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View Full Version : Getting so close to hip... but I have to chop :(



~BoHemiAngel~
April 10th, 2012, 12:07 AM
It's been 3 long years on my journey from shoulder to hip, and it looks like I've still got a ways to go. It seems that I just reach a certain point ("waistlands") and my hair fairytales out like crazy!! It's driving me nuts!!! I've hung in there, hating my hair nearly every day for the past year and a half or so with these annoying, fly-away ends! :angry: I feel like I've tried everything... oiling, microtrimming, clarifying, protein treatments, deep conditioning treatments, you name it! (End rant :) )

With a dark shirt on, they don't look SOOOO bad... passable, even:
http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x322/hburgy/DSCN1338640x480.jpg


But with a white shirt on you can see how bad the ends really are... :(
http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x322/hburgy/DSCN1332640x480.jpg

What do you guys think- how much do I need to cut off to get rid of these awful thinning ends? I've been thinking about it for months (more like a year and a half) and I'm ready to make the cut! Your advice/thoughts are welcome!!

:blossom: BoHemiAngel

Kyla
April 10th, 2012, 12:11 AM
I personally think your fairytale ends are lovely. They don't look flyaway at all actually...are you talking about them not all forming into curls? Maybe they could possibly be made to be less "flyaway" with leave in?

If you really want to cut, it looks like you might have to quite a bit to ride yourself completely of the fairy tale ends. If you only want to clean it up a little, rather than cut all the fairy tale ends off, two inches seem like it would help achieve the look (I think) you want.

Quahatundightu
April 10th, 2012, 12:15 AM
I would recommend microtrimming, check out my progress in my album or on the microtrimming thread linked in my siggy. Perhaps you could do a bigger trim to start with and then continue microtrimming.

cwarren
April 10th, 2012, 12:22 AM
If you don't have split ends I would recommend wearing your hair up for a while until it grows out. But if you REALLY want to cut, I say start slow. Cut an inch, see how you like it and let it grow out a little more.

How fast does your hair grow? If you're a slow grower, cut half an inch.

Safira
April 10th, 2012, 12:29 AM
I think your fairytales ends are cute. Don´t chop. Microtrim only, you look like a fairy :D

sfgirl
April 10th, 2012, 12:33 AM
I recommend wearing you hair up also. Try focusing on cute hair toys and updos! Maybe the wear your hair up challenge?
I really liked how beyondclassiclength (I believe it was that website), showed how she thickened up her ends at knee length. You probably just have some fast growers and some slow growers. (mine gets really bad, since my left side grows extremely fast, but my right side is average. ex. bangs from autumn: right; upper cheek, left; chin. ) hang in there! As long as your hair feels healthy don't worry.

Mesmerise
April 10th, 2012, 12:42 AM
I think you should try wearing your hair up and maintaining for a year. Just cut your hair growth off every couple of months or so (so if you grow 1/2" a month, then cut off 1" every second month) and see how it looks in a year. It won't be any longer, but your ends may look HEAPS better and you'll be able to keep growing!!

It would be a shame to cut back to BSL, instead of maintaining around waist for another year. This way you'll get to keep your length, and gradually your ends should get nicer!

carolinaberry
April 10th, 2012, 12:57 AM
I don't think they look bad. I think they are lovely. If there is damage, I would recommend S&D...and oiling your ends.

julliams
April 10th, 2012, 12:58 AM
Now see, I really like this look. I have a very thick hemline and I find it weighs my body down. Just keep up with the small trims but I certainly wouldn't cut alot off - it looks beautiful to me.

Loreley
April 10th, 2012, 01:00 AM
I'd cut 2", it would make a big difference. But only if you really don't like your ends.

Elenna
April 10th, 2012, 01:03 AM
You are my hair twin. Like you, I'm wishing for an even hemline too. But no drastic cuts, why not just keep trying new ideas.

Littlewing13
April 10th, 2012, 05:10 AM
I agree, just chop a little. Its amazing how much an inch or 2 can do to make your ends look thicker. Little bit at a time. Then grow a while, then trim a little more if you need. Take it slowly. Its so pretty!

Othala
April 10th, 2012, 05:12 AM
I think your ends are delightful and very feminine.

maria_asa
April 10th, 2012, 05:16 AM
Honestly I don't think your ends look bad at all but if you really hate them I would start with a small trim, no more than an inch, and go from there.

schweedie
April 10th, 2012, 05:19 AM
I think your ends look really lovely in the picture with the white top, too. If you really do want to get rid of them completely it looks like you'd have to trim quite a bit, but I'd start out trimming little by little and see how you feel. But again, I don't think it looks bad at all - I love fairytale ends with your hairtype!

LocustSpawning
April 10th, 2012, 05:27 AM
I'd cut maybe about 2 inches off, but nothing more! The maintain that length with micro trims for a while till it thickens up. Good luck! x

MinderMutsig
April 10th, 2012, 05:30 AM
I would probably trim 1 or 2 inches and then either maintain for a bit or cut about half your growth for the next couple of months. I'm sure that would thicken up your hemline a lot.

UltraBella
April 10th, 2012, 05:38 AM
I guess I will be the odd man out and tell you that if it was my hair, I would cut 3 or 4 inches off. I think your hair is very beautiful but I know the thin ends would bug me and I would cut them off.

bunzfan
April 10th, 2012, 05:43 AM
I think your ends look really lovely in the picture with the white top, too. If you really do want to get rid of them completely it looks like you'd have to trim quite a bit, but I'd start out trimming little by little and see how you feel. But again, I don't think it looks bad at all - I love fairytale ends with your hairtype!

I agree often with wavy hair like ours suits thinner ends but, if it really bothers you why not micro trim every months for 6 months that way your still be making some progress .

Dragon
April 10th, 2012, 05:48 AM
I don’t think they look that bad. Since you are so close to hip, I would recommend grow to hip and maintain there. Or if you really dislike the way they look, maintain where you are at till you are happy with it.

XcaliburGirl
April 10th, 2012, 07:51 AM
I also like your fairytale ends, but if you don't, trim off 2 inches (or less) and see how it looks before cutting any more. Then in a few months reevaluate how it looks.

turtlelover
April 10th, 2012, 08:02 AM
I have to agree with UltraBella on this one -- if it were my hair, I'd cut to the point where the ends were thicker. I am just not a fan of fairytale ends in general. To me, it just looks messy. I bet it would look FABULOUS just below BSL -- I love the texture!

Anje
April 10th, 2012, 08:07 AM
Honestly, I like fairytale ends on hair with curls. On straight-ish hair like mine, I'm not a fan, but I think it allows the curls a bit of extra room to make themselves obvious. So I would advise you, if you cut (and I get that too -- I like some thickness at the ends of my braids, rather than having it taper to nothing), to take off no more than half of that thinned-out portion.

Be aware that buns are usually considered easier with the thinner ends.

Amber_Maiden
April 10th, 2012, 08:12 AM
i like your fairy tale ends!
If you did, however, want to chop, then I'd cut off 5-6in.

joflakes
April 10th, 2012, 09:24 AM
I really like them as they are...

lapushka
April 10th, 2012, 09:38 AM
Another vote for: they look lovely as is. I wouldn't cut - at all, because if you do want to rid yourself of the fairytale ends, it looks as though you'll end up losing quite a bit of length! :(

Nordlys
April 10th, 2012, 10:16 AM
I get a similar texture to yours when I comb/brush my hair. I am struggling also with thin ends while I am trying to get a blunt hemline and grow to upper hip length. I had thinner ends than yours and cut 3 inches 5 days ago. I have totally cut off about 5 inches in a year which equals a years growth for me, but I did it gradually. 1 inch in September, 1 inch in January and 3 inches now (from April 2011 to April 2012).
If I were you and I would be sure that I am ready to cut off then I would cut off 2 inches now, wait half a year and cut 2,5 inches more. That way you won't notice the length change so much.

heidi w.
April 10th, 2012, 10:19 AM
It's been 3 long years on my journey from shoulder to hip, and it looks like I've still got a ways to go. It seems that I just reach a certain point ("waistlands") and my hair fairytales out like crazy!! It's driving me nuts!!! I've hung in there, hating my hair nearly every day for the past year and a half or so with these annoying, fly-away ends! :angry: I feel like I've tried everything... oiling, microtrimming, clarifying, protein treatments, deep conditioning treatments, you name it! (End rant :) )

With a dark shirt on, they don't look SOOOO bad... passable, even:
http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x322/hburgy/DSCN1338640x480.jpg


But with a white shirt on you can see how bad the ends really are... :(
http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x322/hburgy/DSCN1332640x480.jpg

What do you guys think- how much do I need to cut off to get rid of these awful thinning ends? I've been thinking about it for months (more like a year and a half) and I'm ready to make the cut! Your advice/thoughts are welcome!!

:blossom: BoHemiAngel

You misunderstand your hair and label it incorrectly as damage/thinning and having to chop it off. Not so! You're after something that your hair will likely never be. You have, in fact, wavy hair. Wavy hair is on the spectrum of curly hair. This means that you have hair that forms curls and curls always form by strands of hair combining to create loops and coils and waves. So what you see as fairytale, in my opinion is not fairytale. It's YOUR hair. Further, all hair at the ends taper. ALL hair. It's rare that this does not occur, but I've seen the evidence in 18 feet of hair and 6 feet of hair, and it's in my hair too.

If you want an idea of what your hair would look like straight and all more flattened out, you could curl your hair on large barrel rollers in thin strips or sections of hair, take it out after it's dry from being placed under a heat cap for a bit (and set on low), and then when dry take it out, comb it out, and you'll have a very different view of your hair.

Straight hair tends to be more honest because there's no air between the strands as is presented in curlier or wavier hair when it's all gathered up or laid out loose.

You want your hair to show like a straight haired person, but you simply don't have that kind of hair.

Relax and enjoy your recent accomplishment. If you aren't enjoying your hair along the way of gaining length, then you aren't doing it right.

ETA: You actually have nice hair, and the hair that a lot of people would love to have. You can go straight, curlier, simply wavy, style it and have lots of volume in an updo. You've got it all, baby! Be happy, and stop being so self-critical. END ETA

There just is not real need to cut as far as I can tell from these photos.
heidi w.

spidermom
April 10th, 2012, 10:21 AM
It looks like your ends want to curl, but you comb/brush them out. That's probably what's causing the fly-away texture. Try misting them and twirling them around your finger after you comb, see how that looks.

However, since you say you've hated your hair for 1-1/2 years, you might as well cut back to the point where you feel good about it.

Jessy22284
April 10th, 2012, 10:28 AM
I don't think that your ends look damaged at all. I think that maybe that's just your natural hair texture shape and taper? I agree that if it bothers you and is driving you nuts, you could take it up, slowly, but I really wouldn't. I kind of feel that that's your natural hair type/shape and might grow back down to that at that length naturally. I have very straight hair, and I think that your hair is beautiful. Congratulations on your growth so far :)

brave
April 10th, 2012, 10:44 AM
I'm gonna jump on the bandwagon and say I also love your ends. They don't look thin, it more looks like that's where the curl is able to clump together and separate and do its thing. If you truly hate them, chop them off and send them here and I wil glue them to my head.

Macaroni
April 10th, 2012, 10:48 AM
Since you're really upset, I'd go for the big chop. You can do it yourself with feye's self trim method.

annamoonfairy
April 10th, 2012, 10:53 AM
I love your fairytale endings! I miss mine when did a straight cut.

~BoHemiAngel~
April 10th, 2012, 11:22 AM
Wow, thank you all so, SO much for your input! I greatly appreciate the honest feedback and your kind words. It has really helped me to feel better about and appreciate the hair I have. :flower:

UltraBella and turtlelover, I completely agree that chopping off about 4" would give me the blunt hemline I soooooo long for, but with my growth rate being 1/4" per month, that would set me back 16 months worth of growth :( I think I will compromise and go with a decent chop of 2" for a fresh start, and then microtrim and protect the ends like crazy from there! :D

And heidi w, thank you for sharing your thoughts about my hairtype. It's true, my hair is wavy and there are a LOT of great things about having wavy hair! I think the reason I sound so upset in my OP is because my hair hasn't always looked this way. I've posted a pic on the left that was taken just a few years ago, before my major shed (compared to the way it looks now on the right):

http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x322/hburgy/nicehair640x480.jpg http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x322/hburgy/DSCN1332640x480.jpg

(Sorry the bottom is chopped off here, this was pre-LHC but I think you can still see how much thicker the hemline was then). I think I would feel differently if the way may hair looks now is "just the way it is." However, I think with a little trim today and a lot of TLC (and a couple more years ;)), I'll get it back in time.

Thank you again to everyone for your support and kindness. Now I'm off to the hairdresser's! I'll post pics when I get back!

Avital88
April 10th, 2012, 11:32 AM
i suggest microtrimming, i think your hair looks lovely :-)
every month a dusting of 0.2 inch and sometimes a bit more( every 4 months 0.5 inch for example)
Good luck

Nev
April 10th, 2012, 11:58 AM
You misunderstand your hair and label it incorrectly as damage/thinning and having to chop it off. Not so! You're after something that your hair will likely never be. You have, in fact, wavy hair. Wavy hair is on the spectrum of curly hair. This means that you have hair that forms curls and curls always form by strands of hair combining to create loops and coils and waves. So what you see as fairytale, in my opinion is not fairytale. It's YOUR hair. Further, all hair at the ends taper. ALL hair. It's rare that this does not occur, but I've seen the evidence in 18 feet of hair and 6 feet of hair, and it's in my hair too.

If you want an idea of what your hair would look like straight and all more flattened out, you could curl your hair on large barrel rollers in thin strips or sections of hair, take it out after it's dry from being placed under a heat cap for a bit (and set on low), and then when dry take it out, comb it out, and you'll have a very different view of your hair.

Straight hair tends to be more honest because there's no air between the strands as is presented in curlier or wavier hair when it's all gathered up or laid out loose.

You want your hair to show like a straight haired person, but you simply don't have that kind of hair.

Relax and enjoy your recent accomplishment. If you aren't enjoying your hair along the way of gaining length, then you aren't doing it right.

ETA: You actually have nice hair, and the hair that a lot of people would love to have. You can go straight, curlier, simply wavy, style it and have lots of volume in an updo. You've got it all, baby! Be happy, and stop being so self-critical. END ETA

There just is not real need to cut as far as I can tell from these photos.
heidi w.

this is such good advice! I have wavy hair and thank you heidi w. for this advice! I really feel better about my hair after reading your comment!

and BoHemiAngel I'd stick to microtrims instead of chopping. I wanted to chop too a couple weeks ago and I am so glad I haven't.

Henrietta
April 10th, 2012, 12:02 PM
I was in a similar situation, close to hip with several inches or thin ends. After thinking about it for a while I cut to waist. I have still 1 or 2 inches of the old ends so I'll have to do 2 smaller trims, but I am really happy. It takes a week or two to get used to the fact that your hair is significantly shorter. 5 inches is not 0.5 inch, you really can feel it. But it is really worth it.
Feel free to go to my album and compare the newest (March) picture with the January one. Light yellow sweater shows how bad it was :D

jacqueline101
April 10th, 2012, 12:02 PM
Your ends look nice I'd do a micro trim.

Colourful
April 10th, 2012, 12:17 PM
Gorgeous hair!!

~BoHemiAngel~
April 11th, 2012, 12:33 PM
Well I was very fortunate to find a GREAT hairdresser who loves long hair! We decided on taking 2" off, which of course turns out to be more like 3" in the end, but in any event I AM SO HAPPY WITH IT!!! :happydance:

Before and after:
http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x322/hburgy/DSCN1332640x480.jpg http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x322/hburgy/DSCN1348600x440.jpg

And just because I think it looks better in a dark shirt, here's another before and after:

http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x322/hburgy/DSCN1338640x480.jpg http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x322/hburgy/DSCN1346600x440.jpg

I know it looks MUCH shorter in the after pictures, but that's only because she applied a lot of curl product and the length was eaten up in curls. But the hemline just looks so much FULLER now! And I'm still pretty much at waist!

Couldn't be happier with my decision... thank you all so much for your advice and encouragement! Now I'm going to be diligent about caring for my ends with catnip rinses, oiling, wearing it up, and hanging out in the 'Microtrimming and Maintaining club.' On to HIP!!!!! :D (well, another inch or so back to waist, and THEN on to hip!!)

XcaliburGirl
April 11th, 2012, 01:11 PM
It looks great! I like that it still forms those spirals on the ends, but it's definitely thicker.

It's so nice that you are happy about your decision.

TiffanieJean
April 11th, 2012, 01:26 PM
That really sucks. I would feel the same way if I were you... I'm almost at Hip length (FINALLY) and it would kill me to have to cut it right now. I guess if you want to have fuller ends I would say cut 2.5''-3'' :(

What oils do you use? I have been using Jojoba Oil for a while now and it has helped strengthen my hair a lot. I recently added Castor Oil, and love that as well. I do it every other week.

TiffanieJean
April 11th, 2012, 01:28 PM
I posted the last reply before I saw your Before/After Pics! Your hair looks great. Micro trims all the way for now on lol

lora410
April 11th, 2012, 01:37 PM
Your ends are very pretty and not fly away at all. We are more critical of our hair and see it as so much worse then it really is.

HintOfMint
April 11th, 2012, 01:42 PM
I would go for just a three inch cut. I would keep some of the taper since wavy hair looks better with a less blunt cut, but no more than that unless the ends annoy you.

ETA: Ack! Missed the update! Serves you right for having such a popular thread :-P
Your hair looks lovely! Great decision!

cfreya
April 11th, 2012, 02:52 PM
Wow the before and after is gorgeous, and I love the extra curly look the curl product has given you

kidari
April 11th, 2012, 06:30 PM
I would say cut 2 inches and then microtrim from there. I had a similar problem and cut from waist to BSL and now my ends are so blunt it's difficult to put up.

racrane
April 11th, 2012, 06:35 PM
I like your trim. It looks very pretty. But more important, I'm glad you're happy with it. :)

kidari
April 11th, 2012, 06:37 PM
I like your trim. It looks very pretty. But more important, I'm glad you're happy with it. :)

I had no idea! I went back and saw the pics and I agree. It looks beautiful.

long&blonde
April 11th, 2012, 06:59 PM
I think your hair and fairy tail ends look lovely too.
I agree with trying a leave-in,
And trying one of the wear your hair up challenges.
I wouldn't trim.
I'd put it up for a challenge,
Then practice benign neglect.

AMW
April 11th, 2012, 07:09 PM
It looks amazing! Your hair looks healthy and it is not too short. I did the same not too long ago and I don't regret it =)

Beckstar
April 11th, 2012, 08:18 PM
I'd suggest skipping the micro trims and go for 1/2" per month until your ends thicken up. Your hair is very pretty and doesn't look flyaway to me.

ETA: Nevermind. :cheese:

You do have gorgeous hair!