Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 39

Thread: Depressed over hair

  1. #1
    Member ErinLeigh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Age
    46
    Posts
    2,182
    Type
    2a/F/i/ii

    Default Depressed over hair

    In taking a little break from here but wanted to wish everyone a happy new year.
    I may lurk once in a while. I'm just to depressed to think about my hair. I worked so hard to get it healthy. Had a color I loved. And once a again its all messed up. I cannot understand why it is so difficult to get consistent results. I asked for highlights in my bangs. Nothing beyond ear as far as placement. Just a few foils.
    What did I get?
    So many highlights my hair is apricot. Matches my black eyebrows well. Sarcasm.
    My once soft and smooth hair is tangly dry and messed up. I can already tell its gonna split.

    I like my hair dark blond with a few blond pieces. I shouldn't have to give that up and be unhappy. Yet I shouldn't have to constantly get the opposite of what I ask for. I don't don't if its a hair curse but no one can get it right consistently. I will get perfection one cut. And a disaster the next. Same with color.

    I dont Want natural hair but I do want root only applications with four foils added to the shorter bang area. My throw away hair. Is that really so difficult?

    I know now bleach isn't supported so I know I will get the "what did you expect" but I just can't deal with that right now.

    Very down and out.
    I don't know if I'm just more hyper aware of damage or what but this experience was so bad.
    I felt the bleach was left on way to long. My scalp felt like it was almost burning. Did that happen before and I didn't notice?
    When blow drying I was in pain. The heat was so high and it felt like it would never stop. Was it always like that and I'm just used to drying on cool?
    I don't know what it is but this was such an u pleasant experience. I'm just going to grow out the color. Stop highlighting and so root only touchups with no highlights ever. I'm tired if being someone's experiment. If I can't get it done right I simply don't want it anymore.

    I need to go look at my hair. I can't decide what is damage is what is just my hysteria. I'm so used to a smooth texture and tangle free hair. I need to see if the damage is as bad as in my head or if it is going to be ok.
    Last edited by ErinLeigh; December 31st, 2013 at 01:05 PM.
    Cut hair 11.06.2013 to CBL. Patiently waiting for it to grow back strong and healthy.
    Photo taken 12.04.2013

  2. #2
    Account Closed by Member Request
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    3,426
    Length
    SL/BSL/BSL/W
    Type
    2a/F/i

    Default Re: Depressed over hair

    I hope you feel better, I know how it feels to not get consistent results and feel like whatever you do, something isn't going to be right.

  3. #3
    Member bunnylake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    LI, NY
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,190
    Type
    1b/1c/M/ii

    Default Re: Depressed over hair

    When you feel ready, go on a quest to find a great colorist. Read reviews, ask around. When you find one you think can give you what you want, being them pictures of the color/highlights you want so they understand clearly. Be honest about your past experience. If you like the one you find, stick to them.
    Maybe try doing a deep treatment like SMT? That always makes me feel better when I'm in a rut over my hair. That and a trim.


  4. #4
    Member blue_eyes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    716
    Length
    12/20/26
    Type
    1a/F/i

    Default Re: Depressed over hair

    I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling that way I've been there. I wanted to be blonde too and I ended up having the majority of my hair break in half...and it takes such a long time to recover/grow back. When I was dyeing my hair dark it was sometimes perfect, and the next it was patchy. It's so frustrating to be unhappy with your hair. It should not be this hard.

    I really hope things improve <3

  5. #5
    Member swearnsue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Desert SW, USA
    Age
    65
    Posts
    2,247
    Length
    1.5/33"/TERM!
    Type
    1b/F/i/ii

    Default Re: Depressed over hair

    You have every right to have blonde highlights done properly! You should have the hair you want. Sounds like the hairdresser didn't do it right and certainly didn't follow your request.

    I used to highlight my own hair and it looked pretty good too if I so say myself. And it's a heck of a lot cheaper! Just something to think about for the future. I would highlight so few hairs that even if they fried and fell out (which they never did) I wouldn't mind.
    High Priestess Milkthystle of Glowing Sands in the Order of the Long Haired Knights

  6. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Age
    65
    Posts
    899
    Length
    awl/tb/cl
    Type
    2c/3a/M/ii

    Default Re: Depressed over hair

    I dyed my hair on my own, age 15 to 54. Single process drugstore dyes.
    54-59,somehow a salon kidnapped me,tinting my now white,roots dark blonde.
    What'll help you-wash your hair in conditioner only-a thick one you'd normally use as leave on deep treatment. Do a SMt or two.

    Then my saving grace was always Nice & Easy from drugstore-in shade Lightest Golden Brown. If your hairs long-buy 2 boxs-I always use two. Lightest golden brown is a dark blonde,light caramel brown shade.
    I'd dye my hair all over that-wait a few weeks-And try again.
    i second doing it yourself.

  7. #7
    Bad Hair Day Faerie breezefaerie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Midwest
    Age
    50
    Posts
    2,878
    Type
    1c/F/i

    Default Re: Depressed over hair

    Ouch. You most certainly deserve to have exactly what you ask for in a salon whether that be foils on your bangs or a blue mohawk.
    Baby your hair and scalp for a while before doing any more chemical processing to minimize the damage.

  8. #8
    Hiding in plain sight spidermom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    the shore of Lake Erie
    Age
    66
    Posts
    34,654
    Length
    pixie/BSL/waist
    Type
    2c/F/M/ii

    Default Re: Depressed over hair

    So sorry that happened to you. Some stylists have to be watched closely to be sure they're doing exactly what you ask.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Depressed over hair

    I'm sorry you met up with a bad hairstylist. Color is not every stylists game. Many don't understand the chemistry they're doing. So it's best to seek the counsel of a licensed colorist, who will not cut your hair whatsoever. They simply ONLY do color. That's it. I hope you feel better a little bit, it's likely not as bad as you think it is.
    heidi w.

    By Lady Godiva
    Avatar Photo: Bruce Folck, Blue Dragon Photography. Profile Photo: LJC

  10. #10
    Member monsoonstorm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    594
    Type
    2c/3a/M/ii

    Default Re: Depressed over hair

    I have to admit, I coloured for years as I started going grey very early. Now that I've switched to henna I am finally happy (for now) to be rid of the whole process. Each trip to the hairdresser was stressful. Ask for root touchups only for them to start "pulling the colour through" then when you protest they inform you that they have to or it won't match, and continue to carry on even whilst you are protesting... the incredulous looks when I told them I didn't want it dried, or only to use cold air etc.

    I think the only way to be happy (or at least content with the outcome) is to take it in to your own hands. It won't always be perfect, but somehow you feel more at peace when there's only you to blame and it's been an informed decision you made yourself. I decided to cut some layering into the front of my hair last night. I completely regret it, but it's ok, because I was in charge of the process. It's somewhat annoying, but it will grow again and now I know for the future.

    Don't dismiss lhc saying that people will say "it's bleach, what do you expect!" I've never found that, I think that, for the most part, this is the most unjudgemental forum I've ever been a part of. The majority of people here give you the information you need to make an informed decision, including alternatives if there are any. Many people on here have bangs which they damage on a regular basis, because they know they won't be growing it long and so it doesn't need to be held to the same high standards as the rest of their hair. The damage will be cut off before it becomes a huge issue

    So, options!
    1) find a good colourist. Depending on where you live, could be difficult and time consuming
    2) drug store options, do it yourself.
    3) "natural" lightening options including lemon juice, honey and all of that jazz, perhaps sun in if you live somewhere without perpetual cloud cover like me!

    I personally would go with 2 & 3, I've lived in one of the largest cities in the world and failed in my quest to find a hairdresser who will actually listen. It needs a lot of trial and error, and in turn, cost.

    One other thing, I have noticed a lot of posts from you recently asking for lots of advice on different things, is it to try and fix the damage done? My suggestion is to slow down, don't try to change too much too fast, give your hair time to adapt. Take a step back. What's done is done, it can't really be changed, but what you can do is make small steps towards what will make you feel better. Too much too fast will lead to frustration and disappointment.

    I'm a mere 8 months in to growing out my salon colour. I have a long way to go. The bottom of my hair is a frazzled mess after one (far?) too many pullthroughs that I wasn't assertive enough to stop. Every so often I will take a bit off and it will make me happier knowing that I'm one step closer to being rid of the hairdresser's project hair. In the meantime I "tame" the bits I don't like with oil and put them up in a bun, or in a braid.

    Take back control!
    Last edited by monsoonstorm; December 31st, 2013 at 02:44 PM.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •