Extremely demotivated :(

[Humbug454]

I've recently started getting trims every 3-4 months, taking about an inch off each time (I've only had 3 trims so far after 2 years of growing without trimming at all).

But I can't seem to outgrow the damage. Only the right side of my head is making me sad though :(
It seems to be constantly damaged, there aren't many split ends, but the hair is thinner, paler and flicks up all over the place at the ends.

I've tried to have small trims to outgrow the damage but it doesn't seem to be helping....but I don't want to take a huge amount off :(

I also think the right side is breaking off because the damaged hair is thinner and therefore feels like its growing slower.

Just feeling very demotivated about it all really :taz:

[Siiri]

Why do you think you have more damage on the right side, was it highlighted or something? How do you wear your hair when you sleep and what kind of pillow case are your using? Maybe you are sleeping on your right side, and in so doing getting more damage to the right side of your hair while it rubs against the pillow?

[roxee]

maybe some protien treatments would help strengthen your hair, do use use any oils or do and overnight treatments?

[Anje]

What are you doing with your hair, that the trims don't keep up with the damage? Bleaching? Perms? Heat styling? Leaving it loose for motorcycle rides?

[Humbug454]

Why do you think you have more damage on the right side, was it highlighted or something? How do you wear your hair when you sleep and what kind of pillow case are your using? Maybe you are sleeping on your right side, and in so doing getting more damage to the right side of your hair while it rubs against the pillow?

I'm not exactly sure about why it's more damaged, I think it might be because when it was shorter I had a fringe, so the right side of my head was always exposed.
I always wear my hair down when I sleep, I'm not using any special kind of pillow cases as Ive always been sceptical as to how much they really help your hair.

[Humbug454]

maybe some protien treatments would help strengthen your hair, do use use any oils or do and overnight treatments?

I use coconut oil, but that's it for oiling, not sure how to use anything else really!

[Humbug454]

What are you doing with your hair, that the trims don't keep up with the damage? Bleaching? Perms? Heat styling? Leaving it loose for motorcycle rides?

I'm not doing anything to damage it anymore! I don't use heat on it, no dyeing or anything. I've never dyed it and never will.

I used to blow dry my hair literally every day for a couple of years, but for the past 6 months or so I've stopped all that completely. But that can't be the reason for the damage because my left side of hair is fine, only the right that is really bad!

I will try to upload some photos to show you what I mean soon :)

[whitedove]

I have a theory about why people have more damage on one side. Simply is that right handed people will have more damage to the right and vise versa for the lefties. That because its your dominant side, you will be harsher when combing, brushing also when placing hair around ear. You will also most likey sleep on that side too. All this mounts up over time and damage shows.

I have just started using satin pillow, its been nice to sleep on but as for seeing if damage is reduced only time will tell.

[heidi w.]

I'm not exactly sure about why it's more damaged, I think it might be because when it was shorter I had a fringe, so the right side of my head was always exposed.
I always wear my hair down when I sleep, I'm not using any special kind of pillow cases as Ive always been sceptical as to how much they really help your hair.

Use a "special" pillowcase. If you want to see how it helps hair, you can look at my Hair Album on LHC. Did you shave one side of your head in the past or something? I'm thinking a natural "weak spot" as it's known by George Michael long hair hair salon system, but I'm not certain. The first thought I had was what is she sleeping on and is she a right side sleeper?

The pillowcase needs to be of a fabric that allows hair to slide while you toss and turn. I use satin, but there's also sateen (cheaper than satin and a bit easier to find) and polyester. Cotton is not so very slick, it turns out.

And the other biggie: wear your hair up. Makes a huge difference over time. Huge.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

I use coconut oil, but that's it for oiling, not sure how to use anything else really!

Do you oil the length and use a boar bristle brush to polish the hair after you've oiled the length? How much are you using and what is your technique for application?

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

I have a theory about why people have more damage on one side. Simply is that right handed people will have more damage to the right and vise versa for the lefties. That because its your dominant side, you will be harsher when combing, brushing also when placing hair around ear. You will also most likey sleep on that side too. All this mounts up over time and damage shows.

I have just started using satin pillow, its been nice to sleep on but as for seeing if damage is reduced only time will tell.

Correct. Sleeping on such a pillowcase will not produce immediate and obvious improvement. It's a detail, and hair care is in the details -- add up all the details and that's how you have va-va-voom hair in time. It's the consistency in the details combined with a certain amount of benign neglect -- and wearing hair up ALL the time.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

I'm not doing anything to damage it anymore! I don't use heat on it, no dyeing or anything. I've never dyed it and never will.

I used to blow dry my hair literally every day for a couple of years, but for the past 6 months or so I've stopped all that completely. But that can't be the reason for the damage because my left side of hair is fine, only the right that is really bad!

I will try to upload some photos to show you what I mean soon :)

Blow fry. aha. OK, you ceased this habit a mere 6 months ago. Ok, you're still in the wake of recovering from blow frying. It takes more than 6 months to recover from a bad habit we have with hair, and any resulting damage. Hair grows a mere half inch per month. 6 months means a mere 3 inches of growth, give or take.

heidi w.

[spidermom]

A silky pillowcase will help - truly.

Give it time. It sounds like you've only had 3 inches trimmed off so far, and you probably started with more damage than that.

I like to do deep conditioning treatments on my hair from time to time. A good one is called SMT, and there's a recipe for it here. I've been buying treatments over the counter; a good one is Joico KPak.

[heidi w.]

Don't be disheartened. You're simply expecting too much too soon, and don't understand fully how hair grows. Its an education curve to become informed. But you're correct to ask questions regarding what you might be doing and can be doing to improve the area of hair that is posing problems for you.

We want to nip problems in the bud, if we can.

You're actually on the right track. Don't give up. It's too soon to give up. Growing hair takes a lot of time, and lots of patience.

Are you detangling properly, from the bottom up?
Are you washing properly, as in NOT plopping hair on the head and scrubbing, which creates tangles? Instead wash standing in the shower, back to shower water, and wash the length hanging down?

heidi w.

[Humbug454]

Do you oil the length and use a boar bristle brush to polish the hair after you've oiled the length? How much are you using and what is your technique for application?

heidi w.

I followed a guide written on this site, just rub a small amount in my palms to melt it and then run my hands through the ends of my hair, I only oil from the ears down as I read that oiling near the scalp is not good for the natural oils.

I don't use a boar bristle brush as I also read on the site that these brushes aren't good for people with damaged hair, so I decided to stay away from these as I really don't want to increase damage further! :P

[heidi w.]

A silky pillowcase will help - truly.

Give it time. It sounds like you've only had 3 inches trimmed off so far, and you probably started with more damage than that.

I like to do deep conditioning treatments on my hair from time to time. A good one is called SMT, and there's a recipe for it here. I've been buying treatments over the counter; a good one is Joico KPak.

Second vote for a deep conditioning treatment. SMT = Snowymoon's Moisture Treatment. It's proven to be very popular here at LHC. There's also Fox' recipe (may be on the old board forum, but she's the webmaster of another free hair care site, The Long Hair Loom). I myself use Matrix Biolage's Conditioning Balm, but ONLY only on the length--and each time that I condition/full wash my hair. Never on scalp skin related hair.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

I followed a guide written on this site, just rub a small amount in my palms to melt it and then run my hands through the ends of my hair, I only oil from the ears down as I read that oiling near the scalp is not good for the natural oils.

I don't use a boar bristle brush as I also read on the site that these brushes aren't good for people with damaged hair, so I decided to stay away from these as I really don't want to increase damage further! :P

OK, you're oiling properly. You can BBB if you oiled, but you're correct, if your hair is super damaged, then wait to use a BBB to distribute applied oils throughout the length.

FYI: A BBB "polishes" the hair. One detangles prior to BBB and brushes with a BBB top down (reverse of detangling). If you encounter a tangle while BBBing work it out with fingers or detangling comb, not the BBB.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

A close-up photo will help, and taken in very good light. Not dull bathroom light. Then we can see better what you're talking about. It's hard to get these kind of photos, though. Just do what you can.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

maybe some protien treatments would help strengthen your hair, do use use any oils or do and overnight treatments?

Lots to know before going protein treatment. There can be problems if one has too much protein, too.

heidi w.

[Humbug454]

[QUOTE=heidi w.;2020826
Are you detangling properly, from the bottom up?
Are you washing properly, as in NOT plopping hair on the head and scrubbing, which creates tangles? Instead wash standing in the shower, back to shower water, and wash the length hanging down?

heidi w.[/QUOTE]

Yes I always detangle from the bottom then work my way up - as expected, the more damaged side is always more tangly!
Washing properly as well :)

I think you're right that I'm expecting too much too soon, but it's just so frustrating!

I'll try to get a photo of my left side, and of my right side to show you what I mean.

Thank you for your help so far though, and words of encouragement :)

[heidi w.]

I have a theory about why people have more damage on one side. Simply is that right handed people will have more damage to the right and vise versa for the lefties. That because its your dominant side, you will be harsher when combing, brushing also when placing hair around ear. You will also most likey sleep on that side too. All this mounts up over time and damage shows.

I have just started using satin pillow, its been nice to sleep on but as for seeing if damage is reduced only time will tell.

This actually makes a certain amount of sense and may have a valid idea here. This is another reason we advise to detangle slowly and with patience. Do not be in a hurry, when it comes to hair, ever. I still have problems using a comb to detangle the right side of my hair. I detangle with my right hand, but hair is drawn forward on my left side. I'm speaking of MY right and MY left.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

Yes I always detangle from the bottom then work my way up - as expected, the more damaged side is always more tangly!
Washing properly as well :)

I think you're right that I'm expecting too much too soon, but it's just so frustrating!

I'll try to get a photo of my left side, and of my right side to show you what I mean.

Thank you for your help so far though, and words of encouragement :)

You're doing well. And it IS frustrating until we get used to it. The whole thing takes time. It's a process. Just back away from the comb and breathe deeply and go on about your day, and know that a year from now, everything will be different.

This will not last forever.

I recommend Naturally Healthy Hair book for you. It's a great book with loads of information and home recipes you can make yourself. I ignored the last chapter or so on styling. But the rest of the book is quite good. Pay attention to how hair grows information. It's basic essential information. The author is Mary Beth Janssen, and here's a link so you can see what the cover looks like. The book is not traditionally stocked on bookstore shelves, but it MAY be available in your local library, or a used a bookstore.

http://www.amazon.com/Naturally-Healthy-Hair-Treatments-Fabulous/dp/158017129X

heidi w.

[Anje]

I'll just add a vote for deep treatments and a silk or polyester satin pillowcase. SMTs make great treatments, and leave my hair much softer and more supple for ages afterward. If you don't like how the pillowcases feel on your face, I'm a real fan of satin sleep bonnets like this one. (http://www.amazon.com/Stay-Satin-Nites-Bonnet-Sleep/dp/B003I5SC72) Ugly, but my hair isn't tangled in the morning, and I find it far more comfortable and more effective than sleeping with my hair bunned or braided.

Do try to wear your hair up. That way it'll suffer less from friction and tangles. If your hair is as fine and fragile as mine, I'd suggest updos with sticks and smooth clips (I like Ficcares and their cheaper cousins, but a jaw clip with no sharp seams will work) rather than ones held with regular elastics. I had to swear off ponytails entirely because I had enormous breakage around the supposedly hair-safe band.

[Madora]

Correct. Sleeping on such a pillowcase will not produce immediate and obvious improvement. It's a detail, and hair care is in the details -- add up all the details and that's how you have va-va-voom hair in time. It's the consistency in the details combined with a certain amount of benign neglect -- and wearing hair up ALL the time.

heidi w.

Oh, I love it, Heidi "Va-Va-VOOM hair"!!

And definitely, the details DO make all the difference in growing long, healthy, beautiful hair!

[Octopus]

You could try to henna gloss -if I am saying this correctly- henna will add a coat to your hair and will prevent the extra damage like a shield while you are working on what is causing it. Be careful with the color thought..

[torrilin]

I'm not doing anything to damage it anymore! I don't use heat on it, no dyeing or anything. I've never dyed it and never will.

I used to blow dry my hair literally every day for a couple of years, but for the past 6 months or so I've stopped all that completely. But that can't be the reason for the damage because my left side of hair is fine, only the right that is really bad!

I will try to upload some photos to show you what I mean soon :)

Unless your hair is in a pixie cut... most of the hair on your head has at least some damage from the blow dryer.

My hair grows fairly quickly. In 1994, I cut my hair into a pixie to get rid of a perm. I didn't stop blow drying until around 1997, and because my hair grows quite quickly, I had very blunt APLish hair at the time when I quit. I didn't notice a real improvement in how many split ends I had until 2001 or so.

Now, keep in mind that my hair is fairly fine, so it is very split prone to begin with. I didn't actually give up the hair dryer as a way of improving my hair either... I was honestly too busy with college and work to bother. It was easier and faster to stick my hair in a braid or a bun and get on with my life.

Very few things with hair are quick fixes.

[heidi w.]

You could try to henna gloss -if I am saying this correctly- henna will add a coat to your hair and will prevent the extra damage like a shield while you are working on what is causing it. Be careful with the color thought..

I know that I hold a disagreeable viewpoint and unfavored viewpoint from most concerning henna. I do not recommend henna as it's claimed that it can block the uptake of conditioner and thus conditioner's effectiveness. I've known a few people who like it but in the end they have all ended up with damaged hair. I'm assisting such a person now. I feel very bad for them. For some it appears to work, and I do not know what they're doing different. Henna is not a subject that interests me, so I don't keep up with information regarding it.

Really, really do your homework before "trying" henna. One should not have to effectively cover their hair's damage with a color to prevent further damage. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

But I'm the odd man out. So carry on, and ignore me if that works best for you.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

Oh, I love it, Heidi "Va-Va-VOOM hair"!!

And definitely, the details DO make all the difference in growing long, healthy, beautiful hair!

I wonder if we should acronymn that? VVM? Whatdya think? LOL
heidi w.

[Octopus]

I know that I hold a disagreeable viewpoint and unfavored viewpoint from most concerning henna. I do not recommend henna as it's claimed that it can block the uptake of conditioner and thus conditioner's effectiveness. I've known a few people who like it but in the end they have all ended up with damaged hair. I'm assisting such a person now. I feel very bad for them. For some it appears to work, and I do not know what they're doing different. Henna is not a subject that interests me, so I don't keep up with information regarding it.

Really, really do your homework before "trying" henna. One should not have to effectively cover their hair's damage with a color to prevent further damage. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

But I'm the odd man out. So carry on, and ignore me if that works best for you.

heidi w.

Hmm.. I keep reading in this forum that it works, that henna not only adds color but helps hair grow stronger, and worked for me also when I used to have really damaged hair from the sea and sun. If you are a pro and you have more experience I will follow your advice and take extra care. How about a nice warm oil treatment then? :) avocado oil for example. It helps a lot the damaged hair. Nourishes, regererates and it conditions the hair deeply.

[ktani]

I agree a satin or possibly silk pillowcase can help. I wear my hair down almost all of the time and it used to be very prone to splits and tangling.

The key for me was finding conditioning that works and does not weigh my hair down and in between that mineral oil/baby oil drops that preserve that and work so far almost as well (they do not add colour) lol, like catnip does. There is a catnip article in Articles.

I have no splits now and for a long time and very minimal breakage. It is not necessary to wear your hair up only to have healthy hair.

There is information on cosmetic mineral oil and what it can do for even damaged hair here, http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=86298, in my blog and elsewhere on the boards if you are interested. It is not what you may think. It may be worth your while to read up on it.

Do not despair. There is lots of help here and people willing to share ideas and more.

[bumblebums]

I agree that there are no quick fixes. I also believe handling is more important than products and salves (http://www.prismnet.com/~cortese/hair/index.html). If you leave your hair alone for a while and don't cut it, you should see some growth, provided you keep split ends under control. For that, get some good quality scissors and simply trim off the split hairs 1 inch above the split. This is known as "search and destroy" or S+D around here.

By the way, it sounds like you are cutting your hair quite often--perhaps more often than is necessary. If your hair stylist doesn't keep the tools in good shape, dull scissors could be causing more damage than they take off.

This said, some people have very different growth rates on different parts of their heads. Are you sure it really is damage and not just your hair growing slower on one side? It could also be a combination of the two.

[yummie]

my left part seems thinner than my right since ive been wearing it on that side for years so I think its just from mechanical, sun, styling damages etc.. So i switched my part and it looks better. Castor Oil has helped so has Co and less heat/chemicals.

[swearnsue]

If you are right-handed, you may have held the hair dryer closer to the right side of your head when you used it to dry your hair. If so, then it makes sense that your right side would have more damage. Give it a few more months and I bet your hair will grow out beautiful and healthy on both sides!

[Mesmerise]

I would agree with the others that it's possibly a combination of the side you sleep on, and possibly, as swearnsue suggested, that you may have held the hairdryer closer to your right side when you blow dried it!

Remember, heat damage is still damage and it won't "heal" over time. The only way the damage will go away is for it to grow out. Sad but true!

I have never tried a silk pillowcase as I honestly think it would annoy the heck out of me!! I sleep with my face on my pillow and silk is just... I dunno... yucky to me to sleep on!

Someone else suggested henna, and personally I am all for henna. I got my sister onto henna last year, and she commented that she hasn't had to trim her hair nearly as often since she started hennaing rather than chemically dyeing (her ends don't get as bad, apparently).

I also henna, but I do it for the colour :). I never used to trim more than twice a year anyway, and did it only when my ends got "straggly" which they will if I don't cut for months... sooo... it's hard for me to say that henna has "improved" my hair. However, I don't get a lot of splits, and my hair does have a lot of previous damage from hair dyeing and heat straightening, so the fact I have few splits could be testament to the henna.

Still, the ONLY reason I henna my hair is for the colour. That's it. If I wasn't going grey, I'd probably just aim for 100% virgin hair. So yeah, I wouldn't recommend it unless you're either keen for red hair, or your hair is dark enough that it's not going to have a significant impact on your hair's colour.