Stop Cutting It Off!

[RitaCeleste]

Okay, I've been reading the forums and people keep talking about cutting their hair off. Its damaged, its been colored, its this, its that, I'm starting over......:p Stop that! Its counter productive. Stop whacking it all off. Stop chasing Virgin hair from the roots, in two years, you go dye it and here we go again! I love you guys. You want to stop coloring, dye the length to match the roots and stop coloring it. Just keep trimming the ends and in several years, it will all be gone and you'll have hair down to your butt too! Come on, stop chopping. Step away from the scissors! Really, I'll hunt you down! I post wanted pics at salons so they won't cut your anymore. Don't make me get evil!:D

[DarkCurls]

^^ To each his own! Personally I'm with you on this one. But then I feel even trimming is counter-productive and despise hairdressers. :p I've seen people do the BC and get amazing results months/years later... I wouldn't be brave enough to, but hey... :D It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round.

[RitaCeleste]

I know! I grew out Virgin hair to my waist once. I found out I don't like my Virgin Hair. Its not hair commercial quality. In fact, it stinks. I always feel sad for people chasing the Holy Grail and wonder if they are gonna be happy when they have it. There is this pressure to try to go all natural. There is a myth that it will solve all problems and you'll grow hair to your ankles. Its not 100% though and nobody ever points that out while you are traveling down that road. I trim my ends some if they look shaggy. I added bangs today. That's it for my cutting. My split-ends must have all broken off without any assistance because I have fewer and fewer of them? I'm at waist again finally and probably gonna put one last coat of red hair dye on it before I switch to henna. I can not cut it, sure no problem. I can not, not make it RED!

[LaFlor]

I couldn't imagine still having that perm hanging around on the bottom of my hair shudder:
Having hair that you hate is conterproductive! I've never felt better than the day I got rid of that mess for good!

[Beatnik Guy]

I concur. :)

[PrairieRose]

A lot of my hair is very damaged, splits, splits, splits! I have decided I will be trimming for awhile. Plus my hair is fine and when it's damaged it does not even lay right.
But that's just me, each person's hair journey is different.

[RitaCeleste]

That's true sometimes. I've cut out bad perms. I cut it after I turned it into elastic to make myself have blond hair to my waist. It hurt like hell every time, though it had to be done sometimes. I did learn not to get perms and not to go blond. I can't seem to swear off the red though.

[Bene]

The problem is that sometimes the damage can feel gross. So people are supposed to keep damage they don't like the feel of, even though they're going to trim it off anyway? I'd go crazy if I had to walk around with 8 inches worth of damage, for the sake of length. I've seen some heads of hair I'd like to take scissors to. It's up to the individual, and if that's what they want, cool. But I don't see any reason to berate people because they want a fresh start.

[elbow chic]

ha, totally agree. Really that was the main problem I had with growing mine-- I kept cutting it off! lol and not even for damage, really, just out of ignorance and habit. Who knew cutting three inches a few times a year added up to "hair that doesn't grow?" ;)

[RitaCeleste]

This is the first time my hair has gotten to my waist and I'm actually happy with it. The same people who say I'm berating people for cutting are usually the same type of people who are first to berate people for not cutting or growing all natural hair, now aren't they? If it is truly to each his own and it is, why is my comment any different than one that says, "Cut out all that damage and grow natural!" I was told that. I did that. Didn't make my millennium and I just felt like passing it on!

[swearnsue]

Okay, I've been reading the forums and people keep talking about cutting their hair off. Its damaged, its been colored, its this, its that, I'm starting over......:p Stop that! Its counter productive. Stop whacking it all off. Stop chasing Virgin hair from the roots, in two years, you go dye it and here we go again! I love you guys. You want to stop coloring, dye the length to match the roots and stop coloring it. Just keep trimming the ends and in several years, it will all be gone and you'll have hair down to your butt too! Come on, stop chopping. Step away from the scissors! Really, I'll hunt you down! I post wanted pics at salons so they won't cut your anymore. Don't make me get evil!:D

LOL! Don't make us set up an intervention.. Just say NO to scissors!

[Astraea]

I had to! Trust me I tried everything else, lol! But it was practically see-thru :))) I don't trim or dust and don't see any reason to unless there's damage but to each their own. My botchy cutting will result in 1 more trim on the left side to remove scraggles and that's it for the year unless I set it on fire - again...

[spidermom]

There are a few people who have been around LHC as long as I have who haven't gotten past APL because they grow out natural, they don't like that, they color, they don't like that, they bleach, the damage is horrible, they cut the damage out and decide to grow out natural, and the whole cycle plays out again. 6 years of it.

[ravenheather]

I don't think it's a problem if people want to trim their hair. But then there's no need for a thread entitled why won't my hair grow?

[Amber_Maiden]

Agree as well, but everyone does their own thing. I would do the small trims method myself.

[RitaCeleste]

I understand not all hair can be saved, but a lot can be done with the right kind of care. Not every single one of these people is beyond help for damaged hair. They shouldn't feel pressured into chopping and growing all natural. And if their natural hair doesn't look like a hair commercial or has some frizz, people shouldn't just assume they are wearing a burned out perm and that their hair is in awful condition. Hair comes in a wide range of textures and more than one texture and more than one method of care for that texture should be acceptable.

[spidermom]

I'm guilty of wanting to get to hair that doesn't split. I keep cutting back, thinking I'll be able to conquer the split ends problem, but it's never better. I can't decide if I want to learn live with lots of splits and grow or just maintain a shorter length.

[Vampyria]

I'm guilty. ;) I just have to cut the thinned ends from dyeing and shedding and then I will stop, I promise.:p:D

[RitaCeleste]

I have some splits but it seems to show more at different times. I really do think my split ends just break off on their own because I did nothing to them for one year and I have less now than I did then. I can't for the life of me figure out why that happened. I started using oil more, I co-washed, nothing extra special. I used less protein treatments for a good while. I don't exactly know where the splits went, they had to break off or something.

[spookyghost]

Well I would make you proud! I have damaged hair and I can not cut it-I just cant. Im hoping that moisturizing, no flat iron, micro-trims will help. I just used the blow dryer, on warm, for the first time in six months today and it felt good. Real good. My hair still looks damaged, because it is, but it looked so much better than all the dang air drying I have been doing! I have been pretty bummed about my hair lately-and I still will not cut it! But that is just me.

[tweetylonghair]

Well I would make you proud! I have damaged hair and I can not cut it-I just cant. Im hoping that moisturizing, no flat iron, micro-trims will help. I just used the blow dryer, on warm, for the first time in six months today and it felt good. Real good. My hair still looks damaged, because it is, but it looked so much better than all the dang air drying I have been doing! I have been pretty bummed about my hair lately-and I still will not cut it! But that is just me.


I agree with this..I myself can't cut it either.. I may not like how it feels and I may say i want shoulder length..BUT I love my hair where it is and want it to grow longer therefore its micro trims from my awesome hair lady and do my best to take care of it.

[jacqueline101]

I think trims and removing severe damage is necessary. I don't see the point in cutting just to be cutting or like me. My experience is I got a hair cut that's not what I wanted. I hated it layers are at shoulder length if I cut I will lose what I've gained. I think in light of my experience I need to grow it out rather then cut and allow my layers to grow to a desired length maybe not my ultimate goal.

[HintOfMint]

I'm usually the one to advise someone to cut off the damage simply because that's what I have done, and I was happy with it. My hair is down to almost tailbone now and pretty darn healthy.

I didn't want to deal with damaged ends breaking off and leaving a frayed ends to then break off and leave another set of frayed ends. It's not bad advice if the damage is that bad.

Also, if someone wants to cut out the heatstyling and the other damaging processes but doesn't want to put their hair up and their hair is a mess without heatstyling to mask it? In that case it's a bit silly (to me, in my opinion) to walk around with visibly, overtly damaged hair.

That being said, I only give this advice when someone starts a thread and asks for it. They can do with my advice what they like--take it or leave it.

[elbow chic]

plus, if you are growing to terminal (obviously many/most people here aren't, necessarily) you'll lose all that hair gradually anyway. Whether it's layers or dye or even an old perm, it'll all eventually shed out and be replaced by new hair. Basically that's what I decided to do about the last of my layers.

Worked, too, you can't now tell I ever had layers, even though there were so obvious at APL and BSL.

[GoblinTart]

I get you. I've been microtrimming my hair for months trying to get rid of my scragliness. Yeah...all I was doing was making it scragglier since I kept trimming in the same layers over and over. When I would straighten my hair, it looked like beautiful fairytail ends. But I have curly hair, and I'm to lazy to straighten my hair. Then I found Feyes hair cutting method. And promptly chopped my hair from BSL to APL. I'm happy that all my layers are gone. I really am. But I'm sad that I lost so much length. But my hair feels 500 times better. And I have a beautifully thick hemline now. Am I going to do anymore chops like that? No. But once I reach my mini goals, I will maintain my hair at that length for awhile to chicken my hemline over time. Then grow to my next mini goal.

But yes, constantly cutting dying, damaging, we need to stop. I've thrown away my heat appliances. And i don't miss them. I've learned how to style my hair to get the most out of my curls. Now that I'm not damaging my hair anymore, I think I'll have a much more enjoyable gair journey.

[RitaCeleste]

Do whatever you need to. I just wanted to make the point that no one should get so caught up in chasing the Holy Grail of virgin hair that they fail to ever the length they want. I've seen beautiful long bleach blond hair on here. I've seen great henna on here. I've seen all colors of hair on here. I myself found my virgin hair lacking when I grew it that way. I grew it but I didn't love, love, love it and it wasn't all that. I feel many people are where I was for years. They don't love, love, love their virgin hair sooo much they never damage it and they end up cutting it over and over again. It is a cycle that begins with the myth that natural hair is the greatest and best thing ever for everyone. The truth is, maybe you want to color some and just grow to waist or tailbone? Maybe you are gonna pick coloring over great lengths. I'm just saying its okay do a little damage and learn to live with it.

[Tisiloves]

I'm another one in the baby it, trim it only if really necessary camp, I can't lose the length, I'd never be able to put it up.

[Carissamarie08]

Yeah I don't trim, chop, or anything. I'm just letting it grow to waist and once I'm there then I'll give it a good trim to get rid of the splits.

[UltraBella]

What I hate is when I see someone panic and chop their hair off. They colored, bleached, etc and now their hair feels all weird and they just freak out and cut it off. Never ends well and if they just would have calmed down and given their hair some time - it would have been okay probably.

Personally, I cut my hair because I enjoy it shorter, and that's a great reason to chop :)

[jel]

I'm so with you! :D (Check out the No-Trimming Club in my siggy.)

When I decided to grow my hair, I let it grow until I reached my goal. When I decided to stop hennaing, I stopped hennaing and let my virgin hair grow. I tried a henna removal technique (Colour B4), but I still have a demarcation line - and so what? I am enjoying my hair for me, even though it may not be picture perfect.

I am aware, however, that not everyone agrees with me. Fair enough! I used to point out on threads that if you want long hair, you have to have the patience to grow it... but after a while I've given up. People will do what they want to do, and that's for the best!

ETA: Oh, and "damaged ends" are usually fine after some clarifying and moisture! No need to panic and chop them off! ;)

[ladylowtide]

I don't get split ends, so I don't feel the need to cut my hair ever. I do however have bleach damage on the very ends. Instead of chopping or even trimming I have opted to wait until I have gotten to TBL and cut a blunt hem in removing all of the bleach... maybe :D I don't know if I will be able to bring myself to cut my bright red ends off. Maybe i will, maybe I will wait until my hair gets much longer to chop them off. who knows?

All I know is scissors won't be touching my hair for another couple of years.

[Cheveux en péta]

Yeah....I have to chop my hair, actually shave it down to the scalp. You see, my hair is seriously heat damaged and is coming out because it's brittle and weak in most areas. So doesn't this mean I will have a bald spot eventually? It's thinning out in said areas so what's the point of hoding onto damaged hair if it just keeps coming out anyway? I'm reading and posting as much as I can so I can put some pics up soon. Maybe I'm missing something here...really...do tell.

[CurlyCap]

Sorta.

I think people need to cut less if they want their hair to grow. The very bottom of your length will always be the most damaged, and some growers just don't get that.

However, I personally hate straggled, highly damaged ends that are kept in the name of length. I'd rather reach my goal more slowly, but with healthy hair I adore at every step.

Ie, in the 1.5 years since my big chop, I've only gotten one real trim (I had to reshape my pixie at one point because it was a mess with curly hair). Grew 16", cut 2"...gain 14". Shouldn't be that hard a game for people to play.

However, I will say that I've never been tempted to color because my hair falls out under that strength of chemical. So maybe I'm just not under the temptation/pressure they are....

[Cheveux en péta]

Sorta.

I think people need to cut less if they want their hair to grow. The very bottom of your length will always be the most damaged, and some growers just don't get that.

However, I personally hate straggled, highly damaged ends that are kept in the name of length. I'd rather reach my goal more slowly, but with healthy hair I adore at every step.

Ie, in the 1.5 years since my big chop, I've only gotten one real trim (I had to reshape my pixie at one point because it was a mess with curly hair). Grew 16", cut 2"...gain 14". Shouldn't be that hard a game for people to play.

However, I will say that I've never been tempted to color because my hair falls out under that strength of chemical. So maybe I'm just not under the temptation/pressure they are....

Oh no! My damage is at the root, not at the ends. My ends are just fine. That's why I'm chopping it off.

[Tisiloves]

Oh no! My damage is at the root, not at the ends. My ends are just fine. That's why I'm chopping it off.

Out of interest, just how did you manage to damage the root, but not the ends?

[RitaCeleste]

I just don't like my hair all natural. I tried all the way down to my waist. I got to the goal of waist and cut it because I hated the finger combing, the leave in, the pointy end, the texture, the color. I always wonder if people are in this cycle of cutting because they don't love love love the all natural hair they keep trying to grow. Maybe that's why they end up murdering it? Maybe it didn't feel so great they never wanted to put another chemical on it? Is it okay to say, all natural hair isn't all that for everyone on the planet and its okay to have chemically treated hair on your head? Whoa I see your point, its too radical! :p

[Cheveux en péta]

Out of interest, just how did you manage to damage the root, but not the ends?

The crown of my head, ALL of it is damaged down to the scalp because of high heat use at the salon. This happened in 4 months time. I have 3c curls but decided to stop straightening my hair with perms last September. Well, the only thing is, i would have done better getting the perms because the heat just killed it...quickly. So there was no long time span, it wasn't a gradual thing, it happened quickly. My hair holds serious heat, my beautician has burnt herself pretty bad doing my hair just by touching it after using high heat on it. Now my hair, mainly at the crown, is totally damaged. It looks like that tumbling weed you see in the desert...seriously. The rest of my hair is fine with only a little breakage here and there. The ends in all other areas are fine.

[Micayla47]

i'm in total agreement with the OP. i've never gotten past BSL because of that line of thinking: "I'll cut it off and it will look/feel/grow better." never been true for me. patience is harder but it's what works, IMO.

[RitaCeleste]

The crown of my head, ALL of it is damaged down to the scalp because of high heat use at the salon. This happened in 4 months time.
That's a pretty bad way for hair to go. Someone had their roots bleached and it went wrong and they were in a mess at the root too. It can happen. Usually its not like that though. But it is an interesting point that the chemicals were not as bad as the heat itself. We live and learn but that lesson sucks big time. I didn't mean to make people in a real pickle feel bad about their loss. Sometimes hair can be saved and should be allowed to live. Not always but sometimes.

[QMacrocarpa]

[...] And if their natural hair doesn't look like a hair commercial or has some frizz, people shouldn't just assume they are wearing a burned out perm and that their hair is in awful condition. Hair comes in a wide range of textures and more than one texture and more than one method of care for that texture should be acceptable.
I like what you say here! :) I have some curl, but I'm very rarely interested in wearing it as curls, so I tangle-teez it and put it up. Is it frizzy? You betcha! Am in a frizz-induced funk about my hair? Nope!

On the main topic, my split-prone hair has to be trimmed occasionally or it will eventually start breaking off as fast as it grows, but a tiny trim (like 1/4 inch or less) helps tremendously, even when the "velcro ends" quality seems to extend much further, so I cringe when I see advice along the lines of "Don't bother with a small trim, that won't help, you need to lop off some inches!" My feeling is: start small! It's easy to trim more, but impossible to trim less once the chop is done!

[GlennaGirl]

Okay, I've been reading the forums and people keep talking about cutting their hair off. Its damaged, its been colored, its this, its that, I'm starting over......:p Stop that! Its counter productive. Stop whacking it all off. Stop chasing Virgin hair from the roots, in two years, you go dye it and here we go again! I love you guys. You want to stop coloring, dye the length to match the roots and stop coloring it. Just keep trimming the ends and in several years, it will all be gone and you'll have hair down to your butt too! Come on, stop chopping. Step away from the scissors! Really, I'll hunt you down! I post wanted pics at salons so they won't cut your anymore. Don't make me get evil!:D

OMG. This made me giggle. :p ^^ You have a point there, RitaCeleste.

[Cheveux en péta]

That's a pretty bad way for hair to go. Someone had their roots bleached and it went wrong and they were in a mess at the root too. It can happen. Usually its not like that though. But it is an interesting point that the chemicals were not as bad as the heat itself. We live and learn but that lesson sucks big time. I didn't mean to make people in a real pickle feel bad about their loss. Sometimes hair can be saved and should be allowed to live. Not always but sometimes.

I have another question. My hair still grows but at the crown it grows in damaged just like the rest of my hair at the crown. I though it had something to do with my hypothyroidism and anemia but I had to think back. My hair wasn't damaged until the high heat incident. So I'm trying to figure out if it's growing in damaged because it's split down to the root.

[RitaCeleste]

I once trimmed like 3 inches because this girl said my ends looked fried. I trim 1/2 inch to an inch now if it gets to looking shaggy around the bottom. My splits must break off, they've went somewhere, there aren't as many. I have so much new growth as I shed, grow to the point I think my hair is attempting to layer itself! It doesn't break off to the point I don't grow longer hair though.

[RitaCeleste]

I have another question. My hair still grows but at the crown it grows in damaged just like the rest of my hair at the crown. I though it had something to do with my hypothyroidism and anemia but I had to think back. My hair wasn't damaged until the high heat incident. So I'm trying to figure out if it's growing in damaged because it's split down to the root.

I've never heard of hair growing in damaged from the root. I'd probably put something into scalp care or vitamins or something for your roots too. I have heard of people whose heads have been shaved close growing different texture hair when it grows back. (My mom had brain surgery and this happened to her)>

[Tisiloves]

I have another question. My hair still grows but at the crown it grows in damaged just like the rest of my hair at the crown. I though it had something to do with my hypothyroidism and anemia but I had to think back. My hair wasn't damaged until the high heat incident. So I'm trying to figure out if it's growing in damaged because it's split down to the root.

If the heat used was that intense it might be that it's damaged the actual folicles in you scalp, that might take a while to recover.

[Mesmerise]

Okay, I've been reading the forums and people keep talking about cutting their hair off. Its damaged, its been colored, its this, its that, I'm starting over......:p Stop that! Its counter productive. Stop whacking it all off. Stop chasing Virgin hair from the roots, in two years, you go dye it and here we go again! I love you guys. You want to stop coloring, dye the length to match the roots and stop coloring it. Just keep trimming the ends and in several years, it will all be gone and you'll have hair down to your butt too! Come on, stop chopping. Step away from the scissors! Really, I'll hunt you down! I post wanted pics at salons so they won't cut your anymore. Don't make me get evil!:D


Hahaha I want to "LIKE" this post ;).

It's true though. There are times when you just wanna chop off those damaged ends and start fresh... BUT you'll have long hair faster if you don't give into it and then it'll still take the SAME AMOUNT of time to have fully virgin hair at goal length whether you chop or not!

[Cheveux en péta]

If the heat used was that intense it might be that it's damaged the actual folicles in you scalp, that might take a while to recover.

Oh crap. It did burn my scalp a few times not only when she used the blow dryer but when she used the electric hot comb. So I guess if I use some oils on the scalp and eat better maybe it will start to grow in healthy.

[Cheveux en péta]

I've never heard of hair growing in damaged from the root. I'd probably put something into scalp care or vitamins or something for your roots too. I have heard of people whose heads have been shaved close growing different texture hair when it grows back. (My mom had brain surgery and this happened to her)>

I'll look into massaging and oils to use. I'm still trying to decide if I should chop or not.

[akilina]

Ahhh so true!! Last year when I chopped to collar bone and I was almost to BSL, I should have trimmed maybe 2 inches. Or a half inch every month- 2 months instead of 6 to 7 inches!!
I can't go back...so I guess it was a fun change and a "new start" (hate that term) in a way. But I just should NOT have done it!!! I would have been MUCH closer to my dreams of waist length hair.

[longhairedlady]

I agree with this mostly, but in my case years ago, it was a perm I was battling and I got so sick of the texture difference! So yea I chopped! :p

[Raponsje]

Haha, I was just thinking yesterday about trimming back. I have. Ever grown past tb, where I am now and I want to reach classic. Between waist and tailbone it gets a little thin after two pregnancies in the last 5 years. It does take some resolve to do micro trims and let it grow to classic.

[BlazingHeart]

I'm sure this isn't intended this way, but this post kinda stung. I've been trying to figure out whether I can continue to manage long hair with my various disabilities. I don't WANT to cut my hair, but it is at the edge of becoming one of two problems: either looking unkempt all the time because I have so much trouble with it, or having trouble with it interacting badly with my disabilities (which include headache/neck issues and extreme heat sensitivity, so neither up nor down is ideal health-wise).

That is to say, this post has some ableist overtones that are painful to me, as a person with disabilities that interfere with my long hair. Yes, it's written in a comic manner, but so are a lot of things that unintentionally hurt people.

~Blaze

[juliaxena]

If your father, who never notices any change on you says: wow, your hair is so much healthier and prettier now and you have such a beautiful misterious natural color, you know you did the right thing to start growing out natural and cutting the ugly icky eww split ends off. :D This post just made me dream about a 3 inch trim that I'd need to get lots of those off again. The fact is, if you really figure out natural is best for you and stick to it, you can chop the damage off and grow long and beautiful. Why should anyone have a problem with that? When I was at neck, getting rid of layers made me feel awesome for months and months to come. I just might do my trim in the following months :p

[lundmir]

I had beautiful, TBL hair last year, that I bleached way too much. I dyed it black, to grow natural, and found it dull and boring on myself. Give me bright or deep red!
Anyway, I wanted to dye it again, but if I bleached, it would die. I wasn't able to obtain Color Oops or a similar product, so I had to use bleach.

Then I went swimming in thermal waters and the black came out, but my hair remained a green-gray mess. I chopped it all off to a 1" pixie that night.

Worst mistake ever! I'm sure henna plus some deposit only red color would have been just fine, but no. I didn't think of that.

Now I'm growing it back, using henna and deposit only dyes when I need a change, and I'm nearly at APL almost a year later. I learned not to do such rash things, and enjoy temporary colors rather than permanent ones. And going natural is definitely not for me.

[Bene]

I'm sure this isn't intended this way, but this post kinda stung. I've been trying to figure out whether I can continue to manage long hair with my various disabilities. I don't WANT to cut my hair, but it is at the edge of becoming one of two problems: either looking unkempt all the time because I have so much trouble with it, or having trouble with it interacting badly with my disabilities (which include headache/neck issues and extreme heat sensitivity, so neither up nor down is ideal health-wise).

That is to say, this post has some ableist overtones that are painful to me, as a person with disabilities that interfere with my long hair. Yes, it's written in a comic manner, but so are a lot of things that unintentionally hurt people.

~Blaze


This.





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And there's the assumption that once someone chops off a good chunk of hair that they're going to make the same mistakes over and over again. There are plenty of people here, including myself, who have done a massive chop in the past to get rid of a dye or damage. I've gone from APL to nape and my hair has been virgin since. Not once have I been tempted to dye again. And if I hadn't chopped it all off, I wouldn't be where I am now, because I'd be continuously dying and staying unhappy with it and cutting back in small increments. Sometimes, that big chop is necessary. That one drastic cut is worth the months needed to grow it out. I'd be stuck in that same old rut, with crappy hair, just for the sake of length? I'd probably be at like knee length if I'd never chopped, but then have 10+ inches of garbage.


I've also noticed that a lot of the time, it's easier (and cheaper) to take care of hair when it's not damaged. Why waste time and money working on crap ends when it's possible to get rid of it and learn how to take care of hair in its natural state? Especially if you plan to trim it off anyway? Again from personal experience, it's been wayyyyy easier to deal with my hair, especially when I'm not looking for that one miracle product that's supposed to bring it back to a normal condition when all it really does is mask the damage. My one bottle of oil now is way more effective than all the creams and serums and conditioners and gels that I messed around with before I chopped off the damage.


It's what gives long hairs a bad name. Every stupid article we see about hair that's "too long", it points out how bad it looks. And then all the morons come out of the woodwork to talk about how ugly long hair is, and it's probably because they're accustomed to seeing people who want to keep the length regardless of how unhealthy it is. If I didn't know that it was possible to have longer hair without the scraggly ends, I'd probably feel the same way.



And if someone DOES dye/bleach/relax again, even though they've taken off 3 feet of hair because of damage, so be it. They obviously haven't learned from their own mistakes the first few times, simply telling them not to cut isn't going to sink in. They need to have their own moment of looking at the big picture before they realize what needs to change. One big chop was enough for me. Some people need to go through it a few times before they figure out that their practices don't work for them.




Tl;dr version: A lofty "Stop cutting it off" is far too simplistic a solution for complicated problem.

[juliaxena]

And there's the assumption that once someone chops off a good chunk of hair that they're going to make the same mistakes over and over again. There are plenty of people here, including myself, who have done a massive chop in the past to get rid of a dye or damage. I've gone from APL to nape and my hair has been virgin since. Not once have I been tempted to dye again. And if I hadn't chopped it all off, I wouldn't be where I am now, because I'd be continuously dying and staying unhappy with it and cutting back in small increments. Sometimes, that big chop is necessary. That one drastic cut is worth the months needed to grow it out. I'd be stuck in that same old rut, with crappy hair, just for the sake of length? I'd probably be at like knee length if I'd never chopped, but then have 10+ inches of garbage.


I've also noticed that a lot of the time, it's easier (and cheaper) to take care of hair when it's not damaged. Why waste time and money working on crap ends when it's possible to get rid of it and learn how to take care of hair in its natural state? Especially if you plan to trim it off anyway? Again from personal experience, it's been wayyyyy easier to deal with my hair, especially when I'm not looking for that one miracle product that's supposed to bring it back to a normal condition when all it really does is mask the damage. My one bottle of oil now is way more effective than all the creams and serums and conditioners and gels that I messed around with before I chopped off the damage.


It's what gives long hairs a bad name. Every stupid article we see about hair that's "too long", it points out how bad it looks. And then all the morons come out of the woodwork to talk about how ugly long hair is, and it's probably because they're accustomed to seeing people who want to keep the length regardless of how unhealthy it is. If I didn't know that it was possible to have longer hair without the scraggly ends, I'd probably feel the same way.



And if someone DOES dye/bleach/relax again, even though they've taken off 3 feet of hair because of damage, so be it. They obviously haven't learned from their own mistakes the first few times, simply telling them not to cut isn't going to sink in. They need to have their own moment of looking at the big picture before they realize what needs to change. One big chop was enough for me. Some people need to go through it a few times before they figure out that their practices don't work for them.

Tl;dr version: A lofty "Stop cutting it off" is far too simplistic a solution for complicated problem.

Waiting for my mom to come home now. I will see if I can get her to do a trim for me today. This post is quite inspiring Bene!

[Phalaenopsis]

I've also noticed that a lot of the time, it's easier (and cheaper) to take care of hair when it's not damaged. Why waste time and money working on crap ends when it's possible to get rid of it and learn how to take care of hair in its natural state? Especially if you plan to trim it off anyway? Again from personal experience, it's been wayyyyy easier to deal with my hair, especially when I'm not looking for that one miracle product that's supposed to bring it back to a normal condition when all it really does is mask the damage. My one bottle of oil now is way more effective than all the creams and serums and conditioners and gels that I messed around with before I chopped off the damage.
This.

My hair is damaged and it's a real PITA now. I've been thinking about chopping the damage off, but for me, luckily, the damage can be kept under control so it still looks alright. Would it look quit unhealthy, scraggly, the decision would have been made quickly, I would have chopped it off.

Health over length, baby! :rockerdud



That is to say, this post has some ableist overtones that are painful to me, as a person with disabilities that interfere with my long hair. Yes, it's written in a comic manner, but so are a lot of things that unintentionally hurt people.

~Blaze
Exactly. I feel the same way.

[luxepiggy]

This thread made me giggle (^(oo)^)v

[SilverDoe]

For me, splits spread upwards, and detangling damaged hair creates even more splits & damage. Not to mention the extra time & effort to still have yucky hair that will tangle immediately.
If a trim is what will give healthier hair, length isn't everything. Many with fragile fine hair will need regular trims.
Not trimming will NOT give me the hair I want, and the damage will cause breakage that will prevent me from reaching my length goals.

[pink.sara]

I know! I grew out Virgin hair to my waist once. I found out I don't like my Virgin Hair. Its not hair commercial quality. In fact, it stinks. I always feel sad for people chasing the Holy Grail and wonder if they are gonna be happy when they have it. There is this pressure to try to go all natural. There is a myth that it will solve all problems and you'll grow hair to your ankles. Its not 100% though and nobody ever points that out while you are traveling down that road. I trim my ends some if they look shaggy. I added bangs today. That's it for my cutting. My split-ends must have all broken off without any assistance because I have fewer and fewer of them? I'm at waist again finally and probably gonna put one last coat of red hair dye on it before I switch to henna. I can not cut it, sure no problem. I can not, not make it RED!

This ^ all of this!

I can't not dye it! My roots grow in and I like it for a few months then there sun lightens it to ginger and out comes the bleach and black :rolleyes:

I don't like my natural colour on me! It makes me look like I'm permanently embarrassed about something so I will always dye.

And despite damage and bleach I have had healthy looking UN split tailbone before, and even a slightly thinning at the ends (still 2.5 inches though) classic.

So this time I'm stepping away from the scissors, and it's nearly BSL and looking just fine :)

[torrilin]

I'm sure this isn't intended this way, but this post kinda stung. I've been trying to figure out whether I can continue to manage long hair with my various disabilities. I don't WANT to cut my hair, but it is at the edge of becoming one of two problems: either looking unkempt all the time because I have so much trouble with it, or having trouble with it interacting badly with my disabilities (which include headache/neck issues and extreme heat sensitivity, so neither up nor down is ideal health-wise).

That is to say, this post has some ableist overtones that are painful to me, as a person with disabilities that interfere with my long hair. Yes, it's written in a comic manner, but so are a lot of things that unintentionally hurt people.

~Blaze

That means you're trying to decide on a reasonable point to maintain. You're *not* trying to grow as long as it'll go. Maintaining something that works well for you is a valid choice.

I honestly do maintain at new milestones for a while because my hair grows faster than my styling ability. That doesn't mean I'm a "bad hair grower". It means I'm being realistic. If I can't manage to stuff my hair in a comfortable updo, I will chop it. Usually a much bigger chop than is needful. Maintaining is a much better idea.

[Mesmerise]

I'm sure this isn't intended this way, but this post kinda stung. I've been trying to figure out whether I can continue to manage long hair with my various disabilities. I don't WANT to cut my hair, but it is at the edge of becoming one of two problems: either looking unkempt all the time because I have so much trouble with it, or having trouble with it interacting badly with my disabilities (which include headache/neck issues and extreme heat sensitivity, so neither up nor down is ideal health-wise).

That is to say, this post has some ableist overtones that are painful to me, as a person with disabilities that interfere with my long hair. Yes, it's written in a comic manner, but so are a lot of things that unintentionally hurt people.

~Blaze

I can see how it could come across this way. However, it's really a post for people who WANT to grow, but make the common mistake of cutting off large chunks of length in order to "get rid of layers" or "cut out old damage" instead of just growing it as is.

There are lots of threads about "non-trimming" or "benign neglect" that essentially say the same thing. These are threads for people who are trying NOT to cut and just leave their hair alone and keep growing it.

I guess what I'm saying is that you can't protect everyone from feeling potentially hurt by a thread.

I have felt slightly hurt in a thread where a bunch of people with quite thick hair were complaining about how thin their hair is and were wishing for thinner hair. Did they mean to hurt my feelings? Well of course not! It is perfectly okay for someone with 4" thickness hair to want it thicker... but when person with 2" hair reads this, they can inadvertently feel very bad. I know I pushed at least one person's buttons when I commented on this in the thread, and I certainly hadn't wanted to make her feel bad... but it is sort of sad when you read that someone with several times as much hair as you feels they don't have enough!

Now I realise that's not about a disability or anything, but there are lots of folks here on LHC who have much shorter terminal lengths than others, or who suffer a lot of taper etc. etc. and there are a LOT of threads that can cause hurt if they're taken the wrong way. Heck, just visit the classic to knee length thread or something ;). Some people will never have that whether they're disabled or not, their hair just can't do it!

[Mayflower]

I think it's mainly about not being a perfectionist about your hair, and learning to be content with what you have/where you are NOW. Also learning about your own hair texture and accepting that, for example, fine thin hair will probably fairytale and never have a thick blunt hemline at longer lengths.

Growing long hair requires patience and enduring 'awkward' phases. I think we are all so used to getting things now, and unless you're going for extensions or a weave, you can't just expect your hair to grow long overnight. It's about getting a different mindset I guess. Being happy with where you are and enjoying the process, not just chopping it all off because APL is such a stupid phase or because you've suddenly decided virgin hair is the way to go.

But then again, there are situations where trimming can be usefull. For example, I can't stand thin ends due to layers so I trim them off. I also think it's counterproductive to let split ends just sit there in my hair so I cut them off. Damage needs to go. But other than that, letting go of an ideal image of glorious, flawless virgin hair and getting real is the best thing to do to avoid impulsive chops that will keep you at shoulder, BSL or whatever for years.

[Mayflower]

I have felt slightly hurt in a thread where a bunch of people with quite thick hair were complaining about how thin their hair is and were wishing for thinner hair. Did they mean to hurt my feelings? Well of course not! It is perfectly okay for someone with 4" thickness hair to want it thicker... but when person with 2" hair reads this, they can inadvertently feel very bad. I know I pushed at least one person's buttons when I commented on this in the thread, and I certainly hadn't wanted to make her feel bad... but it is sort of sad when you read that someone with several times as much hair as you feels they don't have enough!

I totally agree with you on this one (even though I don't have thin hair myself). What I also find a bit odd and actually come across quite a bit here, is people with thick hair commenting in threads for thin haired people saying "oh I wish my hair would be thinner, it's such a pain to do anything with it and it takes hours to dry!!!", while often (not always) people with thin hair wish for their hair to be thicker, and don't want other people to come in and say "Don't feel sad about your thin hair, I'm sure there are advantages too!". I know they mean well but it seems to me that nobody is waiting for such comments by thick haired people in a thread just for those with thin hair. Plus, let's be honest here, those people would probably be depressed if their hair would thin out even the slightest bit, even though it wouldn't 'take hours to dry' anymore.:p

[PolarCathy]

I totally agree with you on this one (even though I don't have thin hair myself). What I also find a bit odd and actually come across quite a bit here, is people with thick hair commenting in threads for thin haired people saying "oh I wish my hair would be thinner, it's such a pain to do anything with it and it takes hours to dry!!!", while often (not always) people with thin hair wish for their hair to be thicker, and don't want other people to come in and say "Don't feel sad about your thin hair, I'm sure there are advantages too!". I know they mean well but it seems to me that nobody is waiting for such comments by thick haired people in a thread just for those with thin hair. Plus, let's be honest here, those people would probably be depressed if their hair would thin out even the slightest bit, even though it wouldn't 'take hours to dry' anymore.:p

This!! Maybe with the addition of that some of these thick-haired people don't even have a freakin profile pic and albums, just a virtual 4" or 6" ponytail that they talk about all the time, even if no one asked them - in a thin hair topic. :rolling: :rolling:

[ingvild]

Well, personally, I'd rather be happy with my hair along the way, and take a longer time to reach my goal... I'm growing to waist, but today I cut back to BSL...because if I could choose, I would rather be at BSL or MBL with blunt ends than waist length with thin ends. But then again, my plan for this year was at maintaining at around BSL to get thicker hair. I just hope that when I'm done, I'll be able to grow to waist without thinking too much about it! :P

[Rosetta]

Stop chasing Virgin hair from the roots, in two years, you go dye it and here we go again!
This I completely agree with - virgin hair is so overrated! :p
Each to their own, of course, but I've myself given up chasing virgin hair; to me it's no use to have virgin hair just for the sake of it... And I realized that for me the above is certainly true ;) (Even now as I'm growing my natural colour, I'm not vowing to keep it "virgin" - I may always get some subtle highlights, use a semi dye or whatever, and I don't see anything wrong with that...)

As for cutting in general (or not cutting), that's entirely up to each and every individual, as long as the owner of said hair is content with theirs ;)

[Mayflower]

This!! Maybe with the addition of that some of these thick-haired people don't even have a freakin profile pic and albums, just a virtual 4" or 6" ponytail that they talk about all the time, even if no one asked them - in a thin hair topic. :rolling: :rolling:

YES! I really don't get why people who are obviously so happy with their gigantic amount of hair (and talk about it constantly) feel the need to complain about it, without even realizing it can hurt people who struggle with thin(ned) hair and sheds. It also kind of makes me wonder how thick their hair really is, if I can be honest. But maybe I'm too paranoid.:D

[PolarCathy]

YES! I really don't get why people who are obviously so happy with their gigantic amount of hair (and talk about it constantly) feel the need to complain about it, without even realizing it can hurt people who struggle with thin(ned) hair and sheds. It also kind of makes me wonder how thick their hair really is, if I can be honest. But maybe I'm too paranoid.:D

You're not paranoid; my fingers have been itching to ask two members like that, ask in a way that there's no escape or excuse. LOL

[Rosetta]

This!! Maybe with the addition of that some of these thick-haired people don't even have a freakin profile pic and albums, just a virtual 4" or 6" ponytail that they talk about all the time, even if no one asked them - in a thin hair topic. :rolling: :rolling:
Well, a profile pic or an album don't really prove anything, people could always upload whatever pictures they like, they might even be someone else's... It would still be only "virtual proof", no more than that ;)

[PolarCathy]

Well, a profile pic or an album don't really prove anything, people could always upload whatever pictures they like, they might even be someone else's... It would still be only "virtual proof", no more than that ;)

That is true to the extent that I wouldn't be surprised if one of these people I refer to, would be a f*tish*st collecting pics here :D because the complete lack of her empathy and the extreme exhibicionist behavior just can't be that of a woman. :rolling: :rolling: :rolling:

[swearnsue]

I don't like my virgin hair, it's a brown with a bunch of gray. I know many could make that look good but for me I like something different. I use henna. If henna didn't exist I would bleach my hair a medium ash blonde!

[catamonica]

I have not trimmed my hair since last year. I wear it in a bun most of the time. It grew four more inches. And it is now at hip. And I do not have any split ends. But if you are going to trim it, better to do it yourself. Then you can just take off a little bit.

[Amygirl8]

It's each to their own, really.
In my honest opinion, the fastest way to get rid of damage is to whack it off, and take care of it letting it grow.
That's obviously not for most people, and I wouldn't dare do it either. I'm trimming slowly, as that's the only way I can bear it.
I sorta think it's rude to tell another person whether they should or should not cut it off. It's their hair after all, and it's a part of their body. Hair grows back.
It just depends on how patient they are when it comes to it.

[swearnsue]

That is true to the extent that I wouldn't be surprised if one of these people I refer to, would be a f*tish*st collecting pics here :D because the complete lack of her empathy and the extreme exhibicionist behavior just can't be that of a woman. :rolling: :rolling: :rolling:

I know you can't say who you are talking about but there are a couple of posters that I've wondered about but haven't wanted to post anything in case I'm the only one who thinks something is off.

[blondie9912]

I agree that sometimes it feels as though we're chasing unachievable hair goals, but I don't think that people should be forbidden from cutting their hair :p If you're growing your hair as much as possible, then yes, it would be wise to not have your shears sitting in your medicine cabinet so you can snip when you're bored, but if you have hip length hair with the last foot of it being a nasty dyed/permed/heat styled mess, then why WOULDN'T you want to cut it?

Micro-trimming is not ideal in all situations... Sometimes if the hair is really damaged it's better to just be rid of it in one go as opposed to dragging out the pain to maintain length.

[PolarCathy]

I know you can't say who you are talking about but there are a couple of posters that I've wondered about but haven't wanted to post anything in case I'm the only one who thinks something is off.

No, you're not. I just don't know how/where to post about it, and obv I don't want to be banned either, for having an opinion. Plus, I could be wrong. So I'm just observing... for a while... till I can't hold it back anymore.

[Cheveux en péta]

It's each to their own, really.
In my honest opinion, the fastest way to get rid of damage is to whack it off, and take care of it letting it grow.
That's obviously not for most people, and I wouldn't dare do it either. I'm trimming slowly, as that's the only way I can bear it.
I sorta think it's rude to tell another person whether they should or should not cut it off. It's their hair after all, and it's a part of their body. Hair grows back.
It just depends on how patient they are when it comes to it.

Okay. So how do I upload pics. I've tried two ways. When I try to add them to my album it reads this:
Invalid Picture specified. If you followed a valid link, please notify the administrator (tlhcstaff@gmail.com)
What? They are my persoanl pics from my own camera. The other way is by using the insert image above and it wants me to refer to an URL. Huh? It would help if I could post the damage I've been talking about.

[PolarCathy]

Okay. So how do I upload pics. I've tried two ways. When I try to add them to my album it reads this:
Invalid Picture specified. If you followed a valid link, please notify the administrator (tlhcstaff@gmail.com)
What? They are my persoanl pics from my own camera. The other way is by using the insert image above and it wants me to refer to an URL. Huh? It would help if I could post the damage I've been talking about.

The uploads are broken now; you can upload pics to an external image hosting site such as flickr, picasa or whatever and link the pic from there..

[Cheveux en péta]

The uploads are broken now; you can upload pics to an external image hosting site such as flickr, picasa or whatever and link the pic from there..

Wow. Now I have to open an account b/c I don't have anything like that at the time. Well, here I go. Be back in few. Thanks!

[GlennaGirl]

I can see how it could come across this way. However, it's really a post for people who WANT to grow, but make the common mistake of cutting off large chunks of length in order to "get rid of layers" or "cut out old damage" instead of just growing it as is.

That's how I took it, too. As someone who has done this over and over for years, it made a good point to me.

I don't think the OP meant it in any sort of militant way, she was just getting a point across while being lighthearted about it. :flower:

I can totally see myself in the original post. :o I've been seeing myself in it for like...eight years now! I am a Holy Grail-er who keeps thinking "all virgin" hair will grant me the ultimate happiness. But I've done it before, and it didn't. This time, I'm keeping my deep fake color...ha!...(well, it's hendigo) AND my layers and growing down a bit. There's nothing wrong with virgin hair; it can be absolutely beautiful. But there's definitely another side to that...some of us just feel, well, fugly au naturel. :flower:

So I think that's what the OP was getting at.

[GlennaGirl]

I know you can't say who you are talking about but there are a couple of posters that I've wondered about but haven't wanted to post anything in case I'm the only one who thinks something is off.

^^ Pointing to self :D We know who we are. And for us the original point is quite true. ETA: Oh! No! I completely misinterpreted the post I just quoted! I thought swearnsue was talking about habitual growers/cutters. Sorry about that.

Not everybody fits this category, obviously! And no, of course there's nothing wrong with trimming or full-on cutting. At least in my opinion. :flower:

[Cheveux en péta]

Yeah....I have to chop my hair, actually shave it down to the scalp. You see, my hair is seriously heat damaged and is coming out because it's brittle and weak in most areas. So doesn't this mean I will have a bald spot eventually? It's thinning out in said areas so what's the point of hoding onto damaged hair if it just keeps coming out anyway? I'm reading and posting as much as I can so I can put some pics up soon. Maybe I'm missing something here...really...do tell.

Still trying to get pics on here

[Cheveux en péta]

Still trying to get pics on here

http://photobucket.com/cheveuxenpeta

well, this give you an idea of my thinned areas and the damaged areas.

[Loviatar]

haha Rita, you just described my life in your original post :D

I am now growing out natural just to see what it's like. I've promised myself I'll let it get to BSL before I ever colour again, and if I want to, then it will be with henna. I haven't seen my virgin hair for more than an inch since I was about 14. Now my whole head, pretty much, is natural.

[Tia2010]

I'm more of a chop the damage off and start fresh kind of gal :D I go for health over length. The length will eventually come.

I just don't see the point of babying and obsessing over damage when in an instant it could be gone and you can start fresh. But that's just me... I'm just too impatient to wait I guess :D I think people that can microtrim and wait it out must have the patience of a Saint! I tried for a few months and was so annoyed with my hair, I had to cut off the ends for the sake of my own sanity :D

ETA: I also don't want virgin hair, so that may be why it's easier for me to chop it... My virgin hair is boring and is starting with the gray! sooo I know I don't want virgin hair so I have no desire to cut it off to try to attain it.

[RitaCeleste]

This ^ all of this!

I can't not dye it! My roots grow in and I like it for a few months then there sun lightens it to ginger and out comes the bleach and black :rolleyes:

I don't like my natural colour on me! It makes me look like I'm permanently embarrassed about something so I will always dye.

And despite damage and bleach I have had healthy looking UN split tailbone before, and even a slightly thinning at the ends (still 2.5 inches though) classic.

So this time I'm stepping away from the scissors, and it's nearly BSL and looking just fine :)

This is what I'm talking about! Your hair can look good even after dye. It is possible to color and not have terrible looking hair. I thought I was going to chop all mine off last year because I went burgundy and had to use a color stripper. My hair was so dry after I recolored I thought I was gonna loose it all. I finally learned to treat it a little better and give it some special care and its 100 times better a year later, and mostly still on my head. I did cave and cut 3 inches off before I tried oiling and deep conditioning. Someone I know and love said, "Your ends look really fried!" My ends usually look that way though so the trim just made sad because a week later, my ends were dry again. I've slowly trimmed out most of the haircut I didn't like. But I would grow my hair to waist and perm it, grow my hair to waist and turn into elastic , grew it all natural to may waist and promptly cut it to celebrate how non-glorious I felt about it. If I get to turn it different colors once in a while, I'm just happier with it. I said what I said because of what I have done and what I see some people going threw.
People never stopped saying things like, "Your hair is really coarse and stiff, have you tried using haircare products for black hair?" "Why can't you just straighten it?" "This is what your hair feels like all natural???" "Its like pubes growing out of your head!" "You hair never looks good longer than bra strap, just cut it already!" just to save my feelings. Believe me I've heard hurtful things and I was not trying to be hurtful.
I was trying to say, "Hey, if you're not getting to your goals, maybe its time to change them up a little! They might not be the right goals for you."

[lapushka]

Growing long hair requires patience and enduring 'awkward' phases. I think we are all so used to getting things now, and unless you're going for extensions or a weave, you can't just expect your hair to grow long overnight. It's about getting a different mindset I guess. Being happy with where you are and enjoying the process, not just chopping it all off because APL is such a stupid phase or because you've suddenly decided virgin hair is the way to go.

This. ^^

I used to have my hair dyed with henna, then went back to a chemical color, back to henna, and so forth, until my hair was so damaged (chemically burned, falling out in chunks), it had to be chopped back off to chin length. I went back to chin length a few times before I "got it" and stopped using dyes on it. Right now, with lots of patience, and nothing but, it's virgin and hip length. It takes enduring some awkward stages to push through to hip length. Dyeing it fun colors, back and forth, and cutting it is so much fun, and it's something different every time, and it seems to get you through an awkward stage, but it's the total opposite of what this site's about: growing your hair in a healthy way.

[prettyhairisred]

As a "cutter offer " I can just say that I wanted all the lackluster strands out of my head right this minute!! My shorter style was shiny and bouncy and it felt so good, like getting all the unwanted stuff out and done with (:
And now its grown out again, which it wouldn't have done before anyway as the 5 inches of frayed ends kept breaking off :P just remember that everyone's situation and hair is different than yours!! though I defiantly agree for Some situations haha

[Vampyria]

I'm more of a chop the damage off and start fresh kind of gal :D I go for health over length. The length will eventually come.

I just don't see the point of babying and obsessing over damage when in an instant it could be gone and you can start fresh. But that's just me... I'm just too impatient to wait I guess :D I think people that can microtrim and wait it out must have the patience of a Saint! I tried for a few months and was so annoyed with my hair, I had to cut off the ends for the sake of my own sanity :D

I'm also like that. I could leave my hair to grow longer and then chop the thinned and dyed hair off. But the look and feel of it was driving me crazy and was obsessing about it all the time. I still have around 3 inches left, but unfortunately I can't chop it off instantly, because it would leave me at chin length.

It's already clear to me that my hair will never be sleek and smooth no matter how much I trim and take care of it, because this is just not my hair type. I just want my normal thickness back.

Plus I like my natural color, so I won't be dyeing it again. If I do it won't be with chemical colors, because they just make my hair look and feel worse.

[Cheveux en péta]

So is there a thread listing acid and alkaline items? Also I've been trying to find more info on correcting damaged hair follicles b/c evidentally that's what's going on with me. Is there a thread for that? Oils, tea rinses, etc. Is there any product that stretch curls? I've read coconut cream does. Keep in mind, I'm trying to use natural products, not name brand store bought items like conditioners, etc.

[Tisiloves]

So is there a thread listing acid and alkaline items? Also I've been trying to find more info on correcting damaged hair follicles b/c evidentally that's what's going on with me. Is there a thread for that? Oils, tea rinses, etc. Is there any product that stretch curls? I've read coconut cream does. Keep in mind, I'm trying to use natural products, not name brand store bought items like conditioners, etc.

A few points a)From the look of your pics your hair isn't that bad, it looks like it might come round with a bit of babying and mega-moisture and I see a lot of people with sparser hair than that. Also if you chop you won't have anything to hide with.

b) I haven't found a list, but acids and alkalis/bases for hair care tend to be acids: citric acid (all citrus fruits), vinegars and most teas are lightly acidic. Alkalis/bases: Baking soda, baby shampoo, relaxer.

c) For regrowth some people have had some success with castor oil: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=18265
Black tea can work to reduce shedding: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=71626 (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=71626) (but can be drying).

d)Some people find that henna can loosen curl, sorry I really don't have much experience with making hair straighter.

For your follicles I would suggest not messing with them and it'll just be a matter of time.

[BlazingHeart]

That means you're trying to decide on a reasonable point to maintain. You're *not* trying to grow as long as it'll go. Maintaining something that works well for you is a valid choice.

I honestly do maintain at new milestones for a while because my hair grows faster than my styling ability. That doesn't mean I'm a "bad hair grower". It means I'm being realistic. If I can't manage to stuff my hair in a comfortable updo, I will chop it. Usually a much bigger chop than is needful. Maintaining is a much better idea.

Um, actually, I do want to grow my hair as long as it'll go. I want to know where that is. So I'm sitting here with this conflict between wanting really long hair and having disabilities that make it so my quality of life will probably improve if I cut it back to above my shoulders.

So it means I'm trapped between wanting really long hair and knowing that I will physically feel better (less pain, less risk of fainting) if my hair is short. See the issue?

[DaniVerde]

I know you can't say who you are talking about but there are a couple of posters that I've wondered about but haven't wanted to post anything in case I'm the only one who thinks something is off.


No, you're not. I just don't know how/where to post about it, and obv I don't want to be banned either, for having an opinion. Plus, I could be wrong. So I'm just observing... for a while... till I can't hold it back anymore.

I am super curious to know who you guys are talking about....

(totally off-topic, I know...) :D

[Cheveux en péta]

A few points a)From the look of your pics your hair isn't that bad, it looks like it might come round with a bit of babying and mega-moisture and I see a lot of people with sparser hair than that. Also if you chop you won't have anything to hide with.

b) I haven't found a list, but acids and alkalis/bases for hair care tend to be acids: citric acid (all citrus fruits), vinegars and most teas are lightly acidic. Alkalis/bases: Baking soda, baby shampoo, relaxer.

c) For regrowth some people have had some success with castor oil: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=18265
Black tea can work to reduce shedding: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=71626 (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=71626)(but can be drying).

d)Some people find that henna can loosen curl, sorry I really don't have much experience with making hair straighter.

For your follicles I would suggest not messing with them and it'll just be a matter of time.

Thanks! I will look into this.

[ravenreed]

Actually, I understand. I have a lot of pain issues and when I am not feeling well, just the weight of my hair is torture. Updo's hurt, and braids pull. The only way I can stand to have my hair is down. I have a lot of headaches and neck pain, and I wonder if I can manage my goal (long enough for a braid to go completely around my head), or if I should give up and trim back to TB where it didn't hurt so danged much. It doesn't make sense that classic should hurt so much more than TB, but that is what I am experiencing. I have even considered going back to waist, which is where I was when I first joined LHC. The only thing stopping me is that I don't want to lose all the updo's I can do with my hair longer. *sigh*


Um, actually, I do want to grow my hair as long as it'll go. I want to know where that is. So I'm sitting here with this conflict between wanting really long hair and having disabilities that make it so my quality of life will probably improve if I cut it back to above my shoulders.

So it means I'm trapped between wanting really long hair and knowing that I will physically feel better (less pain, less risk of fainting) if my hair is short. See the issue?

[tinfoilsally]

Without wanting to sound melodramatic or anything, I reckon I have my damaged ends to thank for my length. I have issues relating to self-esteem etc that meant that every time I felt bad I would cut my own hair- it made me feel edgy and it was easier to pretend that I didn't care about not feeling feminine, when really I did care very much. I haven't cut my own hair in a long time now (over a year) and although I have had one trim done by a hairdresser in that time I consider my issues with my hair to be largely done with. I have my damage to thank for this.
If I hadn't had bad ends to deal with, I'm not sure I would have ever really gotten out of the cut/bleach/cut cycle that I was stuck in, but as it is a lot of my attention was taken by trying out new oils, finding new hairstyles to get through the awkward stages, etc... therefore my focus was diverted from the idea of chopping it all away again.
Obviously this doesn't apply to everyone, some people just cut their hair because they feel it would look better. However, I think that some people are probably stuck in the same cycle as me and in my experience the only way out of that is to lock up your scissors!

[UltraBella]

YES! I really don't get why people who are obviously so happy with their gigantic amount of hair (and talk about it constantly) feel the need to complain about it, without even realizing it can hurt people who struggle with thin(ned) hair and sheds. It also kind of makes me wonder how thick their hair really is, if I can be honest. But maybe I'm too paranoid.:D

I had a gigantic amount of hair until I cut it and thinned it out with a razor cut. While there were things I liked about having thick hair, there were also things that really did bother me and were valid complaints. It seems like there is a double standard sometimes when it comes to thick haired folks having hair woes, they are discounted pretty easily but they shouldn't be.

[cheetahfast]

Well, I am one of those people that chopped their hair off and I am so glad I did.
If I hadn't I would have given up on growing. I had BSL damaged hair from heat styling, lightening, and other bad habits. My hair was so split prone I would have been discouraged from all the trims I would have needed in order to manage my hair.
I chopped to chin and just over a year later with no cuts I am just past BSL, now I love my hair and it is healthy.

[Lissandria]

I had a gigantic amount of hair until I cut it and thinned it out with a razor cut. While there were things I liked about having thick hair, there were also things that really did bother me and were valid complaints. It seems like there is a double standard sometimes when it comes to thick haired folks having hair woes, they are discounted pretty easily but they shouldn't be.

I do see your point, truly. I also believe thick haired folks are just as entitled to have hair woes as us thinnies. :flower:

But as a thinnie- It is really condescending to have a thin hair thread bombared by thick haired folk that coo over how easy and great it must be to have thin hair and then the very same people post a thread the next week titled "OMG guys, circumference went from 5" to 4.8" after big shed. Ugh, my hair is so THIN!":rolleyes:
And yes, in that context, thin is a dirty word IMO.

On topic: OP I do see your point in regards to the serial grow/bleach/strip/cut/grow and then all over again people, who then complain that they still after three years have short hair. However, it is hair, and therefore a very personal choice.

I must say this though- as somebody who has recently decided to grow out my virgin hair- scissors and a fresh start are definitely an appealing option. This thread has definitely got me thinking about my length and how much effort I have put into it in the last 12 months. I am leaning more towards keeping my length while growing out my virgin hair- thanks to this thread.

[UltraBella]

I do see your point, truly. I also believe thick haired folks are just as entitled to have hair woes as us thinnies. :flower:

But as a thinnie- It is really condescending to have a thin hair thread bombared by thick haired folk that coo over how easy and great it must be to have thin hair and then the very same people post a thread the next week titled "OMG guys, circumference went from 5" to 4.8" after big shed. Ugh, my hair is so THIN!":rolleyes:
And yes, in that context, thin is a dirty word IMO.

On topic: OP I do see your point in regards to the serial grow/bleach/strip/cut/grow and then all over again people, who then complain that they still after three years have short hair. However, it is hair, and therefore a very personal choice.

I must say this though- as somebody who has recently decided to grow out my virgin hair- scissors and a fresh start are definitely an appealing option. This thread has definitely got me thinking about my length and how much effort I have put into it in the last 12 months. I am leaning more towards keeping my length while growing out my virgin hair- thanks to this thread.

I definitely see your point as well. And I do think some people emphasize their thickness too much, which makes me wonder if it's really THAT thick. But, I am sure some LHC members have thought the same about me. At least I have an album full of my hair to back up the claim ! What's really weird is when they DO have an album and you go and look - and then wonder where the heck the 7' circumference is, because you can't find it.....


Speaking of albums, I have no current pics in mine. People still probably think I have long red hair, lol. Not even my profile or sig pic is current. Boo :(

[Lissandria]

I definitely see your point as well. And I do think some people emphasize their thickness too much, which makes me wonder if it's really THAT thick. But, I am sure some LHC members have thought the same about me. At least I have an album full of my hair to back up the claim ! What's really weird is when they DO have an album and you go and look - and then wonder where the heck the 7' circumference is, because you can't find it.....


Speaking of albums, I have no current pics in mine. People still probably think I have long red hair, lol. Not even my profile or sig pic is current. Boo :(


Thanks :D

I do agree with you about some members emphasizing their thickness- there are many I look at their classifications then their pics and think "Really??" LOL.
You do not fall into this category though. Would love to see some more recent pics of your new hair!

[jeanniet]

and then wonder where the heck the 7' circumference is, because you can't find it...

I really wanna see what a 7 ft. circumference looks like! :p


I do see your point, truly. I also believe thick haired folks are just as entitled to have hair woes as us thinnies. :flower:

But as a thinnie- It is really condescending to have a thin hair thread bombared by thick haired folk that coo over how easy and great it must be to have thin hair and then the very same people post a thread the next week titled "OMG guys, circumference went from 5" to 4.8" after big shed. Ugh, my hair is so THIN!":rolleyes:
And yes, in that context, thin is a dirty word IMO.

I can see where this would be upsetting, and I certainly hope I haven't done anything like what you mention. I will say, however, that I really have always wanted thin, fine hair and have always loved seeing it on other women. This stems from being the only minority (and bullied) child with dark, thick, "ugly" hair in a classroom full of girls with (seemingly) perfect, blonde, thin, fine hair. I was completely intimidated by it, but of course secretly longed for it, too. I guess I might not like it if I got it, but the 11 year old me still loves and yearns for it.

I'm definitely a cut off damage type. Damaged ends mean tangled ends for me, and I just can't stand that. So I'd have to go for health over length.

[Lissandria]

I really wanna see what a 7 ft. circumference looks like! :p



I can see where this would be upsetting, and I certainly hope I haven't done anything like what you mention. I will say, however, that I really have always wanted thin, fine hair and have always loved seeing it on other women. This stems from being the only minority (and bullied) child with dark, thick, "ugly" hair in a classroom full of girls with (seemingly) perfect, blonde, thin, fine hair. I was completely intimidated by it, but of course secretly longed for it, too. I guess I might not like it if I got it, but the 11 year old me still loves and yearns for it.

I'm definitely a cut off damage type. Damaged ends mean tangled ends for me, and I just can't stand that. So I'd have to go for health over length.

You certainly are not one of those people. ;)

Im sorry you were buliied- I have always envied your thick raven waves. The grass is always greener, eh? :D

[jeanniet]

You certainly are not one of those people. ;)

Im sorry you were buliied- I have always envied your thick raven waves. The grass is always greener, eh? :D
Indeed it is. I just gave my little story to try to explain why someone with thick hair really might be envious of thinner hair. In fact, my dream hair is what is often referred to as limp or lank. My best friend in high school had hair like that--she hated it, and I would have done anything to have it!

[BlazingHeart]

I definitely see your point as well. And I do think some people emphasize their thickness too much, which makes me wonder if it's really THAT thick. But, I am sure some LHC members have thought the same about me. At least I have an album full of my hair to back up the claim ! What's really weird is when they DO have an album and you go and look - and then wonder where the heck the 7' circumference is, because you can't find it.....


Speaking of albums, I have no current pics in mine. People still probably think I have long red hair, lol. Not even my profile or sig pic is current. Boo :(


I can only imagine what a 7" circ would look like. I'm around 5.3" right now, was at 5.8" or so before my big shed last year, and that's damn near unmanageable...I think a 7" circ would mean not being able to put your hair up without sectioning until you reached knee! Yikes. Not to mention how much it would weigh and how hard it'd be to make an updo that didn't hurt.

Like some of the other thick-haired members, I apologize if I've contributed to the attitude of thick-preference or been condescending. I think for me, part of it is that I wouldn't be in my current state - sometimes very near to cutting it all off - if it was thinner. It's frustrating to know that, and also to know that my hair responds to layers very, very badly, because I'm a wavy, so they just kind of...spread. Into massive triangle head all the way down to my ends.

~Blaze

[jeanniet]

I just took a peek over in the thin hair thread for the first time, and...you're going to laugh at me, but I had no idea any of those posters were i/ii. I don't really look at stats, just pics. I mean, Rini has thin hair? Really? There's some seriously drool-worthy hair in there!

[ravenreed]

Interesting- one of the reasons I have always had layers is because I get triangle head without them, and I am definitely a wavy.



I can only imagine what a 7" circ would look like. I'm around 5.3" right now, was at 5.8" or so before my big shed last year, and that's damn near unmanageable...I think a 7" circ would mean not being able to put your hair up without sectioning until you reached knee! Yikes. Not to mention how much it would weigh and how hard it'd be to make an updo that didn't hurt.

Like some of the other thick-haired members, I apologize if I've contributed to the attitude of thick-preference or been condescending. I think for me, part of it is that I wouldn't be in my current state - sometimes very near to cutting it all off - if it was thinner. It's frustrating to know that, and also to know that my hair responds to layers very, very badly, because I'm a wavy, so they just kind of...spread. Into massive triangle head all the way down to my ends.

~Blaze

[Lissandria]

I can only imagine what a 7" circ would look like. I'm around 5.3" right now, was at 5.8" or so before my big shed last year, and that's damn near unmanageable...I think a 7" circ would mean not being able to put your hair up without sectioning until you reached knee! Yikes. Not to mention how much it would weigh and how hard it'd be to make an updo that didn't hurt.

Like some of the other thick-haired members, I apologize if I've contributed to the attitude of thick-preference or been condescending. I think for me, part of it is that I wouldn't be in my current state - sometimes very near to cutting it all off - if it was thinner. It's frustrating to know that, and also to know that my hair responds to layers very, very badly, because I'm a wavy, so they just kind of...spread. Into massive triangle head all the way down to my ends.

~Blaze

I would love to see a 7" circ- I agree it is unimaginable for me too!

Please don't apologise- I didn't mean to lash out at thick haired LHC folk or cause any guilt/hard feelings :blossom:

I wholeheartedly agree that thick hair has its trials and tribulations just as much as thin hair does and it must be very frustrating to have hair so thick without layers as an option to help manage thickness.

[jeanniet]

Don't apologize. I understand what you meant, and having seen the thread now I really understand!

[Lissandria]

Don't apologize. I understand what you meant, and having seen the thread now I really understand!

Thankyou :)

[Yozhik]

Well, I'm in the camp of leaning towards a big chop, but not because of damage or it being not virgin. For me, I'm getting ready to enter a new phase in my life (grad school in the fall), and to do that, I'm planning on starting over with APLish length hair.

Growing out was one of the most fun parts of my hair journey, rather than having waist+ hair (which I had always imagined would be awesome, but in reality is less so).

So chop it is for me, with a new start, too. :D

[BlazingHeart]

I would love to see a 7" circ- I agree it is unimaginable for me too!

Please don't apologise- I didn't mean to lash out at thick haired LHC folk or cause any guilt/hard feelings :blossom:

I wholeheartedly agree that thick hair has its trials and tribulations just as much as thin hair does and it must be very frustrating to have hair so thick without layers as an option to help manage thickness.

I'd rather be told when I've put my foot in it. No hard feelings here, just the knowledge that I need to think more about what I say to avoid hurting others. :flower:

[alyanna]

"Stop cutting it off" is one of the best pieces of advice I've gotten actually. My sister-in-law told me if I kept trimming it would never grow. And she was right. When I first started LHC, I did trim a couple of times to get rid of some of my highlights and layers. But now, I'm going on 10 months, absolutely no trims and I hazard to say that my longest strands are nearing BSL!!! I started at chin around March 2011 and was stuck at shoulder for the longest time while trimming.

Mind you, I'm a thinnie with damaged ends, but somehow they don't look THAT bad right now. I regularly oil the ends after washing my hair, and I do baby it quite a bit, but nothing out of the ordinary. I don't wear it up all the time or anything...

[Mayflower]

I definitely see your point as well. And I do think some people emphasize their thickness too much, which makes me wonder if it's really THAT thick. But, I am sure some LHC members have thought the same about me. At least I have an album full of my hair to back up the claim ! What's really weird is when they DO have an album and you go and look - and then wonder where the heck the 7' circumference is, because you can't find it.....


Speaking of albums, I have no current pics in mine. People still probably think I have long red hair, lol. Not even my profile or sig pic is current. Boo :(

Lissandria explained what I meant very well! Obviously looking at your photos, nobody could doubt you're an iii, with every right to complain about heaviness. :D

On another topic, I do believe some people exacerbate their thickness which is really confusing. I see people with ii who have way thicker hair than some members with iii. It always makes me go measure my thickness again, haha.

[PolarCathy]

I wasn't referring to any of you (UltraBella, BlazingHeart...) either, commenting so far on our offtopic outburst :)

[Phalaenopsis]

Lissandria explained what I meant very well! Obviously looking at your photos, nobody could doubt you're an iii, with every right to complain about heaviness. :D

On another topic, I do believe some people exacerbate their thickness which is really confusing. I see people with ii who have way thicker hair than some members with iii. It always makes me go measure my thickness again, haha.

Pictures can be misleading :) My hair can look quite thick, or just normal thickness, just depending on how my ends fall across my back that day and if I just had a recent trim, giving me really blunt ends. And because I have straight hair, it always looks thinner, than someone with curls and lot of volume.

I doubt that people want to mislead other people on purpose about their thickness.

[Othala]

I must not cut my hair off this year, I really must not. I cut it every year around october/November when it has grown out over the summer and has ratty ends that feel like velcro. So my plan is to take excellent care of the ends and keep it up with my new hairsticks and leave it alone.

Yozhik, my dear, I wish you all the best in your new start at grad school and new hair length in the fall.

[juliaxena]

Gah, I chickened out from that cut! My advice to anyone brave enough is do it as early on as possible! The longer the hair, the harder it is to do it. Should have chopped at shoulder... SO I did a micro trim instead and I am sitting with protein treatment in my hair and then I will do my weekly looooong deep treatment (yeah, 3 hours or more every Sunday) to make my ends look presentable even though they are about half thinner than hair higher up. Perhaps I will wait till I use up the protein stuff I bought and cut two inches off in about 5 months to maintain at BSL for a while:rolleyes:

[ravenreed]

Also, thickness changes. Someone asked me why I was commenting about my thinner hair since most of my photos in my albums show hair that looks reasonably thick. I had a surgery over a year ago, and lost about a quarter to a third of thickness in a post surgery shed. I wasn't surprised because I had an ovary removed and it messed with my hormones something fierce. Anyway, my hair isn't anywhere near as thick now as it was in most of my pics. Most of it has grown back, but not all, and I am now on the thin side of average.


ETA: For example, my hair was actually longer in the second photo, by several inches:

Pre-surgery

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=1988&pictureid=72100

Post-surgery

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=1988&pictureid=130596




Pictures can be misleading :) My hair can look quite thick, or just normal thickness, just depending on how my ends fall across my back that day and if I just had a recent trim, giving me really blunt ends. And because I have straight hair, it always looks thinner, than someone with curls and lot of volume.

I doubt that people want to mislead other people on purpose about their thickness.

[RitaCeleste]

My hair was maybe a iii when I was a teen. I always had it thinned and layered. It has wave and texture and always poofs. I measure now and I'm a kinda smallish ii I think. It only looks thin after I wash it when its wet though. Once when it was straightened and I saw how little hair I actually had, I freaked out. I let no one thin it now. But it looks like I have tons of hair in the pic of the back of my hair. Because of all the poof, it does not look thin. I can make a figure 8 bun with it and get it to look okay most days. It looks like a small/medium sized bun. I use short hair sticks. It tapers a lot and the bottom 6 inches are really skinny but I try to hide that. Some people's hair just looks way thicker than it is because of the texture or the way they shed and regrow and have lots of shorter hairs mixed in to add to the volume.

[pink.sara]

Well this was an interesting derail! I just came back on to have a quick catch up and seemed to have totally missed the point somewhere :confused:

Was someone whining about thickness somewhere?!

ETA: Ah, now there's the reason I don't go offering advice or asking questions on threads I can't relate to. Even though as someone with thick hair who has just razored about a third of it out from 3 inches to the ends to give me more manageability (and allow me to bun it in the one bun it's fits in at this length) I don't really see how I could post in a thin hair thread without coming off as patronising.

It's difficult enough to convey the feeling and intent behind a post as it is!

[arith]

I think that everyone should do what TRULY makes them happy, whether that is cutting or keeping their hair. What’s the point of not cutting your hair if you are not happy whit it just to keep the length? But I do agree that compulsive hair cutting it’s not okay, or at least it wasn’t for me, I used to always say I wanted long hair but ended dyeing, bleaching and then cutting it over and over again. But it wasn’t until I realized that the only reason I did that was because I wasn’t happy with some aspect of my life and I took it out on my hair, cause that I could control. Once I realized it, it never ever happened again. That said, I do trim my hair when its necessary and mostly when I can’t get a comb thru my hair no matter how many times I clarify, moisturize, etc. And that 1-2 cm makes ALL the difference.

[afu]

I suppose it depends on your length goals and the condition of your hair. Some people on here don't actually want super long hair - they just want healthy hair. My hair is damaged from bleach and heat but since i started COing and oiling ive managed to make my hair look really healthy without needing any trims (6 months ago i would never have believed my hair could look this good again). So for me im ok without cutting it all off but for those who have had perms etc in the past i totally understand wanting to go in for the chop!

[Hollyfire3]

I can only imagine what a 7" circ would look like. I'm around 5.3" right now, was at 5.8" or so before my big shed last year, and that's damn near unmanageable...I think a 7" circ would mean not being able to put your hair up without sectioning until you reached knee! Yikes. Not to mention how much it would weigh and how hard it'd be to make an updo that didn't hurt.

Like some of the other thick-haired members, I apologize if I've contributed to the attitude of thick-preference or been condescending. I think for me, part of it is that I wouldn't be in my current state - sometimes very near to cutting it all off - if it was thinner. It's frustrating to know that, and also to know that my hair responds to layers very, very badly, because I'm a wavy, so they just kind of...spread. Into massive triangle head all the way down to my ends.

~Blaze

I apoligize for ever sounding consecending or mean about having thick hair...my hair isn't even "super" thick, at least to me. But personally, I feel it to be quite hard to manage at a 4.25 ponytail, I don't try to brag about it being thick, it was just suprising when I measured it for the first time because I have had tons of hairdressers say what my hair was lacking....
I am not without hair problems though for those who know me, I have had serious issues with past heat damage ruining my curls and basically everything about my hair down to the ends, so as I fix it, i am begining to appreciate the hair I have.

[spidermom]

Well gee whiz, thin-haired folks. I never got the memo that said I'm not allowed to drop into a thread where thin-haired folks are complaining and suggest that there might be advantages they are overlooking.

I'll try to keep my fingers to myself.

[DaniVerde]

Well gee whiz, thin-haired folks. I never got the memo that said I'm not allowed to drop into a thread where thin-haired folks are complaining and suggest that there might be advantages they are overlooking.

I'll try to keep my fingers to myself.

Err...I could be wrong (and waaaaay out of line here), but I think most of the thin-haired people that are complaining are referring to either a specific incident that happened in "their" thread, or are referring to a specific type of attitude that they've perceived.

And I'm quite sure that your comments would be welcome, spidermom! :)

[PolarCathy]

Err...I could be wrong (and waaaaay out of line here), but I think most of the thin-haired people that are complaining are referring to either a specific incident that happened in "their" thread, or are referring to a specific type of attitude that they've perceived.

And I'm quite sure that your comments would be welcome, spidermom! :)

I have never seen spidermom mentioning or praising her thickness in just about every comment of hers in any thread (in a way that no matter what the chat is about, she aways gets back to her thick hair).

[DaniVerde]

I have never seen spidermom mentioning or praising her thickness in just about every comment of hers in any thread (in a way that no matter what the chat is about, she aways gets back to her thick hair).


That's what I was trying to say, in my awkward way :)

[lora410]

If I had virgin hair (minus henndigo and then switched to black dye for roots) my hair prob wouldn't be down to my butt crack or my ends as thick. The dye/henndigo really thickens the strands. My reg this hair is much thinner then my dyed pieces. Even though I dye my roots I have no isses with breakage but maybe that was because i started with henndigo first. I do small trims twice a yr or whenI feel my ends are too thin. Also when my hair was virgin all I could think about ws trying a different color. I have been blackhaired for 3 or more yrs and it just looks natural on me (my dad had black hair) My hair used to be brunette but never suited me. I swear I should have been born with black hair. Sorry I went off topic..LOL

[Cheveux en péta]

Whew! Back on topic now. Thanks!

[spidermom]

Back off topic - thanks for the reassurance. I was feeling a bit sensitive because I have commented in thin hair complaint threads and blogs.

I can't brag; my hair is not so impressively thick as some. I straddle the line between ii and iii.

[DaniVerde]

Back off topic - thanks for the reassurance. I was feeling a bit sensitive because I have commented in thin hair complaint threads and blogs.

I can't brag; my hair is not so impressively thick as some. I straddle the line between ii and iii.

Hey, no worries! I was feeling insecure at first too...then I went and looked at the thread in question and realized that certain people were being very insensitive and self-centered. But not us ;)

[PolarCathy]

Hey, no worries! I was feeling insecure at first too...then I went and looked at the thread in question and realized that certain people were being very insensitive and self-centered. But not us ;)

Still, we shouldn't have picked up on it. I mean def yes pick up on it because it reached a really annoying level but not here. :(
I'm not exactly sure how it came up but I've had a great part in the offtopic posts that's for sure. :( Sorry about that.
/ON

[Hollyfire3]

Hey, no worries! I was feeling insecure at first too...then I went and looked at the thread in question and realized that certain people were being very insensitive and self-centered. But not us ;)

I'm not one of the people mentioned for being insentive right?....I'm sorry if I was......

[pink.sara]

....:whistle:

[cheetahfast]

Hey, no worries! I was feeling insecure at first too...then I went and looked at the thread in question and realized that certain people were being very insensitive and self-centered. But not us ;)

I went over to check out the thread and realized I should join, but I probably won't since I fear having hair like my mom, if I think about my thin/fine issues (probably will never happen she uses a blowdryer daily and does not use any conditioner even, just SLS shampoo).
I have no clue who the member in question was, since I think that is the person I have blocked :shrug:.

Sorry...for the off topic-ness.

[Quetiepi]

My hair is starting to bug me. I have been thinking about cutting off what's left of the blond hair dye and being virgin gray, which would put me at chin length. The dyed stuff looks awful to me. So I read the first page of this thread, and then skip to the last and find that there has been an argument in between.
Seriously, an argument about hair thickness?

[fairystar32]

I sadly have had to trim as my hair was breaking and going really thin. I have been here 5 yrs I think and grew to almost hip and now back to almost waist :( I do tell her to take only the ends but the 'ends' seem to be all my growth despite her cutting mmm? every 3-4 mths..
She is either chopping more than I think or my hair has stopped growing as well. I have had huge health issues occur over the last 2.5 yrs though...

I think if people want to remove damage, thats their choice though.

[fairystar32]

Mu husband and eldest son also tell me
'mum, its far better having shorter healthy hair which looks nice, than tatty broken hair which looks like rags'
It made me feel much better :)

[spidermom]

I agree fairstar, there is that. I once cut from near waist to APL, and honestly - those ends were so dried out and chewed-on looking that I was far better off without them.

[Hollyfire3]

I agree fairstar, there is that. I once cut from near waist to APL, and honestly - those ends were so dried out and chewed-on looking that I was far better off without them.

I thought your name said Firestar, fairstar. Also, I agree with Spidermom.

[fairystar32]

Its actually
fairystar
LoL :)

I thought your name said Firestar, fairstar. Also, I agree with Spidermom.

[jeanniet]

My hair is starting to bug me. I have been thinking about cutting off what's left of the blond hair dye and being virgin gray, which would put me at chin length. The dyed stuff looks awful to me. So I read the first page of this thread, and then skip to the last and find that there has been an argument in between.
Seriously, an argument about hair thickness?
It was really more a discussion about the appropriateness of frequent comments lamenting hair thickness in a thread where people with thinner hair are trying to support each other--particularly when many of those people have lost thickness due to health issues. I don't think it was about thickness vs. thinness, really.

Cutting all your length to chin is a lot, but if you really dislike the dye and want virgin gray, maybe it's worth it. I grew chin to waist in about two years, so it wasn't that long, but boy, it seemed to take forever!

[MsBubbles]

Jeanniet...I'm so sorry that you were bullied and felt ostracized as a child. :grouphug: I got bullied to but for other reasons. People are so stupid.

Spidermom...I welcome you pointing out how my hair looks to you (i.e. not as thin as I see it)! So please don't stop.

To the OP...I wish we could yell this thread title to all the mainstream salons, and all the girls/ladies who have ever said "Hmm, I'd like to grow my hair out...", but who have no idea that getting it trimmed at a salon would mean coming out with a chin length bob.

[RitaCeleste]

Oh, I've chopped off some bad hair in my life too. Sometimes there is no way around it. Sometimes people think its worse than it is though. I almost chopped all mine last year. I changed my routine and haircare products and it turned out to be completely worth saving. For me chopping would have been a big mistake. The commentary was more about having goals that suit you and the possibility that all natural hair is not the be all, end all, goal for everyone growing out their hair. Understand what makes you happy. If that would be shorter hair, go for it! Its okay if it turns out long hair isn't your thing. Its okay if you hate your hair one way, but you can love it another way. Options are great. Realistic goals are important. If you self sabotage figuring out why that happens is gonna help you.

[Hollyfire3]

Its actually
fairystar
LoL :)

oh I'm so sorry! Fairystar it is.:)

[Lissandria]

To the OP...I wish we could yell this thread title to all the mainstream salons, and all the girls/ladies who have ever said "Hmm, I'd like to grow my hair out...", but who have no idea that getting it trimmed at a salon would mean coming out with a chin length bob.

This exactly.

[Tabihito]

To the OP...I wish we could yell this thread title to all the mainstream salons, and all the girls/ladies who have ever said "Hmm, I'd like to grow my hair out...", but who have no idea that getting it trimmed at a salon would mean coming out with a chin length bob.

Actually, I got a mainstream salon haircut today and came out with only an inch cut off, maintaining the layers I already have. I don't want all one length until I get past hip, due to wear-down-ability, and therefore salons are a better option for me. Honestly, I was a bit terrified going in, especially because it was a cheap place at the mall, but I got exactly what I asked for.

Of course, if you don't ask at a salon? Coming out with hair much shorter is definitely possible, and quite likely. And I got lucky- my stylist had curly hair, and therefore knew what I meant when I said I wanted to keep my long layers, but that more layers added would likely turn my hair into a frizzball.

For the most part though, I agree with the sentiment that big chops aren't often necessary. They can be sometimes, but damage can also be dealt with as it grows out. This is probably more difficult than just cutting though, so I can see why so many people would. Personally, I'm just growing my hair, slowly cutting off the old flatiron abuse damage. I get my one-inch trims about once every nine months, S&D in between, and otherwise just deal with it. On the other hand, it's only flatiron damage; bleach damage, I've seen, can tend to be a lot worse, and may not be manageable.

[Isilme]

Well it depends. I have hair that is between TB and classic. This winter I felt like doing something different with my hair and I used what is called an intensive toner. Something between a washout dye and permanent. I liked it so much I did it several times and thus ended up with damaged ends.
Since I like healthy hair and I´m not planning on growing much longer I feel that taking off 10 cm might just be what I need, a little bit less hair now that we will (hopefully) have some warmer weather and I can cut out some damage. A win win situation. I´m not going to keep my scraggly ends in the name of length.
But I know that when I started out at a shortish apl with damaged ends I focused on babying it and keeping my hair. Now it is different.

[pink.sara]

Since I like healthy hair and I´m not planning on growing much longer I feel that taking off 10 cm might just be what I need, a little bit less hair now that we will (hopefully) have some warmer weather and I can cut out some damage. A win win situation. I´m not going to keep my scraggly ends in the name of length.
But I know that when I started out at a shortish apl with damaged ends I focused on babying it and keeping my hair. Now it is different.

This is a really good point. I have cut from classic to chin to lose damage before but only because I had had long hair for several years at that point and felt like a change.
Now my goal is to grow it longer again I will baby it rather than cut damage as length seems more important than "perfect" hair.

The point it begins to look scraggly or turns to velcro and I can't remedy it I will cut though, I would rather healthy shiny APL than broken scraggly waist.

[Covet]

I find this thread a little rude... Especially the assumption that people will just go and dye it again. Each to his own...

[RitaCeleste]

Make yourself happy! I grew virgin hair to waist. I combed wet with a wide toothed comb. I scrunched to bring out my waves. I used a leave in and salon quality products. Dry, I finger combed only. I grew it to the waist and couldn't wait to cut it to celebrate reaching my goal. Having what you are seeking didn't make my millennium. I hope you are happy and love it when you reach your goals. I hope you understand people can have different goals and find happiness in their own way. I really do hope people can find happiness with their hair. I did! I color the mess out of my hair. I never, ever use a comb. I don't scrunch. I brush it and oil it for for frizz. I poof and I'm good with that! I'm totally happy with my hair this time at waist. I've never hit it before and been happy. Once when I hit it, I had turned it to elastic and all the care it needed was too much. I hope my slutty hair doesn't offend you. I hope my goals don't offend you. I hope the idea that not everyone finds virgin hair the greatest thing since sliced bread doesn't offend you. Have a nice day!

[Unofficial_Rose]

Someone at a meet told me she met a girl who spent 4 years growing her hair out virgin - then decided she didn't like it!

[swearnsue]

Virgin anything is highly overrated, IMO.

[RitaCeleste]

I think some people just need to figure out how it is they like their hair. For me, its color. If I can color it, I never think I need a high quality salon style to go with it. It got me threw awkward growing phases. It said to the world, "Hey, I care enough about my appearance to do something!" Even when my nails were not done, I wasn't wearing make-up, I wasn't sporting the trendiest style. I'm going to give henna a go and see if actually tames my poofy waves a bit too. For me, I can't do a perm or straightener because there are spots in my hair that don't ever neutralize and the hair there will continue to fry after leaving a salon. The damage from that is heinous for me. I just had to figure out what made me like my hair enough to leave it on my head and what never works for me.

[XcaliburGirl]

I think the important thing is to not cut your hair off because you feel you HAVE to do it or that "virgin" hair is somehow objectively better. I don't think we should be bullying others into cutting or not cutting.

I do wonder at the amount of people who, in search of the perfect color, dye and redye and bleach and color oops, then chop and regrow, over and over. Strand tests and the two-week rule would probably go a long way there. It's their decision though.

I've never cut because of damage, though I've done two big chops because I wanted to try short hair for a while. (If you are considering it, though, take my advice and chop to the shortest length you want to try first and try the in-between lengths as you grow out. I chopped to chin, then grew to APL, then decided I wanted to try a pixie.)

We all know that the trick with growing long hair is to not cut it and avoid damage, while still enjoying it. I wear a ponytail every day. I know I may very well get mechanical damage, but I don't like my hair down and it's not long enough for an updo yet.

I think if I started this thread, I would change the title to "Stop Making the Same Mistake More Than Once!" Be it cutting, dying, growing without trims, or whatever your own "mistake" is.

[elbow chic]

Virgin anything is highly overrated, IMO.
:flasher: too right!

[RitaCeleste]

I think if I started this thread, I would change the title to "Stop Making the Same Mistake More Than Once!" Be it cutting, dying, growing without trims, or whatever your own "mistake" is.

I'll keep that in mind next time! I do understand cutting when the amount of products and time to care for it and keep it is too much or it just really looks too bad to keep. It was more about people getting into a cycle of making the same mistakes and never figuring out what is causing it. Some people have pointed its not their hair or how it looked or felt to them that got them into the cycle of grow, cut, grow but its was a totally different issue or problem that led to it for them. I just hear so many times," I want it all natural so here I go again, CHOP!" that it seemed liked the most common reason people were starting over and over to me. There are plenty of good times and reasons to cut, but its when it gets to be a cycle that people need to work out what the deal is. And yeah, the cycles that mess people are many and varied. My daughter got caught up in my cycle of "I'm just too busy to do anything for hair!" and lost a few inches to a trim because she didn't have protein treatments and detangler because I stunk! Her tangles were so bad she threatened to chop it, then I ran out and bought her good supplies.:o

[ravenreed]

I did it for three years. I hated every second of it. However, I had been dyeing my hair since I was 16, so it was a good experience to see what my natural color actually was.



Someone at a meet told me she met a girl who spent 4 years growing her hair out virgin - then decided she didn't like it!

[torrilin]

Um, actually, I do want to grow my hair as long as it'll go. I want to know where that is. So I'm sitting here with this conflict between wanting really long hair and having disabilities that make it so my quality of life will probably improve if I cut it back to above my shoulders.

So it means I'm trapped between wanting really long hair and knowing that I will physically feel better (less pain, less risk of fainting) if my hair is short. See the issue?

Pain sucks. When I've had a choice between do X and reduce pain or do Y and live with pain... I pick X every time, not Y. (and I think I've mentioned before, but if I ended up with a medical condition that meant I needed hair above my shoulders, I might well choose to maintain a shaved head...)

On the other hand, I doubt you *have* to cut back to your shoulders to be comfortable. Shorter than terminal? Yes. For all we know, your terminal could be past floor, and very few people maintain a length of past floor. But somewhere between shoulders and terminal, there's going to be a spot where you can strike a balance between your health and your desire for pretty hair. It might be relatively short, or you might work out methods that are pleasant and comfy at 36"... It's hard to predict.

It still doesn't make you a bad hair grower if you trim. It means you're sensibly choosing to not faint, thus making a strong feminist statement and choosing not to scare your service dog.

We all have tradeoffs to make. And I really wish your tradeoffs were not so unpleasant. But then, I don't think most of us would want to live with my situation either (menstrual cramps so severe that they cause vomiting from pain). I mean, yay, it's transient pain... but also, boo, no one really should be in that level of pain. One way or another, I'm going to be on very strong medication til menopause to control it. It doesn't mean I'm a bad person for taking painkillers or other drugs. It means I'm someone who doesn't want to hurt.

[Changling]

I did it for three years. I hated every second of it. However, I had been dyeing my hair since I was 16, so it was a good experience to see what my natural color actually was.

I feel like if someone just allowed their roots to grow in an inch or two, then dyed the length to match, and just left it for a few months, they'd get a pretty good idea whether or not they wanted virgin hair. Then if that person didn't like it, they could just dye it however they liked it, and if they *did* like it, just let it keep growing! It seems like it would just be easier and less...i don't know, traumatizing? Than getting a super short cut, then having to wait years for it all to grow back :(

I have virgin hair now, and I love it so much, I will never dye it again. But I didn't cut it *in order* to grow virgin hair...I cut it, *and then* decided that would be a good time to stop dying it! And I'm glad I did. I still see the appeal of dying one's hair...I just think that it got old for me (all that upkeep, bluh).

[RitaCeleste]

I tried to like it all natural, I really did! I didn't give up right away, I kept trying. I was convinced I'd ruin my hair and have to cut it all off if I used a chemical on it. I was doing the right things after all, everyone said so. When it got to waist and went for layers and a cut, something anything! The stylist was feeling my hair. My hair is very rough and coarse all natural, silky does not happen to it. I proudly said to the hairdresser teasingly "Its virgin hair, this is just how it grows!" She replied, "In that case, maybe you should put some chemicals on it????" I liked my cut, and this salon knows me really well. I decided to try coloring it. It was soft after the color! Its not just the conditioner packs, I bought them just to see if that would do it. The chemicals do help my texture. lol A lot of people would say my stylist was rude, but I love that salon. I miss going in even though I think I don't have the face to wear the stylish cuts I pick out to get there. They know I can (and do) cut my own hair, not as well as them, but not a disaster. I know they would take my money and give me a tiny trim if I asked them to, but they would roll their eyes at me for paying for that. Still, I miss them.

[CurlyMopTop]

I had virgin hair when I found LHC, and now I Henna. I love it! I've done a couple of huge chops and many dustings over the last year. The layers that I once loved had to go. Since last September, I have gone from 1/8 in. circumference 2 in. above my ends to 11/2 in. circumference 2 in. above my ends. One more chop will get rid of the last of my layers and give me a perfectly straight, blunt hemline. My hair has been between apl and bsl this whole time. I refuse to go any shorter than apl. I'm looking forward to growing out my hair with a hemline that I feel I can be proud of! :D I know it adds on to the length of time I'll be growing but I think for me it's worth it. I agree with you about the endless cycle though. After all of this growing and trimming, I'd kick myself in the a....sss if I ever cut layers back into it. ;D

[MaryMarx]

Haha. I should have read this two days ago, now it's too late. Please be nice! :p

[juliaxena]

I need to stop reading this thread. It keeps making me want to cut!!!! It is not working the way it should. I guess only not thinking about my icky ends and/or chickening out from a cut is preventing me from doing it.

[FrannyG]

Sorry to revive this old thread, but it was a topic that I wanted to address, and I decided to use this thread, which I found this in Search instead of starting a new thread.

I don't even understand the title of this thread. Perhaps it's for people who cut and then moan, but I'm not one of those people.

I've cut my hair back several times since joining LHC for a variety of reasons. This month I cut from almost-waist to BSL so that I could have a straight-across hemline. I don't regret that cut, nor do I regret any of my previous cuts. I had my reasons for all of them, and I don't feel that it was in any way counter-productive.

Yes, I have an ultimate goal of hip length, but I'm in no hurry to get there. I want to get to my goal in my own time, and on my own terms. I'm enjoying the process of getting healthier hair much more than I am obsessing about getting to a certain length.

Also, everyone has different goals. As much as I drool over classic length hair and beyond, that is not a goal that I personally want or think is doable for myself.

Additionally, sometimes people want a change, and that might a shorter cut. I am, however an advocate of the two week rule, so that the likelihood of emotional cutting is decreased.

This forum is not about whomever has the longest hair wins. It's about supporting one another to our goals, whether that is shoulder length or floor length.

ETA: Like juliaxena, this thread perversely makes me think about cutting my hair even shorter. I don't know why. :p

[Vampyria]

I did cut my hair after reading this thread.:D
I went from 1 inch to APL to almost shoulder (I'm growing out thin ends). I think that something someone said about cutting their hair to chin length encouraged me to cut, and I have no patience to micro trim all the time anyway ;)

[MinderMutsig]

The problem is that sometimes the damage can feel gross. So people are supposed to keep damage they don't like the feel of, even though they're going to trim it off anyway? I'd go crazy if I had to walk around with 8 inches worth of damage, for the sake of length. I've seen some heads of hair I'd like to take scissors to. It's up to the individual, and if that's what they want, cool. But I don't see any reason to berate people because they want a fresh start. I agree.

(And here's your ten stupid characters you stupid ten character notification thing!:draw:)

[Allychan]

I am almost at my goal. The bottom 6in or so are terribly thin and I seriously consider cutting them off all the time.

But last year in August I cut off all my 8mths of growth. It was a good idea as the ends were really uneven and fried from straightening, hair dye and an asymmetrical bob.

I am not cutting back this time. Instead maintaining at my goal length, otherwise I'm going to feel like I have gotten nowhere. Atleast if I have the length I have reached one goal and that will give me the patience to stick with it until it thickens up.

I'm not chasing the virgin hair holy grail, I enjoy colouring with the henndigo. I also think there are many pros and cons to thick or thin hair.

psst And I suspect that insensitive 'poster' is a male too?