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Thread: Love Your Curls

  1. #1
    Tusk Dragon Quasiquixotic's Avatar
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    Default Love Your Curls

    So my daughter is nearly 5. She has curly hair. Depending on how I care for them for her, I can get her in the 3a to 3b range. But lately I've been using cones on her hair because it works for our lives. She can wear her hair down and detangling doesn't cause tears. Win win. It does make her more of a 2b/2c.

    What makes me sad is that she likes this because she tell me all the time she doesn't like her curly hair. That she would rather have straight hair like mine. I tell her that her hair is beautiful. That I would love to have her hair. And she told me we should go to a magical land where we could switch hair with each other and both be happy. No exactly what I meant.

    Over thanksgiving last year she cut about 6" off her hair, by herself. Because she wanted it shorter.

    As an aside, we've started watching YouTube together to see how kanzashi are made. So the commercial before one of the videos was this Dove commercial. And I didn't skip it.



    These little girls say exactly what my daughter has said about her hair. It made me cry. The commercial finished and DD says to me "WOW! That was WONDERFUL!!" I agree sweetie. I agree.

    So how do I raise her opinion of curly hair, when she is the only one in our family with curly hair? Do I keep with the cones? They make life better, but they depress her curl.

    It makes me so sad that she doesn't love her hair. Like I've failed.

    Thanks for listening to me ramble.
    Last edited by Quasiquixotic; February 1st, 2015 at 04:37 PM.
    ISO: Medium or Small leopard, border, or silky Logo ficcare
    Pixie to TBL. Cut back to waist, thinking of going shorter



  2. #2
    Growing in the Silvers hennalonghair's Avatar
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    Default Re: Love Your Curls

    Hey a Quasi. Why not just keep doing what you are doing. I think most little girls wish they had a different hair type and society doesn't really help much because there is too much money to be made in our disappointments and insecurities. Luckily things are slowly changing like these Dove commercials.
    Let her know that it's perfectly normal to want a different hairtype but show her that she can learn to love herself just the way she is. If she prefers cones in her hair for now why not just go with it? Perhaps let her know that her thoughts aren't wrong. We ALL think the grass is greener on the other side .

    Years ago when my niece was a little girl she hated her curls also. She's bi racial but my goodness she not only owns them but rocks her curly style now.
    Last edited by hennalonghair; February 1st, 2015 at 05:01 PM.

  3. #3
    Tusk Dragon Quasiquixotic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Love Your Curls

    Examples of her curls

    Self photo





    with cones and after cut

    ISO: Medium or Small leopard, border, or silky Logo ficcare
    Pixie to TBL. Cut back to waist, thinking of going shorter



  4. #4
    Growing in the Silvers hennalonghair's Avatar
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    Default Re: Love Your Curls

    That's the end result of the haircut she did herself?
    Wow! She did an awesome job. I admire her Curiy hair but I really love that wavy look.
    I'd personally explain how very very lucky she is that her hair is so versatile that she can have it either way. I've got similar hair where I can wear it super curly OR in waves and I totally love it. When I was younger.... Not so much
    BUT I didn't have a loving caring mom like you are to your little one here.
    Very very adorable little girl Quasi

  5. #5
    LHC FairyGodMum lapushka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Love Your Curls

    Try buying her "special" (you know what I mean) products to make her hair happy. The less tangles and tough detangling, the more she'll come to love her hair. Make taking care of her hair your special time together. She'll come to associate a lot of good with her curls that way.
    WCC method (washing) --- Rinse-out oil (MO) --- LOC/LCO method (styling)

  6. #6
    Lover of Rainbows & Curls Quixii's Avatar
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    Default Re: Love Your Curls

    I'm sorry she doesn't like her curls. I can only hope that that will come with time, especially since you're so wonderful and help encourage her and her hair.
    Knee+ length! Lady Gelôs, Keeper of the Silken Aulaeum in the Order of the Long Haired Knights <3

  7. #7
    Tusk Dragon Quasiquixotic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Love Your Curls

    thank you all for your kind words

    That's after I evened it up. She cut both sides to roughly that length, so she had one chunk in the back that was her original length. I cut that and saved it for her, or more like me.

    Coincidentally, the cony conditioner for her CO washes we use is Dove.
    Last edited by Quasiquixotic; February 1st, 2015 at 06:26 PM.
    ISO: Medium or Small leopard, border, or silky Logo ficcare
    Pixie to TBL. Cut back to waist, thinking of going shorter



  8. #8
    DIY all the way Rushli's Avatar
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    Default Re: Love Your Curls

    i hated my hair simply because I did not know how to make it work. I was dealing with wavy hair that would be part wavy, part straight and mostly fluffy. It was not until I learned to work with it, that I learned to love it. Being 4 she does not know (or care) how to deal with curls. It might be years before her does but when she is ready to start making her own hair decisions (not counting the big chop!), she will have a ton of basic knowledge already in her head. And for whatever she has forgotten or needs to learn, she has you! Sometimes you just have to wait for all he right pieces to come together.

    Homemade shampoo bar & conditioner (no ‘kitchen’ ingredients)
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  9. #9
    Growing in the Silvers hennalonghair's Avatar
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    Default Re: Love Your Curls

    I personally think her thick wavy hair is beautiful. She is only 4. Not even 5 yet. I don't know many small children who love their hair at that age.
    She wanted hair more like yours and now she has it. That doesn't mean shes never going to embrace her natural curls. Just not now.
    You seem more devastated by the cut than her. lol....understandably so because you have been the one caring for it.
    But if "her' happiness is the most important thing then why not embrace the new look she wants.
    Its just darling in my opinion.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Love Your Curls

    Quote Originally Posted by hennalonghair View Post
    Hey a Quasi. Why not just keep doing what you are doing...
    I have a friend who disliked his curls because he felt them to be untidy and unstylish. I personally love curls and have been telling him his curls are amazing for six years now. Recently his thoughts have completely changed and he loves his curls. I think what made the most difference was:
    1. He found a washing method that keeps him and his curls happy.
    2. He could see long hair (often curly haired men) portrayed in the media in a good light.

    The media has more influence on us than we would like to admit sometimes, we can use this for our benefit. It sounds to me like you are doing a great job supporting your daughter and caring for her, perhaps in addition you could now give her a goal to strive for? Show her what well cared for curly hair looks like. If that doesn't "work" I would personally let her have what she wants within boundaries. In my personal opinion I think that although you can shape a child's thoughts they do still have their own personality, and sometimes that includes preferring shorter hair.

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