Well, I set my anxiety-inducing salon appointment.

[Anne10]

It's for Wednesday morning. We don't fly out until the middle of September so I figure if the stylist does something horrendous, that will give me a little time to try to find someone who can fix it. I didn't get much information over the phone. The receptionist or whoever answered was curt and brusque so I didn't ask much except how long the appointment will be. She said they do 2-hour appointments for new clients, so that's a good thing. I should have some time to ask questions before she starts. I'm trying to stay open-minded but based on past experience it's going to be hard not to bolt out of there. So much stress! I'm hardly going to be able to sleep until then. Augh!!!

[fairview]

Okay, before anyone takes scissors to your hair, after the shampoo/conditioning service. after you return to the chair, when you are asked how much you want trimmed off, PLEASE stand up and show the stylist exactly how much your 2", your one inch, or whatever amount you want removed is. I know exactly what 2 inches is when a guest tells me that is how much they want trimmed off. our combs have ruler on DUH. At least a bunch of mine does.

Absolutely no one sits in front of a mirror and says, "oh my, my hair has gotten so long, I need to get it cut." They do it standing up in the bathroom looking in the mirror which is why you should do the same for the stylist. A good stylist will then use his scissors to create a guide cut where you have shown the length to be removed. After that, it all down hill and you can relax.

Just tonight I had a stylist sit in my chair and was sure she wanted 2" removed from her hair. I looked at her and said whatever, we will talk about the perimeter after we are done shampooing. She gave me a queer look but went along. When we were done and returned to my chair, I doubled caped her backwards with my Paul Mitchell white cape that has 2" letters with lines above and below. I combed her hair our, pinned everything up except for the first drop, had her stand up and using the letters and 2 lines as a reference point, tell me where the cut would be. Her hair just came to the bottom of the letters and she chose the middle of the letters and my response to her was, you know your 2" trim is really a 1" trim. Those letters are exactly 2"inches in height. She looked at it again and again and said she needed to start doing this with her guests, I was pretty smart doing it this way. I looked at her and laughed and said, "Not bad for a new stylist that has been cutting hair for only 37 days." She had me cut the full 2 inches off and at the end she said it was done exactly the way she wanted it done and it was the best haircut she has ever had.

Not all of us are arrrogant know it alls. Some of us really listen, care and do exactly whjat our guests want.

[Anne10]

I will. I'm more worried about the color lift than the trim, though. I'm going to bring in pictures - of what I want and what I don't want - so hopefully we'll be on the same page but I swear sometimes people see very different things in the same picture.

I was wondering... should I go in without any makeup so she can see my natural coloring? It's absolutely crucial that the color look completely natural.

[Flor]

I will. I'm more worried about the color lift than the trim, though. I'm going to bring in pictures - of what I want and what I don't want - so hopefully we'll be on the same page but I swear sometimes people see very different things in the same picture.

I was wondering... should I go in without any makeup so she can see my natural coloring? It's absolutely crucial that the color look completely natural.

You're already sending mixed signals here It's the either the color on the picture, or hairdresser's judgement call of what does with your skin tone.

What is your hair like and what are you getting done exactly?

And in regards of discussing what you want with the hairdresser - before you even commit to have anything done to you AT ALL. You talk all the details before someone gets any close to your hair, even if it's just a wash

In my experience, you get best results if you're incredibly strict and direct with your wishes. Not to say that it guarantees that they won't try to persuade you another way or simply would fail to deliver anyway, but the least room for improvisation you'll leave them, the more likely you'll get what you want.

[Anne10]

This stylist's assessment of my skin tone might not be the same as my last stylist's assessment, thus the pictures. I thought they would help, no? My last stylist specialized in color and she was brilliant at it.

My hair is fine and thin, it's very fragile and breaks easily. A lot of it fell out in response to severe trauma from a car accident many years ago, it never grew back. You can see bald patches if my hair isn't styled very, very carefully. Think of the hair of someone undergoing chemotherapy (no disrespect meant to any cancer survivors here, it's just a touchstone people generally understand). Over the years the natural ash blond color has gone mostly gray - I just want the pretty, lighter color back, the way the sun used to make my hair look when I was younger. That was what my last stylist did so well. She understood all of this and was a color genius. She was very careful and made my wreck of a head of hair look as pretty as she could while minimizing damage and loss.

She moved away a while ago, though. I haven't had the courage to go to anyone else since, this will be the first time. The good news is that all of the hair I have now is completely virgin so it can handle a teeny bit of damage right now (I know the Framesi and peroxide will do that) but the bad news is if she's not exceedingly careful it could really turn out badly. I don't know how to make her really understand that.

[Flor]

I think you need to tell her exactly what you said here. If you're looking for someone to hopefully become your go-to hair specialist, the best way to do it is to tell her exactly what are your worries and what effect you're looking to archive. I think they're a lot less likely to cookie-cut/style your hair, if they know you and your hair history better. Good luck to you! Try not to picture it as a negative experience from the start. Some positive attitude does wonders sometimes.

[juliaxena]

I hope you have fun! I had a half inch trim yesterday, I always love how that looks!

My sister trimmed 4 inches off - her ends were thinned out and split and breaking. Her hair looks AMAZING now!

[Anne10]

Thank you, Flor. I worry because I'm not always good at making myself understood. It's difficult to really convey the impact of losing so much of your hair so young, especially as a woman. It was traumatic back then and still is. Now I'm in my forties but my hair looks like that of a little old man.

juliaxena - I love your attitude! I will try to bring some of that with me to my appointment.

[jacqueline101]

I wish you well on your appointment and I hope your hair turns out good.

[Artisticat]

I don't know...I had such a bad experience 1 1/2 years ago at a new stylist...I'm frightened to go to one again. EVEN THOUGH I know there are good/great stylists out there.
I suggest going for a consultation only (even if you have to pay although I think that's rare). See if you really like him/her first and you feel you're being LISTENED to.

I made so many mistakes and got carried away by the confidence of my (new to me) hairdresser - that I basically let her do what SHE wanted. What I saw in the mirror made me so depressed for some months afterwards. And in the end - I really have myself to blame as I let her do her "magic" (mischief) with me not facing the mirror. When she turned me around to see the result - I thought I would have one of those wonderful makeover results LOL! What a fool I was.

I wish you all the best, but please be clear and firm...don't let anyone talk you into anything you did not want from the beginning. It might help to write it down so you don't get led astray. You can tell I'm battle-scarred!