"If my hairdresser saw your hair she would cut it all off"

[talknerdytome]

This is what my old flatmate said to me at the beginning of last year. I was pretty upset, when I asked her to explain she said that it's just because her hairdresser hates long hair. She used to comment a lot about how I should cut my hair though. Since then I have been really paranoid and have only just started wearing my hair down again.

How do you guys deal with nasty comments?

[Alethia]

I'd just laugh. I don't really care whether people like or dislike my hair. It's not theirs so not really any of their business.

I had a hairdresser as a patient who said that I really should consider cutting my hair because the ends must be in really bad condition. He was a nice guy and meant well, so I just smiled and handed him my braid tassel to inspect. I only had about 2 or 3 split ends at the time and he was really surprised. He shut up after that. :D

[Michiru]

I probably would say off hand-ish "Well, I'd rather have my hair over your hair" I know it's not nice, but that really is what I'd say.

The popular answer around here is "I'm not here to decorate your world"

[akurah]

Oh, be careful with suggestive statements like that. I'd consider keeping hair UP around said people, as well as scissors put away, and if they live with you, it might be worthwhile getting a lock for the bedroom door...

I'm paranoid, though.

[basak]

That's seriously crazy! I mean, I understand how others might not like long hair and make comments about it, but this one sounds so extremely and obscenely juvenile.

[talknerdytome]

Yeah, she really was. I had a lot of problems with my flatmates. I'm living with much nicer people next year :-)

The funny thing is, she would straighten her hair and dye it all the time and I would never lecture her. I don't see why people can't just keep their opinions to themselves.

[Riot Crrl]

"Good thing I'm not going to your hairdresser then. Sounds like crappy service."

[nostalgic]

I'm sorry, I laughed when I read this! It's funny isn't it how people categorize us by hair length? As an incoming freshman I had VERY short hair (shorter than my avatar, less then 2 inches actually) and I later found out that a lot of people thought I was a lesbian just because I had short hair! (well, and because I refused to have drunken make-out etc sessions with guys I didn't know or find attractive.... my bf is forever grateful for my restraint ;)). I then decided to grow my hair for LOL and was getting really irritated with such long hair (shoulder length haha) and had mentioned I wanted to chop it of and my roommate at the time loftily said "why would you do that, you know, guys only like long hair..." I was speechless! who the heck cares?! it's my head!!!! and THAT is how you deal with comments: as long as it makes you happy and it's really what you want, it doesn't matter what anyone else says! HIH!

[wintersun99]

"If my hairdresser saw your hair she would cut it all off"

Glad I don't go to your hairdresser... [that's all I'd say to that remark]

[Melisande]

"Then I think your hairdresser is a bossy and rude person, and I'm thankful you warned me!"

:rolleyes:

Why do people think they can say anything that comes into their minds? Isn't this what education should give us - some kind of filter, so we don't blurb and bleat out every silly idea that crosses our minds?

Crazy world.

[30isthenewblack]

The whole hairdressing industry needs to be regulated. There are a lot of hairdressers who I do believe do not like natural, long hair. There are also a lot of hairdressing salons whether they are high end or not who shuttle people in and out of the salon because they have overbooked (greed), don't listen to what you're saying and do a one size fits all haircut for everyone. There also seems to be this assumption that every time you go for a trim, at least two inches needs to be cut off for the hair to be healthy. Even if the hair is tapering, from what I can see from the pictures on the board, this does not mean that the hair is unhealthy.

I have been monitoring my ends quite closely and I can't see any split ends or damage. I was caught up in a cycle where my hair would grow and just when I had some decent length, I would agree to the hairdresser cutting off an inch or two because I thought they knew best. But you know, we know what's best for our hair and unfortunately, there aren't many 'professionals' out there. It's a shame that unlike doctors, we can't get them barred from working if they have done a hack job on our hair. I have learned my lesson from personal experience and from reading stories on the board that the best way for me to achieve length is to cut my own hair and not enter a salon again.

[Slug Yoga]

The whole hairdressing industry needs to be regulated. There are a lot of hairdressers who I do believe do not like natural, long hair.

Well, I suppose they make way more money from people who constantly cut, style, dye, etc. their hair, than they would from someone who maybe gets a trim a couple times a year! I imagine that's part of it.

[30isthenewblack]

Well, I suppose they make way more money from people who constantly cut, style, dye, etc. their hair, than they would from someone who maybe gets a trim a couple times a year! I imagine that's part of it.

Yes, that is definitely true but there are a lot of people who are unhappy with hairdressers regardless whether they have asked for a trim, for their hair to be drastically cut short or dyed. It's a cowboy industry and hairdressers are allowed to get away with whatever they want to for the most part which is why people need to put in complaints to a manager or a government department (ours is called the Office of Fair Trading in NSW). I read another story yesterday about two deaf girls who went to get their hair trimmed and they communicated this to the hairdresser. One was waiting whilst her friend had her hair cut. The hairdresser took it upon herself to cut her waist length hair to bsl and her excuse was that her hair would be more manageable ie she did it on purpose. Those kind of stories sicken me. Who would do that to someone with a disability? I making a personal protest and not going to let a hairdresser cut my hair any longer.

[Pegasus Marsters]

Yes, that is definitely true but there are a lot of people who are unhappy with hairdressers regardless whether they have asked for a trim, for their hair to be drastically cut short or dyed. It's a cowboy industry and hairdressers are allowed to get away with whatever they want to for the most part which is why people need to put in complaints to a manager or a government department (ours is called the Office of Fair Trading in NSW). I read another story yesterday about two deaf girls who went to get their hair trimmed and they communicated this to the hairdresser. One was waiting whilst her friend had her hair cut. The hairdresser took it upon herself to cut her waist length hair to bsl and her excuse was that her hair would be more manageable ie she did it on purpose. Those kind of stories sicken me. Who would do that to someone with a disability? I making a personal protest and not going to let a hairdresser cut my hair any longer.
Bolding mine.

God, I don't see why it makes a difference that she was disabled. Cutting of ANYONES hair against their will should be illegal.

On the other hand, if you go to the hair dresser and they do a shitty job it's the risk you take... same as a tattoo artist or body piercer. How about a plumber, builder or electrician? A shitty haircut won't kill you, but a body piercer who doesn't know how to use an autoclave could give you all kinds of diseases. Or a builder who makes a substandard wall that falls? That could kill you. How about a shoddy electrician that leaves sparks coming out of all your switches whenever you use them? I myself have had electric shocks because of shoddy wiring in my bedroom. A bad haircut really should be the LEAST of our worries.

And as for the disability thing... I'd be p***ed if someone treated me differently because I use a cane... I noticed I get better service in shops since I started using one. The point is, I should have been getting that good service even WITHOUT the cane. The only thing I am grateful for is the fact that people do (atleast some of the time) give up thier seats for me on trains and busses but that is because it HURTS for me to stand for too long, and It's nearly impossible to balence on a moving train. On the other hand, a normal service in a store (IE: Not having 3 staff run around assisting me as happened the other day) is not going to leave me in pain.

[30isthenewblack]

God, I don't see why it makes a difference that she was disabled. Cutting of ANYONES hair against their will should be illegal.

On the other hand, if you go to the hair dresser and they do a shitty job it's the risk you take... same as a tattoo artist or body piercer. How about a plumber, builder or electrician? A shitty haircut won't kill you, but a body piercer who doesn't know how to use an autoclave could give you all kinds of diseases. Or a builder who makes a substandard wall that falls? That could kill you. A bad haircut really should be the LEAST of our worries.

And as for the disability thing... I'd be p***ed if someone treated me differently because I use a cane... I noticed I get better service in shops since I started using one. The point is, I should have been getting that good service even WITHOUT the cane. The only thing I am grateful for is the fact that people do (atleast some of the time) give up thier seats for me on trains and busses but that is because it HURTS for me to stand for too long, and It's nearly impossible to balence on a moving train. On the other hand, a normal service in a store (IE: Not having 3 staff run around assisting me as happened the other day) is not going to leave me in pain.

The point I was trying to make in saying that she was disabled was that the hairdresser's reasoning was that cutting her hair shorter would be easier for her to manage because of her disability.

[wintersun99]

With regards to hair stylists, as with anything else, there are "good" and "not so good" one's out there. It takes time to find a fit. I hope this thread doesn't turn into yet another "hair dresser/stylist/colorist bashing thread" we've had more then enough.

[30isthenewblack]

With regards to hair stylists, as with anything else, there are "good" and "not so good" one's out there. It takes time to find a fit. I hope this thread doesn't turn into yet another "hair dresser/stylist/colorist bashing thread" we've had more then enough.

I've said my piece and I don't usually participate in those threads but I've had too many bad ones to give the good ones the benefit of the doubt.

[Pegasus Marsters]

The point I was trying to make in saying that she was disabled was that the hairdresser's reasoning was that cutting her hair shorter would be easier for her to manage because of her disability.

Well in that case the hairdresser was idiotic, as I doubt deafness is going to make a blind bit of difference to how hard it is to take care of her hair. On the other hand, long hair would be hard for somebody with a disability that leaves them in great pain or fatigue.

The point however, is that it DOES NOT MATTER whos hair she cut. The point is that she cut this girls hair against her will!

There are good hairdressers out there, I've met them... the trouble is that all too often people go in to get haircuts and have hair completely the wrong texture and thickness to create the haircut they want, then when it looks wrong they get upset even if the hairdresser told them it wouldn't work in the first place. Sometimes the blame lies with the customer. Fact.

[Riot Crrl]

On the other hand, if you go to the hair dresser and they do a shitty job it's the risk you take... same as a tattoo artist or body piercer. How about a plumber, builder or electrician? A shitty haircut won't kill you, but a body piercer who doesn't know how to use an autoclave could give you all kinds of diseases. Or a builder who makes a substandard wall that falls? That could kill you. How about a shoddy electrician that leaves sparks coming out of all your switches whenever you use them? I myself have had electric shocks because of shoddy wiring in my bedroom. A bad haircut really should be the LEAST of our worries.

Not so for chemical processes, though. There have been deaths from PPD reactions. I'm not sure about death, but bleach and relaxers have been responsible for severe chemical burns requiring hospital visits.

[kwaniesiam]

:bigeyes:

Somebody sounds jealous. I wouldn't wear your hair down or in a braid/ponytail around her...

[Pegasus Marsters]

Not so for chemical processes, though. There have been deaths from PPD reactions. I'm not sure about death, but bleach and relaxers have been responsible for severe chemical burns requiring hospital visits.

I'm not sure bleach or relaxers have ever killed anyone... I doubt it somehow. I do agree that people should HAVE to take very thorough training courses to be able to use chemicals on your hair... but I don't think that was the subject at hand...

I don't normally go to the hairdressers for my chemical treatments, I do all those at home. I can say, from experience, that even if you've used bleach a million times over there is still that one chance you got a bad batch of it when you bought the peroxide... I bought some bleach and peroxide and used it on my hair. Same brand I always bought. Yet only 5 minutes after I put it on my hair SMOKE started rising. I'm not kidding, my scalp started smoking and burning and I'd bleached my hair every 2 weeks for several months by this point. I knew what I was doing. The bleach must have been a bad batch. I had a big blister on my scalp for a long time... twas horrible. But I wasn't to blame, the bleach manufacturor was... who's to say that from time to time the hairdressers don't end up with a crappy batch like I did?

I agree anyone using chemicals on my hair should be trained... but at the same time, dang. I often enough slap chemicals onto my head. I dye regularly, I use shampoo and conditioner... that's all full of chemicals! I aint died yet ;)

[angelthadiva]

30isthenewblack and Pegasus Marsters:

I can see both of your points--What is tragic in that situation is the gal got her hair cut shorter than what she wished for...If she was unable to convey her exact desire to the stylist because of her hearing disability, or if the stylist took it upon herself to do as she wished to make things "easier" for the gal--That wasn't the stylist decision to make. :flower:

[Pegasus Marsters]

30isthenewblack and Pegasus Marsters:

I can see both of your points--What is tragic in that situation is the gal got her hair cut shorter than what she wished for...If she was unable to convey her exact desire to the stylist because of her hearing disability, or if the stylist took it upon herself to do as she wished to make things "easier" for the gal--That wasn't the stylist decision to make. :flower:

From the story posted I got the impression it was the friend who went along who had her hair chopped against her will, NOT the girl paying for a cut in the first place.

[angelthadiva]

Oh, I must have misunderstood...Will have to re-read it...

Home comp is wonky...I'm at work, heading back home!

Carry on! :luke:

[Darkhorse1]

If said people cut your hair, they'd be thrown in jail for assault and sued for every penny they have. So, when you say that, they kind of back off ;)

Of course hair dresser would want to cut off hair! It's what they do for a living. Plus, the more trendy your style, the more you are going back to them and keep paying them. Long hair doesn't give back much revenue. I say :P to them.

[Lady Godiva]

"Thank you for the warning," I would say. ;)

[DecafJane]

What a bully! Even if her hairdresser would say that, why would she then say it to you? She's being mean.

[Tressie]

I would just smile at her, I think! I have had people try to manipulate me about my hair. I do have a stylist who will trim only what I ask and is not "scissor happy", however she does say that the ends look "dry" and so on. However, I have discovered that with my hair being a mixture of medium, fine and very fine hairs, I can find some splits on the shortest hairs as well as the longest hairs. So, I made my decision to do S&D and not let anyone dictate to me about cutting off my hair in the name of "getting off the bad ends" LOL! This board has helped me alot in this regard! I am being more careful of my hair and trying to avoid SLS and cones, doing regular oilings and avoiding the vent brush in favor of a comb. Don't forget when people make comments about cutting your hair........it took a long time for your hair to reach it's glorious length, and anytime you wish you can cut it short, but those who have short hair can't have what you now have except by waiting! Sometimes I think these comments are just sour grapes!:)

[BlackfootHair]

"If my hairdresser saw your hair she would cut it all off."

"No she wouldn't, I'd knock her out first." *smile*

"Well, we are certainly entitled to our own opinions...that doesn't mean every one wants to hear them."

"She just really hates long hair."

"oh, well that certainly sounds like a personal problem. Perhaps she should talk it out with a counselor."

"Oh, too bad for her."

"You should cut your hair."

"Well, aren't you generous with unwanted advice!"
"Not everyone as is interested in your opinions as you would have yourself believe."
"Now why would I do a thing like that? After all, it's MY hair, and I happen to like it very much."
"You should stop giving advice."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I don't remember asking for your opinion."
"Oh, okay, well, thanks for the advice...I'll keep that in mind for the day I decide to worry about what anyone else thinks."

Wow..I could keep this list of responses up forever! hahaha...

[EdG]

I was pretty upset, when I asked her to explain she said that it's just because her hairdresser hates long hair. There's an old adage "Never ask a barber whether one needs a haircut." :D
Ed

[girlcat36]

I think long hair is so beautiful--any type of long hair---curly, wavy, or straight. I just don't understand the hatred and disgust some people have for long hair. I have never had truly long hair, yet I have always admired and wanted it!

[KiwiLiz]

I'd say back to her "If a hairdresser cut all my hair off I'd stab her with her own scissors!!!"

Well, maybe not, but I'd be thinking it :P

[Sofoulee]

I personally believe that snide, rude comments come from a bit of jealousy. I react graciously towards anyone nasty and take it as a compliment, then usually make it into a joke.

I'm just one for keeping things light-hearted.

[CurlyOne]

"Thanks for the warning."

Do be careful around people who don't have respect for other people, don't try to provoke them. One of my good friends had about a foot of hair chopped off by her roommate as an April Fool's prank while she was sleeping.

[ladyshannonanne]

Hah! Yah, seriously, "Thanks for the warning!"

You know, I think hair is a lot like fashion. There are some people who want to fulfill every new trend and keep up with what's en vogue at the expense of their personal taste or what they really like. If you like having long hair--and it makes you feel beautiful--there's no reason on earth you should cut it.

I've spent the last three years with "fashionable" hair cuts and now I'm just trying to get back to my plain old long brown hair. I love it. It makes me feel girly and pretty.

And beside all that, of course the girl's hairdresser would want to chop at your beautiful hair! That's how she makes money!

[Lamb]

and my roommate at the time loftily said "why would you do that, you know, guys only like long hair..."

Really? Mankind would have become extinct during the 1920s-1930s if that were true. :bs:

[Unofficial_Rose]

Maybe as a short-haired person she genuinely thinks short hair would suit you? My best friend has had cropped hair her whole life, she never tells me to cut my hair, but often compliments me on it when I have had it cut short.

My theory is that there are "short-hair people" and "long hair people" (plus others who move between the two!) Both of which can be keen to say that others should be like them!

Of course the way she said it would indicate whether she is being mean or not...depends if she normally does that kind of peculiar sniping behaviour some people are so fond of.:shrug:

Which I really hate - it's aggression, but in the most cowardly way!

[Djinn]

One of my good friends had about a foot of hair chopped off by her roommate as an April Fool's prank while she was sleeping.

:disbelief What a horrible, horrible thing to do! I thought April Fool's pranks were supposed to be funny.

[bunnii]

I don't tend to get comments about my length but my mum does at work, even though her's is in great condition (and even if its not who has the right to judge her??) she gets told that older women should cut their hair :rolleyes: (shes 50with the most gorgeous red going slightly grey hair :D ) she just says 'isn't it funny how women with short hair that can't grow it feel the need to tell women with long hair to cut?' whenever she tells me about the newest hair comment I just lmao.

[spidermom]

Just because she said it doesn't make it true. One of the first things my DD told me about her hair stylist was that stylist thought I was probably afraid to try something new but that she would talk me into it because she was good at that. I wouldn't see her stylist for a long time for my trims because of that, but I owed DD a favor and this was what she wanted - that I see her stylist. The stylist is awesome and at last visit was more invested in seeing me reach my stated goal of classic length than I was (I was really disgusted with my hair that day).

I've found that the best answer to un-asked-for suggestions about my hair is "I don't want to."

[Kiraela]

Curlyone: If I'd have been that friend, I probably would have cried my eyes out for about four hours, and then proceeded to beat the ever loving heck out of my roommate. We're talkin' hospitalization here. :(! Poor girl.

I have to agree, though, Talknerdytome, I would probably have just said 'thanks for the warning'... and proceeded to keep it in a bun, or a braid pulled over my shoulder, for the rest of the time I was living with her.

As for other nasty comments, I don't get many(I'm usually with DBF, and he's... imposing looking), but when I do, either an affronted 'excuse me?' while looking at them like they are made of cat vomit, or clutching my hair and whispering to it, 'it's okay baby, he/she doesn't know any better', glaring at them, and wandering off. Then again, I'm known as an odd one, generally, so YMMV.

[WaimeaWahine]

My best friend, who is almost bald, made a very passive aggressive remark like, "You look like Cousin It. You should get it styled or something."

You recognize negative remarks for what they are, and that one was filed under jealousy.

Then there was the strange man on the sidewalk who... (heavy sigh) ...said, "Oh wow! You look like Betty Page!" She was, for those that don't know but can Google, a pin up girl/minor porn star. It was so revolting. I'm no prude, but seriously, that's NOT a compliment.

I wanted to say, "So every woman with dark hair and bangs is a skank?" But I said nothing figuring his "issues" are greater than any comeback line can fix.

[Pegasus Marsters]

My best friend, who is almost bald, made a very passive aggressive remark like, "You look like Cousin It. You should get it styled or something."

You recognize negative remarks for what they are, and that one was filed under jealousy.

Then there was the strange man on the sidewalk who... (heavy sigh) ...said, "Oh wow! You look like Betty Page!" She was, for those that don't know but can Google, a pin up girl/minor porn star. It was so revolting. I'm no prude, but seriously, that's NOT a compliment.

I wanted to say, "So every woman with dark hair and bangs is a skank?" But I said nothing figuring his "issues" are greater than any comeback line can fix.

Alot of women would take it as a huge compliment to be compared to her... I don't think you're helping matters by calling her a skank. Infact several ladies on this board either do have, used to have, or have debated having "Bettie bangs" cut in...

Does that make all pin up girls and models "skanks"? Seriously, don't throw that word around. It doesn't make you look big or clever. The guy probably was GENUINELY complimenting you. He didn't say it like "eeew, you look like bettie page!" he said it with a "wow"... It probably meant he thought you were damn sexy!

If somebody says you look like someone, whoever they may be, with a tone of awe then it probably means that person floats thier boat... you should be complimented. I used to get told I looked like Keira Knightly... I could take that as meaning I'm a skinny flat chested chick who needs to pout less... I never took it as such. I always thought "Hey, awesome!" (I don't get compared to celebs anymore... Maybe i just don't look like any? *pout* )

[bunnii]

Alot of women would take it as a huge compliment to be compared to her... I don't think you're helping matters by calling her a skank. Infact several ladies on this board either do have, used to have, or have debated having "Bettie bangs" cut in...

Does that make all pin up girls and models "skanks"? Seriously, don't throw that word around. It doesn't make you look big or clever. The guy probably was GENUINELY complimenting you. He didn't say it like "eeew, you look like bettie page!" he said it with a "wow"... It probably meant he thought you were damn sexy!

If somebody says you look like someone, whoever they may be, with a tone of awe then it probably means that person floats thier boat... you should be complimented. I used to get told I looked like Keira Knightly... I could take that as meaning I'm a skinny flat chested chick who needs to pout less... I never took it as such. I always thought "Hey, awesome!" (I don't get compared to celebs anymore... Maybe i just don't look like any? *pout* )

Aboloutely agree I for one would love to be told I look like her, not at all a 'skank' sure she was a bit racey especially for the time, but she was very glamorous and beautiful. And if the dude has an appreciation for Bettie Page and thought you looked like her, then thats a compliment in my eyes :agree:

[Pegasus Marsters]

Aboloutely agree I for one would love to be told I look like her, not at all a 'skank' sure she was a bit racey especially for the time, but she was very glamorous and beautiful.

And IMO it IS a compliment :agree:

See, you said what I wanted to say but in far less words.

I'd also be complimented if someone compared me to Dita Von Teese... now SHE is a glamorous woman.

[Mandie]

I agree that a Betty Page compliment was SO a compliment. She's gorgeous. I used to be compared to Meg Ryan and Reese Witherspoon - people would literally race across a store to tell me. That was when my hair was short; I have it too long now for such comments LOL.

[thankyousir74]

I'm sorry, I laughed when I read this! It's funny isn't it how people categorize us by hair length? As an incoming freshman I had VERY short hair (shorter than my avatar, less then 2 inches actually) and I later found out that a lot of people thought I was a lesbian just because I had short hair! (well, and because I refused to have drunken make-out etc sessions with guys I didn't know or find attractive.... my bf is forever grateful for my restraint ;)). I then decided to grow my hair for LOL and was getting really irritated with such long hair (shoulder length haha) and had mentioned I wanted to chop it of and my roommate at the time loftily said "why would you do that, you know, guys only like long hair..." I was speechless! who the heck cares?! it's my head!!!! and THAT is how you deal with comments: as long as it makes you happy and it's really what you want, it doesn't matter what anyone else says! HIH!

Yeah I had the same thing, being in high school as well. I had pretty short hair and along with that apparently comes the conversion to lesbianism.

[WaimeaWahine]

Alot of women would take it as a huge compliment to be compared to her... I don't think you're helping matters by calling her a skank. Infact several ladies on this board either do have, used to have, or have debated having "Bettie bangs" cut in...

Does that make all pin up girls and models "skanks"? Seriously, don't throw that word around. It doesn't make you look big or clever. The guy probably was GENUINELY complimenting you. He didn't say it like "eeew, you look like bettie page!" he said it with a "wow"... It probably meant he thought you were damn sexy!

If somebody says you look like someone, whoever they may be, with a tone of awe then it probably means that person floats thier boat... you should be complimented. I used to get told I looked like Keira Knightly... I could take that as meaning I'm a skinny flat chested chick who needs to pout less... I never took it as such. I always thought "Hey, awesome!" (I don't get compared to celebs anymore... Maybe i just don't look like any? *pout* )

Let me put it in context. I'm standing on a public sidewalk with my Ipod on waiting to cross the street one evening.

Perfect stranger guy, who was dressed rather dirty, decides that he wants to stand right next to me. In your personal space, close, when there is room to stand anywhere else. He leans over, ignoring the Ipod and my refusal to acknowledge him.

There you have it. Creep factor at a 10 as he says it and then stares at me until the light changes. No, that's not a compliment. Sometimes people enjoy making others uncomfortable. I can see no other purpose for the remark than that based on the circumstances.

Being compared to a celebrity is one thing. Being compared to a sex object who was mostly famous for being nude - sorry - not a compliment and not something you say to a woman you've never met on the street. Consider also, that I'm a Catholic. Can you understand now how offensive the remark was? :(

When you dress in men's clothes, and don't wear jewelry or make-up then you're not trying to call attention to yourself. I look average at best and am overweight. And maybe you don't get compliments like that, but I do - a lot - and most of it is rude and scary.

One strange guy just walked right up to me without even saying hello and asked, "Are you married?" That's not a compliment either. I would never attack someone based on how they feel about a celebrity.

Maybe, before you lept upon my post you should have read some of my others. I was the victim of a horrible crime and I'd just like to be left alone.

Trust me, you don't want to be found "damn sexy" by any stranger. You really really don't. To bring it back on topic, the perp from the crime said it really was my hair that made me attractive and if I had just cut it...

[Speedbump]

She used to comment a lot about how I should cut my hair though. Since then I have been really paranoid and have only just started wearing my hair down again.

How do you guys deal with nasty comments?
It all depends on the nature of the comment. If I were truly afraid that someone is literally going to mutilate me because of their reaction to my hair, I would wear it up around them 100% of the time and I would tell them in a very serious way that it is a crime to do that and that I will press charges against them. At that point, they are either going to back down and say they "were just kidding, jeez" or they will blow up. Either way, you get to see a telling facet of their personality, and they are warned.

If it is someone who is "just talking," then you can probably take one of two roads: 1) ignore them and their comments 2) tell them in no uncertain terms that what they are saying in not appropriate and they should stop. Use whatever pithy comment you like.

Again, to me, the most important aspect of this is to consider the level of actual threat the person poses and go from there. :twocents:

[Pegasus Marsters]

Let me put it in context. I'm standing on a public sidewalk with my Ipod on waiting to cross the street one evening.

Perfect stranger guy, who was dressed rather dirty, decides that he wants to stand right next to me. In your personal space, close, when there is room to stand anywhere else. He leans over, ignoring the Ipod and my refusal to acknowledge him.

There you have it. Creep factor at a 10 as he says it and then stares at me until the light changes. No, that's not a compliment. Sometimes people enjoy making others uncomfortable. I can see no other purpose for the remark than that based on the circumstances.

Being compared to a celebrity is one thing. Being compared to a sex object who was mostly famous for being nude - sorry - not a compliment and not something you say to a woman you've never met on the street. Consider also, that I'm a Catholic. Can you understand now how offensive the remark was? :(

When you dress in men's clothes, and don't wear jewelry or make-up then you're not trying to call attention to yourself. I look average at best and am overweight. And maybe you don't get compliments like that, but I do - a lot - and most of it is rude and scary.

One strange guy just walked right up to me without even saying hello and asked, "Are you married?" That's not a compliment either. I would never attack someone based on how they feel about a celebrity.

Maybe, before you lept upon my post you should have read some of my others. I was the victim of a horrible crime and I'd just like to be left alone.

Trust me, you don't want to be found "damn sexy" by any stranger. You really really don't. To bring it back on topic, the perp from the crime said it really was my hair that made me attractive and if I had just cut it...

Woah, I didn't mean to "Leap on your post" but I'm just saying maybe the guy didn't mean to offend you. Putting it into context I can see why it upset you... it's all about the context! :)

The horrible crime, I assume, was sexual in nature. Believe me, you're not alone. I was abused as a child and your hair is a bulls*** reason for sexual abuse. By that logic I was asking for it by being a child and if I'd just "grown up a bit" it wouldn't have happened. See what I mean?

I'm sorry you went through it. If I'd known the context I wouldn't have leapt... I've had some weird creepy guys talk to me in my time and it weirds me out alot. I had to dance with some very creepy guys at my aunts wedding (swear to god, her and the groom know some creepy creepy guys) and it was about the grossest thing ever... *shudders*