Guy with very unwieldy hair looking for help

**edwardh** · January 10th, 2012, 08:24 AM

Hi there!

So... the thing is... I suppose many here spend a looooot of time caring about their hair and make it look fantastic (whatever is "fantastic" to them).
But I just want to have my hair look some sort of normal. I don't care about investing one hour every day to have absolutely perfect looking hair. I just don't want to stick out of a crowd like a sore thumb. AND even more importantly - I don't want to "care my hair to death". Which is why I almost exclusively use shampoo that according to one source or another has few harmful chemicals in it and I won't use straightening product.

I have however contemplated getting a flat iron. Because while people often say it does more harm than good... as a man, who knows how long I'll even still have hair. If I'm anything like my father, I'll have a very high hair line in ten years from now anyway. It's already somewhat far up as it is. So I figure I might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

And here's a picture of me with that crazy stuff hanging from the rear. Though I should note: that is with strong hair spray already put into it, otherwise it would be very poofy with lots of strays. And if I would leave out the elastic, it would look something like this (minus the curliness... just an almost straight, poofy mess)

**edwardh** · January 10th, 2012, 08:30 AM

No editng of postings?
Oh well, I'll add it here then:
People have suggested that I should have a hair stylist cut my ends. And I always ask them: What are "ends" to you? Are you actually looking at my hair?

Because that stuff is messy to the root. It has always been poofy, cutting of an inch or two won't help. On the contrary - when they were shorter, they were even poofier. My calculation that longer hair will be heavier and thus weigh itself down a bit did work out a little.

**Maktub** · January 10th, 2012, 08:42 AM

Welcome to LHC, you'll find lots of tips here and NO NEED to take 1 hour a day on your hair, promise !

I'm pretty sure you could have a gorgeous head of curls if you learn to care for it !

Flat iron is a baaaad idea. It will wrek your hair. Try conditionning more than you shampoo (ideally, try without sillicones), your hair needs moisture from that photo...

Try tis : detangle your hair wet, only when there is conditionner in your hair and do it gently with a COMB (wood is ideal, rather than plastic, if you have one). Rinse and then let it air dry completely without messing with it.

Don't brush your hair when dry, this = pooofyness

Then take a picture of you hair air dried without any kind of styling, heat, combing... and then we can help you see the type of hair you have and give more tips accordingly !

**3azza** · January 10th, 2012, 08:44 AM

Welcome! Listen about the puffy straight thing, that is how my hair looked like when my mum used to handle it and brush it dry. Then i learned somehow that if i left it unbrushed (just comb it in the shower when wet), it would turn more curly and less puffy.
Or you could try some conditioning cream instead of the hairspray, that would soften it, and give it shine and weigh it down.

**Arctic** · January 10th, 2012, 08:45 AM

Welcome!

You can edit posts after reaching 25 quality posts, HTH!

You know what, I believe your hair actually IS curly! You will benefit from using curl friendly hair care methods, I'm 100% sure of that! You have great colour and long hair suits you well!

**moxamoll** · January 10th, 2012, 08:45 AM

From what I can see, what you have there are curls that aren't getting the treatment they need. I have just barely more body than stick straight, so I can't help you out, but I suggest you go hunt up some of the curly hair threads! There's also the Curly Girl Handbook, which you should probably hunt up from the library or amazon.

You'll be able to edit your posts after you've got 25+. You can check out the threads in the "New? Start here" section for more info on how the accounts work.

Welcome and good luck!!

**kitschy** · January 10th, 2012, 08:47 AM

edward, have you tried CO washing? I have very curly unruly hair. It's just bushy and dry-looking. Only after I quit washing with shampoo, and started washing with conditioner only (CO), and then letting my hair dried totally untouched (no combing or brushing or manipulation of any kind) did I realize I have ringlets and not frizz.

I've also found that the additional length has helped calm my frizzies.

**spidermom** · January 10th, 2012, 08:52 AM

Start using conditioner. A good method is to put conditioner on your length, shampoo your scalp, rinse, and then use a little more conditioner on your length (not scalp). Comb it through your hair, and I would use a wide-tooth plastic comb, not wooden. Water makes wood swell and split. Then rinse. Leave your hair alone while it dries. If it's still too poofy, try finger-combing a dab of styling cream through your hair after you wash and condition it.

Don't use hair spray. It will dry out your hair.

I look forward to seeing a picture of the change in your hair when you try this. I believe your hair is curly.

**Maktub** · January 10th, 2012, 08:56 AM

Some articles that might interest you, to start of with :

Begining advice

Damaged Hair: Understanding, Preventing & Rehabilitating

Split ends

Co washing

Feye's Self Trimming method

**sazzie88** · January 10th, 2012, 08:56 AM

I stongly suggest co wshing. I dampen my hair cover is in conditioner ( uaually the cheaper ones are better which is a bonus) and then leave it on between 10-40 minutes and then rinse out. ( no shampoo at all) Your hair might be greasy for a few days while it adjusts but I would never go back to shampoo now its too drying