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Faepirate
March 16th, 2008, 08:20 AM
Ugh. Just venting. I am so FRUSTRATED with my hair. It seems that everything I do is a waste on it. It doesn't respond to anything anymore! I have never had nice hair but it's never been awful.... until now. It now looks pretty awful.

Determined to fix the ickiness, I did an SMT this morning for a few hours, then a mermaid soak, shampoo, ACV rinse, condition, and oiled the ends and it's drying now and it feels EVEN WORSE than it did before. It's got this horrible 'sticky' kind of feeling and it's all tangled and gross and dull and lifeless. I don't know what's wrong or what I'm supposed to do with it!

It's just horrible and ugly and it makes me feel sad and disapponted very time I wash it because everyone here has such amazing hair, and mine seems to just be getting nastier and nastier the more careful I am with it and the more I try to fix it.... sure, it's getting longer and there are fewer splits than there were but I still think it looks rough.

I assume I am just using the wrong products, but I have no idea what it is that's in the products that it doesn't like.... :( There's nothing obvious enough that I can pick it out. Grrrrr.

I haven't been using -cones (maybe I should?! I don't know.... my hair never used to be this crap when I was using cones, even if it was frequently dry due to careless handling and too much shampoo...)

I've tried jojoba, coconut and olive oils. And aloe vera. I don't know if it's a problem with one of those. It's hard to say.

I thought maybe it's a protein issue but since I don't know how to recognise any of the proteins in my conditioners I have no idea about that.

I've been using Australian Organics shampoo and the Superdrug Naturals 'Coconut and Sweet Almond Intensive Conditioner' and Original Organics Moisture Infusion Aloe Vera and Jojoba conditioner.

Just feel like tearing it all out right now O_O

I guess I will go to the supermarket and get some different conditioner (I think the shampoo is ok.... maybe if I change just one thing at a time I will eventually find the culprit.)

eadwine
March 16th, 2008, 08:24 AM
I read in your text that your hair was happier using cones. By all means switch back to the cones! :) There are many around here that use cones because their hair is happier with them!

Smokie
March 16th, 2008, 08:25 AM
Sounds to me like you may need to clarify. I could be wrong. I'm no guru.

Perhaps try a baking soda wash (massaged and let sit for a bit), rinse thoroughly, then follow up with an ACV rinse. Condition if you feel like it needs it after (my hair doesn't like me to do ANYTHING without conditioning after).

And DON'T tear it out! I hear it's painful.

:flowers:

Shanarana
March 16th, 2008, 08:30 AM
Just a small note........the pictures we post sure won't be of a bad hair day. ;) unless we do it intentionally.

My hair will freak out on me from time to time and nothing I do seems to help. What I end up doing is leave it alone for a while and wear it up. Sometimes I think doing too much can be just as bad as doing nothing, but that's my opinion.

Faepirate
March 16th, 2008, 08:38 AM
Sounds to me like you may need to clarify. I could be wrong. I'm no guru.

I just clarified last weekend. I seem to be clarifying rather a lot these days. I used to clarify about once a month and now it seems I have to do it every week... I really don't like clarifying that often because it leaves my hair feeling dry even if it does improve the shine.

But I suppose if it needs doing it needs doing. Arrrrg. I just wonder what it is that's making my hair rebel so I need to do this all the time.

I think I will try -cones again and see if there's a difference. If not, then I'll have to come up with another plan....

k_hepburn
March 16th, 2008, 08:44 AM
Determined to fix the ickiness, I did an SMT this morning for a few hours, then a mermaid soak, shampoo, ACV rinse, condition, and oiled the ends and it's drying now and it feels EVEN WORSE than it did before.

You did all that in one go? It makes me wonder if that might not have been a bit counterproductive, that the shampooing and ACV rinse might have erased any effect the SMT may have had. Plus, your hair was being kept wet and interfered with for a considerable number of hours non-stop.

My suggestion would be that you are possibly trying to do too much, at least too much at one time. Maybe your hair would feel better if you scaled down your hair care routine for a while, sticking to WC for your ordinary routine, and just pick one special treament (ACV rinse, mermaid soak or SMT) once a week or even once a fortnight.

Best wishes

katharine

Faepirate
March 16th, 2008, 08:58 AM
The reason why I shampoo'd after the SMT was that my hair was greasy and needed a wash. I did the SMT instead of my usual CWC because I wanted a deeper moisture treatment. But it still needs washing out properly otherwise my hair is a greasy mess.....

jojo
March 16th, 2008, 09:20 AM
I agree with eadwine go back to the cones, I remember Katze having a similar problem and then went back on cones and was happy again. xx

Shanarana
March 16th, 2008, 09:26 AM
I switch back and forth to cones, and no-cones and my hair seems to like the change.

ChloeDharma
March 16th, 2008, 09:28 AM
Sometimes hair does seem to go through weird phases, especially if you change something. One thing i found though is that normally a change needs to be consistant for a while to have an effect. Like when i got serious about oiling, i would soak my hair in it for well, wednesday/thursday-sunday, sunday wash with a DT mix CO style, then light oilings till i got heavy again. It was always in a bun, and it took a while for results to show but after a few months of doing this every week i got a huge improvement. Often before that i felt like giving up though.

I was going to suggest clarifying but you do ACV rinses each wash and have been clarifying weekly. I'm wondering if your ACV rinses are too strong? That can make hair a bit like you describe, maybe weaken them or even skip one so you do them at alternate washes and see if that helps?

girlcat36
March 16th, 2008, 09:34 AM
Sounds like you have 'Special Needs' hair like me!:D
I don't think I'll ever figure out what it's special needs are.
I would recommend a baking soda rinse, too.

Crinita
March 16th, 2008, 09:48 AM
Maybe it's a bit overwhelmed? I believe there is such a thing as too much TLC! For instance you mentioned;

Determined to fix the ickiness, I did an SMT this morning for a few hours, then a mermaid soak, shampoo, ACV rinse, condition, and oiled the ends...

If I did all of this to my hair in one day it would be a nervous, mangled mess from too much of a good thing! :) I find that on days I do SMT it is the only 'special' treatment I do. I shampoo my hair (using whatever I'm using at the time) then condition using the SMT, let it sit for a good while (usually about an hour for me) then rinse, rinse rinse with cool water. I then let it 'hang out' for at least a few days before I do anything else (acv, super oiling, avocado pack etc).

With my blondies, the girls' hair seems to follow the same logic. About the only thing I can do to them in the same weekend that doesn't seem to just mess with their tresses is a super oiling followed by a shampoo and SMT. Anything more than that and they end up with velcro hair. (DSD12's 2b/C/iii & DSD7's 1b/F/i)

I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help for today but it may be something to look at in the future.

Pax,
Crinita

Elfling
March 16th, 2008, 11:11 AM
When my hair gets that yucky feeling, I figure it's time for a good clarifying shampoo and a very light conditioning.

salamander
March 16th, 2008, 12:11 PM
Maybe you should go back to what used to work for a while. Then, once your hair has gone back to normal, you could try new things one at a time, once every two weeks. That way, you could figure out which one's bothering you so much.

spidermom
March 16th, 2008, 12:21 PM
I'd stay away from the baking soda if I were you. It ruined the feel of my hair; no more silkiness. A clarifying shampoo works as well and isn't so alkaline. In fact, a full-strength wash with a gentle shampoo works for me. Usually I CWC with diluted shampoo.

I like to leave the good stuff of SMT in my hair for awhile, so I rinse very thoroughly with warm to cool water, then let it dry. If it looks/feels too tacky, I braid my hair or put it up for a day or two, then CWC with diluted shampoo.

It sounds to me like all that you did to your hair was too much all at once.

Instead of mermaid soaks, try keeping your hair dry as much as possible. I know this isn't true for everyone, but it's true for me, and it may be true for you. Water can cause damage to hair because it swells the shaft and lifts the cuticle, making your hair feel rough. This might be what caused the dullness.

Nicole Marie
March 16th, 2008, 12:26 PM
Hey! Just a suggestion...perhaps get a teensy little trim? Somehow I find trims (i'm talkin a quarter to an eigth of an inch all'round) liven up my hair when it's feeling icky. I can recommend one great deep-moisturizing product very rich in proteins, if you're looking for one, it's called "Beach Blonde" and it's a John Freida product. It was only like $9 and I got it at the local Zellars...I strayed a bit from the directions in that i put it on, and left it in as i diffused my hair to half-dry, and left it in for the next two days. I did this directly following clarifying with the Herbal Essences shampoo for the first time in a month. You'd think it would cause my hair to look really greasy and gross for those two days...but actually, it made my hair look and feel absolutely gorgeous! And when i did rinse it out, my hair felt sooo much better than it has in a long time. So I'd reccommend giving it a try, if you're at your wits end!
If that fails, it could just be a bad-hair-phase. We all get them. It could have to do with what you're eating & stuff. I've heard countless people just say that their hair behaves the best when they *don't* fuss with it...so it may just need a vacation from all the attention ;)

Faepirate
March 16th, 2008, 02:32 PM
Thanks for all the advice.

Hmmmm. ...Now that it's dried I will admit it's not QUITE such a tragedy.

It's actually pretty normal, I guess. A little bit poofy. A bit less silky than I'd like, and the ends still feel a bit on the dry side.... but nothing so terrible.

It just looked and felt dire while it was drying... :| And I was feeling a bit dramatical this afternoon anyway. (All better now :) Double-chocolate cookies and a trip to the cinema cures all!)


I'd stay away from the baking soda if I were you. It ruined the feel of my hair; no more silkiness. A clarifying shampoo works as well and isn't so alkaline.

Yes, I agree... I'm wary of baking soda as well. Clarying shampoo works fine for me. When I clarify, I prefer to use clarifying shampoo half and half with my usual shampoo, because the clarifying shampoo has such a strong smell. That seems to work ok to remove ickiness as long as I condition properly afterwards. I would really like to avoid baking soda if I can!


Maybe it was just a little bit too much for my hair. I was just feeling annoyed and desperate and really just wanted pretty hair..! (don't we all?) I don't usually do so much fussing at one time, but my usual routine didn't seem to be helping my hair so I wanted to try a different method. You know. See if the variation helped. But maybe I did need to tone it down ;)

Well I figured SMT was essentially just a deep condition, and since I usually do CWC I thought it might help my hair to retain more moisture if I did a deep condition for the first C (usually I do a deeper conditioning treatment for the last C, and it doesn't tend to do much... perhaps I'm using the wrong conditioner, though.)


I don't usually ACV - this was the first time I tried that, and it was only a very weak solution.
The mermaid soak was as much for relaxation purposes as a trial run for my hair (I've had such a draining week :( Really needed a de-stress bath soak to revitalise!)



Sounds like you have 'Special Needs' hair like me!

Hee hee. :D I fear you are right...


Anyway.
I think I will try cones again for a while, or maybe between cones and no-cones like Shanarana suggested. Not sure if I can go back to what I used to use though - I went to the shops this afternoon and discovered that my old shampoos and conditioners are no longer available!!! Noooooo! :( What happened to Timotei....? Why does Tesco no longer stock Timotei?! Am I blind? They had a really nice, gentle shea shampoo that my hair used to love. And the Herbal Essence conditioner I used to swear by has also disappeared in to the ether..... grrr. I didn't get on with the others in the Herbal Essences range. So now I'm just gonna have to guess a shampoo. There are too many different sorts. The mind boggles.

*wishing for a world in which there would be only one brand of shampoo called 'SHAMPOO' and one brand of conditioner called 'CONDITIONER', and everything would work purrrrfectly aaaaalllll the time....* :)




Like when i got serious about oiling, i would soak my hair in it for well, wednesday/thursday-sunday, sunday wash with a DT mix CO style, then light oilings till i got heavy again. It was always in a bun, and it took a while for results to show but after a few months of doing this every week i got a huge improvement. Often before that i felt like giving up though.

ChloeDharma, how do you oil? When you say you soak your hair in it, do you mean you literally dip it in oil or just apply loads with your fingers? Just wondering because someone else mentioned dipping their ends in coconut oil and I was surprised, because I would have thought that would leave them caked and stiff.... :) But I suppose if it's bunned, then it doesn't really matter if it's caked. So, how exactly do you work your oilings, just out of curiosity?

When I oil my hair and it's not the night before a wash, depending on which oil I'm using I either apply a little bit with my fingers and massage it into the ends or I spritz it on mixed with spring water (when I do that with olive oil, my hair seems to like it, and gets really soft for a while...).

icydove
March 16th, 2008, 02:40 PM
Maybe you should go back to what used to work for a while. Then, once your hair has gone back to normal, you could try new things one at a time, once every two weeks. That way, you could figure out which one's bothering you so much.

I'm with salamander. Whatever routine you remember having decent hair with, go back to it until your hair gets back to "normal." Then, change things slowly and methodically to find out what works and what doesn't work. Note everything in your journal, including ingredients of products, so you can spot patterns.

Regardless, I'm glad things weren't as bad as you suspected!

Curlsgirl
March 16th, 2008, 02:50 PM
I just wanted to add a few things to what others have said. It is easy to try a lot of things at once because you read so many things that work on different people but really trying one thing at a time is a better option. That way you can find out what works and what doesn't work.

Why did the SMT leave your hair a "greasy mess". Could you have used too heavy a conditioner for it? An SMT should add moisture but not make it greasy with a need of a wash unless you already had buildup and it wasn't enough to take it off or you used too heavy or the wrong type of conditioner.

As for "dipping your ends in oil" I may have been the one you heard that from because it has been a thing that has "cured" my dry ends. I don't know how other oils would work but I use coconut oil. This is how I do it. I braid my hair in an English braid tying it off just above the dry ends. Then I hold my tassel under water to get it completely soaked. Then I take my fingers and gently squeeze out the water. Then I take the jar of coconut oil and dip it in the oil getting as much oil on and through it as possible using your fingers if it's in a solid consistency. Then I take my fingers again and squeeze out the coconut oil as much as I can and leave it, usually overnight. My ends usually absorb all of the coconut oil and it leaves it very soft and not crunchy or dry at all. It is my miracle cure!!! It may not work for everyone but have heard a lot of other people love it too. You should do it exactly as described though. I can imagine a heavier oil not doing as well. I know I can't use oil on dry hair very well either or I tend to get crunch and dryness after it dries.

HTH!

Faepirate
March 16th, 2008, 03:12 PM
Why did the SMT leave your hair a "greasy mess". Could you have used too heavy a conditioner for it? An SMT should add moisture but not make it greasy with a need of a wash unless you already had buildup and it wasn't enough to take it off or you used too heavy or the wrong type of conditioner.

Let me clarify :)
The SMT didn't leave my hair a geasy mess at all- it was wash day and my roots were already greasy before I did the SMT on my length. Hence the need for a proper wash. (I don't shampoo my length, though, unless I am clarifying, so the SMT was acting as a deeper condition in place of the first C in my usual CWC routine.)



As for "dipping your ends in oil" I may have been the one you heard that from because it has been a thing that has "cured" my dry ends. I don't know how other oils would work but I use coconut oil. This is how I do it. I braid my hair in an English braid tying it off just above the dry ends. Then I hold my tassel under water to get it completely soaked. Then I take my fingers and gently squeeze out the water. Then I take the jar of coconut oil and dip it in the oil getting as much oil on and through it as possible using your fingers if it's in a solid consistency. Then I take my fingers again and squeeze out the coconut oil as much as I can and leave it, usually overnight. My ends usually absorb all of the coconut oil and it leaves it very soft and not crunchy or dry at all. It is my miracle cure!!! It may not work for everyone but have heard a lot of other people love it too. You should do it exactly as described though. I can imagine a heavier oil not doing as well. I know I can't use oil on dry hair very well either or I tend to get crunch and dryness after it dries.

Thanks! Yes that was helpful. :) I had wondered about that. I may try it...

ChloeDharma
March 16th, 2008, 04:29 PM
Hun if i could do a Mermaid soak in virgin coconut oil i'd be in heaven!! (noted for lottery win ;))

But sorry, i should have been clearer, when i said soak i meant that i heavily oiled and left it on a long time (days) to soak in, topping up more as and when areas absorbed it or it got rubbed off. I still do this mostly now my hair just loves it. I also often misted at points, normally when getting ready for work or to go out, believe it or not it looked quite neat, if possibly a bit "Croydon facelift" :p

Curlsgirl's idea of dipping the braid tassell in melted coconut oil is a good idea though and i think i've heard of other people doing this. I'm just wondering if the introduction of water from the wetness of the tassell would make the coconut oil spoil quickly?
Another one that is good is i think what Ursula did/does which is to oil the length with coconut oil (i think it's coconut) then braid and smother the tassell with castor oil.

Mahars
March 16th, 2008, 05:37 PM
I'm not sure if anyone has suggested this yet, but it's possible that your hair might be over moisturized. Sometimes the more I moisturize, the more icky and spongy and tangly my hair gets. It's funny how similar it feels to build-up.

Also, one other idea is to simply leave it alone for a few days to give it a chance to recover and then slowly add one product at a time over the course of a few days to see if one of them is making your hair rebel.

meliora
March 16th, 2008, 07:04 PM
My hair did the same thing to me shortly after I joined LHC, it was dry and lifeless because I was experimenting so much. My hair doesn't like "natural" products; it prefers chemicals, even though sometimes I would like to use something more natural. My hair loves cones.

Too much oil can cause dryness. ACV is not good for some people and makes their hair dry.

I use the same regular chemical stuff, but I am a lot more careful about handling my hair and do deep treatments (oilings) once in a while. I don't brush as much, stopped using any kind of dye or heat styling, and reduced washing from every day to every other day. My hair is happy now.

Maybe what you are using, the milder products, don't work well for your hair. If you hair was better before, I don't see anything bad about going back to the cones and other "evil" things.

tiny_teesha
March 20th, 2008, 08:09 AM
you may need more protein??? or clarify- but i see you have tried these and your hair isn't so bad afterall.
AO the orange bottles have protien. It says soya and wheat proteins on the front.
My hair just did the same thing. It decided one day that it hates protein out of the blue after being addicted to it. Don't know why!!! Now i am moisturising it up and oiling with EVOO instead of coconut and shea and it is behaving more. I've also ditched shampoo and gone for herbs full time. it still is not soft, it hasn;t been for years. I pretty much have to grow out my damage, the henna made it coarse- so although it is healthier it lost its softness (first henna is was soft!)
Maybe you can try a cassia treatment to help shine and smooth it up?
I often over oil myself and BBB (only when in that oily state) and then tie it up in braids or buns, it keep the fly aways at bay and is like an oil treatment until the next wash (hair slowly soaks it up!)