Finally have my dream hair, but I am not happy.

[misspriss]

Well, my hair is perfect. I have surpassed waist, and now am bordering hip (with a SOLID waist curly). My hair has never been chemically treated, rarely heat styled. It's beautiful. Drool-worthy. But I'm struggling with it.

I have a baby, almost toddler. I have always disagreed with the idea that mom's cut off their hair, but now I am seeing why. I can't ever do anything with it. It has to be pulled back. It takes so long to wash and care for and I'm not enjoying my long hair. I considered bangs, but I have decided against that because of the curliness of my hair. Updos are also starting to give me headaches, so a low braid or low ponytail is all I can do.

So, I'm going to enjoy my hair for a week or two more, then cut it back to APL. I will probably let it grow back to BSL-sih. Maybe by then, it will be easier with LO.


Anyway, to commemorate the beautiful hair:

[Applegirl84]

As a mom of 3 (almost 4 yr old and almost 2 yr old twins) I would say hold off! You're almost through the worst part and soon you'll be able to wear it down again. Since my twins hit 18 months I spend way less time carrying them and therefore wear it down more often. Since the twins were born I didn't chop it, but I did trim off all new growth and I regret it now. My hair would have been so much longer by now!

I mean if you really want it shorter go for it, but if it's simply about convenience I would wait. If you cut to APL it will take you years to grow it back to almost hip. And believe me you will care about your hair again soon.

I find french braids and simple buns easy when I'm really hands on with my kids. As they get older they are interested in my hair and like to gently touch it. "soft" they say

[melesine]

Of course I support your decision to cut it if you want to, but I agree with Applegirl. In the long run it will take longer to grow back out than it will take for your baby to get to the stage where you have time for your hair.

[misspriss]

As a mom of 3 (almost 4 yr old and almost 2 yr old twins) I would say hold off! You're almost through the worst part and soon you'll be able to wear it down again. Since my twins hit 18 months I spend way less time carrying them and therefore wear it down more often. Since the twins were born I didn't chop it, but I did trim off all new growth and I regret it now. My hair would have been so much longer by now!

I mean if you really want it shorter go for it, but if it's simply about convenience I would wait. If you cut to APL it will take you years to grow it back to almost hip. And believe me you will care about your hair again soon.

I find french braids and simple buns easy when I'm really hands on with my kids. As they get older they are interested in my hair and like to gently touch it. "soft" they say

I appriciate your input, but you realize you are saying "Your child is 9 months, by the time he is double that age it gets better". DOUBLE.

And I'm only talking about cutting 8-10 inches, that won't take YEARS to grow back. 18 months really. (I'm quite short).

And no one even noticed that my hair is giving me headaches in updos?

Anyway, I see what you all are saying. In fact, I keep telling myself the same thing. It's like one side of my head wants to keep it long, and the other side wants to cut it. I also want to explore my curl pattern at a shorter length, seeing as how the top doesn't curl or wave much at all anymore.

I just don't know. I mean I had a pixie 3 years ago, it wouldn't take that long to grow back out. I want to try it shorter, explore my curls, make it easier to care for, try something different for a while. It will always grow back long again. By the time I think I would miss it, it would be well on its way to growing back out, you know?

[Hairitic]

Yes, you can wear low buns as well as the braids and tails. Babies can still grab at the APL hai so , I'm not so sure you would find anything less than a pixie/short bob to be short enough without tying it back anyway. My take is, it's either got to be really short or if it's long enough to tie back, it might as well be as long as it can be. I'd think long and hard about a chop. Just my $.02.

[LauraLongLocks]

I'm sad that you aren't happy with your dream hair.

I have 11 children, and if I cut my hair for each of them, I wouldn't have any hair at all.

Babies grow. So does hair. Just be sure you are doing what you want and will have no regrets.

[misspriss]

Yes, you can wear low buns as well as the braids and tails. Babies can still grab at the APL hai so , I'm not so sure you would find anything less than a pixie/short bob to be short enough without tying it back anyway. My take is, it's either got to be really short or if it's long enough to tie back, it might as well be as long as it can be. I'd think long and hard about a chop. Just my $.02.

True, but APL hair is not going to fall on the baby in the swing and wake him up like hip length hair will (that happened this morning. I got him asleep and was putting him down, and my hair fell over and woke him up!)

I am thinking long and hard about it, and it's driving me mad! It's heavy, it takes a lot of conditioner, it takes a long time to wash (the one time a week I get to wash it) it gives me headaches. I can't wear anything but a low bun or braid or low ponytail. I miss high buns and ponies. I wish the top had more curl and wasn't pulled down by the length. I don't like having to worry about where it is when I sit down or fasten my seatbelt or have to pull my low pony/low braid out of my coat every time I put it on. I feel like I go through all this trouble for what? To have long hair? To what end? So I can say I can? I don't ever get to wear it down or enjoy it, even if it is low maintenance it is a burden to what end?

Maybe I should just take a few inches off at a time and see how I feel. I only recently started getting the headaches, maybe a few inches off would make the difference.

[rosestark]

I'm not a mom so who am I to weigh in but ... in my opinion, if your hair's bothering you that much, you should cut it. I think that the idea of a few inches at a time only is a good one - your hair is beautiful and I'm sure you've taken a good bit of time growing it, so you don't want to regret a big chop. Heck, I just got a trim and I regretted it immediately (but my hair is much shorter)! Anyway, what I wanted to say was that sometimes when we reach our 'dreams' we discover they're not all they're cracked up to be, and I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting APL or BSL hair instead of the original goal. Like others have said, just be sure that is what you want. And then, hey, give it a shot, a few inches at a time. If you don't like it, it'll grow back.

[patienceneeded]

I am sorry your hair is giving you headaches! I find that I get headaches if I bun too tightly...it seems the tension is the cause for me, rather than weight. My hair is thicker than yours and similar in length. Not nearly as curly though... Perhaps playing with the tension of your buns would alleviate the headaches?

Also - only cut it if you are CERTAIN. My hair was BSL/Waist-ish when my DD was about 9 months...and I chopped it to APL thinking shorter would be easier with a grasping little girl covered in rice-cereal always trying to touch my hair. I was wrong! APL hair left loose is still within the grasp of a child's hands, so I STILL had to wear it up daily. Plus, the thickness factor made bunning impossible for me at APL. I was stuck with ponytails and/or a braid. I got really annoyed and chopped to chin after that. Chin was annoying for a different reason - I couldn't pull it back at all! Plus, short hair on me requires actual styling...I have a feeling short hair may be more work for you than you think. I really wish I had not cut my hair to APL then Chin when DD was 9-12 months old. It was way more work than I thought it would be and her grab-everything-in-sight phase did not last as long as the short hair did.

Take time with your decision. It will take time to grow it back out...more time than you think. If you are certain it is the best choice and that you will be happy with it then go for it. But be sure first.

[ravenreed]

I have never regretted cutting my hair, no matter what reason. Hair grows back. Enjoy APL!