Need ends advice?

[tokitoki]

Hey everyone,
I need some advice on how to better care for my ends. Here's the backstory:
I've never grown past my current length (an inch or two below BSL) because I hate the way my ends start to feel and chop them off. They get those L shaped bends, get really tangly, and start to feel rough. I haven't used a blowdryer or heat styler on my hair in over five years (okay I used a flat iron *once* during that time) and don't color my hair (except two small streaks that I had bleached and dyed pink a year ago - but I dont expect those to be healthy) so assuming a growth rate of .5 in/month (I'm not sure mine) 5 yrs * 6 in/yr = 30 inches which is longer than any of my hair, so my ends should be free from heat and chemical damage. I just bought a hairsense comb this past month, until then I'd only fingercombed. My hair is very wavy/loosely curly, if I let it air dry without touching it I can get ringlets about 1-1.5 inch (estimate) in diameter, but the longer I go without washing it the straighter it gets, and oiling and braiding or bunning stretches them out to looser waves.
So I just trimmed my hair a few weeks ago and resolved to protect my ends and finally break the trimming cycle. I've been doing CWC, oiling the ends with coconut oil, wearing my hair up with the ends tucked, and wrapping my hair in a scarf when I sleep for longer than that. And yet, my ends are already starting to bother me. I think that the damage is coming from my hair tangling a lot, even though I've been trying to avoid tangles by combing it and wearing it up. I feel like my hair just always tangles itself because of the wave, no matter what I do. I know that damage can cause tangles too, but I just can't figure out where the damage could be coming from, other than the tangles.
SO. Sorry that was so long. I'm just trying to provide all the pertinent info. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm looking for advice on what to do/ideas of what I might be doing wrong. Thanks in advance for responding or even just reading all this!

[jeanniet]

My hair is similar to yours, and I know just what you're saying. My hair tangles very easily, especially on the ends, in part because it has a mix of hairs from fine to coarse and the curl wraps them around each other. I'm always trying to keep my ends as smooth as possible. S & D does help quite a bit, because all those split and bent hairs catch other hairs. I also spray my ends with distilled water before I put on my sleep cap at night, and that seems to help them stay a bit more moisturized.

You may need to clarify periodically if you don't do that already. I also have started microtrimming every month (just a wee bit, about 1/4") to freshen up my ends. This doesn't seem to slow my growth a noticeable amount. Another thing you could check out is the mineral oil thread; I didn't have a good result using it, but many people seem to, so I think it's worth a shot.

[Pierre]

You may need to do regular S&D. I used to, but don't need to any more.

How do you detangle? I get in the shower and comb out shed hairs; if any hairs are tangled within about 1 cm of all the ends involved, I snip off the tangle. Many people use condish when doing this; I don't, because my hair is hennaed and oiled.

[MeowScat]

^^ I agree with the clarifying and S&D. It sounds like you're doing a lot of good things. :)

We have different hairtypes, but I went through the BSL tangly ends and it drove me nuts! I always wanted to chop it off, sometimes I did. I finally learned to have patience and wear it up. That length was a nightmare for me with tangles. I would turn my head a few times and BAM!...instant tangles. I found that once I got past the mid-back abyss, that type of tangling wasn't such a problem anymore.

IMHO, if you want longer hair, microtrim and S&D instead of a chop. You can always cut more if you want, but once it's gone...the waiting game to get back to where you were can be so frustrating.

p.s. 2 - 3 drops of Mineral Oil (Baby Oil) on my length helps with tangles, too.
:D

[longhairedleah]

I agree with the S&D, but also suggest occasionally doing protein and/or moisture treatments occasionally too to strengthen your hair.

My hair used to be a curlier version of yours I think, just full of splits making my ends feel like a broom! I'd still have splits no matter how much hair was cut off! But ever since S&Ding regularly and my beloved mayonnaise treatments, my hair has been fantastic, and I only trim in order to thicken my hemline.

Also, I very recently found that cinnamon buns aren't all that protective for my hair, I've kind of been doing my own little version of a rolled up gibson tuck (with spin pins, no elastics!) instead to protect my ends cuz I have layers, and I think that's been helping.

Tucking just the ends in isn't good enough for me, cuz I think it also pulls at those weak spots on my hair...
So maybe think about whether your protective styles are really protective for your hair?

[Laylah]

I have pretty much the same hairtype as you... very wavy with some spiral curls. I got the dreaded "velcro ends" when I first reached tailbone because I had been growing without trimming since waist so I would get to tailbone faster. After maintaining at tailbone (a few months and 2 small trims) my ends are fine. If your ends really bother you, you could maintain at your current length for a little while before continuing, or if they're not that bad you could try reaching your goal length first (since you're only 3 inches away) and then maintaining for a few months.

Also, another thing is when you have curls, if you break up the spiral by combing or braiding, the ends with tend to tangle more because they're curling in different directions. You can prevent this by putting some heavy moisturizer on the bottom inch or so of your hair, like shea butter mixed with a bit of oil or a thick leave in conditioner. This is what works for me, because it helps weigh down the broken up curls so they don't frizz up and tangle so much.

[tokitoki]

Thanks for all the thoughtful comments and advice! I think they all make a lot of sense. I will try to S&D consistently and look into using mineral oil for tangles, and look into more protective style options.
Pierre, I mostly detangle in the shower when i put conditioner in, but lately I've been trying to detangle every day (more often than I shower) so I've been combing it dry with just some oil in it. I wonder if it's better to comb it less often, or more? Cutting off the tangles that get caught on the ends seems like a great idea, as I've noticed those always look bent when I do get them out.
Thanks everyone!

[dRummie]

Your hair seems very similar mine. First thing I would try is clarifying. CWC is a lot of conditioner, and with oil on top of that you can easily get buildup, which can also cause tangling. I ended up with tons of damage to my ends the first time I tried oiling my braid tassels at night like I'd read about. I used way too much oil, and together with all the conditioner (I was also CWC-ing) it built up quickly. However, being new, I had only read that "oil makes hair softer" and didn't consider buildup, so the the worse my ends felt, the more oil I thought I needed.
A few weeks is way too short for normal wear-and-tear, and your situation sounds a lot like mine, so my money's on that. Of course, even if clarifying helps, you will need to S&D to get rid of the existing damage.