Now That I'm At Waist - Don't Care Anymore

[Vanille_]

I'm posting this, inspired by another thread. I know that many of you are just starting to grow your hair. It might feel like a lifetime away before you reach your goal. But I'd love to share the best advice I've learned from LHC - it's okay to NOT obsess about everything hair. Just enjoy whatever length you have. Those styles you like now? Some of them will be impossible later.

I haven't bothered to measure my hair since I reached waist, but I can tell you this: I miss my short-hair hairstyles, how fast it took to wash my hair, how shedding didn't seem as big a deal, how it only took a half a jar and a quarter of the time it takes now to color my hair, how braids didn't wear my arms out and redoing a braid wasnt as time consuming. And mostly, I miss the adorable styles.

Now that my hair is this long, I don't ever like to wear it down for two main reasons: 1. It's hot and humid. Wearing my hair up outside isn't optional. 2. It's long enough that it can be annoying and unless I want to brush my hair every five minutes, its not going to look very neat.

In December, I made a post on LHC about how my shedding was stressing me out so badly. I got some great advice then: benign neglect. For me, that meant taking a break from LHC altogether. And I suggest anyone stressing out every day about their hair, try it. Find a new hobby/community for a bit if you need a break. I joined a forum about couponing, budgeting, sales - and it has been awesome. I picked up a new hobby instead of worrying over my hair.

Your hair will get long. It may take years, but it will get there. My best advice is to try new styles with it now that will not be possible later. Have fun and ENJOY your hair now! Focus on other things in your life and try not to stress over your hair too much.

Much love, LHC!

[Tia2010]

Good post :)

I'm old enough to know not to rush things and enjoy the ride...yet, when it comes to my hair I get caught up in the "I want it long now!" Mentality. Thanks for the reminder to enjoy this stage too :)

[Long_hair_bear]

I want to learn to knit or crochet. I stress over my hair too much and I know I do. I just wish it would grow faster. It always seems to say the same length. :(

[Ebrox]

great advice! :)

[swearnsue]

That is really great advice and advice that I needed. Thank you. My hair is about shoulder length which I like right now because it is easy to wash and comb.

[neko_kawaii]

Well said, bravo!

[jojo]

Excellent and very true advice, I go away from the forum from time to time, just to make myself realise there's more to life than obsessing about my hair! It grows regardless, I agree enjoy every stage but don't let it over take your life!

[Lostsoule77]

That is some really great advice! I was on here constantly for the first year. However I wasn't on here most of this year. Hubby thought I was getting weird with all the hair stuff.

My hairs been feeling dull lately because I've been being too benign negletful so I decided it was time to pay some attention to my hair again. :D Been back on constantly the past few days.

[julittleOLD]

Great advice. When going through a heavy shedding period, I became almost depressed about it then I realized hey, It's only hair and life has so much more to be thankful for. Now shedding has gotten back to normal and all is well. Thanks for the reminder.

[CurlyCap]

I bypass a lot of the obsessive feelings over my hair length/health by obsessing about....hair recipes!

I think I've nearly burned out my blender making home made deep treatments. It's fun. It's like cooking. It usually smells good (and I've confirmed that Caramel Treatments are delicious on pastries). And since I like doing them, my hair by default is healthy!

I'm happy your finding some sanity with your hair and are able to distance yourself from the need for growth, growth growth. It can be a bit consuming when the goal seems so far away.

[akuamoonmaui]

Why has no one mentioned your hair in beautiful???? Oh.My.Goodness. I feel bad you're not enjoying your hair more, but it's important to be true to your feelings and it's good that share those thoughts 'cause you know others have had them, too.

[cwarren]

Thanks for the reminder :) No one is happy where they are. We obsess over where we want to be and when we get there, we reminisce about the "good ole days". Or maybe it isn't everyone, and its just me...

But yeah, I try not to go crazy over my hair. But every now and again, I start wishing I had more manageable hair like so and so or longer curly hair like that someone I saw on youtube :P

[SerinaDaith]

When my hair is short (like it has been for the last almost three years) I hate it and want it longer. When my hair is long I get impatient and want it to grow faster and when it doesn't I get grumpy and chop it again. That's just the cycle, I am hoping that when I hit that stall at BSL moving on to waist I'll be able to keep away from the chop chop again but we'll see, maybe someone here will tell me to back away from the scissors.

[pink.sara]

Your hair is so pretty! And I rather like the sentiment behind your post.

While this is true and I could probably do with a break from LHC (I'm starting to get snippy, never good).

I can't really do anything with it at the moment. This length from shoulder to Hip is a no mans land where only 1 bun is possible and yet it's majorly heavy and hot. And soaks up tonnes of hairdye.

1 more year and I'll be able to ignore it! :-)

[Mahealani]

I agree completely. Don't search obsessively what's wrong with your hair, it's better to acknowledge what is good and enjoying it. I love my hair, love how it feels against my bare skin, love that tickling sensation of strands on skin, love going with my hand through my hair, and of course love playing with it. I have times when I don't give a frog about how it looks, and it's ok. I have stopped obsessing when my braids aren't perfect, found out that since I got layers, they prefer rope braids than english braid, and that's ok.
I did experience some shedding stress, and it's nasty and annoying. I said to myself: "Well girl, you have long hair. Hair fall out when the time comes. Since you have long hair, it look more horrid to comparison if you would have shorter hair, because it's longer." I changed the shampoo and it got better.
The same goes for searching for split ends. What a nightmare it can be. The longer the hair, the older it is, more fragile can be, hence more prone to split ends. That's a fact.
So ladies and gents, let focus on the good stuff, enjoy our hair no matter if you have a good day or a bad one, have other hobbies, and as the Law of Attraction says, to what you give attention, it grows (and how) - or something like that.

[Lady Neeva]

I'm currently at this stage-a total benign neglector. I simply distract my self by others, such as hair toys.

[afu]

I'm currently at this stage-a total benign neglector. I simply distract my self by others, such as hair toys.

This is what I do, I need another obsession - my hair toy collection is costing me too much!

I'm at a point now where my hair is in good condition (considering the old heat/bleach damage) and I have the perfect hair routine sorted - all I can do now is wait. Gone are my days of experimenting with products and techniques, I just need to wait it out and hopefully wake up to solid dry waist at christmas

[Mayflower]

Well said! I think most people who come to LHC have this stage where they learn all about hair care, they change everything they do and then become a little bit obsessed (been there). It's important to remember that it's just hair. Sometimes I read posts where members freak out about using the "blowfryer" or debate for hours if they'll straighten their hair or feel guilty when they use a (god forbid!) hair elastic with a metal piece. I don't think obsessing is healthy and enjoying your hair is just as important as taking care of it!

[Nae]

I agree that there seems to be LHC stages. These were mine.

Stage 1: Reading for hours trying to absorb all this information.
Stage 2: Insanely trying everything to fix the mess on my head!!
Stage 3: Purchasing mountains of hairtoys because if my hair wasn't cool at least the hairtoys would be.
Stage 4: Settle into my own routine.
Stage 5: Detox. Avoid all product/method/hairtoy threads because I realize I am an insane person I need to stop shopping.
Stage 6: Hanging out with my friends and watching other people go through my previous stages.

[Shona]

Facebook *Like* :)

[Silverbrumby]

Gak... At the obsessed stage lol and hoping for benign neglect soon.

Btw, is there a good couponing site you would recommend?

[SerinaDaith]

Oh yes, please do share couponing info! I am so in!

[Cowgirl16]

Great post Vanille!

It's true; hair takes time to grow; you need to enjoy it every inch along the way. :flower:

[spirals]

I agree that there seems to be LHC stages. These were mine.

Stage 1: Reading for hours trying to absorb all this information.
Stage 2: Insanely trying everything to fix the mess on my head!!
Stage 3: Purchasing mountains of hairtoys because if my hair wasn't cool at least the hairtoys would be.
Stage 4: Settle into my own routine.
Stage 5: Detox. Avoid all product/method/hairtoy threads because I realize I am an insane person I need to stop shopping.
Stage 6: Hanging out with my friends and watching other people go through my previous stages.I'm not really going through this here, but I totally recognize all this from my time at nayurallycurly. I saw that a couple of members there were members and joined here for fun. I'm at bottom of brastrap when stretched now, which was my goal in January. And I was happy with that. But now I'm in danger of the obsession monster again. I needed this PSA. Who knows? Maybe I'll grow it to waist and cut it back to BSL.

[spidermom]

I wish I could settle into a routine of benign acceptance of my hair. I go back and forth between "let it grow to terminal" and "for heaven's sake woman, DO SOMETHING with it."

[Cowgirl16]

I wish I could settle into a routine of benign acceptance of my hair. I go back and forth between "let it grow to terminal" and "for heaven's sake woman, DO SOMETHING with it."

:lol: I have those days

[Neecola]

What a great reminder, Vanille! :toast:

I am definitely enjoying my hair where it is now--though I do look forward to neat updos. I think it helps that I don't have a specific length goal and, more than anything, I just want healthy hair. Thanks to LHC, I already have that!

[spirals]

I kind of like messy updos, like when my layers stick out of my braids. I embrace the ragamuffin look. :)

[catamonica]

It took years for me to get to waist. a bottle of horse shampoo helped. Putting it up helped. I'm now at hip. I just bun it & don't worry about it. Your hair is going to grow longer or it isn't. I just feel blessed to have it this long.

[Vanille_]

I use the forum at www.hotcouponworld.com and I use www.couponmom.com to find the best deals. On couponmom, do watch the tutorial videos to find the most efficient way to get your deals. It involves saving coupon inserts every week. Sometimes a coupon works best with a deal that comes out weeks after the coupon did

[racrane]

I understand completely! I got very obsessive last summer and relaxed a little bit since then. Now I'm enjoying the ride and having fun learning new styles. But I don't get as upset about my hair. I just do what works and have fun with it. That's the beauty of it!