pride and envy

[alxardnax]

A bit silly, perhaps (lots of this community is a bit silly). Not entirely pointless, because for everyone who has popped up to say why they disagree, there might be a change to her perspective. Maybe?



And no, it's not okay for anyone to be tossing out accusations or damnation. But just because she did so doesn't make it okay to reply in kind. This must be the teacher in me talking, but negative behavior seems to me a chance to model positive behavior in return.



And I realize I'm writing verbose replies, but that's because I want to be as clear as possible, since it seems from her first reply that brevity led to confusion.

I don't think there was anything unreasonable in what I said. I stated my opinion. I am a blunt person. This is a forum and a forum by definition is a meeting or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged. So yeah, you should expect it to get heated sometimes. However when people start running around in circles and not even addressing the original point and diverting it into a whole other issue like you have by critiquing me on my response (which I don't mean to attack you, I am just stating my honest opinion) it becomes pointless and needs to be brought back on point or dropped. So I kindly ask you to please stop addressing my behavior as I have not called her nasty names or very cruely tore her down. I understand we are all students and have things to learn from one another but I am no longer in grade school and am not fond of being treated like a child. I am sure this sounds incredibly rude but like I said I am just blunt and I don't mean it to be hurtful. I sometimes don't realize how strong my words come off so please take that into account.

Like I said I am sure this sounds horribly rude and attacking but I am just expressing how I feel.

[adiapalic]

Has it ever occured to you that hair drives one into a lot of sins and evil and harm to to us and those around? Of course, you'll say you just THINK, but thoughts are like burning coals, you can't hold them in your arms without getting burned.

Hair causes pride. And causes envy. Envy for those who have nicer hair, and also our own hair causes envy in souls of those around us.

Sure, it's cute to think sarcastic for a moment, but pride and envy really hurt souls.
That quote by ivana trump... "gorgeous hair is the best revenge" makes me think... hair cam be a weapon of revenge. That bad it can be, like a venomous snake. Makes it's poison sweet for the owner and bitter for the beholders.

Do you ever think of those things?

Hair does not drive us into sin or harmful behavior.

Hotdogs do not create gluttonous people, beer does not create an alcoholic, children do not create pedophiles.

Sure, the one wouldn't exist without the other. But to admonish something simply because its existence can lead to effects of bad human behavior is illogical and unreasonable.

Prohibition didn't do jack. People are accountable for their own behavior. Two kids fight over a red crayon... is it the red crayon's fault?

Everyone here has their own set of moral codes to which they ascribe--whether religious or personal; and I'm pretty sure condemning hair as a root of jealousy and envy is not a popular one.

[gossamer]

So I kindly ask you to please stop addressing my behavior as I have not called her nasty names or very cruely tore her down. I understand we are all students and have things to learn from one another but I consider life experiences my teacher. I am no longer in grade school and am not fond of being treated like a child.

I'm sorry, I didn't intend to talk down to you and I hope you'll accept my apology if my comments came across that way. I think out loud (in text here, I suppose) a lot and wanted to explain myself in clear, detailed terms. And honestly, I wanted to prevent the thread from becoming a trainwreck, not contribute to it becoming one. My apologies to you and the mods for heading it in that direction.

[alxardnax]

I'm sorry, I didn't intend to talk down to you and I hope you'll accept my apology if my comments came across that way. I think out loud (in text here, I suppose) a lot and wanted to explain myself in clear, detailed terms. And honestly, I wanted to prevent the thread from becoming a trainwreck, not contribute to it becoming one. My apologies to you and the mods for heading it in that direction.

Thank you and I can't stress enough that I don't mean what I say with any ill will, I just was expressing how I felt and sometimes I do so very strongly but I still feel that as long as I am not using abusive behavior that it is my right to do so and I appreciate you trying to use this as a chance to be positive and civil but I did not have intentions of making it anything other than that. So I am sorry if you felt that I was turning the discussion into a negative one.

[proo]

One person's success is everyone's success.

[Mesmerise]

Well hair is like anything else, but it's something we may have more control over than other aspects of our appearance.

While hair may cause pride and envy and whatever else, so can any other physical aspect. A woman who is naturally beautiful may feel pride when she walks down the street and people turn to stare at her, and she may also elicit feelings of envy in others .

So I don't see that singling out hair makes any sense here...it's just something that's easier to take control of (not to say it's EASY in all cases... but it's easier to change than your height, or your natural features or whatever).

[mallorykay13]

[Coffee Succubus]

I do not know about envy...
Anytime I see some lovely locks while I am out and about I make sure to compliment the person and tell them how much I admire their hair.


Pride? Pride comes from putting a lot of effort/nurturing into something you care about. Success and an audience is optional.
Things that pride can stem from:
- Your kids(if you have any) doing well in school. Or growing up to be great people in general.
- Pets. Taming down a feisty bird or snake. Teaching a dog new tricks and having them go through. Raising up a kitten.
- A finished product of a hobby. Proud of the results. Drawing, knitting, HAIR GROWTH, gardening, etc...
- Getting better at something.
There are just so many! And you don't need an audience for any of these listed, so is it really pride? I don't consider this a deadly sin unless you're nuts and let it go to your head and start to think you're better than everyone.

There is a "sin" I would like to add. One that I am guilty of: Vanity.
I strongly believe that hair is a vanity item. At least for me it is.
When I got out of the shower today and oiled my hair, I starting thinking.
Man, I shell out a fair bit of money for this mop of hair. Dye, oils, combs, hair toys, etc.
It's a pleasure when I look in the mirror and see my progress. And I love sitting in front of my.... Drumroll... VANITY MIRROR to braid it at night. (Tie in pride here?)
Though I am pretty sure even if I had short hair again, I would still be quite vain.

Because you know what? I like myself inside and outside.

On another note... I have a craving for cottage cheese or my habanero cheese thanks to this thread.


Thanks guys!

[teal]

Nothing can make you or I feel a certain way. If my friend has lovely curls (she does, I was admiring them last night!) I have a few options in my mind about how to react to them.
-I can decide I'm ugly because I don't have curls (negative).
-I can become jealous and try to put her down in some way (also negative).
-I can become proud that I have long hair and she doesn't. (arbitrary, petty, and also negative.)
OR
-I can compliment her! (positive)
-I can enjoy the fact that we're out together and we both have pretty hair (positive)
-I can take joy in the diversity of hair types, from her shiny brown curls to my thinner, light brown straight hair. (positive)

The point is, these are emotional choices I made because I am a conscious human being, capable of thinking through my emotions.

The emotions of envy, pride and vanity happen in our heads, not because of things external acting upon us. (Or because of what's on our heads. )

Exactly. Another person, his attributes and his actions are all beyond my control. My reactions to anything and everything are within my control. ETA: and if not within my control then within my responsibility, at least.

so you all basically say that vanity/pride/envy ARE HARMELESS?

Making an incendiary blanket accusation and then failing to stay logged on to discuss? Sounds to me like you're drifting dangerously close to trolling. I sincerely hope I'm wrong.

[Carolyn]

so you all basically say that vanity/pride/envy ARE HARMELESS?

Actually yes I do. I'm vain and prideful about some things, my hair being one of them. And I know I have some envy going on in a few parts of my life. But I don't think it's wrong. I think it's human nature. The important thing is how you (the collective you) acts upon vanity, pride, and envy. If I keep it to myself and don't do anything hurtful to another person in the name of my vanity, pride, or envy what is the big deal? I mean really, so what? I'm too concerned with things that are really important to me to think about if I'm vain, prideful or envious. It's a non issue with me.