Please help - damaged hair, really bad split ends :(

[princess-royal]

Hi everyone, I'd really appreciate some help on this.

Basically I have fine hair that is very damaged from bleaching. It was still nice until December, when I went to a new hair salon and they insisted on straightening my hair. Since then it has split all the way up - several inches of multiple split ends - and it has become thin and limp. Thinking about it still makes me angry, because I wouldn't have this problem if they'd listened to me when I said that my hair was damaged. Anyway, to make things worse my hair will not take hair dye properly because it's so porous, so I've been stuck with a gingery brown for way too long.

I looked online for solutions - my aim is to grow out my natural hair, but this is going to take years - and I was horrified to see responses such as "You're just going to have to face it and cut off all your hair or the damage will continue". The length is the only thing i like about my hair: my mum always insisted on me having it short and I've been growing it for a few years now. The longer my hair has got, the more boys are interested in me, which may be coincidental but I've always associated it with becoming more attractive. I also wear clip-in hair extensions, although they are only slightly longer than my real hair (I mainly wear them for the volume). I can't imagine cutting my hair off and know that I will feel awful about myself until it grows back if I do. I really don't suit short hair and I'm sure a lot of you here will understand how painful the thought of chopping 4 or 5 inches off is. The shortest I would go to is a little below shoulder length (it's halfway down my back at the moment) and even that fills me with dread because I know how slowly my hair grows.

My question is: is it possible to repair damage by just cutting a little bit off at a time? I know that my ends are splitting several inches up my hair but I was wondering if I'd be able to save them and just cut an inch off at the bottom every few months while using coconut oil to try to repair split ends. My hair looks awful and if I could do an Emma Watson I would, but I know how much I'll regret it.

http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/575864_10150749923231797_584476796_9233307_8465807 41_n.jpg - my hair with extensions

http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/523357_10150696745186797_584476796_9057937_2030863 475_n.jpg

Close ups of my hair in really harsh light :(

file:///Users/glenmallows/Documents/IMG_5766.jpg

file:///Users/glenmallows/Documents/IMG_5767.jpg

Please help! I just want my healthy hair back. I wish I'd never tried to dye it back to brown.

[julliams]

It was still nice until December, when I went to a new hair salon and they insisted on straightening my hair. Since then it has split all the way up - several inches of multiple split ends - and it has become thin and limp. Thinking about it still makes me angry, because I wouldn't have this problem if they'd listened to me when I said that my hair was damaged.

I believe this happened to me too. My splits were controllable, I went for a trim and she used a straightener on it and left it on the ends for way longer than I personally would. After that, my hair split like crazy and I was really angry about it because I think it was the straightener that did it too.

It sounds like your hair needs moisture and this is what has caused the splitting. My best advice would be frequent micro trims and lots and lots of moisture. I would try and do two treatments a week - SMT, lite coconut milk or whatever works for you.

If oil works for you, try putting this on the ends to protect them.

I think if you trim a little off every month, eventually you will find that the splits will get under control. When I stopped worrying about them and not focussing on them, I have found that they are not as bad. When you obsess about them, you see them everywhere! Are you familiar with Feye's self trimming method? This will keep you in control and save you money as well. All the best and for what it's worth, I think your hair looks really nice. It's probably only you that notices the damage.

[HintOfMint]

I can't see the last two pictures, but here's my take.

First of all, you look like a prettier version of Emma Watson.

Second, you could absolutely pull off her pixie cut and look absolutely darling.

Third, I completely 100% understand feeling more attractive with long hair and enjoying the attention from the opposite sex. A few years ago, I had grown out my hair and started getting more attention from boys and I loved it! Unfortunately, I wasn't growing it out with the healthiest habits (blowdried on high every single day) and it showed, so I gritted my teeth and chopped it off to collarbone. I know that's not what you want to hear, and I'm not saying you have to do that, but that is my story.

There is unfortunately no way to repair damage, not even with coconut oil. You can baby it, try to prevent further damage, mask the existing damage and do micro trims the way many members here have done, but I do think it is an uphill battle.

I have found that damage can spread upwards. When you have breakage, the tips break off leaving a frayed end and those frayed ends travel upwards like a, well, fraying rope. This contributes to tangles and more fraying and you see where I'm going with this.

All I can say is, cutting off the damage is a very very temporary sacrifice for the long run. Within less than 7 months, I had hair longer than APL. You look very young and so you have years and years ahead of you to look attractive for boys.

Good luck and welcome!

[Alvrodul]

When hair is damaged, the damage is there to stay, unfortunately. It is possible to cover up the damage, and make the hair look better, but no pampering in the world is going to make the damage go away.
Trimming away damage is the only way to achieve healthy hair - but it may not be necessary to get rid of it all in one fell swoop. One or two inches may give you a great improvement in the general health of your hair, while not being as traumatic as a larger chop - or you can go with frequent small trims.
Julliams has recommended SMTs, and I second this recommendation - but you should also look into protein treatments, since that may help to strengthen your damaged hair. Healthy hair needs a balance between protein and moisture to be at its best.
You could also look into trying updos - this would have two benefits - one, a protective updo would keep your hair away from dangers that damage it, and secondly, keeping your hair in an updo can help you conceal damaged ends. Good luck, and happy growing! :)

[Roscata]

First off I would like to say I'm sorry to hear that you're having issues with damaged hair. *big hugs*

I suggest you read these two very informative articles about how to work with and prevent damage: Damaged Hair: Understanding, Preventing & Rehabilitating (http://www.longhaircommunity.com/forums/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79) and Keeping Split Ends At Bay: Secrets of Gently Handling Your Hair (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=8).

You may also want to consider henna (http://www.mehandi.com/shop/hennahairbook/index.html), it has been reported to help fine hair become stronger and less likely to break or split. If you are considering henna you can get a brown color with indigo, Lush (http://www.lushusa.com/Henna-Hair-Dyes/henna-hair-dyes,en_US,sc.html) has a pre mixed version which has a nice hue.

Other than that make sure your hair is getting plenty of moisture, coconut oil (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=53786) used a pre-wash is really good and post wash I've seen good things being said about mineral oil (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=225).

Try to stay away from harsh sulfate shampoo, maybe switch to Conditioner Only (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=18) washes, do an SMT (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128) every week or so and your hair should feel better. You can also consider a protein treatment, chemically colored hair tends to benefit from it, but ALWAYS follow it up with a deep conditioning treatment like SMT.

Most importantly make sure you trim off the split ends, you can do regular S&D (http://sites.google.com/site/habioku/about-hair/self-trimming) and dusting (cutting off less than 1/2 an inch off the ends) in stead of chopping off a large amount of length at once.

Good luck! :)

[KrystalPixie]

I have been soaking my hair in a mixture of damage repair masks from sallys (different kinds in the packets) for 2 weeks and it has helped my hair. I fried it after using the Suave Keratin 30 day smoothing treatment and had to cut it all off into a pixie. so now I am just sleeping in the repair mixture 2 times a week.

[heidi w.]

[QUOTE=princess-royal;2094973My question is: is it possible to repair damage by just cutting a little bit off at a time? I know that my ends are splitting several inches up my hair but I was wondering if I'd be able to save them and just cut an inch off at the bottom every few months while using coconut oil to try to repair split ends. My hair looks awful and if I could do an Emma Watson I would, but I know how much I'll regret it.
file:///Users/glenmallows/Documents/IMG_5767.jpg

Please help! I just want my healthy hair back. I wish I'd never tried to dye it back to brown.[/QUOTE]

While it is true that recovering from bleaching can take some time, you do not need to remove all the damage all at once. You can remove a little bit at a time. That's fine.

Next time you go to a salon, know one thing. No one can make you do a particular service. Just say no thank you and if they get forceful ask for another dresser, or simply get up and walk out. It's your money, and you're the client. They succeeded at upselling you to a more expensive treatment. Some salons, that's the goal. Not to give you great hair care.

Never forget, you're the client, and it's your money. They are not you.
heidi w.

[heidi w.]

First off I would like to say I'm sorry to hear that you're having issues with damaged hair. *big hugs*

You may also want to consider henna (http://www.mehandi.com/shop/hennahairbook/index.html), it has been reported to help fine hair become stronger and less likely to break or split. If you are considering henna you can get a brown color with indigo, Lush (http://www.lushusa.com/Henna-Hair-Dyes/henna-hair-dyes,en_US,sc.html) has a pre mixed version which has a nice hue.

Good luck! :)

Um, I am not a fan of henna. As I understand it, this can interfere with the uptake of conditioner. Usually, at first, henna hair appears to improve and people like it. But after some time, the dryness sets in and begins to show. If you have chemically treated hair such as straightening and bleaching, you may want to really think about not doing this idea. Henna, even if more "natural" is still another way to dye hair. And your idea is going back to your hair that was given to you. That might undo your eventual goals if you do this. I recommend against it, and I am aware that my opinion of henna is not very welcome, but it's something you might want to be aware of if you indeed do consider this idea. I don't really know a lot about henna, but I have seen what I have seen, and it doesn't look that great in the long run.

heidi w.

[spidermom]

Yes - it's perfectly all right to do small trims on a regular basis, plus if you happen to spot a really bad hair, you can snip it off just above the visible damage (also called S&D). I find this easiest to do when ends poke out of my braids.

Meanwhile, baby the heck out of your hair and use very gentle products that work well for you.

[Shermie Girl]

I wish I had a dollar for every time my hair has been where yours is, now. I'd give Bill Gates a run for his money. :lol: I feel your pain and frustration.

Okay, first: I am sorry but there is no way to 'repair" damaged hair. Hair is dead. It can't be healed, it can't be fixed. However, you can use gentle care, protein treatments, tons of moisture and plenty of stuff like silicone and oils to make it look prettier, feel nicer and hold up a little better as you go through the process of growing it out and getting newer, better condition hair.

Another thing you need to remember is that growing your hair takes time. A long time and an incredible amount of care and patience. Growing your hair is a marathon, not a sprint and instant gratification isn't possible when it comes to growing your hair.

Some suggestions to get this done:

I would suggest starting with a good trim. You don't have to chop a bunch of your hair off but since your hair is very fragile and split at your ends, that hair is most likely breaking off every time you brush, wash, comb or otherwise manipulate your hair. A good trim, (an inch or two should suffice, for now) will take the worst of the damage away and you might actually begin noticing increased length as it stops breaking off as fast as it grows. It is hard to trim, sometimes (it takes me forever to decide to do so! :lol:) but it really will be of huge benefit in the long run. Trust me.

Next, protein treatments can help to fill in where your hair's cuticle is damaged and bits are missing. Pick up a protein treatment (I like Joico K-Pak), clarify your hair, apply the protein, leave it in a half hour or so. rinse, then follow up with a deep moisture treatment. Always follow protein with moisture to avoid that "crunchy" feel that protein can sometimes give.

Using a natural oil on your hair, before and after washing can seal in moisture, provide slip and softness and increase shine and just make your hair feel so much better. Jojoba oil, coconut, sweet almond, olive... There are as many oils as there are people who use them. Play with a few and see what works for you then stick with it and be consistent.

Silicone is very helpful to nursing along damaged hair. Silicone makes hair slippery to aid in wet combing, makes the hair smoother, softer and silkier, silicone can temporarily "glue" splits together, making your ends look and feel a bit better. You can use silicone and oils together.

You got suggestions for SMT, it's a lovely treatment and works great. I also noticed that henna was suggested. Henna is great if you are dedicated to being a redhead. It can condition and physically strengthen your hair but be warned, it is red. Only red and it is permanent. You will never get it out, unless you cut it out. So, think carefully about henna.

Updos to protect your length is always a good idea. Buns are elegant and very ladylike and they protect your delicate length and ends from friction, wind and so forth. Damp bunning can infuse moisture into your dry hair. After you wash and condition, apply some oil or a nice leave in (or both) then, bun your wet hair and anchor it with a waterproof clip, stick or pins. Leave it like that all day. It is cooling in the Summer and it really does work.

If you pamper, spoil and treat your hair like the delicate flower it is, use lots of protein, moisture and oil and, maybe silicone (it will take some time to find the right mix of products that will work for your own hair. Don't give up, just keep trying and you will find it! You will. :D) trim regularly, just microtrims done once a month or so can make a big difference and really help your hair's overall condition as you grow; in time you will see stronger, healthier looking (remember hair is dead, it can't be "healthy" but it can be gorgeous!) shiny, smooth, strong hair.

I hope that this helps a little. these tips have helped me rehab utterly destroyed hair and grow it back out. More than once. :D

[feralnature]

Your hair is very pretty. If it were mine, I would use coconut oil regularly in the ends and have regular, tiny trims. I use Suave Naturals shampoo and conditioner. Shampoo just the crown and condition from the ears down. No blow dryer or hot irons ever.

[Avital88]

i would say oil oil oil,,,avocado oil for example..
Twice a week a lot of it in hair,braid to sleep and wash next day as usual.
Look for feyes self trim, and get off 0.5 inch now and then or more if u prefer.
Good luck

[brave]

There has been lots of wonderful advice and I agree you could pull off an Emma Watson, but understand why you don't want to.

Your last two pictures are not showing because you have linked them directly from your computer. They need to be uploaded to a server before we can view them, using a site like photobucket or imgur.

[ladylowtide]

I have bleached ends that are extremely porous and split when they don't get enough moisture. I personally used henna, because it made the ends slicker and shinier. I feel like it sort of coast over the holes in the hair (but I don't know of any scientific info that supports this so take is with a grain of salt). Even with the henna though, I found that my damaged ends respond great to an hour long olive oil soak before I shampoo my hair. And even then I CWC right over the oil. You might now save the ends but with enough moisture and gentle handling you could keep them from getting worse. and most importantly keep them on your head until you are ready to trim them off.

[princess-royal]

Thank you for all your lovely and helpful replies, everyone :) I found the article about trimming split ends especially useful. I have to admit that I was jealous of the baby hair cuticle in the article about damaged hair! I've tried to fix the links. Hopefully this will work:

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/552936_10150763789361797_584476796_9254751_2556066 91_n.jpg - hair with extensions (I had to post this in order to feel better about myself after looking at the atrocious photos below) :P

http://i1202.photobucket.com/albums/bb371/alicebytemperley/IMG_5766.jpg?t=1335221123

http://i1202.photobucket.com/albums/bb371/alicebytemperley/IMG_5767.jpg?t=1335221123

Some of this hair is the extensions, which look nice from a distance but definitely not when they're uncombed, up close and in harsh light. But some of that (the thinner, more flyaway looking stuff towards the back, and bits of the front)) is my actual hair and as you can see in a light like that it looks really damaged.

It's reassuring to know that I can just trim my hair a bit at a time. I think I'll get an inch cut off and I will try Feye's trimming method more often. I have used coconut oil twice on my hair but neither attempt was very successful because I think I used way too much - it took two thorough shampoo/conditioner sessions to get it all out of my hair, and I rubbed a lot of it into the roots, which didn't really need it. I might use less oil and stick to the ends next time. One of my friends told me that coconut oil can make hair colour fade, which made me panic a little - is this true or completely unfounded?

I also shampoo and condition my hair twice a week with Organix keratin treatment shampoo and I have ordered a wooden detangler comb from The Body Shop. I think I'll steer clear of henna because there's something dauntingly permanent about it and I would like to go back to my mousy colour, so i don't want really obvious roots.

[princess-royal]

Ugh, my hair looks awful today. Last night I wet it, rubbed some coconut oil (not a huge amount) into the ends, shampooed and conditioned, and let it dry naturally. Today it is limp, silky, and mushy. I regret trying to apply box dye a few days ago...

[MagicalMystery]

Get your hands on Giovanni's Nutrafix Hair Reconstructor. I bleached out my henna last year and it absolutely destroyed my hair. It was so bad, everyone thought I had straightened it. It was like straw. After months and months of trimming out damage, I stumbled on that stuff and I swear... had I discovered it sooner, I wouldn't have had to trim so much off! It saved my hair.

Everyone's hair is different, but I say it's worth a shot. If you're suffering from bleach damage, that stuff is fantastic! The minute I applied it, I already felt a difference. A few overnight treatment and I bet you'll see a huge improvement!

[summergreen]

Loads of great advice, just wanted to say I think your hair is a lovely colour and doesn't look thin at all. Also, in the last pics, I think that fuzziness looks more like curly hair when it's worn straight, than damage (it's how my daughter's hair looks if she combs it out; her hair is about 2c/3a) - maybe your hair is less damaged than you think?

[spidermom]

Your pictures of damage look kind of like the surface of my hair. I have thousands of shorter, curlier hairs.