"Lets insult non-longhair" threads...

[kimki]

I have to agree with you too Pegs. I don't had a lot to add as I think both you and Franny said it well.

I just think we should live and let live. At the end of the day, everyone is different and that's what makes the world interesting. IMHO.

[Sian100]

It really isn't fair and it makes us look like a big cult where no sulfates no cones no flatirons no dye is the only way to be and anyone else is not one of us.

Oh, I know what kind of comments you mean. As a bottle blonde, I have been well aware of it. I don't take those kind of comments personally though. I just think they're rather pathetic. Women generally are bitchy in some way. Even I am bitchy, though not about hair, and usually only if someone has been nasty to me first. Then I never forget. That's why those "celebrities with curves", "pictures of some non-entity on the beach with cellulite which is only visible due to an extremely unflattering camera angle", and "look at how such-and-such has piled on the pounds" features are good at selling women's magazines (which I don't read). Women tend to like criticising other women in other to make themselves feel better.

The way I look at it is that people don't realise that they are so transparently trying to make themselves feel better, or justify some hair routine to themselves, and that this is blindingly obvious to others. If you look at it this way. then it becomes quite funny in a way.

Milena- Yes, superiority is the best word for it.

[eresh]

I haven't seen any hateful threads...
Which do you mean?

The recent one about getting mad when seeing uncared for longhair? That's someones personal opinion or feeling.
That topicstarter has as much right to post as anyone else on the forum. Some people felt the same, some didn't.
People will always disagree and feel different about things, that's what makes a forum diverse and interesting to read.
If you feel angry about a topic or post on the forum you can always report it right?
Starting a rant thread about what others post is a bit much in my opinion.

[freznow]

To be honest.. I have NO idea what kind of threads you are talking about. I guess I just skip over them *shrug*


Why haven't you reported them? Mods will look at it then if it is getting out of hand.

Ditto. I see a few posts here and there, but they typically get lost in the sea of answers because they are not worth reply. If they get out of hand, report them.

[Pegasus Marsters]

I haven't seen any hateful threads...
Which do you mean?

The recent one about getting mad when seeing uncared for longhair? That's someones personal opinion or feeling.
That topicstarter has as much right to post as anyone else on the forum. Some people felt the same, some didn't.
People will always disagree and feel different about things, that's what makes a forum diverse and interesting to read.
If you feel angry about a topic or post on the forum you can always report it right?
Starting a rant thread about what others post is a bit much in my opinion.

For a start this is a complaint thread, not a rant thread. I feel one of the best ways to address forum issues is to do it publicly so that others can have thier say.

Now, this thread has been spawned due to MANY MANY threads I have seen recently. Even some that didn't start aimed at insulting those who are "different" when it comes to hair care have turned into ones that are.

I DO report posts when I see ones I don't like, but really this has got to the point where reporting a few posts isn't going to cut it... I can't just keep reporting posts over and over just for more and more insulting threads to be made. It makes it a pointless process. However, by publicly expressing my dismay I hope that others will put forward their say and we will be able to progress on this.

ETA: I would go through and pick out posts and threads but I could never pick them all out and it would be VERY VERY unfair of me to pick out a few members and point at them like "THEY DID IT!" Kwim?

[Ursula]

When it comes to random strangers, and heavily processed/damaged long hair, while I respect the idea that how one keeps their hair is their choice, I also wonder if it is their choice - if they know LHC-style alternatives, or if they only know what they are told by a stylist who gets paid based on all the treatments they can convince people to have done.

Trying to find the line between respecting choice, knowing what you like, and knowing when and how to appropriately point people to things they may wind up valuing (such as knowing that the stylist and shampoo company isn't the sum total source of hair-care information in the world) is tricky.

For someone who is new here, in particular, learning to recognize the different effects that different hair care choices have can be a shock and revelation. You go through life, and hair is either long or short, and you may like a style or color, but you're almost blind to things like the effect of bleach on hair texture, or the way that ends tangles when there are a lot of splits. When you learn about these things, suddenly, you seem to see them everywhere, and it can be overwhelming. After a while, you get used to the new ideas, and it becomes less stressful, and less noticable.

Plus, while LHC tries to avoid (with varying success) the idae that there is "one true way" to care for hair, the rest of the world seems pretty tied to the idea that there is just one true way, with shampoo, expensive salon products, and controlled by a highly-paid stylist. Learning there are other ways to understand hair is one mental jump, learning that there isn't one true way is another jump, and they don't happen at the same time.

Which is a long ramble, I suppose, but I guess that is where I see these types of threads coming from.

[Sian100]

It's not something which is blindingly obvious, ladies; it's more about very subtle remarks now and again.

[Kirin]

I think the key here is wording. You will never stop people from voicing or posting their situations or experiences that are misaligned with their personal idioms. To expect such would be rediculous.

As stated earlier there is a large difference between "Ugh, how disgusting/filthy/horrific" and "Felt bad seeing a girl today....." and expressing your view of the situation.

However, not all of us at all times are completely in control of wording. Everyone's done it, just momentarily felt so strongly about something you use the most "apt" descriptors that come to mind. . . even if they aren't the kindest.

Most people on these forums, in fact, all I've met or posted with are pretty receptive to reminders that something might be stated harshly or could be phrased better. Treating things with respect usually works wonders.

[eadwine]

Ah I finally found the topic in question. I also said my opinion about it in there. It's just hair, and it's just a topic. Simply skip it, there will be more now and in the future on the forum that folks won't like; can't make everyone happy after all

[FrannyG]

Kirin, this is an insidious problem that's been going on for years here. I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrase "nature knows best" when it comes to hair colour. It's rarely if ever said as "my opinion is...."--it's usually made as a pronouncement, as though completely true and not open to debate. The same goes for trims and cones and so many other things here. Eventually one gets the idea that others consider one inferior for doing any of those things.

There is a definite air of self-righteousness here at times, and I really believe that every so often we need to be reminded of that.