Dodging Cuts, Questions, and Bullies

[GrowingOut]

((This is long, I'm sorry. They're just pressing questions, and get a bit upsetting.))

How do these themes tie together?

The fact that I'm at the age where most girls cut their hair, showing how 'Mature' they are.

My hair is virgin at hip. I'm taking great care of it, and am waiting to get my first hair sticks.

Due to the fact I can't style it, from not knowing how, it's normally loose or braided. Here come the problems:

My mom, every few months, will tell me I need a trim. ((Then a few more months before trim.)) The last time, I went ~1 year. I'm not sure how to tell her not to trim my hair, as I'd rather avoid confrontation. ((Bless her she only cuts about a 1/2 inch, nothing noticeable.))

The next, are people I meet. Due to normally wearing my hair loose, they notice the length. Because of my age, I will get this question: "So, when will you donate to Locks of Love?" ((Notice, not if, WHEN. This always makes me a little angry.)) It makes me feel uncomfortable, because I feel as if I'm selfish if I tell them I don't plan to. I normally dodge and say, 'I'm still growing it to my goal, I'll decide when the time comes.'

Finally, Bullies. I haven't had any problems yet, except for a girl grabbing it in a fight. However, I'd rather not have someone get scissor happy near me. :C That's my biggest fear, and I hope to learn buns before I get back to school on Tuesday.

Can a fellow longhair help me with these problems? They just upset me a little, because I'm always told to donate. :c

[Long_hair_bear]

Tell them to donate their extra kidney and make sure they donate blood, plasma, and bone marrow. :)

[jeanniet]

You can't be that old--I'm guessing, of course, based on what you wrote. I'm surprised that you would be getting pressure to cut if you're under 40, or at least under 30.

Practice being assertive. "I don't need a trim." "I'm not cutting my hair, to donate it or otherwise." "Don't touch my hair." They can only make you feel badly if you allow it. It's your hair; if they want to grow out theirs and donate it, they're free to do so.

[sharonluvscats]

I HATE it when people tell me to donate my hair. I find it to be so very rude. RUDE in caps. Seriously. UGH. I would ask them when was the last time they donated something to charity? Or tell them you'd rather donate something life saving like you know blood.

If you're scared about bullies messing with your hair, just keep it in a bun at school. But what kind of kids these days would mess with your hair? Jeez.

[longNred]

Re: your mom... Talk to her, she's your mother. Come to some mutual agreement, respectfully. Maybe instead of pestering you to trim, the two of you could work on learning a few new fun hair styles to do with it for the new school year? This may help with the next two issues.

[browneyedsusan]

disclaimer--I'm not a longhair...yet. :D
My hormones must be running, because I've got all sorts of snarky responses:

1) Hair or bald as a cueball has nothing to do with maturity. There is no such thing as "too old for long hair".

2) Figure out how to style it if you want to. Styling it is nothing more than practice and persistance. You might not be the best bunner in the world, but you'll get better and will be able to make passable ones. If you don't want to mess with learning, then don't! It's your hair and yours alone.

3) what's driving Mom? Maybe she thinks she's helping you out? Just tell her "no thanks, it doesn't need it yet." change the subject fast! --get a couple of questions for her ready to go, so you're prepared. (Hard questions like "what do you think about X?" or "what do you think will happen with Y?")

4a) the answer is: "Ooo! that's a wonderful cause! I've heard about all of the good work they do. Did you know that I --pick one: a) volunteer at the homeless shelter b) donate blood whanever I'm able c) support X charity financially d) volunteer at my church/house of worship e) visit the senior center ... You should come with me!!! I'm going on x date. what time can I pick you up?

4b) alternate answer: "Ooo! that's a wonderful cause! I've heard about all of the good work they do. How many times have you donated?" :stirpot:

I just feel the snarkiness :rant:bubbling out of me. If any more good ones come on, I'll share.

Good luck!

[akilina]

Tell them to donate their extra kidney and make sure they donate blood, plasma, and bone marrow. :)
I love this comeback. I hope I get to use it someday!

[Madora]

How to bun:

1) Detangle all hair
2) Make a horizontal part from the top of the left ear around the back of the head to the top of the right ear
3) Take all the hair above the part, comb it out gently, then loosely braid it. Secure with hair friendly elastic band.
4) Coil the braid in a bun, securing with hairpins (not bobby pins) at the 4 directions (north/south/east/west). Tuck tassle under bun.
5) Take all the hair below the part, comb it out gently, braid it loosely.
6) Take braid and wind it around the bun already made. Tuck in tassle. Pin securely with crimped hairpins.

Voila: double braided bun. Can also be used with rope braids, cinnamon buns, twisted buns. You can also do the Cameo bun with this sectioning method.

Another suggestion: the lace crown braid. Video link here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPHEzUr5bWQ

Also see Torrin Paige's video tutorials on You Tube for updos galore.

Wearing your hair up protects it and draws less attention to it than having it loose.

And Locks of Love is not all its cracked up to be. Beware!

[Seeshami]

Sit down with your Mom and explain to her that you don't want it trimmed and why. Tell her it hurts your feelings when she asks about trimming it.

When people ask when your going to donate your hair ask them when they are going to give up a kidney. Yeah it is extreme and you could use your favorite pair of shoes or time to a volunteer program but for me my more sane and calm explanations and rebuttals are normally ignored.

When people tease me about cutting my hair off for me, I threaten to press assault charges. It makes them shut up and leave me alone a whole lot faster then "please don't that's not funny." I am also over dramatic so they expect it from me.

[Iolanthe13]

It is awfully rude of people to pressure you to donate, isn't it? A lot of people here, no doubt, have experienced this. I found a simple but assertive "Sorry, that's not in my plans currently" to be surprisingly effective when I had virgin hip-length hair in school. It's healthy and sane to be a little selfish sometimes, anyway!

You say you know how to braid - a braided bun is very simple to do, and more secure than a plain bun. Just coil the braid around its base, and add pins as you go until it feels like it won't move. I can secure mine with two large pins, but your hair is longer so you might need more. Hair forks are really useful, too, but if people are threatening to cut your hair, you might feel safer with pins as your updo will be harder to undo.

I hope this isn't getting you down too much. People probably make some of those comments because they're jealous of your beautiful hair; most of them will grow up, and things will get better for you.

[Kaelee]

Tell them to donate their extra kidney and make sure they donate blood, plasma, and bone marrow. :)

This! Don't feel bad about not donating your hair! THEY should feel bad for being presumptuous enough to ask that question!! I'd be angry too.

You could always tell them that most of the hair donated to Locks of Love gets thrown out (which is true- the vast majority of it is unusable and has to be thrown away.) and that you (and they) would be FAR better off donating actual money, with which they can buy the type and amount of hair that they need as well as cover other costs, then you are cutting off your painstakingly grown hair.

That is, if you feel gracious enough to give them some education after they ask the question they have no right to ask.

As for the trims, if your mom cuts off only 1/2" each time, that's awesome! Trims aren't a bad thing, if you need them. Maybe your mom is right (I don't know, I can't see your hair from here!) But trims aren't a bad thing. A lot of us trim (I'm currently in a once-a-month trim phase to get rid of layers that I don't want anymore.) So if you can trust your mom to take off only a little bit (and it sounds like you can!) then don't be afraid of the scissors! :)

Of course if you just don't WANT your hair trimmed, that's another story and that's fine too.

I'd suggest wearing your hair in a braid clipped up with a claw clip. It will protect your hair/ends more and keep it away from potential scissor-wielding schoolmates. :)

[Asprettyasme]

#error

#An error occurred.

[phantasmalkitty]

Locks of love does not give away the wigs they make for free. The children's parents do have to pay for those wigs, and they have to submit an application and letter of recommendation just for the privilege of buying a wig from them. Locks of love also sells more donated hair to other wig companies than they use to make wigs for children. Why would you give your hair to a company for free so that they can sell it?

Not that your classmates will be mature enough to understand any of that. But the good news is, once you're out of high school, you won't have to deal with this kind of crap as much. No adult in their right mind would threaten to cut somebody's hair without permission.

[battles]

For most of this, wearing it up would solve it. You can create a hair fork out of double pointed knitting needles if that would be easier to get. It seems that when you wear your hair up, people forget how long it is. :p

Definitely learn to style your hair. Try checking out hair style tutorials on youtube. I'd avoid those with teasing or lots of hairspray and products.

As for your mom,.. You could learn to self trim (http://feyeselftrim.livejournal.com/), or you could have a talk with her about it.

Overall, I agree that you need to be assertive. If someone comments, inform them that your hair is not up for discussion and change the subject. Ignore any further comments regarding your hair after that.

[auburntressed]

Finally, Bullies. I haven't had any problems yet, except for a girl grabbing it in a fight. However, I'd rather not have someone get scissor happy near me. :C That's my biggest fear, and I hope to learn buns before I get back to school on Tuesday.


When I was in highschool, I had a lot of people try to cut my hair. I had to stop wearing it down and even stop wearing it in a braid. The only way to deal with it was to wear it up all the time. The "adults" in my school did nothing to stop the scissor attempts. They thought it was hilarious and usually laughed when they saw someone come at me.

Learn buns, yes. Buns are your best friend if you are in school, and you are afraid someone may try to cut your hair.

Also - as wonderful as hairsticks are, DON'T WEAR THEM TO SCHOOL. Don't wear anything flashy or attention-getting in your hair when you are at school. I personally would recommend a braided bun with spin pins. That will hold like a rock, and it ought to keep your hair protected enough that you won't have to worry about bullies getting scissors and an idea in their head to start cutting.

Save the hairsticks and pretty hairtoys for dates, special occasions, practice at home, ect.

I know it may be hard to always have your hair looking plain and inaccessible, but you are at school to learn - not to look good. If you have to worry about your hair constantly; and having to protect your hair from attack causes anxiety, it will negatively affect your ability to learn.

[Dragon]

I don’t think it’s a good idea to use spin pins and other pins for school as I’d be worried about the damage it could do if they grabbed your hair near the scalp or grabbed your bun. Even though hair ties aren’t the most hair friendly thing to use, it’s probably the safest. I also think braided buns are a great idea. About your Mum, maybe learn to trim your own hair then you can tell her you don’t need her to do it anymore as you prefer doing it yourself.

[Jora]

Unsolicited advice is never good. It's YOUR HAIR. It's YOUR business.
NO ONE has the right to tell you what you should do with your hair, your body, your life!
Sorry but it just PEEVES me when people assume that others are inching for unsolicited advice.

[spirals]

Grabbing hair is assault. The school needs to be taken to task for not reacting to that. Where is the principal?

[Mya]

When I was in highschool, I had a lot of people try to cut my hair. I had to stop wearing it down and even stop wearing it in a braid. The only way to deal with it was to wear it up all the time. The "adults" in my school did nothing to stop the scissor attempts. They thought it was hilarious and usually laughed when they saw someone come at me.
How irresponsible. I wonder how certain spineless adults can work in places like schools. At least in some countries, cutting someone's hair against their will is punishable by law.

[auburntressed]

How irresponsible. I wonder how certain spineless adults can work in places like schools. At least in some countries, cutting someone's hair against their will is punishable by law.
Yes, but... Christian school + Late 90's. There wasn't the emphasis on "anti-bullying" that there are these days, and often religious schools have their own unique regulations about stuff. In mine, the atmosphere was more or less that the teacher had autonomy within the classroom until they sent a student to the office for bad behavior.

[kaydana]

Regarding the trims... half an inch every few months/year is not going to stop you growing your hair. Your mom is just trying to help you keep your hair looking nice while you grow it, if she had any other motive she'd hack off a lot more when trimming it.

Trims keep the ends of your hair in good condition, if your hair grows at a normal speed you'll get six inches of growth a year, you'd have to have it trimmed every month to keep it the same length. It sounds like it's happening a lot less, so you'll still be gaining length.

Your mom sounds like she's on your side, stop worrying about her and focus on dealing with the people who aren't.

[GrowingOut]

Tell them to donate their extra kidney and make sure they donate blood, plasma, and bone marrow. :)

Well I'm planning to donate blood the moment I'm old enough, so when I can I'll use that as an excuse.

[GrowingOut]

I HATE it when people tell me to donate my hair. I find it to be so very rude. RUDE in caps. Seriously. UGH. I would ask them when was the last time they donated something to charity? Or tell them you'd rather donate something life saving like you know blood.

If you're scared about bullies messing with your hair, just keep it in a bun at school. But what kind of kids these days would mess with your hair? Jeez.

A school with a lot of jerks.

And I'll try out some buns today. They all look pretty on you gals/guys, which is why I asked here.

[GrowingOut]

Re: your mom... Talk to her, she's your mother. Come to some mutual agreement, respectfully. Maybe instead of pestering you to trim, the two of you could work on learning a few new fun hair styles to do with it for the new school year? This may help with the next two issues.

Thank you! I might talk to her today.

[GrowingOut]

disclaimer--I'm not a longhair...yet. :D
My hormones must be running, because I've got all sorts of snarky responses:

1) Hair or bald as a cueball has nothing to do with maturity. There is no such thing as "too old for long hair".

2) Figure out how to style it if you want to. Styling it is nothing more than practice and persistance. You might not be the best bunner in the world, but you'll get better and will be able to make passable ones. If you don't want to mess with learning, then don't! It's your hair and yours alone.

3) what's driving Mom? Maybe she thinks she's helping you out? Just tell her "no thanks, it doesn't need it yet." change the subject fast! --get a couple of questions for her ready to go, so you're prepared. (Hard questions like "what do you think about X?" or "what do you think will happen with Y?")

4a) the answer is: "Ooo! that's a wonderful cause! I've heard about all of the good work they do. Did you know that I --pick one: a) volunteer at the homeless shelter b) donate blood whanever I'm able c) support X charity financially d) volunteer at my church/house of worship e) visit the senior center ... You should come with me!!! I'm going on x date. what time can I pick you up?

4b) alternate answer: "Ooo! that's a wonderful cause! I've heard about all of the good work they do. How many times have you donated?" :stirpot:

I just feel the snarkiness :rant:bubbling out of me. If any more good ones come on, I'll share.

Good luck!

I'll have to use the church one! Through them, I go to a homeless shelter and help with the food.

[GrowingOut]

How to bun:

1) Detangle all hair
2) Make a horizontal part from the top of the left ear around the back of the head to the top of the right ear
3) Take all the hair above the part, comb it out gently, then loosely braid it. Secure with hair friendly elastic band.
4) Coil the braid in a bun, securing with hairpins (not bobby pins) at the 4 directions (north/south/east/west). Tuck tassle under bun.
5) Take all the hair below the part, comb it out gently, braid it loosely.
6) Take braid and wind it around the bun already made. Tuck in tassle. Pin securely with crimped hairpins.

Voila: double braided bun. Can also be used with rope braids, cinnamon buns, twisted buns. You can also do the Cameo bun with this sectioning method.

Another suggestion: the lace crown braid. Video link here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPHEzUr5bWQ

Also see Torrin Paige's video tutorials on You Tube for updos galore.

Wearing your hair up protects it and draws less attention to it than having it loose.

And Locks of Love is not all its cracked up to be. Beware!

Thank you for the links. I'll try and practice today!

[GrowingOut]

Sit down with your Mom and explain to her that you don't want it trimmed and why. Tell her it hurts your feelings when she asks about trimming it.

When people ask when your going to donate your hair ask them when they are going to give up a kidney. Yeah it is extreme and you could use your favorite pair of shoes or time to a volunteer program but for me my more sane and calm explanations and rebuttals are normally ignored.

When people tease me about cutting my hair off for me, I threaten to press assault charges. It makes them shut up and leave me alone a whole lot faster then "please don't that's not funny." I am also over dramatic so they expect it from me.

No one's threatened me with a haircut at school yet, but I wouldn't put it past them.

That's why I'm asking now, better safe than sorry.

[lapushka]

Going to the articles section on this forum is a nifty little feature for you if you are wanting to learn about new styles and such. Have a browse around there.

About people wanting you to donate, or taking it for granted that you are going to. It's drilled into people due to the media, that donating is the nice and charitable thing to do. It wasn't so much in the media how Locks Of Love is actually not helping kids with cancer, like they made it seem to be. So people have essentially been brainwashed. I wouldn't hold it against them, but... It wouldn't hurt to become a little more assertive in that sense, although I like the fact that you'd rather answer politely so as not to ruffle any feathers.

[GrowingOut]

This! Don't feel bad about not donating your hair! THEY should feel bad for being presumptuous enough to ask that question!! I'd be angry too.

You could always tell them that most of the hair donated to Locks of Love gets thrown out (which is true- the vast majority of it is unusable and has to be thrown away.) and that you (and they) would be FAR better off donating actual money, with which they can buy the type and amount of hair that they need as well as cover other costs, then you are cutting off your painstakingly grown hair.

That is, if you feel gracious enough to give them some education after they ask the question they have no right to ask.

As for the trims, if your mom cuts off only 1/2" each time, that's awesome! Trims aren't a bad thing, if you need them. Maybe your mom is right (I don't know, I can't see your hair from here!) But trims aren't a bad thing. A lot of us trim (I'm currently in a once-a-month trim phase to get rid of layers that I don't want anymore.) So if you can trust your mom to take off only a little bit (and it sounds like you can!) then don't be afraid of the scissors! :)

Of course if you just don't WANT your hair trimmed, that's another story and that's fine too.

I'd suggest wearing your hair in a braid clipped up with a claw clip. It will protect your hair/ends more and keep it away from potential scissor-wielding schoolmates. :)

I try to tell them about that, but a lot of people don't listen.

And I might try the claw clip idea. Thank you!

[GrowingOut]

You need to learn how to do your own hair, I cannot stress that enough. I didn't know how to do my hair until I turned 18 and now I still don't know how to do it so I go to the salon. But I know how to put in my clip in extentions and I know how to look super cute and how to straighten my extentions. So I can leave out the house looking really cute now all on my own. Which is cool and freeing that I can do that now.

Your hair type is really easy to do, go watch some youtube videos on cute hairstyles, buns, and ponytails. Youtube is the best site for that because you can keep watching and keep practicing and its so many cute hairstyles to do for every day of the week. It will help you gain some independence with your hair.

People are probably saying donate it because to them they see you as not making use of your hair, you probably just wear it and don't even have fun with it. If you was wearing it cute and some upbeat styles they wouldn't say that to you, instead they would be to busy complimenting you on your amazing hair. I hear people say it all the time "oh that girl hair is super long! but it look so dead and boring on her, oo, she needs to cute it and donate it!" but when a girl has her hair looking so cute and rocking I hear "Oh look at her hair!! Its so cute! I want to grow my hair out that long!".

If your like me and just like wearing your hair straight down with no curl or nothing to it then people are going to say whatever they want to say about it and just be blunt and tell them your not going to donate. Don't be scared to say that, your not a bad person trust me, they have plenty of people donating their hair already. So don't worry. Don't cut your hair, love your hair. Those people are jealous.

Thanks for that.

I've been teaching myself to braid my hair, but it get's messy and i miss a piece. Practice makes perfect!

((Also, you have lovely hair!))

[GrowingOut]

Grabbing hair is assault. The school needs to be taken to task for not reacting to that. Where is the principal?

Incompetent. My sister was bullied, and nothing was done.

[heidi w.]

I wish these kind of people would just shut up. But they seem to think they're doing the right thing somehow.

Just the other day I had a chick at school tell me I would feel great if I donated my hair and helped the little kids. I wish she knew what I know because she'd then realize that adults are standing on these kids' shoulders and taking advantage of them.

I mumbled somewhat quietly under my breath about donating her own car or her own arm. I was PISSED. Cause she said what she said in front of a whole bunch of classmates and I didn't want to hear her anymore.

So loudly I said I would never do that. And walked away. Yep, walked away. Later I could be seen helping her on her powerpoint project.

She's a nice enough gal, but sadly uninformed. I don't donate to feel good about myself. I feel just fine about myself and I recommend the same to you. No need to get into physical confrontations over all this nonsense.

It's none of her business!
heidi w.

[sakuraemily]

Wow! High schools in India are like fantasy land compared to what you describe. The only probs people in my school faced were lack of attention from guys(and vice versa) and parents nagging about bad grades. And the usual body image issues.
Buns are really not all that difficult. Just go check out some YouTube videos on how to do them. Trust me. Things are so much easier than they look, even a total artistically impaired person like me was able to learn from them.
Also, the Luxy sisters have some good videos on different braids like 4-strand, 3-strand,etc. Even a neat french or dutch braid can improve things.

[sakuraemily]

Here are some links
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZEsf2uXzZU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nV2TQcVaVs&feature=relmfu

[veetee12]

I hate that so many people seem to try to force whatever they deem "right" onto others. Not necessarily an age thing either.

I have a lot of things that are not so commonplace where I live, i.e. I prefer organics, etc. which constantly triggers people to try to "educate" me. My hair growing out plans included.

Ergo, I have a VERY hard time staying nice about it, most of the time I do not respond at all. If it sounds sincere I may try to elaborate but most of the time the comments and issues are like yours.

So I cannot give you any better comebacks that have already been posted, but will tell you to learn quickly to just be above all this crap. I have learned the hard way, let people influence me and am still cleaning up that "mess" (ended up cutting my hair to shoulder length). You are YOU. You should only change anything about yourself if there is a good and valid reason for it, not because of some peoples' ideas.

[florenonite]

Also - as wonderful as hairsticks are, DON'T WEAR THEM TO SCHOOL. Don't wear anything flashy or attention-getting in your hair when you are at school. I personally would recommend a braided bun with spin pins. That will hold like a rock, and it ought to keep your hair protected enough that you won't have to worry about bullies getting scissors and an idea in their head to start cutting.


Not to mention that a lot of rather immature people find it tremendously amusing to pull the hairstick out :rolleyes:

[EtherealDoll]

It's always very weird for me to read about this donating-long-hair-thing. We don't have that where I live(maybe we do but nobody who I know have ever heard about it before), we have a few places where you can sell your hair to wigmakers.
It sounds like people are trying to force their views on you. Just tell them "no" or say your hair is magic and if you cut something horrible will happen :p a joke can lighten the mood and you can quickly change the subject.

About somebody grabbing your hair, well, that can happen to a person with shoulder length hair too if they wear their hair down, so the best solution to avoid it is to wear a protective hairstyle.

[GrowingOut]

It's always very weird for me to read about this donating-long-hair-thing. We don't have that where I live(maybe we do but nobody who I know have ever heard about it before), we have a few places where you can sell your hair to wigmakers.
It sounds like people are trying to force their views on you. Just tell them "no" or say your hair is magic and if you cut something horrible will happen :p a joke can lighten the mood and you can quickly change the subject.

About somebody grabbing your hair, well, that can happen to a person with shoulder length hair too if they wear their hair down, so the best solution to avoid it is to wear a protective hairstyle.

Here in The United States we have there "Organizations," That you can go and donate hair to, where they say they'll make wigs for sick children in need. ((:rolleyes: They throw most of it out, and there are a lot of hoops to jump through, making it hard for the children to get. Or they just sell it.)) The cut at the salon is normally free and to shoulder, if your hair is at least 10 inches.

And the jokes a good idea. I could reference "Tangled," to try and chnage the subject. Thank you!

[jeanniet]

Regarding the trims... half an inch every few months/year is not going to stop you growing your hair. Your mom is just trying to help you keep your hair looking nice while you grow it, if she had any other motive she'd hack off a lot more when trimming it.

Trims keep the ends of your hair in good condition, if your hair grows at a normal speed you'll get six inches of growth a year, you'd have to have it trimmed every month to keep it the same length. It sounds like it's happening a lot less, so you'll still be gaining length.

Your mom sounds like she's on your side, stop worrying about her and focus on dealing with the people who aren't.
sounds like the issue is more her mother telling/pressuring her to have a trim. Sometimes it's hard for moms of maturing children to let go of things like this--I know sometimes I have to consciously close my mouth and remember that they need to make their own decisions about their appearance. She doesn't have to be confrontative, but she can still assert that it's her choice when to get a trim.

[Nae]

Not to mention that a lot of rather immature people find it tremendously amusing to pull the hairstick out :rolleyes:

Well, my three-year-old niece finds that to be fantastic entertainment. Oh wait. I guess that proves your point. :rolleyes:

[clanless]

Tell them that LOL (locks of love) isn't a reliable charity and that synthetic hair is far cheaper and easier to work with anyway.

A good style is braid it and have it across one shoulder. I don't think anyone would think of cutting your hair because it's so nice looking. And don't get into a fight in the first place.

[PetuniaBlossom]

I have a pair of responses I've used when people ask me if/when I'm donating my hair to Locks of Love.
1. If the person is nice (and I'm not feeling snarky that day) I'll say, "If you'll forgive me for not answering your question, I'll forgive you for asking it."
2. If the person is a jerk I'll say, "Right after you do!"

(Actually, I did donate to Locks of Love once years ago before I found out what their actual practices are.)
:cheese:

[AutumnLocks]

I will be 51 years old in about a month. I guess I must have an aire of not wanting to be messed with because no one has ever asked me when I was going to donate my hair. There was a time in my life I would have said something to the affect of ...when a really hot place becomes covered in ice!! Now I think I would just say I'm not! I haven't had sissors in my hair in over two years and don't plan on it any time soon.

[lydiajo]

Just last week a woman asked me when I was going to donate my hair. This was in the grocery store and I didn't know her. I gave her my best horrified look and loudly said "that's a very personal question to ask someone you don't know". I think she got whip lash getting away and probably checked out because we didn't cross paths again. I am so snarky. Bad mommy, bad mommy. Oh wait dd wasn't with me.

[sharonluvscats]

Just last week a woman asked me when I was going to donate my hair. This was in the grocery store and I didn't know her. I gave her my best horrified look and loudly said "that's a very personal question to ask someone you don't know". I think she got whip lash getting away and probably checked out because we didn't cross paths again. I am so snarky. Bad mommy, bad mommy. Oh wait dd wasn't with me.

O_O I can't believe a stranger said that to you. I would have asked her when she was going to grow out and donate hers. How rude!

[jen5972]

I HATE the "you should donate your hair..." comment. And if you balk at it, they give you the guilt trip :(. Whenever people suggest I donate my hair, I usually just say that I love my hair, and do not want to cut it. I will also mention that Locks of Love is not reputable, and that most of the ponytails end up sold or in a box in a warehouse somewhere. They are usually pretty shocked at that!

Jen
Long hair albums: http://public.fotki.com/jen5972/
Youtube updo page: http://www.youtube.com/user/JenniferS42394/videos

[hermosamendoza]

I was never pressured to donate (probably because i used to color it a lot) but I was pressured to put layers in. Every time I would get those dumb layers grown out someone would comment on how ugly my hair was. My sister would always run her hand through my hair and say "you're hair is driving me nuts, you need some layers!"

You could also say in return "when are you donating your shoes and clothes to goodwill" and when they say oh i just got them or I like them I'll use them until they're worn out...especially if they are acting like you are selfish...say 'pity, there are people who needs your shoes more than you do.'

And about your mom I agree with asking her to sit down and helping you learn to style it (not heat style) but buns, braids, etc. You will find a lot on youtube.

[PossibleMermaid]

I have a feeling I'm in the minority here and my opinion might get me smote. (Smitten? Smited?) But this is the internet so I'm going to say it anyway:

As you get older, and this goes for everyone, different things are expected of you. It just makes sense, right? You're not expected to have a job in elementary school, but maybe in high school and probably in college. As you get older and are about to enter the work force, your appearance will probably be put under scrutiny more and more. Now I'm not saying to cut your hair or change who you are or what you like to get a job. Not that at all. All I'm saying is that as you get older, it might be to your advantage to learn to style your hair in more age-appropriate fashions in order to make it in the world. Obviously, I love long hair. And from your siggie your hair looks gorgeous and I'm not telling you to like, hide it or be ashamed of it or whatever. Just that there is a time and a place for everything. Now if these are just lame kids at school, screw them. They're dumb and obviously don't have any self confidence if they're picking on a sweet girl like yourself. But as you grow older, like I said, more important people will be paying attention to you and judging you. Show them that you totally ROCK your long hair. There are plenty of tutorials online for thousands of different styles. Do what makes you happy, of course, but keep in mind the context of the situation and the outcome it may have on your life. :)

[LisaButz2001]

I was told I should donate my hair the day after I cut it. Actually, the stylist did keep my ponytail for the local cancer society. I didn't find it especially rude, but the person has been a friend of mine for 20 years. Mind you, she also tried to coax me to cut it a lot shorter next time. That amused me, for the simple fact that, if I were going to cut it SHORT (as opposed to "short for me") I would have ages ago. Actually you could tell people that: if I were going to cut it SHORT (as opposed to "short for me") I would have ages ago. It gets the point across and unlike a fight or snarky comment-no detention or suspension.

The mother is a bit harder, since mine was against me cutting my hair, and that mirrored my own feelings.

Lastly: styles-you are very fortunate to be a child of the digital age. There are countless ways to learn new styles. Our message boards, blogs, You Tube, you can download books too. Search for the titles of good ones on Amazon or Barnes and Noble, then visit a site like mobile9.com. epubbud.com is good too. Google free e-pub books or ebook sharing sites.

[melusine963]

I echo Madora's recommendation of Torrin paige's Youtube videos. She has some tutorials for very basic buns and braids, as well as a lot more complicated stuff.

[Vrindi]

My mom would promise to just "trim" my hair and then 6 inches would disappear. She even bribed a hair stylist to chop my BSL hair to shoulder and razor in layers, when I told her I only wanted a trim of 1/2 an inch and a U-shaped hem. No one in my family is allowed near my hair with any kind of sharp object.

In middle school, I was bullied, and I went to a dangerous school. When one person came at my hair with scissors, I smacked his hand away so fast he nearly stabbed himself in the eye with the scissors. I also screamed really loudly and drew a lot of attention, and then continued to yell at him and threaten to call the cops if he ever tried to touch me again. People pretty much kept their distance after that.

Fortunately, right now, anti-bullying is a movement that is gaining a lot of publicity. If things are that bad at school, the media might be a good place to turn.

Also, I do not recommend violence. It should be avoided at all costs. But I have defended myself and will again if I should have to. Depending on how you feel at school, it might make you feel better to take up some kind of defense activity, like a martial art. Or anything that makes you feel stronger in some way. Track. Rock climbing. Ballerinas can kick like you would not believe. You might never have to kick anyone in the head (hopefully) or fight someone off, but knowing you could if you had to might give you enough of a confident air that no one would want to mess with you. Not only that, having some kind of sport or physical activity is so good for you, and might give you a strong support group of friends or team mates who will help you out.

Also, school is temporary. Do your best work and get out, move on to something else. In the meantime, try to enjoy yourself as much as possible. Learning new hairstyles can be fun. As for people who tell you to donate your hair, you don't have to give them ANY response. You can just ignore the question entirely. They might ask a few more times, but eventually, they will understand how annoying and rude they're being and will shut it.