Help me get in the right mindset for my haircut

[AchtungCurly]

Mini background - growing out a pixie, so my hair is really awkwardly layered. The longest is ~waist, the shortest is BSL. The problem is the BSL length layer has a lot of splits and needs cutting.

I have a coworker who just cut her midback length hair to just past her shoulders and it was a great decision for her and she loves it and it looks really good, but she's become almost militant that my hair and I will suffer if I don't take at least 7" off. Now I can (and do) stand up to her, but she's a bit relentless, and it's getting on my nerves.

My issue: I need more than just a little trim on the shorter layers to get my hair back in good condition. I know this, and until the coworker's haircut, I was okay with this.

But because she can't shut up about things, I just don't want to cut my hair at all. Immature of me? Absolutely. Have I discussed this with my therapist? For a long time. Does that change how I feel? Nope.

So please smack some sense into me, and remind me that cutting a few inches off is necessary and good. (And thank you for getting through all of this story, and responding to someone who lurks more than participates.)

[Lostsoule77]

Have you tried s&ding that layer, or is it beyond that point? If it is beyond that point then you really should get a trim/cut so that the splits don't travel up the length causing you to need more cut off. I know how people bugging you about something can make you want to do the opposite. I'm obstinate like that too. ;) It's silly to cut off your nose to spite your face though. If you do the trim your hair will both benefit from it as well as look better.

As far as your coworker. Tell her she is getting on your nerves. That it is your hair and you will do with it as YOU please and to mind her own business. Be as stern as you feel comfortable with. That and/or just put your hair up. All my coworkers used to tell me my hair was too long. That I should cut it. Not that it was in bad condition, that it was too long! I've started wearing it in buns instead of a braid and they no longer know how long it is and the comments have stopped. ;)

[Kelikea]

I'd say bun it and keep it up until you are sure what YOU want to do, and won't be influenced by her pestering. Look for pictures of haircuts that you like, on people with hair type similar to yours. I took a picture with me the last time I got my cut so that the hairdresser would know exactly what I wanted and there would be no question. But do it for you and what will make you happy, not just to get a coworker off your back. Maybe the search will free your mind a bit to decide what you want. Good luck.

[Micayla47]

i agree with Lostsoul77. i would try s&d and if necessary get a small trim, maybe 1 or 2 inches, not 7.

[lapushka]

I agree with Lostsoule77 as well. Try and S&D that layer first, if it's beyond that, I'd get the trim. Be very specific at the hairdresser's, and say you only want the layer trimmed (and maybe the back, IDK).

Try and block out the annoying co-worker. She has nothing to do with this, and if she does notice, then tell her it's not because of her insistent nagging, but that you had a trim because you wanted to.

[juliaxena]

I wonder if in a way your coworker is not happy with her decision and has hair envy (of your hair). But really, it is just hair (sorry for such blasphemous words, but it is not like you are deciding to get married or have a baby of move half way across the world) and the decision shouldn't be so hard and you should not let your coworker influence you that much (or at all). Take a look at your hair and decide if you need a trim and do it if you need it.

[kitekats]

Go with microtrimming;)

[AchtungCurly]

Thanks everyone. It's definitely past s&d, and I need professional intervention. Luckily, my stylist says she's living out all her long hair fantasies out through me, so I don't have nightmares that she'll take too much off. :)

Thanks for making me realize that it's okay to cut a few inches. Intellectually, I could grasp that I could do this without it being about the coworker, but somehow, it means more getting that advice from you, than from my therapist (she may know all about why I want long hair, but you guys have it, and therefore get me).

I've got some time before my appointment, so I'll be seeking out some pictures, and reminding myself coworker's hair = her, and my hair = me, and those are two separate things, no matter how much she tries to combine them.

[Madora]

If the damage is great, then trimming it is the way to go. Untreated damage just gets worse, and you don't want that.

Since your co-worker is being a nag about your hair, wear it up and then it won't be so noticeable.

It's YOUR hair and yours to do with as you please.