Moving in with my DBF

[stew]

Okay, I've got a pretty big milestone coming up. My DBF and I have been together for just over 6 years and we're finally attempting to live together.. he is living at his parents house right now so he can afford to pay off student debt, and his parents are going on a 3 month vacation so we're doing a "test move-in" to see if we can actually successfully live with each other before doing something like move across the country.

I'm really worried about revealing all of my strange hair rituals to him. All of the plastic bags and towel turbans and smelly conditioning concoctions.. Maybe I'll just do them when he's at work? :hmm:

Do any of you hide your haircare routine from people you live with, or how did you/they deal with it when they found out?

[Kyla]

I don't hide it, I just tell them what I'm doing and let them laugh. It's worth it in my opinion to have healthy, pretty hair. :) I don't live with my DBF, but he has seen some odd moments with me and my hair, such as how I wash it (just CWC, but it's still different) and he's seen my shower cap and laughed. :p

[Kat]

I don't tend to really work at hiding it... but I don't point it out, either.

Although by now, my partner pretty much knows to just roll his eyes and keep his mouth shut when it comes to my weirdnesses.

[Jenw777]

Justin just kind of ignores me. Once he asked why I needed half the kitchen in the bathroom when I washed my hair. I had just done an SMT and left the bowl in the shower. Other than that he doesn't even notice, he's used to me being a weird-o :-)

[heidi w.]

A hair routine should be reasonable, overall, and nothing wholly different from what most people do, so I wouldn't fear revealing your trade secrets. If he likes you, he likes you, hair rituals and all. Isn't this what a test is all about? To see if overall it's gonna work?

It does, however, seem a bit early or quick or somewhat rushed to move in together. Six weeks isn't a long time of knowing one another. Be sure you have spare cash so you can move out if you need to. Have a plan B, just in case. Apparently some people just hit it off just fine, but life sometimes does happen.


ETA: Of all the things to object to about someone, hair routines seems fairly low on the list. I'd get concerned about drug use or if someone's a thief or if someone's a bum and a couch potato. That's really worry wart stuff. Cause getting rid of these kind of people can be a real PITA. END ETA


Good luck to you,
heidi w.

[Quixii]

Huh, I can't imagine being with someone for six years and they still have no clue that I have some weird hair rituals. DBF and I don't live together, but he knows about the weird sorts of things I do, including my hair stuff. Yeah, sometimes he laughs if he sees me with my hair up in a towel or something, but... :shrug:

[ouseljay]

If you've been together for six years I'm sure he can accept your hair quirks. ;) Don't worry about it. That's kind of the point of your test-run, isn't it? If he can't live with your quirks, better find out sooner rather than later, you're not going to be able to or want to hide it forever.

I started all the weird hair stuff long after my Other and I moved in together. He just goes along with it, listens to my ramblings, and occasionally helps.

[Kyla]

Adding to my comment, when I get teased about my shower cap, I do a pretend hair flip (pretend because it's all up in the cap) and say something along the lines of "whatevs, pioneer women rocked it." I like teasing myself like this because it shows that I know it is weird, but really, it's not a huge deal to me and it shouldn't be to anyone else. :P

[Hollyfire3]

A hair routine should be reasonable, overall, and nothing wholly different from what most people do, so I wouldn't fear revealing your trade secrets. If he likes you, he likes you, hair rituals and all. Isn't this what a test is all about? To see if overall it's gonna work?

It does, however, seem a bit early or quick or somewhat rushed to move in together. Six weeks isn't a long time of knowing one another. Be sure you have spare cash so you can move out if you need to. Have a plan B, just in case. Apparently some people just hit it off just fine, but life sometimes does happen.

heidi w.

Heidi w., I think the OP said six years of being together, not six weeks. :)

[jeanniet]

A hair routine should be reasonable, overall, and nothing wholly different from what most people do, so I wouldn't fear revealing your trade secrets. If he likes you, he likes you, hair rituals and all. Isn't this what a test is all about? To see if overall it's gonna work?

It does, however, seem a bit early or quick or somewhat rushed to move in together. Six weeks isn't a long time of knowing one another. Be sure you have spare cash so you can move out if you need to. Have a plan B, just in case. Apparently some people just hit it off just fine, but life sometimes does happen.

heidi w.
Lol, years, not weeks! :p

I live with all boys/men, so pretty much anything I do is weird to them. I do it anyway. :D

[fridgee]

If you want to live together permanently at some point he's going to find out! Best see how he feels about it during the trial rather than later on. Besides he probably has habits he's worried about you seeing too. You really get to know people differently when you live with them. Be yourself and do what you would normally because ultimately that what he has to accept if your going to be together :flower:

I live with my DBF and when I first started doing unconventional things I didn't tell him and sort of hid it. Now I don't cz it's fun to tell him all the silly things I'm trying and he sees me messing with my hair and asks about it. It's sweet.

[ladonna]

Don't worry about you both are about to find how wierd and gross and hopefully amazing the other person is. I do all kinds of treatments to mine and my daughters hair that we leave on for hours out in public. I've even started makng treatments for my neighbors so we can all be wierd together lol.

[stew]

Yeah, I know it will be fine.. he's seen the worst and the best of me by now, and he knows how obsessive I am about my hair. I've told him about some weird things I do.. but for some reason him actually seeing me do it, and seeing how often I do it, makes me feel just a little self-conscious about it! I think for the first while he might just laugh at me when he's playing video games and I have a plastic bag on my head. :lol:

He's seen my shower ritual already - I CO-wash with a tonnn of conditioner - and he made a skeptical comment about how much more conditioner I use than him. I simply said, "well, I have more hair than you" and that was that. Hahaha.

[torrilin]

Honestly, the thing that would most likely freak my partner about my hair is if I talk about cutting it. He's used to my conditioner habit and all the other occasional weird stuff. What drives him mad tho is when my hair is short enough that I can't put it up, because then I'm actively grumpy about my hair a lot. He is really happy when my hair is long enough to braid, not because it's prettier, but because too short hair makes me so unhappy.

Hair that is long enough that I can't deal with it efficiently also annoys him... not because there's such a thing as "too long", but because I'm a pretty athletic and tomboyish woman. I'm happiest when my hair is in a nice secure updo that fits under my bike helmet. Spending hours dealing with tangles or doing lots of pampering makes me miserable. And since my hair is fine, straight and slippery, learning new updos is a chore or torture. So if I'm faffing about with my hair and really frustrated, he'll encourage me to trim back to a length I can handle before I freak out and chop it all off.

A good partner likes you for yourself, and encourages you to try and be your best self... even if it's a little strange, or a whole lot strange. Compared to the living with no car, the handspinning, and all the rest, my hair is far from the strangest part of my life :D.

[Amber_Maiden]

Nope, never hid it. Though I'd probably reserve some of it for "pamper me time" when they are away.

[Tota]

Congratulations on your big milestone! I think you shouldn't be ashamed of your haircare routine or hide anything from him. If it works and makes your hair pretty and healthy he really shouldn't mind. I live with my bf and when I joined TLHC and started experimenting he was sceptic at first, but now he's cool with it and he even decided to grow out his own hair with the help of my newly acquired knowledge.

[DreadfulWoman]

Don't worry about you both are about to find how wierd and gross and hopefully amazing the other person is. I do all kinds of treatments to mine and my daughters hair that we leave on for hours out in public. I've even started makng treatments for my neighbors so we can all be wierd together lol.

Hahaha. Exactly this.

Sometimes I do hair stuff while DBF isn't home, just because it's a nice "me time" activity, but I wouldn't say that I hide any of it from him. That's half the fun of living together, anyway - getting to be yourself around the person you love.

[arcane]

Honestly if he can't handle you pampering your hair, that isn't a good sign. You've been together 6 years, I'm sure he'll just laugh and let you go on with your day.

My DBF affectionately calls me a hair freak. He thinks I'm a bit obessive about my hair and would like me to stress less about it but doesn't stop me. To be fair I'm not the easiest person to live with (My loved ones call me Sheldon from the big bang theory for a reason). He also does things that I find weird and poke fun at (seriously this man changes his clothes 6 times a day, I find that strange).

[MiamiPineapple]

I live with my boyfriend and he thinks what I do to my hait is crazy. But...I really don't care if he likes it or not, I am not going to stop lol :)

[Tisiloves]

In my eperience men are pretty clueless about hair and stuff, don't bother hiding it, there's a reasonable chance that he won't even notice.

My parents were together for 20years and my dad still thinks my mum's (2a/b/f/i in a pixie) hair is naturally straight and that she blowdried it to get it dry quicker (actually it air dries in about 10mins, I'm a litle jealous).

[Avital88]

hahaha i just mash an avacoado in front of my bf and smoosh it in my hair and then start hugging him and make him feel uncomfortable ..
but we dont live together..
It would depend on the guy but dont hide it all

[heidi w.]

Heidi w., I think the OP said six years of being together, not six weeks. :)

Le Ooops. My bad. I re-read again, and wrong I was and righty-o you are.

Thank you.

heidi w.
What happens when I go back 'n' forth between homework and LHC....(bad habit) LOL.

[dwell_in_safety]

I've never hidden it from my girlfriend from day one. When I quit using shampoo, I let her know ahead of time that I was planning to do it. It's been nine months, and now she COs! [laugh] AND lets me oil her hair every couple of weeks! She never thought it was weird, just really cool.

[shutterpillar]

Going in the same direction as Dwell In Safety's story... my husband seems to have wanted to pick up my "strange" hair routine. He is an avid coconut oil user now. :D

Sure, there are things he still thinks are a bit odd... like my ACV rinses or using practically half the bottle of conditioner every time I take a shower (only slightly exaggerating there) but we just joke and laugh about it and move on. I am sure your boyfriend will do the same. You've been together for 6 years now, and like you said... this is the trial run to see whether or not you can live together - "strange" rituals and all.