Unwanted dreads/help with DH's hair!

[Katze]

So my DH has the most gorgeous old-gold colored, mostly fine, thick, wurly hair. He basically neglects it, wears the same ponytail every day, and it grows like a weed with no sign of thinning even though he will be 41 in September. His hair is really lovely, much prettier and healthier looking than mine, and he is getting vain about it, which is cute.

However, he also has a whirl/cowlick on one side at the back, and lazy habits that cause it to dread within a day of combing, especially at the cowlick spot. :(

He doesn't want dreads, they don't go with his style, but he hates combing them. His hair has been better (less splits, less taper) since he has been using leave-ins and (he claims, I have yet to see this) he has been CO washing. However, he is lazy and does not comb every day, he says he can't be bothered (spends a lot of time caring for us, cleaning, grocery shopping etc).

I try to work conditioner into the dreads and finger comb them out while he is leaning against me. Before DD was born we did a lot of SMTs, which helped a lot, but have not found the time.

I hate nagging him and he has stopped listening to me whenever I mention his hair (or sing Bob Marley's 'Buffalo Soldier' at him). :D

Curly girls or guys, any of you have similar problems? How can I help his hair get 'to waist before he goes bald' (he is at about BSL now, if stretched, but has a long, long torso)?

Any other tips? Thanks!

[mzBANGBANG]

The only tip I can give as a straight hair is maybe to convince him to braid his hair more often. There are plenty of masculine braids he could wear, if he doesn't want to wear them out he could always wear them to bed and that could make a difference.

I keep my hair from knotting by applying a serum to it, however I'm not sure how well that would work for a wurly.

His hair sounds amazing!

[Charybdis]

Katze, this sounds like my husband! He has thick curly hair too, only brown and medium rather than blond and fine. My DH keeps it long specifically because it means he can put it in a ponytail -- he hates hair getting in his face and he doesn't like going to a barber regularly to get it cut. Also, when he keeps his hair short, he looks like an Irish hitman in his ID photographs. :lol: Seriously, if you look at his official IDs from a decade ago, he looks positively alarming, even though he doesn't come across that way at all in real life.

Unfortunately, my DH is also someone who would rather write computer programs or read the latest tech news than spend time on grooming tasks, so he tends be a bit lazy about keeping his hair properly detangled, and when he does detangle he's not gentle. I bite my tongue, but IT MAKES ME CRAZY! About once a month I can persuade him to let me properly detangle it, cut out fairy knots, and oil the length. In fact he needs the ends trimmed right now; they're looking a bit ratty due to his rough handling. Oh, husbands....

[spidermom]

My first thought is that it's his hair and if his life-style causes it to get all tangled and dread-y, it's on him. I don't particularly like what my DH does with his hair, either (gets it cut down to less than an inch long; he looks scalped).

My only suggestion for you is to get some spray-on detangler to help when he does get it combed out.

[lacefrost]

I would say, do a couple braids in the area most likely to dread. Even though I'm a hypercurly, I've never really had an issue with my hair starting to dread. How often does he wash and what does he actually do with his hair? I mean, is it always the same ponytail? Cause if so, that's probably the biggest culprit. Maybe you can do a simple english braid for him in the mornings. You say he takes a lot of care of you, it could be a really simple and sweet way for you to care for him that he'll grow to love.

[Schnee]

My hair will seperate into ropes/dreads quickly if I don't detangle after washing or at least every other day (every day is better). There's no qick fix really, or at least I don't know about it. Leave in and/or oiling will help though.

[brave]

Maybe get him a tangle teezer? They come in manly black now. My boyfriend actually likes mine a lot.

[Katze]

I finally figured out that it is the shed hairs that are causing the most trouble. They tangle, especially at his 'whorl' in the back, and mat up within a day.

After a two hour detangling session, I went and bought him some detangling spray targeted at little girls. it even has a princess on it. :D DD thinks this is THE funniest thing, since she has barrettes with the same princess on the packaging (from the same store) and keeps saying, 'why is papa using that? That's for little GIRLS!'

We detangled on Tuesday night and his hair is still looking pretty good, though I think he has not washed it since then and the conditioner (Garnier Fructis) is still in it.

[sumidha]

Hmm, besides keeping on top of the detangling, I would also try braiding just the problem area, and see if it's any better?

[Slug Yoga]

Maybe get him a tangle teezer? They come in manly black now. My boyfriend actually likes mine a lot.

Was gonna say this! Might make detangling faster/less painful, which would make him more likely to do it.

[LaFlor]

I don't have much experience with whurly hair...I have heard from a LOT of people that conditioners like pantene give a lot of slip to hair and most people report a reduction of tangles. Some people also say their hair is less curly with pantene. It's coney, but it might balance out the laziness!

[Kiwiwi]

I'm sorry if I sound a bit harsh but if he doesn't want to detangle then he needs to accept the consequense which is tangles (in his case dreads in some places). I think it's that simple.
Leave in's sure help, using conditioner too. But if his hair is simply stubborn in places he should detangle it.
He can comb in the shower with conditioner in his hair. It'll go easier.
I also suggest the Tangle Teezer.

[lapushka]

Definitely seconding the Tangle Teezer. Those things are amazing for tangles and glide through even the toughest ones.

[Pierre]

I'm a wurly man, so here's my routine. I comb out loose hairs in the shower maybe once a week; the rest of the time I keep my hair in two braids, one at each side, and the braids held up somehow. (I just detangled and haven't braided yet. They're twisted into two buns held with Flexis.) If I find a tangle while in the shower, and it's at the tips of all hairs involved, I cut it off. Once it's braided, I keep it braided for the next few days, not undoing the braid until the next time I comb it in the shower.

[Madora]

I'm sorry if I sound a bit harsh but if he doesn't want to detangle then he needs to accept the consequense which is tangles (in his case dreads in some places). I think it's that simple.
Leave in's sure help, using conditioner too. But if his hair is simply stubborn in places he should detangle it.
He can comb in the shower with conditioner in his hair. It'll go easier.
I also suggest the Tangle Teezer.

Kiwiwi is right on the money. If he doesn't comb his hair everyday, the shed hairs are going to get caught/tangled with his other hair, causing one hell of a tangled mess, not to mention the "dreading" effect.

Better to whisk that TT through his hair, than put up with snarls and dreads. He might also want to consider keeping his hair confined somehow, to keep the snarls at bay.