Desperate for help

[kallarina]

I have a hair appointment in the morning. I'm putting bleach on my hair to break up the old color. I know it's not the best option, but it is the most effective, and I can't stand two toned hair anymore. I'm not looking for a lecture on that.
My problem is that my hair dresser (who is a close personal friend) doesn't want me to put coconut oil on prior to bleaching. She seems to think that it will prevent the bleach from working and that it won't lighten because the bleach will spend so much time eating through the coconut oil and won't have any time to eat through the color (since bleach only works for a certain amount of time).
My mom just told me that the hairdresser wanted her to tell me that she's begging me to not show up to the appointment tomorrow with coconut oil in my hair (because I previously told her that I was doing it anyway). I don't know what to do. I have no personal experience with using coconut oil prior to bleaching, but I've heard so many people say it really helps negate damage. Which is why I felt okay making the appointment to do this, because I thought I would have something to help prevent damage. The thought of just putting bleach straight on my hair makes me feel sick.
Normally, I would just make the appointment with someone else who would be more willing to work with my choice of putting the oil on. But she's a family friend. I can't do that.
So. Do I do it anyway? Will it still work as well as if there was no oil? Will I be able to prove her wrong with it, or will I waste her time because I'll do it and then the bleach won't work?
Advice, please?
Thanks for reading this far, and thanks in advance for replies.

[lmfbs]

I believe that coconut oil does help prevent damage. I have no scientific evidence to back that up, just anecdotal evidence.

It's YOUR hair. You have to do what you think is right for your hair, and if that means you think you should oil it first, you should do that. If she refuses to work on your hair with oil, that's on her. Tell her you're not willing to negotiate on it and leave the ball in her court.

If it were me, based on my experiences with coconut oil, I would definitely be oiling before bleaching and would be showing up nicely oiled ready for bleach. Good luck!

[brave]

Well, won't you pay her twice if she has to do it twice? Maybe play it off as an experiment but reassure her you'll pay her for her time if it takes longer. I can understand her concern if she's never dealt with it before (I have no experience with this either) -- she may be worried you will be disappointed.

[kallarina]

Thanks for the response. Does the bleach still work just as well as if there was no oil on it?

[Arya]

I thought you were supposed to oil your hair for a few hours, then wash it out just prior to bleaching.

If not, how much oil are you supposed to have in your hair? Surely it can't be a sodden oil slick when you go to bleach it.

[kallarina]

Brave, her concern is a matter of how much time she has. If it doesn't work the first time and I leave, she will have lost out on the rest of the time she had blocked for me. I think that's her concern anyway.
Arya, I'm not sure. That's why I'm looking for advice!!!

[lmfbs]

I thought you were supposed to oil your hair for a few hours, then wash it out just prior to bleaching.

If not, how much oil are you supposed to have in your hair? Surely it can't be a sodden oil slick when you go to bleach it.


I don't think so. I'm 99.9% sure it's just like dye or henna, you oil, leave it in and bleach over the top.

[kallarina]

Okay, so if I leave the oil in, will the bleach still work the same as if there was no oil? Like, will it lighten the same amount either way?

[lmfbs]

Okay, so if I leave the oil in, will the bleach still work the same as if there was no oil? Like, will it lighten the same amount either way?

Check out this thread:

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=98129&highlight=coconut+oil+bleach

There are heaps of others if you search 'coconut oil before bleach'

[Ice Fox]

Do you know if your hairdresser has tried bleaching oiled hair before and got a poor result? She may be speaking from experience. Or she may know the chemistry of how the bleach works. Are you able to find out? Maybe a good option is to do what a previous poster said and oil your hair before hand and wash it thoroughly before you go. And maybe do it again after you get back.

[Heatherzilla]

I'm pretty sure it still works exactly the same with the coconut oil in there. Same as how a lot of people recomend to bleach on slightly dirty hair as the natural oils can help protect your hair and scalp.

I've used dye before that boasted it had some sort of coconut extract to help protect against damage so I'm thinking it can't affect the colour outcome.

[akilina]

I think you should do it....
I hate to say: Not all, but many hairdressers seem to be opposed to more natural approaches to hair care. I am truly not sure on this one. Not all of them are seriously focused on selling product either, so I do not think it is a "I'd rather sell you product" Thing.

I feel that it is your hair, and it is important that you feel comfortable with this service :) If she simply refuses to bleach your hair with coconut oil when you are sitting in the chair, personally I would probably bail, family friend or not. Yeah, it really sucks when you have appointments booked, then it doesn't happen for a number of reasons and then that chunk of time is all messed up.

But back to the important part: You need to feel comfortable. Simple as that :]

[kallarina]

Just read a lot of ktani's research from the thread posted earlier. Seems like it should be fine. I'm now concerned about what she'll do after the bleach. She's going to apply another color over it. It won't be protected then.
According to the articles, the ability to lighten and the coconut oil's ability to negate damage are two entirely separate things. Now I'm just looking for someone to verify this. And hoping someone else has been in my boat and not lost length over it.

[kallarina]

Akilina, I agree with you. I believe that they are simply taught to trust their chemicals in hair school, and so are skeptical of natural approaches. I know she doesn't do anything natural in terms of hair care, so perhaps this is getter hesitancy.
To a post earlier... She has a client who doesn't wash her hair ever, it seems. The amount of oil (sebum) in her hair is basically horrifying. When she gets highlights, they sometimes have to bleach twice, because the oil prevents the color from lifting.

[akilina]

Akilina, I agree with you. I believe that they are simply taught to trust their chemicals in hair school, and so are skeptical of natural approaches. I know she doesn't do anything natural in terms of hair care, so perhaps this is getter hesitancy.
To a post earlier... She has a client who doesn't wash her hair ever, it seems. The amount of oil (sebum) in her hair is basically horrifying. When she gets highlights, they sometimes have to bleach twice, because the oil prevents the color from lifting.
In school I was never really taught more natural approaches at all. however I was on this website a year before I ever went to school, so I was open minded to these things and still am :) But at the same time, I never heard one negative bit about anything negative about natural ways once.

Perhaps that particular client washes her hair, but maybe has a HORRIBLE build up of product on it. I could imagine synthetic oils and cones preventing this at some point. This often appears the same way that people never wash their hair might.

I am not sure what you can do still. I wish I knew the answer. It seems she is too closed minded to it :( Do you think you will show up with it on now?

[kallarina]

I think I will oil it. If she refuses to do it, it's her time lost. I hate for it to be that way, but I've worked too hard for healthy hair to throw it all away in one hair appointment. After reading ktani's information, I have every reason to believe that it will work just as well. I guess my only concern now should be letting her put another color over the bleached bits to make it blend better with my natural color.
I hope it all doesn't go horribly wrong. My mother is already very upset with me for arguing about this. I think the only thing that I can do is to do it anyway, as an experiment. If it works, they'll lay off. If it doesn't, I'll be growing out color for the next few years.

[akilina]

I think I will oil it. If she refuses to do it, it's her time lost. I hate for it to be that way, but I've worked too hard for healthy hair to throw it all away in one hair appointment. After reading ktani's information, I have every reason to believe that it will work just as well. I guess my only concern now should be letting her put another color over the bleached bits to make it blend better with my natural color.
I hope it all doesn't go horribly wrong. My mother is already very upset with me for arguing about this. I think the only thing that I can do is to do it anyway, as an experiment. If it works, they'll lay off. If it doesn't, I'll be growing out color for the next few years.
Wow are we doing the same thing? :) I am trying to get rid of my henna here and there. My eventual goal is to match my natural color as close as possible, and then let it grow out.
I won't be bleaching at all though, and at best I will do a bleach soap cap. Right now I have a TON of vitamin C crushed up on my head. It is actually working I can already see it. In a few weeks I will probably start using color oops and see what I come up with. It will definitely be a process but I am trying to keep the integrity of my hair.

[Dovetail]

I dont have much advice, but I dont think id bleach and color in the same day, isnt that particularly bad? @.@ I have no experience so i cant say, i just remember reading it somewhere... In any case, do let us know how it goes!

[kallarina]

We are doing very similar things, as a matter of fact. I've been dyeing my hair dark for years, to please my very unsupportive mother, who has told me since I was a child that I have ugly hair. She let me start coloring my hair when I was eight, because she hated my natural hair. I've decided that I'm done being self conscious about it and accept what I was born with. So, I'm bleaching out the color after trying multiple other things to lighten the dark (almost black) to get close to my natural color so I can let it grow out.
So, other than the colors we are trying to get rid of, yes, it would seem that we are in the same boat. :)

[kallarina]

Thanks, dovetail, I will let you know. I don't know that I'll have much choice, seeing as I have limited time to get it all done before I move away (back to college for me!). It isn't the smartest or healthiest thing to do, but I also don't think I could live with the color it bleaches to long enough to take a break.

[akilina]

We are doing very similar things, as a matter of fact. I've been dyeing my hair dark for years, to please my very unsupportive mother, who has told me since I was a child that I have ugly hair. She let me start coloring my hair when I was eight, because she hated my natural hair. I've decided that I'm done being self conscious about it and accept what I was born with. So, I'm bleaching out the color after trying multiple other things to lighten the dark (almost black) to get close to my natural color so I can let it grow out.
So, other than the colors we are trying to get rid of, yes, it would seem that we are in the same boat. :)
Ugh I am sorry you are made to feel that way. That is a whole different topic on its own but I am sorry you felt pressured like that at such an incredibly young age!
Personally I would have probably done something like use color oops a few times at home before hand. Although it is done all the time, I would be incredibly nervous to do a double process all in one day. I would expect to lose length, personally. My hair isn't really thick or super duper strong though.

Growing out natural seems to be a big step. I envy those who can simply just deal with the roots and not mind at all. I also envy people who have jobs or professions where it does not matter if you have two toned hair and crazy contrasted roots!

[kallarina]

Oh, I very much understand the feeling. I haven't used color oops particularly because the reviews scared me off. My mom has worked in a salon my whole life, so double processing is something I've done more times than I care to count. I have pretty resilient hair, I've had fairly long hair my whole life, and from all the processing I've done, I never lost thickness or had to cut much out of necessity. I still don't WANT to bleach, but bleach is much less scary than something I've never used, and a lot more predictable.

[akilina]

Oh, I very much understand the feeling. I haven't used color oops particularly because the reviews scared me off. My mom has worked in a salon my whole life, so double processing is something I've done more times than I care to count. I have pretty resilient hair, I've had fairly long hair my whole life, and from all the processing I've done, I never lost thickness or had to cut much out of necessity. I still don't WANT to bleach, but bleach is much less scary than something I've never used, and a lot more predictable.
That is very interesting. Around here, many love color oops. Especially since it leaves literally no damage for many. Its never damaged mine one bit luckily!
You're lucky your hair seems to handle it well. What is your natural color anyway? Sorry if you have posted it...I am about at that point where I Just want to go to bed and may not have paid super close attention to detail >.<

[Arya]

I don't think so. I'm 99.9% sure it's just like dye or henna, you oil, leave it in and bleach over the top.

Yes, I just read Ktani's blog post, and I can see that you're right. My bad!


But Kallarina, color oops and decolour/whatever from all reports are far less damaging than bleach...especially a double process. You could always do a strand test with it and check, to see how it works.

It's too bad your mother is so unsupportive about your hair. She's pretty controlling, seeing it's not her head, and you're not a child. I'd also be pretty ticked off if my hairdresser called my mother to ask me to do or not do something.

[MonaMayfair]

Just wanted to say good luck with the bleaching!
I used coconut oil myself under Sun In (trying to lighten henna) but I sort of chickened out, didn't spray much Sun In into my hair, and washed it out almost straight away. I went back to honey lightening which did lighten it up a lot!

Anyway, I have read various threads about using coconut oil before bleach, and definitely have read posts saying the bleach worked just as well as usual with a lot less damage. If I were going to bleach my hair I would absolutely put coconut oil on it first!

[kallarina]

Well... I'm at the salon. Already have the bleach on. And let me just say that before going to Ned last night, I BATHED my hair in coconut oil. :p
I guess we will see how well it works.
Honestly, I was surprised at how this whole situation played out. My mom isn't usually controlling, at all. Which is why I was so surprised that she was upset. I called my hairdresser to let her know that I would be doing coconut oil anyway, and she said that she would do the best she could then.
So. I will update as soon as I'm done here. Thanks for all the support!
(and I think in the future, I might try color oops, I just decided against it because of the awful reviews I found. Awful reviews scare me.)

[Silken]

My hairstylist ALWAYS oils her clients' hair prior to bleaching.

[Amber_Maiden]

I would do it anyways. Explain why to her when you see her.

[akilina]

Well... I'm at the salon. Already have the bleach on. And let me just say that before going to Ned last night, I BATHED my hair in coconut oil. :p
I guess we will see how well it works.
Honestly, I was surprised at how this whole situation played out. My mom isn't usually controlling, at all. Which is why I was so surprised that she was upset. I called my hairdresser to let her know that I would be doing coconut oil anyway, and she said that she would do the best she could then.
So. I will update as soon as I'm done here. Thanks for all the support!
(and I think in the future, I might try color oops, I just decided against it because of the awful reviews I found. Awful reviews scare me.)

Yay! Im glad she was actually open minded to it!!
I am sure that it will work great.
The only reason the bleach may not work as well is because your hair is black black black. (well it looks like it anyway). Hopefully she doesn't blame black being really hard to lift on your coconut oil :p

[kallarina]

It did work pretty well! Yes, my hair was black. I've had black hair and lifted it before, so we had a gauge to go by as to how well it would lift with and without the oil. It seems to me that it actually lifted better, like more evenly than it did the previous time (pre-LHC). My hair didn't feel fried or tangly, and instead of putting permanent color over it, she did a semi-permanent toner that didn't have any peroxide or ammonia in it. It's supposed to be non-damaging because it doesn't have chemicals to oxidize. My hair feels pretty good, but it'll be a little bit before I can tell what the damage is like. It doesn't feel or look damaged, but it's still wet. I'll be doing a protein treatment and smt if it seems to need it when it dries.
No way to take a picture yet, but I'll do what I can soon.
Thanks everyone!

[akilina]

It did work pretty well! Yes, my hair was black. I've had black hair and lifted it before, so we had a gauge to go by as to how well it would lift with and without the oil. It seems to me that it actually lifted better, like more evenly than it did the previous time (pre-LHC). My hair didn't feel fried or tangly, and instead of putting permanent color over it, she did a semi-permanent toner that didn't have any peroxide or ammonia in it. It's supposed to be non-damaging because it doesn't have chemicals to oxidize. My hair feels pretty good, but it'll be a little bit before I can tell what the damage is like. It doesn't feel or look damaged, but it's still wet. I'll be doing a protein treatment and smt if it seems to need it when it dries.
No way to take a picture yet, but I'll do what I can soon.
Thanks everyone!
Sweet! Really glad to hear it was a success :}

[jojo]

Glad it turned out great for you, it's so hard to remove dyes but it's great when it turns out well!