Helping curly kids take care of their hair properly

[bunnylake]

My step-daughter is 10 years old and has curly hair, I'd say 2c-3a. Right now she doesn't seem too concerned about what her hair looks like, but I'm sure that'll change as she matures (which is happening fast!)
The problem is her mother doesn't have curly hair and obviously doesn't understand how to care for it. She had it cut into a Louise Brooks flapper-style bob about a year ago and keeps it trimmed and styled that way, however that style is not suited for curly hair at all. Her daughters bangs curl up into horn-looking things and the rest get wurly at the ends and it always looks messy, even after it's brushed. It's as if she thinks her daughters hair is straight. Anyway, her daughter has said to me on many occasions that she wants to grow out her bangs and have longer hair, but her mother keeps taking her to have it trimmed and "shaped" into this short bob.

I'm thinking of buying her a copy of Curly Girl for Christmas. She'll be almost 11 by then and might really appreciate it. I read Curly Girl a long time ago and can't remember if it's mostly something a kid her age could understand, but we can give it a whirl.

I'm mostly just venting because it's so annoying! She has lovely shiny hair and it could be so beautiful if she would just grow out that bob!

Ok I'm done now. :D

[Maelyssa]

I think the book is a great idea. Maybe if you also have a talk with her and tell her that if she starts taking great care of her hair, it may help convince her mom to let her grow it more.
I have 3 girls with curls and couldn't imagine bobs.
That kind of translates to big poof ball to me. I know because once a stylist cut my oldests waist length hair to a chin length bob and it soooo doesn't suit curls! Her father wanted to go cut off the stylists hair when he saw what she did.

Maybe if mom and dad are on good terms he can bring it up to her that their daughter is starting to grow and has expressed interest in longer hair provided she learn to care for it properly and that maybe its time they let her try it out.

Another thought is you help your stepdaughter find some nice pics of girls her age with hair styles shed like to try out. Maybe she can show them to mom to help convince her or bring them to the stylist and she can tell the stylist to talk to her mom about her possibly growing it out and the different looks she could try if she did. Look in Discovery Girls magazine. It's for her age group and you should find plenty of pics.

Hopefully some of this helps!

[SerinaDaith]

I was a wavy girl, at the very least which my mother would not allow, which ended up with bangs and a chin length bob till I was 8. I finally demanded very loudly to be allowed to make choices for myself and started growing out my hair, I think I was tired of having my scalp burned every day so that mom could "make it pretty". I had wavy wild hair and I loved it but my mom would call me a shaggy dog and cousin it.
I am not recommending that your stepdaughter riot over her hair but perhaps she could talk to her mom about how much she dislikes the current style? My 11 year old DS has his first faux hawk and I think it is adorable he wanted it, ever since he could talk he has had choices about his hair care, granted he can only keep it long if he will take care of it but he is old enough to do it. My three year old gets a vote with his hair too, my DD doesn't have much hair yet so it is left more or less to it's own devices. I guess I don't get the whole control of hair thing...
Being a former step mom and having been a primary mom dealing with a step mom I can say it is tricky sometimes to advocate for what a kid wants even as mom to step mom. I wish you luck! Perhaps this is just some odd power play against you or your SO if she knows you are hair aware. People can be petty and choose the strangest battles. Good luck!