Much Frustration and 2 Questions

[kittengirl]

I am so frustrated with my hair right now. Sometimes it feels like it will NEVER grow. It's currently at solid shoulder length with the tips a bit past my collar bone when wet. The majority of my hair is in good condition but the two strips right in front are quite damaged from my stupid decision to highlight it over a year ago. I S&D constantly and I feel like my front hair is getting shorter instead of longer. I just hate split ends and breaks. I also just decided to grow out my eyebrow length bangs, so more short ends! I'm just hating my hair lately, and I honestly take the best care of it: all natural shampoo, massaging, bbb, tangle teezer, satin sleep cap, up every day, you name it. I'm so sorry about this rant, but it's kind of the only place people understand! Now for the two questions:
When you feel/felt like your hair was really short and horrid, what do you do to make yourself feel better about it? I like to look at movies and be excited when I have longer hair than the character, which doesn't happen too often. :(
Second, I have started brushing my bangs back or wearing a clip, and the scalp in that area is rather sore now. I'm assuming this is because the hair is now going in a different direction, but has anyone else had this happen?
Again, I'm sorry about this long post. I'm just hoping I don't come off sounding insane and totally hair obsessed! :o

[Kelikea]

I wore headband a lot when growing out bangs. And I, too had a bad experience with highlights that left me cutting off the sides of my hair. ( It turned white and crinkly and was breaking off). Maybe try parting you hair differently each day so as not to put too much stress on one area as you grow the bangs out. Fabric or plastic headbands usually don't hurt your temples as much as metal. You can probably wear your hair down some since it is only SL, it won't get too tangled and damaged unless it is very windy or cold.

Take a deep breath, relax, and try not to focus too much on your hair. It will grow, but it takes time. It took me almost 2 years to grow out a crazy layered, mistake of a hair cut. But now it is long again and I feel kinda silly for crying over it back then.

[Zhennni(:]

my hair was REALLY dry last year, due to straight perms, bleach, dyes and heat. I hated it so much too because it felt so rough and dry and had so much splits even thought I tried to take care of it; I got rid of heat and used gentle products etc. . My friend who doesn't even care about her hair and curls it all the time still had hair softer and shinier than mine, and it just makes me so sad. I think the solution to that is to just put it up and not stare at it everyday. It will get better ! and My scalp dont hurt when I put my bangs up so I have no idea why that happen, maybe youre putting it too tight? I agree with changing the direction of putting your bangs up.

[kittengirl]

Patience is not my strong suit! But I try to just wear it up and not think about it. I live in a really cold climate in winter so I can't really wear it down because my coat messes with it. I appreciate the support. Two years doesn't sound too bad....I guess. I know in retrospect it will seem like nothing. I had just really hoped that it would look nice for my wedding, but since that is in a little over 4 months that seems unlikely. I appreciate the encouraging words.

[Zhennni(:]

aww :( but I think shoulder length is enough for some pretty updos or you can put in some extensions just for that special day:)

[FrozenBritannia]

i am sure it will look fine! you're taking a multi I assume? Keeping my hair up helped me get past that stage.

[Miss Catrina]

Have you thought about getting your hair cut with some face-framing? It would cut off the damage in the front parts of your hair without getting rid of your overall length.

[kittengirl]

MIss Catrina, getting face framing layers is a good idea, but I kind of have that already. I just got it trimmed up and a lot of damage cut off in January, and it seemed happier after that (sorry, I always give my hair emotions!).
FrozenBritannia, I do take a womens' ultra multi from Nature's Way, but I only started taking vitamins about two weeks ago.
Zhenni(:, I pretty much wear a french twist thing most days....I think for the wedding I'm going to do a half up.
I just ordered a couple flexi8's and I'm really excited about getting those. I really appreciate all the advice and consolation!

[blondie9912]

I'm suffering the same stuff you are right now. I would say cut off all of the damage (with a REAL trim, not S&D. I find too much S&D can thin out your ends, give you a raggedy hem, and make you obsessed with splits).

Second, buy some cute headbands. I like brightly coloured fabric ones for lazy days when I lightly oil my hair and wear it in a bun, and more interesting 'solid' ones that you put on your head for when I like to look more put together. The fabric ones are like a big O andgo all the way around your head, and the solid ones are U shaped and obviously don't go all the way around your head. Wow, it's surprisingly difficult to describe headband shapes, hopefully you know what I mean though :p

I wear my hair up all the time, mostly loose buns, loose ponytails, and loose side braids. Since you're growing out bangs you can play around with crown French braids, braiding your bangs and then working that braid into the bun or ponytail :) Google Lauren Conrad's hair, even though it's obviously styled to perfection via hair-unfriendly methods, her ideas on braids and twists are lovely.

Most importantly, just keep it out of your way. This may seem odd, but you will definitely notice more growth by getting a good trim and keeping your hair out of your way while letting it grow as opposed to S&Ding all the time without cutting your length properly, which will just cause you to go insane because you'll feel like the splits never stop. Believe me, I've been there. Not fun.

Just get a good trim and wear your hair up a lot, your hair will be at its next milestone before you know it!

[kittengirl]

I'm suffering the same stuff you are right now. I would say cut off all of the damage (with a REAL trim, not S&D. I find too much S&D can thin out your ends, give you a raggedy hem, and make you obsessed with splits).

Second, buy some cute headbands. I like brightly coloured fabric ones for lazy days when I lightly oil my hair and wear it in a bun, and more interesting 'solid' ones that you put on your head for when I like to look more put together. The fabric ones are like a big O andgo all the way around your head, and the solid ones are U shaped and obviously don't go all the way around your head. Wow, it's surprisingly difficult to describe headband shapes, hopefully you know what I mean though :p

I wear my hair up all the time, mostly loose buns, loose ponytails, and loose side braids. Since you're growing out bangs you can play around with crown French braids, braiding your bangs and then working that braid into the bun or ponytail :) Google Lauren Conrad's hair, even though it's obviously styled to perfection via hair-unfriendly methods, her ideas on braids and twists are lovely.

Most importantly, just keep it out of your way. This may seem odd, but you will definitely notice more growth by getting a good trim and keeping your hair out of your way while letting it grow as opposed to S&Ding all the time without cutting your length properly, which will just cause you to go insane because you'll feel like the splits never stop. Believe me, I've been there. Not fun.

Just get a good trim and wear your hair up a lot, your hair will be at its next milestone before you know it!

I appreciate your advice! I got a 'good trim' in January. The only sections of hair I have a real issue with is the two strips right by my face, because they were highlighted. I don't think the rest of my hair really has splits at all....at least none that I can see. I'm probably going to get another nice trim in May, so my ends are nice and fresh for the wedding. I wear cloth headbands a lot....the hard ones hurt my head. I wear my hair up most days. Tonight I decided that I am not going to look at my hair down in a mirror for 2 weeks, to see if I can! I think not staring at it so much might help me....I can be a little obsessive in general.

[Dragon Faery]

Good luck! Treat yourself to a nice moisture treatment and relax. You seem to be taking extremely good care of your hair. In a few years the effects what you're doing now will be very noticeable.

My hair wasn't anywhere NEAR the length I wanted it for my wedding either, and wasn't even styled the way I would have preferred, but it was still an awesome day. Congratulations on your upcoming day, and I hope it's a blast!

:)

Oh, and you are right: it probably is the difference in direction that's causing your bangs area to hurt. Treat it gently for a few weeks, and it should get used to the new order of things with time.

[kittengirl]

Good luck! Treat yourself to a nice moisture treatment and relax. You seem to be taking extremely good care of your hair. In a few years the effects what you're doing now will be very noticeable.

My hair wasn't anywhere NEAR the length I wanted it for my wedding either, and wasn't even styled the way I would have preferred, but it was still an awesome day. Congratulations on your upcoming day, and I hope it's a blast!

:)

Oh, and you are right: it probably is the difference in direction that's causing your bangs area to hurt. Treat it gently for a few weeks, and it should get used to the new order of things with time.

Thanks for the encouragement! I do try to take good care of it. Thank you for the good wishes for the wedding! At least I know my fiance will not care what my hair looks like...I ask his opinion on styles and he always says "they both look good." This can be annoying when I need an opinion. :) I will continue training my bangs as well.

[Dragon Faery]

Thanks for the encouragement! I do try to take good care of it. Thank you for the good wishes for the wedding! At least I know my fiance will not care what my hair looks like...I ask his opinion on styles and he always says "they both look good." This can be annoying when I need an opinion. :) I will continue training my bangs as well.

You're welcome! :)

Haha, my DH is the same way. He says if I shave my head he won't mind ... Although if I press him hard enough, he will eventually admit that he prefers long hair. At least we know they love us, even if they aren't reliable style guides. ;) And at least *they* think we look fine! :)

[kittengirl]

You're welcome! :)

Haha, my DH is the same way. He says if I shave my head he won't mind ... Although if I press him hard enough, he will eventually admit that he prefers long hair. At least we know they love us, even if they aren't reliable style guides. ;) And at least *they* think we look fine! :)

Yes! We always have a number one fan no matter what! See, my dad is very opinionated about my mom's hair. He will say if she got a good cut or not, so I thought all guys were like that. Then I met my fiance and was surprised to find he was ok with whatever. Last night I was asking him him what length he prefers and he said he likes it really short and really long. I said that he must hate it now, then (sl) and he said no, he loves this length too! Well, it saves arguments at least!

[Dragon Faery]

Yes! We always have a number one fan no matter what! See, my dad is very opinionated about my mom's hair. He will say if she got a good cut or not, so I thought all guys were like that. Then I met my fiance and was surprised to find he was ok with whatever. Last night I was asking him him what length he prefers and he said he likes it really short and really long. I said that he must hate it now, then (sl) and he said no, he loves this length too! Well, it saves arguments at least!

That's awesome! :) We are both really lucly. :)

My DH even helped me dye my hair purple once when I took the notion. (My parents are very against hair dyeing of any kind, so it surprised me that he was not only ok with it, but practically did all of it for me.)

Congratuations on finding such an awesome man! :)

[Arya]

Ever thought about getting some clip in extensions for days when you really want your hair to feel longer?
Lots of famous longhairs actually have short hair and extensions *ahemkardashiansahem*.
It might give you the hair you want for your wedding, too.
I'm always playing around with extensions, it gives my own hair a break, and gives me an outlet to experiment.

[melusine963]

I've never dyed my hair or had highlights put in, but the very front bits of my hair are my main problem area, too. They're much drier, frizzier, tanglier, and split-end prone than the rest. Of course, the tangly part means I'm much more likely to tear through it with a brush, making the problem worse.

About a year ago I started using cocunut oil from my chin downwards (any higher would make the rest of my hair greasy). I find that if I carefully oil those front bits it makes them far easier to deal with. They tangle far less, and I've noticed such a decrease in split-ends that it's astounding.

I'm not sure if any of this helps, but I do sympathise with you. Having a part of your hair damaged that's in such a visible place is no fun. In my case it seriously messes with any neat updos I try to make. It's almost impossible for me to brush the front strips directly back without making my whole head look like I've been electrocuted. Instead I have to use a silly 'mini' parting at the front to help that section lie reasonably flat.

[kittengirl]

Ever thought about getting some clip in extensions for days when you really want your hair to feel longer?
Lots of famous longhairs actually have short hair and extensions *ahemkardashiansahem*.
It might give you the hair you want for your wedding, too.
I'm always playing around with extensions, it gives my own hair a break, and gives me an outlet to experiment.
Extensions do not damage the hair, do they? I have wondered about them, but I'm not sure. I might consider that for the wedding, but on the other hand I don't want to look drastically different suddenly on my wedding day. My fiance might go into shock! It is a very good suggestion, though, and one I will consider!:)

[kittengirl]

I've never dyed my hair or had highlights put in, but the very front bits of my hair are my main problem area, too. They're much drier, frizzier, tanglier, and split-end prone than the rest. Of course, the tangly part means I'm much more likely to tear through it with a brush, making the problem worse.

About a year ago I started using cocunut oil from my chin downwards (any higher would make the rest of my hair greasy). I find that if I carefully oil those front bits it makes them far easier to deal with. They tangle far less, and I've noticed such a decrease in split-ends that it's astounding.

I'm not sure if any of this helps, but I do sympathise with you. Having a part of your hair damaged that's in such a visible place is no fun. In my case it seriously messes with any neat updos I try to make. It's almost impossible for me to brush the front strips directly back without making my whole head look like I've been electrocuted. Instead I have to use a silly 'mini' parting at the front to help that section lie reasonably flat.
That's a good idea using coconut oil on the tips only. I usually think it makes me too greasy but I use it on all the hair...I will have to try that. Yes, I hate the damage. And now I feel like I am shedding a lot which is scaring me (I've been haunting every shedding thread on here!) but I think it might be that I am not used to having shoulder length hair, having been at a pixie. I feel like I shed a ton when I was younger and had long hair. I hope, at least. :(

[kittengirl]

That's awesome! :) We are both really lucly. :)

My DH even helped me dye my hair purple once when I took the notion. (My parents are very against hair dyeing of any kind, so it surprised me that he was not only ok with it, but practically did all of it for me.)

Congratuations on finding such an awesome man! :)

Haha, thank you! I'm pretty fond of him.;) Your dh sounds nice. And a good sport. I'm not sure how my fiance would feel about purple, but I think he would be fine with it if I really wanted it. I dyed it a sort of anime red a couple years ago when it was short, and he liked it then!

[Arya]

Extensions do not damage the hair, do they? I have wondered about them, but I'm not sure. I might consider that for the wedding, but on the other hand I don't want to look drastically different suddenly on my wedding day. My fiance might go into shock! It is a very good suggestion, though, and one I will consider!:)

Like any hairtoys, extensions *can* damage your hair. If you wear them constantly, wear heavy ones and snag them regulary, attach them in the same place regularly, or glue them to your scalp and rip em off, they can cause damage.

I personally have never noticed any damage from my clipped in or bobby pinned in extensions. I vary where I place them, and don't use them every day. Sometimes I wear long ones out loose (clipped about the height of the middle of my ear), sometimes I add them to my pony for extra length and fullness (bobby pinned just below my ponytail, and ponytailed along with the rest of my hair), and sometimes I braid them and wear them as a cute headband. You can also get clip in bangs, or toppers to really add length. I find that it's a lot of fun. :)

[kittengirl]

Like any hairtoys, extensions *can* damage your hair. If you wear them constantly, wear heavy ones and snag them regulary, attach them in the same place regularly, or glue them to your scalp and rip em off, they can cause damage.

I personally have never noticed any damage from my clipped in or bobby pinned in extensions. I vary where I place them, and don't use them every day. Sometimes I wear long ones out loose (clipped about the height of the middle of my ear), sometimes I add them to my pony for extra length and fullness (bobby pinned just below my ponytail, and ponytailed along with the rest of my hair), and sometimes I braid them and wear them as a cute headband. You can also get clip in bangs, or toppers to really add length. I find that it's a lot of fun. :)
Wow, I didn't know there were so many different types! I just might have to look into that; thanks so much for the info!