What's your hair story?

[crowhands]

Hey all! My story's a bit of an atypical one, so I thought I'd share!
I'm lucky to have grown up in a very progressive household, and had a parent who never really worried about the gender conformity of her children- my hair was always a little on the longer side, a wild curly dirty scrappy mess, if you ask me! I wore it in a ponytail or braid all the way up until I turned 12 years old, and cut it ALL off, down to this little air cadets 'do that was parted on the side, embarrassingly short. I hated it so much, and ended up keeping it at a fluffy short length until I turned 16, usually dyed a wacky colour over those years. My short hair was red, then blue, then purple, then pastel green, then pink, then denim blue... you get the picture. It never really got horribly damaged, but I had started to really think about who I was as an edgy punky 16 year old, and realized that what I actually wanted to look like and feel like wasn't really what I had going on. I cut my hair off to about an inch, let that grow, cut it again, and since late 2016 I've been growing it out to where it is now. I'm 19 (brand new adult wahoo!) and I've got 24 inches of virgin hair, which I'm immensely proud of. I feel so good with my hair the way it is- it can be masculine or feminine, or right in the middle, depending on how I feel! It's such a great thing to have long hair, and I've never felt better about myself than I have with a big, thick head of hair.

[Offie]

Fun to read everybody's stories!

I have considered my hair my enemy for most of my life. My story is trying to accept that what is on my head is part of me.That means a lot of hate, years of putting it in a ponytail and pretending it doesn't exist, etc.
My issue is that now that I try o like it I suddenly care and it makes it more frustrating all that I hate about it.
Most days I'd rather go back to a time when my own hair and other' people's did not attract my attention AT ALL. It was ignorance as bliss. Now I see color tones, levels, textures, etc, on others, and am all the more saddened with what I have.

I'll see where the story goes...

Good luck to all of you!

[bokeh]

Fun to read everybody's stories!

I have considered my hair my enemy for most of my life. My story is trying to accept that what is on my head is part of me.That means a lot of hate, years of putting it in a ponytail and pretending it doesn't exist, etc.
My issue is that now that I try o like it I suddenly care and it makes it more frustrating all that I hate about it.
Most days I'd rather go back to a time when my own hair and other' people's did not attract my attention AT ALL. It was ignorance as bliss. Now I see color tones, levels, textures, etc, on others, and am all the more saddened with what I have.

I'll see where the story goes...

Good luck to all of you!

Welcome Offie! I can relate to your post so much because I also hated my hair for most of my life too and I also was completely oblivious to other peoples hair. Now, I notice hair wherever I go and I have learned from that. I discovered that the most beautiful hair in many cases has not been abused by bleach, color, perms, heat tools, etc. The single best thing that most of us can do to or for our hair is simple to leave it alone! Then, I learned from this forum that long hair can often be easier and faster to care for than shorter hair. Wait... What! It's true! The thing that has made the biggest difference for me was the discovery that my coarse, wiry, unruly hair looks great in an updo and most importantly when I put it into a style where I can control it like a bun or simply pulling it back; suddenly I am in charge of my wild hair. Whoa! I'd like to leave you with one bit of advise and that is whatever you do make sure that you make decisions that please yourself. Don't worry about how anyone else thinks you should wear your hair. Wear it how you want and then you'll be headed in a good direction on your hair journey.

[Offie]

Welcome Offie! I can relate to your post so much because I also hated my hair for most of my life too and I also was completely oblivious to other peoples hair. Now, I notice hair wherever I go and I have learned from that. I discovered that the most beautiful hair in many cases has not been abused by bleach, color, perms, heat tools, etc. The single best thing that most of us can do to or for our hair is simple to leave it alone! Then, I learned from this forum that long hair can often be easier and faster to care for than shorter hair. Wait... What! It's true! The thing that has made the biggest difference for me was the discovery that my coarse, wiry, unruly hair looks great in an updo and most importantly when I put it into a style where I can control it like a bun or simply pulling it back; suddenly I am in charge of my wild hair. Whoa! I'd like to leave you with one bit of advise and that is whatever you do make sure that you make decisions that please yourself. Don't worry about how anyone else thinks you should wear your hair. Wear it how you want and then you'll be headed in a good direction on your hair journey.

Thanks for your reply! Interesting to read that you had a similar 'starting point'. And I have to completely agree with you, I came to the same conclusion - hair that is healthy is hair that is pretty! I don't know if now that I've touched hair color I'll be able to stand my dark ash brown ever again - even though my experience with said color has been a complete disaster, started by a hairdresser no less! - but I know I need to try and at the worst dye it one level difference but nor more; I NEVER want to damage my hair again, I have been feeling sooo bad and not confident since it's been bleach-destroyed, it's going to take years to fix, and of course I'm getting married this year. Suddenly pictures of my 'before' hair seem very nice and good even though it's the same boring color I've always had! THat's when I realize how true what you wrote is - leaving it alone and taking good care of it is the best solution for hair peace!

[bokeh]

and I've got 24 inches of virgin hair, which I'm immensely proud of. I feel so good with my hair the way it is- it can be masculine or feminine, or right in the middle, depending on how I feel! It's such a great thing to have long hair, and I've never felt better about myself than I have with a big, thick head of hair.

Good for you! It's wonderful to have hair that lets you feel like yourself. BTW I also have coarse thick hair and it's just a bit shorter than yours. Mine is totally grey though.

[bokeh]

of course I'm getting married this year.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I agree with you that it takes years to change our hair and to achieve our idea of 'perfect' but that doesn't mean that you can't look great all along your hair journey. I have no doubt that your hair will look beautiful for your special day. Maybe it would be fun to track your progress with photos every wedding anniversary.

[The Lizard Wife]

Hello! I've always, always wanted long princess hair, and I've always been very, very bad at it. But this time, I think it might actually work!

When I was younger my hair was always kept short because, my mom tells me repeatedly, I would twist it around my finger until it pulled out and I'd given myself a bald spot and it made her cry. Then for ages I think my hair meandered around somewhere between APL and BSL...with thick hair and a tender scalp, I couldn't ever get it too long (too heavy, didn't know any good ways to put it up, and frequent showers with water weight pulling down on the hair just made headaches worse). And because of dance recitals, we had to keep it just long enough to be able to corral, with infinite hairspray and bobby pins, into something you could call a bun. (This was very hard on everyone. My mother was used to average hair, which behaved, and could in fact be put up damp in a bun with nothing to secure it and it would stay up all day which I sort of understand in abstract theory but actually cannot fathom.) After I stopped dance I relished in cutting my hair short, though not quite to pixie length, which was how I discovered that my very straight hair at that exact length actually curls irresistibly away from my face in what can only be described as a matador hat. It was...something. I grew it out about to BSL again, got tired of not being able to do anything with my too-thick hair and the headaches and the fact that showers took 1-2 hours from start to having hair dry enough that it would, in fact, finish air-drying before bed. Cut it into a pixie, which was cute and flattering and much quicker to wash-n-go, but got sad that there was never anything cute to do with it (well, there might have been, but I've never styled in my life because that's effort) and also that my hair was not, in fact, long and luxurious and looked like a princess.

And then bff Katia_K got on LHC and started enabling me. Showing me all kinds of pretty hairstyles. And pretty hair toys. And telling me about all kinds of alternative hair-care methods that would fix the fact that 1) no dandruff shampoo would ever truly destroy the dry skin flakes that shed constantly off my itchy scalp and 2) no heavy-duty lots-of-oils dry-damaged-fried super-intense-repairing conditioner would weigh down my (actually perfectly healthy and quite strong) hair enough to make it stop looking and feeling like one of those old wolf or coyote pelts they let us pet as kids at the zoo. And by 2016, she won me over.

I transitioned recklessly by instantly going water-only, which did not work because either my hair doesn't like water-only, or because my water is way too hard, or a combo of both. I eventually settled on a sulfate-free shampoo and silicone-free conditioner and it's changed my life and been amazing ever since. My hair now behaves like what I expect hair to behave like, though still thick and with a mind of its own! Without cones, I can stretch washes! Without cones, my hair dries faster! Heck, I don't even care how long it takes my hair to dry or how heavy it gets in the shower if I only have to worry about getting it wet and shampooed and dried once a week or every two weeks! And I can put my hair up into a bun that will actually stay up with only a single piece of wood! ...and when my hair gets even longer than BSL, I'll actually be able to do it without having it so tight that it hurts me!

Basically I hope my story continues in figuring out long hair hacks and becoming a princess and never looking back because the longer my hair gets the easier it's going to be for me to take care of, ironically.

[sofetch]

I love this thread! Wow a lot of childhood themes here and mine starts the same way.

Disney princesses! My favourite was Ariel and I was obsessed with her hair. Looking back, my mum was so supportive - she paid for expensive shampoo to remove chlorine and a good brush, plus hours and hours of detangling over the years.

In my teens I had noticeable scoliosis and I believe I used my hair to hide this somewhat. I then had spinal surgery and cut it afterwards. I then went through a crazy hair colour phase for a few years - platinum blonde, pink, bright red..

Now in my late twenties, Ive had long hair again for about 7 years now and have been maintaining at waist length for most of this with my natural blonette.

[sofetch]

I love this thread! Wow a lot of childhood themes here and mine starts the same way.

Disney princesses! My favourite was Ariel and I was obsessed with her hair. Looking back, my mum was so supportive - she paid for expensive shampoo to remove chlorine and a good brush, plus hours and hours of detangling over the years.

In my teens I had noticeable scoliosis and I believe I used my hair to hide this somewhat. I then had spinal surgery and cut it afterwards. I then went through a crazy hair colour phase for a few years - platinum blonde, pink, bright red..

Now in my late twenties, Ive had long hair again for about 7 years now and have been maintaining at waist length for most of this with my natural blonette.

[Offie]

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I agree with you that it takes years to change our hair and to achieve our idea of 'perfect' but that doesn't mean that you can't look great all along your hair journey. I have no doubt that your hair will look beautiful for your special day. Maybe it would be fun to track your progress with photos every wedding anniversary.

Thanks!
Ohh, that sounds like a very fun idea, thank you!
I think ideas of 'perfect' are dangerous in every aspect of life... but indeed it can be good without perfect