Considering cutting - any advice?

[2peasinapod]

I have come to the realization that my goal length is simply not possible for me. I was going to grow to waist, then maybe to terminal, but I'm having more than enough problems with BSL.

My hair is simply so heavy! All I can do at the moment is wear it down, low pony, or four or more braids. Everything else simply hurts too much. I have tried just about everything. I've tried layers. I've tried sectioning, but no matter what I do, nothing works.

If I do a low bun, it falls out within 30 minutes. If I do a mid or high style, it stays, but hurts after about 30 minutes. It doesn't matter if I do one bun or ponytail, two, three, or even four. If I do a single braid, it pulls no matter how tight or loose I do it. If I do two braids hanging down, I feel the weight, then it pulls.

I have tried hairsticks, hair forks, barettes, flexi8s, ficcares, slides, pins, and more. Every barette or clip I've tried snaps open after a few minutes no matter how much or how little hair I put in. Hair sticks and forks simply fall out from the weight no matter which technique I use (for the record, i could get them to stay at APL). Same with flexis. The only thing that holds is ficcares, but even those get uncomfortable after a little while.

I've tried using pins to secure a style, but I seriously need at least ten bobby pins to hold, and those hurt. I know I'm distributing the weight evenly because it doesn't hurt at first, only after 20-30 minutes. Again, I could use them no problem at APL, but I can't do much with my hair at that length!

I am so frustrated because the reason I started growing my hair out was to be able to do all those pretty updos, and I can't even do a simple bun. When my hair was shoulder to APL, it was too thick to do much with (ponytail, cheaters hairstick bun, messy bun which always fell out) because it was wider than it was long. Now that i have the length, I still can't do anything. Yes, it looks nice in pictures, but that's about it.

Has anyone gone through this? I want to have long hair, but this is ridiculous. All the women in my family with this problem simply cut their hair short after reaching shoulder length, so no help there. Any tips, advice, etc?

[Amber_Maiden]

Yep. I have very thick hair, very close to 6in circumference. My hair is extremely heavy. When I was a teenager I would cut it just because of the weight. I have found, though, with growing it long, that it feels better than when it was short. I can't do buns either, my hair is too thick. I do top knots though, and that seems to work for me. I have a thread I started yesterday about it.

I feel your pain. Seriously, I've been there. I used to get headaches because of the weight of my hair. It's something I just had to deal with if i wanted to grow it long, and now it seems to be a bit better.

[jacqueline101]

I know your pain I used to have thick hair and it would pull my head I'd have head aches as its been said the longer my hair got the less it seems to pull. I'm at arm pit length and I'm loving it. For once I'm loving it and I'm looking forward to bra strap length. Someday to my ultimate goal tail bone length and I wouldn't cut my hair to please anyone. My point being if you want long hair let it grow other wise you could end up with remorse. The pull might go away when it grows longer.

[Madora]

The secret to wearing thick hair comfortably is to section it.

I had very thick, long hair when I was younger and used 3 inch crimped hairpins to secure my sectioned hairstyles.

Bobby pins are meant for very short hairs, not for anything longer than 2 inches at most.

If your hair is not accustomed to being drawn in another direction, then your scalp is going to hurt. Time and patience will eventually overcome this hurt scalp syndrome.

However, if you find that the weight of your hair is just too much, then cutting back might be more appealing.

[Anje]

Have you tried using Amish hairpins? Bobby pins don't hold buns well, and they tend to pull. (In advance, you use Amish pins and all U-shaped hairpins oriented like little hairforks. They don't do well if you try to catch hair between the tines as though they were bobby pins.)

Ever tried putting your bun directly on top of your head, so the weight is supported by the top of your head instead of by the hair roots? My roots complain when I do this, but if you do it regularly you'll have them trained not to before long, and weight distribution will be less of a problem.

[honeyblonde]

Have you tried wearing it half up, half down? That might help.

[coffinhert]

Also have you considered an undercut? Where you cut the bottom layer much shorter or even buzz the bottom back of your head?

[AnimaSola3o4]

Have you ever had your hair thinned out using thinning shears?? I used to have to have this done as my hair was insanely thick.... but as I've gotten older it's thinned out naturally.

I would suggest having it done before you do anything drastic. The undercut isn't a bad idea either. I remember reading in that thread that someone has had success with putting little shaved strips on their scalp (which are hidden when hair is down or put up), another possible idea?

HTH!

[2peasinapod]

Thanks for all the replies. Unfortunately, I don't think the pull will go away with length. In fact, it keeps getting worse.

I tried a topknot once, but again it hurt too much. Once, before I showered, I put my hair up in two buns on top of my head. One side I put up with an elastic, combed out really neat, twisted, and secured with a comfy scrunchie. The other side I put up in an elastic and just used a claw clip to secure. They were both so painful I couldn't stand it bu the time I got out. If you say it gets better, 'll try it. Now that I think about it, my roots used to complain when I put my hair up or french braided, but not anymore. But, that was a different kind of pain.

I'm quite used to half ups. While I like them, and it's the only way sticks every hold, sometimes I do need all of my hair up. Especially when I do things like dance or yoga, it would be really nice to have it all up and off my neck.

I'm not thinking of anything drastic like thinning of shaving. I've done both. The maintenance was annoying, and the grow out was horrendous. After APL is when I started to have the problem of hairtoys falling out and clips coming open, so no further than that, but I just want to be able to do things with my hair.

I haven't tried Amish pins yet. In fact, I didn't know you weren't supposed to use bobby pins for longer hair. All the tutorials I saw did, but they also had much finer hair. I'm thinking about getting spin pins. but I'm a little nervous because so far everything I've found that holds hurts. I guess that's what the swap board is for, though. One of these days, I'm going to have a big post with all the things that don't work (so, a lot ).

I'm also thinking of getting a hairagaimi or a qwikbun to help distribute the weight of my hair more evenly. Any thoughts or experiences?

Thanks again for your replies!

[katsrevenge]

Hmmmm... you might just be tender headed. I'm that way a little bit. When I first do a particular hair style (say a french braid) after not doing it for a long time my scalp will ache.

I'm thinking you are worse off then I though.. For me, just taking an aspirin if needed and dealing with it for the first few times I do a particular thing gets me through it. Have you tried 'toughing' your scalp up? It sounds silly, but it helps. Just play with, tug and move your hair around randomly in the day. Nothing says you have to keep the same hairstyle in all day either. Switch it up, handle and tug (gently) and get your scalp more used to the hair moving. It helped me some.

That's all I can suggest. :/

As for your sticks and forks falling out.. I'd a much easier time with those when my hair was longer then BSL. BSL for me was a million low ponytails and peacock twists.

More hair to work with means they hold better. Now most of my hair is at waist I can do more.

Although. Amish hairpins or spin pins. Those things are really great! Bobbies are just for short hair or decoration.