I have become Hair paranoid and am starting to be very frustrated

[kittengirl]

I need advice on what to do with my hair for a daily style. It is between SL and APL, with my goal length being WL. I currently twist it into a claw clip everyday because I am afraid of wearing it down. I wish I could do a half up but I am scared of letting my ends down. I am trying to find new ways. I can French braid but my layers pop out a bit and again I am afraid of letting the ends down. I want to try some sort of bun with spin pins, but I'm not certain that will work. My hair is rather thick so I can't do a full bun yet. When I take my hair out of its daily claw clip the layers flip up and look horrible. I've had the temptation to go back to pixie, but I know I would regret it since I've tried so hard to get it longer. I know I don't need a trim because I had a good one in January and I S&D nearly everyday and my ends seem pretty thick and healthy. I plan to trim when I get to APL, then at BSl, then maintain at waist to lose all of my layers (including bangs) and grow out some highlight damage. My ultimate goal is all one length virgin WL with a thick blunt hemline. I'm just not patient and I'm losing hope. What can I do with this disaster??:wail:

[nobeltonya]

At that length, you should be fine to leave it down some.. the ends would be more resilient than at longer lengths, and if you're careful with it [it'd be a lot less likely to catch on stuff] you should be ok.. but you could try a magic knot bun w/a stick [videos on youtube]. Or a chinese bun, if it'd wrap enough at that length.

[Aeltt]

I suck at hairstyles, but i can tell you to keep cool. :D

You take care of your hair, it's not going to destroy itself just by leaving it down.
Some people here let their hair down most days and they still have a beautiful long mane, it's not a sin. :)
There's no 'one rule for all', if you don't find hairstyles that suits you at your length, leave it down until it grows. That's it.

[lolot]

im almost bsl and i dont like to have buns all the time, so i wear it also in braids and sometimes loose, and is growing, so enjoy, growing hair doesnt have to be a pain

[katsrevenge]

You can tuck the ends in with a French braid, search you tube.

Me.. I really just wore claw clips everyday when I was that short. It was pretty much all I could do.. other then ponytails.

[nobeltonya]

You take care of your hair, it's not going to destroy itself just by leaving it down.
Some people here let their hair down most days and they still have a beautiful long mane, it's not a sin. :)
Exactly. And the less you pick at it, the better it'll grow. :) I still leave mine down most of the time. Sometimes I'm forced to keep it up for a bit, but only for an hour or 2.. otherwise I get a headache. So don't worry about it so much, and make yourself frustrated. Stress also isn't good for your hair. ;)

[brave]

You might be able to do spin pins. I was able to and I'm only a little longer. I do kind of a fake bun and twist them in. They hold incredibly :)

[Madora]

kittengirl, if you really want long hair, you're going to have to be patient. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither is a healthy head of long hair.

Many of us have been at awkward stages in our hair journey, but we've stuck with it and coped as best we could.

Don't give up! Learn to embrace what you have and investigate other styles.

Here's one you might want to try:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPHEzUr5bWQ

Good luck!

[moxamoll]

Yup, patience, patience, patience. It's the only answer!

If you are looking for protective styles to vary your look, maybe try something like a Gibson tuck (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5JZOVnSjjE&feature=related) or a Gibson roll (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1id5FLbm2s)? The tuck is often easier to achieve with somewhat shorter hair, so don't be freaked out that the girl in the video has such long hair!

For variation and to practice your braiding - you could do braids on either side of your head, then roll the tails and loose hair at the back into a bun. I found that spin pins worked incredibly well when my hair was too short for other fasteners (sticks, forks, etc.)

[Macaroni]

Take a look at this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WB4xiFkwtMY

[kittengirl]

Thank you all for the support and styles. I know I need to be more patient. That has never been my strong suit. I had very long hair as a child but I never thought about it then! I will certainly try some of the styles you suggested.....I bought some spin pins tonight and they are very neat little things. My layers pop out a lot but I think I just need to buy another pack. And wal mart was out of the jumbo so I got small. Maybe I can find something to do with them.

[ravenreed]

I use the small spin pins for half ups and double buns.

[brave]

Thank you all for the support and styles. I know I need to be more patient. That has never been my strong suit. I had very long hair as a child but I never thought about it then! I will certainly try some of the styles you suggested.....I bought some spin pins tonight and they are very neat little things. My layers pop out a lot but I think I just need to buy another pack. And wal mart was out of the jumbo so I got small. Maybe I can find something to do with them.

You definitely should be able to, my mom has hair only brushing her shoulder and was able to make small buns with them. They are wonderful.

[dulce]

My hair is maybe 2 inches past waist and I wear a half up often.If you take good care of your hair overall ,you really don't need to worry about every little thing ,in my opinion.If you have knee length hair ,wearing it loose often may not be practical though.

[Laylah]

I wear my hair down most of the time and it's past tailbone! Don't worry about wearing your hair down. It shouldn't damage much, unless you're constantly getting it stuck in stuff. In my experience wearing down is less damaging than updos because there is less tension and friction on the hair.

[LaurelSpring]

Enjoy your hair. Wear it however makes you feel good and pretty. I use to keep mine up all the time so afraid of damage and split ends. I got a bit obsessive and wasnt enjoying my hair. I recently put in layers so I could wear it down more and not get so many tangles or worry so much about damage and I am loving my hair again. I have more fun with it now. It was at tb but now its back to just above waist with layers and I feel so much more free and unencumbered. I plan on letting the length grow back but this time with some layering so I can love it without worrying so much. Let it be a fun process. Enjoy the journey. Try new styles. Wear it down. Do what makes you happy.

[QMacrocarpa]

Your hair doesn't sound like a disaster at all! :) I'd just try to reduce your hair-anxiety a bit. I wear my hair up most days, but I wear it down maybe once a week, and I never S&D. My hair is split-prone, but my choice is to address the splits with occasional small self-trims (http://feyeselftrim.livejournal.com/) which take much less time, don't make my eyes ache, and don't make me feel obsessed.

Wanting to learn some new styles for variety is perfectly understandable! Here are some shorter-hair-friendly styles I liked:
-- Bun held with a big octopus clip (which I used as a bun cage).
-- Hairagami-type bun (like a sock bun, but I found it simpler to do, until my hair got too long). I've seen Hairagamis for sale at Claire's and there are lots of other versions, like the Qwikbun, EZbun, etc.
-- Braid folded up against the back of my head (http://frannyslonghair.blogspot.com/2010/04/hairstyle-how-to-flipped-braid.html) and held in place with a slide
-- French braid with tail tucked (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSBAqxQCNKk) into pocket underneath hair (spin pins can secure it in place)
-- Cheaters' easy hairstick bun (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myyuEIkHJ9o)
-- Pencil bun (www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0k3dD4qX34), especially stable held with a clip

[heidi w.]

To build on what Madora said about Rome not being built in a day, another saying:

"Brick by brick, my Citizens."

Right now, it's not necessary to be so vigilant about keeping the ends up. Those of us with longer hair, we kind of have to keep it up or there's hair everywhere, always in need of some sort of detangling. We don't keep it up so much as to protect our ends. That's a side benefit of an otherwise practical solution.

On Youtube, there are lots of long hair videos, and you could find all kinds of updo videos. Some fancier than others. Go for simple right now.

My days of wearing clips to hold my hair up lasted a brief amount of time. I found the claw clips really uncomfortable, and my hair would still list to one side or the other, creating all kinds of problems with pulling.

Bobby pins still work for putting hair up. I know most people don't like them, but it does work. And it's good to know how to work with them because you could run out of time trying a new do or a new type of hairpin, and then have to resort to bobby pins just to save time, and get on with your day.

For example, at my length, hair up all the time doesn't prevent the usual taper that occurs for almost everyone. But it does protect what little hair there is at the ends. But I don't put my hair up to protect the ends so much as to just keep the hair out of my way. Otherwise for the past month, it'd be blowing all over the joint, it's been so windy.

You might check out Aloe Vera Gel, which I understand a lot of people use to create hair stickiness. This may help with putting hair up, for a while.

heidi w.

[lapushka]

Me.. I really just wore claw clips everyday when I was that short. It was pretty much all I could do.. other then ponytails.

Same here. I still wear my claw clip (almost) every day, and it's gone past WL now. Just leave it down, or clip it and don't worry about it - it *will* grow.

[buttercupmcgee]

I wear mine down all the time when I'm just sitting at work or at dinner with someone...the only time I think it's paramount to wear it up is in the wind, or when it has the potential to get caught or rub on something--a seat back, a backpack...etc.

You can pull it over your shoulder if your chair has a high back.

There are a lot of ways to mix it up when you wear it down--try some of the no heat curling methods on this site. You can keep your hair interesting and beautiful, and enjoy these short stages for all the bounce and volume they provide--you won't be back here for a while, if ever again!

[spidermom]

Don't be afraid to leave it down. At your length, the ends aren't that old and fragile. They will become more so the longer your hair gets, but at longer lengths, you can do more styles, so it evens out.

My favorite style for your length was the french twist. I had a french twist comb that held really really well. Bobby pins held pretty well, too, although getting them in the right places was kind of hit or miss.

I also wore my hair down when it wasn't too hot or windy. As long as you are taking good care of your hair in other ways, this should not be a problem.

[feb26]

just read an article today stating that loose bits sticking out of braids is "chic"...so don't worry about that. are you using a butterfly clip (straight up & down) or one of the mini claws? I find the mini clips (not the teeny tiny baby-sized ones) perfect for buns.it'll all come together, my hair NEVER looks perfectly smooth when i do an updo. you gotta work with what u got!:D

[kittengirl]

Your hair doesn't sound like a disaster at all! :) I'd just try to reduce your hair-anxiety a bit. I wear my hair up most days, but I wear it down maybe once a week, and I never S&D. My hair is split-prone, but my choice is to address the splits with occasional small self-trims (http://feyeselftrim.livejournal.com/) which take much less time, don't make my eyes ache, and don't make me feel obsessed.

Wanting to learn some new styles for variety is perfectly understandable! Here are some shorter-hair-friendly styles I liked:
-- Bun held with a big octopus clip (which I used as a bun cage).
-- Hairagami-type bun (like a sock bun, but I found it simpler to do, until my hair got too long). I've seen Hairagamis for sale at Claire's and there are lots of other versions, like the Qwikbun, EZbun, etc.
-- Braid folded up against the back of my head (http://frannyslonghair.blogspot.com/2010/04/hairstyle-how-to-flipped-braid.html) and held in place with a slide
-- French braid with tail tucked (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSBAqxQCNKk) into pocket underneath hair (spin pins can secure it in place)
-- Cheaters' easy hairstick bun (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myyuEIkHJ9o)
-- Pencil bun (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0k3dD4qX34), especially stable held with a clip
Those are really good ideas but I have so many weird layers I have issues with some of them. I'm experimenting with sock buns and they work but I hate to use bobby pins....paranoid again....and spin pins do not work to hold the ends in. Maybe if I remove the bobbies gently they will not hurt. I appreciate your advice! :)

[kittengirl]

Thank you all for the great advice....I wish my hair was long enoughfor a braid but the front layers aren't there yet. Once they are I'll probably wear a braid all the time! I'm experimenting with the sock bun and such. I might look into aloe gel but I'm not sure where to get it. Maybe wal-mart?

[SpinDance]

Something to keep in mind is that all hairs on your head grow to their own cycle. That means there are always hairs shedding, resting, growing and just starting their new life. So there will always be some that aren't the same length. Intentional layers make this worse, but it will always be there.

To keep my shorter hairs from popping out all the time I like double braids down the sides of my head. These can be French or Dutch or Lace. I prefer lace because it is only adding to one side, so faster. ;) When you get to the back you can put the 2 braids together and make a single tail, which you can then either leave down, maybe with a pretty ribbon, or tuck up. I love spin pins to hold the tail up when I do this. Here is a pic (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=4465&pictureid=128751)from my album.

Circle lace braids/crown braids are good too. Oh, and I find it easier to braid up not-just-cleaned hair. So wear it down on wash day, then braid it up for the next few days. If it is too windy to wear it loose a snood is another interesting option to forks, sticks, clips, Flexi's and so on.

Long hair is a long term project, so don't be patient, just use the time for learning more skills. ;) And growing your hair toy collection, of course.... (kidding! sort of)