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Tizzles
April 25th, 2012, 03:02 PM
I swear if I knew someone to PM, I'd not make a new thread about this, I'm sorry if a new thread on this subject irritates anyone. I didn't want to hijack other threads.

I've been reading the threads debating about trimming and helping hair growth, and trimming to get rid of damage etc. I am sort of confused. Backstory: I've been letting my hair air dry since January. I think since then I might have used a straight iron 1 time from then til now and the blowdryer twice. Always with heat protectant and with the blowdryer I never let it get hot. I use my fingers to help while blowdrying because I have fine hair (thinning a bit on top) and I figure if the heat doesn't get too hot on my fingers it's not too hot on my hair. (I got that idea from another poster but I can't remember the name) I also use the cool setting a lot on my dryer, never hold it close to my hair and never in the same spot for too long. Also, I have type 2 diabetes, I figure this needs mentioning since I take Metformin(500mg 2x per day) which is known to inhibit the absorption of B-12 vitamins.

I use a sulphate and paraben free shampoo (Moroccan Oil shampoo and conditioner) when I Shampoo my hair and more often than not I will CO with the Moroccan Oil Conditioner. Since the summer time has rolled around my scalp has gotten a bit more oily even just CO'ing so I have to mix it up with a sulphate free shampoo sometimes so my hair just doesn't stick to my head. I said all that, to say this: I've been growing my hair out from an inverted bob since December. I guess the beginning of December was my last big cut to trim, it was also the last time the roots of my highlights (mostly around the face and top of the hair) were done. My hair has not been bleached since December and hasn't been majorly trimmed since then, and I've been doing S&D ever since but I am still seeing a lot of damage on the ends of my hair. I am trying really hard to get my hair back to the way it used to be (long healthy and just below BSL) but it just feels like it is taking absolutely forever and any progress I make I feel just breaks off at the ends no matter what I do.

I am desperate to try anything. I've not even really been styling my hair, I've just been pulling it back with a clip that doesn't pull at my hair and to mix it up a bit so there's not the same amount of stress on the same part of my hair every day, sometimes I'll pull it back a little loose with a cloth type scrunchie, most of the time I leave it down and leave it alone as long as I can stand it. As for growth, I guess it's been about average, 1/2 an inch per month. My hair was really short in the back like at the nape of my neck and now it is long enough just to be annoying and go into the back collar of a t-shirt. My hair only feels dry around the front, which is to be expected as it's the most damaged part of my hair from extensive highlighting and straightening with a flat iron.

I have tried coconut oil and various other oils and leave ins to help with the dryness in the front but nothing other than a little bit of mineral based baby oil helps while it's damp. I would really like some advice, and I'll try to post a pic or two if I need to (it's hard because my cell phone camera isn't super great and my husband is not the best picture taker). Basically should I just chop the front (it's a little bit longer than the back but not by much, the back seems to be growing faster than the front) to match the back? Or should I just keep with S&D and fight with the damage and breaking until it's all just eventually gone? I know it's a long process, and the quick way would be just to shave my head (lol) but that's not an option for me.

My biggest concern is the breakage and I only notice it around the front of my hair. My stylist friend who is very long hair friendly (God I am blessed for her) says that the back of my hair looks normal and not dry and isn't showing signs of breakage that it just looks like hair that is growing out layers. It seems every time I go to S&D I see breakage. Example: I S&D on a Monday evening, combat all the breakage and white dots that I see. I'll go all week without applying any heat to my hair, being as careful as possible with it, using my fingers to de-tangle after I wash it and when it dries a bit on it's own I'll use a wide tooth wooden comb to finish. If it's time for a hydrating mask, I'll do that, again, using no heat the rest of the week. Come the next Monday I'll S&D again, or just look in my hair for breakage, and there's more, maybe not AS much as there was before but still after 1 week there's breakage and I can not for the life of me figure out what I'm doing wrong.

I know this post is incredibly long winded and really, God bless the kind souls who get through it all to help me, but I am desperate for any word of advice or just a "that's typical for damaged hair" or anything really. I feel like I've just reached the point that no matter how much I baby my hair it's still going to break and cause me grief.

spidermom
April 25th, 2012, 03:18 PM
It sounds like you've got a good, gentle routine. Some hair types just split and break no matter how careful you are. Mine does, and I'm as careful as I can be without putting my hair under glass in a darkened room. I get a small trim about every 3 months to keep my ends in good condition, also to keep them even and thicker. I S&D my braids because it's easier to get at the split ends that pop out, but only occasionally because it drives me crazy and makes me want to shave my head.

Tizzles
April 25th, 2012, 03:56 PM
Thanks for your reply Spidermom, it gives me some relief to know your opinion! Your hair is so lovely :) I can't wait until mine is long again.

spidermom
April 25th, 2012, 04:04 PM
Patience! It's growing a little every day.

spookyghost
April 25th, 2012, 05:07 PM
Im sorry I dont have any of my own advice but I do agree with spider mom. I have bleached highlights and it seems that the front of my hair, which would probably be my bangs although they are past my chin now, must have got more bleach than the rest of my head. My hair is dryest right there and more splits. Drives me crazy. The other day I picked up some of my highlighted hair to see my natural hair underneath and WOW-it was sooo healthy and smoothe and not split! I am never highlighting again. Which will be hard because I have ash blonde hair or dishwater blonde and although I love that color, I just feel that I look better being blonder. But Im trying to get over that!:p

jaquelines
April 25th, 2012, 05:11 PM
I would suggest a little thing, maybe is not much, but I think it helped me quite much - wear your hair up. Since I started to wear my hair up all day, so basically not touching, the ends are "covered" in to my bun, I feel that the ends are doing better, my scalp and hair also.

MyKing'sQueen
April 25th, 2012, 05:15 PM
Have you tried a protein treatment followed by moisture? Sometimes damaged hair (especially bleached) needs a little protein. Are there any cones in your conditioner, shampoo or leave-in? I find that cones give a little more protection for my fine hair.

Tizzles
April 25th, 2012, 06:05 PM
Thanks for the replies! I tried a protein treatment once and my hair frizzed up like crazy. I had to use a harsh clarifying shampoo to get some normalcy back. The shampoo and conditioner I use now have Keratin type proteins in it as well as "cones" and my leave in conditioner says it does also. I don't use both every day but sometimes I'll spray the leave in on the ends and pray that it helps them.

I think I'm just going to have to chill out and deal with the damage as it comes and just do everything I can to prevent further damage and trim the damage already there as it grows. Growing hair long is definitely not for impatient people. I really appreciate the replies, sometimes you just feel like you're going to go mad, I guess today was just an "obsess on negative things" day. I will say this much, I am happier over all with the way my hair is now than when it was "fried dyed and laid to the side", from over processing and harsh chemicals. I guess it can always be worse. Cheers :)

MyKing'sQueen
April 25th, 2012, 06:51 PM
Maybe it's protein buildup? Have you tried to do the test for protein/moisture balance? This could be helpful http://blackbeautyblackhair86911.yuku.com/forum/viewtopic/id/511#.T5ibW1sTDzk

Tizzles
April 25th, 2012, 09:04 PM
Thanks very much for the link, I haven't done that but I'm reading it now and will check it out! :D

Edit: So from reading that very informative link (Thanks you very much MyKing'sQueen) loss of moisture seems to be my ultimate problem per this line here: (Wet or Dry) Very little/no stretching then breakage= more moisture. So I guess I am going to lay off my protein leave in conditioner for a bit and find a really good solid conditioner and maybe a leave in for the days I don't wash for my ends and see if I can't correct the balance. I don't think I've ever had evenly balanced hair though. Will I just know when it's fixed? It would seem to me that finding that perfect balance and then finding a hair regimen to keep it balanced will be tough. Any thoughts?

Dragon Faery
April 25th, 2012, 09:52 PM
My canopy does this, too, especially at the very front. It has taken me several years to get that area past chin. I had to do a combination of as much moisture as possible and ignoring some of the damage. That is still always the first place to break and split, and I've had to change my routine in as many ways as possible to minimize this. One big help for me was switching to sleeping on a satin pillowcase, not letting my hair get between me and a chair or couch, and being otherwise aware at all times of what my hair is touching.

It's just annoying and slow. But there will come a point where it will suddenly (or maybe gradually) not be as bad, and then one day you will find it's going quite well, actually.

Good luck, and in the meantime you have my sympathies.

MyKing'sQueen
April 27th, 2012, 01:12 AM
You're welcome, Tizzles! I hope it works for you. I think once you find a conditioner that gives you enough moisture your hair shouldn't break that easily and it should feel softer and smoother. Good luck!

Tizzles
April 30th, 2012, 06:32 PM
I just wanted to update and say thank you again! After clarifying and really working on moisture and paying more attention to the products I use in my hair, I have successfully gotten my hair to feel the best it's felt in years! It's amazing! I'm so excited:D

The conditioner I found to work great for me, keep in mind I'm still a cone head is the Sebastian Drench hydrating conditioner. 0 protein, but tons and tons of moisture and the smell is heavenly. I put a little bit of this into my Mr. Bottle with some distilled water and have been using it as a leave in for my ends in the front where most of my damage is. My hair is loving me and you guys that helped me! I'm not quite sure how to keep the balance going, I guess it's going to be a work in progress. I just wanted to update and say thank you again! <3

ravenreed
April 30th, 2012, 06:40 PM
Glad to hear a success story! Happy growing.

MyKing'sQueen
May 1st, 2012, 09:13 AM
I'm very happy you found something that works for your hair! If it starts getting too stretchy or weighed down give it a bit of protein. If you're doing a heavy protein treatment always follow immediately with moisture treatment or your hair may get dry. That's what I do:-)) Happy growing!