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Thread: Frustration setting in again...

  1. #1
    Member CoveredByLove's Avatar
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    Default Frustration setting in again...

    I'm beginning to become frustrated with my hair once again...it seems like my curls want to disappear on me all the time. My hair used to be 3b, but over the course of a couple years and after a baby it's definitely 3a and HARD to get curls...I'm not sure what's going on. It looks like 2b hair if I put gel in and let it air dry but if I diffuse it with a blow dryer it I get 3a spiral hair. My family prolly thinks I'm nuts because over the last couple years I'll say "well...it looks like I'm not going to be curly anymore" and then I discovered protein conditioner (MNT) and my hair will be crazy curly...only to end up with a rough stringy unclumped mess after a while. Today my hair feels really rough...so I guess protein overload??? I'm trying really hard to embrace what my hair is naturally...maybe it really is just wavy and I'm forcing it to be something it's not anymore?
    Im really confused...
    I clarified and let my hair air dry with nothing in it one day to officially type my hair and it looked like 2c...big loopy waves. It was pretty...but I'm having a hard time adjusting.
    Any ideas about products to help my hair get the proper protein moisture balance?
    and what exactly IS my hair type?! Is it what it is when I scrunch and diffuse? Or is it actually what it is when I air dry?
    It's on days like this that I just wanna go out and perm it again so it will be curly everyday like I want it to! (but I won't because I remember the terrible awfulness that followed)

    Current ​Length Stretched: BSL
    Next goal: ​Waist


  2. #2
    Member cole's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustration setting in again...

    I am in a similar boat. I don't know if it's just age, lack of crazy puberty hormones, from using bleach/henna... or what. I used to have beautiful ringlets once upon a time and now my hair is mostly a limp wave with only a few of my old sausage curls appearing at my nape if I let it dry properly. Really bothersome, because I want my hair to still curl as I continue to grow it out. I'm scared that I'm going to have to chop it short to get it all to grow out how it used to be again before I started doing things to it. And even then, will it be gone forever?

  3. #3
    Member CoveredByLove's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustration setting in again...

    I know right. I hold a really strong identity with my curly hair and loosing it is devastating to think about...I don't really want to settle for waves...pretty as they are...it's no where near the gorgeous ringlets I once had...I'm glad to know I'm not in this boat alone...it doesn't help that a particular family member makes it known that she prefers my hair curly and not straighter. I do too..but. I mean I have to embrace what is, ya know?
    I also got curly from puberty hormones...maybe mine are wearing off too or something...

    Current ​Length Stretched: BSL
    Next goal: ​Waist


  4. #4
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    Default Re: Frustration setting in again...

    Quote Originally Posted by CoveredByLove View Post
    I'm beginning to become frustrated with my hair once again...it seems like my curls want to disappear on me all the time. My hair used to be 3b, but over the course of a couple years and after a baby it's definitely 3a and HARD to get curls...I'm not sure what's going on. It looks like 2b hair if I put gel in and let it air dry but if I diffuse it with a blow dryer it I get 3a spiral hair. My family prolly thinks I'm nuts because over the last couple years I'll say "well...it looks like I'm not going to be curly anymore" and then I discovered protein conditioner (MNT) and my hair will be crazy curly...only to end up with a rough stringy unclumped mess after a while. Today my hair feels really rough...so I guess protein overload??? I'm trying really hard to embrace what my hair is naturally...maybe it really is just wavy and I'm forcing it to be something it's not anymore?
    Im really confused...
    I clarified and let my hair air dry with nothing in it one day to officially type my hair and it looked like 2c...big loopy waves. It was pretty...but I'm having a hard time adjusting.
    Any ideas about products to help my hair get the proper protein moisture balance?
    and what exactly IS my hair type?! Is it what it is when I scrunch and diffuse? Or is it actually what it is when I air dry?
    It's on days like this that I just wanna go out and perm it again so it will be curly everyday like I want it to! (but I won't because I remember the terrible awfulness that followed)
    Has your hair grown over the past years as it has lost curl? If so, the added weight of the longer hair may be pulling it straighter. (particularly if your pattern is not super tightly curly).

    If you check out the hair typing guide (I am on mobile and can't link to it) it recommends washing and air drying without any product...except for curlies who may need to add leave in to prevent massive tangles.

  5. #5
    Member cole's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustration setting in again...

    I do know that plopping sort of helped me in the past, but I never really felt like I was doing it right. Sometimes it would work wonderfully and other times it would just sort of smush everything wrong, no matter how loosely I tied my tshirt up. I do know that my particular curl is prone to getting weighed down more with length, but I'm only at shoulder length and it shouldn't be weighed down THIS much. Last time I had this length, I still had my sausage curls. I'll see if I can't hunt down a few photos to compare.

    I have had some hair loss due to anxiety and depression from about a year ago, but I have gotten loads better in handling all that over the last year. I do feel like my hair is getting thicker. Were my hair longer, I would experiment with drying it while lying on a yoga mat and towel with it splayed out over head, so there isn't much gravity at all in the mixture. If I tried it now, however, I'd probably just crush the back half of my head and make it look awful. xD

    My mom constantly reminds me how lovely my curls are. I had a few people in my life at all the important awkward stages of life who just constantly reminded me how wonderful it was to have curly hair, and how it made me even more of a unique person. I certainly grew to love it. I feel like a huge part of me is lost now, though. If my curls aren't perky, I feel less confident and less like myself.

  6. #6
    Member lazuliblue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustration setting in again...

    Quote Originally Posted by CoveredByLove View Post
    I know right. I hold a really strong identity with my curly hair and loosing it is devastating to think about...I don't really want to settle for waves...pretty as they are...it's no where near the gorgeous ringlets I once had...I'm glad to know I'm not in this boat alone...it doesn't help that a particular family member makes it known that she prefers my hair curly and not straighter. I do too..but. I mean I have to embrace what is, ya know?
    I also got curly from puberty hormones...maybe mine are wearing off too or something...
    Have you tried the curly girl method? Basically you don't use cones or sulfates and just CO wash (there's loads of info if you google it). There's a thread on another forum that shows all the before and afters....it's pretty amazing! Lots of people regained their former curliness, so there is hope

    And I think your natural hair type is when you just leave your hair to air dry and don't do anything to it.
    Last edited by lazuliblue; April 20th, 2014 at 07:43 AM. Reason: Spelling
    Pixie ~ Chin ~ Shoulder ~ APL - BSL ~ MBL ~ Waist ~ Hip ~ Tailbone
    Growing out a pixie since May 2012
    Cut back to APL December 2016



  7. #7
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    Default Re: Frustration setting in again...

    Your natural hair type is when you leave it air dry, I think, but the way you wash (in the shower or upside down) and eventually dry the excess water can influence. I think the most natural result is like when you get off the sea, but it's not very handy to try...

    I suffered something similar too, and for me the spray with water and conditioner 1:1 works a lot!

  8. #8
    Member cole's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustration setting in again...

    Quote Originally Posted by CharisH View Post
    Your natural hair type is when you leave it air dry, I think, but the way you wash (in the shower or upside down) and eventually dry the excess water can influence. I think the most natural result is like when you get off the sea, but it's not very handy to try...

    I suffered something similar too, and for me the spray with water and conditioner 1:1 works a lot!
    Is that for washing, or for styling?

  9. #9
    Hiding in plain sight spidermom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustration setting in again...

    My hair used to be curlier, too. I missed it so much when my hair was around tailbone length. For a lot of reasons, I ended up cutting back to waist and layered. I thought for sure that would bring my curls back, but no. I do, however, get a curlier result if I use a spray gel (or other curl-encouraging product) and twirl strands of hair around my fingers as it dries.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Frustration setting in again...

    Quote Originally Posted by cole View Post
    Is that for washing, or for styling?
    For styling! I use it when I finish to wash and dry my hair, and then every morning before going out.

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