upset

[Shanarana]

I'm sure your not as bad as you make yourself out to be...remember we are our worst critics and can be very hard on ourselves.

[xrosiex]

I'm sorry to read your feeling badly about yourself. But remember looks are only skin deep. Self image is so important it affects everything we do. Have you tryed reading any possitive thinking self help books? There's many of them to read. Try loving yourself. Really look in the mirror and tell your self your beatiful and you love you. Do it alot. You dont have to believe yourself. But it's possitive vibes that you need. Hugs and take care.

[Islandgrrl]

Goldenbrunette, I'm sorry you're feeling so badly about yourself.

If you don't like the way you are, then change the way you are. But first change the way you think. You and only you, have the power to change not only the way you think about yourself, but the way you look. Kirin is really right. Thinking negatively is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Choose one thing - just one small thing that you can change right now - today, and commit to changing it.

So if it's - I'm going to eat a healthful breakfast every day - write it down and do it. It takes planning and a little effort, but you really truly are worth it. At the end of the week, when you've had a healthful breakfast every day, congratulate yourself for your success and add another small thing that you can change. Every week or so (certainly not written in stone), add one small change to your life that will take you toward the positive outcome you desire. You CAN do it.

Everyone has self-doubts and insecurities. You are not, by any stretch of the imagination, alone! We're here for you!

[DecafJane]

I'm sorry that your mind is being so cruel to you right now, and I hope that you can come to love and respect yourself. I know that if you think about it, there would be any number of things that you can feel proud of yourself for doing, and many things that you do that are kind and loving that you don't have to do but you can feel happy about. You deserve to be happy with the person you are.

[spidermom]

Goldenbrunette, I'm sorry you're feeling so badly about yourself.

If you don't like the way you are, then change the way you are. But first change the way you think. You and only you, have the power to change not only the way you think about yourself, but the way you look. Kirin is really right. Thinking negatively is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Choose one thing - just one small thing that you can change right now - today, and commit to changing it.

So if it's - I'm going to eat a healthful breakfast every day - write it down and do it. It takes planning and a little effort, but you really truly are worth it. At the end of the week, when you've had a healthful breakfast every day, congratulate yourself for your success and add another small thing that you can change. Every week or so (certainly not written in stone), add one small change to your life that will take you toward the positive outcome you desire. You CAN do it.

Everyone has self-doubts and insecurities. You are not, by any stretch of the imagination, alone! We're here for you!

Islandgirl, I think you just changed my life. GoldenBrunette, let's do this!

[Gladtobemom]

How about a beauty treatment.

Whole body exfoliation, Deep moisture treatment on the hair, long soak in the tub, and maybe a manicure and pedicure.

Hmm, what does she need girls?

Brown sugar makes a great body scrub and it smells wonderful. It's a great scalp scrub too. I just get all wet in the shower, turn the water off and grab up little handfulls out of the bowl and go at it I do my scalp, my ears, my neck and EVERYWHERE.

Do you want more suggestions, or am I totally on the wrong track?

A spirit boost on top of some a baby step change . . . how does that sound?

[Anje]

I'm sorry you're feeling so low right now. Don't beat yourself up for being superficial -- I find when I get down, I often concentrate on more superficial qualities myself, and if you follow a similar pattern, you'll start feeling better about who you are as you feel better. You'll look better to yourself and others when you can become more confident.

Remind yourself that you are a bright, strong woman with a good sense of humor and a lot of character. You are clever and capable, and you can do just about anything if you feel strongly enough about it.

My recommendation: Go mix up an SMT (does wonders for many folks with dry hair, you can use treacle if you don't have honey on hand). Wet hair, apply the goop, wrap in a bag/cap and towel, and put a second towel around your neck to catch the drips. Go sit somewhere comfy and enjoy a cup of tea and a good book until the stuff in your hair dripping gets too annoying, then rinse it out and go back to your reading. Paint/varnish your toenails a fun color. Plan to do something moderately physical and a bit rewarding, like going for a walk, mowing the lawn, mending screens, etc, which will give you a sense of accomplishment. If you can, do something that helps someone else, like weeding for a neighbor, volunteering for a soup kitchen, tutoring a younger student, and so on -- few things lift the spirits long-term like helping other people (especially if they appreciate it).

[goldenbrunette]

Thankyou all very much for your kind words and advice, I have to go to work right now but I will be coming online later to have a better read. These comments mean a lot to me.

[Cinnamon.locks]

I know exactly how you feel goldenbrunette, but YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! don't let bad hair days and weight put you down my friend, believe me i often feel this way too, but i look in a mirror and remind myself that things will be different tomorrow. as other people suggested, take a few hours for yourself. buy that book you always wanted, get a spa treatment, get those expensive shoes or even buy that special pair of under things at Victoria's Secret you always wanted to buy but always thought it was too much, a new perfume, or simply go off to a nice, calm and beautiful place that relaxes and invigorates you. if you don't have the cash necessary then make a special conditioning treatment or several and simply take a day for yourself, i always call it that, a ME day, where i don't see anyone and i spend it with deep condish treatments, facial masks and my fave movies and music, i even cry myself to sleep and when i wake up things feel better. just forget about the bad or stressful things in life today, "say as Orphan Annie said, tomorrow is only a day away and tomorrow things will be better." and if you truly want to change something, then go buy a nice herbal essences temp color and condition alot, if you have the money then go have a day spa and forget the troubles, get a deep tissue massage and all the neat things found at a spa and remember YOU are special and sweet, beautiful and wonderful and for many you are the best friend there is.

Look at yourself, you are beautiful, no matter the weight, and i know that is a big issue, specially when there is a big event coming up soon. but forget that. if you can go to a day spa, do it, if you can gift a friend with that day spa beside you, and buy yourself a beautiful dress or some clothing you love, splurge a little on yourself and i promise after all that YOU time, you will feel better. you may not change your weight or other physical things but never believe you are ugly, you are always beautiful, no matter the size or the color of your hair or skin problems, you are the soulmate for someone out there and that someone is just waiting for you to appear in their life to pamper and love you.

Don't forget beauty is in the eye of the beholder and let me tell you, many think Hannah Montana and Eva Longoria are beautiful, but i see them as simple, pretty women. I think Nikki Blonski and Queen Latifah are so beautiful, and they are not skinny, they are nice, caring, loving women who are not the perfect model size 0, they are just like us, just with a whole lot more cash to spend. so just look at yourself, see the beautiful color of your eyes, how they sparkle and your smile, it must be so beautiful, your inteligence and caring nature, i bet you are a great friend and a wonderful daughter and you care about others so you are beautiful, perfect in your own way, so don't feel bad, we all have a few days a month when we feel the most ugly person in the world, but we pamper ourselves and take a few hours to look around and see how others see us, and then we smile and shrug off those sad feelings and simply do the best we can at the time and smile, remember a smile can make your day better and will always make someone elses day much better.



Hugs, BTW you can always PM me and we can talk, i'll be here for you if you need a friend.

[RedRose]

You poor darling, it sounds like everything has got on top of you.

I understand a little of how your feeling, your hair is something you can easily have some degree of control over and you are used to it making you feel beautiful, something you feel proud of, and you feel that now that has let you down. But don't give up! This forum is proof that, with some good habits, we can all have healthy, beautiful, long hair in time. The suggestions above that the others have made have been great, pamper yourself and pamper your hair, remind yourself that you are beautiful, but that beauty manifests itself it so many ways. The women who turn heads are not those who have the most symmetrical faces, but those with good posture and happiness in their faces - when they walk into the room people notice and see their beauty. Those who slouch in scowling do not turn heads, so walk tall, and smile!

As for your weight, that must be hard for you, but this is something that you can turn around with support from your friends and family and effort on your part. When a friend of mine was trying to lose weight, she started to do this: whenever she thought she was hungry, she drank a glass of water first before she began to eat. She says that some of the time when she thought she was hungry she was actually just thirsty, and that when she was hungry it helped her to eat less at once and therefore overall. And as a bonus her skin cleared up and started glowing from drinking all that water - gorgeous! Maybe that's something you'd like to try to see if it helps you?

If you get the chance tonight, pamper yourself silly! Do a treatment on your hair, maybe a face mask or do your nails and watch a favourite film - whatever make you feel good about yourself and feel that you are beautiful. And if you still feel nervous about this big family event, why don't you treat yourself to something new? A new lipgloss or earrings to wear, silly things like that can go a long way to making you feel better about yourself. I just got a new foundation (damn those spots) and feel so much better about going out and meeting new people now!

I hope you feel much more positive about yourself soon.
Take Care