I need some serious help, I feel so defeated.

[millyaulait]

I've become so sad about my hair never really looking 'right'.

I've tried countless conditioners & techniques for CO-washing and failed.

I've been doing regular S&C with Aubrey Organics and yet still my hair is limp, sometimes coated, greasy after one day, etc.

My ends are DRY as heck & this worries me.

I've tried clarifying, using different oils, vinegar rinses, protein, etc.

It seems like nothing works & it's really upsetting because I just want to find ONE thing that works for me so I can have beautiful hair.

I used to use Kerastase before I came to LHC. It made my hair bouncy, superclean, very shiny, etc.

I was getting regular trims so I don't know if it was drying or damaging or not beneath the surface. It might have just been the alcohol that made it so shiny or something.

Sometimes I want to go back to using Kerastase but I worry about the cones. I stretch my washing & I don't know if cones + stretching = damaged hair.

I would hate to have nice looking hair but actually damaged hair underneath the cones + chemicals, if you know what I mean?

I just don't know what to do. I really don't. I just want pretty hair like you guys. :(

[Alva]

Not all hair gets damaged of cone use and not all hair is doing well without it. I am always using cones, because my hair gets a mess else, and the thing that is always said about cones hiding the damage I never encountered. If there is damage, with or without cones, both times I see it. I do not get why people try so hard to remain without cones when it all depends on what your own hair needs, and if that is doing better with cones, then so be it.

[sazzie88]

You sond like my hair twin! I have greasy roots and such dry ends. My hair isnt soft and tangle free ever. When i used to abuse my hair with bleach and hot irons it looked and felt beautiful and I never noticed splits. Now I hate it.

I will be wtaching very closely, as I am the same nothing I do helps :)

[Alvrodul]

If cones make your hair shiny, healthy and happy, then cones is what your hair needs!
Cones aren't evil, and there are many here who find that they are the way to go - just ask Luxepiggy! She is definitely one who loves cones, and hair is gorgeous! :D

[DragonLady]

I say "whatever works". If you were happier with the products you were using before, by all means go back to using them now.

[FrannyG]

Lots and lots of LHCers use cones. I personally don't at the moment, but only because I don't need them right now. I did use cones for over a year not too long ago, because at the time I did need them.

You hear a lot of bad press here about cones, but you'd be shocked at the silent (possible) majority of people here who do use cones.

Cones are not the devil. Cones are only bad for people who don't know when it's time to clarify their hair.

You have enough hair knowledge from LHC to know that it's good to clarify and do a moisture treatment from time to time. Your hair will usually let you know when that time is.

Suffering in the name of what other people's idea of healthy hair is makes the growth process a pain, and not the pleasure it ought to be.

Use the products that your hair loves! :blossom:

[millyaulait]

Not all hair gets damaged of cone use and not all hair is doing well without it. I am always using cones, because my hair gets a mess else, and the thing that is always said about cones hiding the damage I never encountered. If there is damage, with or without cones, both times I see it. I do not get why people try so hard to remain without cones when it all depends on what your own hair needs, and if that is doing better with cones, then so be it.

Thank you, I've always been told that cones coat the hair, therefore stopping any moisture entering the hair shaft & drying it out. I guess it's one of those myths?

I am just worried because the last thing I want to do is make my rubbish hair even worse. :)

[millyaulait]

You sond like my hair twin! I have greasy roots and such dry ends. My hair isnt soft and tangle free ever. When i used to abuse my hair with bleach and hot irons it looked and felt beautiful and I never noticed splits. Now I hate it.

I will be wtaching very closely, as I am the same nothing I do helps :)

Oh, sorry you're going through this too!

Hopefully we will find what works for us ASAP!

[millyaulait]

If cones make your hair shiny, healthy and happy, then cones is what your hair needs!
Cones aren't evil, and there are many here who find that they are the way to go - just ask Luxepiggy! She is definitely one who loves cones, and hair is gorgeous! :D

Thank you... :)

[millyaulait]

I say "whatever works". If you were happier with the products you were using before, by all means go back to using them now.

I guess I am just worried about making it worse, I'm so paranoid & desperate for things to work, especially since any damage I'm doing might be hidden by the cones.

Maybe it would be worth a test-run. :)

[millyaulait]

Lots and lots of LHCers use cones. I personally don't at the moment, but only because I don't need them right now. I did use cones for over a year not too long ago, because at the time I did need them.

You hear a lot of bad press here about cones, but you'd be shocked at the silent (possible) majority of people here who do use cones.

Cones are not the devil. Cones are only bad for people who don't know when it's time to clarify their hair.

You have enough hair knowledge from LHC to know that it's good to clarify and do a moisture treatment from time to time. Your hair will usually let you know when that time is.

Suffering in the name of what other people's idea of healthy hair is makes the growth process a pain, and not the pleasure it ought to be.

Use the products that your hair loves! :blossom:

Thank you very much. :)

So if I make sure to moisturize & clarify every now and again I should be safe?

[Carolyn]

Cones are not the evil stuff that they are sometimes said to be. And please realize stretching washes isn't always the glorious thing that it's cracked up to be here at LHC. If I were you I'd clarify really well and go back to the old products and routine and see what happens. In my time here on the hair boards, I've given AO products 2 trial times. I think there was maybe a 2 year gap between the times I used those products. Both times my hair was greasy at the roots and straw-like on the ends. It was greasy and lank and had no body and shine. I was using white vinegar rinses. Sound familiar? Go back to your old favorites and don't worry about using cones or how often you are washing your hair.

[Alva]

Thank you, I've always been told that cones coat the hair, therefore stopping any moisture entering the hair shaft & drying it out. I guess it's one of those myths?

I am just worried because the last thing I want to do is make my rubbish hair even worse. :)

I never experienced this, I don't do misting even and my ends are not dry. Whenever my ends are dry it is because there is build-up, which I remove with a vinegar rinse, but this happens maybe twice a year. My haircare further is very basic, and always with cones. Else it gets tangly and dry for me, with cones I don't have this problem. I think you should just try and see what works best for you, there is no standard treatment that works the same for everyone, different hair, different needs. I can't imagine being without cones, for others it is the other way around. If you say the cone stuff worked for you, I would simply go back to that. Hope you will find a solution soon! :)

[afu]

I would say just do what makes your hair happy - if your hair is happy with cones, use cones. Personally I avoid cones simply because I CO and I get too much build up if I CO with coney products, but if you are shampooing and conditioning each time you shouldn't be finding a lot of build up problems, especially if the shampoo is an SLS shampoo.

The important thing is to 'listen' to your hair and learn to treat it's demands, if cones make it happy, use cones. If you start feeling like you have product build up, clarify. If you are experiencing a lot of dryness, SMT etc etc

[Gillian]

Sounds like protein over load/buildup. i have the same problem and i did a baking soda and water rinse followed by a apple cider vinegar and water rinse and it got ridof the buildup and left my hair really soft :)

[pink.sara]

I always, even when my hair is virgin, have greasy roots in 24 hours and dry ends if I try to stretch washes longer.

I think it is because my natural hair is so straight and so fine it loses moisture easily (thinking coarser hair has a thicker cuticle and keeps it in better).

I use Kerastase as my go to products daily now. I also use coconut oil rather then serum as a leave in to help keep the good stuff in.

As a result I have hair that is shiny, healthy, well balanced and split free even though it's 26 inches long and bleached several times.
It is only cones that make this possible, decades of experimenting with no-cone natural solutions have led me back to anodimethicone, the best cone in the world (not all cones are created equal).

So cones are just fine with me. Who says you have to be washing your hair with soapnuts and herbs?! Do what your hair wants :)

[Of the Fae]

Don't worry :) cones do not eat hair, they form a sillicone layer to protect the hair. For some it can make it dry, but for me it provides slip and protection to improve my hair and make it less brittle. Before I used cones my hair just was unmanageable, it took me an hour to brush it because it is so much. Now it takes me 20 minutes.
I'm sure you can find a solution to your dry ends :) Try a nice hairmask, and if nothing works you could always do a (micro)trim. Sometimes that is the only thing that helps.
Btw, have you tried EVOO yet? Worked for my dry ends too

[MsBubbles]

Do what works for YOUR hair! I do a scalp wash every day. Those might offer you a solution to preserve your ends while having a clean and presentable scalp. If I didn't wash my scalp hair every day, I'd be an anti-social, greasy, smelly and unpresentable mess, and I just can't do that with my job. Stretching washes only works for some lucky people, but certainly not all of us. Fine haired people can get away with it less.

If I only used Aubrey Organics shampoo and conditioners, I would not be able to get a comb through my hair and it would look very ugly, very fast. I use cones if I want to wear my hair down, and no-cones if I am planning on wearing it in updos for a while. With cones my hair slips out of every updo, but I can wear it down. Without cones I can get it into updos more easily, but my hair looks like a bunched up wad of cotton candy when down.

[sazzie88]

Oh, sorry you're going through this too!

Hopefully we will find what works for us ASAP!


Thank you! :)

[Katze]

Cones are not the evil stuff that they are sometimes said to be. And please realize stretching washes isn't always the glorious thing that it's cracked up to be here at LHC.

What she said.

I have hair that regularly looks bad. It looks unhealthy, even when it's not, stringy, greasy on top, dry ends etc. Lately WO washing has been working with me - with a CWC or even (gasp!) CW wash every 4 washes or so, as needed.

It is almost impossible for me to find a 'routine.' There's no such thing, for my hair. But what I do know is that stretching washes just makes me miserable, 'cones make my hair look good (but scalp gets easily unhappy), and product (gel, mousse) as well as leave-in moisturizers (conditioner or Fox's Shea Butter Conditioning Cream) are necessary to make my hair look decent.

Also, sometimes when I have what you are describing, a simple SMT makes everything better again. :)

good luck!

[SpinDance]

Oh sweetheart! I understand that you want to do what is best for your hair, but the only way to know what is best is to try things. It clearly sounds like your current experiment is not successful, so move on. Cones aren't evil by any means. They are a tool that may or may not work for your particular job/hair.

Results are what matter. Just because some people get better results by avoiding cones doesn't mean we all do, or that we all do all the time. Just because some people get better results by stretching washes doesn't mean we all do. (Check out CinnamonHair for an example of someone who washes daily with great results.)

If you try something and it gives results you don't want, you've learned something. Use that knowledge. Personally I've been having some success without cones. But I've been getting the slip and protection from oils of various sorts, which fulfills the same niche. Does that mean I tossed the bottles of pre-LHC coney products? Nope, too cheap for that, besides, what if I end up learning that cones properly used give me better results than what I'm testing now? I don't want to have to buy stuff all over again. Do I care whether cones are in the stuff that gives me results I want? No, no really. I don't consider them evil, and if they give me what I want, I'll use them.

[FrannyG]

Cones are not the evil stuff that they are sometimes said to be. And please realize stretching washes isn't always the glorious thing that it's cracked up to be here at LHC. If I were you I'd clarify really well and go back to the old products and routine and see what happens. In my time here on the hair boards, I've given AO products 2 trial times. I think there was maybe a 2 year gap between the times I used those products. Both times my hair was greasy at the roots and straw-like on the ends. It was greasy and lank and had no body and shine. I was using white vinegar rinses. Sound familiar? Go back to your old favorites and don't worry about using cones or how often you are washing your hair.

I often notice that we LHC long-timers tend to agree on a lot of subjects. Coincidence, or experience? I think the latter. :flowers:

[jacqueline101]

I agree you have to do whatever works.

[millyaulait]

Cones are not the evil stuff that they are sometimes said to be. And please realize stretching washes isn't always the glorious thing that it's cracked up to be here at LHC. If I were you I'd clarify really well and go back to the old products and routine and see what happens. In my time here on the hair boards, I've given AO products 2 trial times. I think there was maybe a 2 year gap between the times I used those products. Both times my hair was greasy at the roots and straw-like on the ends. It was greasy and lank and had no body and shine. I was using white vinegar rinses. Sound familiar? Go back to your old favorites and don't worry about using cones or how often you are washing your hair.

Thanks so much, I guess it's worth a try going back there. :)

[millyaulait]

I never experienced this, I don't do misting even and my ends are not dry. Whenever my ends are dry it is because there is build-up, which I remove with a vinegar rinse, but this happens maybe twice a year. My haircare further is very basic, and always with cones. Else it gets tangly and dry for me, with cones I don't have this problem. I think you should just try and see what works best for you, there is no standard treatment that works the same for everyone, different hair, different needs. I can't imagine being without cones, for others it is the other way around. If you say the cone stuff worked for you, I would simply go back to that. Hope you will find a solution soon! :)

Thank you :)

[millyaulait]

I would say just do what makes your hair happy - if your hair is happy with cones, use cones. Personally I avoid cones simply because I CO and I get too much build up if I CO with coney products, but if you are shampooing and conditioning each time you shouldn't be finding a lot of build up problems, especially if the shampoo is an SLS shampoo.

The important thing is to 'listen' to your hair and learn to treat it's demands, if cones make it happy, use cones. If you start feeling like you have product build up, clarify. If you are experiencing a lot of dryness, SMT etc etc

Thank you, you're right about how I have to pay attention to what my hair actually wants.

I've just been frustrated with trying so many things that I guess I was waiting for my hair to eventually just behave. :P

[millyaulait]

Sounds like protein over load/buildup. i have the same problem and i did a baking soda and water rinse followed by a apple cider vinegar and water rinse and it got ridof the buildup and left my hair really soft :)

I tried this with no luck but I'm glad it worked for you! :)

[millyaulait]

I always, even when my hair is virgin, have greasy roots in 24 hours and dry ends if I try to stretch washes longer.

I think it is because my natural hair is so straight and so fine it loses moisture easily (thinking coarser hair has a thicker cuticle and keeps it in better).

I use Kerastase as my go to products daily now. I also use coconut oil rather then serum as a leave in to help keep the good stuff in.

As a result I have hair that is shiny, healthy, well balanced and split free even though it's 26 inches long and bleached several times.
It is only cones that make this possible, decades of experimenting with no-cone natural solutions have led me back to anodimethicone, the best cone in the world (not all cones are created equal).

So cones are just fine with me. Who says you have to be washing your hair with soapnuts and herbs?! Do what your hair wants :)

Your hair is BEAUTIFUL! :)

Thank you, I'm going to try the cones and see what happens.

[millyaulait]

Don't worry :) cones do not eat hair, they form a sillicone layer to protect the hair. For some it can make it dry, but for me it provides slip and protection to improve my hair and make it less brittle. Before I used cones my hair just was unmanageable, it took me an hour to brush it because it is so much. Now it takes me 20 minutes.
I'm sure you can find a solution to your dry ends :) Try a nice hairmask, and if nothing works you could always do a (micro)trim. Sometimes that is the only thing that helps.
Btw, have you tried EVOO yet? Worked for my dry ends too

That's such good news! I'm glad it's working for you. :)

I've tried EVOO, it helps a little but my ends have been super dry for soooo long.

[millyaulait]

Do what works for YOUR hair! I do a scalp wash every day. Those might offer you a solution to preserve your ends while having a clean and presentable scalp. If I didn't wash my scalp hair every day, I'd be an anti-social, greasy, smelly and unpresentable mess, and I just can't do that with my job. Stretching washes only works for some lucky people, but certainly not all of us. Fine haired people can get away with it less.

If I only used Aubrey Organics shampoo and conditioners, I would not be able to get a comb through my hair and it would look very ugly, very fast. I use cones if I want to wear my hair down, and no-cones if I am planning on wearing it in updos for a while. With cones my hair slips out of every updo, but I can wear it down. Without cones I can get it into updos more easily, but my hair looks like a bunched up wad of cotton candy when down.

Wonderful! :)

I hope it works like it used to!

[millyaulait]

What she said.

I have hair that regularly looks bad. It looks unhealthy, even when it's not, stringy, greasy on top, dry ends etc. Lately WO washing has been working with me - with a CWC or even (gasp!) CW wash every 4 washes or so, as needed.

It is almost impossible for me to find a 'routine.' There's no such thing, for my hair. But what I do know is that stretching washes just makes me miserable, 'cones make my hair look good (but scalp gets easily unhappy), and product (gel, mousse) as well as leave-in moisturizers (conditioner or Fox's Shea Butter Conditioning Cream) are necessary to make my hair look decent.

Also, sometimes when I have what you are describing, a simple SMT makes everything better again. :)

good luck!

Thank you, I think I have to remember that maybe a steady routine isn't for everyone.

I am going to listen to my hair more and adjust to its needs.. :)

[millyaulait]

Oh sweetheart! I understand that you want to do what is best for your hair, but the only way to know what is best is to try things. It clearly sounds like your current experiment is not successful, so move on. Cones aren't evil by any means. They are a tool that may or may not work for your particular job/hair.

Results are what matter. Just because some people get better results by avoiding cones doesn't mean we all do, or that we all do all the time. Just because some people get better results by stretching washes doesn't mean we all do. (Check out CinnamonHair for an example of someone who washes daily with great results.)

If you try something and it gives results you don't want, you've learned something. Use that knowledge. Personally I've been having some success without cones. But I've been getting the slip and protection from oils of various sorts, which fulfills the same niche. Does that mean I tossed the bottles of pre-LHC coney products? Nope, too cheap for that, besides, what if I end up learning that cones properly used give me better results than what I'm testing now? I don't want to have to buy stuff all over again. Do I care whether cones are in the stuff that gives me results I want? No, no really. I don't consider them evil, and if they give me what I want, I'll use them.

Thanks so much, you're right!

I am just going to do what my hair needs & hopefully it will settle and I will love my hair again. :)

[Paladin]

Don't know if this has been mentioned yet but since my hair is growing past collar-length I noticed how tangly the ends were getting (due mainly to wearing collared shirts i think, causes the hair to randomly bunch up at the current length).

Anyway, that combined with the fact that it seemed dry-ish a lot of the time made me try this and it worked -- After getting out of the shower and pat-drying my hair, I use Nutrogena triple-moisture cream and first put some on my hands and fingers and run my fingers thru my hair to loosen it up, I do the top, sides, and especially ends and back. Then I take some more and apply it to a wider toothed comb and run the comb thru the back and ends of my hair very gently, this applies it all over. This is on top of the fact that I only partially rinse conditioner out (note though that I use Nizoral shampoo every day for hair growth purposes) so some of my conditioner acts as a "leave in".

Now when my hair dries it is MUCH softer and much more moisturized, and tangles are significantly reduced and easier to comb thru during the day.

Hope that helps. Good luck!

[Amber_Maiden]

I'd go back to using the Kerastase. Stop worrying. It worked, so use it. Some peoples hair just like cones. It's not really a good or bad thing.

[MeowScat]

We have almost the same hairtype and I've had the same problem. Greasy scalp the next day, dry ends. If it could be the opposite, I'd do a happy dance.

Recently, I've gone back to Biolage Conditioning Balm and my hair has never been softer and DH says it's really shiney. It's cone-free and Sally sells the generic brand for seven dollars. I vote for giving it a shot, it's a miracle in a bottle for me.

I've tried and miserably failed at fixing my oily scalp. The only way I can fix it without doing a full wash everyday is to do scalp washes. Either in the shower or in my kitchen sink. I twist my length into a shower cap or 2 plastic bags and hold it with a scrunchie. Stretching washes didn't work for me at all. I just have to accept that my scalp loves to over produce oil no matter what. Sigh....

Also, a good S & D helps my length look and feel better.

Don't give up, Milly. :)

[Tia2010]

You said it yourself

"I used to use Kerastase before I came to LHC. It made my hair bouncy, superclean, very shiny, etc."

Sounds like you know what works :D Experimenting is great but if you're not happy with your hair where's the fun in that?

I used cones for years before finding LHC and my hair was in great condition. Do what works for you and your hair.

One size does not fit all, especially in haircare :D

[Silken]

My hair loves cones, as long as I clarify regularly. I use cones, I alternate with cone free products, I use oils, I use serums, I use whatever I feel my hair needs on any given day.
It's soft and shiny, I have zero split ends.
It's not about hard set rules, it's about what works for YOUR hair.
You wouldn't use greasy moisturizers on your skin if you had oily skin, would you?
Or eat dairy products if you were lactose intolerant?
It's about YOUR individual needs.
Good luck, and please post a pic when you're happy with the results!!! :D

[spidermom]

Some say cones block moisture out; I say cones lock moisure in.
Wash your hair whenever it needs to be washed. I believe that people who are successful at stretching the time between washes were probably washing their hair too often out of habit.

[jeanniet]

Cones are only bad for people who don't know when it's time to clarify their hair.

While I agree that cones aren't necessarily bad and she should go back to them if they were working for her, your generalization really isn't fair. Cones don't work for everybody. I would actually love to be able to use cones to help with tangling, but cones + my water + my hair = yuck, and I've tried just about every cone out there. I'd have to clarify with every wash ( and I do know when to clarify!), and even then the results would be spotty at best.

So my advice would be to use what works for your hair, no matter what anyone else says. We're all different, our hair's different, and our circumstances are different. Just because something is great for 100 people doesn't mean it will work for you, and just because 100 people tell you something is bad doesn't mean it's going to be true for your hair.

[swearnsue]

One of the many things I've learned on LHC is that modern inventions/chemicals are my friends. (sometimes!)

[Amethyste]

If Kerastase made you and your hair happy, that's easy enough! Get back to it and embrace your hair! I went the no cone route and my hair revolted.

What do you mean by making "it" worse? If your mood is worse because of the way your hair is, you have an easy solution.

[heidi w.]

It's remotely possible that you have a scalp skin condition that you may not know about. The greasy roots description causes me to think perhaps that you might have Seborrheic Dermatitus. Do you feel itchy scalp a lot? Do you have any kinds of flakes? Do you have an red bumps that are somewhat irritated? If you scritch, scratch or massage your scalp, do you have yet more sebum? I do.

The first thing to find out is what kind of hair type you have? Is it curly, wavy, stick straight? Are you fine haired or coarse haired?

If curly/wavy, these people tend to have also fairly coarse hair and as a tendency tend to have a bit drier hair than other hair types. This hair type needs lots of moisture, and CO washing is commonly recommended for very curly hair types, if not also some wavy hair types. Perhaps you can CO wash just the length, and not the scalp skin related hair, meaning nothing is on the scalp skin; no conditioner touches the scalp skin. I only condition my length because of S.D. IF I apply stuff to my scalp skin, I can pretty much count on having an outbreak of S.D.

You might consider Scritching your scalp skin prior to a given hair wash to help improve the effectiveness.

I would also suggest that if you have this greasy roots issue, that you more frequently wash your hair, not less frequently. You can give scalp washing a try to see if you can do it with your hair length. To get the hang of scalp washing, it takes a few tries to master it. AT least it did me, and a few of my friends had a similar experience. The first thing to know in scalp washing is that you have to face the shower and lean over into the shower water. I'm so good at it now I can wash very little to all the scalp head hair even down the back.....

More later..ok, back again. I had to take a quick break...sorry for the interruption.

IF you have curly hair, might I suggest taking a look at the book Curly Girl and noticing how she recommends her two different ways of CO washing, one includes washing the scalp related hair if you're super coily; the other merely washes the length only with conditioner. According to LHC folks, CO washing takes a little time to get used to.

You might also want or need to know about Devashon Salon which sells curly girl shampoos and conditioners. That might help you. For curlies, using shampoos with sulfates tends to dull and limp out the curls....so she has low- and no-poo shampoos, meaning low to no sulfates....

If you have straight hair as I do, I oil my entire length after my hair is air dry to maintain the moisture balance. And because of my S.D. I now use a specific shampoo that helps me a lot, although initially I had to work with Nizoral shampoo (tried both the OTC and prescription versions....) before I got the outbreaks under control, and followed with an ACV rinse. Now I do none of that, although if one has a scalp skin condition, one might consider also washing their detangling comb and pillowcase somewhat regularly (once a week). And the comb wash (even purse combs...) wash every time you wash your hair, and never miss.

A while back, I made a youtube video covering how I detangle my hair, oil my hair and BBB my hair. Perhaps this video will help you out. I have ideas on showing how I wash my hair, wash my hair comb, some updo video ideas, and maybe one or two on my hair comb collection for fun and for the curious. But now I'm knee deep in school and studies.

Here's my video. If you have curly/wavy hair, you'll need to oil while wet, not as I do once the hair is dry. And if you are curly, BBBing may not be for you.

I will recommend you approach finding your routine in a very methodical way. Don't wildly guess around. Take into account your hair type, and start with that as a starter kit. I would also recommend you find a hair twin on LHC, and copy what they do. It is not overly hard to get a routine, but I can only help you so much since I'm not there to help you, and see what you do. Beware of overly fussy routines because most people will not keep these up over a lifetime. You can dilute conditioners and shampoos, if need be. I would also advocate you read, read, read. Learn what the Acid Mantle is (findable on the internet); learn the benefits of ACVing, learn what clarifying means and how to do it. Those are the basic pieces of information to have and know.

Here's my video link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjVwPKMQDYk

Glean what you can from it that you think useful; otherwise ignore the rest that doesn't fit for you. Everyone's hair is unique.

Be patient. This will get solved, somehow, and probably sooner than later. All people have a period of fumbling around. That's a bit normal. Just be patient. That's the main thing, and make one change at a time. Don't change everything at once. That's how my hair guru taught me, when I learned how to wash my hair, then he taught me how to detangle, and then when I learned that, he taught me how to oil, and when I learned that he taught me how to BBB, and when I learned that, he started teaching me how to do fancy braids, and when I learned that he taught me updos, and then I was off on my own. He had a big thing that if one had long hair it shouldn't look bad. He was even the first one who pointed out to me the bumps on my head, which I eventually learned was Seborrheic Dermatitus. I also suggest you might like to visit my hair album because it shows how short I started compared to how long I am now. Just to prove it can be done, and with multi-layered hair, too.


heidi w.

[patienceneeded]

Use what makes your hair happy! Personally, I love my hair when I use cones, My hair is "ok" without, but tangles and doesn't look as nice. I went back to regular shampoo and conditioner washing, every other day, using the products full of SLS and 'Cones. Guess what? MY hair is happy, happy, happy. I cant stretch washes any further than every-other-day, I get too greasy. If I can wear a hat, I'll go an extra day without washing every once in a while. Everybody's hair reacts differently to products and washing methods, what works for one does not work for all. Go back to your old routine and products and see what happens. (Perhaps clarify first, so you have a clean slate to start with)

[catamonica]

I use a spray bottle with olive oil & water. Leave it on five minutes. Then shampoo. I added two capfuls of olive oil to my shampoo & conditioner. And Aloe Vera gel to my conditioner. And I put conditioner in my hair twice in the shower. It all helps. But the oil before shampoo & conditioning it twice helps my dry hair & ends. I hope this helps.

[ratgirldjh]

Use what WORKS for your hair.

CO in general was very bad for my hair. I have gone most of my life without conditioner and when I suddenly decided to try CO washing my hair freaked out and I lost a lot of hairs for the first time ever after a washing. Same thing when I decided to try SLS shampoo.

So I don't do those things.

You know what works - use it! There is nothing worse than doing something that is 'supposed' to work well and having it be a disaster for your hair. :D

[ratgirldjh]

Oh and a friend of mine has the most beautiful hair and uses Kerastase shampoo and conditioner!!!

[heidi w.]

Use what WORKS for your hair.

CO in general was very bad for my hair. I have gone most of my life without conditioner and when I suddenly decided to try CO washing my hair freaked out and I lost a lot of hairs for the first time ever after a washing. Same thing when I decided to try SLS shampoo.

So I don't do those things.

You know what works - use it! There is nothing worse than doing something that is 'supposed' to work well and having it be a disaster for your hair. :D

I have noticed over the decades of being on LHC, that a fair number of people who CO wash, report an initial increase in shedding. According to LHC members that CO wash, apparently this takes a little bit of transitional time. Some indeed have reported it didn't work well for their hair. I was merely suggesting giving it a try. A try is perhaps as many as three times, in my mind.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

I use a spray bottle with olive oil & water. Leave it on five minutes. Then shampoo. I added two capfuls of olive oil to my shampoo & conditioner. And Aloe Vera gel to my conditioner. And I put conditioner in my hair twice in the shower. It all helps. But the oil before shampoo & conditioning it twice helps my dry hair & ends. I hope this helps.

That's interesting. Aloe Vera Gel, I thought, was used by curlies to control frizz, not as a conditioner. hmmm. That's the first time I've heard of it used as a conditioner.

heidi w.

[Silverbrumby]

CO washing scares me heidi, when a normal shed is 100 a day then the additional 100 I got CO was too much fore to keep it going.

[catamonica]

Heidi w. I use Aloe Vera gel on my face & hair. I just decided to add 3 cqpfuls to the conditioner
to see if it would make it softer. It really helped. Sometimes I put it on dry hair. On the scalp or ends.

[redsonjared]

As others have already said go with what works for your hair. CWC washing was a disaster for me, but cone and SLS shampoo worked. I keep a daily photographic hair journal on Evernote so I am able to see how my hair reacts to products and weather etc. I give each new thing a trial over time so I can see properly how my hair reacts. If it reacts badly I go back to what worked well. For example, I did and ACV rinse the other day - yikes shudder: my hair hated it. It's trial and error over time that will help you find what works with your hair. Don't give up!

[tiarefleur]

If you already feel defeated what reason is there not to go back to using cones? Especially when you can almost guarantee that you'll be happy with your hair based on your past results...I have to use cones and if I find somewhere down the line that my hair is coated or too dry then I will just clarify and try a no-cone routine.

[Melisande]

Why not switch between shampoos? Twice without cones, once with, or whatever rhythm feels good to you. There are different kinds of cones, too - some wash out more easily than others.

Any shampoo can be made milder by diluting or adding oil or both. There is no need to use it the way it is sold - most shampoos are much too strong for hair and scalp.

Don't despair if your hair doesn't look the way you want it to. Reconciling to the hair you have is the first step on your journey to healthy, happy hair. Don't forget that here on TLHC you can see many glorious head in wonderful photos - but each of us has specific problems and we are our own severest critics and the grass... you know what I want to say.

Take your time and don't run from experiment to experiment so quickly. Find out what your hair really needs. From what I understand, your scalp needs to be left alone and not de-greasified so strongly. It reacts with producing more sebum every time you remove the sebum completely. Your scalp probably resents that just like your face would - it's skin, after all. Imagine washing your face often with strong, undiluted detergent like shampoo or shower gel or strong soap - without adding some emulsion afterwards. Why should your scalp react happily?

Massage your scalp with jojoba oil the night before you wash (or any other oil) and wash it out gently with conditioner, diluted in water, with a little bit of shampoo.

And for your ends, you need oil, too. A little bit after washing (lanolin is very good for my hair), more before washing. Mix oil and conditioner and put it on your lengths and ends, cover with a sandwich bag, let it soak. Wash out gently.

These are my tips that have brought my hair to the happy state it is in for now more than three years. I have many complaints - too thin and flat and boring, weird growth patterns, ugly grey coming in etc, but all these are impossible to change. They are not the result of my treatment or care but simply facts of nature. I have to accept them and live with them. I'd give a lot to have waves or curls but I dno't.

Things like your complaints are possible to change: greasy scalp by not battling sebum like an enemy, and dry ends by giving them the right mixture of oil and water (emulsion).