Starting to not care about my hair

[cutiepie11]

Recently I've not been caring too much about my hair, I've went from using no heat to using it 3x a week and that's the minimum.. It's not at my goal length, I'd like it to be 3.5/4inches longer but I like it the way it is and I just feel like what's the point in spending so much time and energy on hair, it just feels silly now... I feel like there are soooo many more important things to invest my time and money in and I feel like what's the point in leaving my hair natural and putting it up all the time when I'd rather wear it down and straighten it but I can't because I'm focusing on my future hair and having it healthier in the future rather than having it how I want today. We don't even know if we'll get to have our dream hair, we could die tomorrow or get cancer and lose our hair or something which I know is extreme but still, I feel like I'm living in the future and I rather just enjoy my hair now... /sigh

[Kwantslonghair]

I use heat on occasion too. It has not hurt it at all, I just spend a little extra time conditioning. I think if you are taking care of it wear your hair however it makes you feel pretty.

[boofles]

I use heat nearly every single day. Sometimes less than others, but probably 6 days a week?

I've been doing this through my whole journey, since chin length, and I still maintain good condition. If I didn't straighten, I'd hate my hair and not want to grow so whats the point? I'd rather it get stuck shorter than I'd hoped than be long but unappealing to me personally I guess :shrug:

[Amber_Maiden]

Do whatever you want to your hair. Who's stopping you? We all decided how we want to live.

[Louise148]

I use heat a couple of times a week. I've short hair at the moment though so not too much of an issue but I'll probably still be using it when I have longer hair, if only so it looks good when I go out at weekends. Do what works for you and above all enjoy it. :D

[CharleaMurphy]

Do whatever you like with it.
If straightening your hair makes you like it better, then do it.
If having healthy hair makes you like it better, then don't do it.

Same with everything, if bleaching the crap out of your hair makes you like it more then go for it.

[HairySherry]

I kind of know what you mean. There are times I feel like I've been doing something for my hair for so long and it's just not working so I get frustrated and feel like "what's the point?" But I have noticed an improvement in my length and overall condition, even if it's not much, so that helps spur me on. Plus it inspires me to try different things to see what it is my hair really likes best.

And I definitely know what you mean about never having your dream hair. No matter how long my hair gets, it will always be really thin. That bums me out - big time. But then I see threads about things like trimming to thicken ends, and it makes me feel like maybe there's hope.

Before I started LHC, I would wash and blowdry my hair every day. And my hair was at least 25" without putting much effort into caring for it. The advice I was given when I first started is to do what you like best, and what you feel looks best. It may not be the "healthiest" thing for your hair, but if you do everything that's "healthy" but you don't like the look of your hair, then what's the point? I'd love to be able to just let my hair air dry (which I do on weekends when I'm at home most of the time) but my hair looks awful like that, so I dry it. Is it what's best for my hair? Not necessarily, but I like the way my hair looks much better, which is the point.

Hang in there!

[firegypsy]

Yup, I hang here for tips on how to get it the healthiest, but I sure don't follow all of them! I think it's important (for me) to know what I'm doing. If I am doing something harmful, I want to know it-but it doesn't mean I'll stop! It just means I can make educated decisions on how to do it/frequency etc.

I had waist length hair and it was terribly abused. But it was still there! NO effort whatsoever. Now my goal is waist to hips and I'm being far more careful, but still shampoo almost every day because I LIKE A CLEAN HEAD!

[MissAlida]

I feel your pain. I don't use heat, never did, never will, but I shed alot, and my hair has gotten thin. Up until yesterday I tried everything...s&d, microtrims, wearing it up, wearing it down, wearing it half up, wearing it curly or straight or wavy. And then it hit me: I'm doing all these things, because I don't like the way my hair looks. I hate it. It looks pretty at few inches past APL. When it gets to BSL, bam...it looks thin and untamed, and gets tangled alot. So I got angry, and cut my hair. I cut layers in my own hair, and it ended up looking nice. Its just a bit past APL, and I used mousse today, and it looks big, and I have bouncy curls. I love it. It's shorter, it's farther away from my goal, but I feel good about it. And as you say it, we can't live in the future. We only have the present, and we should enjoy it. I'm not saying, that we should smoke or drink or use drugs on these pretences. But hair is just hair. It can be cut, it can be colored, but it will grow back. There are more important things than hair. Of course, it's better to keep everything simple and as natural as possible (ex. no harsh products, bleach, straighteners). But if those make you happy, then go for it. :D

[spidermom]

I think a lot of LHCers make sacrifices that way. The color I love or more length? Etc.
I'm still in the length game, although I know I'll have to sacrifice some to enjoy a week of sunning, swimming, and snorkeling in Mexico next month. Choices/choices.

[Cowgirl16]

Recently I've not been caring too much about my hair, I've went from using no heat to using it 3x a week and that's the minimum.. It's not at my goal length, I'd like it to be 3.5/4inches longer but I like it the way it is and I just feel like what's the point in spending so much time and energy on hair, it just feels silly now... I feel like there are soooo many more important things to invest my time and money in and I feel like what's the point in leaving my hair natural and putting it up all the time when I'd rather wear it down and straighten it but I can't because I'm focusing on my future hair and having it healthier in the future rather than having it how I want today. We don't even know if we'll get to have our dream hair, we could die tomorrow or get cancer and lose our hair or something which I know is extreme but still, I feel like I'm living in the future and I rather just enjoy my hair now... /sigh

Life is too short; hair grows; do what makes you happy and enjoy the journey :flower:

[Cowgirl16]

double post :whistle:

[akilina]

It sucks that I find my hair actually does better when I am straightening and doing all the other "evils" It is frustrating when we work so hard at something and come to realize it isn't a waste but almost ineffective.

[RedheadMistress]

- btw there are ways to straighten your hair without using heat ;)

[heidi w.]

There are ways to enjoy your hair now AND also keep working on having even more beautiful hair in the future. These are not mutually exclusive terms or ideas. You can do half up/down hairstyles; still wash hair with good techniques and products; persist in using oil on the length of hair, and so on. Avoid bad hair toys, etc.

I agree: there ARE more important things in life than hair. But I have found I can get all the important things done and have beautiful hair too. It's do-able. The point of creating pretty hair is that you know, then, that when you're dressed for the world, that you look nice, you present yourself looking the best you can.

I've gone up and done on the idea of wearing hair up and decorating it. There was a whole swath of years in a row that every day I'd get up and put my hair up, decorate it, make it match what I was wearing. Now, I'm at schlepping around and just putting my hair up. I don't even detangle it daily. I keep thinking about getting back in the habit of doing my hair, and then I wake up too late the next day to get started....oh well. When I have a job again, I will probably go back to putting my hair up in some neato updo every day.

Of all the things I would not do to your hair, applying heat is the one thing I'd recommend saying no to. Straightening hair can produce the most white dots and eventual damage throughout all the length. What about curling your hair with steam curlers? I bet that'd be really pretty on you; you might be surprised.

But it's your life and your hair, and if this is how you feel and what you want to do, who am I to influence you otherwise. I'm not living your life. It's ok to have different priorities than I do. Frankly, not everyone is meant to be a long-haired person.

heidi w.

[Dovetail]

I can only echo the great advice youve already gotten! Just do what you like! I straighten sometimes, if I feel like it, and i use my bbb to detangle, and on lazy days ill even use my paddle brush! :o I figure if im not happy, whats the point? I do try to take care to use oil or something to help condition it after some abuse, but its always held up and Im sure it will continue to.

Hedi is right as always ^-^ there are tons of ways tostraighten, and curl without heat so you can look how youd like, without all the damage.

[ratgirldjh]

I've pretty much never used heat except when my hair was short when I was young and I had to blow dry to get it to do the wedge thing.

But lately I have abandoned my all natural routines of YEARS and gone over to CO washing with cones no less.

At first I thought I was going over to the dark side... But really since I started using flouride on my teeth and MO on my hair and vaseline on my skin and all of these work better than anything else ever has (and I'm not allergic to them!) - I am starting to question 'natural' products really being better. :shrug: I'm so confused and feel guilty but getting over it (I hope).

eta: not to mention that all of these things are TESTED ON AMINALS... :( sigh

[akilina]

Thinking about it though after reading heidi w's post ...this statement in my own mind in the past has resulted in me having pretty damaged hair and chopping eventually.

But at the same time it is nice to enjoy your hair. Maybe you can find a happy medium. This bout has always been tough for me.

While I was in beauty college I was in an "i dont care anymore" mind set about my hair. I did things like shave both sides of my head and continued to shave one side for a year and a half (still growing out that side -__-), I went platinum blond twice, had my hair straightened or curled, teased and hair sprayed almost every day when we had down time and wanted to play.

It was fun, but I had to chop to CB a year ago because of "not caring anymore"

[HairySherry]

I can only echo the great advice youve already gotten! Just do what you like! I straighten sometimes, if I feel like it, and i use my bbb to detangle, and on lazy days ill even use my paddle brush! :o I figure if im not happy, whats the point? I do try to take care to use oil or something to help condition it after some abuse, but its always held up and Im sure it will continue to.

Hedi is right as always ^-^ there are tons of ways tostraighten, and curl without heat so you can look how youd like, without all the damage.

Isn't Heidi the best?? Her advice is always invaluable. I would love to know how to straighten without heat! I've often wondered if the thinness of my hair was a result of all the heat damage I've subjected it to over the years. It certainly couldn't have helped. The main reason I blow dry is because my hair is so ugly and goes in a million different whirly directions if I don't. If there's a way to straighten without heat, please share!!! :)

[heidi w.]

While there have been any number of LHC threads on straightening hair without heat, go to google, and type in "how to straighten hair without heat?" and you'll get a number of hits, most especially youtube videos regarding how to do this.

Don't forget steam curlers, either.

heidi w.

[tiarefleur]

I'm currently in a similar situation. I used to use heat 2x a week to straighten my hair (although I noticed you're a 1a/b...surely a flat iron isn't necessary?) and it grew just fine. When I started highlighting and coloring my hair all the time is when I noticed serious damage and had to chop ~6 inches. My biggest mistake was that chop. It was necessary, but it made it impossible for me to tame my natural hair without heat since it was much shorter. It looks decent curly but after the first day it feels and looks bad, so I have to put it up, and when I take it down it looks even worse...literally like wool. The result is a lot of brushing, combing, oiling, and manipulation that isn't necessary. When I straighten I have a hassle, tangle free 3 days in between washings and my hair never actually feels damaged. I think there are trade offs to each side, but I'm trying my best to do what's best in the long run.

[oktobergoud]

I'm in the same situation and I actually love it! :)

[Winnie!]

We all started growing out our hair because it is what we wanted at the time. If that is no longer your priority then don't worry about it. I know I will probably stop caring about my hair later on-interests change. Do what makes you happy for the here and now for that is what counts.

[luxepiggy]

Hair should be enjoyed! As long as it makes you happy, you're doing something right (^(oo)^)v

[HairySherry]

While there have been any number of LHC threads on straightening hair without heat, go to google, and type in "how to straighten hair without heat?" and you'll get a number of hits, most especially youtube videos regarding how to do this.

Don't forget steam curlers, either.

heidi w.

I don't know why I didn't think to search the boards first! I'll google as well, because watching videos is much more helpful to me than reading a list of instructions. Thanks for the tip!

[catamonica]

Just wear it how you want & enjoy it. I just bun it & forget about it. HarrySherry, try dehydrated minced onion, or dehydrated chopped onion. 1 capful in your shampoo. I read about it online. Ot makesd your hair ticker. I tried it. It does make your hair feel thicker. Hope this helps.

[henné]

I hear you.

I could not for example do the wear your hair up challenge as I can't enjoy my hair when it's all pinned to my skull. I can do that when I'm at work or around the house, but when I go out, I gotta wear it down ... I can't enjoy my hair unless it's loose and wild :D

I used to flat iron my hair at least 4 times a week some years ago and I had exactly zero visible damage. People kept stopping me in the streets complimenting me on my gorgeous hair. I took exactly zero care of my hair except for hennaying it ... I think henna is the ultimate conditioner/haircare tool. Haha, advocating for henna again while growing it out of my hair :D

Do what makes you happy ;)

[lmfbs]

There are ways to enjoy your hair now AND also keep working on having even more beautiful hair in the future. These are not mutually exclusive terms or ideas. You can do half up/down hairstyles; still wash hair with good techniques and products; persist in using oil on the length of hair, and so on. Avoid bad hair toys, etc.

I agree: there ARE more important things in life than hair. But I have found I can get all the important things done and have beautiful hair too. It's do-able. The point of creating pretty hair is that you know, then, that when you're dressed for the world, that you look nice, you present yourself looking the best you can.

I've gone up and done on the idea of wearing hair up and decorating it. There was a whole swath of years in a row that every day I'd get up and put my hair up, decorate it, make it match what I was wearing. Now, I'm at schlepping around and just putting my hair up. I don't even detangle it daily. I keep thinking about getting back in the habit of doing my hair, and then I wake up too late the next day to get started....oh well. When I have a job again, I will probably go back to putting my hair up in some neato updo every day.

Of all the things I would not do to your hair, applying heat is the one thing I'd recommend saying no to. Straightening hair can produce the most white dots and eventual damage throughout all the length. What about curling your hair with steam curlers? I bet that'd be really pretty on you; you might be surprised.

But it's your life and your hair, and if this is how you feel and what you want to do, who am I to influence you otherwise. I'm not living your life. It's ok to have different priorities than I do. Frankly, not everyone is meant to be a long-haired person.

^This.

I'm growing my hair, but I'm still enjoying it now. This is the last time in a long time my hair is going to be this lenght, so I need to love it while I can!

[HairySherry]

Just wear it how you want & enjoy it. I just bun it & forget about it. HarrySherry, try dehydrated minced onion, or dehydrated chopped onion. 1 capful in your shampoo. I read about it online. Ot makesd your hair ticker. I tried it. It does make your hair feel thicker. Hope this helps.

Ooh, I will definitely try this! Thanks!!

[catamonica]

Sorry HairySherry, about the misspelling.

[jacqueline101]

I think you have to decide what path you want to take. Its your hair do as you wish not what others wish.

[CurlyCurves]

Ha. Wish I could be so flippant about heat.

I know what you mean, though. I was just looking at some old photos of myself and got a bit of a pang that I can't do some of the stuff I used to. Sometimes I want to experiment.

But I value healthy hair very highly, closely followed by length, so it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

[vanillabones]

I'm in it for length, and for my hair that means no heat. I used to only ever blow dry it when I had long hair a long long time ago, and it was velcroy at BSL and BSL+... I want hip+ length hair so even though I enjoyed heat styling I don't think there is much that would ever posses me to straighten or blowfry again... it's just not worth it and with type 1 hair the difference to my eyes and reality really isn't that much different ;)
To each their own!

[sakuraemily]

I think most of us LHCers are just obsessed with our hair and thats why we put in so much time and money into it. There are phases though when I feel the way you do now and then they pass.