PDA

View Full Version : Post Haircut Depression -- am I crazy?



turtlelover
June 12th, 2012, 11:36 AM
I cut my hair to chin length last week for a number of reasons -- probably mostly because I was emotionally overwhelmed by some things in my life, and just felt like I needed a break from dealing w/ my appearance, and thought short hair would be more practical for awhile. Anyway, I am now SERIOUSLY regretting that I did the huge chop, and I can't seem to think about or concentrate on anything else other than regretting my decision. I just feel this cloud of impending doom hanging over me or something....it is so odd and illogical how bad I am feeling, because I know that in the end, it is just hair, and for short hair, I don't think mine looks all that bad now. I am barely functioning in my daily life, so I have to get a grip on this quickly. I'm not sure why I am reacting this badly to a haircut -- I've cut my hair before and never felt this awful. Is there anyone else who has felt like this over a major haircut, and is there anything I can do about it? I literally feel like my dog died or something -- I am THAT depressed!

jeanniet
June 12th, 2012, 11:41 AM
I'm sorry you're feeling so badly over your cut. FWIW, I think it looks very cute on you! But what's done is done, and it will grow back--I know that doesn't help much now, but give yourself a little gentle time and you'll feel better about it. It may also be that you're channeling the feelings you have about the upsets in your life into your hair, and how you feel now really isn't about your hair, but about that. :grouphug:

Hollyfire3
June 12th, 2012, 11:42 AM
I'm so sorry you feel this way, i completly understand, when my hair was acting up for a year because of heat damage and inbalance, I was so depressed, I could hardly function, luckily, i fixed my hair mostly, but a chop will take longer to fix. Maybe get some clip in extentions? Maybe learn some new styles? dye your hair a crazy color? Do something to distract you from the chop, it WILL get better though, hang in there and hugs to you!

XcaliburGirl
June 12th, 2012, 11:47 AM
I cut my hair to chin length last week for a number of reasons -- probably mostly because I was emotionally overwhelmed by some things in my life, and just felt like I needed a break from dealing w/ my appearance, and thought short hair would be more practical for awhile. Anyway, I am now SERIOUSLY regretting that I did the huge chop, and I can't seem to think about or concentrate on anything else other than regretting my decision. I just feel this cloud of impending doom hanging over me or something....it is so odd and illogical how bad I am feeling, because I know that in the end, it is just hair, and for short hair, I don't think mine looks all that bad now. I am barely functioning in my daily life, so I have to get a grip on this quickly. I'm not sure why I am reacting this badly to a haircut -- I've cut my hair before and never felt this awful. Is there anyone else who has felt like this over a major haircut, and is there anything I can do about it? I literally feel like my dog died or something -- I am THAT depressed!
Sorry you are having a rough time. My best advice would be out of sight out of mind. Get a headband and pull it back. Take a break from LHC for a week or so.

Like jeanniet said, maybe since you have been feeling emotionally overwhelmed about other things lately, that feeling is spilling over into worrying about your hair.

seven77
June 12th, 2012, 12:09 PM
I completely relate!
I had hair finally hitting my waist, I was SO happy. But it was badly damaged, grown out perm, sick of the shedding.. I don't know I just felt I needed a change.
I found a cute short cut I wanted, but the hairstylist messed up, in the end I had a pixie less than 2 inch long hairs all around.
I cried for days, seriously lol.
This was in March.. it's June now and I am finally feeling OK about my hair, it has grown enough that I can "play" with it. I still have long hair dreams though that torture me, just had one last night, woke up to the reality that my long hair is gone.
What helped me was to just NOT think about it!
Keep distracted, focus on other things, maybe exercise or work, an interest, whatever you have going on in life.
When you do think about your hair, think about it in the sense of growing it out healthy, baby your hair, nourish it, and feel good that you are growing out super healthy gorgeous hair!

Focus on the positives! Good luck :)

longhairedlady
June 12th, 2012, 12:14 PM
Ive been there years ago. Pamper yourself anyway you can and try an find styles that make you feel good. I understand how you feel though! :flower:

onlyforhim
June 12th, 2012, 12:16 PM
awww... it looks very nice on you really. Honestly I love it. I was going to say I know how you feel exactly because I couldn't think of anything but my hair when I chopped it in the past but my face...is chubby and short doesn't suit it but your face has nice structure that even short hair looks great on it.So don't worry about it. In one year it will be back

*hugs*

GrowingGlory
June 12th, 2012, 12:17 PM
Put it up/pull it back and cover it or wear a cute hat until you can stand it. In the meantime, take out your to-do list and start working toward something that has meaning for you. Maybe knitting or cleaning or taking a class or reading a good book will help.

I once had finally grown my 1" buzz cut out to collarbone and just wanted a little trim. I left with layers(!) as short as 2" on the back of my head. I bought some growth-promoting products and eventually it did grow back.

Now my hair has reached its terminal length and that horrible haircut is a funny memory. Someday you'll look back on this and laugh.

jacqueline101
June 12th, 2012, 12:24 PM
No you're not silly for bring depressed and missing your old hair. I missed mine after my last trim that ended up being a cut. I can only offer this advice wear it up forget about it. It helps not to think about measuring growth. Pamper your hair.

Alexblue
June 12th, 2012, 12:26 PM
Gosh, sorry to hear. For what it's worth everyone, and I mean everyone, has gone in for a hair cut and walked out of the salon thinking "WHY DID I DO THIS?". This isn't helped by the fact that you had a less than skilled hair dresser and you're bound to be a little angry as well.

We've all been there....you'll start feeling better in a week or two and your hair will not remain short for too long. I had a pixie cut and within 6 months I was playing with cute, curly hairstyles. :blossom:

spidermom
June 12th, 2012, 12:47 PM
I've been there too, went from about BSL to a short haircut that was badly done - not surprising since it was near the end of the day for a stylist who was about 8 months pregnant.

Anyway, I was in complete despair because the only way to fix it was to go even shorter. Sigh........

I had to go through that grief, it seemed, but it did help to get busy on other projects and stay away from the mirror. It was pretty easy since my hair was wash, rake some gel or mousse through with my fingers, and go.

luluj
June 12th, 2012, 12:51 PM
OK, take a deep breath and exhale slowly, turtlelover. Your new cut looks absolutely adorable on you, and I just love the way it shows off your silvers. It is so thick and healthy looking, you have been blessed with beautiful hair! Now, all of that said, I can completely identify with how you are feeling. I cut my mid-back length hair to APL just a couple of weeks ago, and I really do love it, but, I really miss my longer hair. Common sense tells me that it will soon be back to BSL, where I plan to maintain it, yet it seems like a hundred years away. I have an idea, why don't we team up and be growing buddies, this way if we start to get the dreaded urge to cut, we can talk to each other and try to get through the rough patches. ;)

SerinaDaith
June 12th, 2012, 01:03 PM
I have had friends tell me that they can tell when I am super stressed because my hair takes a chop or gets colored or changes in some major way... I chopped my APL hair up to my chin a month ago to get rid of some of the damage my previous stress had done because I want healthy long locks, I did not cut all the color out because I would have been left with about two inches of hair if I had but I did get what was left of the bleach out. Sigh, I look at pictures of my hair when it was BSL and want to cry because I took it for granted and never could accept it as being "long" so I would color it, bleach it, blowfry it, straighten it, curl it and otherwise was just horrible to it...
That being said as hard as it is some days for me to look at my current short hair I know that in the years to come it will grow, and it will grow up to be beautiful because of what I have learned here, maybe we need to start a hair support thread, like: Wait, before you reach for those scissors, that bottle or that heating implement, what are you really doing this for? Is it worth it? Will it really improve your overall sense of contentment???

Firefly
June 12th, 2012, 01:08 PM
I have been there. Just keep remembering: it WILL grow back. And in the meantime, that style does look really cute on you! :)

turtlelover
June 12th, 2012, 01:10 PM
The talking each other out of cutting sounds good luluj! It is a love/hate thing at this point with my hair. I LOVE the ease of my new hair, and think it is cute, but I still want to cry non-stop, even when I do think it looks cute. I don't make sense, even to myself, much less to my husband, who is not a "hair person" and is completely baffled by my haircut meltdown!

DaniVerde
June 12th, 2012, 01:12 PM
Turtlelover, your hair looks lovely! I know it's poor comfort, but it will grow back. And no, you're not silly for missing your hair! :grouphug:

curlymarcia
June 12th, 2012, 01:13 PM
I have the feeling that when we find our personal style is really hard to enjoy a haircut that does not reflect you. Cheers up! The haircut is not as bad as you feel, I do like it. But if having long hair makes you happy, let it grow again.

Changling
June 12th, 2012, 01:40 PM
My dad got diagnosed with brain cancer a few weeks ago, and had to have a tumor surgically removed, and now has to take medicine that makes him forgetful (he kept my sister and mom up all night...asking what time it was. "Midnight, dad! Go to sleep!").

That stress has crept into every aspect of my life. I now dislike people who I disliked before EVEN MORE. I don't feel like doing things I normally enjoy. My hair just frustrates me (I'm growing out from a shaved head, about jaw length now...it's just difficult sometimes). Just a few weeks ago, I was really happy about my hair. I think that it's just so much easier to hate my boss and be ticked off about my hair, than to be upset that my dad has cancer. So maybe you don't really dislike your haircut THAT much...and it's the stress from the Other Thing that's depressing you.

For any kind of depression, I recommend Maintaining A Sense Of Normalcy. I have been depressed for most of my life, and I have learned that this is very important. Do not cut your hair any more. Instead, find some hairstyles that work for you at this length and use those to implement the Benign Neglect method. Then your hair will grow long again. In the meantime, continue to do those things you normally do, even though you are depressed. Keep going to work (or whatever it is that you do), eating the way you always eat (even if it means you have to cook and you don't feel like it, still do it), and pursuing your hobbies. It is difficult, but depression can spiral madly out of control if you don't do this. At the end of each day, even if you are still feeling depressed, you can think "Well, at least I'm still fulfilling my responsibilities, even though I am depressed." And feel good about yourself for that.

HintOfMint
June 12th, 2012, 03:21 PM
In light of the emotional upheaval you have had in your life that drove you to get the haircut in the first place, the depression is completely understandable. Part of the depression may be displaced feelings from the original emotional turmoil in your life. Appearance is the easiest thing to fixate on when things aren't going well, so it could just be a way of coping.

All I can say is, your hair will grow back, it looks quite nice now, and as the previous poster mentioned, keeping up with your daily activities and responsibilities is a great way to cope. Keeping the momentum in your life with emotional upset or depression is difficult and can be its own battle, but it will make you stronger in the end.

Keep your chin up, this too will pass.

kidari
June 12th, 2012, 04:05 PM
I've done that before too. The haircut was mostly due to horrible things going on in my life that I had no control over. It could be other things that are stressing you out and you're channeling all your frustration on the cut. Personally I think it looks very nice on you. If it is possible, try to put it up so you don't think about it. When it's up, there is an illusion that your hair is actually longer. You can clip half of it up and then do a french twist for the bottom portion, maybe? As you deal with all the things going on in your life, by the time you get passed everything your hair will be long again.

long&blonde
June 12th, 2012, 05:41 PM
You are not crazy.
I've felt down ever since my last trim. I'd gone years without trimming, my hair was lower BCL, now trimmed to waist. I could care less about my nice healthy even ends. I soo miss my length! I miss it hanging down like spanish moss over my waist tattoo. I know;hair grows. I am so looking forward. I try to tell myself "think how nice hese healthy new ends will look longer!" But honestly, I know I won't care. With me:its the longer, the better. No more scissors! I liked the suggestion about dying your hair a wild color. It could well be what you need to like your hair again. Maybe your favorite color!

Mesmerise
June 12th, 2012, 08:16 PM
Oh gosh, I have had that the majority of times I've thought it a "good idea" to cut off my hair :rolleyes:. I still feel some regret that I got so choppy last year in a quest to rid myself of "thin ends" all up I think I must have cut off 9" (not all at once... I'd do it 2" one month then 3" the next, then wait a bit and decide to do more...). I am just glad I didn't decide to cut it ALL OFF because I always... without fail... regret it.

turtlelover
June 13th, 2012, 09:55 AM
I still miss my hair, but I feel much less awful than I did a few days ago. That is a start, right? The worst thing about it right now is that because my hair is thick, it gets a bit wide. In some respects, I would look better if I cut it a bit shorter - a little longer than pixie so it was closer to the face, though I don't want to entertain those thoughts at the moment! HAHA

XcaliburGirl
June 13th, 2012, 10:10 AM
I still miss my hair, but I feel much less awful than I did a few days ago. That is a start, right? The worst thing about it right now is that because my hair is thick, it gets a bit wide. In some respects, I would look better if I cut it a bit shorter - a little longer than pixie so it was closer to the face, though I don't want to entertain those thoughts at the moment! HAHA
I'm glad you are feeling a bit better.

My hair does that. It looks too wide until closer to APL. Now that I can pull it back in a ponytail, it's not an issue. Just hang in there and you will get past the "wide hair" stage. Unfortunately, cutting it just makes it last longer.

bunzfan
June 13th, 2012, 11:28 AM
I think its a normal reaction actually, when i cut from nearly waist last year to above BSL to get rid of a lot of layers i was really depressed about the length i lost even though my hair was in much better condition and felt thicker for a good few months.

Also when i went nearly a year between trim this year when i cut a inch off i felt dreadful for days. For the record your hair cut really does suit you , if it were me i would try clips/hair bands anything to make you love your hair again.

KoaMahatu
June 13th, 2012, 01:28 PM
I'm sorry you feel so bad- ive felt the same before as well. Just know that one cool thing about having short hair is that you can actually notice when it's growing and it seems so much faster!

dakota77
June 13th, 2012, 01:32 PM
This is exactly what I did and went from waist to APL... :( I was very discourage about my ends and hemline. Wish I would have taken a "hair break" and just put it up for a few months and ignored it. Sorry OP you are so down.

Slug Yoga
June 13th, 2012, 02:04 PM
I can certainly understand your being upset about the hair cut, and you totally have my sympathy. :grouphug: It sounds like you did it to begin with because you were having a hard time emotionally, so even in the best case scenario it wouldn't have made everything great, you know? A hairdresser told me that women often get a haircut when they want a big change in their life. Sort of a symbolic starting over. For instance, if a woman comes in with quite long hair and asks for a short cut, he would sometimes try to gently inquire whether something major had just happened in their life--e.g. a relationship breakup--and say that they might want to give the haircut decision more time, so that they are just cutting their hair because they want shorter hair. I think it's common for us to try to alter our physical appearance in some way, as a way of making ourselves feel better about external circumstances.

I'm obsessive compulsive, it's an anxiety disorder I've dealt with since childhood, and I know that my brain has a way of latching on to something comparatively minor as the "reason" that I feel crappy or anxious. But really it's the other way around--because of my messed up brain chemistry, I would feel extremely anxious for no reason I could understand (or would feel more anxious than circumstances might seem to warrant, at least), and my brain would start hunting around for the "cause," and I'd eventually focus on something and convince myself that that was why I felt so miserable. Even if there is legitimate reason to feel sad and worried, the brain can still fixate on it excessively. And the more you preoccupy yourself with it the more it feels like a big deal that is, in fact, the reason for your unhappiness.

But really, it's just a weird brain thing. It's not my "fault." But it can really wreak havoc, and it's something I have to be aware of so I realize when my thought-patterns are unreasonable, and try to refocus. The more you hold on to something the more of a hold it has on you. I wonder if your mind is going through something like that? Focusing more than you would otherwise, perhaps (at least in part) because you already felt badly, and the fact that you're focusing on it makes you more upset, and so on?

(I hope this doesn't come off wrong...I'm not trying to downplay your feelings--we're all attached to our hair here, so we can understand, I think! And I also wouldn't presume to know anything about your life, thoughts, emotions, etc. But what you said about feeling like a cloud of doom was hanging over you, and knowing that your feelings were irrational and being unable to shake them anyway--that really, really rung a bell for me, because that's totally what it's like. Anyway, if you want to talk more about it I'd be happy to, either here or in PM)

Diamond.Eyes
June 13th, 2012, 02:40 PM
Short hair can be just as attractive as long hair; it makes some women appear fun and youthful. Just remember, it WILL grow back.

Puertoricangirl
July 4th, 2012, 05:13 PM
I'm sorry you feel that way :( I felt like that when my hair was just under shoulder length like 2 months ago. My hair is at about BSL right now when curly and about 2-3 inches from waist when soaking wet. I was really sad like a week or 2 after I cut it. My hair used to be like 3-4 inches longer than my waist and I loved it but I had fairytale ends. I miss my hair length sooo much but know it will grow back eventually. For now just try to forget about it and enjoy your life. Take really good care of it, stay away from heat, eat healthy, drink a lot of water, oil the length regularly, take multivitamins, and exercise. It will be long and flowing before you know it! ;) Stay strong :heartbeat

Raging Wolf
July 5th, 2012, 09:05 AM
My sister and I always joke around about the difference between a bad hair cut and good one? One way or the other it takes about 6 to 8 weeks to grow back. I did a similar thing to my hair back in 2004, I had waist length hair and one day I decided to cut it, to my top of my shoulders with layers.

After a day or two later, I just broke down and cried for a week. Believe me, I thought the world was coming to an end and was I bummed for sometime afterwards. I was just so mad at myself for cutting my hair for no real reason, other than I thought it was just another chore that I didn't need on my plate at the moment in time. So, don't worry turtlelover, the feeling does pass and your hair will grow back to its crowning glory once again.

MrsGuther
July 5th, 2012, 10:17 AM
I cut my hair to chin length last week for a number of reasons -- probably mostly because I was emotionally overwhelmed by some things in my life, and just felt like I needed a break from dealing w/ my appearance, and thought short hair would be more practical for awhile. Anyway, I am now SERIOUSLY regretting that I did the huge chop, and I can't seem to think about or concentrate on anything else other than regretting my decision. I just feel this cloud of impending doom hanging over me or something....it is so odd and illogical how bad I am feeling, because I know that in the end, it is just hair, and for short hair, I don't think mine looks all that bad now. I am barely functioning in my daily life, so I have to get a grip on this quickly. I'm not sure why I am reacting this badly to a haircut -- I've cut my hair before and never felt this awful. Is there anyone else who has felt like this over a major haircut, and is there anything I can do about it? I literally feel like my dog died or something -- I am THAT depressed!

So sorry that you are feeling depressed after your big chop. :( I don't have any good advice, just sending well wishes and hugs! :grouphug: