Urgent hair help needed for my Mum...

[joflakes]

Hi all,

My Mum went to the hairdressers at the weekend and got black stripped out of her hair. It was already very over processed.

It is her wedding in four days and wants to look her best, so what can you all suggest?

Here's a photo:

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q232/jobrookman/IMG_0080.jpg

I've already told her to lay off any heat and coconut oil or olive oil it, but is there anything else she can do to make it look better?

She's really self-conscious about it and hates it. I'm trying to persuade her that dying it again isn't the best idea.

Any ideas VERY much welcomed!

Thanks
Jo

[gabee]

I suggest a protein treatment, followed by an intense moisturizing deep conditioner, one that is full of cones.
For many people, cones really help mask damage and make hair appear healthier.
Good protein treatments that I haven't tried but have seen a lot are Aphogee and Joico K-Pak.
I personally use eggs when my hair needs protein; my favourite deep treatment includes eggs, coconut milk, honey and a splash of olive oil.

I think the most important thing to stress in this case, especially on the wedding day, is lots and lots of cones and a beautiful updo :)

[Charybdis]

Yes, if she's had a bunch of color processing, her hair probably needs protein. An updo may be the way to go for a wedding day style, since the canopy is probably more damaged than the hair underneath.

Congrats to your mum!

[Kaelee]

I agree. Protein, deep condition, deep condition, deep condition!

She may need to do a clarifying shampoo (I like the green V05) the day before/of her wedding, followed by deep conditioner (all that treatment may leave buildup.)

[Tisiloves]

Mega condition for all four days would be my advice, keep it soake in oil and/or conditioner depending on what your mum's hair likes and if she's having her hair up for the wedding oila bit for that as well. It worked on my peroxide and chlorine damaged ends so it might work for her too. She might want to try CO washing as well. Hope it helps.

[littleizz]

For long-term, definitely lots and lots of oils and deep conditioning. You could try that for the next few days, BUT, keep in mind that most stylists will ask that you don't wash your hair for a day or two before they try any updos.

[joflakes]

I'm doing her hair on the day so stylists won't be an issue!

Thanks all. I'll pass the message on. =)

[Anje]

I'll agree with some of the previous posters.

Do a protein treatment (which will be drying but will strengthen her over-processed hair), follow it with a moisture treatment immediately after you rinse it out. Then do moisture treatments every day.

Long-term, something like coconut oil will probably do her a lot of good by helping to replace lost essential fatty acids and preventing further protein loss. Smearing a tiny dab in her hair after the moisture treatments will probably be helpful, but be cautious how much you use for the wedding day, obviously.

ETA: It looks like her hair is curly. Make sure how you treat it will be appropriate for curly hair -- allow it to form clumps and moisturize it plenty. A copy of the Curly Girl book might not be a bad present.

[joflakes]

I'll agree with some of the previous posters.

Do a protein treatment (which will be drying but will strengthen her over-processed hair), follow it with a moisture treatment immediately after you rinse it out. Then do moisture treatments every day.

Long-term, something like coconut oil will probably do her a lot of good by helping to replace lost essential fatty acids and preventing further protein loss. Smearing a tiny dab in her hair after the moisture treatments will probably be helpful, but be cautious how much you use for the wedding day, obviously.

ETA: It looks like her hair is curly. Make sure how you treat it will be appropriate for curly hair -- allow it to form clumps and moisturize it plenty. A copy of the Curly Girl book might not be a bad present.

Thanks. I'll tell her.

Her hair is curly but she is always fighting it. I don't know what to suggest to her seeing as I am not curly!

[Darkessa]

Very very deep conditioning.
I would highly recommend doing a conditioner treatment first, then doing an oil treatment.
Leave each of these in for HOURS. Seriously... All day and overnight even.

For the wedding itself, try Jojoba oil (from what I hear its good with smoothing the hair and making it shiny) or possibly a smoothing serum.

I wish her the best! And Congrats on the wedding!

[heidi w.]

I suggest a protein treatment, followed by an intense moisturizing deep conditioner, one that is full of cones.
For many people, cones really help mask damage and make hair appear healthier.
Good protein treatments that I haven't tried but have seen a lot are Aphogee and Joico K-Pak.
I personally use eggs when my hair needs protein; my favourite deep treatment includes eggs, coconut milk, honey and a splash of olive oil.

I think the most important thing to stress in this case, especially on the wedding day, is lots and lots of cones and a beautiful updo :)

Since she had a color process or treatment performed on her hair, they absolutely should NOT have left her hair in this condition. The problem is that often in such circumstances, doing two processes one after the other can cause an issue. I would NOT suggest she guess and take matters into her own hands and assume she need protein. This can actually pose more problems in time.

Since her wedding is pending, I'd seek out a very experienced colorist, a stylist that ONLY colors, and seek their advice yet not decide anything right away.

I think a deep conditioning treatment could be helpful perhaps. I also recommend that for her wedding, she seek a stylist to organize an updo plan OR teach her how to do a given updo that she can do herself on the day of. ETA: She may also request what she can do with her hair while she's on a honeymoon -- assuming she's going on a honeymoon -- and if she's facing being in salted water, she may request additional information. Nobody wants to return from a honeymoon with frayed hair. I am thinking she needs a few updos for the meanwhile. END ETA

I recommend she lay off any heat treatments, any special processes. She may need to wait a minimum of 2 weeks before doing the next "process" because if she does it too early, she could be facing a massive hair shed or hair breakage if she acts too soon.

She needs informed help. Not guesses that may or may not work. I recommend she find a true professional who really knows what they're doing. It may cost some more money than she prefers, but it may save her a whole host of issues in the long run. ETA: This is my foundation for suggesting being wary of deciding to conduct a protein treatment because if it turns out to be the wrong thing, she could apply too much protein very easily without even knowing she's doing that, and serious and immediate hair breakage. This is a sign of too much OR too little protein, for example (hair breakage). I wouldn't guess on the protein idea. I would want to KNOW, and a strand test can tell us that. I also recommend she get a porosity test as well. Licensed colorists with experience should know how to do these, and know to not color to cover these issues up.

She is curly headed or wavy haired, it seems. So eventually, she may want to know about Curly Girl Conditioner Only hair washing methods.

heidi w.

[kittensoupnrice]

I'm coming late to the party.

I hope she's been doing the moisture treatments that everybody else has been recommending.

I also recommend (unlike everybody else) that you go ahead and heat style her hair.

I ordinarily wouldn't recommend heat and cone styling EVERY DAY, but for a wedding day I say GO FOR IT. Straighten, Curl, half updo, full updo, whatever it takes to make her feel fabulous. Hair products and styling tools are great at hiding damage and adding shine.

I do NOT recommend trying to fall back on things like the Curly Girl treatment and hope for the best. To me, it looks like her curl structure has been damaged, so if she wants to rock the curls, go with a curling iron and hair spray.

After her wedding, I second everything Heidi W. says.

[heidi w.]

Thanks. I'll tell her.

Her hair is curly but she is always fighting it. I don't know what to suggest to her seeing as I am not curly!

It would be best if she could figure out a way to stop asking her hair to behave differently from what she was given. She is under the illusion of older ideas of how to care for curly hair, and this is the crux of the majority of her frustrations. We now have Curly Girl, and Lorraine Massey, its author has done a lot to help frustrated curly haired people to understand their hair.

She probably would fare better if she used low to no sulfate shampoos which Curly Girl sells.

She needs a lot more moisture than other people. This is a basic premise that curly headed folks need. The problem can be "when" to apply it. Condition the length when hair washing, and she likely would fare better with a bit heavier conditioner than what she may be used to. She may need to consider applying oil while the hair is still wet, such as spritzing it on the hair while wet.

There's lots of info here on LHC for curly headed folks. The Curly Girl Handbook is the updated book after Curly Girl. Here's a link to see what the book looks like, and she now runs a website, too: Devashan (sp?) Salon which allows one to buy low sulfate shampoos for hair care.

Sulfates are known to dull the curls of curly headed folks.

But overall, she might fare better if she accepts what she has and works within that paradigm. She'll probably then, eventually, not be fighting her hair and asking it to be something it's not.

The book can help her accept herself a bit better. Gives food for thought at least.
http://www.andreasteed.com/node/1296
a blog about curly girl method being followed for 6 weeks. The pictures are similar to your mother's hair type, and are their own testimonial

The book, The Curly Girl Handbookhttp://www.amazon.com/Curly-Girl-Handbook-Lorraine-Massey/dp/076115678X

The first book, Curly Girlhttp://www.amazon.com/Curly-Girl-Lorraine-Massey/dp/0761123008

You can also google, Curly Girl Method, and will arrive at lots of hits to explore on the how-to of this method. I understand the Condition Only washing, which this author advocates for curly headed folks, for LHC and on LHC, I was told some time ago is somehow a bit different from Curly Girl books' instructions.

ETA: Lorraine Massey gives hairstylists' lessons on how to cut curly hair, how to wash curly hair, but most hairstylists have no idea of this information and have likely not attended a seminar of hers. For example, such hair is to be cut dry, only, so the stylist can check that too much isn't taken off. Because when one removes curl, the hair is lightened in weight, and the curl can be completely different then, and coil up and show a lot more was removed than actually was. She can show people how to cut this hair to help the coils lay better on the head and not stick out all about. Just stuff to know. When your Mom was young there was no information for her hair type, except perhaps under the methods of Black hair care. But they didn't have the internet back then, either. So, she was in a vaccuum of isolation. END ETA

heidi w.