I cut my hair...stupid stupid stupid :(

[Lachrymosa]

I did something awful. I had APL hair but I was tired of the two-tone color it had from a bad dye job over a year ago. That processed part was much more damaged than my virgin hair, and although using henna, gentler shampoos, deep conditioning, and limiting the hairdryer/flat iron it had improved alot, but there was still such a noticeable difference from my virgin hair. So I made a rash decision to have almost all of the colored hair cut off...pretty much chin level. The worst thing is I let the hairdresser talk me into layers although I told her I really didn't want them...she insisted my hair would look horrible if I didn't put some "slight" layering in.

Well...she pretty much gave me a chin-length stacked bob. And I hate it! There's like 3 inches difference between the longest and shortest layer and to top it all off, my wave/curl seems to have disappeared! My whole goal was to start treating my hair right, but when I air dry my hair it just turns into this strange poofy thing...with some straight bits here, awkward S-waves that lie flat on the back of my head, and a weak sad little curl here and there. I have tried to make it look halfway decent, but it only looks good if I blowdry AND flat iron it. My point was to stop using heat! The HD assured me that the "slight" layers would accentuate my wurls and it would be a great style to wear natural if I didn't want to use heat. I know I shouldn't have believed her but I'm naive like that.

So now I have no idea what to do! Luckily I'm a stay at home mom, so I don't have to worry about looking horrible for work at this point, but I'm still so upset I just want to cry! I told the HD that I was doing this to get rid of my two tone-hair, and that I my goal was to grow my hair long again, but frankly I don't know how easy it's going to be to grow out these layers gracefully.

So mostly this is a rant...but does anyone have any advice for me on how to get my hair to look semi decent without resorting to heat? I've tried just air drying alone, with leave-ins, sleeping with it wet, finger combing while damp to try to straighten it somewhat...nothing seems to work. It's too short to do the ponytail thing which is what I usually do with awkward hair. Please help! :(

[Elanadi]

I'm so sorry. :( I have no hair advice, but your hair WILL grow back, and it won't have that extra level of processed hair. I had dyed my hair when it was short, and when it grew out, I too had the two tone look and it drove me NUTS. I didn't cut it because I always wear my hair up and I wanted the length for upstyles; luckily for me, I wasn't super particular about how it looked down at the time. Now, four years later, the difference in colors isn't so obvious, but I can absolutely understand why you cut it off.

[TiffanieJean]

I don't have much advice. Sorry about the haircut disaster. I can say that I know how you feel. If you have a fan in your house you can sit in front of it and gently keep your hair pulled so it will dry straight?

[MissAlida]

Oh my, I'm sorry. But you must think positively. Your hair is virgin now, and it's a new beggining. I suggest you try scrunching with oil and/or gel (I do it with oil), to try and get back your waves. You must give your hair some time to accomodate to the new lenght. If scrunching doesen't work, you can try wrapping hair. There are videos on youtube, if you don't already know the technique. It will give you silky, shiny straight hair. Btw: I'm growing to MBL, but am stuck in the APL-BSL no mans land. It is my fault, because since I've started self trimming, I cant stop cutting:rolleyes:. But cutting makes me feel better, and I don't mind loosing some lenght in order to have thicker ends. It's just a compromise. It will grow back more beautiful than ever. Good luck.:)

ETA: Bobby pins can be your friend. I know they are not very popular on this forum, but with shorter hair, you can create updos more easily with pins, than with anything else.

[Bene]

Wide headbands, and scrunching the length.

[Tabitha]

Celebrate your first step along the road to healthier hair!

It won't be long before you can do a messy peacock twist with a claw clip, or a ponytail with a wide barrette - the shorter front layers have less far to go for this than if you just use an elastic or scrunchy, and there are so many pretty barrettes out there.

[Unzadi]

Haircut disasters aren't fun, but on the up side, the processed hair is gone, and you can grow out natural from here. Hair grows, and summer is the faster growing season for many. Summer is a great time for scarves, bandanas and funky sun hats; plop one on and forget about the hair for a while. You may surprise yourself with how fast it grows with some benign neglect. Would a cloth headband, wide or skinny, be an option? Slick wet hair back, secure with headband and enjoy the coolness.

[ratgirldjh]

I did this last summer. I wanted my icky ends (from too many experiments) cut off and really just a trim of a couple of inches. I also ended up with a bob - although mine was chin length and slightly shorter in the back.

It has taken me a year to get to just below shoulder length - but I have been trimming the front and the longer pieces a tiny bit.

This time however my hair is MUCH thicker and in way better condition than it was at this length before.

For example - when my hair was just a few inches from waist right before I got it cut - I could make a TINY bun and use 5" hair sticks to hold it no problem.

Now my hair at only just below shoulder EATS 5" hairsticks!

It is totally baffling - it is like I have a different head of hair now. I even have waves and it is starting to border on wurly!

And my braids are so much thicker!

What I am saying is this might not be a bad thing in the long run. Go with it and baby your hair and grow healthy hair this time!

[SpinDance]

So sorry to hear about this. I did a similar thing when I was a teenager, let a hair dresser give me 'something different'. Took a long time to grow that short layered cut out. But hair does grow, so it will grow out. And you no longer have the damaged hair, either, so that is a plus.

It rather sounds like your hair isn't long enough yet for your waves to form very well. Does plopping help? Headbands, scarves, clips and hats may be your friends for a while. If the layers don't do well for you consider trimming them off a tiny bit at a time every so many weeks.

[sarelis]

Aww, I'm sorry you're not happy with your cut, but as others have said at least you can grow out 100% virgin, healthy hair now. Also I would imagine that the 3 inch difference in the length of the layers will not seem so drastic when it has some more length. I sometimes get tempted to cut off my damage but I would probably be left with hair just about down to my ears!! Sending some fast growth vibes your way xx

[akilina]

Have you washed your hair since and done your own thing?
I must say I hope that this does not turn into a hairdresser flaming rant. -_____-
There are quite a few hair dressers on here.
It is hard for us to let someone walk away with something that does not look good. Although, you stated what you really wanted she made her suggestion because that is her name on your head and when people see it it would make her look bad.
At the same time, Sometimes you need to just LISTEN to your client and deliver exactly what they want. No matter what it looks like. I have had to do this and I felt embarrassed to even let them walk up to the front and have waiting clients see it. But, sometimes we just need to get over that.
Hopefully your stacking is easy to get rid of. In my experiences it is pretty easy to grow out a little stacking in the back. Try blow drying with a vented brush and kind of curling it under with it.

[swearnsue]

I think most of us have been there and done that so don't get down on yourself too much. It might be all for the best anyway because you don't have to look at your damaged hair every day. Like others have said, this is a new start. To get your curls back, try clarifying. You've been using a lot of products to help your damaged hair so it is probably time to clarify and then do a deep moisture treatment. You will feel much better in a couple of days and you will start loving your hair.

[bumblebums]

I can empathize as a fellow wurly person. A chin-length bob is supposed to be the most difficult hairstyle to cut, and it is especially tricky on wavy hair. Most hairdressers treat wavy hair as straight hair and cut it assuming that it will be worn straight. When I had a bob, I could only wear it after blow-drying and sometimes ironing. I also used velcro rollers after a stylist showed me how they work, which was less damaging than ironing. Without some sort of manipulation, it would kink out in weird places and look awful.

I would suggest headbands, like Bene said. Another style you can do, if you're up for it, is soaking your hair with leave-in conditioner and doing a side part. It will look vampy and sleek and be weather-resistant and not damaging. You only have to last for half a year, and then you should be able to do a ponytail.

[bumblebums]

I can empathize as a fellow wurly person. A chin-length bob is supposed to be the most difficult hairstyle to cut, and it is especially tricky on wavy hair. Most hairdressers treat wavy hair as straight hair and cut it assuming that it will be worn straight. When I had a bob, I could only wear it after blow-drying and sometimes ironing. I also used velcro rollers after a stylist showed me how they work, which was less damaging than ironing. Without some sort of manipulation, it would kink out in weird places and look awful.

I would suggest headbands, like Bene said. Another style you can do, if you're up for it, is soaking your hair with leave-in conditioner and doing a side part. It will look vampy and sleek and be weather-resistant and not damaging. You only have to last for half a year, and then you should be able to do a ponytail.

Argh! Double post.

[lapushka]

At least you got rid of the bad dye bits. That's one positive thing to come out of this, so: yay! As far as heat styling goes, I really can't offer you advice. I had to resort to heat styling as well from chin to about shoulder. When I hit APL, the styling (thankfully) ended.

[earthnut]

When my hair was that awkward length, I wore a lot of scarves, kerchiefs, and wide head bands. I still like wearing those when I'm in the garden, etc, to keep hair from flopping in my face. They hide any weirdness my hair would throw at me, and I can mix and match different colors and accessories with it. :D

[blondie9912]

I've considered some of the other comments and I do think it would be easier to try and get a nice wave/curl back instead of trying to straighten it somehow without heat, as most heatless straightening needs length to be done effectively. Anyway, don't stress too much! Hair WILL grow back, and you'll be happy that the coloured parts are gone. Good luck and stay strong :flower:

[spidermom]

First thing I would try is comb conditioner when you wash it, then let it dry naturally. If that doesn't work, finger-comb some aloe vera gel or styling gel through your hair after you wash it. I would always finger-comb straight back, and then let my hair fall naturally as it dried. Also, you could use pretty bobby pins or barrettes to pull the sides up and back.

Above all, avoid the flat iron or you'll end up right back where you started - with damaged length. I've seen quite a few examples of messy bobs on celebrities, every hair does not have to be smooth and "in place" to be fashionable.

Oh, and small trims to the longest bits until it all catches up. I know it seems slow when you're going through it, but it really isn't going to take very long to grow that back out to APL.

[elbow chic]

Can you put up pictures? It might not be that bad-- sometimes it takes a day or two to get used to a new look. And at least you got rid of the two-tone effect.

Plus, Spidermom's right-- messy bobs are a thing right now anyway. :D Maybe just scrunch some mousse thru it and let it go wild for awhile!

[FrannyG]

Try to look on the bright side. The hair you lost was making you miserable. Your hair will grow back, faster than you think. I am another who will suggest scrunching your hair and using a scarf or a headband if necessary.

I'm sure that you can make your hair look good without heat, with just a little experimentation.

:grouphug: to you.

[Amanah]

:flowers:Sometimes it takes awhile for your hair to get used to a different cut, and even a few weeks growth can make it behave differently, just ignore it for a bit and give it a chance to grow out a little. even just a little growth can make a huge difference. :flowers:

[RedheadMistress]

- In your situation I would just do what my friend does and put it up with cute hair clips and stuff, maybe start making your own hair jewellery from old necklaces or earrings you don't use, so you don't feel so bad and can feel pretty (:

Also you can oil it and make sure it feels happy and healthy but yeah just keep it up with clips, maybe have a little bit loose at the front . .

Or wear a hat, I wear caps a lot to protect my hair from sun and wear and tare of having it all out and a hoodie but it all depends on your style heh with my style caps and hoodies fit .

[Wildcat Diva]

I hope you can calm down and feel better. There of lots of folks growing out pixies, and your hair is healthy now. Three inches of layers wont be too bad, later on. I think the headbands are a good idea, eventually you can do a low sleek ponytail later on. Summertime is the time for scarves, bandanas, etc. It will get better, I'm sorry this is so hard.

[Lachrymosa]

Wow everyone, thanks so much for all the sympathy and advice! I sooooo appreciate it. I do feel a little like I overreacted because yeah, I'm sure growing out a pixie or bald head is so much harder that what I will have to deal with. I am really happy to have most of the icky part cut off (the stacking got rid of most of it on the back and I have about 2 inches on the face framing parts but it looks tons better in at least that aspect so I can deal with that) and you're all right - I need to focus on the fact that from here on out I'll be growing out a much healthier mane. I just didn't realize how very much I was attached to my hair even though it didn't look great.

So many great suggestions as well...I will definitely start playing around with some hair toys. Frankly that didn't really occur to me as I never have really used them but that's a great idea. I didn't think of plopping since my curl seems all but gone but I'll certainly give it a try, as well as experiment with some more product. I'll try to post a pic tomorrow...unfortunately my stepdaughter has to sleep in our office for awhile so I don't have access to my PC at the moment. I'm painstakingly typing this out on my Kindle lol. But yeah...maybe you all won't think it's as bad as I do.

I appreciate each and every one of your responses. I really do feel better now! Thanks a ton :flowers:

[Ravenwind]

I went through the same thing back in January.. I got tired of the dryness and damage and chopped it (myself) to shoulder length. It turned out to be a disaster and so I had an emergency haircut the next day :-P Since the layers were all wonky she attempted to even them out, but she thinned the heck out of them! I absolutely hate my hair being thinned out. After playing with my hair I noticed the layers were all uneven and I was very unhappy.

I'm still growing out the layers, but what helps me with the poofyness after my hair dries after a shower is coconut oil. I just put a tiny bit all over the ends of my hair while it's damp and that really makes a huge difference. It stays smooth and not poofy all day :) Hope this helps.

[heyshortyhey]

Yep, I've done that so many times. It stinks. But think about how you feel right now, and what you want ultimately. Also try and think that, at least now, you can sort of start over with new healthy hair.

[Mesmerise]

Oooh yeah, I've done that myself. The worst thing is when you let the hairdresser talk you into something you really didn't want to do...

Actually, this is sort of a nice warning to me, because I had a dream where I cut off my old chemically processed hair the other night, and it got me considering it :rolleyes:. Fortunately I didn't follow through!! (I have done that often in the past though...).

The good thing is that your hair IS virgin now! Just try and hold off from the blowdrying and straightening, as I found heat worse on my hair than hair dye ever was! Most of the damage I'm growing out isn't so much from the chemical colour, but from the straightening iron :rolleyes:.

I would also play around with hair toys and clips and stuff, and maybe with some different products to see what you can achieve. When I had really short hair, I used this gel wax stuff to stop it looking all poofy and weird, it sort of sleeked it down a bit. It wasn't a really heavy wax so didn't stick it all together... it was quite weird (I guess why it was called gel wax!) but it made it nice and sleek and helped me grow it out to a more reasonable length.

[Silken]

Lachrymosa, reading your post, I find that the most upsetting part was allowing the HD to pressure you into doing what SHE wanted, instead of what YOU wanted, am I right?
And I totally empathize with that because frankly, sometimes, you come across HDs you simply should throttle.

Next time, run the worst case scenario in your head BEFORE you sit in that chair, and visualize the HD not listening you and trying to talk you into a cut that you do not want.
Now visualize yourself ripping the covering off of you as you get up and leave.
Do this exercise several times in your head before the next time you go in for a trim.
I promise you, this won't happen again, you won't let it.
But do plan a careful, detailed explanation of what you want and how you are trying to grow out your hair.
Aaah, raising a good hairdresser is a difficult task, lol.

That said...

You now have virgin hair, and that is wonderful!
Baby it. Moisturize, protect, take care of it and patiently watch it grow.
Play with clips, flexi-8s, bobby pins, hair bands, scarves and what not.
Learn to braid all sorts of different ways on short, thin strands, it will be that much easier to master with a long mane!
Have fun with it. :)

[lolot]

Hi, i had a really bad case of layers, i cut my hair very bad 2 years ago, some of the "layers" where up to my eyes but i let them grow before cutting all up again, the worst part was the stage from ears to neck because of the wing effect in my sometimes wavy-straight hair, but they grew and i gradually trim the longer parts, now they are APL and the rest of my hair is almost BSL, they make my hair more voluminous and wavier.
I survived wearing my hair up, playing with styles, hats and using barrettes for the shorter hairs, is a pain i know but youll get over it soon and your layers are not that short, so youll be out soon, focus on health and stop using heat that would make your hair weaker in the future
Good luck!

[Toadstool]

I would definitely try putting mousse/gel in it when wet, and keeping scrunching it as it dries. Good luck!

[jaine]

At chin length you can straighten your hair with hard-hold gel. Put gel in damp hair, part and comb it with a fine-tooth comb, let it air dry without touching it, then finger-comb the crunch out. I like Max Green Alchemy gel. Your hair will be super soft and smooth, smoother than a blowout. When my hair was chin length it only took about half an hour to air dry completely with this method...I miss how easy that was!

[Quixii]

Have you ever tried plopping? Just another way you can try drying your hair without heat.

[pink.sara]

You have a healthy starting point to go from :) even if it will be annoying for the 6 months from chin to shoulder it will feel so much better when it gets there :flower:

A severely stacked bob was my starting point, and I did give in to blow drying it on a cool setting and occasional straightening until it was past shoulder to make it look "smart".

But something my curly mother did to grow hers out was buy those tiny claw clips, scrunch her hair with left in conditioner or a curl creme and then twist front sections and pin back. Deliberately messy but cute.

[momoftwo708]

I feel your pain my hair was damage so I cut it little past apl from wsl and then I trimmed my layers too short and thick so now my hair looks crazy and hoping it will grow fast my front hair is short and back is almost bsl :( having something bad happen to your hair is the worst I know the bad feeling

[lapushka]

Don't forget to join the shorties thread. They are amazingly supportive! :)

[Gillian]

this same exact thing happened to me a year ago. i had heat and bleach damage and my hair dresser gave me an AWFUL super short mullet..i was really sad for a while but now i have bra strap length hair..and its much much healthier. im sorry this happened to you but just be patient! :) your hair will grow

[Charybdis]

When I was growing out from a bob, I scrunched with mousse and blew it dry on low heat using a diffuser. This is way less damaging than drying using high heat to dry the hair straight, and you may find it helps the curls to hold better and dry in more predictable shapes (those are the reasons I continued to use a drier until I was around shoulder-length). Also, your virgin hair will be less prone to split ends and damage than the chemically processed sections you cut off. I think using a flat iron or a hair dryer on high heat is a bad idea, but I never noticed any damage from using the diffuser when my hair was still relatively short.

Good luck! Hope you find a hair-stying method you like.

[Lachrymosa]

I just have to thank all you ladies for your help again! I have been experimenting all day and frankly I've never wet and rewet my hair this much ever! Thanks to your suggestions I think I'll be able to have hair that doesn't look too bad until it grows out a bit. The best result so far was my last experiment this evening with plopping - making sure to scrunch it with a good amount of a light condish and gel while upside down, then adding some clips to my part after removing the towel to give a little lift at my roots while it dried. It looks pretty darn good. :) I'm so happy! I used to plop this way all the time with my long hair before my daughter was born last year, but I didn't think it would work now since it had looked like my hair didn't want to curl anymore. It's by no means as curly as it was, but plopping sure coaxed out some decent waves. Thanks so much to the ladies who suggested it.

Also, headbands will probably be my savior as well. Haven't worn them since I was a kid but what the hey, they work! And tomorrow I'm going to buy a hat to smash on my head when I just don't have the time to try and make my hair look good.

I feel so much better now and am really looking forward to seeing what my new hair will be like sans heat. I've even put my flat iron in storage to prevent me from being tempted to use it. :p

You guys are awesome! :inlove:

[Ambystoma]

I've been there Lachrymosa! It sounds like you have the same cut I did, except mine was ALL bleach damaged at that length save 1" at the roots shudder:.

I used to put it up into 2 french rolls stacked on top of one another (I didn't have the length for 1) and then tuck the shortest bits up into it with the end of a rat tail comb and then smooth the "roll" until they blended together. I wore it like that for a year until I'd cut off all the horror :p.

If I knew what I knew now, I would have alternated that with a wet set on big big rollers for a sleek bob look.

Good luck in growing a beautiful healthy head of hair!

[Seeshami]

Wigs are fun. You could always buy the hair of your dreams and wear it whenever

[spookyghost]

Im so sorry about your hair. I have had to grow out some awful hair cuts there were suppose to only be trims. One bad cut took me three years to get it looking pretty good and then the hd I was going to that saved me from that awful cut quit and I never saw her again. I had to find someone else. I told my next hd exactly what my old hd would always do and somehow there must have been a miscommunication because I got four inches cut off and layers-strange layers. I was back to the drawing board!:( I couldnt believe it.

What made all that harder to deal with is that this was all before I found LHC. Im pretty hair challanged. Im not that talented in hair up-do's and styling it at all. I have no idea why but I am horrible making my hair look nice. So I never thought to use headbands or scrunching to help while I had to grow my hair out again. And I love headbands. They are sooo versitile. They work on long and short hair. I just wish I would have used them when I had my bad cuts. They would have made all the difference in the world.

Good luck. I feel your pain, I really do. The positive I would be looking at is that all the color and damage is now off for good! Thats how I looked at it when it was me. I thought that at least my hair is very healthy now. It was the only positive thing I could hold on to!

[beautifulending]

I cut my hair back in June so I can grow out my natural color. at first I HATED it but then it started growing(2ins) and now I love it(but I can't wait til I have bsl again)