Strangers smelling your hair?

[LiveYourDreams]

I was curious to know if anyone here has had problems with complete strangers coming up to you and smelling your hair? I was talking with a friend yesterday (she has waist length hair)who gets freaked out when a stranger touches her hair, but she got really angry when someone was behind her in line and was actually smelling her hair. She turned around and asked them "what do you think you're doing" and to "back off", and then the person got mad at her for being angry with him. I've had this happen to me when I had long hair, but mostly with people that I know. Has it happened to any of you? What did you do or say to the person?

[Celtic Morla]

The giy was outof line and she was being harassed because I doubt he would smell a guys long hair in th esame manner! I would be angry too, and I would probably not be so nice!

[Tisiloves]

The guy behind me on the bus once smelled my hair, but I had just used the Timotei Cherry Condtioner, and that stuff smells pretty strong.

[Coan-Teen]

I would have been a lot more aggressive than she was. That is an invasion of her space and possibly a sexual action. He was way out of line and had no right to be upset with her. Strangers do not have a right to your personal space.

[littleizz]

:suspect: Honestly, I wouldn't like touching OR smelling, but I'd be much more weirded out by a stranger smelling my hair behind me than by someone coming up and touching it as they complimented me on it. Did he like, have his nose buried in it?! I guess it's all in their mannerisms... even staring can be creepy... yeesh...

[heidi w.]

It's quite possible this has happened. I don't ever recall it though. I've had every kind of approach. Nowadays I simply don't wear my hair down, and am hardly ever approached. My hair in a bun in no way reveals how much hair I have nor how long it is.

heidi w.

[NativeGirl]

I've had a woman grab my hair and rub it in her face at the store.:run:
I ended up whipping around real quick and elbowed her in the nose.
I'm not fond of people invading my personal space, especially to touch/smell my hair.
Now, I'm even like this with family, except my Itchki (Mom).
My cousin (who has a history of molesting family and strangers hair in public) once grabbed my hair out in public, and I grabbed her boob. I explained that her grabbing my hair was the equivalent of me grabbing her boob, and she's never done it again - to anyone. I would never do that to a complete stranger. I usually give them dirty looks. I'm not embarrassing them out loud but they get the hint.

[littleizz]

My cousin (who has a history of molesting family and strangers hair in public) once grabbed my hair out in public, and I grabbed her boob. I explained that her grabbing my hair was the equivalent of me grabbing her boob, and she's never done it again - to anyone. I would never do that to a complete stranger. I usually give them dirty looks. I'm not embarrassing them out loud but they get the hint.:rollin: Totally something I'd do to my cousin

[Ligeia_13]

Ew. Smelling people is incredibly personal, isn't it?

[LiveYourDreams]

I would have been a lot more aggressive than she was. That is an invasion of her space and possibly a sexual action. He was way out of line and had no right to be upset with her. Strangers do not have a right to your personal space.
I agree. I told her that she should have been more aggressive towards him, so that maybe he wouldn't do that again to anyone! She's more of a timid person and doesn't like confrontation, but im shocked she wasn't more bold about it.


:suspect: Honestly, I wouldn't like touching OR smelling, but I'd be much more weirded out by a stranger smelling my hair behind me than by someone coming up and touching it as they complimented me on it. Did he like, have his nose buried in it?! I guess it's all in their mannerisms... even staring can be creepy... yeesh...
He didn't have it buried in it, but he grabbed the ends of her hair and put them up to his nose. She lives in Alaska and was wearing a heavy coat, so she didn't feel him grab her hair and didn't know he was doing it until she turned around.


It's quite possible this has happened. I don't ever recall it though. I've had every kind of approach. Nowadays I simply don't wear my hair down, and am hardly ever approached. My hair in a bun in no way reveals how much hair I have nor how long it is.

heidi w.
That's really smart! I'll definately let her know what you do. :)


I've had a woman grab my hair and rub it in her face at the store.:run:
I ended up whipping around real quick and elbowed her in the nose.
I'm not fond of people invading my personal space, especially to touch/smell my hair.
Now, I'm even like this with family, except my Itchki (Mom).
My cousin (who has a history of molesting family and strangers hair in public) once grabbed my hair out in public, and I grabbed her boob. I explained that her grabbing my hair was the equivalent of me grabbing her boob, and she's never done it again - to anyone. I would never do that to a complete stranger. I usually give them dirty looks. I'm not embarrassing them out loud but they get the hint.
That's really gross that a stranger would do that! Maybe after what you did she won't do that ever again. I'm glad your cousin understands now how personal it is. I guess it sometimes takes something a little more extreme to get the point across.

[Amber_Maiden]

I cut my hair from hip to chin because of something like this. I was on the metro one day- it was packed. I felt tugging on my hair but couldn't turn around. I figured it was my hair caught on my backpack. When I did finally get to turn around a man was holding and smelling my hair, and he didn't stop when I saw him. Instead he grinned at me. I cut it that day from him to chin.

I now wear my hair up when I am out. That's how I deal with it.

[maborosi]

I'd be totally freaked out. I've had friends hug me and catch a whiff of my hair, but that's a totally different stiry that a random person coming up to someone and sniffing their hair. That's completely inapprpriate and crosses so many boundaries. You don't just go up to someone and feel them, you know?

~maborosi~

[LiveYourDreams]

Ew. Smelling people is incredibly personal, isn't it?
I definately think so! Unless you're wearing perfum and as someone walks by they compliment the way you smell. :)

[SwordWomanRiona]

It has never happened to me, but I would be totally freaked out and furious at the creep who tried it! That's invading my personal space, and the person in question would be totally out of line! I would probably snap at him to back off angrily.
Touching and/or smelling one's hair is something incredibly personal and intimate, imo, the ones who think that they can go doing that to strangers are rude creeps *growl*. What are those people thinking? I wouldn't smell a friend's hair without their permission, even!

[LiveYourDreams]

I cut my hair from hip to chin because of something like this. I was on the metro one day- it was packed. I felt tugging on my hair but couldn't turn around. I figured it was my hair caught on my backpack. When I did finally get to turn around a man was holding and smelling my hair, and he didn't stop when I saw him. Instead he grinned at me. I cut it that day from him to chin.

I now wear my hair up when I am out. That's how I deal with it.
I'm so sorry that happened!! :( That man is seriously messed up. I'm really glad you found a way to have long hair without having people mess with it. Now when my hair gets longer I definately don't think i'll ever leave it down when I go out.

[Darkessa]

If someone simply caught a whiff of my hair, then complimented me on it... That would be more flattering.
BUT
If someone specifically leaned towards my head and/or grabbed my hair just so they could smell me... I would probably smack the crap out of them. Not only is that creepy as all hell... But its an invasion of personal space.

For me its the same concept as being pregnant almost. When I am pregnant, anyone I don't know who tries to touch me... Is going to get a nice rabid dog bark to the face. Either that or I am simply going to start touching their face gently and creepily.
Personal space is HUGE for me... Strangers... Keep your fingers to yourself or you will lose them.

[SwordWomanRiona]

I cut my hair from hip to chin because of something like this. I was on the metro one day- it was packed. I felt tugging on my hair but couldn't turn around. I figured it was my hair caught on my backpack. When I did finally get to turn around a man was holding and smelling my hair, and he didn't stop when I saw him. Instead he grinned at me. I cut it that day from him to chin.

I now wear my hair up when I am out. That's how I deal with it.

:( It's so sad that you were forced to do that! Some people are so out of order!
I refuse to feel forced to wear my hair up when out all the time because of some creeps, though. Fortunately, I haven't encountered many of those, but my official rule for now is "Someone trespasses on me, hair-wise, someone gets attacked by an enraged Sword-woman." The theoretical rule, at least...I hate to be forced to hide my hair because of some potential creeps!! I won't :mad:

[SwordWomanRiona]

I would have been a lot more aggressive than she was. That is an invasion of her space and possibly a sexual action. He was way out of line and had no right to be upset with her. Strangers do not have a right to your personal space.

Exactly. If I had been in her place, he would have gotten a lot of reasons to be really upset if he dared to feel insulted! I hate people who think they can have free access to you.

[Mommyof4]

I live in the South of the US where most people are alot more comfortable with strangers invading their space and asking random questions..(lol, it's true)

I've had my hair smelled alot when I was making my own conditioner using sweet almond extract... But every time, it was normal-ish and they would say, oh, your hair is so pretty, is this your natural blonde? wow! what shampoo do you use? and then would kinda smell it, but not creepily.. I think it really depends on the situation and how someone is acting.. Most people probably think if you have this gorgeous, long hair that you would be complimented by people being drawn to it..

My impression of people who just reach out and grab hair is that they may never have a chance to see hair like that again, and just can't believe how long or beautiful it is.. I'm sure there are exceptions, but I wouldn't label everyone that grabs hair or asks to smell it as "weird"... People do things alot of times and then later think "oh man, that must have been creepy.. why did I not think before I did/said that?"

[Mommyof4]

I live in the South of the US where most people are alot more comfortable with strangers invading their space and asking random questions..(lol, it's true)

I've had my hair smelled alot when I was making my own conditioner using sweet almond extract... But every time, it was normal-ish and they would say, oh, your hair is so pretty, is this your natural blonde? wow! what shampoo do you use? and then would kinda smell it, but not creepily.. I think it really depends on the situation and how someone is acting.. Most people probably think if you have this gorgeous, long hair that you would be complimented by people being drawn to it..

My impression of people who just reach out and grab hair is that they may never have a chance to see hair like that again, and just can't believe how long or beautiful it is.. I'm sure there are exceptions, but I wouldn't label everyone that grabs hair or asks to smell it as "weird"... People do things alot of times and then later think "oh man, that must have been creepy.. why did I not think before I did/said that?"

[LiveYourDreams]

It has never happened to me, but I would be totally freaked out and furious at the creep who tried it! That's invading my personal space, and the person in question would be totally out of line! I would probably snap at him to back off angrily.
Touching and/or smelling one's hair is something incredibly personal and intimate, imo, the ones who think that they can go doing that to strangers are rude creeps *growl*. What are those people thinking? I wouldn't smell a friend's hair without their permission, even!
I completely agree with you! I wouldn't feel comfortable with my closest friend smelling my hair even if she asked permission. I know some people don't feel like that at all, but to me it's just really weird to smell someone's hair.

[Mommyof4]

sorry for the double post :( My netbook does this alot..

[Darkessa]

My impression of people who just reach out and grab hair is that they may never have a chance to see hair like that again, and just can't believe how long or beautiful it is.. I'm sure there are exceptions, but I wouldn't label everyone that grabs hair or asks to smell it as "weird"... People do things alot of times and then later think "oh man, that must have been creepy.. why did I not think before I did/said that?"
It honestly depends on the way they go about it.
If someone actually asked politely if they could examine/smell my hair, I would be more inclined to allow them to... Plus I wouldn't necessarily think of them as creepy.
But if someone simply just went for it without any kind of consideration or warning... That is just not okay in my book.

[Covet]

That is so creepy. I usually get people touching my hair or commenting on it indirectly and really loudly but I can't say I've ever noticed anyone smelling it.

[Tota]

My little sister (20 yrs old actually) has tbl hair and she wears it loose all the time. A while ago she was dancing with her friends at a club and some random guy came behind her, took her hair in his hands and started sniffing. She wouldn't even know but her friend saw it and told her to look behind her. When she did, that guy didn't stop and she had to pull her hair out of his hands.

And just last week she was at the local post office and an old man behind her was standing so close to her that she could feel his breath on her neck. She used her elbows to free herself and then he said to the post lady: Young people nowadays are so rude!, looking at my sister.

People are disgusting. I'm afraid she will cut her hair soon if this continues to happen :(

[Viola88]

Man, this thread gives me the heebie geebies. Time to start making more hair toys to keep my hair up!

[Grillz]

I just can't imagine going up to a complete stranger and touching or sniffing their hair. People!

If I caught a whiff of someone's (nice-smelling) hair in passing or from a not-so-invasive distance, I would probably tell them that their hair smells good and hope they don't think I'm a creeper, but to actually reach out and grab it.. eek!

[Grillz]

Whoops! Double post.

[jennescence]

I had it happen to me when i used to use vanilla scented shampoo and conditioner. I didnt mind too much tho because im a freak and i like it when humans interact and touch each other. Not in a perverted way i just like human touch.

[Dragon Faery]

When I was about 8 there was a boy in my gymnastics class who ALWAYS messed with my hair in line. I could never get him to stop. It got so bad I actually begged my mom to let me quit the class and said she could take the cost out of my (very small) allowance. She made me finish out the class (I don't think she understood what was going on). I loved the sport, but that put me off it for years, until I was really too old to continue. :(

On the other hand, there is a very sweet lady my parents know, who is a refugee from Nepal. She now owns a Nepalese restaurant here in the States, and last time my family went there she came out to talk to us. She gave everyone hello hugs, and stood behind me for a long time, stroking my hair and talking to my parents, who were facing me across the table. After awhile she said how nice my hair smelled and that she didn't want to leave. In this instance, I was flattered, not offended.

I guess for me the difference is (a) whether I know (and like) the person in question, (b) the age and GENDER of the person, (c) their cultural background (Nepalese older woman = complete opposite of bratty American boy), (d) their reasons for messing with my hair. The boy was either a brat or a predator, maybe a bit of both. The woman is a family friend, very loving, and almost like an aunt. She would have a hard time offending anyone.

So yes. If you're a woman and you know and love me, and won't sneak up behind me with scissors, you can touch my hair. Smell away; I don't care. But if you are a man or boy, or if you tend to play pranks on people, or if you're giving of a creepy vibe, get the hell away from me or I'll get my 300-lb husband to flatten you in the parking lot.

[LiveYourDreams]

I live in the South of the US where most people are alot more comfortable with strangers invading their space and asking random questions..(lol, it's true)

I've had my hair smelled alot when I was making my own conditioner using sweet almond extract... But every time, it was normal-ish and they would say, oh, your hair is so pretty, is this your natural blonde? wow! what shampoo do you use? and then would kinda smell it, but not creepily.. I think it really depends on the situation and how someone is acting.. Most people probably think if you have this gorgeous, long hair that you would be complimented by people being drawn to it..

My impression of people who just reach out and grab hair is that they may never have a chance to see hair like that again, and just can't believe how long or beautiful it is.. I'm sure there are exceptions, but I wouldn't label everyone that grabs hair or asks to smell it as "weird"... People do things alot of times and then later think "oh man, that must have been creepy.. why did I not think before I did/said that?"
I'm from Texas and know exactly what you mean! People here are very relaxed about personal space. And the random questions... haha so true! :)

[littleizz]

I had it happen to me when i used to use vanilla scented shampoo and conditioner. I didnt mind too much tho because im a freak and i like it when humans interact and touch each other. Not in a perverted way i just like human touch.That's not freaky, I agree. As long as the people aren't being perverted, they're not being rude or obnoxious, they ask permission (this doesn't have to be explicit, either, if the two of you are already engaged in conversation I think you can give permission with body language and eye contact) and their hands are clean, I'd be flattered :)

[jeanniet]

I could see something along the lines of sniffing *the air* and saying appreciatively, "Wow, your hair smells so nice--what do you use on it?" I wouldn't find that creepy. But actually touching nose to hair? No, no, NO! I don't want your personal body part touching me without permission. :mad:

[LiveYourDreams]

My little sister (20 yrs old actually) has tbl hair and she wears it loose all the time. A while ago she was dancing with her friends at a club and some random guy came behind her, took her hair in his hands and started sniffing. She wouldn't even know but her friend saw it and told her to look behind her. When she did, that guy didn't stop and she had to pull her hair out of his hands.

And just last week she was at the local post office and an old man behind her was standing so close to her that she could feel his breath on her neck. She used her elbows to free herself and then he said to the post lady: Young people nowadays are so rude!, looking at my sister.

People are disgusting. I'm afraid she will cut her hair soon if this continues to happen :(
That is super creepy!! How dare that man say that when he was so close that it's rude. I'm sorry that happened to her, and hopefully she won't cut it!


Man, this thread gives me the heebie geebies. Time to start making more hair toys to keep my hair up!
Wow, the braid in your picture is lovely! As well as the color of your hair! :)


When I was about 8 there was a boy in my gymnastics class who ALWAYS messed with my hair in line. I could never get him to stop. It got so bad I actually begged my mom to let me quit the class and said she could take the cost out of my (very small) allowance. She made me finish out the class (I don't think she understood what was going on). I loved the sport, but that put me off it for years, until I was really too old to continue. :(

On the other hand, there is a very sweet lady my parents know, who is a refugee from Nepal. She now owns a Nepalese restaurant here in the States, and last time my family went there she came out to talk to us. She gave everyone hello hugs, and stood behind me for a long time, stroking my hair and talking to my parents, who were facing me across the table. After awhile she said how nice my hair smelled and that she didn't want to leave. In this instance, I was flattered, not offended.

I guess for me the difference is (a) whether I know (and like) the person in question, (b) the age and GENDER of the person, (c) their cultural background (Nepalese older woman = complete opposite of bratty American boy), (d) their reasons for messing with my hair. The boy was either a brat or a predator, maybe a bit of both. The woman is a family friend, very loving, and almost like an aunt. She would have a hard time offending anyone.

So yes. If you're a woman and you know and love me, and won't sneak up behind me with scissors, you can touch my hair. Smell away; I don't care. But if you are a man or boy, or if you tend to play pranks on people, or if you're giving of a creepy vibe, get the hell away from me or I'll get my 300-lb husband to flatten you in the parking lot.
Haha that last part is funny! :) Definately agree with you on the second paragraph! It all just depends on the person and situation. I'm sorry you had a hard time with that boy when you were younger! That's too bad you had to quit when you loved it so much. :(

[jeanniet]

A long time ago, when I was a teenager and we were living in Rio, my mom belonged to a bridge club and during vacation I'd sometimes join in (I love bridge, but I'm not that good at it). All the club members were middle-aged to elderly American ladies. I remember one time one of the ladies stood behind me to help me with my bidding, and she was talking and at the same time stroking my hair in this very gentle, sweet, motherly way. I loved it, and I'll never forget it. My own mother, while she has many good qualities, has never been very demonstrative, and it was so wonderful for my heart to have this sweet lady do this for me. So intention does have something to do with it.

[LiveYourDreams]

As long as the people aren't being perverted, they're not being rude or obnoxious, they ask permission (this doesn't have to be explicit, either, if the two of you are already engaged in conversation I think you can give permission with body language and eye contact) and their hands are clean, I'd be flattered :)
Exactly! :)

[Malibu Barbie]

Yes, this has happened to me. I turned around and looked at him. He let go of my hair and said, "Sorry". I just turned back around.

[teal]

Eugh. I feel like I need a shower after reading some of these stories. Now I'm doubly glad I wear my hair up 99% of the time!

[Dragon Faery]

Haha that last part is funny! :) Definately agree with you on the second paragraph! It all just depends on the person and situation. I'm sorry you had a hard time with that boy when you were younger! That's too bad you had to quit when you loved it so much. :(

Thanks! Yes, it totally depends. And thank you for the sympathy. :)


A long time ago, when I was a teenager and we were living in Rio, my mom belonged to a bridge club and during vacation I'd sometimes join in (I love bridge, but I'm not that good at it). All the club members were middle-aged to elderly American ladies. I remember one time one of the ladies stood behind me to help me with my bidding, and she was talking and at the same time stroking my hair in this very gentle, sweet, motherly way. I loved it, and I'll never forget it. My own mother, while she has many good qualities, has never been very demonstrative, and it was so wonderful for my heart to have this sweet lady do this for me. So intention does have something to do with it.

I agree. Intention has everything to do with it, at least for me. That woman sounds lovely. :)

Not exactly smelling, but that reminds me of a woman (a mother of a classmate) who traveled as part of the same group as me when I was about 9 or 10. I didn't have my mother along to do my hair, and her daughters never wanted her to touch their hair. So every morning she did my hair in these lovely braids. I felt so pretty and special, and she had so much fun doing it. I've never forgotten.

[misspurdy06]

I always have a serious don't mess with me look on my face when I'm out in public.

I do this because I'm tired of people thinking I'm stupid or weak. (it used to happen a lot)

So no one approaches me or my hair.

[gretchen_hair]

Although it does sound creepy, it could have been innocent. I have been in line behind someone and noticed that they had a nice fragrance, be it their shampoo/conditioner, perfume, body spray, etc. It is hard not to notice a good smell and not enjoy it when you're in line, bored, waiting your turn.

I have often caught a whiff of someone and complimented them on their perfume, etc. I have even noticed that it was the persons hair (maybe I noticed the smell when they moved their head or turned) and really, it is an involuntary action, I just sniff the air. (I would never get closer and whiff anyone, but if we're in close quarters and I am 2 feet away it could appear that I was closing in for the whiff) Every time we're in WalMart and they are making bread in Subway, it just overloads my senses and I am walking on a cloud! :D I can't help myself, I stop, lift my head up and inhale that lovely aroma. (I sound like a dog!)

I have also noticed bad smells (heavy perfume, cigarette smoke, sweat and body odor or even farts) and of course I would never ever say to someone else....*you stunk dude/ma'am* but, I have a nose, I am in close proximity to others in the store, I cannot help but smell. I am breathing, I have senses. I have said to people, *ohhhh that perfume/cologne/shampoo smells so good*

No one ever acted freaked out about it and I never ran around chasing anyone sniffing them, and I am not a weirdo who intentionally sniffs people. But I do notice, actually, my brain notices it and sometimes I vocalize it. But there is a way to notice odors normally and not be weird and get closer to get a better whiff. :)

It could have been innocent, maybe the guy wasn't doing anything wrong. :shrug:

ETA: I just recalled that there have been times friends have told me, *your hair smells so good* and I didn't even notice that it still had a strong fragrance. We weren't REAL close, just sitting at a table having a beer and talking. I think the shampoo and conditioners we use have a lingering aroma that we tend to stop noticing but may be odoriferous to others around us and they simply notice and like the smell.

[Lipbalmbabe]

The thought makes me sick, just you never know where they were...ughh I'm shuddering just thinking about it. :p

[spidermom]

I don't think it's ever happened. I once asked my husband to smell my hair (because I thought it smelled good), and he drew back and said "why?"

[FrozenBritannia]

I don't think it's ever happened. I once asked my husband to smell my hair (because I thought it smelled good), and he drew back and said "why?"

LMAO!!!

My hubby has this same reaction!! Truthfully so do I. I always wonder what someone has done to it that they need me to smell it. Lol

[Sillage]

and then the person got mad at her for being angry with him.

Before I even got to this part I knew it had to be a man.

This kind of harassment makes me sick. I literally feel ill. I wish every man who feels entitled to touch women's bodies would die in a grease fire.

[Synthemesc]

I'm surprised at how often this seems to happen. Never had it happen to me or anyone I know. It's just downright creepy, anyone put their hands on me or my hair they probably wouldn't be getting it back.

[annamoonfairy]

I have had people get close to me when in a crowd when I only had one person with me and it was clear they were smelling my hair but they did not touch me. I do get many people take pictures or pull out their cells and take video. I find it helpful not to make eye contact when in uncontrolled situations.

[jacqueline101]

I had a woman smell my hair and ask what I use in it.

[Kat]

OMG, creepy. Thank heaven I've never had anyone do this to me (that I know of). I've had coworkers, friends, church members, etc. grab my hair in a playful way, but I'm fine with that because I KNOW them. Total strangers?? And SMELLING my hair??? EW EW EW just at the thought of it.

I'm so glad I've rarely had people even ask to touch my hair. Creepiest though was once when I was standing outside a store waiting for my mom to bring the car around so we could load a big cart of groceries... this guy approached me and asked to heft my braid and told me he did hair photography or something like that, gave me his number (which I promptly lost, of course). Of course, my guess is he was probably a hair ******ist (esp. since he also told me that when people model for him, they get a head massage out of the deal and I think there was something else I've forgotten). The creepy part of it, for me, wasn't so much that he talked about it to a total stranger... it's that even now, at almost 30, I look like I'm still in high school and not even old enough to vote. Back then (i think I was in college at the time), I probably looked like I was, like, 13 or something. EW EW EW OMG EW. Talk about a total creeper.



LMAO!!!

My hubby has this same reaction!! Truthfully so do I. I always wonder what someone has done to it that they need me to smell it. Lol

LOL, that's 'cause it's a guy thing. They're well aware that if their friend said "dude, smell this" that it would NOT be a good idea to do so, lol. So they're understandably wary of such requests. HAHAHA.

[FrozenBritannia]

[QUOTE=Kat;2012447



LOL, that's 'cause it's a guy thing. They're well aware that if their friend said "dude, smell this" that it would NOT be a good idea to do so, lol. So they're understandably wary of such requests. HAHAHA.[/QUOTE]

Well that explains him, but not me, I'm female! Lol! maybe I just hung out with the guys too much in Highschool, lol!

[sumidha]

D: D:

That's horrible, I've never had anything like that happen to me before.

I am pretty non-confrontational, so I would probably just shoot them an evil look, or be like, "What are you doing?!"

[DreadfulWoman]

Ew, so weird. I don't know why, but somehow it's totally creepier than someone randomly touching your hair.

I've had it happen once. This is when I had dreads, and I happened to be wearing them down, and this guy came up to me and starting asking the usual questions, about how I got my hair to do that, what I washed them with and so on. He seemed nice and genuinely curious, and I was feeling patient, so we talked for a minute and then he asked if he could touch one. I said sure. So he picks up the end of one of my dreads and without a moment's hesitation he sticks it under his nose and sniffs. And I said OMG, did you just sniff my hair?!? and we part ways.

So the really creepy part was that he showed up again the next day (this was at my work) and asked me out. I can't remember exactly what I said to him, but I think I made a bit of a scene, and he ran off very quickly and I never saw him again.

It was especially weird to have it happen with dreadlocks because I never used a lot of product on them, so it's not like they had some strong good smell, and if anything people generally expect them to smell bad (although mine did not, I promise :p), so I guess I just don't quite get what he was hoping for with that.

This is also, coincidentally, the story of 'why I don't let strangers touch my hair even if they ask first.'

[hairgoals]

..........

[Kat]

Well that explains him, but not me, I'm female! Lol! maybe I just hung out with the guys too much in Highschool, lol!

Heh, I was thinking in terms of it being a guy who said "hey smell this" to you, but now that you mention it, I think I'm paranoid too for that same reason (doesn't help that I work mostly with men...).

[LiveYourDreams]

Although it does sound creepy, it could have been innocent. I have been in line behind someone and noticed that they had a nice fragrance, be it their shampoo/conditioner, perfume, body spray, etc. It is hard not to notice a good smell and not enjoy it when you're in line, bored, waiting your turn.
I would like to that it was innocent, but I don't think it was. She told me that it seemed like he was following her. He would end up on the same aisle, stare at her, and then walk away only to end up on a different aisle that she would be on, and then ended up being behind her in line. I know that one person did that to me, and it was innocent, but he wasn't completely creepy like this guy. He was from a different country and had never seen hair like mine before. All he wanted to know was if it was naturally curly and if he could touch it lol. :)

[LiveYourDreams]

I don't think it's ever happened. I once asked my husband to smell my hair (because I thought it smelled good), and he drew back and said "why?" That is so funny! FrozenBritannia has a really good point lol. I asked my brother one time to smell my hair and he asked me why, what did you put in it? It's something that smells bad, right? I laughed, but he was serious! :)

[jeanniet]

I don't think it's ever happened. I once asked my husband to smell my hair (because I thought it smelled good), and he drew back and said "why?"
Bwahaha, this is totally what my husband would do! He is very persnickety.

[Bedhead]

I would have been a lot more aggressive than she was. That is an invasion of her space and possibly a sexual action. He was way out of line and had no right to be upset with her. Strangers do not have a right to your personal space.

I totally agree with this except to say, there's not doubt in my mind this was a sexual thing. He was crossing boundaries big time, and knew it :mad:. As far as I'm concerned he might as well have been smelling a pair of your underwear, and no I don't think I'm exaggerating, for him I suspect it's the same thing. In the future tell her not to hesitate to be more aggressive. It's VERY different when people are being affectionate or simply appreciative, and this is not either of the two. Trust your instincts.

[Darkessa]

I agree with all the above. :whip:

It is incredibly rude and creepy to touch someone you don't know. Remember what we learned in school? No touching!
Hahaha. I love the whip.
It fits perfectly.
I should carry one around with me, it would come in handy in those creepy situations.

[Macaroni]

I've had a woman grab my hair and rub it in her face at the store.:run:
I ended up whipping around real quick and elbowed her in the nose.
I'm not fond of people invading my personal space, especially to touch/smell my hair.
Now, I'm even like this with family, except my Itchki (Mom).
My cousin (who has a history of molesting family and strangers hair in public) once grabbed my hair out in public, and I grabbed her boob. I explained that her grabbing my hair was the equivalent of me grabbing her boob, and she's never done it again - to anyone. I would never do that to a complete stranger. I usually give them dirty looks. I'm not embarrassing them out loud but they get the hint.

I LOVE this!

[lostchyld]

I was horrible, but not any more. One of my ex-boyfriends, the only one I don't talk to anymore, liked to scratch my head... in public, because my reaction amused him... Of course, then he decided it would be funny to show his friends the reaction, so I ended up with Ex and his buddies gang raping my head... (Not that extreme, but I didn't know his friends and I didn't have the self esteem at the time to say no) Needless to say, that particular reaction is replaced with a boot to the crotch now.

On the other hand, I'm pretty tolerant of benign touching. I have to be, I'm a knitter and if I expect people to let me touch their sweaters and socks and mittens and scarves and hats, I have to reciprocate. I'd probably let someone touch or smell my hair if I thought it was a benign request.

On the other hand, touching without permission or warning is a good way to get mauled without warning, even if you're just going after the sweater. I can be mean when I have to be.

[Macaroni]

I've never been accosted by a stranger, people around here are rather conservative, but I imagine a swear word or two would slip out of my mouth.

I've received compliments and a time or two heard "look at her hair!". It's fine with me when they look and don't touch.

[KN2384]

I've never had someone just touch and smell my hair, but I have had folks comment on my hair. If someone I don't know were to get in my space I could see me getting verbal really quick. Another major factor would be how I felt about the situation, someone I know kindly stroking my hair is not a problem, someone I don't know just grabbing and smelling, would hear about my dissatisfaction with their invading my personal space.

I was at an elementary school the other day and bent down to drink some water from the fountain and a 6 year old came up to me and asked if she could hold my hair for me while drinking, I told her no and continued to hold it and drink and then she said my hair smelled like the ocean and "blue". I simply told her thank you and went on about my business. This did not bother me at all.

I personally don't feel that I would have to wear my hair up all the time if I felt uncomfortable if it happened a time or two, I would just stand my ground if someone crossed the line.

One thing that comes to my mind is that it is more rare to see a woman with long hair and it fascinates folks, even me. I love to see a woman with her hair long and free, to me it shows that she is her own person, not someone who has to have the latest hair style or have her hair short because she is a "certain" age.

[AcornMystic]

Well I must first say, generally, you shouldn't wear scents on your hair if you don't want people to be forced to have to smell the aroma, especially if the scent is strong. They have noses and scent is the strongest sense of them all. It is also, for that matter, the most powerful in bringing about memories and therefore feelings and feelings can overwhelm people to act without thinking.

Having said that though, I completely understand the boundaries issue and I felt dirty when I read the story about being on the bus and the guy that just grinned. I imagined some grubby homeless man with fingerless gloves, a toque, greasy/stringy grey hair and beard, and yellow teeth, a couple missing, showing a big toothy grin. That's what his actions made me picture him as. That one grossed me out and I'd have had a few words to speak to him, though mainly I'd want to know why he felt he had the right to do that and continue to do it even after I'd showed disapproval.. though the answer to some may seem obvious.

I find these days I have less tolerance for the pushiness of others, and allowing them the satisfaction to think they have control over me, but I don't like violence unless it is warranted and an explanation from them is at least in order. I have seen what impulsiveness and assumptions can do. It takes a lot to rile me up, but when I do... I can be quite the raging bull as mentioned in my bio.

Back in high school, there used to be this student, a male, though many aren't surprised, I'm sure, who would follow me in the halls and reach out at my hair and stroke it as I walked. I was never that confrontational back then, even though I was filled with contempt a lot of time at that point in my life, but I'd dart my head back and shoot him a dirty glare while I kept walking, multiple times it would happen until he would eventually fall back in the crowd of people. I've no recollection of ever saying anything to him during those incidents. I have mentioned it at least one other time on these boards, but my memory of it gets more and more rusty as those are memories I don't much care to remember, since I'd like to keep room for those I do. Back then I had APL hair and never did anything particularly special with it. The only thing I did that could have had an effect on the quality of my hair was braid it at night most times, wash it once a week out of financial necessity and boar bristle brushed it with an idea of what it did. Why he did it, I do not know. Maybe he liked me and had an annoying and creepy way of showing it. Or he simply just wanted to get a rise out of me.

All I know is that when I scent my hair with argon oil, I expect that people will smell the oil and, in fact, like it. In some cases, they may even be overwhelmed by the smell and lose control of their actions. They may even already have mental issues. But regardless, some questioning is at least in order for them doing so. I am not as inclined to consider them all creeps. If they do feel inclined to put their noses to my hair I won't be as creeped out, though I'll likely give them a weird look, if they at least afterwards address me about it. To smell it and be on their way or ignore me, the wearer of the hair, I would think is kinda rude. Like attempting to steal off with something, or make me feel like an object, if that makes sense. Like a flower to indulge in and then discard. That is what would make me think them a hair ******ist with social issues. Now that's creepy behaviour. It's all about how they work the situation after the action if they do act before they speak, or even act as they are speaking. Appearance has a lot to do with it as well. As hypocritical as it sounds for me to have just discarded assumptions. A charming hygienic and gentle-menly/womanly person will bring about a lot less of a negative reaction from me, because since they care about themselves, they may be able to show appreciation for my hair and aren't putting their unclean-ness on my hair which shows even more inconsideration. (Don't think I'm not thinking about Ted Bundy here when I talk about charm and such... >.>) I actually respond alright to physical interaction if it is done in a respectful and flattering manner. I like touch, as another mentioned.

Wow.. this post is getting fairly long. I talk too much.... -_- I think I should end here. I hope my view has been presented clearly enough and I haven't just been rambling. Sorry for the book.:o

ETA: I just asked my husband what he would do if someone started smelling my hair in public and these were his exact words, "I take it someone did? Well...I would wonder why if I didn't know it was scented or such. And be on alert. >.> Why do you ask? Did someone smell your hair?"

Good to know I wouldn't have a scene on my hands unless I asked for it, but I suppose I'm not really surprised by his response. He's the sort that assesses situations and promotes caution. :)

[Kat]

Well I must first say, generally, you shouldn't wear scents on your hair if you don't want people to be forced to have to smell the aroma, especially if the scent is strong. They have noses and scent is the strongest sense of them all.

There is a BIG difference between someone being able to smell you when you walk past, and grabbing your hair and sticking it up to their nose and taking a big whiff. The latter is what we're talking about, here. You do NOT touch me or my hair without permission, and you sure as hell don't act like I'm a frigging scented candle.

[Darkessa]

There is a BIG difference between someone being able to smell you when you walk past, and grabbing your hair and sticking it up to their nose and taking a big whiff. The latter is what we're talking about, here. You do NOT touch me or my hair without permission, and you sure as hell don't act like I'm a frigging scented candle.

^^^^^ This.

[savannahlove]

That is a ridiculous invasion of personal space. That's a strictly intimate thing, and for a complete stranger to do that to someone... even just thinking about somebody doing that to me makes me upset. Normally I don't mind friends playing with my hair; I don't get all riled up by them touching it or anything. But I just have this image of some weird guy on the street in my head doing that and it creeps me out.

[PixxieStix]

I hope I don't have to deal with this ever, since I don't use anything with a strong scent (oil shampoo and some coconut oil on the ends), I don't think anyone would WANT to smell my hair.

Yeah, it would creep me out a heck of a lot though, more so than just petting or something like that. Unwelcomed or unexpected approaches to my person tend to be met with a few ingrained moves taught to me by my sensai when I first took up martial arts. In the past I would likely just have gawked at the person doing such a thing in disbelief, but now that I am older go with my gut instinct, and if it tells me someone is being creepy, they are gonna get it! Sometimes people just don't think before they do something though, and those types are pretty easy to spot because they get so embarrassed if you say something.

[terpentyna]

I can't even fathom how the OK-ness of this could possibly be debatable.

[AcornMystic]

There is a BIG difference between someone being able to smell you when you walk past, and grabbing your hair and sticking it up to their nose and taking a big whiff. The latter is what we're talking about, here. You do NOT touch me or my hair without permission, and you sure as hell don't act like I'm a frigging scented candle.



I can't even fathom how the OK-ness of this could possibly be debatable.


A scented candle. XD Ok sorry, the issue isn't funny, just how you put it, because I pictured to when I shop for candles and can't help but pick up and smell all the candles down the isle when I'm shopping for them, sometimes with frivolous delight and then a moment later with an expression I suppose that might suggest I am trying to make a decision with the utmost serious consideration. I must look so indecisive.:o

It is interesting how black and white it is for many people and how for others there is some grey. The biggest issue for me is people's hygiene, their intensity/pushiness, and how they treat me afterwards.

[LotusFIre]

The whole reason I'm growing my hair long is to to have flowy hair down my back if I wish, and do cool things with it if I wish. I don't want any freaks touching it..like when I was pregnant and strangers would flag me down to touch my belly and give me stupid advice on how I shouldn't carry a gallon of milk or raise my arms over my head on a full moon. :rolleyes:
If any jerks touch my hair, I may kick him in the brazilian nuts. :disgust:

[Kat]

A scented candle. XD Ok sorry, the issue isn't funny, just how you put it, because I pictured to when I shop for candles and can't help but pick up and smell all the candles down the isle when I'm shopping for them

Yup, that's precisely what I was thinking! Because who doesn't go past the candles/soaps/whatever and pick up every single one and smell it? Except that's totally not cool to do to another person! LOL


You know, i swear I'm just going to start reacting in a more extreme manner when people touch me inappropriately like that (luckily it doesn't happen very often). Instead of quietly taking it, I should just lash out. Who's gonna blame me? "Officer, if somebody is grabbing me, I have no idea why and in this day and age, I have to assume it may not be for a good reason."

(Still very clear in my mind is a couple years ago when a lady thought I worked at a grocery store [people tend to think I work in stores. No idea why. Doesn't matter the store [thrift store, grocery store, metaphysical bookshop, hardware store], and doesn't matter what I'm wearing [jeans and t-shirt, nice pants and a button-down shirt, anything in between, something that's nothing like what the store employees wear], and doesn't matter what I'm doing [browsing the aisles, chatting with my mom if we're together, nothing that looks even remotely like anything but, well, a shopper browsing aisles]. So I'm walking down an aisle and suddenly this woman grabs my arm and says, "meringue powder?" I was thinking, "wtf? I don't care WHO you think I am, you don't first GRAB me as I pass, and then bark two words at me rudely, and expect me to help you!" Soooo inappropriate. I should've told her so, but at the time I was so shocked I just muttered "I don't work here" and walked off. [Or, conversely, I should've looked confused and said "No, Kat, sorry. You must think I'm someone else." Or perhaps just "Oh, no thank you," and walked away.])