Just need to rant... GRR!

[caadam]

So, one of my cousins put up a picture on Facebook of her hair earlier today. Her hair is actually pretty nice; it's straight, black, has some red and purple highlights.

I had asked her if she was planning on growing it longer, because it was WL already, and she said she was trying to, which I thought was cool. I decided to just suggest she trim only when she really needed to so her hair could grow longer on its own, because someone had suggested she trim every month. I thought it kind of self-defeating if she trimmed every month if she was planning to grow it.

Her response was, "Actually a trim every month helps to prevent split ends :) and it's usually not even a half inch people cut off." (which is not true lol most of us know that)

And I was like, "Sure, if you tend to do a lot of mechanical/chemical/heat damage to your hair, then yeah, a trim a month is usually needed. I can understand that. But I don't do those things and I didn't have to trim for over a year before I saw just a few splits. That's when I trimmed."

She said, "Yeah you definitely don't want to go a year without trimming . I am completely aware of all the factors that go into maintaining a style or what needs to be done to accomplish what a person wants didn't spend 20k to be a hair stylist for nothing."



...Like, excuse me! lol I guess I'm just common folk—what do I know?

It really puts me off that some hair stylists have an attitude like this. It's so passive aggressive and arrogant.

Another thing: I didn't know she was going to school to be a hair stylist. Most of this part of the family tends to be distant, but she and I have usually been friendly acquaintances. I don't know much about her personal life.

But really? Like, because I'm not a hair stylist, I don't know what I'm talking about? As though I might not have the potential to know? Crappy attitude.

Rant done. lol

[skydancer7]

Aaah, yes. Advice is usually better received after it has been asked for. I know how frustrating it can be, though, to have some great ideas but no one wants to hear it :D

[caadam]

I guess it's because I don't mind being given advice even if I don't ask for it. lol Like, I just interpret it as someone wanting to help and it being a positive thing. I don't see any harm in it.

[Hollyfire3]

Let her find out for herself that she is wrong, dead wrong. Don't feel bad, arrogant people annoy me to NO end, but by not responding, you rise above them. She is NO better than you for thinking she knows it all, you are right, you know this, she doesn't and it isn't worth convicing her. Maybe try again at another time ad show her your hair and how nice it looks without monthly trims (unless you trim monthly, in that case send her here!) and PROVE she isn't right, maybe seeing it for herself is what she needs.

[Hollyfire3]

I guess it's because I don't mind being given advice even if I don't ask for it. lol Like, I just interpret it as someone wanting to help and it being a positive thing. I don't see any harm in it.


I tend to give advice only when asked, but opinons, oh they another ting all together lol! I give my opinons to many...there is no harm in you giving her advice, its only harming herself not to even consider it. Don't feel bad, its her loss.

[caadam]

Let her find out for herself that she is wrong, dead wrong. Don't feel bad, arrogant people annoy me to NO end, but by not responding, you rise above them. She is NO better than you for thinking she knows it all, you are right, you know this, she doesn't and it isn't worth convicing her. Maybe try again at another time ad show her your hair and how nice it looks without monthly trims (unless you trim monthly, in that case send her here!) and PROVE she isn't right, maybe seeing it for herself is what she needs.

I didn't respond after she wrote that last comment. I saw it as, "You know nothing, Candie, so go away." And I did. lol I just didn't want to deal with it. It wasn't worth it.

But I might just link her to LHC. It might freak her out, though. lol Although, she might get angry if she saw this thread. >___>

[Kelikea]

Well, you can just snicker quietly to yourself as she cuts off her average 1/2 inch of growth a month and then wonders why her hair won't grow.

[caadam]

Well, you can just snicker quietly to yourself as she cuts off her average 1/2 inch of growth a month and then wonders why her hair won't grow.

I spoke to my mother about this concept because she went to cosmetology school back in the day. She said, "It's just a ploy to make people feel like they have to trim every month, which in turn makes them spend more money at salons." Which makes sense.

And exactly! I can understand the idea of trimming to prevent and to maintain a hair style, but if you're trying to grow your hair out, then trimming every month makes little sense, especially when there's no damage to trim. It's like... I would rather trim ONCE a year, that way I'm only trimming off an inch or two and still have 10+ inches of growth left to enjoy! What a concept! :D

[Hollyfire3]

I spoke to my mother about this concept because she went to cosmetology school back in the day. She said, "It's just a ploy to make people feel like they have to trim every month, which in turn makes them spend more money at salons." Which makes sense.

And exactly! I can understand the idea of trimming to prevent and to maintain a hair style, but if you're trying to grow your hair out, then trimming every month makes little sense, especially when there's no damage to trim. It's like... I would rather trim ONCE a year, that way I'm only trimming off an inch or two and still have 10+ inches of growth left to enjoy! What a concept! :D

I know right?! But i still worry that the damage of not trimming for a year will now be the bottom of my hair, so although it will be longer, it may not be healthier....well, i guess thats only if you use heat or have heat damage (i have damage although i cut out the heat) so it makes sense for those who damage their hair more to trim more if they want decent hair, so sorry for them.....

[Hollyfire3]

I didn't respond after she wrote that last comment. I saw it as, "You know nothing, Candie, so go away." And I did. lol I just didn't want to deal with it. It wasn't worth it.

But I might just link her to LHC. It might freak her out, though. lol Although, she might get angry if she saw this thread. >___>


Your right, NOT worth dealing with, good move, you know your right and know MUCH more than her in the ways of proper hair care, so don't bother putting yourself down, she should feel bad for being nasty and should appoligize and admit she know little to NOTHING about hair care, alright jking ont he last part, but wouldn't it be nice?

[Amber_Maiden]

Well, that was a bit rude- her, not you. She should have at least been nice about the advice you gave her. Hate Facebook!

[caadam]

I know right?! But i still worry that the damage of not trimming for a year will now be the bottom of my hair, so although it will be longer, it may not be healthier....well, i guess thats only if you use heat or have heat damage (i have damage although i cut out the heat) so it makes sense for those who damage their hair more to trim more if they want decent hair, so sorry for them.....

Yeah. It's reasonable that if you do a little more with your hair, you would have to trim more often. I advocate trimming only when needed, and that's different for everyone.

But I don't do a lot of damage to my hair. I wash it with water, do scalp massages, comb it, and sometimes put oil on the length when it needs some moisture. No heat, no chemicals, and no hair products. One trim a year is all I need. lol :) But even if you have to trim twice a year, or three times, it would STILL leave you with a couple to a few more inches than trimming every month, you know? Trim when you need to, not when you're told to. I think a lot of us have learned that.

I guess it also makes me irritated that she gave the impression that she felt I couldn't know how to handle my own hair just because I'm not a hair stylist and she is (or working on becoming). Like, can I not pay attention to my own hair, see what it likes, what it doesn't; take care of it and maintain it myself? I don't need to be a hair stylist to do that. I don't need to be a hair stylist to know the basics of how the scalp and hair work.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate those hair stylists that work hard to do their best and learn the trade. I have a lot of respect for that.

What I don't appreciate is that attitude she, as an aspiring hair stylist, expressed towards me.

ETA: I actually have only been WO for about two weeks, though. Before that I was CO washing, but even then, you know? Blugh.

[caadam]

Well, that was a bit rude- her, not you. She should have at least been nice about the advice you gave her. Hate Facebook!

Well, she tried to give all the little smilies, like the impression of being nice, but it's not hard to see she was being passive aggressive. lol Ah, well... she made her point.

And I don't really like Facebook either. I only use it to keep in contact with a few friends here and there and some family members. I don't post anything personal on my FB page because some people on that site just feed off the personal junk.

[spidermom]

I had a lot less problem with split ends when I got my hair trimmed every 6-8 weeks. It gained about 5-1/2 inches new length per year with that schedule.

I can't afford to go for trims that often anymore. But I'm going to trim my hair a lot more often than once or twice a year from now on. These splits, white dots, etc are driving me insane! (and no, I don't do a lot of damaging things to my hair; it gets consistent LHC care)

[caadam]

I had a lot less problem with split ends when I got my hair trimmed every 6-8 weeks. It gained about 5-1/2 inches new length per year with that schedule.

I can't afford to go for trims that often anymore. But I'm going to trim my hair a lot more often than once or twice a year from now on. These splits, white dots, etc are driving me insane! (and no, I don't do a lot of damaging things to my hair; it gets consistent LHC care)

I don't think one wouldn't get growth if one trimmed every month. I just reason that one would get more growth if one trimmed less than trimming every month. :) That was the point I was trying to make with my cousin, but she wasn't having it. lol And also the fact that I didn't need to trim every month, bla bla bla.

But you do what you gotta do. That's why I said the whole "trim when you need to, not when you're told to." And if someone has to trim every month because they have to, then that's how it is. It's just not that way for everyone. She didn't understand that.