You do not have to use black, if you don't want.
You do need to find a No Lift dye - if it says it will make hair lighter - run the other way. Deposit only won't hurt anything, but if it's a perm and it will lighten your hair, it will have bleaching as part of the all in one two step process. Especially if it's a perm. dye.
You might ask about toners, or fillers - but at this point I'd strongly advise asking someone.
And, honestly - you're probably going to have problems covering gray, no matter what you use. Dye just doesn't stick well to those things.
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