Negative comments about hair

[raingirl]

How do you all deal with negative comments about your hair? Well, not exactly negative, but disappointed comments (if that makes sense?)

This was one of my biggest worries when I did henna. Being a blonde, I've always been told I could never cut/dye etc etc my hair because it was such a perfect blonde colour.

As a result, I've developed some complexes relating to my hair. I've always felt like I had no permission to do what I wanted to do and I was trapped.

Now that I've done the henna, I'm getting my worst fears. People are constantly telling me "but your old hair was so beautiful". And then there are the "wow, your hair is really orange" or other extreme comments.

It's really putting me down today....

[jeanniet]

Shrug and say, "I love it, and that's what matters!" with a big, enthusiastic smile. Or "I thought blonde was boring, and I've always loved red hair." Anything that shows that this is what you wanted and you did it for you, not because you care what other people think. :)

[Rufflebutt]

I've always had complete free-reign with my appearance and I get many critical comments as well. There's no point in taking offense, so let it roll after your back. More than likely, the comments about how beautiful your old hair was is probably meant as a compliment or an expression of admiration. It doesn't exactly mean that they're angered about your choice to henna. Besides, if you love it then why do you care about anyone else?

Of course, this is coming from someone who walks down the street looking like this:

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/200257_202315036460037_5404872_n.jpg

[Cowgirl16]

There is a cute girl at the Harley store with beautiful waist length blond hair. I went into the store one day and asked where she was. I was shown a girl with auburn hair; "there she is". I didn't even recognize her! My first thought was NOOOO not the blonde hair! That was several months ago, the more I see her as an redhead the more I realize she is just as beautiful (and so is her hair :)) as a redhead. Give your friends time :)

[MaryMarx]

People can be so rude.

I don't get comments about my hair, because there is really nothing about it, but when I
tell people (well, my family) about my goal being waist length they always go quiet...
And I feel like, hey, we're family, support me even if you think it's ugly or whatever is the problem.

[Ginger Kitteh]

I know how you feel :(. When I visited family last month, I was on my journey to grow out my hair as I am now, and my aunt made a comment about how short it was compared to my sister's, who has tailbone-length hair when curly. My aunt, not knowing I was growing mine out, said to me, "her hair needs probably a whole bottle of conditioner! I bet yours only needs one drop!" It made me feel like I was bald. Plus, co-washing was just not working for me and later that day my aunt commented that everyone had curls but me -_-. My hair had turned into oily waves from what I was doing to it.

But you know, people will say whatever pops into their heads. If you can make a good retort, then they will leave it alone. We're all pretty open to suggestion about what we like on others, and your own opinion can significantly influence how other people think. When my aunt made that conditioner comment, I just happily said, "yep!" and then went to go mope in the bathroom and tell myself that it would grow. It's even better that you like your hair.

Red hair is beautiful! And orange tones just make it look more natural.

[stew]

I used to have thick waist-length hair and I got compliments on it all the time. People always wanted to feel it and play with it. Hairdressers used to call their coworkers over to come look at it and touch it when they were cutting it.

Then I experienced some hair loss and thinning and decided to cut it all off to about pixie and I dyed it bright red. I got soooo many complaints. I've spent the last four years with people asking me why I cut my hair off, "you were so beautiful before", "you look so much prettier with long hair", etc. etc. etc....

Terrible for my self-esteem.. and probably the main contributing factor to why I joined this site. But now it's all for myself and I could not give less of a damn what other people think. My hair has contributed to personal growth.. and I'm thankful for that!

[Little Unicorn]

Aww I'm sorry they said that to you :( Don't worry red hair is beautiful. I'm sure if you give them time they'll see how pretty it is.

Yes, a while back when I had bangs, I had just cut them and one of my friends who saw me, the first thing she said was "Not bangs again! You should grow them out!". Kind of bugged me but I was more mad at her for thinking that I should change my looks to please her. Especially because I regretted getting bangs myself, but I was pretending to like them (I don't know why I do that, but I always pretend to be more confident than I am).

[sharonluvscats]

I've always had complete free-reign with my appearance and I get many critical comments as well. There's no point in taking offense, so let it roll after your back. More than likely, the comments about how beautiful your old hair was is probably meant as a compliment or an expression of admiration. It doesn't exactly mean that they're angered about your choice to henna. Besides, if you love it then why do you care about anyone else?

Of course, this is coming from someone who walks down the street looking like this:

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/200257_202315036460037_5404872_n.jpg

I agree if you love it that it what matters. I love that outfit! The bow is so cute! :)

[Boucles d'or]

Hey, I'm sorry for you and I know how much it can hurt! I had a major switch too and had nothing but complaints... Try to like and accept what you have now, experience having a new color as beautiful! It isn't always easy but you feel much stronger when you 'like' and 'accept' it. :)

[akilina]

The only negative I have heard was "OMG henna is SO bad pshhhh your hair is going to melt off now."
Yeah right.
Also, "omg I can't believe you shave your head how do you even do that??!"

Never caring either way :)

[dwell_in_safety]

Give them some time to adjust from the shock, and in the meantime just shrug and say that you love it. :) It's really difficult to take that kind of blatant disapproval and criticism from others when you make such a major change, even if it's only to your appearance. I certainly understand there.

[Curly Crone]

I have had a couple of people over the years tell me I should cover the gray in my hair. I always told them that "when they pay for my haircare then the have a say-so, otherwise NO". That usually stops them. Don't be depressed or sad, it's your hair to do with as you wish.

[Wildcat Diva]

I am sorry that bummed you out. We will support you here. Sometimes nobody seems to understand IRL. I felt like a freak today talking with the lady That cut my son's hair today. And I came off as a know it all to boot when I was educating her about several topics. Must remember to keep my mouth shut IRL about LHC matters.

[Amber_Maiden]

You have to ignore it, and love yourself the way you are. You make your own decisions about your body and what you do to it. No one else. I feel the same way when I change my hair colour, or when I get a tattoo. I always wonder what other people might think, or when my mom makes a comment which I know is negative- it all just makes me feel bad. I'm learning to let it all go. Screw what other people think! BE YOURSELF!

[Lostsoule77]

People are always resistant to change and dislike it. Often when they get used to it they find that they like it better. Give your friends this time.

Beyond that, it is YOUR hair and you can do what you want with it. Don't let others bring you down. Personally I think red hair is the prettiest and always cringe when red heads dye their hair. That's just my opinion. Everyone has opinions. The only one you really need to worry about is your own. :D

[jacqueline101]

I get rude comments all the time over my care regimen the monistat especially. I used to hear why would a small person want a lot of hair. Its mine I like it that's what counts. People can be so actively mean.

[one_fine_lady]

I believe that you should feel free to do whatever you like with your hair. Everybody is! However, I also don't think that every color looks good on everybody. If you like the orange hair then great. If not, keep trying different colors! You don't have to be "stuck" with your natural blonde or any other color.

[panffle]

I understand how you feel. My hair is black in color and very straight, my mother loves it because it reminds her of her grandfather's hair. I, however, am young and would like to change a bit - I simply love chocolate brown hair and for the longest time wanted to dye it that color. I knew damage would come with it, but I did it anyway.
And for that time, when I had the brown hair color I loved, I got no support from my mother. She'd say that it looked better before, healthier, etc. It made me feel self-conscious and eventually I gave in, cut off a great deal of my hair (at that point I was almost hip and cut it back to above shoulder) and dyed it black.
Honestly, I'm not happy that I did it. I wish I had kept my hair brown. What you should do is look at the mirror and appreciate your hair the way it is now. If YOU like it, then no one else matters. The hair is growing on your head, you should not feel down when someone tells you that they don't like it.
I hope you don't change your mind just because someone else is telling you to. Do what you wish with your hair.

[racrane]

I understand. I want to use henna as well, but I feel pressured because people like my blond hair now.... but I think people have the right to do what they like with their hair if it makes them happy. :)

[Dovetail]

^-~ I haven't had any negitive commets from others, my hair is pretty plain blonde and boring :p I've wanted to try henna, but I have these negitive comments I give MYSELF! My S-I-L has stunning red hair, and I keep thinking to myself, oh if I go henna then it'll look like I'm trying to copy her :o or Oh, you can't ever make up your mind, if you try it and hate it you're sol. so in that vein I am worse to myself than others!

Of course, I always advocate that you should do what you want with your hair to make you happy and poo on other people! I just have trouble making "that voice in my head" happy :p

[Amorice]

From my experience, no matter what you do, SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE will find a way to dislike/belittle it. My grandmother was very sad when I started covering up my blonde with purple dye. But it makes me happy, and that's why I do it!

One year for April Fool's, I posted photos on FB of my "new hair", a purple bob wig I'd bought, and man o man, you'd think I got some ugly tattoo on my face with the way people reacted! Good thing it was fake!

[PixxieStix]

I don't think people mean ti criticize your choice to dye your hair, just that they were likely jealous/loved your blonde hair (which is a compliment!) and say the first thing that pops into their heads! Unless they tell you they think it is awful/ugly/etc., don't assume anyone means anything by a passing comment. Likely, after they say it, they won't ever think about it again, and neither should you! The older you get the more life teaches you to do what makes you happy, because really, that's all that matters. :)

[kittykat86]

I get negative comments from my family all the time. Thank God DH's family loves long hair and always give me positive comments. I always wore my hair short because of my family and their likes. Now I have BSL hair almost WL and I love it.

[Venefica]

Usually when people make such comments they are just jealous and should be ignored, but yeah it do hurt at times. I usually wear my hair in a bun and was told by a former coven sister of mine that when you see me from the front it looks like I have a page cut since all you then see is mu bangs with the rest of my hair pulled back and gathered in a bun. I told her that I like my bangs. Basically no one else have any say in what you do with your hair, after all it is part of your body so you decide what to do with it.

Rufflebutt you are adorable I love that huge bow on your head.

[trilobite]

I had a student who didn't like me who drew very unattractive pictures of me, he denied that they were me but the depictions of hair sticks gave it away so he was busted for disrespect. Ha Ha
I can tell people around me hate my hair and hair toys because they don't say anything, except the time a co-worker told me "you should cut it off" in response to a comment about the price of a stick.
Sometimes people feel a need to say something. It's fair to say you'll be happiest if you please yourself. Unless you're "scaring the horses" so to speak, it's not anyone's business.

[leslissocool]

I actually get very few negative comments!

I get so many "your hair is so long! I want to grow mine out, what are you doing?!" as of right now. I end up giving out a lot of coconut oil :lol:

However, I'm not blonde. I got more negative comments back when I died my hair, although everyone liked the ash blonde, they like healthy hair a lot better on me. The ash blonde fried my hair and it was terrible :(. I think many (like myself) LOVE the blonde color so it's harder to see people that are naturally blonde choose a different color. Doesn't excuse being rude though!

Do what makes you happy girl!

[Arashi]

I got that reaction a whole lot when I first started dyeing my hair. I'm a natural blond and it's just never suited me: the color is unflattering on me since the shade is so close to my skin tone, the color doesn't look well with colors I like to wear, it did nothing for my best features(my eyes), and just didn't suit my aesthetic tastes in general. I think blond hair can be absolutely gorgeous on other people, but just not for me.

Anyway, for some reason many people seem to view blond as the holy ideal of all hair colors and so see it blasphemous that one would dye over it as a natural color. When I started dyeing my hair, people essentially told me that I should go back to blond so I could feel superior to all the people who bleach their hair for it. :confused:

Dark hair is my true love, though, and what I've stuck with for so long that no one would recognize me otherwise any longer. Everyone I know agrees now, too, that it suits me far better than blond. I even have my hair color on my ID and passport listed as black; at this point I consider it to be my second natural color. ;)

I'm sorry you're receiving all those comments, OP. If you persist keeping the hair color you love, the people around you will eventually get used to it and the comments will subsist.

[HintOfMint]

I'm afraid I'm guilty of giving a similar response when someone with beautiful blonde hair dyes it darker :o

Honestly, it's just that blonde hair can be so gorgeous and since I can't have it, I live vicariously through others.

[Tia2010]

I think maybe people are trying to be nice by saying they loved your blond hair...but are just not realizing that by saying that, they are basically saying what you have now isn't as nice... That or they're just mean. :rolleyes:

Just be happy with yourself and give them a little time to get use to it. When I first went from light to dark you would have thought I walked up and slapped people based on some of the reactions I got :p But they got use to it.

[Micayla47]

raingirl i totally understand! please don't take it personally. people are just projecting their opinions onto you. i've always loved red hair and over the years i dyed my blond hair red about 4 or 5 times. each time i got about 3/4 negative responses. people were so bold about it, even people who barely knew me. after 6-9 months i would start to internalize the comments and then bleach the red out, which always resulted in major damage followed by a major chop.

thanks to lhc, i've learned to stay focused on my hair goal and not get sidetracked by nay sayers. i've begun using henna and this time around i'm getting a lot more positive responses. i think it's because i'm committed to the red and confident about it. everyone is entitled to their opinion, but in the end (God willing) i'm going to have long, healthy red hair!!

[raingirl]

Thank you everyone. It's so nice to read all these positive comments! I was having such a down day yesterday that I was just taking everything too personally.

I do love the colour I have from the henna, but I still have a habit of second guessing myself about it. I'm trying not to be vane but I constantly want to look in the mirror to examine the colour!!

[HadessThera]

My hair is naturally very light blonde and my best friend in high school had beautiful natural red curls but we are both quite gothic so all we wanted growing up was long luscious black hair, the amount of criticism and outright anger we received in response was ridiculous but we both did what we wanted anyway and I wound up keeping my hair black for years on end, I don't regret it at all but to this day my family still tries to convince me to dye my hair back to my natural hair colour again, and maybe one day I will but it will be my choice, for now I'm still happy playing with colours