Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 31

Thread: Some people refuse to be enlightened...

  1. #1

    Thumbs down Some people refuse to be enlightened...

    I was at a party at my sister's house and overheard a hair-related conversation that kind of irritated me.

    One of the guests, a woman in her 40s, had beautiful waist length black hair. She had put it in a ponytail complaining of the heat. She said because she wears her hair in a ponytail so often, she wants to cut it, and besides, she said, "I'm in my 40s and I don't want people to think I'm holding on to my youth."

    Then my sister said that she wants her 5 year old daughter, my niece, to donate her hair so they both were growing their hair together. She knows full well how I feel about LOL. I had mentioned some of the facts to her, how not all the hair gets used, etc. but she seems determined to have my niece do it anyway for the feel-good experience or the sacrifice or whatever.

    The thing is, they don't take care of my niece's hair. It tangles easily and my sis usually rips a brush through to get rid of the tangles, so there's lots of breakage. It's not in the best condition and probably wouldn't be used at all.

    Because it was my nephew's birthday party, I kept my mouth shut. But the two misconceptions that angered me was "women shouldn't have long hair past 40" and "LOL is such a feel-good organization. Every child should do it."

    Should I even bother to tell them otherwise about LOL? I think they will just do it anyway and then I'll look like the killjoy, by badmouthing their beloved charity.

  2. #2
    Member Katahdin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Canadaland
    Age
    27
    Posts
    136
    Length
    APL/waist/class
    Type
    1b/F/M/ii

    Default Re: Some people refuse to be enlightened...

    I feel the same way about my mother.

    She thinks it's silly to grow my hair when it's already waist. She insists I have a terminal length of a bit before hip, because that was as long as I could get it when I was younger. At the time I was taking TERRIBLE care if it though, and this time I'm doing it right.

    We'll see who's laughing when I'm at classic length

    For LOL, I have a feeling a lot of people don't care so much about giving their hair to kids as they do being able to say "Yes, I gave my hair away to a kid with cancer!". I know not ALL people are like that, but many are. My high school did a thing where about 25 kids signed up to have 8" of their hair taken off for LOL, and the organizers of the event were terrible. They cut off their hair w/o pony tails (LOL doesn't accept loose hair), and were spewing out completely false facts, like "With the hair we've just donated, 25 cancerous kids will have a full head of hair and be able to live confidently!" I'm certain they knew this wasn't true too, because they ignored me when I made a complaint about it.

    Grow, grow, grow!

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Denmark
    Posts
    292
    Length
    S-L/APL/BSL
    Type
    2b/M/C/ii

    Default Re: Some people refuse to be enlightened...

    Most people hate an unsolicited preaching, so I would keep my mouth shut if at all possible.

  4. #4
    Member tinah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    oklahoma
    Posts
    62
    Length
    shorn/~tb/clsc
    Type
    2a/2b/M/ii/iii

    Default Re: Some people refuse to be enlightened...

    sometimes you just have to keep your mouth shut. any 40 yr old that cares what people think about her hair is not going to listen to you, and the one with the 5 yr old isn't going to bother to listen.
    I think the best way to get through to people like that is to make sure your hair looks fantastic when you are around them, then they have to say something nice and you can (gently) climb on your soap box under the guise of making conversation.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Some people refuse to be enlightened...

    .................
    Last edited by wintersun99; February 19th, 2010 at 10:55 PM.


  6. #6
    Member CopperHead's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    California
    Age
    69
    Posts
    1,834
    Length
    pixie/Clsc/?
    Type
    2c/F/M/iii

    Default Re: Some people refuse to be enlightened...

    Last holiday season I was donating to a Salvation Army kettle and the woman with the bell was going crazy about my hair. She loved it. She also told me about her relatives who just recently donated their hair to LOL and she was obviously very proud of them. I didn't say a word and just smiled. Sometimes it just doesn't pay to say anything, especially when they are doing it from their heart.

    I learned a long time ago that you can't change anyone's mind once it is made up. If they feel they are too old for long hair, then they probably are. Those of us who don't feel that way aren't. It is all about attitude when you get down to it.

  7. #7
    Member Samikha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Norway
    Age
    31
    Posts
    507
    Length
    26/30/32
    Type
    2a/M/ii/iii

    Default Re: Some people refuse to be enlightened...

    Quote Originally Posted by Nina View Post
    Should I even bother to tell them otherwise about LOL? I think they will just do it anyway and then I'll look like the killjoy, by badmouthing their beloved charity.
    I don't think telling them straight-out will help, to be honest. If they have decided to donate their hair they are already believing and approving the organisation too much. If you feel you should say something - I would! - then you can just say, that in general, one should be a little sceptic of all organisations without proof beyond reputation.

    If they are very dismissive and critical of that, then don't work up a sweat. You can't get them all.

  8. #8
    Account Closed by Member Request
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    43

    Default Re: Some people refuse to be enlightened...

    are there any other hair related charities out there? perhaps one that may be a better choice than LoL?

    honestly, though, I don't think there's anything wrong with growing hair specifically to donate it. While I think parents should have some control over what their child does with their hair, if her daughter decides she wants long hair that decision should be respected. As she's only five now, I don't see any harm in letting mom get her feel good experience. Assuming hair grows an average of six inches per year, I'm guessing it will only be another year or so.

    besides, if you've already talked to her and she's being stubborn about it.. that's her choice. I don't know how long your hair is, but maybe when your niece gets older she'll see your hair is long and be like "mom I want my hair just like hers!" just make sure you don't sound like you're trying to tell her how to parent.. people get REALLY bent out of shape about that.. maybe suggest some other "sacrifice" related charitable activities her and her daughter can get involved with?

    good luck!

    I wouldn't worry about the other woman - she's a big girl and can decide on her own what to do with her hair. besides, you don't want to fall into the 'unsolicited opinion' trap, now do you?

  9. #9

    Default Re: Some people refuse to be enlightened...

    Quote Originally Posted by minkstole View Post
    Most people hate an unsolicited preaching, so I would keep my mouth shut if at all possible.
    Agreed. There are times it is so difficult to hold my tongue but I've learned that it is often best. If speaking will do no good and only cause ill will, it is best to keep it buttoned, even if you know you have an enlightened point of view.

  10. #10
    Fast Follicle Fan DecafJane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Age
    42
    Posts
    2,350
    Length
    14/24/40
    Type
    2c/3a/M/iii

    Default Re: Some people refuse to be enlightened...

    I can understand that this is frustrating for you, but I agree with the above posters - saying something would just make it worse. You can't change their perceptions about life, and they will hang onto them, as having them makes them feel like better people.

    I know that growing our hair long makes us happy on this forum, but if your friends and family aren't into long hair and are growing it out of concern for others, they are cultivating an attitude of caring. Hopefully this will then extend into areas of their lives where they will actually do something that makes a bigger difference.

    Perhaps the 40 year-old lady with the long hair was just expressing momentary frustration or looking for compliments. The thought that people past a certain age shouldn't have long hair is just a convenient way of expressing frustration with the length without having to go into it any further. As nice as her hair is, if she wants to cut it and is then happy about it, that is up to her.
    Lady Cryollaee of the Honored Woodlands in the Order of the Long Haired Knights
    The Goal: No trimming until waist (2013)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •