Unbrush? (Also HELP; everything in the entire world gives me breakage apparently)

[aloewurly]

Im sorry if this suggestion isn't helpful, but have you ever tried detangling damp hair with leave in conditioner on? One of my cousins has baby fine, tangle prone hair and its less damaging for her despite going against conventional wisdom. I would be extremely patient and gentle though, so you dont stretch/break hair.

[H.e.L]

Im sorry if this suggestion isn't helpful, but have you ever tried detangling damp hair with leave in conditioner on? One of my cousins has baby fine, tangle prone hair and its less damaging for her despite going against conventional wisdom. I would be extremely patient and gentle though, so you dont stretch/break hair.

Not at all! I appreciate any suggestions people offer me. I asked for help, after all.

Unfortunately, it seems that when I pull too much when it's wet my hair follows conventional wisdom and (wait for it...) it breaks/falls out. In that way at least, my hair is very predictable haha.

I try to not pull on my hair whatsoever in the shower, I kinda "smoosh" the water into the scalp hair to get it soaked, smoosh the shampoo into soppingly wet hair (without pulling at all), rinse and smoosh to get the soap out.

Maybe next time it's tangled I'll mix myself up a DIY detangling spray though, I'll try it out and see if it helps.

Thank you!

[ETJ CURLS]

Have you tried any strengthening treatments?

[H.e.L]

Have you tried any strengthening treatments?

Only the DIY kind (like egg, honey, & yogurt or gelatin masks.)

Do you have any suggestions for brand/type? I live about an hour from the nearest Sally Beauty so I like to know what I'm looking for before I make the trek (I have 3 kids under 10 and we homeschool, so not a lot of time to peruse the beauty store/salon, hahaha.)

[Lady Stardust]

I sympathise, H.e.L, because my hair breaks easily too. It used to break especially easily close to my face, but that has all but stopped since I started using babassu oil pre wash. I use it right up to the roots at the front, and at the nape, because those are the problem areas for me, and roughly from the ears down for the rest of my hair.

I love babassu oil because it penetrates the hair shaft and protects it while it’s washed. It works in the same way as coconut oil, but it doesn’t give the crunchiness and build up that some people experience with coconut oil. I think that slip and and flexibility have improved since I’ve been using it. The breakage used to start around ear level, but now the shortest part of my hair is at collarbone and there’s no breakage.

Pre oiling with any type of oil helps with protection, but I think the penetrating oils are especially beneficial. It might be worth looking into that, depending on what kind of oil you’re using at the moment?

The other key thing for me is using gentle shampoo, and products that don’t build up so I don’t need to use anything harsh to remove them. I love Giovanni Smooth As Silk shampoo and conditioner, but the shampoo isn’t quite enough for every wash so I also use Giovanni 50:50 Shampoo if I feel that my scalp needs something extra.

I detangle my hair while it has conditioner in, and if I keep it in a bun during the day, I barely need to detangle any other time. I just run my fingers through it. This is a new thing though since I cut out the last of the damage. My hair is only between APL and MBL so I don’t know if this will last as my hair grows longer.

I also use leave in conditioner when my hair is soaking wet after washing, to help to keep it hydrated.

I had problems with ferritin levels in recent years and that has probably contributed to my hair breaking more easily. It’s worth having a blood test to check vitamin levels, and iron and thyroid, if you haven’t done that already, as an imbalance can cause the hair to be brittle.

I’m being meticulous at the moment about covering my hair when I’m out, or at least making sure it’s contained. All of these things help, especially those weakest hairs of mine.

[Rainbouu]

Only the DIY kind (like egg, honey, yogurt or gelatin masks.)

Do you have any suggestions for brand/type? I live about an hour from the nearest Sally Beauty so I like to know what I'm looking for before I make the trek (I have 3 kids under 10 and we homeschool, so not a lot of time to peruse the beauty store/salon, hahaha.)

I love the whole garnier fructis line, though I haven't actually tried their bond building line, I've been looking for other people's feedback on it. It seems promising, and affordable too. I've tried olaplex too, on unbleached hair, and it made my hair feel quite nice although I don't know if it's night and day for me. My own holy grail brand is The Mane Choice, a small dab of most of their products labeled protect or repair make my hair seriously beautiful without weighing it down, and the ends feel stronger. I find they last me a long time too. Their Ancient Egyptian line is all about preventing and baying split ends, and it's great if you love herbal haircare as all of their ingredients are naturally derived. (I know that's a bit gimmicky but their products really are wonderful imo). My personal favorite is the cream oil heavenly halo soy milk leave in from them.

[H.e.L]

@Lady Stardust

On babassu oil:
OOH great suggestion, thank you!
I've never considered using babassu oil! I guess it looks so much like coconut oil I just unconsciously assumed that wouldn't work for me (coconut oil is obviously WAY too heavy/"sticky" for my hair, no shock there.) But I've been looking for a good "detangling/leave in oil" as many oils cause too much lingering "pull" on my strands and causes me to rip/yank hairs out due to the "drag" left on the hair strands.
I'll happily give babassu oil a shot, pre and post shower. And thanks again!

On wet, conditioned detangling:
I'm a little paranoid about detangling damp, even with conditioner, as my hair gets snapped or pulled right out of my scalp REAAALLLY easily post-shower. I'll try it for science, but I gotta admit I'm dubious. (I usually wait to detangle until it's 90% dry or bone dry, for best results.)
I'm also ordering a Wet Brush "Fine & Thin Hair" detangling comb. So maybe I'll detangle with that, wet & highly conditioned, once or twice when I get that comb and see if it's gentle enough to make wet/lubricated detangling work for me.

On anemia/low ferritin:
Now that you mention it, in the past, blood tests have shown that I have normal range ferritin (specifically on the low end of normal, but within tolerance.) However, my hemoglobin is naturally rather low. (Basically I just don't have enough red blood cells in my blood.)
Would that cause the same hair issues as too-low ferritin, do you think?

[Lady Stardust]

I use a Tangle Teezer (the one with my handle) on my daughter’s hair and it does pull a load out. She has thick, dense, hair though and the proportion of hair she looses is small. I don’t use it myself, but I have much less hair so I can detangle with my fingers. On my daughter’s hair, it helps to rinse the conditioner and reapply it, so there’s more water in there, it seems to add slip.

Maybe wet/damp detangling doesn’t suit you though. It seems that most people get on better with dry detangling, but I’m not one of them. You know your hair best!

I don’t know about the haemoglobin count and how it would affect your hair, but it could be worth looking into?

[H.e.L]

I love the whole garnier fructis line, though I haven't actually tried their bond building line, I've been looking for other people's feedback on it. It seems promising, and affordable too. I've tried olaplex too, on unbleached hair, and it made my hair feel quite nice although I don't know if it's night and day for me. My own holy grail brand is The Mane Choice, a small dab of most of their products labeled protect or repair make my hair seriously beautiful without weighing it down, and the ends feel stronger. I find they last me a long time too. Their Ancient Egyptian line is all about preventing and baying split ends, and it's great if you love herbal haircare as all of their ingredients are naturally derived. (I know that's a bit gimmicky but their products really are wonderful imo). My personal favorite is the cream oil heavenly halo soy milk leave in from them.

Those look awesome! I'll put the Ancient Egyptian treatment mask on my list for when I run out of the desert essence one I've been trying out. Thank you!

[ETJ CURLS]

I definitely think it's worth looking into the low haemoglobin issue! It might be helpful to work with a nutritionist to make sure your diet isn't lacking anything that would be contributing to your hair health.

As far as strengthening treatments, incorporating a protein rich (usually advertised as "strengthening" vs "moisturising) mask or deep conditioner may help. I've only really tried olaplex myself, and had some good results, but that was on my bleached hair. Not sure how it would affect virgin hair, so please always do a strand test first with that or any new treatments.