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hendrickx
May 28th, 2012, 04:37 AM
Been growing out my hair for 13 months (to the day). I want to get the layers out of it, but the longest of it is just now at shoulder length. I'm trying to get to the point where the shortest layer is APL before I cut the layers out (it's just gotten past the tops of my ears, so progress is being made, but it will be some time yet).

Apparently I've arrived at "abnormal" -- My first clue was my nephew looking at me weird and asking "What's with the girl haircut?" :rolleyes: He's 5, I wrote it off.

Last night at walmart, a group of teenage boys decided to harass me about it too. "Hey, my friend wants your number." with lots of snickers.

Granted, I don't get many negative comments on a regular basis. That being said, how you men with long hair deal with the negative comments and crap from the closed minded in the general population?

I will say in the 13 months since I've started this those are the only two comments. I just want to be better equipped to deal with them and wanted to feel out if anyone else has run into much of this day-to-day, or just the occasional jerk.

Thanks!

Teao_the_cat
May 28th, 2012, 05:39 AM
I think there will always be people who hold the 'female= long hair, male= short hair' stereotypes, which is such a shame- lots of girls have short hair which looks good, and assumptions are made about their sexuality, and the same for men with long hair.

There are lots of people who think long hair on men is amazing though- I would love to 'swap' hair with my OH, because his is so beautiful. Male longhairs seem to be becoming a little more accepted... shaggy surfery sort of styles seem popular now, so hopefully people will learn to accept actual long hair.

I'm sure your hair is, and will be, beautiful, and I won't be the only one to think so!

barely.there
May 28th, 2012, 07:30 AM
The longer your hair gets, the more "epic" it gets...so the comments may slow down.

My husband always keeps his APL (used to be mid-back) length hair in a ponytail or a single braid. I love his hair. He's had a few...accidental comments, "excuse me mam".

Dress for success. Dress classy, keep your hair neat and tidy. The last year we've been giving my husband more style with the aid of this site: http://artofmanliness.com/
We've been able to easily work in his long hair with the new style of dressing. This way, you are so incredibly manly that no one can snicker :D Putting all other losers to shaaaammmmeeeee.

There are many visual examples of manly men with long hair. Just look for them on google!

Cheers.

jadelouise
May 28th, 2012, 07:37 AM
the longer the hair; the hotter the man.

i'm sure i'm not the only girl who thinks this
:P x

maborosi
May 28th, 2012, 11:14 AM
Yeah I don't really get why people still harbor negative feelings about men with long hair...I mean, it's 2012.

I haven't really met very many men IRL with long hair, but I think part of that is because a lot of people don't like to keep long hair here when it gets so hot.

~maborosi~

RobieFlakes
May 28th, 2012, 12:18 PM
My guy friend had long hair I was so jealous until he cut it, but he is happier with short hair because he says girls prefer it. I agree with him but I will definitely make exceptions (cough, Fabio)

Dovetail
May 28th, 2012, 01:05 PM
My husband had hair longer then mine when I met him *oogly eyes* Now, myself I like longer hair on guys, but he never really had too many people make fun of him for it, but he did have a lot of problems trying to find jobs. Usually if someone gave him to much trouble for it job wise he'd just let them know he donates it to locks of love (which is true <3)

I don't think many guys gave him too much trouble since he has the hippie California surfer vibe, so I think they all expected it of him.

He did have quite a few girls marvel over it, and want to touch and and find out how he got it so thick and so on, it was too funny to see their faces when he said he hardly shampooed it, and only brushed it when he was going somewhere.

I can't help much personally, since I'm a girl :3 but I think as it gets past the awkward stages guys will let up. I think the best thing to do would be to just ignore it, but maybe it's different for guys. Either way I hope you get better advice! I'll ask my husband when he gets up.

Strelitzia
May 28th, 2012, 01:06 PM
I don't know why people feel they can comment on other people's hair in such rude ways!!
And anyway, for centuries most men had awesome long hair! :D It's not like it's never been done before.
Admittedly I prefer a guy with short hair BUT all the men I've met with long hair are the nicest, kindest guys ever! Plus all their hair is so much thicker and longer and more beautiful than mine, I have hair jealousy :o:D
Don't listen to those people - it's your hair, grow away! :)

GabrielleRose
May 28th, 2012, 02:07 PM
My husband had hair longer then mine when I met him *oogly eyes* Now, myself I like longer hair on guys, but he never really had too many people make fun of him for it, but he did have a lot of problems trying to find jobs. Usually if someone gave him to much trouble for it job wise he'd just let them know he donates it to locks of love (which is true <3)

I don't think many guys gave him too much trouble since he has the hippie California surfer vibe, so I think they all expected it of him.

He did have quite a few girls marvel over it, and want to touch and and find out how he got it so thick and so on, it was too funny to see their faces when he said he hardly shampooed it, and only brushed it when he was going somewhere.

I can't help much personally, since I'm a girl :3 but I think as it gets past the awkward stages guys will let up. I think the best thing to do would be to just ignore it, but maybe it's different for guys. Either way I hope you get better advice! I'll ask my husband when he gets up.

Your boyfriend sounds just like mine, lol! My boyfriend used to have about waist length hair but its short as of now due to him doing a huge chop in September of last year. Still looks sexy to me lol!

But yes he reminds me of your boyfriend, because everyone would ask him the same thing. He would only brush sometimes, hardly wash it and just didn't care what product he was using as long as it didn't dry out his hair.

GabrielleRose
May 28th, 2012, 02:10 PM
Been growing out my hair for 13 months (to the day). I want to get the layers out of it, but the longest of it is just now at shoulder length. I'm trying to get to the point where the shortest layer is APL before I cut the layers out (it's just gotten past the tops of my ears, so progress is being made, but it will be some time yet).

Apparently I've arrived at "abnormal" -- My first clue was my nephew looking at me weird and asking "What's with the girl haircut?" :rolleyes: He's 5, I wrote it off.

Last night at walmart, a group of teenage boys decided to harass me about it too. "Hey, my friend wants your number." with lots of snickers.

Granted, I don't get many negative comments on a regular basis. That being said, how you men with long hair deal with the negative comments and crap from the closed minded in the general population?

I will say in the 13 months since I've started this those are the only two comments. I just want to be better equipped to deal with them and wanted to feel out if anyone else has run into much of this day-to-day, or just the occasional jerk.

Thanks!

I'm sorry you're getting negative comments on your hair, just ignore them. Because I totally agree with barely.there and jadelouise. ;)

Dovetail
May 28th, 2012, 02:37 PM
Well, I asked my husband and he said "I didn't really have anyone say anything, because usually if you say something to a guy with long hair, about his long hair, he'd most likely punch you in the face. And in California there are a lot of long haired hippies, and dread-heads. I guess if he's really skinny then there isn't much he'd be able to do abou it"

I donno. I hope it helps some how, as it's a guys perspective. I suppose he just means if they don't like it, they can kick rocks. <3 so don't let their jealousy get to you!

I'm kind of interested for other guys to weigh in. I know we have a few hiding around here...

ladylowtide
May 28th, 2012, 02:53 PM
My fiancee has thick hair several inches below APL. Which is quite long on him seeing as he is 6'2" tall.

He works in restaurant as a server and not once has anyone commented upon his hair. When we are out in public he almost always has it tied back. He is pretty low maintenance guy. But he does try to keep well groomed, and wear slightly nicer things than he would if he had more "socially acceptable hair." I think that if you carry yourself in way that shows that your choice of long hair is a deliberate one, but as opposed to the result of years of neglect, than people don't care after a certain point.

I think also that confidence is key with having long hair as a man. And if you don't have it. Fake it till its real. lol

Saeth
May 28th, 2012, 02:54 PM
I can't speak personally, but I have a 24yr old brother who has very thick shoulder length hair. I'm in southern England. His experience hasn't been very good, he's had terrible looks, jeers and rude comments, sometimes even people hanging out of their car windows to stare at him. He is thinking about having it short, and one reason is to feel like he can walk out in public without feeling threatened. Over here a lot of people seem to think long hair = gay and being gay can get you into serious, if not outright, dangerous trouble here.

It is a common stereotype that I feel is more often there than not. It's sad really, and pathetic.

Arashi
May 28th, 2012, 03:18 PM
Hang in there! I may be wrong, but it seems to me that on men, once it gets really long the general reaction to it moves from the narrow-minded "long hair is girly!" to it seeming bad***.

HumanBean
May 28th, 2012, 04:06 PM
My 8 year old wanting to grow his hair out is what brought me to this site 8 months ago. His longest lengths are past his shoulders now.

He does get comments. We had friends over for brunch this morning, and one of the boys his age said, "I bet people think you are a girl sometimes." But it was matter of fact, not teasing. And it's true that it does happen.

But he has a first name that can be female (with different spelling), and it's not long enough yet to tie back. Plus he has those beautiful thick eyelashes some boys have, so if he is dressed pretty generically I totally see how others could make the error.

My son overall seems unphased by the comments. It helps that we live in California and by the coast, and lots of boys at his school do have long hair. We've told him he can change his mind at any time, but he seems pretty sure of his goal right now.

ETA: I also think seeing longer heads of hair on men in the media is influencing him, like Thor in The Avengers this summer.

EdG
May 28th, 2012, 04:35 PM
Welcome to LHC, hendrickx.

At 13 months growth, you are in right in the middle of the awkward stage. You likely look like someone who is growing out his hair, but doesn't yet have long hair. People's perceptions will change once your hair becomes long enough that it is clear that you have had long hair for many years. :)

I'm also guessing that you are young and tend to attract the attention of young and, frankly, immature people. That too will change as you grow older.
Ed

Tisiloves
May 28th, 2012, 05:17 PM
Hang in there, it's the awkward stage for a reason. Soon you'll transition from "grunger/skater" to "viking", and whilst people will still be stupid it should taper off.

Long_hair_bear
May 28th, 2012, 05:28 PM
Men with long hair are hott. My hubby is growing his out because I think this. Just ignore the naysayers; it's none of their business how you wear your hair.

Mesmerise
May 28th, 2012, 05:36 PM
To be honest, I don't think anything of it when I see a guy with long hair! It's not necessarily all THAT common here, but it certainly isn't uncommon. I think maybe it depends a lot on where you live and the sort of people you're associating with on a day to day basis. If you live in an area where it's not uncommon for guys to have long hair, you're probably going to attract less attention.

However, as others have said it may just be that you're in the "in between" stage which may look more like "uncut short hair" than "long hair to be" if that makes sense! I imagine that once it gets past a certain length it will be more deliberate AND people you know will be used to it, and you won't elicit the negative comments you're getting now.

Mesmerise
May 28th, 2012, 05:42 PM
My 8 year old wanting to grow his hair out is what brought me to this site 8 months ago. His longest lengths are past his shoulders now.

He does get comments. We had friends over for brunch this morning, and one of the boys his age said, "I bet people think you are a girl sometimes." But it was matter of fact, not teasing. And it's true that it does happen.

But he has a first name that can be female (with different spelling), and it's not long enough yet to tie back. Plus he has those beautiful think eyelashes some boys have, so if he is dressed pretty generically I totally see how others could make the error.

My son overall seems unphased by the comments. It helps that we live in California and by the coast, and lots of boys at his school do have long hair. We've told him he can change his mind at any time, but he seems pretty sure of his goal right now.

ETA: I also think seeing longer heads of hair on men in the media is influencing him, like Thor in The Avengers this summer.

This reminds me of a little boy who used to go to my kids' school! The first few times I saw him I really DID think he was a girl! His hair was waist length blonde hair which is very uncommon in little boys around here! Even looking at him from the front he looked like a girl (I guess at that age genders aren't as differentiated and a short haired girl can appear to be a boy and a long haired boy can appear to be a girl, particularly if they're wearing gender neutral clothing... ). As the kids wear a school uniform (all schools have one here!!) and it's generally fairly gender neutral (although girls can wear dresses/skirts if they choose), it was...well... really easy to think he was a girl!!

Still living in an area where lots of boys have long hair will probably make it easier for your son ;) and as he grows up he'll start to develop more masculine features and it'll be less likely that people think he's a girl. However, it's awesome that he just doesn't care anyway!! Too many kids are swayed by what others think, and it's lovely when they feel they can feel free to be themselves ;).

terpentyna
May 28th, 2012, 05:48 PM
Yeah, you can just mention that if hair length is the way someone determines gender, then that person needs to find more criteria, because they may become seriously disappointed at some point. :)

My preference is that hair on a guy should be at least "pullable" in length. Healthy and well kept long/longish hair on a guy is hot.

Beatnik Guy
May 28th, 2012, 05:52 PM
Ed is correct in all respects, :cool:


Welcome to LHC, hendrickx.

At 13 months growth, you are in right in the middle of the awkward stage. You likely look like someone who is growing out his hair, but doesn't yet have long hair. People's perceptions will change once your hair becomes long enough that it is clear that you have had long hair for many years. :)

I'm also guessing that you are young and tend to attract the attention of young and, frankly, immature people. That too will change as you grow older.
Ed

Amapola
May 28th, 2012, 07:29 PM
Where I live there are a lot of Native Americans, and lots of the men wear their hair long, especially if they are traditional. In addition there are lots of Anglos that wear their hair long, usually in a pony tail.

Anyway, you asked what to say. This might not work for you, but this is what one guy said. There was this one Native American guy who had waist-length hair. He was also very tall. He had a business appointment in the city, so he went to the high-rise building and got in the elevator... along with a bunch of short-haired white guys in suits. The elevator started going up. They were all staring at the Native American, so in his best dead-pan voice, he said, "It is a good day to die."

All the white guys got off on the next floor. :D

caadam
May 28th, 2012, 07:41 PM
The only time I thought a guy with long hair was a girl was when this mother came in wither her son while I was working at a shoe store. The son was probably eight years old, and his hair was past his shoulders. I was like, "What kind of shoes would she like to wear?"

The mother says, "Yeah... he's a boy."

I turned SO red, but they both laughed it off and said that it happens all the time. They could tell I wasn't trying to be mean, and they ended up being very entertaining during their visit to the store. lol

But when it comes to my thoughts on men and young men alike that decide to grow their hair out long, I don't find it confusing or strange. The audacity of some people is unreal, especially when most of those same people are talking about wanting an accepting and tolerant society. Way to make double standards...

I want the same kind of society, but that means being open-minded, even when you're faced with something that you just naturally find different. You have to approach it curiously and respectfully because you're dealing with real people who have feelings and thoughts about their own life choices. If you disrespect those, then how does that make you a better person? It doesn't, and it makes the offended person less likely to listen to what you have to say. Those are my thoughts on it.

There are so many different cultures within the states that it's hard to know what people find socially accepting at all times. There are still plenty of young men and even more older men who don't find it acceptable to have long hair, but those same men need to be aware that not every culture is like theirs, and they need to respect that.

But the reality is that, as a whole, men with long hair is just another part of today's fashion. It might not be popular fashion, but it is a fashion choice, and it's a personal choice. People who have a problem with that need to learn to leave it the heck alone and mind their own business. lol

I like men with long hair. I find it handsome, especially when the man takes care of his hair to keep it nice and touchable. I also LOOOOVE dreadlocks. lol

moeZy
May 28th, 2012, 08:12 PM
Where I live there are a lot of Native Americans, and lots of the men wear their hair long, especially if they are traditional. In addition there are lots of Anglos that wear their hair long, usually in a pony tail.

Anyway, you asked what to say. This might not work for you, but this is what one guy said. There was this one Native American guy who had waist-length hair. He was also very tall. He had a business appointment in the city, so he went to the high-rise building and got in the elevator... along with a bunch of short-haired white guys in suits. The elevator started going up. They were all staring at the Native American, so in his best dead-pan voice, he said, "It is a good day to die."

All the white guys got off on the next floor. :D
Great story!
I think it is so sad that people can be so rude and insensitive! People who make those kinds of comments and judgements are acting out of deeply ingrained societal constructs which are simply ********. I applaud anyone who does whatever makes them happy, given they harm no one in the process.
As others have mentioned, it is a phase your hair will grow out of and until then, learn to ignore the comments or say something like "thank you for noticing!" or something. Turn it into something positive and totally deflate the response they are looking for when they are putting down another person. Keep your thoughts about yourself positive as well, this will prevent other's nastiness from affecting you.
It is so weird to me that people thing long hair=gay. In my experience, that is just not the case. Of course, who cares if it is the case anyway but I'm just saying that it further sheds light on their ignorance and fear of things outside of their small minded comfort zones.

caadam
May 28th, 2012, 08:20 PM
Where I live there are a lot of Native Americans, and lots of the men wear their hair long, especially if they are traditional. In addition there are lots of Anglos that wear their hair long, usually in a pony tail.

Anyway, you asked what to say. This might not work for you, but this is what one guy said. There was this one Native American guy who had waist-length hair. He was also very tall. He had a business appointment in the city, so he went to the high-rise building and got in the elevator... along with a bunch of short-haired white guys in suits. The elevator started going up. They were all staring at the Native American, so in his best dead-pan voice, he said, "It is a good day to die."

All the white guys got off on the next floor. :D

YESSSSS. LOLOLOL

I would've proposed a warcry! And then ask to give him a hug for being so awesome. :rollin:

trolleypup
May 29th, 2012, 12:05 AM
I've been so long away from barbarians (I grew up in the Deep South, and for being different (not just hair) I got dogs set on me, harassed verbally and physically, etc.)...and my hair has been long for decades and I've been out here for all that time, so the negative comments are vanishingly rare. In these sorts of situations, I prefer to end it quickly and permanently...and preferably in a way that they will think twice about making similar comments in the future. Hit 'em with a verbal baseball bat and move on. Save the nice/polite/thoughtfull comments for the young women who want to play with it.

bte
May 29th, 2012, 05:22 AM
I agree with Beatnik Guy and Trolleypup - and indeed all the others who have responded. I, too, have been there, although the negative comments of any kind have only been a very few.

It is worst at the awkward stage, when it isn't yet obvious that you are serious about growing your hair.Once it gets to about apl, or long enough for a ponytail, it is clear that you haven't just forgotten to go to the barber, and the silliness gets less and less.

Just enjoy the journey.

mrs_coffee
May 29th, 2012, 06:34 AM
My 14yo son's hair is a little longer than APL. His hair is dirty blonde and very shiny and healthy looking. He doesn't get picked on at all, probably because he's just over 6 feet tall and around 190 pounds and absolutely towers over other boys his age, but he has been mistaken for a girl on a few occasions. He just laughs it off and usually remarks how weird it is that people's idea of gender norms are so narrow.

Glenn
May 29th, 2012, 06:49 AM
I'd had a few comments when it was growing out, but mostly from women who come up to me and touch it and tell me how jealous they are. I mean, who touches someone else's hair? That's kind of a freaky thing. I keep mine about tailbone length (about 40" for me), mostly in a pony tail.

Anyway, I'm a part-time college instructor and no one has ever said much about it - not even students, but I wonder if it depends on other features. I have a full beard, for example, I'm 6'2" and of fairly large build, and I always wear a suit to work. I think there might be an intimidation factor (clothing, beard, size), but I wouldn't know otherwise. I really don't get any trouble about it.

If you want to grow you hair, just don't listen to the jerks... basically. It's your hair; it's your body.

UpNorth
May 29th, 2012, 07:18 AM
Haha, most of my guy friends have long hair. When someone cut it off they joke about this certain person being "gay" (no offense, its just jokes and pretty ironic in this case)

My friends are metalheads (gee, I hate that word), and metal means long hair, period :D

Glenn
May 29th, 2012, 07:24 AM
Haha, most of my guy friends have long hair. When someone cut it off they joke about this certain person being "gay" (no offense, its just jokes and pretty ironic in this case)

My friends are metalheads (gee, I hate that word), and metal means long hair, period :D

By metalheads, I'm assuming acid rock type of musicians? Here in the U.S. long hair has virtually always been associated with the hippies or with rock music. The acid rockers here are usually wearing what we would call punk style cut, or something very short, but that's just where our culture is at, I think, unless I just don't get enough exposure. :)

caadam
May 29th, 2012, 07:31 AM
I'd had a few comments when it was growing out, but mostly from women who come up to me and touch it and tell me how jealous they are. I mean, who touches someone else's hair? That's kind of a freaky thing. I keep mine about tailbone length (about 40" for me), mostly in a pony tail.

Anyway, I'm a part-time college instructor and no one has ever said much about it - not even students, but I wonder if it depends on other features. I have a full beard, for example, I'm 6'2" and of fairly large build, and I always wear a suit to work. I think there might be an intimidation factor (clothing, beard, size), but I wouldn't know otherwise. I really don't get any trouble about it.

If you want to grow you hair, just don't listen to the jerks... basically. It's your hair; it's your body.

When I came to the LHC, I started to become VERY protective of my hair. I've a few instances where people have touched my hair because they're really curious and "amazed" by it. lol Usually because my hair is thick and I'll braid it, thus the braid is thick, and some people are very fascinated by it, haha.

But the touching thing would bother the HECK out of me. I don't know where these people's hands have been... they could've just eaten something and were licking their fingers, or maybe they "forgot" to wash their hands after going to the toilet, or maybe they were smoking and now have cigarette residue on their fingers... I don't know! So I started to tell those people, "Hey hey. Do not touch my hair without my permission. Go wash your hands or don't don't touch my hair at all. Not trying to be mean, but I have no idea where your hands have been."

People usually will back off. Sometimes they'll be sincerely sorry and get embarrassed, but I've noticed that most of the time, they just get an attitude, as though you telling them to not invade your physical space is uncalled for. lol Well, that and they don't like to be told they did something socially inappropriate. ;) But that's their issue, not mine.

Anyway, hijack over. :cheese:

Vanille_
May 29th, 2012, 07:40 AM
I hope you get some witty replies in this thread (I haven't read it yet). I think it's sad that you guys have to deal with it.

Recently I left my hair down and some guy made (what to me) was a rude comment. Thinking back on it, I think he really just wanted to say something to me and didn't know what to say. But he said, "Hey wanna meet my barber?" :(

Glenn
May 29th, 2012, 07:56 AM
When I came to the LHC, I started to become VERY protective of my hair. I've a few instances where people have touched my hair because they're really curious and "amazed" by it. lol Usually because my hair is thick and I'll braid it, thus the braid is thick, and some people are very fascinated by it, haha.

But the touching thing would bother the HECK out of me. I don't know where these people's hands have been... they could've just eaten something and were licking their fingers, or maybe they "forgot" to wash their hands after going to the toilet, or maybe they were smoking and now have cigarette residue on their fingers... I don't know! So I started to tell those people, "Hey hey. Do not touch my hair without my permission. Go wash your hands or don't don't touch my hair at all. Not trying to be mean, but I have no idea where your hands have been."

People usually will back off. Sometimes they'll be sincerely sorry and get embarrassed, but I've noticed that most of the time, they just get an attitude, as though you telling them to not invade your physical space is uncalled for. lol Well, that and they don't like to be told they did something socially inappropriate. ;) But that's their issue, not mine.

Anyway, hijack over. :cheese:

Yeah, there are just some strange people out there. It doesn't happen very often anymore (maybe around drunk people, for example, which I'm very rarely around, anyway). That's kind of why I was wondering about the size issue from the hendrickx (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/member.php?u=42175), the original poster. I'm not the biggest guy in the world, but I won't just walk up to anyone my size and start messing with their hair.

fridgee
May 29th, 2012, 08:03 AM
I can't speak personally, but I have a 24yr old brother who has very thick shoulder length hair. I'm in southern England. His experience hasn't been very good, he's had terrible looks, jeers and rude comments, sometimes even people hanging out of their car windows to stare at him. He is thinking about having it short, and one reason is to feel like he can walk out in public without feeling threatened. Over here a lot of people seem to think long hair = gay and being gay can get you into serious, if not outright, dangerous trouble here.

It is a common stereotype that I feel is more often there than not. It's sad really, and pathetic.

I live in southern England too and I must say that is not my experience in terms of intolerance to homosexuality or in terms of attitudes to long hair. I know several men with long hair, although admittedly in jobs where appointment is not influenced by appearance, e.g. bikers and university lecturers. Quite frankly no one is about to question the bikers sexuality (even tho they are really massive softies underneath!) and I'm pretty sure the students don't care if the lecturer is gay or not, etc. It also happens that none of the gay men I've ever know have had long hair!

Unfortunately, people who are inclined to insensitivity or, even cruelty, will pick whatever your most distinctive feature is and use it to put you down and amuse themselves. You best bet is to never give them the reaction they seek, either by meeting nasty comments with kindness or letting them wash past you. Hopefully you will find what the other gents on here found that it gets better once it looks intentionally long. Good luck with your growing, and even if the world is being mean LHC knows how to cheer up hairy people everywhere! :D

caadam
May 29th, 2012, 08:05 AM
Guy: Hey, my friend wants your number. lawl *thinks he's clever*

You: Oh, your friend thinks I'm hot? Sorry, but I'm not interested. Tell him thanks for the compliment, though!

Guy: DUDE, THAT'S NOT... adslkfjaljfldk

You: *walking away all happily*secretly pleased and cackling evilly in head*

There. Most guys like that hate it when you turn around and act like you don't get that they're trying to give you a hard time. lol Especially when you turn it on them. ;) They'll think twice the next time they try and pull that on someone else.

Changling
May 29th, 2012, 08:14 AM
People are d**ks. There isn't really anything you can do about it. :shrug: I guess you could point out how much of a d**k they're being, but some people are proud of it, because they are d**ks. Those kind of people will never accept anyone who isn't also a d**k. So who wants their approval?

You can't make them better people, they don't want to be better people. In my opinion, they don't really deserve a place in society...other than maybe pumping gas. Just remember that's likely what they'll end up doing their whole lives.

Saeth
May 29th, 2012, 01:57 PM
I live in southern England too and I must say that is not my experience in terms of intolerance to homosexuality or in terms of attitudes to long hair. I know several men with long hair, although admittedly in jobs where appointment is not influenced by appearance, e.g. bikers and university lecturers. Quite frankly no one is about to question the bikers sexuality (even tho they are really massive softies underneath!) and I'm pretty sure the students don't care if the lecturer is gay or not, etc. It also happens that none of the gay men I've ever know have had long hair!

Unfortunately, people who are inclined to insensitivity or, even cruelty, will pick whatever your most distinctive feature is and use it to put you down and amuse themselves. You best bet is to never give them the reaction they seek, either by meeting nasty comments with kindness or letting them wash past you. Hopefully you will find what the other gents on here found that it gets better once it looks intentionally long. Good luck with your growing, and even if the world is being mean LHC knows how to cheer up hairy people everywhere! :D

Southern England is a big place :P The rural area I live in is infamous for bad attitude people, sadly. I suspect this has a large part to do with it. But I'm also of the belief that being a gay man is still far less acceptable than being a gay woman (of which I am). My brother and I have joked a few times when he's had looks about the fact some probably think he's gay when he's the straight one out of us too lol. And yes LHC sure does know how to perk up a wilted soul :D

Bene
May 29th, 2012, 02:11 PM
Someone calling you a girl is negative? :shrug:


Say thanks and keep it moving.

Paladin
May 29th, 2012, 02:38 PM
Hmmmm...

Nobody ever bothers me about it... then again, a 230 lbs muscular physique on a 6 foot frame might have the effect of discouraging people from opening their mouths LOL. :D

BlazingHeart
May 29th, 2012, 03:25 PM
By metalheads, I'm assuming acid rock type of musicians? Here in the U.S. long hair has virtually always been associated with the hippies or with rock music. The acid rockers here are usually wearing what we would call punk style cut, or something very short, but that's just where our culture is at, I think, unless I just don't get enough exposure. :)

Em, that's gotta be a regional thing, Glenn. I've lived in Cali and PA, and the metalheads I've known and seen have included a very large proportion of longhairs, male and female.

OP, you can always turn this one back on jerks like that. Turn, give the 'friend' an up-and-down look, and with a bit of distaste say, "He's not my type. Sorry." Like someone in a club who's being asked for their number by someone they find downright repulsive.

Caadam's suggestion is a good one, too.

~Blaze

shutterpillar
May 29th, 2012, 03:45 PM
It's a shame how close-minded a lot of people can be about ALL different kinds of hair styles, sported by both males and females.

I hope I live to see the day where people are accepted for who they are and what they deem to be attractive and acceptable for themselves rather than what society thinks.

Keep on growing, dude. If you like it and you feel good with longer hair, then that is all that really matters.

LaFlor
May 29th, 2012, 03:50 PM
This thread brings to mind Johnny Depp! He pretty much always has long hair and was still voted the sexiest man alive more than once... so it can't be that unmanly. He even did the man braid in the movie Chocolat and couldn't have been more attractive!

KwaveT
May 29th, 2012, 07:52 PM
Someone calling you a girl is negative? :shrug:


Say thanks and keep it moving.

Keep in mind the topic starter said the girl comment was from a five year old. I don't think you can be too hard on a five year old. If that come from somebody older I would be having fun with it. "Oh I look that good oh why thank you." I am much different than most men. I spent much of my life wishing I were a girl. So girl and sissy mantra stuff don't even phase me. I think men get caught up in the girls/women is inferior to boys/men thing. Ego plays a big role in this kind of thinking. Men are doing the ultimate in stooping to do anything that can even be remotely girly. Many just think long hair is girly/feminine.

clanless
May 29th, 2012, 08:54 PM
Metalheads are always cool

Yozhik
May 29th, 2012, 09:04 PM
My boyfriend has had SL-APL hair before we were dating and while we have been dating, although it's shorter now. I was consistently surprised by how differently people would interact with him when he had longer hair!

He did, unfortunately, get rude comments about being a girl or being gay, but luckily he is not the sort of person to take that kind of stuff seriously. I'll also agree with everyone else about how getting over the awkward stage is crucial. Once DBF's hair got to be SL+, it was much clearer that it was a purposeful haircut, and a really great one, too (as he has wonderful hair :crush:).

hendrickx
May 29th, 2012, 09:09 PM
the longer the hair; the hotter the man.



My husband had hair longer then mine when I met him *oogly eyes*


Men with long hair are hott.


My preference is that hair on a guy should be at least "pullable" in length. Healthy and well kept long/longish hair on a guy is hot.


Hang in there, it's the awkward stage for a reason. Soon you'll transition from "grunger/skater" to "viking", and whilst people will still be stupid it should taper off.

^^ These? <3 -- Exactly why I got started.




Anyway, you asked what to say. This might not work for you, but this is what one guy said. There was this one Native American guy who had waist-length hair. He was also very tall. He had a business appointment in the city, so he went to the high-rise building and got in the elevator... along with a bunch of short-haired white guys in suits. The elevator started going up. They were all staring at the Native American, so in his best dead-pan voice, he said, "It is a good day to die."

All the white guys got off on the next floor. :D

Sounds very Klingon. I love it.


Someone calling you a girl is negative? :shrug:


Not when I'm not expecting it. I get horrific dry skin on my legs, so I tend to shave (as to not end up with rashy bare spots) -- If I had recently done so and had my kilt on, totally understandable. As it was, grungy T and jeans... (shrug) I guess I was just in a bad mood to start with -- needing a Walmart run at 11:00 PM will do that.

Thanks for all the support. Gotta love LHC.

hendrickx
May 29th, 2012, 09:11 PM
Whoops -- The Viking comment -- I totally need to helmet with the horns on it to plop on. Then no one would bother my in public.

Nedertane
May 29th, 2012, 09:32 PM
hendrickx, I don't know if you have a Tumblr account, but if you take a look through any of the "metal" tags, you'll know how much your hair is/will be appreciated (hope I'm not setting off too many creep factors here :eyebrows: :p).

Victorious
May 29th, 2012, 10:39 PM
Thanks for reminding me that I need to compliment men who have long hair. Just ignore the immature ignorants and hold your head high. I wish I could offer you more. Oh! Look at the
Navajo men who are proud to wear their hair long. There are always going to be people who try to put you down, if not for one reason, than for another. You have to remember that they will insult and ridicule because of their own insecurities. The stronger you appear to them the more they feel their own weaknesses. Notice that they never make rude comments when they are alone. Then, know that many of them are wishing they had your strength. The strength to follow their hearts to fulfill their true purpose during this brief life we are given. Sorry this was so long. Hope it helped.

Victorious
May 29th, 2012, 10:51 PM
Thanks for reminding me that I need to compliment guys who have long hair. Ignore the few immature ignorants who would never say anything if they were by themselves.

drquartz1970
May 29th, 2012, 11:51 PM
" Over here a lot of people seem to think long hair = gay and being gay can get you into serious, if not outright, dangerous trouble here."

Cannot understand how on earth that long hair on men is associated with homosexality as it is often the complete opposite.

Actually the truth of the matter is that men with long hair are a LOT LESS likely to be gay then shorted haired guys. Chavs actually have what i would call gay haircuts as the large majority of gays actually wear super-short hair. I don't ever recall knowing a homosexual man with long hair.

hendrickx
May 30th, 2012, 04:45 AM
Yeah, there are just some strange people out there. It doesn't happen very often anymore (maybe around drunk people, for example, which I'm very rarely around, anyway). That's kind of why I was wondering about the size issue from the hendrickx (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/member.php?u=42175), the original poster. I'm not the biggest guy in the world, but I won't just walk up to anyone my size and start messing with their hair.

I'm not a big guy, 5'10", 164ish pounds. I'm not very muscular.

hendrickx
May 30th, 2012, 04:49 AM
Keep in mind the topic starter said the girl comment was from a five year old. I don't think you can be too hard on a five year old. If that come from somebody older I would be having fun with it. "Oh I look that good oh why thank you." I am much different than most men. I spent much of my life wishing I were a girl. So girl and sissy mantra stuff don't even phase me. I think men get caught up in the girls/women is inferior to boys/men thing. Ego plays a big role in this kind of thinking. Men are doing the ultimate in stooping to do anything that can even be remotely girly. Many just think long hair is girly/feminine.

Yeah, that one didn't bother me at all, while coming from teens really did. Kind of funny when I look back on it.

I laughed at the five year old, whipped out a hair tie and put it in a high ponytail and asked him if that was better. He said no, so I apologized and took it back out. We left it at that.

Changling
May 30th, 2012, 05:00 AM
Where I live there are a lot of Native Americans, and lots of the men wear their hair long, especially if they are traditional. In addition there are lots of Anglos that wear their hair long, usually in a pony tail.

Anyway, you asked what to say. This might not work for you, but this is what one guy said. There was this one Native American guy who had waist-length hair. He was also very tall. He had a business appointment in the city, so he went to the high-rise building and got in the elevator... along with a bunch of short-haired white guys in suits. The elevator started going up. They were all staring at the Native American, so in his best dead-pan voice, he said, "It is a good day to die."

All the white guys got off on the next floor. :D

omg, this story, I love it. I'm going to tell it to everyone. Twice.

Long_hair_bear
May 30th, 2012, 06:19 AM
Whoops -- The Viking comment -- I totally need to helmet with the horns on it to plop on. Then no one would bother my in public.


I'd find that very cool! But ya, look at all the lord of the rings men. They all had long hair and were all very fine specimens (except thoeden, gandalf, denethor, and wormtounge, but thoeden was cool as a chivalrous old guy, gandalf is just adorable, and denethor and wormtounge were just ugly SOBs) I love when a guy looks like he stepped out of fantasy or history! Much more pleasant to look at!