My ruined hair ...

[FireFlies55]

So, I posted a long while back about my mistake of cutting my 14" of hair up to a bob. I've been letting it grow, and it was barely BSL finally! It was a pretty, henna reddish brown and I liked it. Then, when wanting a change, I allowed my mom to talk me into black dye (from a box). So I had jet black, long-ish, silky hair -- not the best, but still pretty.

Then I wanted to get my bangs trimmed. I have pudgy cheeks and have always liked myself better with bangs. They had grown out to near not existence, more a layer than true bangs. I went to a stylist, unlike usually when I do my bangs myself. I told her to "trim" the dead ends and refresh the one, low layer I have that keeps my thick, Irish hair from being awkward and boxy. So, now I have blunt fringe and choppy, emo kid layers, which aren't even blended, just blunt chops. She took off easily and 1.5" of hair (not a HUGE deal when you have long hair, but now my hair barely brushed my shoulders again. In addition, due to the layers, it looks considerably shorter and awkwardly shaped to where I can no longer where it down, just in a half-up, half-down style, which when combines with the blunt bangs and and round face, makes me look approximately 12.

But wait, it gets worse!

I have dandruff, which typically I used natural soothing solutions on, but I was in a hurry and was getting together with my boyfriend and didn't want embarrassing flakes, so I grabbed Head n' Shoulders. Huge. Mistake. I looked like an inverted cheetah, black with paler, orangey spots all over! Panicked, I drove my distraught self to a salon and cried while she put stripper on my beautiful silky hair which I had finally grown out the damage from my bleached Mohawk (an interesting phase in my life). Well, that was awful also, so now it's mostly dark brown with deep mahogany/black streaks and it's so dry at the ends!

Needless to say, my self confidence is shot, I cant hardly run my fingers through some sections and I am terrified what might happen if I get the damage "trimmed" out. I feel like I did in elementary school, always trying to have the hair like the pretty girls, but failing with my blunt bangs and ugly hair colour.

I'm not really looking for a "fix" (there are none but time for this miserableness to grow out, years from now I may like it), just maybe some who this has happened to and an assurance that it will be okay. I'm starting to feel like I will never have the gorgeous, healthy hair that the women on here have and that maybe I should start my own forum "The Unfortunate, Choppy, Miserable Hair Community"

[lovinglocks]

About 5 years ago, my hair was APL. Went to a salon, the woman misunderstood, the front of my hair didn't even reach my chin, and she used an electric razor on the back. Go ahead 5 years, and I get talked into donating my hair which I grew out, so it was back to shorter than chin length. I HATE my short hair, it's awkward wavy/curly and I had to straighten it every day for it to look okay.

I feel SO bad for you. Have some hope, though. Stop touching your hair! Let it grow, oil it, keep what you can up as much as possible. And for dandruff, have you tried occassionally oiling your scalp with oils such as coconut oil?

[FireFlies55]

LovingLocks,

Addressing the last part first, yes I usually use oils, they take a while to sit then rinse, like I said, I was in a hurry and stupid.

I am no longer doing anything to it. It will look dumb because I am a natural blonde with DARK hair, so I will be oddly multi-tonal, but I am just gonna leave it be.

Thank you for the support. It is hard because I finally LIKED my hair for the first time in years of putting it through abuse because it was the reason I was mocked so much in school. My boyfriend says it's "fine", but I miss him being able to run his fingers through it. Unfortunately, it's nearly summer time in Alabama, too, which means washing everyday and the future just looks so dim today.

Just a side note: How damaging is it to have the top few layers loosely pulled or pinned back everyday? It's the only way it looks decent, but I will stop if I really have to for the health of my hair.

[spidermom]

I'd do a few deep treatments on it, concentrating especially on the ends. We have a recipe here called SMT that you can whip up yourself, or you can buy an over-the-counter treatment. I like Joice KPak Reconstructor, also Regis olive oil mask.

I have no problem with cone products (like dimethicone); they help a lot with detangling. If you aren't avoiding them, take advantage.

[lovinglocks]

I would think pinning it back would be fine, as long as the clips don't snag your hair, or the elastics don't have metal in them. I wear my hair up almost daily with claws that kind of just hold the hair.

I know what you mean! Twice I was at a happy length and then it was short again. I'm finally a little passed shoulder length so I'm happy I have progress.

My hair tends to be brittle and break, I assume from when I dyed it all the time and straightened it. I've started putting an egg in my hair once a week, and it seems so much healthier, maybe give that a try? I also wash my hair almost daily as I go to the gym, so I just make sure it's oiled before the gym.

[Sillage]

I'd do a few deep treatments on it, concentrating especially on the ends. We have a recipe here called SMT that you can whip up yourself, or you can buy an over-the-counter treatment. I like Joice KPak Reconstructor, also Regis olive oil mask.

I have no problem with cone products (like dimethicone); they help a lot with detangling. If you aren't avoiding them, take advantage.

Seconding everything SpiderMom said and also recommending ApHogee 2 Step (http://www.sallybeauty.com/Aphogree-treatment/SBS-670567,default,pd.html?cm_vc=SEARCH)(which you can also buy in a larger bottle (http://www.sallybeauty.com/protein-hair-treatment/APHOGE4,default,pd.html?cm_vc=SEARCH)and use your own conditioner) and Ion Extreme Moisture Creme (http://www.sallybeauty.com/deep-conditioner/ION110,default,pd.html?cm_vc=SEARCH)(great for SMTs or alone).

[TiffanieJean]

Jojoba Oil is the best for dry scalp! It helped me a lot... You should consider trying it out (I have a blog post about it on my profile).


I'm sorry about all of the unfortunate hair situations! I went to a salon one time and wanted a trim and a little layering one time, and ended up with about 6 inches of my hair gone and a 80's style layering that looked horrible... So, I kind of know what you feel like. It's not fun.. The good thing about hair (and nails) is that they grow back :o

[Coffeebug]

I'm really sorry to hear things haven't exactly gone as planned with your hair. It's often not as bad as it first seems though - it's amazing what it can recover from so keep your fingers crossed and pamper it. It'd give it a little while before you do anything drastic like go for a trim, because it could improve.

[lapushka]

BTDT, going from one color to the next, henna'ing and chemical-dying back and forth. Not pleasant. Like spidermom says, use some DTs on it and when it feels better, you'll feel better. Spoil your hair some. Protein treatments, moisture treatments, ...

[Baby]

I feel for you, I have gone through a lot of hair mistakes and changed my mind about colors a lot of times(and I never seem to learn from my mistakes).
Just let it be, take time to let it grow, stop thinking about it(easier said than done when ones selfesteem is depening on good hair sometimes). Think about other things and you will see that it will grow out in no time and that the condition will improve by doing nothing than the usual routine.

[natural_shine]

1- It's just hair. It grows back. It's like crying over a broken plate... no sense in doing so.

2- All the drama going on in this world- starving children, eartquakes, floods, tsunamis... bad hair is not even close to being "a problem".

3- Condition it deeply and use an ant-dandruff dermatological shampoo. Like Nizoral, for example... but ask at the pharmacy,. there are other stuff too.

4- get a shave. Bid deal... grows back in no time, thicker even. I repeat- it's just hair. Stop over-reacting. Think of those who do chemo... you're blessed in every way, you don't even have a problem. Save your tears for something worth the pain.

[swearnsue]

Don't blame yourself for letting others talk you into doing things you know in your heart aren't right for you. This time! Now you know to do what you think is best for yourself. There are so many great posts and articles (see above at the top of your screen) about hair care and dandruff remedies. I bet your hair looks a lot better than you think it does anyway. If that is a photo of you on your post, then you are very pretty no matter what you do to your hair. Be patient and your hair will get back to where you like it in to time!

[ktani]

So, I posted a long while back about my mistake of cutting my 14" of hair up to a bob. I've been letting it grow, and it was barely BSL finally! It was a pretty, henna reddish brown and I liked it. Then, when wanting a change, I allowed my mom to talk me into black dye (from a box). So I had jet black, long-ish, silky hair -- not the best, but still pretty.

Then I wanted to get my bangs trimmed. I have pudgy cheeks and have always liked myself better with bangs. They had grown out to near not existence, more a layer than true bangs. I went to a stylist, unlike usually when I do my bangs myself. I told her to "trim" the dead ends and refresh the one, low layer I have that keeps my thick, Irish hair from being awkward and boxy. So, now I have blunt fringe and choppy, emo kid layers, which aren't even blended, just blunt chops. She took off easily and 1.5" of hair (not a HUGE deal when you have long hair, but now my hair barely brushed my shoulders again. In addition, due to the layers, it looks considerably shorter and awkwardly shaped to where I can no longer where it down, just in a half-up, half-down style, which when combines with the blunt bangs and and round face, makes me look approximately 12.

But wait, it gets worse!

I have dandruff, which typically I used natural soothing solutions on, but I was in a hurry and was getting together with my boyfriend and didn't want embarrassing flakes, so I grabbed Head n' Shoulders. Huge. Mistake. I looked like an inverted cheetah, black with paler, orangey spots all over! Panicked, I drove my distraught self to a salon and cried while she put stripper on my beautiful silky hair which I had finally grown out the damage from my bleached Mohawk (an interesting phase in my life). Well, that was awful also, so now it's mostly dark brown with deep mahogany/black streaks and it's so dry at the ends!

Needless to say, my self confidence is shot, I cant hardly run my fingers through some sections and I am terrified what might happen if I get the damage "trimmed" out. I feel like I did in elementary school, always trying to have the hair like the pretty girls, but failing with my blunt bangs and ugly hair colour.

I'm not really looking for a "fix" (there are none but time for this miserableness to grow out, years from now I may like it), just maybe some who this has happened to and an assurance that it will be okay. I'm starting to feel like I will never have the gorgeous, healthy hair that the women on here have and that maybe I should start my own forum "The Unfortunate, Choppy, Miserable Hair Community"

The damage will grow out. It will be fine.

In the meantime, you can help it look and feel better pretty quickly, http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showpost.php?p=1963232&postcount=100

More on mineral oil/baby oil in my blog below, and here, http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=86298.

ETA: Just use a few small drops on damp hair, to help rehydrate your hair, aid in detangling and smooth it, adding shine.

[kitcatsmeow]

1- It's just hair. It grows back. It's like crying over a broken plate... no sense in doing so.

2- All the drama going on in this world- starving children, eartquakes, floods, tsunamis... bad hair is not even close to being "a problem".

3- Condition it deeply and use an ant-dandruff dermatological shampoo. Like Nizoral, for example... but ask at the pharmacy,. there are other stuff too.

4- get a shave. Bid deal... grows back in no time, thicker even. I repeat- it's just hair. Stop over-reacting. Think of those who do chemo... you're blessed in every way, you don't even have a problem. Save your tears for something worth the pain.

Wow that was a tad harsh, yeah? While I understand EXACTLY where your coming from and what your saying, hair is not called your "crown and glory" for nothin. It's a big part of self esteem and confidence for many and cannot be written off as easily. :rolleyes:

Anyway to the OP. Take a week to regroup before you do anything else to your hair. I had a similar situation when I stripped the dye out of my hair last summer and then AFTER I got all my pretty blonde back I stupidly paid money to have two hair dressers ruin my hair with a Brazilian Keratin Treatment and then the other dyed it BLUE. Oh yeah good times lol.

After assessing the damage I decided to cut off about 5-6 inches. The shortest broken pieces were bang length but at the BACK of my head. Ugh. I shudder thinking about it. I wish I had been brave enough then to cut it to at least chin but I cut it from BSL.

Now most of it is one layer and when the time comes I'll have to start cutting again to even out the last breakage layer but I won't have to cut it as short!

Since the hairdresser stripped your hair the aphogee treatment someone suggest my be just what you need and be SURE to follow with lots of moisture like Spidermom suggested the SMT. Those saved my hair.

If you heat style quit if you can or cut way back.

But IMHO....If your layers are that ragged I really suggest you just get it over with and get it cut. Make sure your trust the stylist you go to. Bring pictures and be very clear so you get a cut you can gracefully grow out back to your long hair.

Good luck and keep us posted!

[jojo]

1- It's just hair. It grows back. It's like crying over a broken plate... no sense in doing so.

2- All the drama going on in this world- starving children, eartquakes, floods, tsunamis... bad hair is not even close to being "a problem".

3- Condition it deeply and use an ant-dandruff dermatological shampoo. Like Nizoral, for example... but ask at the pharmacy,. there are other stuff too.

4- get a shave. Bid deal... grows back in no time, thicker even. I repeat- it's just hair. Stop over-reacting. Think of those who do chemo... you're blessed in every way, you don't even have a problem. Save your tears for something worth the pain.

Was there really any need to be so blunt and cruel with your reply? The OP is obviously upset at her experience, yes it is only hair but having been through something similar in the past I totally understand the psychological affect this can have. Most of the members on here see their hair as part of our personality and to go through something like this can have a huge impact on how we view ourselves.

For the OP I am really sorry you are feeling quite rightly upset, big hugs coming your way. you have got lots of good advice that I can't add to. Hope your feeling better soon xx

[dulce]

Am sorry,it's tough.Been there ,done that.My advice is to grit your teeth,grow and condition daily,do your own cuts and stay away from salons and any chemicals and heat.Once I did that my hair improved immensely.Don't do any more quick fixes ,it'll just make it worse.Maybe either wear it up or cut it off so it won't bug you.

[Sillage]

1- It's just hair. It grows back. It's like crying over a broken plate... no sense in doing so.

2- All the drama going on in this world- starving children, eartquakes, floods, tsunamis... bad hair is not even close to being "a problem".

3- Condition it deeply and use an ant-dandruff dermatological shampoo. Like Nizoral, for example... but ask at the pharmacy,. there are other stuff too.

4- get a shave. Bid deal... grows back in no time, thicker even. I repeat- it's just hair. Stop over-reacting. Think of those who do chemo... you're blessed in every way, you don't even have a problem. Save your tears for something worth the pain.

http://i.imgur.com/x2WWe.gif

rolling up the window on this rude post

[dulce]

As well as conditioning daily and using a home conditioning hair mask weekly,I used a clear shine hair serum on my ends daily .This is what brought my hair back plus I stopped ANY hair dyes,that made so much difference!Good Luck,it'll grow fast once you baby it.

[jojo]

^^ daily CO washes did the world of good for my hair too, as has using MO after each wash, it really helps preserve ends.

[holothuroidea]

I am sure that you would have gorgeous hair like everyone here if you just let it be itself. If you don't like your natural hair color, you can check out the blonde or blonette appreciation threads for some inspiration. I went through a long phase of hair type/color self-depreciation and it took me a long time and a lot of mistakes to learn to embrace what I have.

Give it time, be kind and gentle to yourself and your hair, and you will be fine. :flower:

[Hollyfire3]

Was there really any need to be so blunt and cruel with your reply? The OP is obviously upset at her experience, yes it is only hair but having been through something similar in the past I totally understand the psychological affect this can have. Most of the members on here see their hair as part of our personality and to go through something like this can have a huge impact on how we view ourselves.

For the OP I am really sorry you are feeling quite rightly upset, big hugs coming your way. you have got lots of good advice that I can't add to. Hope your feeling better soon xx

OH so very true jojo, i know how it feels to go through somthing like this, true, it seems to be only hair, but us, it is MUCH more than that.:)
To the OP, hang in there, don't try anything crazy, baby your hair, put it up, do something for it, then , try and forget you even HAVE hair as it grows out, i try NOT to obsess on my hair (currently screwed at this time also) but it IS hard, on the bright side, once it is the worst, it can only get better! (when did I learn to be so optimistic....must have turned over a new leaf in the furture....lol:D)

[jacqueline101]

I had attempted to cut layers in the side the chunky layers and got them too short back in 07 it was cheek bone length and the other one was shorter.

[sarelis]

Try not to worry hun, mine has been dyed permanent box dye black for nearly 10 yrs, stripped, bleached, over processed & turned to chewing gum. I felt like it would never be ok, but with the appropriate care it's actually closely mimicking healthy hair, it shines & everything!!, it's amazing how much it can recover with a few treatments! xx

[jeanniet]

It'll be OK. Don't beat yourself up for what's already happened, just look forward to how great your hair will look once this part has grown out and been trimmed off. Healthier hair will grow in, and in the meantime you can learn as much as possible about taking care of it. Joico K-Pak is great stuff for damaged hair.

[Alvrodul]

I second the advice others here have given you, especially about SMTs - they make my hair wonderful and soft. But since you have dyed hair, you might also look into protein treatments - a homemade one is simply low-sodium soy sauce mixed with some water and left on for half an hour or so.
I can also recommend coconut oil! It can be use both as a leave-in and as a pre-wash treatment - I am currently sitting here with my length full of coconut oil and my roots and scalp anointed with a blend that contains neem, among other things. Smells to high heaven! :p:rolleyes::cheese:

[Annibelle]

For a protein treatment, you might try cassia, but make sure you do a moisture treatment with it! :) And what about henna? I don't think it would cover the darker parts, but maybe it would bring the tone all together so at least the hair had the same sort of look going on, even if the shades were different? Of course, don't try henna if you are just trying to get your natural color back... :) Good luck with whatever you decide to do, and welcome to LHC!!!

[Kathie]

There comes a point where you just have to leave it. Don't try and fix it, colour it, or cut it. Just let it be, let it grow and slowly trim away at those ends. It takes time but natural hair is silky, shiny and soft... you need to give it a chance.

[justgreen]

Chiming in with the others on SMT and lots of treatments and plastic caps. Sleep with a treatment on freshly washed damp hair. Get empathy from us on a daily basis. :-) Ignore negative remarks.

[justgreen]

1- It's just hair. It grows back. It's like crying over a broken plate... no sense in doing so.

2- All the drama going on in this world- starving children, eartquakes, floods, tsunamis... bad hair is not even close to being "a problem".

3- Condition it deeply and use an ant-dandruff dermatological shampoo. Like Nizoral, for example... but ask at the pharmacy,. there are other stuff too.

4- get a shave. Bid deal... grows back in no time, thicker even. I repeat- it's just hair. Stop over-reacting. Think of those who do chemo... you're blessed in every way, you don't even have a problem. Save your tears for something worth the pain.

The only decent advice you gave the OP was #3, on the dandruff.

I see you are really new to the forum and haven't even listedyour hair details. Why is that? Also wanted to mention that we Never give advice to shave. That was not very KNIT of you. I will stop here before i post how i REALLY feel.

[Seeshami]

When I over processed my hair I found Dove Damage Therapy Intensive Repair Conditioner. It's probably not the greatest stuff. But when I was trying really hard to get rid of my henna I dyed it multiple times in a week and that's just bad business. An hour of sitting with this conditioner on my head and I think it saved my hair. I can actually wash it on wash days now with out it feeling like straw. I do have to condition first though still and I let it sit for five minutes.

I also mix it in with herbal and chemical hair dye. Generally the mix is 50% or more of the Dove. I loves it and I won't look at the ingredients because I can't imagine it's the best stuff.

[Java]

I also have royally screwed up my hair in the past. It took me what seems like forever to get it back to were I started! I believe it took so long because I didn't know how to take care of it. Things I would have done differently may help you get some ideas, so here they are;

Deep scalp oiling, I have used castor as a base, with varied other oils like sesame, avocado, and olive oil. Also use a drop or two of some essential oils, like lavender and ylang ylang.

To use less shampoo, on days I want to CO I apply aloe vera gel and/or vegetable glycerin to scalp overnight and massage, in the morning use cone-free conditioner to massage the roots more and I also massage in a mix of water, molasses and vinegar, then rinse with ice cold water.

Massage every chance I get. I feel I didn't do enough of this growing out.

Deep moisture, my favorite is a modified Caramel Treatment. ( I add coconut milk)

Feed my hair, protein, vegetables, etc.

Be positive. I am bound to get what I want with the determination I apply.

SO there you have it. Things I wish I would have done more of to get back to were I started.
Now I am back were I started, I plan on incorporating cayenne pepper, and sulfur into my routine.

I know how you feel, and its rough. Find some ways to spend time laughing and have fun, and do some spoiling of yourself and hair to bounce back strong.
You will thrive! Your hair will grow back, possibly in better condition than if you hadn't gone through this!
Also, I used henna and indigo one step and that really seemed to be a positive for the condition of my hair. You may find the same thing. And if I remember right, doing indigo over henna will give you a beautiful black. It is permanent, though. I use BAQ. (body art quality)

[bubblyredhead]

About 5 years- geez has it been that long?!?!- I was dyeing my hair every week to keep up with roots ( i HATE roots even a tiny bit) and I was dyeing my light red hair a dark almost black brown with purple ( yap half of my hair was bleached). One day after being sick of being a brunette I stripped all my color out with color opps my hair was like straw literally I looked like Albert Einstein if his hair would have been BSL except bleach blonde instead of gray. Needless to say so not a smexy look. I poured on all the conditioner I had and stuffed it into a ponytail promising it I would make it happy if it stayed put and behaved while I speed race to sallys. I tried the Aphrogee 2 step and my hair was sooo much better...

Ok Now that I have shared my lovely story... I say try Aphrogee 2 step and use a SMT or other deep heavy duty moisture treatment and keep doing the moisture treatments every couple days depending on how your hair is reacting. You could also try a front clip in extension hair piece it might help some.

Since hair takes awhile to behave I personally would say go get a new eyeshadow or lipstick maybe even a new pair of shoes or outfit that makes you feel pretty. Maybe a mani and pedi?

So sorry about the book long post my heart does go out to you, bad hair is the pits * e-hug*

[Of the Fae]

It will be fine :) I made the same mistake many many times, and many times has the hairdresser taken off too much, many times have I dyed it, and bleached it out again, resulting in hair that had to be chopped off...
I bleached out henna once, and my hair had turned green/orange! I cried for almost half an hour and had to ad an ashblonde toner to even begin fixing it. Needless to say the damage was done.

Just be patient and grow it out, or use henna (if you want to!) to correct the dryness and brittleness (saved my awful bleached hair from being cut more than once).
Cassia is also an option btw! It does not colour your hair, but ads shine and thickness. Also it will give it a golden glow for a month or so.

Honey/oil masks have always worked for me as well :)

I wish you all the best luck, I bet a lot of us know how this feels! You're not alone :p

[HintOfMint]

So, I posted a long while back about my mistake of cutting my 14" of hair up to a bob. I've been letting it grow, and it was barely BSL finally! It was a pretty, henna reddish brown and I liked it. Then, when wanting a change, I allowed my mom to talk me into black dye (from a box). So I had jet black, long-ish, silky hair -- not the best, but still pretty.

Then I wanted to get my bangs trimmed. I have pudgy cheeks and have always liked myself better with bangs. They had grown out to near not existence, more a layer than true bangs. I went to a stylist, unlike usually when I do my bangs myself. I told her to "trim" the dead ends and refresh the one, low layer I have that keeps my thick, Irish hair from being awkward and boxy. So, now I have blunt fringe and choppy, emo kid layers, which aren't even blended, just blunt chops. She took off easily and 1.5" of hair (not a HUGE deal when you have long hair, but now my hair barely brushed my shoulders again. In addition, due to the layers, it looks considerably shorter and awkwardly shaped to where I can no longer where it down, just in a half-up, half-down style, which when combines with the blunt bangs and and round face, makes me look approximately 12.

But wait, it gets worse!

I have dandruff, which typically I used natural soothing solutions on, but I was in a hurry and was getting together with my boyfriend and didn't want embarrassing flakes, so I grabbed Head n' Shoulders. Huge. Mistake. I looked like an inverted cheetah, black with paler, orangey spots all over! Panicked, I drove my distraught self to a salon and cried while she put stripper on my beautiful silky hair which I had finally grown out the damage from my bleached Mohawk (an interesting phase in my life). Well, that was awful also, so now it's mostly dark brown with deep mahogany/black streaks and it's so dry at the ends!

Needless to say, my self confidence is shot, I cant hardly run my fingers through some sections and I am terrified what might happen if I get the damage "trimmed" out. I feel like I did in elementary school, always trying to have the hair like the pretty girls, but failing with my blunt bangs and ugly hair colour.

I'm not really looking for a "fix" (there are none but time for this miserableness to grow out, years from now I may like it), just maybe some who this has happened to and an assurance that it will be okay. I'm starting to feel like I will never have the gorgeous, healthy hair that the women on here have and that maybe I should start my own forum "The Unfortunate, Choppy, Miserable Hair Community"

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. Everyone else has given great advice, and I have very little experience with color, so I don't have much advice, just sympathy.

I also have a round face (and a low forehead to boot!) and it's shocking that she gave you blunt bangs! Stylists should be aware of the face that they're dealing with.

Also, I'm really surprised head and shoulders reacted with your color that way! Was it a dodgy bottle, or was the color too new??

I can understand old feelings from younger days coming back. Sometimes I get that same flushed insecure feeling from awkward days in middle school, particularly when I'm having my ugly days. The feelings pass and you'll become more comfortable with your hair as you grow out the damage. It's a marathon, not a sprint. A ton of us went through growing out mistakes ranging from perms and bleach, to bad haircuts. Not to mention the awkward phases in growing out an "edgy" inverted bob.

You'll be fine, and you'll always have sympathy here at LHC.

[FireFlies55]

First, please let me say I am so sorry for the reply taking so long.

Thank y'all for the advice. I have been leaving it alone and it seems to be a miracle (sorta). I have been doing my CWC every other day and finger-combing it out. I've been letting my natural texture reign free with (gentle) updos and the occasional down day. I'm quite proud that I resisted the urge to "fix" it. But after advice specifically not to, I restrained. It feels better, even if the cut is not ideal. I had a small pick-me-up when a guy in class casually mentioned how I should wear it down more often, because it's so pretty.

Thank you even more for all the support! I realise it's not even close to "right" again, but I am through my panic phase -- so much bad in such a short time span with very few of my own choices left me in a crazed "Oh, my God, it'll always be awful and my life is over and, and, and ..." state of mind. Hearing sound advice from people who've been there, and people who KNOW beautiful hair really calmed me down. Also, thank you for the "sticking up for me" against my first troll. Just to set aside any concerns I felt the need to write this address to natural_shine:

I know hair is not the biggest problem in the world, or even in my life, but it is a problem, my problem. I came here for support from people who understand that hair is not the be-all and end-all, but it's a part of your identity and it matter. as for your comment on chemo patients, it was wonderful of you to assume that I've never known someone who lost hair due to chemo. My sister had ovarian cancer 3 1/2 years ago and I shaved my head (it was only a bob) bald to support her. I know what it's like to have a shave, it's not as easy as it sounds. Thanks for your advice on the dandruff though. :)

Special thanks to all of you who specifically have gone through the same over processing for assuring me I am not a totally idiot or a serious hair failure and to HintOfMint for your kind words about the feelings of insecurity, that made me smile.

[jeanniet]

I bet there is not a single person on this forum who hasn't done something to their hair that they deeply regretted afterward. I know I have, and it's pretty awful. Hair grows back, but it's not an instant fix and it's pretty hard to live with the consequences. I hope you at least feel better now. I also hope that your sister is is better health now, if that's not an insensitive comment. :)

[Arya]

I just wanted to share a story with you. *click the picture link to see what I'm talking about*

http://ll-media.tmz.com/2010/01/13/0112_rihanna_peppa-1.jpg

The girl on the left is rihanna. The girl on the right is Sandra Denton (AKA Pepa) from iconic 80's hip-hop group Salt-n-Pepa. Pepa's one-side-shaved haircut was HUGE in the 80's, and made a recent comeback, and everyone from Mel B from the Spice Girls to Willow Smith to Elle style editor Kate Lanphear is wearing it.

But it started out as a *total accident*

SALT: We’ve may have had a lot of bad looks over the years, but we've also been trendsetters – especially our asymmetrical haircuts. But that was really Pep’s original style. A lot of women imitated that look.

PEPA: Yeah definitely, a lot of people compare that haircut with what Rihanna is doing these days. They put my picture and hers side by side in a lot of articles. It’s funny because that hairstyle was an accident. My sister was perming my hair one day and she kind of burnt me on one side of my head. She tried to fix it by giving me a back cut but just made it worse and worse on one side, so I was like ‘just cut it off!’ Didn't you put some lines in my hair too?

SALT: Yeah!

PEPA: (laughs) And I used a brown pencil to cover up the little bald spots. I even tried ashes from a cigarette! I tried everything to cover it up!

SALT: You were crying! Do you remember that?

PEPA: Yeahhh (laughs)

SALT: I felt so bad for you, but look what came of it – one of the most popular hairstyles in hip-hop culture. I ended up cutting my hair in the same style to make it ‘our look’. I was always end up following you with the looks.


http://www.socialstereotype.com/_/Interviews/Entries/2010/3/17_SALT-N-PEPA.html

So there ya go! If you have enough self confidence, you rock even the WORST haircut (and maybe even inspire others!). And you said yourself, someone recently said it was really pretty, so it can't be as bad as you thought at first.

So don't worry too much, it's not that bad right now, and it'll get better and better soon. The worst is definitely over already, right?

[Vanille_]

I feel for you. I agree that you should do everything you can to protect and moisturize it. Besides that, I'd recommend benign neglect. Honestly, I was upset about my hair for a while and the best thing for my own sanity was benign neglect to the point of not coming here. I joined another forum about another hobby and focused on that. Coming to this forum made me even more sad because I was constantly reminding myself of how unhappy my hair was making me.

I would never wish for you to leave, but do what is best for you.

Good luck!

[Dragon Faery]

*hugs!*

I'm glad you and your hair are on the road to recovery. :)

The cool thing is, you know that you are capable of growing healthy, silky hair. Good luck on your journey!

[honeydippedxo]

You poor thing. Hugsss for you sweetie, I totally feel for you! I know what you're going through. I been through the whole horrible choppy layered thing and dreading to have to wait years to have long pretty hair. Ok every time I try to take someone's "advice" to "improve" my image, I end up looking way worse. I finally realized I look best doing everything my own way, and that staying as close to natural as I can is what works best for me. It's gonna take sometime to undo all the "advice damage" I've done to myself...hair wise. So I'm with you on this waiting-it-out journey. Lots of love to you xoxo Cheer up. C:

[ladyfey]

I also love Nizoral shampoo. Only thing that has helped my dandruff!