Do you get people who stare at you?

[cmdinoto]

I am walking in the mall the other day and I saw two women staring at my hair. I just smiled and continued to walk. I usually get positive comments about my hair but there are the occasionally few who stare. And people touch it without permission! I feel like a pregnant woman and strangers won't stop touching my belly. Can anyone relate to this?

[Jessibear2854]

I am walking in the mall the other day and I saw two women staring at my hair. I just smiled and continued to walk. I usually get positive comments about my hair but there are the occasionally few who stare. And people touch it without permission! I feel like a pregnant woman and strangers won't stop touching my belly. Can anyone relate to this?

Since I've started using henna - YES. My hair is very red and when I wear it down, people do stare. A lot of them comment, too. It's a little unnerving, so I try not to wear it down in public now.

[LittleOrca]

What is fun to me is hearing people talk about my hair and pretending I don't hear them. It is interesting to note that when they know I am listening they tend to speak softer, but when they think I can't hear them, they tend to talk louder. It's so silly.

[sfgirl]

When I don't wear makeup or darken my eyebrows, I get a lot of people asking me is my hair is natural... even when I have roots. o.o I guess because I'm really fair and my eyebrows are light? I get hit on a lot just because I'm a "blondie". I'm used to it.

[trolleypup]

Sure. People stare and comment. Generally positively around here. Nice one today, a woman commented positively on my bun, and wondered how I did it...faster than using words: pull the stick, let it fall loose, put it back up. "Ahh, so you need a lot of hair to do that!"

[Avital88]

yes can relate, even worse when i walk with my child, people are amazed by her hair and eyes. i always hear people behind me:omg did you see that childs eyes?
she is blessed with big and bright grey/green eyes..

[Becky9679]

Usually when people stare at me when I'm out and about it's for reasons other than my hair, but yesterday I did have a middle aged couple pointing and talking about my updo (I was wearing a pair of dutch braids with the ends curled up in a bun).

[lostchyld]

I get people who stare, but usually because I'm skipping and singing badly. I don't like to keep both feet on the ground.

My hair isn't long enough to draw a lot of attention, but I get some when I wear it down and curly, usually from people who haven't seen it that way before. I fielded a lot of perm questions when I embraced my outer curly. I still get a few, but not as many as I did then.

The nice thing about being seen and benignly crazy is that I don't get approached by a lot of people who try to touch without being invited. Stares are usually the worst I get.

[Iolanthe13]

It happens to me now and then. I have a rather flamboyant way of dressing sometimes, though, so it's kind of part of the deal. It's sort of a compliment, really.

My hair used to provoke all kinds of rude comments when it was hip length, though - people were constantly trying to guilt me into chopping it off for charity. It really pissed me off at the time, but I've learned to let things roll off my back more now.

[StellaKatherine]

yes can relate, even worse when i walk with my child, people are amazed by her hair and eyes. i always hear people behind me:omg did you see that childs eyes?
she is blessed with big and bright grey/green eyes..

Oh sounds like my sister's eyes! My sister has the biggest eyes i've ever seen in my life! They are realy green with very long and thick dark lashes, absolutly stunning eyes. Haha, one guy at the bar said to her " With those eyes you can ask for anything in the world and every guy will run to get it for you " :D

I don't know if people notice my hair as such, even when it was almoust a classical lenght... But my dentist did talk once about my hair and how long it is and when i am at the hairdresser the clients and workers always talk about my hair. But i somehow don't think my hair doesn't have that needed wow-factor for people to stare otherwise :D

[QMacrocarpa]

Nope, I'm invisible! :D

[jacqueline101]

I get stares and my hair isn't that long I think its just people who are nosy looking to see what I use on my hair.

[pes3108]

My boyfriend and I usually attract a lot of stares when we are out... but it is hardly ever for my hair. My DBF has almost hip length blonde/brown, thick natural dreads. They aren't common here at all, especially for Caucasians, so people tend to stare... A LOT! It's funny because we will be walking somewhere and if I'm just a few steps behind him, I will watch as he walks past people and their heads turn and their mouths kind of fall open. He's gotten used to it and I have to for the most part... but it still makes me giggle a little every time I see someone ogling his hair!

[Covet]

When my hair was longer, I got a few stares and indirect comments that people thought I couldn't hear. People literally pulled on my hair and asked me if it was real. Now that my hair is just below shoulder length, I don't get much hassle from people. My goal is roughly tbl so I know I know I'll have to put up with it again.

[arcane]

People used to touch my hair when it was longer, I really really did not like that so I typically wore my hair up and bunned so no one could see the length. Now my hair is short and purple so I get looks and comments. I should have been used to this from before as I had my hair pink/various other colours for a few years, but I always forget that it's not a "normal" colour. I can't imagine what it will be like when it grows long again.

[Bedhead]

People have always stared at my hair, so I'm used to it, and learnt to shut it out. But I have to say, the longer it is, the more obvious people seem to be about it, and then my friends comment on how people are looking at me.

And perhaps it's the aura I give off, but no one dares to touch my hair!

[lostchyld]

People have always stared at my hair, so I'm used to it, and learnt to shut it out. But I have to say, the longer it is, the more obvious people seem to be about it, and then my friends comment on how people are looking at me.

And perhaps it's the aura I give off, but no one dares to touch my hair!

lol, aren't friends helpful.

Friend: "Hey, LostChyld, those people are staring at you..."

Me: "Right, and I wasn't nervous about it until you had to go and say something..."

[Mayflower]

Sometimes yes, especially girls. When I'm going out and I wear it loose, guaranteed that someone will come up to me and stroke my hair asking how I got it that long, lol. It's because of the darkness and thickness I think, I never got that much attention when it was lighter and brushed straight.

[Bedhead]

lol, aren't friends helpful.

Friend: "Hey, LostChyld, those people are staring at you..."

Me: "Right, and I wasn't nervous about it until you had to go and say something..."

He he! Yes, very helpful...! I just shrug and not make a big deal about it, then they let it go too.

[Amber_Maiden]

I wear my hair up to avoid this actually.

[Phalaenopsis]

I get the most stares of little girls, especially when I have certain types of braids in my hair. Once a really small girl wanted to grab my hair, she was just tall enough to reach for it, but her mom told her she couldn't do that. I had no idea until I heard the mom call and my friend explained the situation.

[Diamond.Eyes]

It happens to me every day, at least when I go out. It does get annoying and I feel a little odd having people stare at me without saying anything. So I just usually give a half-hearted smile and look away. As for people touching my hair, that happens quite often as well. I feel very disgusted when strangers touch my hair. I've experienced quite a few odd instances because of my hair. For example: Three weeks ago, a creepy middle aged man who was trying to hit on me when I was standing in line at the grocery store, touched my hair and this resulted in me warning him of the mace I had in my purse. I appreciate when strangers compliment me, but I feel creeped out when strangers stare at me or touch me.

[lostchyld]

I get the most stares of little girls, especially when I have certain types of braids in my hair. Once a really small girl wanted to grab my hair, she was just tall enough to reach for it, but her mom told her she couldn't do that. I had no idea until I heard the mom call and my friend explained the situation.

You know, I'd probably hit whatever was pulling on my braid if I didn't know there was a kid there and then feel really bad if it was a kid. It's good the kid's mom had it together.

[Madora]

Once in a while, back when I was younger.

I was riding Muni once and was about to disembark when an elderly gent said to his wife (in a sort of stunned tone) "Look, her hair is in KNOTS!" And it was...braided knots.

Another time a girl was following me and it unnerved me, so I finally turned around and stared at HER. She apologized and said she was wondering how I had braided my hair as she'd never seen a 4 strand round braid before.

[jbn]

When I'm out and about with my DW we get stares and can sometimes hear them say "his hair is longer than hers". I'm much older than my DW and we hear a lot of "her dad has long hair" then we kiss and smile at them. I go to the gym 5 days a week and I'm the only longhair guy amoung a lot of short and shaved head guys, but no problems.

jbn

[Safira]

Yes, when I let my hair loose or braid it. People wants to touch my hair and stare it. I don´t mind that, long hair is not so common to see.

[longcurlygirl<3]

I always get stared at. Though you do not see much 3a.3b hip length curlies out there do you? :D haha I find it amusing but annoying when they come touching my hair.

[Beckstar]

I always get stared at. Though you do not see much 3a.3b hip length curlies out there do you? :D haha I find it amusing but annoying when they come touching my hair.

:) Mine is waist when down and nearly hip when pulled straight so I know what you mean. 3a/b hair is usually flatironed within and inch of its life! It's rare around here to see long naturally curly hair. It's usually the people with long hair have straight and they curl it to get beachy waves or loose curls. I normally wear my hair up because if not I'll end up with people petting my hair or running their hands through it.
One time it didn't bother me was when I was in the buffet line and I felt someone petting my hair. I turned around and it was a little girl about two years old. She was stroking my hair saying, "Pretty. Pretty." Her mother was so embarrassed and picked her up and said, "Yes, it is pretty." I smiled and said that it was ok. That was the ultimate compliment.

[cmdinoto]

Yea, hair is attached to the body and therefore should be considered apart of the whole body. If you touch my hair it's like touching my arm, I really don't see much of a difference.

On another note, I want to use Henna but am scared because it is permanent. Anybody use henna? Well, silly question of course the answer is yes so how do you feel about it?

[Beckstar]

Yea, hair is attached to the body and therefore should be considered apart of the whole body. If you touch my hair it's like touching my arm, I really don't see much of a difference.

On another note, I want to use Henna but am scared because it is permanent. Anybody use henna? Well, silly question of course the answer is yes so how do you feel about it?

I have been using henna for 3.5 years and I absolutely love it. It makes my hair very strong and shiny. My hair is an medium ashy brown so the henna really makes my hair a nice, rich reddish auburn. My greys are my 'highlights'. Lately I've been using henna and indigo so my greys are more carmel looking than red. I love henna and will continue to use it indefinitely.

[annamoonfairy]

I have long bright blonde hair, blue eyes and usually sport a tan and depending on my mood depends on the height of my heels : ) Some people love me and some people hate me because of my blonde hair but they love to stare hair up or down. Some take pictures and videos and some stop me and ask if I will take pictures with them. People are so funny sometimes. It doesn’t bother me except when I am eating dinner and get interrupted for a photo because that is just downright rude. I have included a picture of one of my extra shoe closets as not all of them will fit into my walkin. I have a bit of a shoe obsession as I have about 180 pairs ok it extends to clothes, designer purses, coats, umbrellas, perfume and hair toys as well. I guess I love pretty accessories : )

http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/8216/shoesee.jpg

[Sillage]

People comment on the stuff I wear in my bunned hair: flowers, kanzashi, buttons, hair sticks, beads, whatever. I work with dementia patients so they get a kick out of it. My hair isn't long enough to get comments when it's down :(

[Sheryl]

LOVE the shoes!! (You can never have too many shoes. ;))
People do look at my hair, but it's not yet long enough for stares (at BSL now). I usually wear it in a side braid over my shoulder.

I love my henna colour but if I had it to do again, I would go with Jamilla henna instead of Rajasthani/Yemen mix for an oranger colour and not use lemon juice. The lemon juice fried my ends! I still love the colour and so does my husband!

[Lipbalmbabe]

Since I've started using henna - YES. My hair is very red and when I wear it down, people do stare. A lot of them comment, too. It's a little unnerving, so I try not to wear it down in public now.

I get upset when people dont wear their hair down due to strangers. I just get angry at people who are judgemental. (not you the strangers)

[spidermom]

If I do, I don't notice it. I'm pretty oblivious to what is going on around me.

I used to be hypersensitive, and if I saw two people start talking as I approached, I would assume that they were talking about me. When I got over that, I got over noticing things.

[Sheryl]

I would never let someone else's reaction temper what I wear or do. I'm fiercely independant! and individual, but I'm used to that. I have always been an artist with arsy, off the wall, taste in things.

[Shepherdess]

I have had people stare at me before, and I get a lot of comments about my hair. I've also had people touch it a lot. I really don't mind though, as long as no one forcefully tries cutting my hair or pulls on it I'm okay :D

[bluebird77]

Oh no, I did this yesterday! I walked into a local shopping centre and saw this amazing (almost) knee length hair. It was naturally blond and OUT with braid waves. Where I live, waist length is common and hip length is no surprise (although they rarely look healthy) but this was the longest hair I have ever seen IRL. It almost stopped me in my tracks but then I composed myself and continued on to the shop I was heading for. When I got there, I had to wait in a queue and while I waited I just couldn't help turning back to check out that stunning hair. That was when I noticed the reactions of everyone else walking past, almost everyone noticed this womans beautiful hair and stared. I immediately felt bad for having done it too. However, I think she was aware of the looks and she really didn't seem to mind, just carried on talking to her friend and smiling a lot.

If she one day reads this, sorry to the lovely long haired lady at The Oasis. I apologise for staring but you have the longest and healthiest hair I have ever seen in real life.

Hopefully the next time I'm confronted with hair like that I'll manage to keep it together :o

[Tisiloves]

When I used to dye my undercut fun colours I used to get a lot of stares if my canopy moved and revealed it. I guess it's an 'I never knew that was under there' thing.

[Garnetgem]

Yes quite often and when they do they just gaze and don't look away even when they know that i have seen them,its as if my hair puts them in some sort of trance i mean they don't seem to blink and it can make me feel uncomfortable at times its as if they have never seen long hair before.

[jupiterinleo]

If it's not in a bun I'm pretty much guaranteed to get a comment on it, usually by someone I am interacting with directly, like a barista at the coffee shop or something. I don't get stares that I know of, unless it's by creepy old dudes who apparently think young women exist beyond normal social boundaries.

[lapis_lazuli]

If it's not up, definitely. It makes me feel embarrassed especially when they make comments :oops:. I hate attention like that.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Yes, these days, sometimes when I wear my hair loose (once in a blue moon) I get stares. I'm not sure if I like it. It feels a little unnerving. The worst time for me was when a man in a mobility scooter followed me up the street and into a shop and just sat there staring without a word, then I couldn't get past him to leave the store and had to ask him firmly to move so I could leave. It has kind of put me off wearing my hair down in public. Though I shouldn't let it stop me, I know.

[lapis_lazuli]

Yes, these days, sometimes when I wear my hair loose (once in a blue moon) I get stares. I'm not sure if I like it. It feels a little unnerving. The worst time for me was when a man in a mobility scooter followed me up the street and into a shop and just sat there staring without a word, then I couldn't get past him to leave the store and had to ask him firmly to move so I could leave. It has kind of put me off wearing my hair down in public. Though I shouldn't let it stop me, I know.

That is strange! :bigeyes: I'm glad you got out of there okay. What a creep...:hatchet:

[Sarahlabyrinth]

That is strange! :bigeyes: I'm glad you got out of there okay. What a creep...:hatchet:

It was pretty creepy.

[chen bao jun]

Yes, I always get stared at. There's not too much one can do in the street, except walk faster and not make eye contact if the person seems dangerous rather than just admiring.

in other situations, like when first meeting people, I have a bunch of stock responses to things they are likely to say that turn the attention away from me and onto them. Things that make them laugh and usually, stop being silly. For instance, my standard response to "You're so pretty/cute whatever" is to laugh and say, "Why, thank you, Flattery will get you EVERYWHERE." Or to say really exagerratedly, "you are so SWEET. You just made MY day." and turn the subject quickly to something else. usually I start asking about them. People really would always rather talk about themselves than about you for too long and then the conversation is more interesting.

Maybe you all could think of something to say that takes the focus off you when you take down your hair, and onto the other person. It doesn't have to be particularly clever, just something to get over the awkwardness of the moment.

so far as creepy men who grab at you,the ones you know and can't avoid, I wish I had the answer for that one, other than avoid being close enough to be grabbed or touched OR don't be afraid to make a scene when they do. I am having a problem with that right now, there is this guy at church, he's 85 if he's a day and everybody is like, oh, what a nice old man and I can't figure how to get him to stop 'accidentally' bumping into, brushing against, grabbing my chest whenever I'm close enough for him to manage it. with his wife always there, too, and he's walking around on a stick and has health problems, you would think he would be past being such a complete creep. It's getting to the point where I think I am going to tell my husband, which is a solution I usually avoid. My husband is quite mild mannered but things escalate so quickly when you get a man defending you, I'd usually rather handle it myself.

And as for people who touch your hair without asking, I haven't figured that one out either, I'm a curly which aggravates the problem, people apparently think that curls are jsut there for them to tug at, they never get that there is a person attached. It' s like you are a puppy or a kitten or a baby, perpetually. I have the problem that I'm short and have a soft voice and even when I say things like, "Stop, I don't like that' in my best don't-mess-with-me voice, people tend to not take me seriously. Hopefully one day I will master being firm and authoritative sounding. But being already almost 59 years old, its not looking too good at this point. I'm apparently going to be one of those little old ladies that everybody STILL treats like child. Grrr.

[lunalocks]

It is the stares without comment that slightly bother me. I don't know what they are thinking. A couple of time in the past month I have had to redo my bun in a semi public place and I have seen eyes get very wide and no words. Are they amazed? Or disgusted? Wish I knew.

[DeadlyUnicorn]

In southern California, and now Montana.. I hardly get any compliments on my hair. Any stares are normally from creepy men and that has happened since I was very young so it isn't my hair... Ew. More likely I'll get complimented on my nail art :p I soo wish someone would come up to me and talk to me about my hair though. Even better if it were a lhc member, but considering where I live now that seems unlikely :laugh:

[Loveisaverb]

Without the stares how else would be get our long hair sightings thread? ;)

[PristineAllure]

Yes. Pretty much whenever I where my hair down, people stare at it constantly. A lot of people just STARE. Blatant and obvious unwavering stares. And many have conversations about my hair. Some people whisper among themselves, other people argue openly about whether or I'm wearing extensions. I think it has to do with the fact that it's very long, but mostly because it's very very very thick. Some people are bold enough to come up to me and ask me if it's "all mine" Which to be honest, I'm not sure to feel insulted or flattered. On the one hand I guess it's nice that they think my hair is so beautiful that it is too good to be true, but on the other hand, I find it quite insulting for some reason. I'm not sure why, but I just think it's rude to come up to a stranger and ask them if they are wearing extensions. I know I should feel flattered, but it draws so much attention, because as you all know..Being a LH is out of the norm. I love how my hair looks when I wear it down, and I LOVE wearing it down. But sadly, I often wear it up when I'm going to the mall or something like that. Simply because I do not want the stares, or the questions, or to hear people debating about whether or not I'm wearing extensions. But I believe that in 2016 I'm just going to start doing what pleases me and what makes me happy. And if there are any other women like me on this board who refrain from wearing their hair down in certain situations because of the reactions of others, I hope that you can also just stop caring and do what makes you happy.

[PristineAllure]

*wear

(For some reason I can't go back and edit)

[Garnetgem]

*Wear post by PristineAlure (for some reason i cant go back and edit).

yes i figured that out :) reason you cant edit is because your under 25 points once there then you will be able to edit future posts.

[PristineAllure]

Ahhhh! Thanks, I had no idea.

[MandyBeth]

Sure, but since I refuse to have socially normal hair, I'm asking for it. Add in my husband has very long hair and beard, my boys have varying amounts of longer hair, my lighter haired daughter has half blue hair. My youngest wins however. She's got a massive amount of hair, to the point even at metal concerts were the rest of us are normal, Minion will attract attention. Plus I don't bother tying her hair back, it hurts more when she whips it around then.

[Angela_Rose]

I get stared at occasionally, but it's usually due to one of three things:
My attire (I wear a 3pc suit 6 days a week for work, and I am clearly a girl in boy clothing).
My calf length hair.
Or my rather large bosom.

I've given up caring about staring.

[Garnetgem]

I get stared at occasionally, but it's usually due to one of three things:
My attire (I wear a 3pc suit 6 days a week for work, and I am clearly a girl in boy clothing).
My calf length hair.
Or my rather large bosom.

I've given up caring about staring.

Lol given up on caring yeah i think i have gotten to that stage now too! by the way your hair is amazing!

[Angela_Rose]

Lol given up on caring yeah i think i have gotten to that stage now too! by the way your hair is amazing!

Thank you!
Giving up on caring about it has made my life a lot easier.

[MandyBeth]

Yup, go ahead and stare. I'm like Angela - not socially normal attire, hair or boobs. I can't be bothered to care. If I'm overly concerned, I could pretend to fit in. But why bother.

Touching however. No. Granted, I have extreme RBF so people don't try to bug me. But my girls who normally wear their hair up - people try to touch all the time. In what world is it remotely acceptable to touch a child you don't know? I will go all evil on you if my girls don't snap first. God forbid you try it in front of DH who makes me look like a pampered kitten then.

[Agnes Hannah]

Even as a long hair myself, if I see someone with gorgeous hair, I just have to look, I can't help it. It's purely aesthetical reasons as I adore long hair. Sometimes I will approach, depending on the vibes given out by the other person, you sometimes know if someone would mind! However, I have always had positive responses,probably because of having long hair too, and people know that I am genuine when I talk about their hair. I don't touch however, unless I ask first, but normally I don't. The only time I did ask was with a younger lady than myself who had 4c very curly hair, it went into the most gorgeous corkscrew curls. We talked hair for a short time and that was it.

My own hair gets attention when I wear a hairstick normally, some are amazed at how quickly I can put it up. I have had negative comments like "your hair is too fine to be long, it wants to be short!" Like really!!!

[lapis_lazuli]

I admire you guys. When people stare at me, I feel embarrassed and exposed. But you're right- there's really no point to caring what other people think. If I'm happy with myself, why should I be bothered? :)

[lapis_lazuli]

Even as a long hair myself, if I see someone with gorgeous hair, I just have to look, I can't help it. It's purely aesthetical reasons as I adore long hair. Sometimes I will approach, depending on the vibes given out by the other person, you sometimes know if someone would mind! However, I have always had positive responses,probably because of having long hair too, and people know that I am genuine when I talk about their hair. I don't touch however, unless I ask first, but normally I don't. The only time I did ask was with a younger lady than myself who had 4c very curly hair, it went into the most gorgeous corkscrew curls. We talked hair for a short time and that was it.

My own hair gets attention when I wear a hairstick normally, some are amazed at how quickly I can put it up. I have had negative comments like "your hair is too fine to be long, it wants to be short!" Like really!!!

I've had people approach me too and I don't mind but my social anxiety usually takes over and I don't know what to say.
And the whole "your hair is too fine to be long" thing is :bs: You have lovely hair, Agnes Hannah :flower:

[Agnes Hannah]

I've had people approach me too and I don't mind but my social anxiety usually takes over and I don't know what to say.
And the whole "your hair is too fine to be long" thing is :bs: You have lovely hair, Agnes Hannah :flower:

Thank you lapis_lazuli, your hair is lovely too! I am not good in social situations because I am quite shy and I have hearing difficulties so find it difficult in large groups to hear what people are saying so zone out! When I see someone with beautiful hair though, my enthusiasm takes over and I can't help myself:blossom:

[Angela_Rose]

Agnes Hannah, those people are full of bologna. You rock that fine hair, lady!

[lapis_lazuli]

Thank you lapis_lazuli, your hair is lovely too! I am not good in social situations because I am quite shy and I have hearing difficulties so find it difficult in large groups to hear what people are saying so zone out! When I see someone with beautiful hair though, my enthusiasm takes over and I can't help myself:blossom:

I am pretty shy myself and also get super excited when I spot another longhair. However, usually I'm too timid to actually approach and compliment though :blushing: I'm forced to admire from afar.

[trolleypup]

I admire you guys. When people stare at me, I feel embarrassed and exposed. But you're right- there's really no point to caring what other people think. If I'm happy with myself, why should I be bothered? :)

I've had people approach me too and I don't mind but my social anxiety usually takes over and I don't know what to say.



I am not good in social situations because I am quite shy and I have hearing difficulties so find it difficult in large groups to hear what people are saying so I zone out! When I see someone with beautiful hair though, my enthusiasm takes over and I can't help myself:blossom:
What I figured out was having a few stock phrases, both to say, and to respond with. That way I don't have to think something up on the spot. And making drive-by comments so I am not possibly getting myself into a conversation (scary).

I've long past gotten away from giving a damn what people think or say about me. My hair is up or down as inclination or conditions warrant. Of course people stare, but less in San Francisco than in places where diversity is less valued. People almost always ask before touching my hair...yet another benefit of male privilege.