I'm a dude trying to grow long hair, need some advice here

**Rohan** · February 11th, 2013, 10:25 PM

About a year and a half ago I had almost mid back hair (but like 3 inches of dead), but for whatever reason I decided it was too thick so I had the hairdresser thin it with thinning shears. One of the worst choices I ever made. She went too thin on the pieces of hair growing in front of my ears and they still are just as thin. It looked fine until like 8 months later, when it started getting uneven and lots of splits I couldn't control since hairs were all different lengths now. Went to a new hairdresser, she understood my pain and tried to even out the layers without thinning which was another huge mistake because now they're choppy as hell. I just want my hair the way it was before. Blunt cut, all the way around.

Ever since last trim it looks like there is a chunk of hair on both sides completely missing when I part down the center like so (sorry, that first pic looks dreadful haha): http://imgur.com/a/3UfNJ

The front seriously bothers me. It pisses me off every day and I think about it all the time. I'm OCD about a few things and my hair is one of them. The way I've been normally wearing it is with bangs trained back: http://imgur.com/qM29dd9 When it's like this the sides (meaning the hairs growing from in front of my ears) still look super thin but it's better than center part.

What should I do? Should I just chop off everything the same length as the front? Or is it not as bad as I think it is and just let it grow a few inches more? Speaking of that, my hair grows like less than 0.5 inches per month, which seems abnormally slow.

Looks like this right after it dries http://i.imgur.com/EgUxDu4.jpg

More photos http://imgur.com/a/IpDsu

I want to cut it all to the front's length, but what I'm worried about is that that layer is not straight. There's pieces missing and cutting to that length would look very bad. It's also so short in the back as you can see. Do you think I could just ask for 2 inches off the bottom, and not touch anything else? Then just regularly get that cut until it meets the top layer? Or would getting it cut diagonally like this be viable for now? http://i.imgur.com/WAmVgAb.jpg

I'm going in tomorrow, what exactly should I tell the lady? I really don't want to mess this up anymore. I hate it so bad I sometimes feel like just cutting it all off. But my hair is my favorite thing in the world and that would be the end of me.

**Kaelee** · February 11th, 2013, 10:45 PM

I grew out that haircut!!!! I feel your pain, the first picture you linked DOES look pretty bad, I had a haircut really similar to that (I had a shag, went for a trim and a stylist BUTCHERED it! I was so upset!)

In the other pictures, your hair doesn't look bad at all. The second picture, with the bangs back looks AWESOME actually!

It also looks really good from the back. I would let it grow and gradually trim off one layer at a time. What I wound up doing is putting it up and forgetting about it for a couple months, until it grew out some, then I found a good hairdresser to help fix some of the damage.

Now I trim my own hair, and I'm so much happier doing that (it's a lot cheaper AND I have control over how much gets taken off!). For the worst of the splits, you can invest in some good hair scissors (they don't have to be super expensive. Decent ones can be found in the $10-$20 range) do "Seek and Destroy".

ETA: here's MY haircut from hell:

After a good hairstylist fixed it up:

I don't have any recent pictures but I don't have ANY layers left, and my hair is almost BSL. It took several years unfortunately, but I enjoyed the journey!

**Lyv** · February 11th, 2013, 10:52 PM

If you want to cut it all to one length I'm sure she would be able to blend any missing pieces. Or if you're sure it won't look right she could just take a couple of inches off the bottom and try to blend the shortest layer with the rest. I would definitely tell her not to take any length off of the layers if you aren't wanting to go any shorter. You can't tell that the front is shorter when you have it pushed back from your face (I can't anyway) I think it looks good. Did you see if maybe she could do a consultation before cutting? If not and you just want to go 100% tell her to stop if it isn't looking the way you'd like it too.

**Naiadryade** · February 12th, 2013, 12:09 AM

I also gain length painfully slowly, so I understand not wanting to chop it all to the length of the front pieces! Though I do think it would look a lot better if you did that. The diagonal cut seems like a decent option--that way you don't lose the length in the back, but it will look less severe from the front. Though I do agree that it looks just fine with it swept back over your head like in that one picture.

You have really nice hair, by the way. It looks soft. What's your goal length?

**Allychan** · February 12th, 2013, 11:56 PM

Originally Posted by Kaelee

I grew out that haircut!!!! I feel your pain, the first picture you linked DOES look pretty bad, I had a haircut really similar to that (I had a shag, went for a trim and a stylist BUTCHERED it! I was so upset!)

In the other pictures, your hair doesn't look bad at all. The second picture, with the bangs back looks AWESOME actually!

It also looks really good from the back. I would let it grow and gradually trim off one layer at a time. What I wound up doing is putting it up and forgetting about it for a couple months, until it grew out some, then I found a good hairdresser to help fix some of the damage.

Now I trim my own hair, and I'm so much happier doing that (it's a lot cheaper AND I have control over how much gets taken off!). For the worst of the splits, you can invest in some good hair scissors (they don't have to be super expensive. Decent ones can be found in the $10-$20 range) do "Seek and Destroy".

ETA: here's MY haircut from hell:

After a good hairstylist fixed it up:

I don't have any recent pictures but I don't have ANY layers left, and my hair is almost BSL. It took several years unfortunately, but I enjoyed the journey!

Wow you guys could be 'hairdresser butchered' hair twins!
I agree with Kealee, it looks good in the second photo with it pushed back. I'd probably go with a microtrim to even it out and stay away from the hairdressers for a while, they seem to be just adding to your woes and aren't doing a very good job at helping with your hair journey. As you mentioned you have slow growing hair I would hate for you to cut it off and get despondent

I avoid cutting as much as possible and your hair looks really healthy.

**spirals** · February 13th, 2013, 12:29 AM

If you do get it cut, maybe kaelee would be ok with letting you show her second picture to the stylist? More blended layers would look good on you.

**lolar** · February 13th, 2013, 02:23 AM

I had that hair cut too, but ALOT shorter. I cried for days after. Im not going to lie, its an utter pain to grow out but it will. I put mine up and tried to forget about in then after about 6months or so I would get a trim. You need to think of the positives. Your hair is probably alot healthier since the cut so it's not all a bad thing and it WILL Grow. Seriously this time next year you will probably be stressing it's too thick again.

**starlamelissa** · February 13th, 2013, 06:06 AM

I had that haircut too. Keep it in a ponytail for 6 months or so until your front pieces reach your collarbone and then ask for a blunt cut all one length.