Making friends with your natural hair texture

[Rufflebutt]

At first when I stopped straightening my hair, I was frustrated daily because I felt that my hair looked messy and stupid. I was so used to straightening it until it was as straight as a pin because I felt that it looked neater.

It's been two months since giving up heat and now I can finally say that I'm beginning to enjoy my hair. It's 1b/1c, so it's straight enough to be called straight hair. But it has just enough bend in it to look like it hasn't been brushed in a while. But I get tons of compliments on my hair all of the time, people say it's cute and I have such a nice natural texture. And actually, I kind of like my hair now and the fact that it seems to have a mind of it's own whenever a hair decides to stick up for no good reason or suddenly develop a distinct wave in one place but nowhere else on my head.

I can honestly say that I've kicked my addiction to flat ironing now. :)

How about you guys? Did you guys ever experience a transition like this after giving up heat?

[Amber_Maiden]

Congrats on kicking your addiction! :p

I gave up heat about 2 years ago, and my hair wasn't as sleep and smooth looking as it was ironed. It's very wild, and thick looking. I got used to it. Men actually like it better natural, I think.... Looks sexier lol

[LoveAngelBeauty]

I like it...I'm just haven't quite figured it out yet :/

[palaeoqueen]

I'm starting to love mine, it will be a lot better when it's longer and I've finally trimmed out all the damage though.

[chou]

I don't even try to fight my natural texture anymore. When I attempt to brush or straighten my hair feels straw-like and looks poofy and ridiculous. It feels so much more bouncy and soft when I just let it curl. Thankfully, it's getting long enough now to express full ringlet rotations, so I have less weird "AH, one side of my hair is sticking straight out!" days. It's just kind of a wild mess, but at least it's symmetrical.

[cwarren]

How about you guys? Did you guys ever experience a transition like this after giving up heat?

Nope.

I recently started blow drying my hair semi-straight again just to make it manageable. I no longer flat iron, air drying is a no go.

I was natural in high school and I did not have healthy hair because my natural texture is dry and each individual strand loves to knot around each other. I recently tried no heat again and the same thing happened again. I tried the CO, WO, deep treatments, finger combing, blah blah blah, but I still experienced broken, unhappy, unattractive hair because of my texture. No other methods of stretching my hair works either.

So I feel that if no heat is actually making your hair HEALTHIER, then stick with it because healthy hair is what makes your hair grow long. But your hair is damaged because your natural texture cannot be managed, then maybe heat or whatever other method that can make your hair more manageable is what you should go for.

[lilliemer]

I had a lot of issues to get over regarding my hair. Growing up I had constant (hourly) criticism from my mother about how ugly it was. Also that I was dirty if I didn't go without washing it. She would SMMEEELLLLL my hair (like stick her nose in my scalp and inhale deeeeeeeply) and if it didn't smell clean to her she would make me go shower. Even if I had just washed my hair that same morning. Not a good strategy for a curly head, not that I knew what my natural hair was like because it was short, blow dryed, and put up in hot rollers every day in order to keep it in line. I believe that it was probably curly my whole life, but I was trained to believe that I just had ugly, poorly behaved, straight hair and that if I just tried harder with invasive methods of styling that it would somehow look good.

I am now going on 2 years heat free. (I am 33 FYI.) There is a dividing line in my hair between the never-heat-styled hair and the older, heat styled hair. I have just started going to a new stylist and she was able to basically guess how long it had been since I stopped blow frying and heating just based on the way my ends felt. I had never really been able to grow my hair past shoulder because of all the damage. I'm now at APL and am hoping, God willing, for much longer.

I like my natural hair texture on the first day after washing.

Second day and after is hard for me because the curls drop out and it goes to deep waves and a bit of frizz.

I had been taking out a lot of self hate on my hair, pulling and picking at split ends. Since giving up the heat, my hair has been a lot healthier so overall I'm getting better and more accepting of it, but sometimes I look in the mirror and it looks frizzy or it's not magically longer than it was the last time I looked at it (an hour before). Then I get stressed and it's after picking the splits again. Joining here has helped a lot as I get to see all the lovely natural long hair which is an inspiration to stop destroying my own.

[akuamoonmaui]

I made friends with my hair by asking, "So! What do you want to do today?" and went from there. I'm being silly, but in some respects it's true. Some days - bun it, other days - down. I also tried out different products on my hair-friend to see what it likes and doesn't like. And with all good friendships, you maintain positive relationships!

[vanillabones]

I kicked heat once joining lhc and feel no urge to pick it back up but no I'm not good friends with my hair, and it is so thin in pictures :( ugh I wish I had more and I dont really like my non waves pattern

[palebluelantern]

Oh boy, I'm trying! I have awkward-length hair right now, and a whirl that exists right at the shoulder, so my hair kind of flips out and looks ridiculous. I usually just flat iron the ends and the pieces that frame my face, but I hope to be able to forego ironing when it gets a little longer.

I'm going to be getting bangs soon and I have to straight iron them for them to look good, but that's such a small bit of hair that gets cut often, so it doesn't matter that much.

[Simone_Fatale]

I'm giving up flat ironing as soon as I hit shoulder lenght. Just waiting for my hair to get some weight so it won't go crazy curly at the ends like it does now.

[Maybe]

I'm in the "waiting to be a bit longer to give up heat" category too.

I think my natural texture will be nice once its a bit longer and heavier. Right now it looks good air dried in the back but not the sides and front (which are shorter).

For now, I am forgoing flat ironing as much as possible. Once it is long enough for a neat, professional looking updo, i am done with heat. I will maintian that length while cutting off the dry ends.

And then I hope to make friends with my natural texture.

[battles]

I've never had any interest in using heat on my hair, but I tend to comb the waves out.

I really want to just let my hair dry naturally, but it stays tangled and looks weird. I just can't deal with it.

[DancingQueen]

I hated my natural hair texture until I was 17. From 14 to 17, I straightened it every second day or so, some periods more than others. But at some point, I decided to embrace my curls, and now I absolutely love it. Actually, I don't even like how I look with straight hair now, it just doesn't look right. :)

Keep it up, you can do it! :)

[RedheadMistress]

- Took me years to start loving my curls . . and now I live with the damages wurls on my head . Me and my sister and her friends would even use the ironing thing you use for clothes, but on our hairs, put your wet hair on a pillow and straighten it ..

MADNESS !

Totally forgot about that until I started writing this reply hah . .
Sometimes I still fight to love my natural hair but I think it's because I'm not seeing it in a healthy state, just damaged, frizzy, wurly, angry, dry . .

In a decade or so I'm sure I will be more happy ;)

[CurlyCurves]

I love it ^_^

[auroraclio]

I always hated my wavy hair until I realized that brushing it after it was dry was a disaster. Now I prefer it in it's natural state over flat-ironed

[Neecola]

I am learning...

I'm in an awkward stage too (mid neck) so my hair hasn't reached its full potential. The curls don't have enough room to groove yet but I am optimistic that one day I will really love it.

[Spider0325]

I'm still trying to find mine. Sometimes it looks wavy sometimes straight. I don't use heat or products.

[Firefox7275]

At first when I stopped straightening my hair, I was frustrated daily because I felt that my hair looked messy and stupid. I was so used to straightening it until it was as straight as a pin because I felt that it looked neater.

It's been two months since giving up heat and now I can finally say that I'm beginning to enjoy my hair. It's 1b/1c, so it's straight enough to be called straight hair. But it has just enough bend in it to look like it hasn't been brushed in a while. But I get tons of compliments on my hair all of the time, people say it's cute and I have such a nice natural texture. And actually, I kind of like my hair now and the fact that it seems to have a mind of it's own whenever a hair decides to stick up for no good reason or suddenly develop a distinct wave in one place but nowhere else on my head.

I can honestly say that I've kicked my addiction to flat ironing now. :)

How about you guys? Did you guys ever experience a transition like this after giving up heat?

Hair in the 1s should not need flat ironing, are you SURE you are only 1b/1c? Even if you've done a typing it may be that your wave pattern was damaged at that time, what you describe sounds more like 2a that is being brushed or combed out. You might consider giving Curly Girl techniques a whirl.

I didn't give up heat but did quit stopping forcing my 'straight' poofy/ fluffy/ frizzy hair to be something it isn't with a brush, 24/7 ponytails and hairspray. Turns out I've 2a waves at the back into 2c ringlets at the front, even my own mother is shocked! It frustrates the heck out of me but I do love it looking different to the norm and the compliments I receive.

[Avis]

Neecola, I'm totally in the same boat. I've been heat free for 5+ years, but my hair being around collarbone length makes for awkward waves and curls.

[alishaxmarie]

When I was a little kid I had straight hair. I never straightened every day but in middle school I did use actual irons (for clothes) on my hair. In the first half of high school I used a lot of mousse and my hair was much curlier than it was the second half of the semester, I always thought it was the humidity helping it to curl but who knows. It's wavy and I've used nothing but leave-in conditioner since midway through 10th grade or maybe 11th grade and I'm a sophomore in college now. I love my hair! I rock braid waves so well everyone thinks it's my natural curl pattern, which I actually don't know because it decides to be wurlier some days than others (still blame it on humidity lol, did I mention I live in Florida?). I can hop out of the shower and I'm good to go wherever. It's awesome! My mom always thinks my hair looks like "it hasn't been brushed in a month's worth of Sundays" because I refuse to brush/comb it once it begins to dry since that ruins the curl pattern. I think I straightened my hair maybe 2 or 3 times last Winter (only time the weather is dry enough for hair to stay straight and non-frizzy) but I'm not sure if I'll straighten it at all this year; I probably will at least once just to feel and see the full length but I look good with wavy hair so the only reason I would want to straighten it is to change things up.

[Rio040113]

I've definitely made friends with mine, I used to be a daily blowdry/heat style kinda girl but now I air-dry and almost never heat style, I go natural or use a heat-free method :) If I'm going out somewhere nice I'll blowdry my fringe on a barrel brush (warm setting, not hot) and lightly run my ghd's over my face framing layers just once, so they don't flick awkwardly, other than that I've realised my hair is straight enough and looks better left natural!

[Naiadryade]

I had been taking out a lot of self hate on my hair, pulling and picking at split ends. Since giving up the heat, my hair has been a lot healthier so overall I'm getting better and more accepting of it, but sometimes I look in the mirror and it looks frizzy or it's not magically longer than it was the last time I looked at it (an hour before). Then I get stressed and it's after picking the splits again. Joining here has helped a lot as I get to see all the lovely natural long hair which is an inspiration to stop destroying my own.

So sorry to hear about your critical mother! And glad you're healing your relationship with your hair now.

A healthy, productive way to channel your split-picking desires would be to actually S&D. Get yourself a pair of sharp hair-trimming shears, and only ever use them on hair. Carry them around with you in your purse and/or keep them out at your desk (I do both, they're almost always with me and easily accessible). Then whenever you get the urge to pick at your split ends, whip out those shears and trim them off instead. Then you are left with healthy, blunt ends, instead of more damage a little higher up! Plus you are sending love to your hair through your hate of the splits. It's a win-win. Plus you can totally get all metaphorical about that and apply it to your outlook on life on other levels as well. Win-win-win!

[DweamGoiL]

I have finally made peace with my natural hair texture, but it was a long time in the making. When I was a kid, my hair was really straight and grew down to Classic. As a tween/teen, it became wavier, but it was much shorter by then. Then, the 80's hit and I wanted it curly so I permed it and dyed it so many times I can't even count. My hair was dry and fried. Eventually, I grew my hair to TBL and got into a more natural way of taking care of my hair, but I never really accepted that it was wavy. I felt it was straight, but it just would never really behave and that is why it would frizz. I gave up fighting it about 2 years ago. I have come to realize I have the best of both worlds so instead of trying to work against it, all I need to do is embrace it and pamper it. It does require a bit of go with the flow type of mentality. I have learned to allow for a bit of not having to control my hair all the time. I no longer use heat or cones and I only brush on the 3rd day after washing. I now take a more laid back approach to my growing my hair and just haircare in general.

Right now it's MBL and I am thinking of growing it to waist, but if it becomes too care intensive, I will cut it back to the current length. Right now, it's pretty easy to care for, which I am totally enjoying.

[RainbowBowser]

I've gradually just got lazy about my hair and in turn, grew to just accept my hair texture. I also have 1b/1c hair, I find it co-operates quite nicely (minus a few awkward flips, even then its not bad) and while I have a straightener I have no need for it every day like I used to.

[Neecola]

Neecola, I'm totally in the same boat. I've been heat free for 5+ years, but my hair being around collarbone length makes for awkward waves and curls.

Hi Avis! My post is about a year old, so I'm almost APL now and it has gotten much easier! Hang in there!

[RubberDucky]

I'm still trying to figure out how my newly virgin hair will behave. Right now it's too short to tell. It's mostly straight with a small number of tightly crimped hairs mixed in, which means it will never be smooth. This is basically what my hair looks like up close: lllllll3llllll3lllllll3llllll Perfect material for a poofy do.

[spidermom]

I had to go through a process of learning to work with my naturally wavy/curly hair instead of against it - I always wanted it to be straight - and I learned to love it. At my current length, tailbone, there isn't much in the way of wave/curl anymore, and I'm having to go through the reverse process of learning to accept that it's straight now, more 1C than 2C.