Rough hairdressers?

[afu]

Does anyone else have a problem with hairdressers being too rough with their hair? If I could accept my natural hair colour i wouldn't be having this problem, as it is i just can't let go of my bleach highlights! I love the fact that when i've had it done my hair is a nice colour, but thats where my joy ends!

My hairdresser (and all that i've been to) are just not gentle enough :( , particularly when washing. She piles all my hair into a big ball and scrubs away (although i have to say she's pretty good at head massages) and then wonders why my hair is all knotted up afterwards. She always says to me 'does your hair always get this knotty?' and everytime i reply that i hardly ever get knots, especially after conditioning in the shower. She then proceeds to vigorously tugging a brush through and i can't help but cringe at all the breakage which must be occuring. I don't let her dry it, i leave it wet and go straight home and put a deep conditioning/oil treatment on for a few hours.

Everytime i tell myself 'don't stress out - it's a reletively rare occurance' but i can't help it.

Does anyone else have this trouble? and has anyone found a way to try and get their hairdresser to be more gentle without insulting them?!

[Also, bit of an extra question - i use coconut oil on my lengths but have read about how it reduces damage from bleaching if applied beforehand - does anyone know how much is best to apply?]

[Ravenwind]

The only problem I have with hairdressers is that they start combing the hair at the roots >.< plus they always hit my ears with the combs/brushes.

[Bunnysaur]

My hairdresser is usually pretty gentle with my hair. He always uses an awesome conditioner and never runs a brush through it like that. You might just have bad luck with them.
If you don't already, you might try going to a "fancy" salon. All the "fancy" salons I've gone to have awesome hairdressers that are usually pretty gentle with my hair.

[Amber_Maiden]

I'd change hairdressers, honestly. I will probably be cutting my own hair now, because of all the bad experiences I've had. Hairdressers do not change, or at least not easily.

You put enough coconut oil on so that where you are bleaching is fully covered. Depends how thick your hair is as well.

[Darkessa]

I used to have that problem all the time with hairdressers.
I never really cared though, since I wasnt trying to grow it long.

If I experienced that these days, I would definitely say something about it.
If you are worried about the way she washes and combs/brushes it, say something. If she is any kind of decent person who wants to keep a customer... She will listen.
If she doesnt listen, well then I personally wouldnt feel bad about leaving her for someone nicer.

Thats just me though. If someone is serving me and I am paying them to do so... Im the boss. I am not afraid to tell people what I want/need in those situations.
I obviously do it nicely, because that is just the right thing to do... But I dont mind sticking up for the health of myself/my hair!

[Amarante]

Maybe you could try saying something like 'I don't usually have any problems when I detangle with my wide-toothed comb' or something like that to suggest she use one rather than a brush. Or maybe suggest she let you detangle it yourself?

[Amber_Maiden]

My hairdresser is usually pretty gentle with my hair. He always uses an awesome conditioner and never runs a brush through it like that. You might just have bad luck with them.
If you don't already, you might try going to a "fancy" salon. All the "fancy" salons I've gone to have awesome hairdressers that are usually pretty gentle with my hair.

Fancy salons aren't always careful or gentle. I had my last bad experience at a very huh end salon- $150 for a haircut! NUTS!!! And they were NOT gentle with my hair, and insisted on straightening, even after I asked them not to- and they kept putting the straighter way too close to my scalp, burning me! Same went for when they blow-dried my hair- got way too close to my scalp, and even after my repeated complaints, kept doing it!

[Hyacinth]

I've had to tell my hairdressers that I have a more sensitive scalp then most people, hoping they may take that as a hint to be careful. Mostly what pains me is the hairdryer and letting it get too close for my scalp. Going to the hairdresser now won't be such a regular occurance, but I like the idea of telling them NOT to dry the hair & then go home & condition/dry yourself.

[millyaulait]

Oh, my - yes!

The one thing I really don't like is when the hair-washer SCRAPES her nails across my scalp and rubs my hair together to make it lather.

There is just no need for that!

I am pretty scared of hair salons now, even if I speak to them prior & tell them how fragile my hair is. :(

[barely.there]

keep looking around at other salons or just stop going.

once i asked a lady for a LAYERED TRIM and she just cut the very bottom layer of my hair. once side was 1/2 inch longer than the other. when I tried to inquiry into what she was doing, she told me "i have XXXXXXX years experience". essentially, "stfu".

the last time I was at a hairdressers, she used a round plastic bristle brush to smooth down my hair while blowdrying. it hurt so much T_T my hair is usually dry, so the velcro hair didnt help. I did ask her to be careful though and that it hurt. she calmed down a bit after that.

the best luck I've had with hairdressers, is when you are getting a completely new style. this basically gives them a "blank canvas" to work on, rather than touching up someone elses work. so I would suggest, in between stylings - learn to trim your own hair for basic upkeep.

[barely.there]

***I should also add:

do your hair washing regime at home, and come into the salon with sopping wet hair. should help both parties!!

[Woods Nymph]

I always wash my hair an hour or so before going to the hairdresser; that stops her doing it, at least. I also detangle reeeeeally well before I go, then put it up with hairsticks, so when I let it down, little to no detangling is necessary.
If you're anything like me, it's hard to actually say something about it to the hairdresser.
I guess I need to be more like Darkessa!

ETA: Aaah! barely.there beat me to it! :)

[PixxieStix]

My last 8 years of experience with hairdressers, I've had short hair, so the washing and combing never seemed painful or rough to me, but the next time I go to a hair dresser, you bet I'll be very, very careful about letting them know what they may or may not do to my hair, and if my new stylist I'm seeing on Friday listens and treats me and my hair the way I expect her to, she'll have a customer (albeit only once or twice a year) for life!

[Pecheresse]

Ever since I can remember hairdressers have always put me in a horrible state of stress. Even for just a quick trim, I knew damn right they would mess up something. The water is always too hot/they cut too much/they pull your hair like crazy when doing a brushing/the heat blower is just too damn hot/the special highlight products made me teary and my left ear ache. One day, I spent a whole afternoon trying to dye my red-colored hair back to blond, having the hairdresser panic and do stupid stuff. I left like 200$ on the counter & cried all the tears I could at the few inches she cut.
It's criminal that hairdressers have the nerve to say stuff like : " trust me I know what I'm doing"... HA! :bs:

Some people used to tell me it was actually a relaxing time going to the hairdresser? I have a better time rubbing my scalp with coconut oil and giving my hair some good TLC.:pegasus:

[gretchen_hair]

I don't understand why so many people makes these posts and ask the same thing but never say anything at all to the hairdresser?

I always alert the stylist as to what I want done with my hair, I always go with clean hair, usually damp. But even when I had my hair washed by someone in the salon, I never had a rough experience, if they were rough at all, I tell them, if they continue, I stop them and either do it myself or I would leave. :shrug:

I don't understand why people allow these stylists to treat them rough, do crazy things to their hair, cut their hair in a way that they don't like and then tell everyone that they did these things. Why don't they just tell the stylist immediately?

This always confuses me.

[Darkessa]

I always wash my hair an hour or so before going to the hairdresser; that stops her doing it, at least. I also detangle reeeeeally well before I go, then put it up with hairsticks, so when I let it down, little to no detangling is necessary.
If you're anything like me, it's hard to actually say something about it to the hairdresser.
I guess I need to be more like Darkessa!

ETA: Aaah! barely.there beat me to it! :)

Hahaha. I may not be very old, but it did take quite a few years of me just letting crap like this happen before I realized that I DO have a voice and I am allowed to use it. lol
Im not sure where exactly that confidence came from, but man Im glad it finally popped up.

[caadam]

I've not have a terrible experience like the ones here. Thank goodness, but man... :( I feel for you all. </3

The only time I had an upsetting experience is when a hair stylist was trying to tell me how I should do my hair rather than just letting me hair my hair how I wanted it cut. This was probably a few years ago, and my hair was at my waist, but not in the best condition (it was years before I found LHC! :D), and I wanted it cut up to just past my shoulders.

The hair stylist, who was sporting a loooong mane of straight, black, TBL hair, frowned and shook her head at me. "You should keep your hair long. Men like long hair."

Me: "Uh... I guess, but I want to just have my hair cut to here *points to back of shoulders*"

Stylist: "No. It won't look good! Just cut off an inch and it'll look fine."

Me: "...But, I don't want it to stay this long."

I used to be a very intimidated person, so eventually, after having this stylist lecture me on how I was wrong and she was right, I let her just cut off an inch. I left upset, and my mother was upset, too, because she was the one paying for the hair cut. lol Some stylists just need to learn how to do what the customer wants.

[afu]

I don't understand why so many people makes these posts and ask the same thing but never say anything at all to the hairdresser?

I always alert the stylist as to what I want done with my hair, I always go with clean hair, usually damp. But even when I had my hair washed by someone in the salon, I never had a rough experience, if they were rough at all, I tell them, if they continue, I stop them and either do it myself or I would leave. :shrug:

I don't understand why people allow these stylists to treat them rough, do crazy things to their hair, cut their hair in a way that they don't like and then tell everyone that they did these things. Why don't they just tell the stylist immediately?

This always confuses me.

The thing is that i have no choice with having it washed at the salon (I'd much rather just go home and do it myself) but the bleach needs washing off. Also, the major problem is the technique they use to wash it - as it is only messing up my hair and not actually hurting me i don't know know what to say to her, i just need a bit of help with how to word it. I know the job is made harder for them by the fact that they have no choice put to bundle the hair into those little sinks so i'm not actually sure if it's avoidable

[Pecheresse]

I don't understand why so many people makes these posts and ask the same thing but never say anything at all to the hairdresser?

I always alert the stylist as to what I want done with my hair, I always go with clean hair, usually damp. But even when I had my hair washed by someone in the salon, I never had a rough experience, if they were rough at all, I tell them, if they continue, I stop them and either do it myself or I would leave. :shrug:

I don't understand why people allow these stylists to treat them rough, do crazy things to their hair, cut their hair in a way that they don't like and then tell everyone that they did these things. Why don't they just tell the stylist immediately?

This always confuses me.

You are right to mention this. The reason why I (personally) never quite complained is because I assumed they knew what they were doing. I really thought alerting the stylist would make them even grumpy-er and make even more of a mess of my hair. I know it sounds silly. It makes sense though, because if I did know back then everything I know right now, I wouldn't of given them hairdressers so much credit to begin with.

[heidi w.]

Does anyone else have a problem with hairdressers being too rough with their hair? If I could accept my natural hair colour i wouldn't be having this problem, as it is i just can't let go of my bleach highlights! I love the fact that when i've had it done my hair is a nice colour, but thats where my joy ends!

My hairdresser (and all that i've been to) are just not gentle enough :( , particularly when washing. She piles all my hair into a big ball and scrubs away (although i have to say she's pretty good at head massages) and then wonders why my hair is all knotted up afterwards. She always says to me 'does your hair always get this knotty?' and everytime i reply that i hardly ever get knots, especially after conditioning in the shower. She then proceeds to vigorously tugging a brush through and i can't help but cringe at all the breakage which must be occuring. I don't let her dry it, i leave it wet and go straight home and put a deep conditioning/oil treatment on for a few hours.

Everytime i tell myself 'don't stress out - it's a reletively rare occurance' but i can't help it.

Does anyone else have this trouble? and has anyone found a way to try and get their hairdresser to be more gentle without insulting them?!

[Also, bit of an extra question - i use coconut oil on my lengths but have read about how it reduces damage from bleaching if applied beforehand - does anyone know how much is best to apply?]

No amount of oiling is going to prevent the damage incurred from bleaching. I have no idea where you got that from, but it can't be LHC. Bleaching is fairly damaging to hair, and once hair is damaged, it's damaged. One can't glue hair back together.

These hairdressers apparently don't know about long hair, and most salons only have bowls for long hair, and no kind of tube system for hair to lay out in. With such hair, they should be using a detangler spray to help with the tangle problem that occurs when we ball all the hair up and scrub. What a boob!! I think you should say something, such as I used to do. I used to alert hairdressers that I was a tender head.

I also never allowed a salon to wash my hair. I get my hair trimmed while dry. For bleaching they often have to do pre-work to set the hair up to take the bleach.

Hopefully, someday you grow out of the idea of needing to bleach your hair, and accept what the good lord gave you. I know it's fashionable to color hair relatively young now, but it isn't the best idea for hair integrity and best care of hair.

But, in the end, its your hair and life, and your decision.
heidi w.

[spidermom]

I've had hair stylists start to be a bit rough, but I don't put up with it.
I will say something like "let me comb it out; it's a pain for anybody else to do it."

I've also gone with clean, wet, detangled hair. It usually costs less that way, too.

[Cleopatra18]

Oh god YES! ALL the stylists I have been "blessed" with are so rough. I'm not saying all stylists are bad but man I must have the worst luck ever.
Since I joined LHC over 2 years ago and started paying attention to what they actually do to my hair I have never been pleased even once with my visit. mind you, I don't even ask for special stuff, no dye or highlights or treatments or whatever, just a trim sometimes, and a blowdry/ flat iron.
I was actually going to make a thread about this before but got lazy, but can I just please BURN ALL THE RAT TAIL COMBS IN THE WORLD! All my stylists use it for everything!
I don't understand why would you detangle someone's hair with a rat tail comb! and in my last visit I brought my wide tooth comb with me and after she washed my hair I attempted to detangle my wet hair with it (yes wet, it was going to happen anyway so it was rather me than her doing it) and she looked at me and was like " woah, what are you doing? you think you can detangle your hair with that?" and she hands me a rat tail comb and she goes like "there, that's the right way to do it" ofcourse I didn't listen to her and kept using my wide comb then she proceeded to take on the process using my comb, and started detangling and I lost so much hair god knows why. I was shocked as my hair was in perfect condition, no shedding, no major tangling nothing.
when she looked at the gaint hair ball she was like "wow that's so much hair, it must be your comb.. =/ "
Obviously, by that time I was having a mini rage attack but tried to control myself as I was in no mood for a fight.
The second thing is how she blow dries my hair. That annoying round brush that just tears and tears my hair while sticking the blow drier nozzle directly onto the hair.
No wonder my hair is full of splits and stuff whenever I use heat.
I will never think about washing my hair at the salon again because they just mash all the hair together in a gallon of shampoo then use some deep conditioner which they pretend to be the best thing in the world, only to find out later it's some cheapo from the store next door.
yeah, I better think a thousand times before I step foot in a salon again. =/ It actually used to be one of my favorate places. I guess sometimes ignorance is bliss.

[ktani]

Does anyone else have a problem with hairdressers being too rough with their hair? If I could accept my natural hair colour i wouldn't be having this problem, as it is i just can't let go of my bleach highlights! I love the fact that when i've had it done my hair is a nice colour, but thats where my joy ends!

My hairdresser (and all that i've been to) are just not gentle enough :( , particularly when washing. She piles all my hair into a big ball and scrubs away (although i have to say she's pretty good at head massages) and then wonders why my hair is all knotted up afterwards. She always says to me 'does your hair always get this knotty?' and everytime i reply that i hardly ever get knots, especially after conditioning in the shower. She then proceeds to vigorously tugging a brush through and i can't help but cringe at all the breakage which must be occuring. I don't let her dry it, i leave it wet and go straight home and put a deep conditioning/oil treatment on for a few hours.

Everytime i tell myself 'don't stress out - it's a reletively rare occurance' but i can't help it.

Does anyone else have this trouble? and has anyone found a way to try and get their hairdresser to be more gentle without insulting them?!

[Also, bit of an extra question - i use coconut oil on my lengths but have read about how it reduces damage from bleaching if applied beforehand - does anyone know how much is best to apply?]

I suggest changing hairstylists too unless it is just the person washing your hair who appears cluless as to how to help prevent unnecessary hair damage.

As to how much coconut oil, this is the short version, http://ktanihairsense.blogspot.ca/2009/11/part-1-of-3-part-series-on-innovative.html.

[heidi w.]

Oh god YES! ALL the stylists I have been "blessed" with are so rough. I'm not saying all stylists are bad but man I must have the worst luck ever.
Since I joined LHC over 2 years ago and started paying attention to what they actually do to my hair I have never been pleased even once with my visit. mind you, I don't even ask for special stuff, no dye or highlights or treatments or whatever, just a trim sometimes, and a blowdry/ flat iron.
I was actually going to make a thread about this before but got lazy, but can I just please BURN ALL THE RAT TAIL COMBS IN THE WORLD! All my stylists use it for everything!
I don't understand why would you detangle someone's hair with a rat tail comb! and in my last visit I brought my wide tooth comb with me and after she washed my hair I attempted to detangle my wet hair with it (yes wet, it was going to happen anyway so it was rather me than her doing it) and she looked at me and was like " woah, what are you doing? you think you can detangle your hair with that?" and she hands me a rat tail comb and she goes like "there, that's the right way to do it" ofcourse I didn't listen to her and kept using my wide comb then she proceeded to take on the process using my comb, and started detangling and I lost so much hair god knows why. I was shocked as my hair was in perfect condition, no shedding, no major tangling nothing.
when she looked at the gaint hair ball she was like "wow that's so much hair, it must be your comb.. =/ "
Obviously, by that time I was having a mini rage attack but tried to control myself as I was in no mood for a fight.
The second thing is how she blow dries my hair. That annoying round brush that just tears and tears my hair while sticking the blow drier nozzle directly onto the hair.
No wonder my hair is full of splits and stuff whenever I use heat.
I will never think about washing my hair at the salon again because they just mash all the hair together in a gallon of shampoo then use some deep conditioner which they pretend to be the best thing in the world, only to find out later it's some cheapo from the store next door.
yeah, I better think a thousand times before I step foot in a salon again. =/ It actually used to be one of my favorate places. I guess sometimes ignorance is bliss.

The above situation/experience is completely unnecessary. I do not need any special treatments, and only ever really need a trim, although I often allow a friend of mine to do it if I really need a trim.

First, wash your own hair prior to an appointment.
Second, come in with clean hair.
Third, bring your own comb.

If they claim they need to do a trim with wet hair, firstly, they're making stuff up. At most, they may spritz which helps a bit, but there is NO reason to entirely wash the hair.

Fourthly, if they do wash your hair, bring in your own detangling spray, in case none is available in the salon.

Fifthly (I don't honestly believe this is a word, but we'll go with it.....), I ALWAYS entirely detangle my own hair and tell the dresser when I'm ready. Of course, I have stick straight hair, so that makes things a bit easier. But this all can apply just as easily for curlier hair types. I trim my hair completely dry, never wet.

A person using a rat tail comb to detangle hair is an IDIOT! They're just being lazy. No other explanation. It's obvious why one doesn't use a fine-toothed comb or regular width (in terms of teeth) comb on long hair to detangle. It becomes obvious in 3-5 minutes why this doesn't work. To ignore the obvious is a kind of idiotic undertaking.

Just make it easier: comb it yourself with your own comb.

AND for Heaven's Sake: speak up, say something, don't put up with it. If it hurts, say something. Absolutely. Tip well, or at least be prepared to tip well, if you can at all afford to tip. Build that rapport with a quality hairdresser. Just about every hairdresser I've met has learned something from me. You want someone with no need to prove their ego and use your hair as a platform to express themselves!!

heidi w.

[Bunnysaur]

Fancy salons aren't always careful or gentle. I had my last bad experience at a very huh end salon- $150 for a haircut! NUTS!!! And they were NOT gentle with my hair, and insisted on straightening, even after I asked them not to- and they kept putting the straighter way too close to my scalp, burning me! Same went for when they blow-dried my hair- got way too close to my scalp, and even after my repeated complaints, kept doing it!

WOAH. I'm gonna guess that my experiences have been the exception, not the rule, then. Your poor hair... :(

[Pecheresse]

Oh yeah they want to straighten your hair to get a few more $$$ then they get all grumpy when you say you just want to have it naturally dried. The pressure!

[dulce]

When I used to go to salons,I would request to comb out/detangle my own hair[hated the ripping sounds from their in a hurry rough comb outs]

[Honeyfall]

Oh I know exactly what you mean! My last hairdresser made my ear bleed when the comb she was ripping through my hair caught it. It didn't catch on an earring, just the ear itself. I am still not sure how it happened, but I do remember that she was looking back over her shoulder and talking to another hairdresser at the time, and no she wasn't fresh out of training when this happened.

So I don't go to hairdressers anymore. I am sure there are many lovely women (and men) out there who can do amazing things with hair, I've just never had any luck finding them. :(

[dulce]

I also left with wet hair as I didn't want their blowdrying, flat ironing or straightening or gels,mousses on my hair.Finally quit going all together as I got fed up with poor cuts.Life is much easier now.

[afu]

Oh yeah they want to straighten your hair to get a few more $$$ then they get all grumpy when you say you just want to have it naturally dried. The pressure!

My hairdresser (who is an advanced trainee, just about to qualify) always looks so disappointed when i won't let her dry/straighten/cut it - i think she thinks she's doing an incomplete job and misses seeing the end result (dry, so she can see the full colour). I refuse to let her have her way with those, i just wish my hair didn't have to be bundled into that little sink to get all knotty :(

[afu]

I suggest changing hairstylists too unless it is just the person washing your hair who appears cluless as to how to help prevent unnecessary hair damage.

As to how much coconut oil, this is the short version, http://ktanihairsense.blogspot.ca/2009/11/part-1-of-3-part-series-on-innovative.html.

Thank you Ktani :) and yes it seems to be the hairwash that causes the biggest problem, but i cant see a way to get around it with those salon sinks

[CarpeDM]

Does anyone else have a problem with hairdressers being too rough with their hair? If I could accept my natural hair colour i wouldn't be having this problem, as it is i just can't let go of my bleach highlights! I love the fact that when i've had it done my hair is a nice colour, but thats where my joy ends!

My hairdresser (and all that i've been to) are just not gentle enough :( , particularly when washing. She piles all my hair into a big ball and scrubs away (although i have to say she's pretty good at head massages) and then wonders why my hair is all knotted up afterwards. She always says to me 'does your hair always get this knotty?' and everytime i reply that i hardly ever get knots, especially after conditioning in the shower. She then proceeds to vigorously tugging a brush through and i can't help but cringe at all the breakage which must be occuring. I don't let her dry it, i leave it wet and go straight home and put a deep conditioning/oil treatment on for a few hours.

Everytime i tell myself 'don't stress out - it's a reletively rare occurance' but i can't help it.

Does anyone else have this trouble? and has anyone found a way to try and get their hairdresser to be more gentle without insulting them?!

[Also, bit of an extra question - i use coconut oil on my lengths but have read about how it reduces damage from bleaching if applied beforehand - does anyone know how much is best to apply?]

I had this same exact problem, but because my hairdresser could cut a straight line, I decided to make things a little easier and not give up on her. This might seem looney tuney, but when I go see her I go in with wet freshly washed hair. I usually bun my wet hair and when I see her I just take the stick out and all she has to do is comb through it and cut it. This has been a huge saving grace for my sensitive head and all the pulling and knotting that I had to endure before no longer takes place. I also add a little detangler in my hair before I see her so her comb usually glides right through my hair. I'm sure she thinks I am nuts because I don't want my hair washed, but I really don't care (and if she ever raised an eyebrow I wouldn't go back). When I see her she knows the deal and it has worked out so much better for the both of us. No more pain, no more tangles she has to get through, no more brushing and ripping through my hair and no more knots!

[spidermom]

Thank you Ktani :) and yes it seems to be the hairwash that causes the biggest problem, but i cant see a way to get around it with those salon sinks

Go to your appointment with clean, wet, detangled hair. That's the path around your complaints.

[Miss Catrina]

That is not acceptable hairdresser behavior. I'm only a student and I know better than to make a pile of hair during shampooing, and I detangle with a wide-toothed comb - and for the most part, so do my peers. Find someone who actually cares to do a good job! It's amazing she didn't get the hint after you said you never get tangles.

[Tia2010]

I have had some bad experences but I learned to speak up...

I go to two different stylist right now...One I go to just for trims ( she's cheaper and close by) so I go in with freshly washed hair and leave without a blowdry, so I don't have any issues. She is very accommodating.

The other stylist I go to for my color ( she is amazing with color :)) so I have to get my hair washed there.. I always speak up (nicely of course) and tell the shampoo girl that my hair knots easily so please be careful...she has never looked at me weird or anything, and she is as careful as she can be in a little sink...Then my stylist lets me comb out my own hair, cuts it and lets me leave with damp hair...no issues.

When you first start going to someone talk to them BEFORE you let them touch your hair and you can get a feel for how they will treat you and your hair.. If they don't seem to care or aren't listening to you, look for someone else who will.

[Isa Ferrara]

When I had long hair I didn't let anyone else near it. I'd pull it around the the front and trim tiny bits off because I'd heard stories of scissor-happy hairdressers. No thank you.

I am the kind of person who hates confrontation - but my last pixie, the girl (10+ years of experience, of course, as she told me) was poking my in the eyes (corners, eyebrows) with the #$*@%($%#(*$ scissors. I'm sorry if that's swearing but I was just so, so put off. I made sure she knew what she was doing - I said OUCH CAREFUL several times and made her stop so I could examine my poked face in the mirror. Then she would talk about how fun fauxhawk pixies were because she never got to do them (I live in a ... vanilla? area). She was really, really scissor-happy. The cut was very choppy - I was not surprised.

But I don't have any experience with long-hair cuts :) I just won't get them done. For all these reasons mentioned by everyone here!

[Hairitic]

afu: If I were you, I'd learn to do my own bleach/color. It really isn't all that hard. That way, you can control every step of how your hair is treated throughout the process :). That would take care of the problem till you're ready to let go of the bleach addiction :p

[Littlewing13]

Food for thought from an ex hairdresser: don't let her brush it. Do it yourself. Bring your own brush & just say that you would prefer to do it yourself.

But also I would change hairdressers. There are gentle ones out there (many of my old clients came to me because I was gentle & good with long hair, so I assume there must be others). Or at the very least hairdressers who are taught to wash hair properly! Piling hair on top of head is not professional!

And stand your ground & be specific. If you don't really mind then continue to do what you do, but if you are experiencing breakage that you just cant handle then its up to you to put a stop to it. Don't be afraid of offending. It is your hair & your responsibility to communicate exactly what you want. & if they do get shirty with you then move on to the next hairdresser.

The key to a good hairdresser is not necessarily one who does exactly what you want the first time, but one who listens, takes criticism constructively, & changes their ways accordingly the next time. It is like a relationship. You both need to work on communicating.

Also you are all going to cringe at this but its food for thought: Apprentices are often much gentler. Maybe get an apprentice to wash your hair. Of course, there are varying degrees of experience & skill level, so some might be shocking, but on the other hand many are exactly what you want. Don't discount the trainee is all I'm saying.

[Talula]

I haven't been to a hairdresser in many years, but I had a bad experience with a JCPenney hairdresser ... maybe 10-15 years ago. It's long enough ago that I can't remember exactly what she said, but she basically let me know that she hated cutting long hair, and was deflated when she saw I was her next client. She complained a lot with how long the detangling took, and then aloud told me, like a light bulb had gone off in her head that made her feel better, that Oh!.... she would just charge me extra for using more conditioner on me! And I informed her, that actually this visit was FREE for me, since I had one of those cards you get punched where your tenth visit is free, and this was my tenth visit. I don't remember how that went over, but I just remember the whole visit felt like I was "putting her out" so badly to have her trim my hair.

And note that I have Social Anxiety Disorder and wasn't on meds for it at the time (I'm now much more outgoing on the meds, and speak up for myself much more), so my shyness kept me from saying or doing much about this treatment. I remember I even tipped her, only because at the time I felt like tipping was required at the hairdresser, not just to be done as thanks for good service. Later I really regretted giving her a tip for her terrible service.

Needless to say, the few years after that when I still went to salons, I would ask the hairdresser how she felt about cutting long hair before we started.

I do remember I used to let my hair air dry in the later years of my salon trips, rather than let them put me under a dryer. They'd worry about me leaving with damp hair, but I assured them I went out with wet hair all the time, it was no big deal.

And I used to get a lot of neck aches from the neck muscles I used to hold my head up from all the tugging when they'd detangle.

I also remember when I was a kid, the hot water they used would always feel like it was burning me, and I was too shy to ask them to make it cooler.

Nowadays I just let my sister trim my hair, or I trim it myself. Though I had recently thought maybe it's time for a "real" trim at the hairdresser, but now after reading this thread & remembering...... I'm having second thoughts! But that's a good idea to just go in with clean, wet, detangled, bunned hair, & have them ONLY trim it, nothing else. That could work...

[lolot]

i dont go to hairdressers anymore because of those reasons and on top of that i have to pay them, for cutting, drying and breaking my hair? no thanks :P

[Isa Ferrara]

i dont go to hairdressers anymore because of those reasons and on top of that i have to pay them, for cutting, drying and breaking my hair? no thanks :P

:agree: This! That pretty much boils it down.

[Chetanlaiho]

The one I go to myself is pretty gentle (for hairdressers, not by our standards I suppose ;)) but I've gone with friends twice and theirs was really, really rough. They'd start at the top, making the knots tighter, than using hard small strokes to get them out, and then cut in a way that would create more tangles :/ I was cringing, so, much.

[misspurdy06]

Why don't you ask to do a once over yourself then let her brush it? Or give her instructions on how you want your hair shampoo'd?

Have we learned nothing from Elle's experience in legally blonde 2?

Wake up sweetheart! You are in control of how you are treated there.

If she doesn't like your care instructions then you don't want to be there and will find somewhere they will treat you right.

[Katleen]

I'm sorry to hear that...
Seems like I'm lucky with my salon, everbody is really gentle with my hair. I asked for a small trim, and I got a small trim, they detangled with a wide tooth comb, and if I wanted, I could walk right out with wet hair :)

About your coconut question though: my hairdresser told me it was great on virgin hair, but to be carefull with it on colored hair, as it can fade the color right out. That's why I ended up with a slightly green "shine" over my ends...

Consult with your hairdresser before they do anything, and if it doesn't feel right, find someone else, really. You take such good care of your hair, don't let one ignorant hairdresser ruin it for you!!

[afu]

Go to your appointment with clean, wet, detangled hair. That's the path around your complaints.

I can't - i need the bleach washing out after colouring!

Does anyone else here do bleach highlighting themselves? ive always been told to totally avoid it if you have long hair. but thinking about it, its only the roots that need doing anyway so shouldn't make a difference

[Phalaenopsis]

I gave my hairdresser multiple chances. I even said not to wash or dry, because then maybe she would take more time to detangle. Not...

She just kept being rough even after things I said. She's always in a hurry it seems, so now I just won't go to her anymore. It's always torture when I go to her.

[sedonia]

I have a pretty decent hair dresser. She never tries to persuade me to trim more than I want, or gives me any grief about the length of my hair. I *thought* she was also a gentle comber, because I never felt any tugging, but the last time I went to her, I caught a glance in the mirror. She was holding the length of my hair in one hand and yanking a wide toothed comb through the ends with the other. I know it was causing massive breakage, but I couldn't feel it because she was holding the slack.

So, even though she is pretty good as far as hair dressers go, I have been trimming my own hair ever since.

[PrincessIdril]

I rarely go to the hairdressers but when I do, I don't let them wash my hair. When I was a child with short hair, they just squirted water on my hair, I don't see why they should change just because I'm an now an adult with long hair. (Especially since all I ever get done is get like 2 inches trimmed off the bottom once in a while...)

So yeah when I go I tell them directly that my hair is already clean and that they can't wash it as I have prescription shampoo (I do, don't often use it but I have it so its not technically a lie...). Works like a charm, they complain a bit but they use the squirty bottle.

[AcornMystic]

I understand this problem. The last time I went to a salon the woman actually was rough. My shortest layers up top she was the most rough with. I didn`t say anything because it was the last time I was ever going to go to salon again anyway. I went to get the last of my dye damage out and in order to do that it had to be done by a professional who knew how to work with pretty heavily layered hair as I wanted to make sure it all got out and my hairs were pretty layered. You can see in my album the result and a fair idea off what I went in with. She tugged at my head as she took the scissors through it. Whenever they`re rough I always think to myself, “you have been working on wayyy too many plastic training heads of hair“, but I`m just glad I don`t have to deal with any of that any more. I`m actually quite glad I discovered LHC so early into my growing journey to achieve longer hair and saved my future length. When you become dependent on stylists for something you`re forced to take risks. Since you do it frequently, it`s important you become able to stand your ground, otherwise you will be repeatedly “abused“ in a matter of speaking. That`s just my thoughts, though I do feel for you.

[Bagginslover]

I can't - i need the bleach washing out after colouring!

Does anyone else here do bleach highlighting themselves? ive always been told to totally avoid it if you have long hair. but thinking about it, its only the roots that need doing anyway so shouldn't make a difference

I've done my own roots before. I needed my mum to help me for the bits I couldn't see, but it was simple and easy. Try it out first on a patch that won't be seen to check your mixture, and how long you need for it to fully lift, then go for it!

I was able to keep my blonde bits (I had patches, not highlights) for 2 years longer by doing them at home, I just couldn't afford to maintain them at a salon during that time. I gave them up when I got bored of them.

[Konstifik]

Last time I went to a hairdresser (over a year ago) she was very rough with the comb! It was a plastic comb with very small space between the teeth, as well as very, VERY sharp teeth!
They scratched my scalp like an angry cat, and when she encountered a knot or tangle, she - you guessed it - ripped right through with great speed and force.

I was too shocked to say anything, I just sat there panicking shudder:

Suffice to say, I never went there again, nor to any hairdresser since. I just can't trust them anymore, finding an LHC-friendly hairdresser is like finding the needle in the haystack...

[Anlbe]

Does anyone else have a problem with hairdressers being too rough with their hair? If I could accept my natural hair colour i wouldn't be having this problem, as it is i just can't let go of my bleach highlights! I love the fact that when i've had it done my hair is a nice colour, but thats where my joy ends!

My hairdresser (and all that i've been to) are just not gentle enough :( , particularly when washing. She piles all my hair into a big ball and scrubs away (although i have to say she's pretty good at head massages) and then wonders why my hair is all knotted up afterwards. She always says to me 'does your hair always get this knotty?' and everytime i reply that i hardly ever get knots, especially after conditioning in the shower. She then proceeds to vigorously tugging a brush through and i can't help but cringe at all the breakage which must be occuring. I don't let her dry it, i leave it wet and go straight home and put a deep conditioning/oil treatment on for a few hours.

Everytime i tell myself 'don't stress out - it's a reletively rare occurance' but i can't help it.

Does anyone else have this trouble? and has anyone found a way to try and get their hairdresser to be more gentle without insulting them?!

[Also, bit of an extra question - i use coconut oil on my lengths but have read about how it reduces damage from bleaching if applied beforehand - does anyone know how much is best to apply?]

Snap.

Just like you I highlight my hair and overall it's a great experience, but the person who washes my hair after the highlights just doesn't get it. She swishes my hair about in the basin, rubs it really hard and then tries to drag a brush through it starting at the roots. It's the most fragile moment for my hair all year and it's being brutalised. I started trying to emphasise before she started how dry my hair is and how easily it tangles. That didn't have much effect. Eventually I just told her straight out that she was pulling my hair, that it really hurt, then I handed her my tangle teaser.

[Nev]

I totally get you, I got highlights at my last visit to the hairdresser, and she was so rough when she combed and brushed all my hair out. It was horrible. Not to mention another hairdresser came to "help" and they literally ripped through my hair, and caused so much damage. Now I have to keep trimming until I get rid of all the stretched out hairs.
So I've just given up on hairdressers and I'm taking care of my hair myself.

[Jessy22284]

The worst for me thinking about it now, (and she really was great, I thought she had a great personality and she did really try to listen to what I wanted, although she did take too much length off more often that not) is she blow dryed my hair way too hot, and way close to my scalp. A lot of the time I felt like my scalp was burning and it HURT :rant: IF I ever go back to her, I will not be letting her blow dry my hair just for that reason. It makes me shudder just thinking of all that damage.

[oktobergoud]

I have the same problem with hairdressers and I only have chin-length hair!! Specially with blowdryers *shudders* They just brush my hair really really roughly and then use the blowdryer way too hot/too close to the scalp. And every time I tell them it's too hot, they change it, and after 1 minute it all just happens again >:[

[Maiken]

My hairdresser is rough with my hair too. It's not too bad while she's washing it. But afterwards when the hair is soaking wet (it doesn't get much time to dry a bit in a towel) and she starts brushing it.... My eyes are all teary from the pain, and i have a really hard time not saying something. The next time though, i will ask har to use a comb instead.. I think..
Then she cuts/colours the hair, and then blowdry the hell out of it. And then straigthens it:rant:

She's a great hairdresser an really really nice too. So i have a hard time saying anything about her methods..
Her own hair is always shorter than shoulderlength and it's always bleached and put in some funky hairstyle. So i don't have much faith in her knowing much about how to care for long hair, or understanding why i want long hair.
Iv'e only been in the salon once after i startede growing my hair, and i'm really not to happy about having to go back soon for a trim.. I like her, i'm just not to happy about her brush..

[Covet]

My hair gets treated roughly all the time :( I think it's partly to do with it being really curly and they may not have had experience with my type of hair before. The last hair dresser I went to, while I absolutely love the cut, he was rough and I'm going to have a word with him next time, bring my TT and tell him to start combing from the tips up, instead of grabbing a handful of hair, smacking it with a paddle brush and dragging it downwards. I think I'll go there with detangled and conditioned wet hair too, it will make things easier. I definitely won't let anyone shampoo or scrub my head. I won't be accepting the blow dry either! French braid please! To be honest I don't think requesting those things is insulting. At the end of the day it's your hair and if you don't tell the hairdresser to calm down with the shampooing/detangling, its like paying them to ruin your hair. I go to a pretty pricey salon because they know what they're doing with curly hair and I don't want to have to pay them to what I don't want them to. I'd rather look like a bossy person than sit there cringing with my eyes closed every time he touches my hair.

I know what you mean about liking having a different hair colour but I've finally learnt my lesson with colouring. Never again.

[Micayla47]

i've had so many hairdressers and so many good and bad experiences, but in the end, they all ruin my hair. i've had a couple that i really liked (before LHC) and went to for years, even following them when they moved. i had a man for 7 years who was great and loved long hair and he had long hair and the whole time he did a great job on my hair highlighting and trimming it. one day i asked for a perm (i know i'm an idiot) and he put small perm rollers in my highlighted (with bleach) BSL hair and left them on for 30 minutes. that was the end of my hair and the end of my relationship with that hairdresser.

for the past 5-6 years i've been going to only aveda salons and i've had a couple of women i really liked, but even they would wash my hair too rough, yank the comb through the wet hair, and then blow dry from soaking wet with the heat too high and the brush pulled too tight. about 3 years ago i started leaving the hairdresser with wet hair.

unfortunately i've been traveling for 5 months and i had to go to a random hairdresser. i've already documented the experience here in other posts (not good). now that i've found LHC and i've realized that all these ideas in my head were not my imagination, i'm never ever going to a hair salon again. i'm going to go to a barber shop for trims and color my own hair with henna or deposit only color.

[spookyghost]

I'd change hairdressers, honestly. I will probably be cutting my own hair now, because of all the bad experiences I've had. Hairdressers do not change, or at least not easily.

You put enough coconut oil on so that where you are bleaching is fully covered. Depends how thick your hair is as well.

So if Im going to get my hair colored back to my natural ash blonde color does that mean I just put coconut oil in my hair like I regularly oil it and go get my color and it will help protect it and the color will come out ok even though the oil is in it?

If anyone can just affirm this I would appreciate it. I put a thread in here last night asking for advice about my hair color appt I have on Friday because I really need the advice/opinions, but I havent seen it. I dont know where it went:( So I saw this question and thought I'd ask!

[Chetanlaiho]

I haven't noticed this myself, but considering most of the times I went to a hairdresser I never really paid attention to it (growing up my dad used to do it, very, very roughly so I was used to it xD). But I have been with two friends to the hairdresser and theirs were awful, detangling very roughly, snapping through knots, and worst of all doing it in a way that just creates more tangles! They didn't know how to deal with long hair :(

[cremenoir]

i used to be a stylist and i think the main reason they tend to be rough on hair is time constraint. the amount of time stylists are allotted for each service is usually not enough to treat hair the way it should be treated, in my opinion; and there's a lot of pressure to stay on schedule and avoid getting behind. long or thick hair tends to get the worst treatment because the time slot is set up for an 'average' service. if you have more hair than average, the stylist will likely end up being in even more of a hurry, and there just isn't time for careful, gentle treatment.

for people with long hair who get highlights, a huge rats nest often results when the foils are taken out simply because in order to get all of your hair to fit in the foil and get saturated with color, the strands usually have to be folded onto themselves several times. combine the resulting tangles with rough combing and you're in for some damage!

to avoid rough treatment at the salon, there are a few things you can do. first, if you feel your stylist is rushed or you wat to be sure s/he has enough time to baby your hair, when you make your appointment, ask them to schedule you more time than the standard service. this usually costs more, but it's worth it. be direct with your stylist about what you want. let him/her know that you want extreme care to be taken when washing/detangling/etc. you can also ask that YOU be the one to do the detangling. while salons frown upon this because it makes it look like your stylist is lazy, if you want to detangle yourself you absolutely have the right to. YOU are paying for the service, and you should be given what you want. if your stylist is too rough with the dryer/irons/etc. you can ask that you skip the styling and go home with wet hair. this is also frowned upon by salons because stylists are discouraged from letting clients walk out looking 'unfinished', but again, this is about you, not them. YOU are the customer and if that's what you want, then by all means, you have the right to do it. never be afraid to be direct with your stylist about anything you want. their job is to make you happy!

[angelshair]

Thanks guys! I have now made a checklist on my phone for the next time I'm going to the hairdresser. I'm bringing my tangleteezer, my spritzbottle and I'm walking in there with freshly washed hair in a bun the next time I touch up my roots. I always put it off for too long since it always leaves me half-traumatised when I do go. It's just ridiculous that one appointment gives so much unnecessary damage. I don't even brush my hair 99&#37; of the time so for them to wash it like that and then rip through it honestly makes me nauseous. But the next time I'm coming armed with the lhc artillery. :)

[Hairitic]

i used to be a stylist and i think the main reason they tend to be rough on hair is time constraint. the amount of time stylists are allotted for each service is usually not enough to treat hair the way it should be treated, in my opinion; and there's a lot of pressure to stay on schedule and avoid getting behind. long or thick hair tends to get the worst treatment because the time slot is set up for an 'average' service. if you have more hair than average, the stylist will likely end up being in even more of a hurry, and there just isn't time for careful, gentle treatment.

for people with long hair who get highlights, a huge rats nest often results when the foils are taken out simply because in order to get all of your hair to fit in the foil and get saturated with color, the strands usually have to be folded onto themselves several times. combine the resulting tangles with rough combing and you're in for some damage!

to avoid rough treatment at the salon, there are a few things you can do. first, if you feel your stylist is rushed or you wat to be sure s/he has enough time to baby your hair, when you make your appointment, ask them to schedule you more time than the standard service. this usually costs more, but it's worth it. be direct with your stylist about what you want. let him/her know that you want extreme care to be taken when washing/detangling/etc. you can also ask that YOU be the one to do the detangling. while salons frown upon this because it makes it look like your stylist is lazy, if you want to detangle yourself you absolutely have the right to. YOU are paying for the service, and you should be given what you want. if your stylist is too rough with the dryer/irons/etc. you can ask that you skip the styling and go home with wet hair. this is also frowned upon by salons because stylists are discouraged from letting clients walk out looking 'unfinished', but again, this is about you, not them. YOU are the customer and if that's what you want, then by all means, you have the right to do it. never be afraid to be direct with your stylist about anything you want. their job is to make you happy!

Thanks Cremenoir;
Your advice sounds sound :p. I'm just brushing waist now and I promised myself that once I reached waist, I would start trimming to thicken up my hemline and to let my bangs catch up with the back. So, I'm treating myself to a professional trim on my birthday May 18th :). I will request and pay for a
"double" slot. I'll use my WEN Conditioning Cleanser and coconut oil just before I go. I'll also take along my wide-toothed horn comb, Tangle Teezer and detangling spray. I'll ask the stylist to start combing/brushing at the ends and to work up slowly and gently. I will show her the amount of hair I want removed and emphasize that when she is done, my hair should be waist length. Hopefully, this should result in a positive experience with the desired end results :o.

[Freija]

I find that hinting and subtle suggestion rarely works. Ultimately, you are paying them to deliver a service of your own stipulation. It is their job to ensure that you are satisfied, and to tailor their own expertise to your request.

If you aren't happy with the way your hair is being treated, tell them. Whenever I went to a hairdresser for a wash and cut, I would tell them that I don't have product buildup and I never shampoo twice, so could they also shampoo only once, please? I've asked them to CWC before, explaining that my curly hair needs a bit of special care and extra moisture or it just looks frizzy! I don't hesitate to ask them to turn the water temperature down if I think it's too hot, and I will ask to comb my hair myself if I think they are being too rough. If you don't like the way a hairdresser is treating you, or they are not listening and responding to your wishes, it is your right to walk out.

I don't understand it, really. In any other customer service industry, people walk in assertively, knowing their rights and with a clear idea of the quality of service they will accept. I saw it all the time when I worked in a restaurant, and it was great! But far more often than should be the case, a hairdresser will decide for themselves what the customer must want, and completely override their wishes - and all too often, the customer lets them. If I'd behaved towards customers the way hairdressers often seem to, I'd have been out of my job by the end of the day.

[tamchronic]

My mother used to be a hairdresser, and she has trimmed my hair for my entire life. Now that I've been employing LHC hair care strategies, I've noticed just how rough she is when she cuts my hair. The last trim she gave me was the final straw -- she ripped through my hair with a brush so hard that we ended up having quite an argument about it. So, I decided that for the first time in my life, I'd go to a salon to get my hair cut by a good family friend of ours.

To my amazement, she was marvellously gentle with my hair. She used a lovely wide-toothed comb and carefully detangled it after washing. She did blowdry my hair after trimming it, but gently, without causing damage.

With hairdressers, you simply have to be firm and clear about what you want. I told my simply to add some layers, and not to trim the ends at all. She did EXACTLY what I asked her to. She also told me what she was planning to do before she did it, and asked me if what she was doing was okay.

[Tisiloves]

I would say speak up, or do it at home.

The at home kits are pretty easy, especially if someone can help. Even on your own, as long as you can arrange mirrors to see the back of your head you should be fine.

[nobeltonya]

Gawd, the last time I was even considering going to the salon, I was thinking to myself that I'd go RIGHT after washing my hair.. I'd probably leave it in a wet bun so it'd still be wet enough and detangle it myself. The last time I ACTUALLY went to a salon was YEARS ago, and they don't seem to know what they're doing... most of them, anyway. That's why I cut my own hair. :D

[Diamond.Eyes]

I don't understand why so many people makes these posts and ask the same thing but never say anything at all to the hairdresser?

I always alert the stylist as to what I want done with my hair, I always go with clean hair, usually damp. But even when I had my hair washed by someone in the salon, I never had a rough experience, if they were rough at all, I tell them, if they continue, I stop them and either do it myself or I would leave. :shrug:

I don't understand why people allow these stylists to treat them rough, do crazy things to their hair, cut their hair in a way that they don't like and then tell everyone that they did these things. Why don't they just tell the stylist immediately?

This always confuses me.

This. ^
I am going to comsetology school and we are definitley taught not to ball the hair up like the OP mentioned and definitely taught not to be rude to clients. Sometimes I wonder if people make up salon horror stories for attention, because seeing it first-hand, behind the scenes, hair dressers really aren't as stupid and incompetent as some people seem to insinuate. As a hair dressing student, I am pretty offended by everyone's assumptions. It's pretty small-minded.
P.s. Hair stylists aren't mind readers. If you don't use heat on your hair, don't like silicone, prefer your brush, or if you are growing out your hair, it is probably a good idea to say something.

[Emy Sue]

I was just at the salon today, and it was actually a beauty school, not a "real" salon. The woman doing my hair was very gentle indeed. She is a long-hair affectuendo, but fails at growing it herself. I told her about this website, and how much she could learn from it. I hope she joins! Anyways, she combed it properly, and used correct products, and correct techniques for everything from combing and washing to the style-finish. Maybe it was a benefit to go to a currently trained modern hair stylist (student).

Today was the first time in 5 years I have cut my hair. We had to take off 3 inches to rid the split ends and damage, but she said my hair was in extremely good condition otherwise. She told me 6 months to a year between my trims would be fine. Yay!

I thank my hair sisters in this community for helping teach me the proper ways to care for my hair, and inspiring me to be patient and supporting me along the way. I love you all!

[shutterpillar]

I've had horrible experiences with hairdressers. I finally found one that I love. She is my mom's friend, but she is very expensive and its just not worth it now that I am growing my hair out.

But in the past, I have always had problems with them tangling my hair during washing (I don't have them wash it anymore. just spray with water and cut), running the comb over my ears (which hurts like $&&#37;^ when you have multiple piercings in your ears... one time I actually had a woman almost rip my earrings out. Now I don't wear them when/if I get my hair cut), yanking through tangles with flimsy plastic combs, scraping the nails on my head during washing, and then there is the multiple times that my hair didn't end up how I asked it to be trimmed.

edited to add: in response to a previous post, if you screw with my hair, you WILL know. You better bet I let every hairdresser know if I dont like something they are doing. And usually I dont go back. I give them very thorough details about my hair care and how I would like things cut, and how I plan to have my hair in the future.

[shutterpillar]

Also adding - I have had a lot of nice hairdressers too. But its your horrible experiences that really stick out in your mind and make you scared for your next appointment if it is someone you are unfamiliar with. My husband is an example... he had his hair trimmed for the majority of his life, but the last time he went he had this woman who was cutting his hair and announced to the whole salon how horrible his psoriasis was. That is something he was very embarrassed about, and for the whole salon to hear about it and then turn around to look at him and his "worst psoriasis they have ever seen".... that was extremely embarrassing. He never went back to a salon. Went out the next day and bought a home-trimming kit, and I have cut his hair for him ever since.

His psoriasis is no longer bad, in fact, it is almost gone. But I still don't think he would ever go back to a salon.

[Tizzles]

I am sorry to hear about your husband's experience, how embarrassing indeed. I have heard stylists do this when I've been to other salons with friends, thankfully the lady that does my hair works in a smaller salon with no other cackling hens around. If your hubby ever wanted to get someone else to do his hair you could probably help him check for a smaller salon like the one I go to. I know the bigger "snazzier" places are really popular but every now and again you get lucky enough to find that "diamond in the rough". I have never been able to grow my hair out past shoulder length with any stylist I've ever been to except the one that I've been seeing for 8 years now. She's always gentle with my hair and knows it in and out, I really honestly can not say enough good things about her and if anyone is in the Louisville, KY area and needs a good calm stylist that will be gentle and not ruin your tresses PM me. Not meaning to advertise, but I know that long hair friendly stylists are few and far between!

[arjay.d]

I'm really lucky. My Sister-in-law is the daughter of a hair dresser and does everyone's hair in our family. She is really good about only taking enough to keep my hemline clean and has done the trim dry the last few times because my hair is so thick and she takes so little that it is truly pointless. She also let's me detangle. My brother picked well!:p

[Seeshami]

The hair dressers in my life know the naughty mess is the sacred naughty mess when it comes to them touching it. And all contact with my hair is a privilege that is bestowed upon them after years of building trust. They treat my hair accordingly, because they know I am obviously crazy.

[PurplePenguin]

My hair dresser had a problem with catching my earrings so I finally told her last time I was there 'please watch the earrings because it hurts when you hit them'. You know what she said? 'Oh that's right I've caught them on accident a few times, I'm so sorry, I will make sure to stay away from them this time!' Easy as that. I go to a Great Clips so its definitely not a big fancy salon. Maybe its just that she is a nice, middle aged woman and really values me and DH's patronage though :shrug: I would tell her nicely or ask her nicely to be gentler. Maybe you should tell/show her a few tips and tricks on how to treat your hair?

[Psyche]

I used to hate getting my hair done - I had multiple pircings in my ears and they never failed to pull them.

[leilasahhar]

I NEVER go to the salons anymore because they tear out alot of hair during the washing and brushing afterward..They tried to vigorously brush my wet hair! I was like no, stop! I insisted on having my hair washed with my own shampoo/conditioner, and No brushing or blow drying of it afterward. They sat there and argued with me in front of customers! I stood my ground though..If you do ever go to the salon you HAVE to be stern when asking what you want. Otherwise they'll try to tell you what they thinks best, and have you leave with only half a head of hair that you came in there with. I seriously took a good look around.. no one visiting that salon had long hair, thick hair or healthy looking hair.

[Miss Catrina]

I am already encountering this problem, and I have a pixie cut. :rolleyes: Not that I see professionals - only other students - but I feel like my hair is yanked out with a round brush. And don't get me started on those metal jaw clips.

[Artisticat]

Burn my head with the bow dryer too close. Never again!

[JLeighs]

My previous hairdresser flat ironed my hair for the very first time and was pulling so hard I heard my hair snapping. I was *very* angry, and she knew it. I had all these broken hairs sticking straight up from my scalp. Grrrrr....

[Mesmerise]

Also adding - I have had a lot of nice hairdressers too. But its your horrible experiences that really stick out in your mind and make you scared for your next appointment if it is someone you are unfamiliar with. My husband is an example... he had his hair trimmed for the majority of his life, but the last time he went he had this woman who was cutting his hair and announced to the whole salon how horrible his psoriasis was. That is something he was very embarrassed about, and for the whole salon to hear about it and then turn around to look at him and his "worst psoriasis they have ever seen".... that was extremely embarrassing. He never went back to a salon. Went out the next day and bought a home-trimming kit, and I have cut his hair for him ever since.

His psoriasis is no longer bad, in fact, it is almost gone. But I still don't think he would ever go back to a salon.

Ugh this is another reason I hate salons. I don't need hairdressers pointing out stuff like having a bit of dandruff, or if I have slightly damaged hair, or if my hair is thin, or whatever. I go in for a haircut... NOT for commentary about my hair!!!!

And yes, I find a lot of hairdressers are really rough!! When I do my own hair I don't manage to hurt myself (at least not often). My hair is generally pretty easy to detangle (in fact, after washing it, if I hit a snag I'm actually shocked :p it's pretty much just comb and go)... sometimes it gets a bit tangly if I wear it out, but brushing it isn't difficult, and it doesn't need to be at all painful. And yet I'll go to hairdressers and wince in pain at the yanking and pulling my hair goes through!!

Mind you, in the past I trusted hairdressers and figured that they knew what they were doing so even if they did hurt a bit, they weren't actually damaging my hair :rolleyes:. How stupid. I lost a lot of faith the day a hairdresser managed to FRY my bleached ends. I had just had probably 6" or more cut off (BSL+ to SL) to remove damaged ends (mind you, my ends were splitting more than often but they generally LOOKED okay and were NOT fried). She cut my hair, then found that my hair dried slower than expected, and I guess put the dryer too close... When I left I discovered frazzled ends... I ended up cutting all the frazzled bits off myself. I should have gone back to complain!!! Instead, I just never went there again... (fortunately at that length my hair is curly/wavy enough that you couldn't see the uneven bits that I'd trimmed off).

[MissTulip]

The last time I let any kind of "professonal" touch my hair was when I was 17 (I'm 35). I had very damaged hair and had to be dragged in to get about 4-5 inches cut off (I was crying, even though I knew it had to be done). She didn't do anything else that day since I had already washed and dried it for her. The haircut was great for my hair (after I got over the shock of it being just mid neck :-O) It grew so quickly for a couple months after that...I was surprised and really happy!

So, my aunt, (the one who convinced me to cut it in the first place) suggested that we go back to this woman to get conditioning treatments. I thought it would be fine since my hair was in such great shape from the chop and this would make it even healthier right?. O M G....she absolutely destroyed my hair that time! I didn't know any better, so I didn't say anything to her as she was raking through my hair, HARD, with brushes and whatever else she was using. I could feel and hear it snapping :((((
When she was done, I swear there was more hair on the floor than on my head GRRRRRR!!

NEVER AGAIN!!

[Deliciosa]

Wow and I always thought, I was the one that maybe isnt communicating properly.

So here are my hair dresser horror stories:

After I pleaded to have my hair long, my mom finally let me. I was around ten. I had one of those fancy shmancy mullet cuts you know where you have long hair in the back and short on the top and sides. I hated it with a gusto. So please mothers, dont do that to your kids. So when I was 10, my mom finally let me grow it. You cannot imagine how proud I was, when I achieved bra-strap length which must have been about 18 months or so later. I went to the hairdresser's just around the corner of my house as my ends were getting a bit uneven. Around 2h later I came out with hair cut back to my ears - a lovely bob as the hairdresser called it. Yet I am sure till this day that I told her, I only wanted the ends cut. One has to say that I do have around 3b hair so there is some shrinkage, not much but some. I paid, went home and was in complete and utter shock! My mom didnt understand why I was so shocked and so upset.
Similar things happened over and over again until I realised that hair dressers are NOT my friends.
My mom, an advocate of "the pixie" cut, goes to the hair dresser every 6-8 weeks or so. And her hair dresser once was a lady with GORGEOUS silky blond hair, thick, mid-back. They got talking. My mom told her about me and it turns out that this lady has two daughters with long hair. So I went. I must have been around 16 or so. And lo and behold she treated my hair lovingly. She brushed it from the tips to the roots, not wet and sold me my first BB Brush. Unfortunately, she moved away :(.

Adding to the psoriasis story: When I moved out of home I had my very last hair dresser attempt. A hair dresser was running her fingers through my hair and said very loudly "Oh my you have thin hair!" - "EXCUSE ME?" I answered and left the salon. I dont have THIN hair, if anything I have fine hair, but with a ponytail circumference of 4.5-5 inches I dont think ANYONE can talk about thin here. But even IF I had thinner hair, you wouldnt say something like this. You wouldnt go up to someone in the gym and say "Oh you are so fat!" or to a lady or gentleman of colour "Oh my you are very black, aren't you!" EVEN if they were a bit chunkier or even if they were very dark. You are just not that inconsiderate.

Since then I never never neeeeever went to a hair dresser ever again.

I recently got married. And a stylist did my hair and makeup. As I married into a Muslim-Indian family my hair was done in an updo that had to support my heavy wedding veils. Yet the stylist was excruciatingly rough with my hair and scalp. I have to say, that I have a lot of hair yet the single strand is rather fine. My stylist was of Pakistani descent. And she did EVERYTHING that you shouldnt do, if you want to keep your luscious locks: Brushing it from the roots down very thoroughly (not so say violently), teasing the isht out of it (seriously I had a hard time even with deep conditioning it to detangle it), using and exuberant amount of bobby pins ridiculously close to my scalp, poking and prodding me and heat styling without ANY protection on the HIGHEST setting. She was so bad that the curling wand slipped out of her hand AND yes landed on my neck and shoulder, which left beautiful burn marks that I had throughout all our wedding festivities. She neither was prepared for my hair structure, nor it's fragileness, nor the length *my hair is now around mid-butt ;P *. This all caused a lot of breakage on my crown and left my reasonable thick braid considerably thinner mid-back onwards because of all the snapped hair.
During all of that I stayed very calm as I dont want to get myself in a franzy before my wedding.
My husband, after I told him about all of that, I didnt want to upset him as my stylist was a present of one of my in laws family friends, was beyond furious. He loves my hair a lot and is my control group (whenever I test a new "remedy" I am allowed to also test it on him [I mean anything], which is a whole lot of fun). Interestingly enough, my sister in law who got her makeup and hair done by the same stylist told me recently the very same and I was very relieved as I dont want to be the hair crazy person, you know.

What I find absolutely worrying is the lack of consideration that all these hair dressers that we all have encountered (not all of them, but certainly those that have mistreated us had/have) had. It takes discipline and tenacity to grow hair of our length. I do not understand why this world is becoming increasingly inconsiderate.

[Deliciosa]

Wow and I always thought, I was the one that maybe isnt communicating properly.

So here are my hair dresser horror stories:

After I pleaded to have my hair long, my mom finally let me. I was around ten. I had one of those fancy shmancy mullet cuts you know where you have long hair in the back and short on the top and sides. I hated it with a gusto. So please mothers, dont do that to your kids. So when I was 10, my mom finally let me grow it. You cannot imagine how proud I was, when I achieved bra-strap length which must have been about 18 months or so later. I went to the hairdresser's just around the corner of my house as my ends were getting a bit uneven. Around 2h later I came out with hair cut back to my ears - a lovely bob as the hairdresser called it. Yet I am sure till this day that I told her, I only wanted the ends cut. One has to say that I do have around 3b hair so there is some shrinkage, not much but some. I paid, went home and was in complete and utter shock! My mom didnt understand why I was so shocked and so upset.
Similar things happened over and over again until I realised that hair dressers are NOT my friends.
My mom, an advocate of "the pixie" cut, goes to the hair dresser every 6-8 weeks or so. And her hair dresser once was a lady with GORGEOUS silky blond hair, thick, mid-back. They got talking. My mom told her about me and it turns out that this lady has two daughters with long hair. So I went. I must have been around 16 or so. And lo and behold she treated my hair lovingly. She brushed it from the tips to the roots, not wet and sold me my first BB Brush. Unfortunately, she moved away :(.

Adding to the psoriasis story: When I moved out of home I had my very last hair dresser attempt. A hair dresser was running her fingers through my hair and said very loudly "Oh my you have thin hair!" - "EXCUSE ME?" I answered and left the salon. I dont have THIN hair, if anything I have fine hair, but with a ponytail circumference of 4.5-5 inches I dont think ANYONE can talk about thin here. But even IF I had thinner hair, you wouldnt say something like this. You wouldnt go up to someone in the gym and say "Oh you are so fat!" or to a lady or gentleman of colour "Oh my you are very black, aren't you!" EVEN if they were a bit chunkier or even if they were very dark. You are just not that inconsiderate.

Since then I never never neeeeever went to a hair dresser ever again.

I recently got married. And a stylist did my hair and makeup. As I married into a Muslim-Indian family my hair was done in an updo that had to support my heavy wedding veils. Yet the stylist was excruciatingly rough with my hair and scalp. I have to say, that I have a lot of hair yet the single strand is rather fine. My stylist was of Pakistani descent. And she did EVERYTHING that you shouldnt do, if you want to keep your luscious locks: Brushing it from the roots down very thoroughly (not so say violently), teasing the isht out of it (seriously I had a hard time even with deep conditioning it to detangle it), using and exuberant amount of bobby pins ridiculously close to my scalp, poking and prodding me and heat styling without ANY protection on the HIGHEST setting. She was so bad that the curling wand slipped out of her hand AND yes landed on my neck and shoulder, which left beautiful burn marks that I had throughout all our wedding festivities. She neither was prepared for my hair structure, nor it's fragileness, nor the length *my hair is now around mid-butt ;P *. This all caused a lot of breakage on my crown and left my reasonable thick braid considerably thinner mid-back onwards because of all the snapped hair.
During all of that I stayed very calm as I dont want to get myself in a franzy before my wedding.
My husband, after I told him about all of that, I didnt want to upset him as my stylist was a present of one of my in laws family friends, was beyond furious. He loves my hair a lot and is my control group (whenever I test a new "remedy" I am allowed to also test it on him [I mean anything], which is a whole lot of fun). Interestingly enough, my sister in law who got her makeup and hair done by the same stylist told me recently the very same and I was very relieved as I dont want to be the hair crazy person, you know.

What I find absolutely worrying is the lack of consideration that all these hair dressers that we all have encountered (not all of them, but certainly those that have mistreated us had/have) had. It takes discipline and tenacity to grow hair of our length. I do not understand why this world is becoming increasingly inconsiderate.

[Frankenstein]

It seems like most hairdressers are too rough with combing. My last one actually attacked my tangles with a fine tooth comb on a day when my hair was being particularly tangly :eek:

[Obsidian]

When ever I run across threads like this, I am absolutely shocked that you gals who have spend so much time and effort to grow your hair out are afraid to speak up. If you went to a doctor for some minor surgical procedure and they started cutting on you with no anesthesia, I guarantee you would say something.

Its no different with hair, you HAVE to speak your mind or else they won't know what they are doing wrong. 99.9% of their clients aren't going to care if their hair is brushed too rough or the heat tools are too hot.

I'm also surprised how many of you let hairdressers wash/blow dry your hair when you didn't want that service. Don't you tell them when you arrive what it is you want? Around here a wash and style cost more so you have to request those services. I always leave the salon with damp hair as I see no reason to pay for a blow dry when it will just poof as soon as water touches it again.

I try to find small salons that only have 1-2 people employed or even retired hairdressers that offer services out of their house. I find them the easiest to work with and the most willing to follow your directions. Chain salons are the worse, usually full of younger "I just want to cut and style" ladies who simply can't understand the meaning of a trim. I think most of them would be happy to make over everyone who sits in their chair.

I love my woman barber. She only cuts hair/beards. No color, no perms and I've never seen her wash anyones hair even though she does have a sink. I've seen guys come in straight from working in the woods, dirty as all get out and all she does is damp mist it then go to town. She is fast, gentle and very talented.

[AutobotsAttack]

Ugh I definitely can relate. My problem is that they are always too rough when combing my hair. And the break off too much hair that would otherwise still be on my head if I detangled it myself.

[Inga-Marjukka]

There's this hairdresser in my hometown who is apparently award-winning and really good but when I went to her years ago when my hair was basically a long bob, it was a horrible experience. She really hurt my head when she brushed my hair to start, and when she washed my hair after bleaching she rubbed my hair into massive knots and SLAMMED the towel on my head and continued to rub all over my forehead like my head was a metal bulb at the end of a pole as a part of some public fence and she was the uninterested teenager in her summer job told to rub it spotless. I thought my ears would fall out. So, couple of tears were shed on my part there.

My sister who had been to her earlier warned me that since my hair is relatively short she's going to want to smother it in hair wax to top it off. The hairdresser told me she's going to put some wax on the back of my hair to give it some volume. Remembering my sister's words I asked her to but just a tiny bit in, which resulted in her sinking her finger into the wax pot and made the back of my head look like a freshly highlighted chicken's bum. After paying I ran out and combed my hair on the street. The bleeding wax was everywhere and when I got home I immediately washed my hair.

Needless to say, I never ever went there again. My sister also had had an extremely painful experience when her shoulder length hair had been highlighted using that funny hat thing with holes in it where they pull the hair to be highlighted out of the holes with a hook. Her friend, on the other hand, had gone there to get some ashy brown colour on her long hair, and at one point she had looked in the mirror and said: "I really don't think I asked for purple-red." to which the hairdresser had answered "Oh. Let's tweak the price a little bit, shall we?"

Unbelievable. Also a good example of how difficult it can be sometimes to speak your mind and be the "difficult" customer, even when one knows that they're actually right, not the hairdresser. Ugh, this is such a horror story and I got really irritated writing this! :steam:ponder: