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jojo
July 22nd, 2012, 03:52 PM
I have been wondering why do people find growing hair such a rush? Ican understand those of us who have had hair cuts which are too short for our liking and wanting to get back to long hair quicker but why does it have to be some kind of competition who can grow the fastest?

Like I love photos, but even on these people will stand in a way which gives the impression there is longer than it really is! Why not just enjoy your hair and appreciate the length is? Your only cheating yourself really!

Maybe I have just reached a stage in my hair growth journey that I just enjoy my hair as it is:shrug: but I do think sometimes we all need to take a step back and really appreciate that we are healthy, we have hair that reflects that. Some people don't have that luck be it due to alopecia or hair loss due to chemo and other medications.

I was nursing a lady last night who has terminal cancer and she commented on my hair, it just made me think how vain and competitive we are all guilty of at times. She was laying there with no hair, on constant strong opioids not knowing how much time she has left , it just made me realise how precious our health is.

I suppose my message here is appreciate whatever length you are, no matter how much frizz no matter how slow or quick it grows, your alive and healthy.

Am I the only one to feel this way?

MeowScat
July 22nd, 2012, 04:03 PM
I like your post, it's a great reminder that there are much more important things than hair length.

It's all too easy to get wrapped up with obsessing over it.

Thanks for the reality check. I'm gonna go hug my cats and hubby and call my Mom to see how she's doing. xoxo

coneyisland
July 22nd, 2012, 04:08 PM
You are absolutely right. :applause

ladylowtide
July 22nd, 2012, 04:08 PM
Thanks for sharing your perspective. Sometimes I can get the grass is greener syndrome. Your post reminded me that I should just be thankful that I have grass to grow.

briles
July 22nd, 2012, 04:08 PM
While I would love to be at my goal length and health growing my hair is a lot more than an end result. I have some health issues that cause massive shedding and I am recovering from Trichotillomania. The pampering and care of my hair is a daily act of acceptance, health, and self love.

This is a really lovely post jojo.

FrannyG
July 22nd, 2012, 04:11 PM
I agree with you completely, Jojo. I remember that even when I was growing out of a pixie, I didn't find it all that painful. I just didn't think about it.

I will admit that I was craving length for the first nine months or so that I was here at LHC, but it wasn't worth it. I wasn't trimming properly and my ends were in a mess. I had to cut back quite a bit of pre-LHC damage. 5 inches, I think. By that time, I knew how quickly hair grows and it didn't bother me.

I try to stand the same way in all my photos. I balance a book on my head for consistency before the photos are taken (can't believe I admitted that :silly:). However there was one notable time that I didn't and I ended up leaning a bit forward. It did make my next progress picture look like I'd grown more than I had, but I did have my measurements, at least.

I'm in no hurry, as should be quite obvious, given my current length.

I understand though how it feels to be new to LHC and feel that urgency about growing. I think it's something that passes for most people, in time. I know I have been much happier since I lost the initial obsession. And now, I really do love my hair, whatever the length. :)

IndigoOptimist
July 22nd, 2012, 04:13 PM
I agree. I like growing my hair out, it's all I will ever do. I posted on another thread earlier about this. I personally, will never stop growing my hair, even if I reach my goal length. I like how rewarding it can be, I like taking pictures and comparing the new ones to ones from the months before, I like the different stages of my hair and how it behaves at different lengths.
However, although I can be very vein, I know that there are more important things in life. I'm not about to take pictures which give the illusion of more growth because I don't care that much that I need to trick myself/others into thinking my hair is longer. What is more important to me is that I have a happy life and that the people around me are all ok. Hair is a tiny part of my existence really ;)

Dragon Faery
July 22nd, 2012, 04:19 PM
Thank you for the reality check!

I think I get in a rush at times because long healthy hair is something I've always wanted but never had. I mean, it's been long, but never healthy; and I was always forced to cut it (by others) due to damage. I think my immpatience is a reaction to that old frustration at times. But you're right. I have hair, it's growing; and while I have health issues they aren't as bad as a lot of people's. So yay. :)

arcane
July 22nd, 2012, 04:20 PM
For me focusing on my hair keeps me from focusing on a lot of the hard things in my life. I'm dealing with a lot right now, and instead of being frustrated that I can barely function in everyday life and feeling hopeless, I take it out on my hair. My hair is my distraction. Instead of getting down about how I couldn't work for 7 months, I was frustrated with my hair length. I'm naturally a very pessimisstic person, but having something as trivial as hair to feel bad about has helped me deal with the rest of my life, which has allowed me to get better as I don't have all these negative emotions tied up with that part of me life. I try to hold my head the same as, really, I'm not trying to impress people on the internet with my hair length, as ultimatly I'm the one living with the hair.

Sure one day I'll love to just enjoy my hair, but right now that isn't going to happen.

browneyedsusan
July 22nd, 2012, 04:24 PM
nope. I'm with you.

Thanks for saying it out loud. :)

Amber_Maiden
July 22nd, 2012, 04:31 PM
With you as well.

pepperminttea
July 22nd, 2012, 04:32 PM
Has there been that much competition? I feel silly for not having noticed anything; just celebrating each others milestones and living vicariously through each other. I think most of us have claimed a milestone a little early at some point, by our wispiest ends.

But thanks for the reminder; we have much to be grateful for, and goodness knows health is a big one on that list. :)

Tabitha
July 22nd, 2012, 04:33 PM
Great post Jojo. I agree with every word. :flowers:

And bless you for nursing the dying. It's not an easy job.

afu
July 22nd, 2012, 04:39 PM
I agree with your post, we are so lucky to even have the opportunity and luxury of growing our hair. For me it's not about length really (yes i have a goal length, but when i get there i get there) I don't measure or take photos normally, its mainly about the health.

I love LHC becaue it is so much more than hair, it introduces you to new concepts in many areas of life and theres the opportunity to talk to so many different people. Thats what I like. Nowadays when I log in it isn't even the hair threads I go directly to!

cldunzie0215
July 22nd, 2012, 04:46 PM
i see all these beautiful braids and hairstyles and my hair is not long enough for them )':

jojo
July 22nd, 2012, 04:47 PM
Thanks for all the quick replies. We're all guilty of it, it's a long hair forum at the end of the day. We have goals, we all want beautiful hair of course we do we wouldn't be here else. It was just looking at that lady last night and seeing her hanging onto her life which it really hit home, like is it really important how fast we grow or how wavy/curly/ straight our hair is?

I totally understand too how hair can be a wonderful distraction for those of us with other issues in our lives. I hope I don't come across as being picky or trying to start a debate that is not my intention. Just wanting to say hair isn't the be all and end all :)

MintChocChip
July 22nd, 2012, 04:47 PM
Nicely put! :) I couldn't have put it better myself. What a thought provoking post and a much needed reality check!

Tia2010
July 22nd, 2012, 04:48 PM
Thanks for the reminder :)

I'll admit..I'm very impatient. I've never had hair to tailbone so I get excited for it to happpen RIGHT NOW !! But you're right, I should focus on enjoying each stage.

I will try. :)

jojo
July 22nd, 2012, 04:50 PM
i see all these beautiful braids and hairstyles and my hair is not long enough for them )':

I'd rather be bald and have good health over a beautiful braid or bun any day, this is my whole point hair is not the ultimate in being happy in life! We have all had shorter hair at some point, concentrate on what matters and the hair will come!:)

jojo
July 22nd, 2012, 04:53 PM
i see all these beautiful braids and hairstyles and my hair is not long enough for them )':


Thanks for the reminder :)

I'll admit..I'm very impatient. I've never had hair to tailbone so I get excited for it to happpen RIGHT NOW !! But you're right, I should focus on enjoying each stage.

I will try. :)

We all are guilty of it, we all are vain in wanting beautiful hair, we all post the best photos which show our hair at its best and patience is hard when you want something so badly but it grows.

Nursing palliative care patients really has made me appreciate what really is important.:)

catamonica
July 22nd, 2012, 04:55 PM
It took years to get my hair real long. I feel very blessed to get it as long as I have. If it grows more or doesn't that's okay. I'm just happy to have long hair.

afu
July 22nd, 2012, 04:59 PM
snip..

I totally understand too how hair can be a wonderful distraction for those of us with other issues in our lives.

My hair is totally a distraction! I'm the kind of person who is happy when looking after other people or other things. At the moment I'm stuck writing up a postgrad thesis in the middle of nowhere with my SO living 8hrs away, my dogs with my mum and my horse out on loan because i can't afford her. My hair gets the looking after for the moment!

akilina
July 22nd, 2012, 04:59 PM
It is definitely irritating when people come here and try to compete or lie and say their hair grows 2 inches a month just to make others jealous. Or when you can BLUNTLY tell that someone has put in extensions and is pretending it is their real growth.
I am in a rush for hair growth because I simply have never achieved it and it makes me sad to think that I may never will.

Sarahlabyrinth
July 22nd, 2012, 04:59 PM
Bless you Jojo for what you do. Your job must be so difficult at times, and rewarding in other ways. You get to see people with out all the pretenses and masks of daily life.

And hair is not what matters in life....thank you for your post.

Tia2010
July 22nd, 2012, 05:00 PM
We all are guilty of it, we all are vain in wanting beautiful hair, we all post the best photos which show our hair at its best and patience is hard when you want something so badly but it grows.

Nursing palliative care patients really has made me appreciate what really is important.:)

I commend you for the work you do, Jojo.. I know I could never do it. And you're so right..Sometimes I get so wrapped up that I fail to see how blessed I really am. It's a good lesson and I needed it today :)

earthnut
July 22nd, 2012, 05:01 PM
When I was growing out from a buzz cut, I couldn't wait to get to ponytail length, because my curls never lay right at short lengths. But once I reached ponytail, I was in no rush at all. I've been "growing out" my hair from ponytail for 8 years now! lol! I'll reach waist some day but I'm in no rush.

Carolyn
July 22nd, 2012, 05:01 PM
What a great post, JoJo! When I was growing from my horrid shoulder length cut I remember being in such a hurry for it to be longer once again. I realize now I didn't pause along the way and try to enjoy it as it grew. I just cursed it for now growing faster. I wish I had made an effort to enjoy the shoulder to arm pit to mid back range. Now I'm back to between mid back and waist and am not caring how fast it grows. I'm enjoying it so much more now that I'm not wanting that one more inch of length.

Yes I see a lot of mentions of growing competition here. I see a lot of bragging about getting an inch or more of growth per month. I just back out of those threads. Competition is not what I am here for and if I read threads like that it makes me feel really bad.

PetuniaBlossom
July 22nd, 2012, 05:02 PM
Jojo, thanks for this wonderful reality check. It is good to remember the old adage, "I cried because I had no shoes, and then I met a man with no feet."

AnnaJamila
July 22nd, 2012, 05:03 PM
:o That was a good reminder. Thank you.

jojo
July 22nd, 2012, 05:03 PM
I agree with you completely, Jojo. I remember that even when I was growing out of a pixie, I didn't find it all that painful. I just didn't think about it.

I will admit that I was craving length for the first nine months or so that I was here at LHC, but it wasn't worth it. I wasn't trimming properly and my ends were in a mess. I had to cut back quite a bit of pre-LHC damage. 5 inches, I think. By that time, I knew how quickly hair grows and it didn't bother me.

I try to stand the same way in all my photos. I balance a book on my head for consistency before the photos are taken (can't believe I admitted that :silly:). However there was one notable time that I didn't and I ended up leaning a bit forward. It did make my next progress picture look like I'd grown more than I had, but I did have my measurements, at least.

I'm in no hurry, as should be quite obvious, given my current length.

I understand though how it feels to be new to LHC and feel that urgency about growing. I think it's something that passes for most people, in time. I know I have been much happier since I lost the initial obsession. And now, I really do love my hair, whatever the length. :)
I am the same, once the initial obsession passes you do feel more happier, I love my hair too

Has there been that much competition? I feel silly for not having noticed anything; just celebrating each others milestones and living vicariously through each other. I think most of us have claimed a milestone a little early at some point, by our wispiest ends.

But thanks for the reminder; we have much to be grateful for, and goodness knows health is a big one on that list. :)
well we have photo threads, monthly measuring threads, I've grown 6" in ten minutes, etc etc for those experiencing problems with growing hair due to health or personal reasons it can be disheartening for them, we are sometimes too wrapped up in our selves to realise not everybody is as fortunate:)

Great post Jojo. I agree with every word. :flowers:

And bless you for nursing the dying. It's not an easy job. it is hard at times but it's such a rewarding job at times and it does give me a reality check and feel so guilty for being a grump over a trivial matter and then I see them smiling despite all there problems. I feel very privilidged to be in such a wonderful job x x

millyaulait
July 22nd, 2012, 05:19 PM
You're so right.. :)

I lost my hair before while my health plummeted.

Every inch I've gotten back just makes me so happy that I am impatient to get to a goal length.

I think way too much about my hair, and how to speed up its growth but it's mostly because I just want to be 'the old me' again.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being absorbed in your hair, or how fast it grows, etc.

It is always good to take a step back though even if it's just to say 'Hey, my hair might not be TBL but it's here, and it's growing..' :)

My health is still really poor but my hair gives me something to focus on & it makes me happy and keeps me distracted (when it isn't shedding or breaking!).

There are definitely more important things than hair but we are on LHC afterall. :)

elbow chic
July 22nd, 2012, 05:28 PM
Amen. Great post. I think it's the kind of thing that comes with age and/or experience. God knows there've been times in my life when I was petty and discontent, with no real reason to be. I should know better-- but lose perspective so often still!

As to my hair, once I hit BSL I was like, if it never grows another inch, I'm actually very satisfied with what I have. But now I tranfer all that dissatisfied angst to my "fat." (I do have a bit of chub, but my God, also incredible good health and fortune!)

jojo
July 22nd, 2012, 05:36 PM
My hair is totally a distraction! I'm the kind of person who is happy when looking after other people or other things. At the moment I'm stuck writing up a postgrad thesis in the middle of nowhere with my SO living 8hrs away, my dogs with my mum and my horse out on loan because i can't afford her. My hair gets the looking after for the moment! good luck with your thesis, i remember so well doing mine, it will be worth it in the end. You need a distraction, it must be hard living away from home and those you love


What a great post, JoJo! When I was growing from my horrid shoulder length cut I remember being in such a hurry for it to be longer once again. I realize now I didn't pause along the way and try to enjoy it as it grew. I just cursed it for now growing faster. I wish I had made an effort to enjoy the shoulder to arm pit to mid back range. Now I'm back to between mid back and waist and am not caring how fast it grows. I'm enjoying it so much more now that I'm not wanting that one more inch of length.

Yes I see a lot of mentions of growing competition here. I see a lot of bragging about getting an inch or more of growth per month. I just back out of those threads. Competition is not what I am here for and if I read threads like that it makes me feel really bad.
glad to see its not just me, it shouldn't be a competition and it is so disheartening for those experiencing problems with hair. I don't read them no more, though I do like anniversary threads as I see them as inspirational:)

:o That was a good reminder. Thank you. we all need a reminder at times, it's human nature to compare our hair with others but when it becomes a "my hair is much better at growing than anybody else's" thread it becomes a competition.

Vanille_
July 22nd, 2012, 05:37 PM
Benign neglect is the best thing I have learned here. I put my hair in a bun almost everyday and months go by and it gets longer. I've stopped taking pictures all the time.

SerinaDaith
July 22nd, 2012, 06:11 PM
I am obsessively waiting for my hair to get to ponytail length so that I can start putting it up and benignly ignoring it. I am growing about an inch a month right now but it is summer. Mid March I had a major chop to my chin and now I am just brushing shoulder. I am sorry if that statement is offencive to anyone, I know I will be lucky to get a quarter inch of growth come winter. I am trying to learn to love my hair as it is and accept that BSL or just a touch past may well be my terminal length.
I know that hair is not the end all be all of existance and I am glad that I am not the only one thinking it. I will try to work out how to get same angle growth shots from here on out so that nobody thinks I am "cheating".
I do not envy you your job but bless you for being there!

swearnsue
July 22nd, 2012, 06:22 PM
I'm in a rush for my hair to grow, I admit. I feel like if my hair was long I would have tons of confidence and not be so darn shy. I like your post jojo because it puts everything in perspective. Thank you.

Winnie!
July 22nd, 2012, 07:57 PM
I love this perspective so much. I'll be the first to admit that I often get so caught up in my own problems that I forget how truly blessed I am. My problems are not big issues right now. That can change at any time though. Thank you for reminding me of this.

FrozenBritannia
July 22nd, 2012, 09:06 PM
So true OP. Even when my hair was looking really horrid and blotchy and uneven, I was just so thankful that it was growing back at all. Even now, when I mutter about wishing it would grow a bit faster, I am still so thankful its even there at all. :flower:

LaurelSpring
July 22nd, 2012, 09:32 PM
When you are young. It feels like you have all of the time in the world for your hair to grow, but when you get older and start to count up the years it could take to get to a certain length that you would like to experience while you are alive and can still enjoy it, then some impatience my arise.

jeanniet
July 22nd, 2012, 09:37 PM
It's easy to get hung up on growth, but I always try to remind myself that it's just hair and getting there is what's fun and interesting. I have a friend whose teenage daughter has alopecia, so I know how much just having any hair can mean. Health is way more important than anything else.

MeganE
July 22nd, 2012, 10:05 PM
Well, from a psychological perspective, hair is an indicator of our health, which the opposite sex takes into account when doing their instinctual size up of our potentially reproductive fitness. And reproduction is one of the basic needs of the body, just like food. Just like water. Individuals can survive without it, the species can't. In a way, this forum is giving life to people, by helping to meet those very deep human needs.

Debra83
July 22nd, 2012, 10:15 PM
I'm always counting my blessings. I'm very thankful for all the wonderful people in my life, and for what I've been able to enjoy. Life has been hard for me and mine compared to other people's lives I see around me...but, even saying that, I KNOW it can be even worse. I'm on this hair journey as a distraction from the everyday...a vacation from life....something fun and easy to focus on. Kinda like a craft, but uses less energy that I don't really have to put into a real life hobby or sport right now. It was supposed to be a form of "cheap" entertainment for me, but that part kinda backfired when I got sucked in to all the tricks of the trade. I've never really been a girlie girl, just dabbled in stuff along the way....but I'm quite enjoying this little hobby, and managed to do a couple of things I would never have cared to try a couple of years ago.

Plus, I'm very thankful for the people who post in this forum and share a wide variety of opinions and advice. I've definitely enjoyed you guys, and think of this place as a type of "world" all on its own.

It's been a pleasure for me which is why I'm continuing on this journey. I feel sad for the people who have left as they probably did not experience the same joy I've felt here, which I find hard to imagine.

sugarpixie10988
July 22nd, 2012, 10:17 PM
I completely agree! When I got my hair cut to chin length a few years ago, I couldn't wait to grow it out. I really wished it would grow faster then, and it seemed to take forever. Around APL I stopped caring as much, as it was long enough to put up and ignore. It seems to grow faster now that I don't obsess over how fast it grows, even though it probably grows at the same rate. Sometimes I do catch myself wishing my hair was hip length, but if it grew to hip overnight I think after the newness wore off I'd be disappointed. I seem to enjoy tests of patience (When I played WoW I'd do long, tedious grinds all the time and like it!), so I just see my hair as another one of those tests.

jojo
July 23rd, 2012, 01:14 AM
Well, from a psychological perspective, hair is an indicator of our health, which the opposite sex takes into account when doing their instinctual size up of our potentially reproductive fitness. And reproduction is one of the basic needs of the body, just like food. Just like water. Individuals can survive without it, the species can't. In a way, this forum is giving life to people, by helping to meet those very deep human needs.

I love your wording of your last sentence regarding the forum, that's sums it up beautifully.

Shiranshoku
July 23rd, 2012, 01:44 AM
For me, it's not the competition and measuring and perhaps by accident-on purpose misleading posing at photos that makes me wonder, sometimes. I feel that in a lot of cases, that's part of the fun of the journey. Not everyone that keeps track of his or her growth is trying to rush things, it's just very nice to see actual growth. So I don't take that too seriously.

It's the questions like 'what does growing your hair mean for you' and 'why are you growing your hair' that sometimes make me frown. Some of those answers really 'shocked' me, because it shows how incredibly important that hair is for some people. I mean... For me, making so big a deal out of that shows a great deal more vanity than tilting your head up to gain an extra half an inch.

Don't get me wrong, I can imagine growing your hair meaning more than just decoration atop your head... And it's hard to put into words what I mean :) But you're healthy, and you're growing your hair, and it's pretty... And that's that. For me, at least.

To make a comparison, say that this was a cooking forum. And we had threads with pictures about our perfect soufflés etc, with special lighting to make them look better, ... That would be rather superficial if you thought about all those people who are starving right now.

But to me, threads that talked about the special meaning the food had for us, and how it was empowering to cook, ... would be adding insult to injury.

I hope my posts makes at least a little bit sense. It's hard to explain myself, sometimes.

PeaceTeaRules
July 23rd, 2012, 02:30 AM
Nice!! Thank you for the grounding reality check there... Not that I've been obsessed or anything... :o Yeah I had been obsessed...

We all get wrapped up in something one time or another... and a tiny reality check is always a fresh place to pick up reality at...

... not that my comment makes sense... :D

bunzfan
July 23rd, 2012, 02:30 AM
Your right about there is more in life to worry about than our hair maybe your are at at length that your now happy with, i'm much happier now its much longer to and i'm not quite so impatient as i was:D

didrash
July 23rd, 2012, 03:20 AM
Well, it is because it is something we want, and it is human nature to want things to happen fast :). If one has reached a goal that is comfortable and makes them feel good, then I suppose it is no rush. But when you really, really want that classic length hair... well, 3 years seem like eternity :).
As for head-tilting... I think it is rarely done on purpose. Maybe subconsciously people wished they were already there, or think it looks more flattering that way. I do not give it any importance.

Ticky
July 23rd, 2012, 03:48 AM
I think that some people don't have a lot of patience. I am not a very patient person, either. However, since I have been having a lot of health issues in the past couple of years, I am just happy that I still have all of my hair.

I think that people who are trying to reach a goal that is far from their current length should try to enjoy the journey, all the fun styles that can be done on shorter hair, shorter drying time, all that. :)

Savvyhorsez
July 23rd, 2012, 04:26 AM
Because it's not long enough yet, my hair grows so slow, only 4 inches a year. I miss my long hair and I want to make up for the times that I have cut it. Just a simple reason as that.

CurlyMopTop
July 23rd, 2012, 04:38 AM
Very nice post Jojo! In the end, it is just hair. I agree with you, I'd rather be bald and healthy than have long hair and be sick. :D

Bene
July 23rd, 2012, 05:57 AM
I just smirk to myself when I see the weird neck angles. I don't know if it's intentional, but it does look funny. And awkward. But, I'm sure no one would take kindly to me telling them "Dude, you're trying too hard. You look silly. Stop it" And hey, who am I to tell them that it's sooooo obvious that they're trying too hard. I may want to. Oh man, do I want to, but it'll just make the poor dears even more tweaky and desperate than they already are. :laugh:

But, for the record, we do notice. You aren't fooling anyone, just yourself.


About the need to want to rush things along, I can relate. But it does no good to get worked up over it. Hair grows at its own rate. Everything in its own time. Be a leaf in the wind and blah blah blah.




This is how I went about the nasty business of watching paint dry:

I found it easier to set minor goals. I was at 23 inches (roughly APL) when I decided to grow my hair long, and my first goal was 27 inches. I did that because 4 inches seemed totally possible. No stress. Just wait it out. Of course I'd get all ansty about it not happening overnight, and it's so easy to get frustrated over that, watching hair grow is not exactly the most instantly gratifying of endeavors. So, I found other things to distract me.

I read up on treatments and vitamins and on the chemistry of what makes hair happy. I would pick one thing that looked interesting and then researched the f**k out of it. That search function, yes, it works. I read what other people had already discussed, and looked at all the duplicate threads, and all the misguided answers that noobs give each other. And all the sullen, but sensible, advice that the older peeps shared whenever they dropped by to see how the little people lived. And to snicker when some of older peeps gave information as if what they said was absolute, self-evident fact. Even though it was misguided and wrong :D


I experimented A LOT. I tried out oils and products and tools, I amassed this rather impressive hair toy collection. I developed certain tastes and preferences about HOW I want to care for my hair, not just focusing on growing it out.


When I hit my first goal, I decided it didn't feel long enough, so I set my goal to 30 inches (waist). When I got there, it didn't feel long enough, so I set my goal to 35 and then to 40. Whenever I hit my current goal, I'll see if it feels long enough. If it doesn't feel long enough, I'll set a goal that's possible and foreseeable. Baby steps.


I see people with chin length hair whose goal says knee. That has got to be frustrating. Why not start out small? Choose a feasible goal, learn what it feels like to accomplish shoulder instead of aiming for knee right away. Savor that minor victory. Use the waiting time to gather information and actually learn something. Again, that search function, it exists. It's your friend.

BrownEyedBeauty
July 23rd, 2012, 06:18 AM
My current goal length that I have set is a length that I have had in the past that I was very happy with. So I know what it is like to have had it and to no longer have it. Wanting to get back to that length has left me feeling very rushed in the past. I find that lately, I am feeling much more relaxed and less rushed as I get closer to my goal length. I was feeling much more rushed at shorter lengths.

I totally agree though, that we should appreciate the fact that we have our health and that our goal length timeline is secondary.

browneyedsusan
July 23rd, 2012, 06:27 AM
mild hijack:
re: wierd neck angles--for me, it's hard to take a picture of myself while turning my head away from the camera. I take 10 pics and my neck looks crazy in 9 of them, so I use the shot where it's most normal looking--still not great, but at least not super wierd.... Maybe others are having similiar difficulty?

end of hijack :D

kitschy
July 23rd, 2012, 06:28 AM
I think there is a competitive nature is many, if not most, people. Some on LHC see growing hair, whether it is length, or speed, or thickness, or sleekness, or curliness as a competition......I win, I win.:joy:

In actuality, we are only in competition with ourselves since we all have different strengths, weaknesses and attributes. Life is much better when we recognize our own uniqueness.

Mesmerise
July 23rd, 2012, 06:35 AM
I think there is a competitive nature is many, if not most, people. Some on LHC see growing hair, whether it is length, or speed, or thickness, or sleekness, or curliness as a competition......I win, I win.:joy:

In actuality, we are only in competition with ourselves since we all have different strengths, weaknesses and attributes. Life is much better when we recognize our own uniqueness.

Yes, I agree! There's no way I can compete with many of the people here... certainly not in length (and I never will, as my goal length just isn't THAT long), nor in thickness, or curliness, or straightness, or... well... anything. All I can do is make MY hair the best it can be!

kitschy
July 23rd, 2012, 06:35 AM
....and about the weird neck angles....my signature picture looks like a weird neck angle for some reason. I hesitated using this particular picture because I assumed everyone would think my head is tilted backwards, but I decided to use it because it shows my waist better than my other pictures. Now I'm feeling like I should change it out, like I'm trying to fake something I'm not. My hair is waist length in all my pictures, but since you can't see my neck (because of my hair) I think they all look a bit odd.

Mesmerise
July 23rd, 2012, 06:47 AM
....and about the weird neck angles....my signature picture looks like a weird neck angle for some reason. I hesitated using this particular picture because I assumed everyone would think my head is tilted backwards, but I decided to use it because it shows my waist better than my other pictures. Now I'm feeling like I should change it out, like I'm trying to fake something I'm not. My hair is waist length in all my pictures, but since you can't see my neck (because of my hair) I think they all look a bit odd.

Well, yeah, it does kinda look like your head is tilted back ;). I just put it down to the effort required to take a decent picture of the back of your head, while holding a camera in a position that actually gets the shot you want! I've pretty much given up trying to take pics of my own hair... I generally enlist the help of a kid to do it instead (although I'm sure they wanna know why on earth they have to photograph the back of mum's head!).

Anyway, I don't really care how other people put their heads/necks in photos. Hair is as long as it is. I'm not sure why anyone would bother faking?! The only person you're actually cheating is yourself!

FrannyG
July 23rd, 2012, 07:00 AM
....and about the weird neck angles....my signature picture looks like a weird neck angle for some reason. I hesitated using this particular picture because I assumed everyone would think my head is tilted backwards, but I decided to use it because it shows my waist better than my other pictures. Now I'm feeling like I should change it out, like I'm trying to fake something I'm not. My hair is waist length in all my pictures, but since you can't see my neck (because of my hair) I think they all look a bit odd.
Your photo is lovely. Don't change it. It's hard to take self-photos, and we've all had photos where we're either tilted forward or backward slightly. It would be a shame to remove your beautiful picture for that reason. I don't look at it and think that you're trying to fool me or anyone else. It looks like most self-photos.

Amethyste
July 23rd, 2012, 07:12 AM
The beauty of this forum is that it amass different people from different parts of the world to focus on one thing: hair. Of course you'll get the impatient, the "already at their goal length" people, the "ugh, grow faster" people, the "Look at me and my beautiful hair people". Luckily, I am able to not view a thread if I don't feel like it. Though it is a nice reminder, some people focus on their hair because they never had what you have (your already long hair and beautiful updos you all do) and just want to get there too... It's a normal thing I think. I live and let live.

Nae
July 23rd, 2012, 07:41 AM
@Kitchy, you are a curly, don't worry about accidentally adding extra length with a picture, we all know your length is there just curled up and makes you look like your hair is shorter than it is already. Getting a good back o' da head shot is dicey any day, especially when you are doing it by yourself.

On the actual topic. I was in a rush when I got here, I had a horrible pixie that I just hated, now I am feeling pretty zen about the whole thing. I feel as though I have learned all I need to know about haircare at this point, I am just here for the friendships I have made with all you other crazy hair people!! Otherwise I think I would have lost interest in this forum a long time ago.

Louise148
July 23rd, 2012, 07:54 AM
I'm where you used to be Nae :). I am currently growing out a pixie and so I am currently in a hurry. I have been measuring it to see what rate it grows at and I am pretty much bang on average at 1/2 inch a month but in reality it feels like it is taking forever.

I can't wait for the time when I will feel all 'zen' about it. Sounds like a good place to be. :D

Maverick494
July 23rd, 2012, 09:52 AM
I have obsessive tendencies, which is why avoided measuring growth rate and collecting shed hairs. I also don't measure a lot, basically once every 3 months (or half year). I also am very picky, which means I want to maintain a blunt hemline throughout my hair journey. This is hard to do as it's easy to cut off too much, which makes me impatient allover again. Plus it made me unsatisfied with my own hair because I was always comparing it to something more ideal (in my eyes.)

So last may I decided I was going for the benign neglect route. I basically taught myself a few hair stick/fork buns and put my hair up that way most of the time. And seriously, it's helped so much. I don't worry about what my hair looks like, how long it is, none of it.

Sometimes we really do need a reality check. I know a girl who spent so much time behind the computer reading gossip sites and seeing pictures of perfect models she contemplated getting her forehead botoxed because of a few faint lines (that you basically need binoculars to see). I took her on a trip for a week without any computers and she felt so much better about herself.

MrsGuther
July 23rd, 2012, 10:00 AM
It is definitely irritating when people come here and try to compete or lie and say their hair grows 2 inches a month just to make others jealous. Or when you can BLUNTLY tell that someone has put in extensions and is pretending it is their real growth.
I am in a rush for hair growth because I simply have never achieved it and it makes me sad to think that I may never will.

Im with you on this^^^^^
There was a person on LHC recently claiming some ridiculous amount of hair growth in 5 months... I was rather irritated. Nobody goes from shoulder to waist length in five months. People are liars on here sometimes!! And to top it all off they kept pushing their stupid hair growth lie and even put it on their sig pic. Grow up people! Lol. And to clarify I don't think this person had extensions... Just lied abut the dates of their pics IMHO.

LaFlor
July 23rd, 2012, 10:05 AM
I've never officially measured my hair and I try not to think too much about what length it's at and just kind of try to enjoy it at it's current length and health.

BUT it's so hard sometimes when I get a case of hair envy... it's like "wouldn't that be fun to have hip length hair... I want to try it RIGHT now!" At the end of the day though I try to keep my goals small and find new things to enjoy about my hair at the length I'm at.

But the OP is completey right... thank you for the reality check :flower:

spidermom
July 23rd, 2012, 10:13 AM
I see what you're saying, but it doesn't apply to me. When I get obsessed about something, it's not so easy as telling myself to stop it. My ruminations have a life of their own.

dwell_in_safety
July 23rd, 2012, 12:22 PM
To me, there is great joy just in taking good care of my hair and sharing the journey with other people on LHC. That's what having long hair is all about, for me. My hair is already considered long by most right now, and though to me it's not really long at all, I still very much enjoy keeping it in far better condition than it was in during my pre-LHC days. This forum teaches appreciation for all parts of the journey, and I love it for that.

Deborah
July 23rd, 2012, 12:39 PM
I haven't noticed competitiveness with respect to growth or length, probably because I just believe what people say has happened or is happening to their hair, and I certainly never thought anyone was trying to make anyone else jealous. I hope we can all be happy for one another for hair success of any sort.

Why would anyone lie? This is supposed to be about supporting one another in doing the best we can with our hair. If someone says their hair grows 1/8th inch per month, I believe them. If someone says their hair grows 4 inches per month, I believe them too, and am happy for them. What sense would there be to their lying about it? My own hair grows very, very fast, just because it does. I don't do anything to cause it; it just happens, so I can easily believe that some others have hair that grows much faster than average too. Maybe we could try to be less judgmental towards one another.

Now, IF someone is lying about these things, I'll not likely catch on, as I assume they are telling the truth. But let's say they are lying. Should we deem and label them liars and castigate them? I don't think so. Some hurt or pain is probably behind the exaggeration or lie, so I vote that we (a) don't decide that they are lying, and (b) don't decide they are trying to make us jealous or any such thing. We don't know the motivation of anyone but ourselves, so why assume the worst about others?

johnnystiletto
July 23rd, 2012, 01:25 PM
Great post, OP!!

I actually haven't updated my picture since I joined YEARS ago. Mainly because I CANNOT finagle a way to take a decent self-portrait of my hair without having to bend in a totally unnatural way. Well, that and because I'm lazy :)

I don't measure each month, either. I almost always have my hair up; I finally realized it was "long" when I would take it down (usually to smooth the hair and immediately put it back up), and people would comment on its length!

To me, the health of my hair (and my mind, body & soul) will always come before length!

kitschy
July 23rd, 2012, 01:53 PM
I haven't noticed competitiveness with respect to growth or length, probably because I just believe what people say has happened or is happening to their hair, and I certainly never thought anyone was trying to make anyone else jealous. I hope we can all be happy for one another for hair success of any sort.

Why would anyone lie? This is supposed to be about supporting one another in doing the best we can with our hair. If someone says their hair grows 1/8th inch per month, I believe them. If someone says their hair grows 4 inches per month, I believe them too, and am happy for them. What sense would there be to their lying about it? My own hair grows very, very fast, just because it does. I don't do anything to cause it; it just happens, so I can easily believe that some others have hair that grows much faster than average too. Maybe we could try to be less judgmental towards one another.

Now, IF someone is lying about these things, I'll not likely catch on, as I assume they are telling the truth. But let's say they are lying. Should we deem and label them liars and castigate them? I don't think so. Some hurt or pain is probably behind the exaggeration or lie, so I vote that we (a) don't decide that they are lying, and (b) don't decide they are trying to make us jealous or any such thing. We don't know the motivation of anyone but ourselves, so why assume the worst about others?

I'm sorry, but I value truth. I dislike being lied to in any situation. I am not a member and avid reader, sometimes poster, so that I can be mislead by someone, regardless of motivation.

A standard where everyone gets to have their own rendition of truth leads to chaos. If I post a picture with my hair at my chin and call it BSL, then what is the standard for naming something BSL? If I say my hair grows a foot a month, don't you think I should be questioned about it - or at least be expected to post proof? If not, then why read or believe anything at all? I don't get it.:rolleyes:

KittyBird
July 23rd, 2012, 02:57 PM
it is hard at times but it's such a rewarding job at times and it does give me a reality check and feel so guilty for being a grump over a trivial matter and then I see them smiling despite all there problems. I feel very privilidged to be in such a wonderful job x x

I work in a nursing home, and I get the same reality check from my job. Working with sick, old people has made me realise that there are more important things in life than having long hair and being skinny and pretty. I have lots of imperfections, but I'm healthy and happy, I have a job I love and I'm generally a very lucky girl.
I'd love to have tailbone length hair, but I'm pretty happy with being a few centimetres away from waist length too. I'll get there someday ;)

moon2dove
July 23rd, 2012, 03:13 PM
Great post jojo :)

vindo
July 23rd, 2012, 04:19 PM
I agree, growing hair can be a competition of who has the longest, silkiest, thickest, fastest growing, least damaged...you named it :lol:.

The journey should be enjoyable, not stressful. You should feel better about your hair in the end, not worse. ;)

Thank you for posting this!

kdaniels8811
July 23rd, 2012, 04:35 PM
Hi, hair twin! I remember when we were growing together and our hair was the same type and length. Then I lost mine to chemo. Now, two years later, I can finally bun it (yay!!) and my hairtoy collection is bordering on ridiculous. Yes, it is far more important that I have my health back and not obsessing over the growth. I have much to be thankful for.

A couple more years and my hair will be back to where I was (waist length) AND I will considered "cancer free". So I am trying to enjoy the growing stages. Unfortunately, I know others that are battling cancer and just starting thier journey toward health again but I will be able to pass on wisdom and more importantly, hair toys as I outgrow them. Outgrown hair toys - that is a good goal to have!

Jojo, that was a lovely post and reminds us of why we are here, to support each other, not compete with each other. Thank you for sayng it.

henné
July 23rd, 2012, 04:50 PM
Absolutely.

Lately, I've been finding some threads and posts a bit irritating. Some folks take this a bit too far and way too seriously ...

On the grand scheme of things, hair is one of the least important things in a person's life ...

pepperminttea
July 23rd, 2012, 05:29 PM
I'm sorry, but I value truth. I dislike being lied to in any situation. I am not a member and avid reader, sometimes poster, so that I can be mislead by someone, regardless of motivation.

A standard where everyone gets to have their own rendition of truth leads to chaos. If I post a picture with my hair at my chin and call it BSL, then what is the standard for naming something BSL? If I say my hair grows a foot a month, don't you think I should be questioned about it - or at least be expected to post proof? If not, then why read or believe anything at all? I don't get it.:rolleyes:

I think perhaps it's the way it's brought up: Rather than calling someone a liar or a fool, going a little more gently by suggesting it's unusual and maybe they could give more details of the routine and post photos, or checking if they've measured correctly or gotten their length abbreviations mixed up, that kind of thing.

prettykitty
July 23rd, 2012, 05:33 PM
Yeahhh Jojo! I totally agree. I am the tortoise of hair growing.
I like to go slow, I'm not sure why. I wear my hair up most of the time, and I sometimes find that it seems to grow in leaps-I may only wear my hair down once very three months or so, and I find it's just "Too long, eeek!" and it sort of freaks me out. I am still learning how to deal with my hair at longer lengths, so going slower helps me to adapt more easily.

annah
July 23rd, 2012, 05:48 PM
I am in a bit in a hurry to reach my goal, but I think it's because I have been growing for what seems like forever.

I started growing out my hair probably about 6 years ago, maybe longer. I was growing out a bad chin length chop, and when it got to about BSL, I asked my MIL to trim it. I lost 3" to that trim. When it got to waist, and I was ready for another trim, I decided to go to a salon. The 1/2" trim I was supposed to get, ended up actually being 8 full inches of hair. I got that grown back out almost to waist, and had a crazy bout of alopecia. I lost a 4" circle of hair on the side of my head. I couldn't put my hair back at all, and ended up cutting it back to shoulder length so I could wear it down without my hair being in my way (little kids, long hair down is bad around here). That was back in September of 2010. My first trim since then was 1/2" last month. My hair is finally down to hip. I still have short hairs poking through from my bald spot. Some of the longest there are about 6 inches now.

I am very appreciative of the hair that I do have now. I have a whole new respect for those who have lost theirs. While I was able to almost hide my patch (it took over a year for the area to start regrowing hair), I know a lot of people can't.

At any rate, there is my explanation of why I am in such a hurry. Because while I am wishing it would grow faster, it has been a really long time since I decided to grow my hair long.

noot
July 23rd, 2012, 06:03 PM
Jojo, I'm a nurse also and working in critical care, often see that there is so much more to life. I think someone else has already said that growing out thier hair was a distraction to things in life that you don't have any control over. It is a bit of a diversion to some things in life that we have no control over. That being said, I will enjoy my hair and be thankful everyday that at the present myself and my family are experiencing good health. If something would happen and I lost all of my hair, I'm sure that life would go on and it would not be the end of the world. Thanks for the reality check.

lapushka
July 23rd, 2012, 07:01 PM
No you're certainly not the only one who feels this way. As someone who has a few things lacking in the way of health, I "get" it. Totally. Don't get me wrong, I like keeping up with my progress, also visually, but I hate the showing off part - I keep these things kinda private.

Mesmerise
July 23rd, 2012, 07:08 PM
I see what you're saying, but it doesn't apply to me. When I get obsessed about something, it's not so easy as telling myself to stop it. My ruminations have a life of their own.

Yup, I understand this totally... it's me all over!


I haven't noticed competitiveness with respect to growth or length, probably because I just believe what people say has happened or is happening to their hair, and I certainly never thought anyone was trying to make anyone else jealous. I hope we can all be happy for one another for hair success of any sort.

Why would anyone lie? This is supposed to be about supporting one another in doing the best we can with our hair. If someone says their hair grows 1/8th inch per month, I believe them. If someone says their hair grows 4 inches per month, I believe them too, and am happy for them. What sense would there be to their lying about it? My own hair grows very, very fast, just because it does. I don't do anything to cause it; it just happens, so I can easily believe that some others have hair that grows much faster than average too. Maybe we could try to be less judgmental towards one another.

Now, IF someone is lying about these things, I'll not likely catch on, as I assume they are telling the truth. But let's say they are lying. Should we deem and label them liars and castigate them? I don't think so. Some hurt or pain is probably behind the exaggeration or lie, so I vote that we (a) don't decide that they are lying, and (b) don't decide they are trying to make us jealous or any such thing. We don't know the motivation of anyone but ourselves, so why assume the worst about others?

I generally tend to believe people... when I disbelieve something, it's generally that I'm not disbelieving the PERSON, just what happened. If someone reports that their hair has grown 1" in 3 days, I tend to think they measured wrong, rather than that they're actually lying about it.

However, I'm prepared to believe that I'M the one in the wrong if I see evidence to support it (for example, if someone coloured their hair and three days later had obvious 1" regrowth, I would be forced to re-examine my beliefs and I'd end up thinking "WOW I didn't know that was possible!"). I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, generally.

As for people who DO actually lie... I guess it doesn't bother me that much. The only person you really hurt with a lie is yourself. You can say "my hair grew 4 inches last month!" and if you're not telling the truth, then it doesn't affect MY hair. (If your hair really did grow 4" then kudos to you and your hair :D) If you're lying then... you're only kidding yourself, and can't feel really good about it. I don't think I could feel good pretending my hair had grown X amount when it hadn't.

MrsGuther
July 23rd, 2012, 09:16 PM
I'm sorry, but I value truth. I dislike being lied to in any situation. I am not a member and avid reader, sometimes poster, so that I can be mislead by someone, regardless of motivation.

A standard where everyone gets to have their own rendition of truth leads to chaos. If I post a picture with my hair at my chin and call it BSL, then what is the standard for naming something BSL? If I say my hair grows a foot a month, don't you think I should be questioned about it - or at least be expected to post proof? If not, then why read or believe anything at all? I don't get it.:rolleyes:

I wish there was a LIKE button on here! :p I so agree with you! I value truth as well, and I seriously don't like it for example when people come on LHC bragging about growing a foot of hair in 6 months (obviously lying).

jacqueline101
July 23rd, 2012, 09:24 PM
I agree with jojo there are other things in life besides hair. We need to remember that.

Deborah
July 23rd, 2012, 10:01 PM
I wrote a response to some remarks I considered foolish, but then thought better of it.

Juanita
July 23rd, 2012, 10:04 PM
Something I will always remember and treasure. Visiting my friend in hospital who had terminal cancer running her fingers through my hair as we were chatting. She had lost hers to chemo and I had left mine down to dry after washing. She passed away a week later.

kitschy
July 23rd, 2012, 10:22 PM
"...I seriously don't like it for example when people come on LHC bragging about growing a foot of hair in 6 months (obviously lying)."

"...If I say my hair grows a foot a month, don't you think I should be questioned about it"

Okay truth-seekers, prove your truthfulness. Reveal where these statements or anything even close, were ever made on LHC. Then you will have proved your own truthfulness, in your faithful recitation of what you perceive as the lying statements made by others.

Obviously my post was not condoning lying in any way. It was about (a) not assuming that something you don't experience is a lie, about (b) trusting each other on a hair list, of all things (what on earth would be the POINT of lying here?), about (c) not assuming the worst about other posters, and about (d) treating other posters as you might like to be treated.

I thought it obvious that I was exaggerating. I used an incredible amount as an illustration. But, as other posters have pointed out, there was a case of someone posting about going from shoulder to waist length since January, which is also an obvious exaggeration. If her claim could be proven she would be in science books....and if you believe her claim, then I think you might be a touch gullible.

Some claims test the reliability of the information we get from the Long Hair Community and as a community we should question them. I also never meant to single out any one person as a liar.

Vanille_
July 23rd, 2012, 10:24 PM
Something I will always remember and treasure. Visiting my friend in hospital who had terminal cancer running her fingers through my hair as we were chatting. She had lost hers to chemo and I had left mine down to dry after washing. She passed away a week later.

I just wanted to say that gave me goosebumps. What a beautiful and sad story.

akilina
July 23rd, 2012, 10:39 PM
Im with you on this^^^^^
There was a person on LHC recently claiming some ridiculous amount of hair growth in 5 months... I was rather irritated. Nobody goes from shoulder to waist length in five months. People are liars on here sometimes!! And to top it all off they kept pushing their stupid hair growth lie and even put it on their sig pic. Grow up people! Lol. And to clarify I don't think this person had extensions... Just lied abut the dates of their pics IMHO.
It is frustrating. I don't see how someone would get off on flaunting a lie on a hair care forum. And I have seen someone that specifically flaunts it and constantly starts new threads about it. Please don't get me wrong here...I am not trying to "flame" anyone. I am just expressing frustrations. Some of the pictures are also blatantly extensions and I have a very very keen eye for stenchies. Haha..I wonder if we are talking about the same person :D
I went thru hundreds of pages on the monistat thread because I was briefly considering it lastnight and I definitely saw a pic where the person had their shoulders seriously scrunched and their head was tilted back. I don't understand what that accomplishes.

kitschy
July 23rd, 2012, 10:42 PM
Something I will always remember and treasure. Visiting my friend in hospital who had terminal cancer running her fingers through my hair as we were chatting. She had lost hers to chemo and I had left mine down to dry after washing. She passed away a week later.
What an incredible gift - for both of you.

palaeoqueen
July 28th, 2012, 09:55 AM
A very good post, something to bear in mind when I have moments of frustration.

I have to admit that I haven't noticed the pictures of people with heads tilted back etc to exaggerate growth, I am particularly unobservant though. I'm not sure I would spot extensions either unless it were especially obvious.

Lostsoule77
July 28th, 2012, 11:03 AM
Something I will always remember and treasure. Visiting my friend in hospital who had terminal cancer running her fingers through my hair as we were chatting. She had lost hers to chemo and I had left mine down to dry after washing. She passed away a week later.

This brought tears to my eyes. What a powerful, sad, sweet, memory.

Jojo I think when people are on here a lot it's easy to become somewhat obsessed with hair. Thank you so much for the reality check. Funny thing is, until recently, I wasn't obsessed with the growing. I was more focused on the health of my hair and all the styles. I had always had long hair & said it was because you could do so much with it. Unfortunately I knew nothing but English, French, & Dutch braids. Not one bun. When I found this site with it's plethora of styles and so many wonderful people I was thrilled.

I tend to only take length shots a few times a year and measure even less. Now that I'm so close to my goal, or at least my longest hairs are, I'm finding I'm checking it more often. Just visually in the mirror, but still more than I should. ;) If my head is tilted in shots it's because I was taking it myself, though I try really hard to make sure it's not. Doesn't really matter though because so far the only place I put my length shots was in my 1 yr anniversary thread & my siggy.

As for those who post all those "look at me" threads, I don't care really. I have an odd perspective on life. I tend to be not trusting so I take everything with a grain of salt IRL and even more so on the internet. I also tend to look for the good in everyone. Like if someone lies about their growth maybe they are jealous and have poor self esteem. I know those thoughts are at odds with each other, but it's how I think. :p In the end I avoid drama everywhere. I have enough things to deal with in my own life that I don't need anyone else's issues. People around me know to stay away from me with their bs. If you need help or advice I will listen and help. If all you want to do is complain or brag find some other dummy to listen. I know this sounds harsh, but it's just how I am.

Anyway, not meaning to derail. I think I'm just in a chattier mood these past few days.:o

lovinglocks
July 28th, 2012, 11:21 AM
I appreciate the length I'm at because I can do nothing with it and it looks okay. However, I'm impatient and want it to grow faster. This being because of a handfull of years back my hair was making progress, armpit length, and a stylist (UGH) chopped off all my hair when I asked for a trim. It ggrew pretty long in the few years... Then I donated it, I didn't want the short hair, but I kept thinking of the kids with cancer :(
If none of that ever happened, imagine how long my hair would be (this is my secret selfish side which is calmed by thinking of others)

heidi w.
July 28th, 2012, 11:33 AM
I agree with you. There's no rush to be had, anyway. Not really. Enjoy what you got while you got it, that's what I say. I thought early on that I wanted long hair and kind of never actually set an absolute goal. I just thought I'd just let it grow and see what I get, and whatever I get, I'll be happy with that. I can't make it to ankles. I sort of stop growing just a bit shy of the ankles, so I'm happy at mid-calf length. That's fairly long in the long hair universe. I'm happy.

I simply just let it do what it wants growth wise, and don't fret about it a whole lot. That way I'm always happy with it.

heidi w.

heidi w.
July 28th, 2012, 11:35 AM
I appreciate the length I'm at because I can do nothing with it and it looks okay. However, I'm impatient and want it to grow faster. This being because of a handfull of years back my hair was making progress, armpit length, and a stylist (UGH) chopped off all my hair when I asked for a trim. It ggrew pretty long in the few years... Then I donated it, I didn't want the short hair, but I kept thinking of the kids with cancer :(
If none of that ever happened, imagine how long my hair would be (this is my secret selfish side which is calmed by thinking of others)

Next time you think of this idea, exclude LoL. They're not quite who they say they are, although their record has improved somewhat these past few years. Their hair is eventually shipped to Indonesia and a wig is made....tell me what's labor cost in Indonesia...so why are some recipients of these wigs being asked to pay around 3K for a wig? Who's making the profit? I'm sure they've helped some people, but not enough in my book. Me and a few others have been watching them for years. There are better charities to donate to, but you have to do your homework.....

heidi w.

Loviatar
July 28th, 2012, 11:49 AM
Too right, Jojo. :flowers:

I don't see the point of competitiveness. As for outrageous claims, why bother? There are no prizes here.

I do not measure any more. I haven't measured since maybe December 2010? I gave up measuring because I was getting obsessive. I take pics for my blog if I notice a big change, or I make a big change, like a new dye.

I think Bene has a good point about mini-goals. I want waist length eventually, and will reassess from there. But now, my goal is to reach shoulder. Then it will be to reach APL. Then BSL, which is a goal I've never had as I've always chopped around APL. Bit by bit is easier than dreaming of waist when I have a messy pixie.

Personally, addressing 'why the rush', my hair isn't growing fast enough for my needs, because it's a shaggy pixie that I can just get in a pony stub and my bangs fall into my eyes. It's summer in London; my hair is now too darn hot to deal with at this length. If it were shoulder length, I could damp bun the lot with no problems. :D Once it gets past awkward-as-heck length, it can grow however it likes, but I'd like the shaggy-to-shoulder growth to speed up a bit!

ddiana1979
July 28th, 2012, 12:03 PM
I don't really see competition between people on here. I do see people competing with themselves, which frankly, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Perhaps it's because I come from a running background (Track & Field in HS, now long distance runner), but I think you can compete with yourself for a personal best, but still enjoy the journey. I love my morning runs. I enjoy the scenery, the fresh air, the people I pass on my route. . . but nearly every day I'm working to get just a little bit faster, or go just a little bit farther.

I measure my hair and take pictures every few months because I want to know how long it is, and how long I have until the next mile marker, if you will. Obsessive hobby, perhaps, but I enjoy it. *shrug*

jojo
July 28th, 2012, 12:17 PM
Yup, I understand this totally... it's me all over!



I generally tend to believe people... when I disbelieve something, it's generally that I'm not disbelieving the PERSON, just what happened. If someone reports that their hair has grown 1" in 3 days, I tend to think they measured wrong, rather than that they're actually lying about it.

However, I'm prepared to believe that I'M the one in the wrong if I see evidence to support it (for example, if someone coloured their hair and three days later had obvious 1" regrowth, I would be forced to re-examine my beliefs and I'd end up thinking "WOW I didn't know that was possible!"). I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, generally.

As for people who DO actually lie... I guess it doesn't bother me that much. The only person you really hurt with a lie is yourself. You can say "my hair grew 4 inches last month!" and if you're not telling the truth, then it doesn't affect MY hair. (If your hair really did grow 4" then kudos to you and your hair :D) If you're lying then... you're only kidding yourself, and can't feel really good about it. I don't think I could feel good pretending my hair had grown X amount when it hadn't.My thoughts exactly


I agree with jojo there are other things in life besides hair. We need to remember that. we do, hair is hair at the end of the day


I wrote a response to some remarks I considered foolish, but then thought better of it. ;) you and me both!


Something I will always remember and treasure. Visiting my friend in hospital who had terminal cancer running her fingers through my hair as we were chatting. She had lost hers to chemo and I had left mine down to dry after washing. She passed away a week later.
this is a huge reminder of how life is precious, it's not about being the fastest grower, having the longest hair or the shiniest, it's about gaining experiences and appreciating what we have. I lost my patient this week and I am so very proud to have played a part in making her last days pain free and comfortable. Bless you for being such a wonderful friend to her x x

This brought tears to my eyes. What a powerful, sad, sweet, memory.

Jojo I think when people are on here a lot it's easy to become somewhat obsessed with hair. Thank you so much for the reality check. Funny thing is, until recently, I wasn't obsessed with the growing. I was more focused on the health of my hair and all the styles. I had always had long hair & said it was because you could do so much with it. Unfortunately I knew nothing but English, French, & Dutch braids. Not one bun. When I found this site with it's plethora of styles and so many wonderful people I was thrilled.

I tend to only take length shots a few times a year and measure even less. Now that I'm so close to my goal, or at least my longest hairs are, I'm finding I'm checking it more often. Just visually in the mirror, but still more than I should. ;) If my head is tilted in shots it's because I was taking it myself, though I try really hard to make sure it's not. Doesn't really matter though because so far the only place I put my length shots was in my 1 yr anniversary thread & my siggy.

As for those who post all those "look at me" threads, I don't care really. I have an odd perspective on life. I tend to be not trusting so I take everything with a grain of salt IRL and even more so on the internet. I also tend to look for the good in everyone. Like if someone lies about their growth maybe they are jealous and have poor self esteem. I know those thoughts are at odds with each other, but it's how I think. :p In the end I avoid drama everywhere. I have enough things to deal with in my own life that I don't need anyone else's issues. People around me know to stay away from me with their bs. If you need help or advice I will listen and help. If all you want to do is complain or brag find some other dummy to listen. I know this sounds harsh, but it's just how I am.

Anyway, not meaning to derail. I think I'm just in a chattier mood these past few days.:o
I like anniversary threads, I like updo threads, I like to hear about people who have overcome obstacles but what I hate is when I am seeing constant threads with people continually moaning about their hair when it is so obvious they want you to reply how beautiful their hair is. I find it petty and uninteresting.
Sorry for not replying to all the replies, I do appreciate your input, I'm just a little busy today but will try and reply to you all

thirstylocks
July 28th, 2012, 01:04 PM
I don't really feel competition with people. I recognize that everyone has really different hair and its beautiful in its own way. Some people look so good in bobs and some people look so good with classic length. I look good somewhere in the middle. I'm in a rush because I have short hair right now and I don't look the way I want to look! You are right, we should appreciate our hair :)

ScarlettAdelle
July 28th, 2012, 01:39 PM
I can't say I can relate to the competition bit, as I don't have a competitive bone in my body, but as to being in a rush to get there and the vanity, yes, I'm right there with you. I don't, however, get a rush from having mine longer than someone else's or having it shinier or whatever. I don't really care what anyone else has going on up there. I've never understood the need to be comparatively "better" than another, when I think all are unique and different.

When you look at what others go through, it is, by comparison, a little silly that some of us put the weight we do into our hair. After all, it is just strings of protein, sulfur and such protruding from our scalps.

I grow out my hair for me. I enjoy it, I like it long, I like how it feels on my hips while I take a shower, I like brushing it when it's cooperating, I even like braiding it and playing with the length of the braids (which I place over my lip like a mustache sometimes or around my eyes like a mask and pretend I'm a super hero when I'm by myself...), I love how my dog likes to try to make a coccoon out of my hair to curl up in, and I like flat ironing it and seeing how long it's gotten since I last flat ironed it. It's something I enjoy, and I'm not an overly vain person, the length of my hair (and the potential it shows for further growth) is one of the few things I actually like about my body, so I don't think it's, as a whole, a bad thing. It gives me a little bit of self esteem, and if you know me offline, you know I could use a little more of that. Perhaps it IS a silly thing to get self esteem from, but it is what it is.

bte
July 28th, 2012, 01:42 PM
You are right, of course - there is nothing in life more important than health. And growing hair isn't a quick process. It should teach us patience and to accept what we have been given by nature/God/whatever.