Adult 18+

[gretchen_hair]

Justy, I have recently reported several posts as *not being pg 13* and the like. I just don't understand why a lot of these topics are posted and am surprised at how they somehow slip through the cracks and go on and on.

I find myself quickly perusing but I'm finding less and less about hair care and more and more about crazy nonsensical drama.

[Juneii]

I remember this too...

The main issue I have been noticing now isn't the 'adult' nature of the threads...it's the inflammatory nature of the threads! It seems like a lot of threads have been blowing up lately, and I'm not sure why. It's so different and makes me sad to see a normally great group of people with differing opinions tearing at each other. Really makes me have second thoughts about this place.

I still find the LHC to be very kind and tame in comparison to other forums I have read. I am sure most of us can pick out which threads are going to blow up with drama, so just avoid them. It's fun to read some of the drama that plays out but don't make any comments that will add fuel to the fire. It sure is tempting to put in our two cents in the heat of the moment but it's not worth hurting other people's feelings.
I am not sure if you have been around here long enough to see it or not Kaelee, but most of the members here are are really kind and considerate people. I definitely encourage you to not leave the LHC just because of a few rowdy discussions.


I think having an "adult only" sub-forum is a good idea especially if some of us have some questions that may be too inappropriate for the younger kids. But who is to say a 13 year old won't lie about their age to get in? And what if this forum may encourage more threads on sensitive subjects?

[ravenreed]

Just going to throw this out there- Movies like Forrest Gump got a PG-13 rating. In that movie are such adult topics as child abuse, drug use, stripping... The movie doesn't go into details, but then neither do most threads I see on LHC. Mostly I see discussions about a topic and not so much the lurid details.

[Kaelee]

I still find the LHC to be very kind and tame in comparison to other forums I have read. I am sure most of us can pick out which threads are going to blow up with drama, so just avoid them. It's fun to read some of the drama that plays out but don't make any comments that will add fuel to the fire. It sure is tempting to put in our two cents in the heat of the moment but it's not worth hurting other people's feelings.
I am not sure if you have been around here long enough to see it or not Kaelee, but most of the members here are are really kind and considerate people. I definitely encourage you to not leave the LHC just because of a few rowdy discussions.


I think having an "adult only" sub-forum is a good idea especially if some of us have some questions that may be too inappropriate for the younger kids. But who is to say a 13 year old won't lie about their age to get in? And what if this forum may encourage more threads on sensitive subjects?

Yea, I know, that's why those second thoughts didn't last very long. Even though people have differences of opinion, they are usually respectful (usually!) and that makes this place great! I really value the differences and I come here more for the community and advice than anything hair related anymore! I love LHC! One thread recently though did leave me considerably shocked at how it turned out.

Just going to throw this out there- Movies like Forrest Gump got a PG-13 rating. In that movie are such adult topics as child abuse, drug use, stripping... The movie doesn't go into details, but then neither do most threads I see on LHC. Mostly I see discussions about a topic and not so much the lurid details

Absolutely! The most TMI thread here I think is the menstrual cups thread...and that's in no way anything I would personally object to a young person seeing.

[McFearless]

The way I see it is if a 13 year old is going to learn about sex or brazillian waxes or being tricked by a married man(that is what happened- not some thread about encouraging being a mistress) or stripping(details on the harm it does to most)- LHC is the best place to get this information from. 13 year olds know much about sex from the most part, and all the topics listed in the OP have very good insight and are not a bad influence.

Also the new members have just as much to offer as the older members and should not have any respect based on who has been here the longest. I'd hate to see that kind of "noob bow down" mentality.

[getoffmyskittle]

I think all those topics are PG-13 as long as nobody goes into explicit details.

http://www.mpaa.org/ratings/what-each-rating-means

PG-13 — Parents Strongly Cautioned. Some Material May Be Inappropriate For Children Under 13. A PG-13 rating is a sterner warning by the Rating Board to parents to determine whether their children under age 13 should view the motion picture, as some material might not be suited for them. A PG-13 motion picture may go beyond the PG rating in theme, violence, nudity, sensuality, language, adult activities or other elements, but does not reach the restricted R category. The theme of the motion picture by itself will not result in a rating greater than PG-13, although depictions of activities related to a mature theme may result in a restricted rating for the motion picture. Any drug use will initially require at least a PG-13 rating. More than brief nudity will require at least a PG-13 rating, but such nudity in a PG-13 rated motion picture generally will not be sexually oriented. There may be depictions of violence in a PG-13 movie, but generally not both realistic and extreme or persistent violence. A motion picture’s single use of one of the harsher sexually-derived words, though only as an expletive, initially requires at least a PG-13 rating. More than one such expletive requires an R rating, as must even one of those words used in a sexual context. The Rating Board nevertheless may rate such a motion picture PG-13 if, based on a special vote by a two-thirds majority, the Raters feel that most American parents would believe that a PG-13 rating is appropriate because of the context or manner in which the words are used or because the use of those words in the motion picture is inconspicuous.

Obviously, a lot of it doesn't apply considering this board is mostly text, but the biggest difference between PG-13 and R is not theme but level of detail.

[manderly]

Also the new members have just as much to offer as the older members and should not have any respect based on who has been here the longest. I'd hate to see that kind of "noob bow down" mentality.

I did not say that new members have no or less value than an older member. I specifically said:

I would also love to have some of the newer members be reminded of the forum rules, as well as have a little more respect when an older member steps in to remind them of them.

What I mean is, I've been around the block. I've received my fair share of modslaps. I've even had a mini-ban. When an older member pops in to gently remind a newer member about forum rules, maybe the newer member should stop and take note that an older member may have some insight.

I don't think there has been a time when an older member has told a newer member that their opinions or their hair care tips do not matter. No, I think the problem exists when we try to let someone know "how things work around here". We're not doing it to be jerks, we're trying to help save someone from the same fate we or others have shared in the past, and we remember some of the growing pains and large board-wide drama that's gone down in the past.

So yes, when you see a member pop in and has multiple years and posts under their belt and they say "hey, just want to let you know this is against board rules", don't be a jerk and tell the "old fogey" that you can do what you want. Take a minute, humble yourself, and accept that someone is trying to save you from being scolded by a mod or getting yourself into deep doo-doo.

[justgreen]

I did not say that new members have no or less value than an older member. I specifically said:



What I mean is, I've been around the block. I've received my fair share of modslaps. I've even had a mini-ban. When an older member pops in to gently remind a newer member about forum rules, maybe the newer member should stop and take note that an older member may have some insight.

I don't think there has been a time when an older member has told a newer member that their opinions or their hair care tips do not matter. No, I think the problem exists when we try to let someone know "how things work around here". We're not doing it to be jerks, we're trying to help save someone from the same fate we or others have shared in the past, and we remember some of the growing pains and large board-wide drama that's gone down in the past.

So yes, when you see a member pop in and has multiple years and posts under their belt and they say "hey, just want to let you know this is against board rules", don't be a jerk and tell the "old fogey" that you can do what you want. Take a minute, humble yourself, and accept that someone is trying to save you from being scolded by a mod or getting yourself into deep doo-doo.

Another one here with multiple mod-slaps, one time just for a silly tag. I can't say for sure that I know what's going on behind the curtain, but I'm fairly safe in saying it's bare bones behind there and that a lot of 'noob' stuff is not getting caught and I think that makes them (the noobs) think we don't know what we are talking about . And I'm sorry but to me if you haven't been here at least a year and posting regularly, you are a noobie in my eyes. Still an LHC member for sure, but not all the way around the block yet. My two cents worth , and like I told someone new, I'm not apologising for that.

I sure wish we hadn't crashed years back. I miss the archives.

[Delila]

... should not have any respect based on who has been here the longest...

I think we should all show each other respect and courtesy, regardless of our length of time on the boards. Length of membership really doesn't indicate much to me. I've seen some really unhelpful, passive-aggressive attitudes from newbies and long-timers, and I have to wonder why people make the effort to spread such stuff.

Behavior and attitude DO matter, they're pretty much all we have since we're limited to text on a screen and the general assumption that forum members aren't just playing mind games.

Wandering the forum with a chip on your shoulder is a sure way to stir up trouble, newbie or not. I think if people want to change the tone of the boards for the better, ditching that behavior pattern might be one good place to start.

If someone makes the time to spell something out, there's usually good reason, based in experiences in life or on this forum.

There's no reason newbies should hold back from mentioning that yes, the rules here do get enforced, but I think a lot of times people are reluctant to speak up, for whatever reasons, newbies or not.

I think there are basically two types of members. Those who are reluctant to speak up, and those who aren't.

Trouble comes when someone who's reluctant to say anything actually works up the nerve, then feels misunderstood or dismissed.

Whether the topic is haircare or personal things or the forum guidelines, some people are just less inhibited about speaking up when there's a topic under discussion that they feel comfortable chatting about IRL. Sometimes people have a heartfelt need to share their experiences, and it's my experience that sometimes this doesn't go over well with those who feel less connected to the subject.

When the subject is forum guidelines, the uninhibited tend to be members who've had some experience trying to figure things out, whether or not their learning curve ever resulted in any kind of attention from the moderators, or caught the attention of the community.

People who won't take a hint tend to wind up having more trouble than the less resistant, and either they stick around and figure it out, or they don't stay, voluntarily or otherwise.

I'm not interested in an 18+ board or a guru-only board (that issue comes up over and over too). Neither one is necessary, and I think they're each prone to their own specific troubles that would just make more work for the mods, more stress for the community, and might change the atmosphere here even more.

I'm not sure of the wisdom of isolating yourself on the blogs, either, the way some people do.

[woolyleprechaun]

I agree that it would be nice to have a specific place to air the more *ahem* adult issues that crop up......But as its already been mentioned by wiser folk than myself, it attracts unwanted attention for all the wrong reasons. As a mother myself (admittedly my kids are too young to be dealing with the internet unsupported) I would go as far as to say that the majority of stuff that crops up in the most unexpected places are not suitable for minors, and thats EVERYWHERE, not just the LHC. Even news pages have articles that appear willy nilly, which are nothing short of x-rated ('How to know if Hes Happy in Bed'....'Considering Being Unfaithful?' 'Spice things up in Pregnancy' are recent ones that spring to mind) So I'd say its quite a widespread problem IMHO.