So discouraged - help!

[Medievalmaniac]

I really need cheering up/ encouragement. I went into my albums and looked at my beautiful long hair and just feel so defeated - it's never going to get there again. It really seems that way. I've been growing since December and it hasn't even hit the nape of my neck - and there's nothing I can do about it, nothing, nothing, nothing. I have no control over it now, I can only sit by and wait helplessly until it grows back. I hate cancer. It's such a freaking thief - take, take, take.

I just want to comb my hair, and put it up into a beautiful bun and secure it with a beautiful hairtoy. I want the feeling of my hair back. Oh, you with long hair, don't take it for granted, cherish every moment with it. :cry:

[Amethyste]

Oh Honey... :( I want to give you a huge huge hug! Your hair will get there and it will be beautiful! Do you know what is miraculous? That you are here with us at this very moment! I lost my mother to cancer and I cherish the people that fight this terrible disease that are around me, short or or long hair, and everything in between! It might take a while for your goal length, but I bet you that all of a sudden, your body chemistry with re-align and your hair will grow faster !

Chin up gorgeous :)

[WaitingSoLong]

Wear your hair loss as a badge of victory over cancer! Yes you miss it, that is OK. You want it back...ok but remember, it is JUST HAIR and your hair is NOT you. It is not the sum of your beauty or comfort. It is just hair. Whenever something comes into my life I cannot control, I just have to make the decision to embrace it, like I wanted it that way all along, and focus on other things. I know, easier said than done.

I am sorry you have gone through this and are still dealing with it. I really am.

[Medievalmaniac]

Amethyste - I know, you're right, I try hard to be grateful every day that I am still here, and mostly I succeed - but I have these days, like today, when I just want to cry over it all. My haaaaaaaaair. I know it's so selfish and immature and spoiled-brat of me, given that so many people lose their lives to cancer every year - I lost my hair, it grows back, I need to suck it up and get over it. But I just - my hair. :(

Waitingsolong- I know it's a badge of honor and I am proud of my baby hair - I just wish it would grow a little faster, already. I'm trying hard to embrace it, but it's really hard. I should just not look at my old albums right now - that triggered this mess. Just seeing my dream hair, and knowing I had it - for, like, a month. And then, I didn't. Nothing to be done - but I ache over it when I see pictures. I should have a rule: No pictures until chin level" or something. I dunno. eep. :rolleyes:

[Amanah]

hugs to you dear one :)

I know the same pain, as I also lost my hair to chemo, and am struggling to grow it back.

And yes, I thoughtlessly took my hair for granted before chemo, but now it is more precious than gold to me.

We are warriors together in this fight for our lives and our hair.

[CSallaround]

I want to give you a big hug. Cheer up, it's amazing that you're here today, and eventually your hair will be able to grow just as fast as it did before. :)
I know it can be frustrating and depressing that you don't have what you want (I'm sure most of us here on LHC know the feeling when it comes to hair that isn't the way we want it).
You just need to be patient, and maybe focus on something else more, while you wait for it to grow. - And yeah, maybe keep away from those old photos for a little while ;)

Huggles

[sarelis]

I really feel for you, there is not a lot I can say that hasn't already been said, just wanted to send some positive vibes your way xx

[Bedhead]

With everything you've been through, you deserve to cry over your hair. I suspect you're still healing emotionally from everything, and that's okay. The only thing I see here is you're looking in the past and the future too much, instead of embracing the here and now, and giving yourself permission to be where you are right now. I know when I had very short hair, I could do a lot of fun things with it. Play with your hair, have fun!

I know what it's like to lose something you valued due to health. It takes a lot of patience, and that can best be found by focusing on the present. Maybe if you have the desire to look back at pictures, you can have a limit of going only back to your shiny headed days, then it'll seem like you have a lot of hair! And don't forget to massage that head of yours, it will help move things through and stimulate those follicles. ;)

I'm glad you're here Medievalmaniac. :)

[WaitingSoLong]

If it's just "some days" then go ahead...cry over it! But I would avoid looking at pictures that make you more depressed about it.

[whitedove]

:grouphug: Gah I feel your frustration and understand your need to vent. I can only say that you need to look to the future, you will get that hair again!

[NativeGirl]

I've been there. I lost all of my tailbone length hair five years ago during chemo. It's devastating.
To cheer myself up, I took pictures of myself every week as I was growing it back out. It was encouraging to see the new growth each week. I looked at it as a "new" me growing out. The old hair was the pre-cancer me, and this new hair is the post-cancer me.

[summergreen]

Ohh I so, so feel for you, I would be exactly the same - or probably, far less brave. Sending good vibes your way.

[spidermom]

I remember having that feeling when my hair was short and I wanted it long. You look at it day after day after day, and there's no change.

Until the day there is. Maybe take pictures once every 3 months or so?

[Medievalmaniac]

@Amanah and Nativegirl - thanks so much, it is always so good to hear from others who have dealt with this specifically. Nativegirl - I'm really encouraged by your length progress! Hip would be great. tailbone would be greater. Fingertip would be the best... but for now, I think I'd settle for chin, ah me! lol Did it take you all five years to grow it out, or did you cut during that time?

Spidermom - I'm taking photos each month. Actually, tomorrow is my next month shot! It's definitely growing, and I think pretty well, generally speaking - it's just nowhere NEAR where I want it to be - you know.

@Summergreen - does it count as brave, if you are only doing it because you don't have a choice? lol

Thank you so much, everybody, it is so special to me to be able to come here and post this knowing you will understand and sympathize with me over it. :hug:

[kamikaze hair]

Hi!

Sending hugs your way :grouphug:

I just wanted to say your hair is BEAUTIFUL, both before, and now after. It really is. I really like it, and you will get there again. :)

Its okay to have "not so great" days. Its okay to let them happen. It only means you've got an "I feel awesome" day right around the corner.

Head massages, lots of head massages, better yet poke other people with sticks to prompt them to massage your head for you!!

Here's a cheering squad to give your hair some encouragement:

:cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer:

[dulce]

It does grow back,for anyone who has just found out they have cancer check out THE COLD CAP,a new way to keep your hair during treatment.

[heidi w.]

A member we used to hear from on occasion, and a person I've met in person, SaxGirl, had cancer. She got creative or a group of her friends did, and they bought her a wig that was kind of interesting. I recall seeing her with purple hair at one point. While it doesn't necessarily make you feel a whole lot better, it can be a time to have some fun when all else is really, really crappy.

And I thought I had it bad. I've got it good. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I hope it all goes in to remission soon.
heidi w.

[skyblue]

I know it will seem a long time, but you need to see the bright side of things, first your still here, second you have a whole new head of soft virgin hair, it will go through stages, and it will grow I suggest that you try to enjoy all the different looks your gonna go through and put your energy in other things and not think so much about the hair, you'll drive yourself crazy with the waiting....I know I was there too ;)
It's been 9 yrs now for me but you know what those yrs just flew by!
It will fly for you too you'll see lol!!

[skaempfer]

Hang in there! I looked at your new album pics and It is gorgeous and curly, even if it's short. Just stay busy doing stuff you love and it won't seem so slow :). And when it seems slow anyway, come and tell us about it. :hug:

[ladylowtide]

:grouphug:

Everyone in this thread has great advice.

Sendin you good vibes!

[lapushka]

Amethyste - I know, you're right, I try hard to be grateful every day that I am still here, and mostly I succeed - but I have these days, like today, when I just want to cry over it all. My haaaaaaaaair. I know it's so selfish and immature and spoiled-brat of me, given that so many people lose their lives to cancer every year - I lost my hair, it grows back, I need to suck it up and get over it. But I just - my hair. :(

You *should* be grateful that you're still here. I lost my grandmother to cancer (breast, then brain), and I certainly know what that's like. That, however, doesn't mean you can't mourn what you've lost and that's your hair. You're still here, yes, but you've had to make some sacrifices for it. It's not immature, selfish or spoiled-brat of you to mourn your hair. After all, it's so much more than just head covering, it's a symbol of how much this disease takes from you. Hair is all enmeshed with your self-esteem, your dignity. It's hard. Hugs to you. :grouphug:

[ratgirldjh]

One thing about looking at your albums - you know you CAN grow hair again! Give it time it will grow back.

My friend lost her hair for the same reason and it grew back MUCH thicker and wavier and it is also darker in color! Actually her hair is better now than it ever was! It just took some time.

At least you are on this site and can start over using all the information you learned here.

HUGS


Amethyste - I know, you're right, I try hard to be grateful every day that I am still here, and mostly I succeed - but I have these days, like today, when I just want to cry over it all. My haaaaaaaaair. I know it's so selfish and immature and spoiled-brat of me, given that so many people lose their lives to cancer every year - I lost my hair, it grows back, I need to suck it up and get over it. But I just - my hair. :(

Waitingsolong- I know it's a badge of honor and I am proud of my baby hair - I just wish it would grow a little faster, already. I'm trying hard to embrace it, but it's really hard. I should just not look at my old albums right now - that triggered this mess. Just seeing my dream hair, and knowing I had it - for, like, a month. And then, I didn't. Nothing to be done - but I ache over it when I see pictures. I should have a rule: No pictures until chin level" or something. I dunno. eep. :rolleyes:

[Jessy22284]

:grouphug: I'm so sorry for what you've been through and what you're going through, now. You're hair is beautiful, and it was beautiful, and I'm sure you're going to get there again! It's just going to take some time. Just know that you've got a lot of support here.

[Micayla47]

thank you so much for sharing your story and yourself. your new hair looks so shiny and soft and pure!:flower:

[NativeGirl]

@Amanah and Nativegirl - thanks so much, it is always so good to hear from others who have dealt with this specifically. Nativegirl - I'm really encouraged by your length progress! Hip would be great. tailbone would be greater. Fingertip would be the best... but for now, I think I'd settle for chin, ah me! lol Did it take you all five years to grow it out, or did you cut during that time?

Spidermom - I'm taking photos each month. Actually, tomorrow is my next month shot! It's definitely growing, and I think pretty well, generally speaking - it's just nowhere NEAR where I want it to be - you know.

@Summergreen - does it count as brave, if you are only doing it because you don't have a choice? lol

Thank you so much, everybody, it is so special to me to be able to come here and post this knowing you will understand and sympathize with me over it. :hug:

I had one haircut cut three years ago to even it up. I asked for an inch off, and had three inches taken off instead. :mad: Otherwise, I haven't taken any length off.

[dulce]

The full name for this new treatment is"Penquin Cold Cap Therapy"used to prevent chemo induced hair loss.Google for info and to reach their website.

[dulce]

It's awful to lose it but as it grows back ,experiment with the different styles/hair toys / looks for all the different lengths as it grows back.Try and make it fun instead of sad[I know it's hard but try] and it'll be long again in no time.

[constructamane]

I feel your pain!! My mother had breast cancer and lost all of her hair, so I know how this effects people. I am a nurse, and I see people every day go through this. The reason I started to grow my hair, was to donate it to make a wig with it.
My vision is to have a "hair bank", where people who want to cut there hair could donate it through their stylist or themselves to a bank. The bank would accept all hair from all races, and would try and match up your hair to a donated hair, and make a wig for you.

Have you considered a long- haired wig temporarily? I used a wig recently when my hair was in an awful stage, and it made me feel better. Keep that picture, and know that you WILL have long hair again!!!AND...you have this community to help you through it!!WE FEEL YOUR PAIN!

[summergreen]

@Summergreen - does it count as brave, if you are only doing it because you don't have a choice? lol



Good point, I chose the wrong word. Sorry for being a bit dense there. I guess I was trying to say that I don't think theres anything immature, or whatever, about resenting the side-effects of medical treatment, no matter how vital. I think you are totally entitled to get angry with the whole situation.

Just looked at your album and your new hair is looking lovely.