help?

[FamBam]

I'm usually a lurker on here (for well over a year now) but recently I've been feeling brave.
Well here goes....I just hate my hair. I bleached it out in Jan 2011 but I absolutely HATED it, it completely wrecked my hair and I've been doing regular oiling and using expensive salon quality sulfate-free products on it to try and make it healthier again. I'm only just starting to notice a reduced amount of hair shedding since last April!
I am just feeling extremely exasperated at the moment as I feel like nothing I ever do is good enough for my hair, it's getting me down and all I can do is stare at my hair wishing it to grow faster :(
I have put so much time and effort into my hair and I feel like I am never going to see results with it. I haven't dyed my hair since April 2011, i regularly scalp massage and oil, I use sulfate-free, silicone-free, paraben-free, colourant-free shampoo and conditioner and the only leave-in product I use is coconut oil lightly on my ends post-shower. I use a wide-tooth comb and always gently braid or bun my hair, so what is my hair's problem?! Grr...any help would be most welcome.
(Apologies for my first post being so negative!)

[fridgee]

It sounds like you are doing everything you can to be gentle to your hair. It may just take take time to rehabilitate it and in the end have to gradually trim the damage out. Keep at it tho, it does get better, I promise! Have you tried an SMT? It's a favourite here for boosting moisture levels, a search should bring it up (sorry on my phone so can't link it), but it's a mixture or conditioner, aloe and honey that leaves your hair really soft. Might be worth a try?

[Idjit]

It sounds like you're doing everything right. Your hair surely thanks you but just remember that you can never fix the damage, only improve how it looks somewhat.

The only thing you can really do for damaged hair is to cut it, unfortunately. The new hair will be very healthy if you keep this routine up though. Eventually your hair will be damage free and it will look great, you just have to wait, which I know is the hardest part.

If it were me, I would wait until the hair grows a bit more and then do frequent microtrims to get rid of the damage slowly.

[neverever]

You didn't sa anything about trimming? Do you trim your hair, how often? If you have a lot of split ends it could be worth a try to microtrim every month or something to get rid of damage. If your hair is really dry (it probably is because of the bleach) I think it could be great to try a heavier oil, like olive oil, to really moisturise the hair...

And don't feel so upset about your hair:o Most of us have been there, and it WILL get better! I Have also stopped dying my hair and it just looks awful, but I know it will get healthier and healthier, and that is what makes me hold on...

(sorry for my bad english, its not my first language:rolleyes:)

[LauraDay]

A healthy diet will always help give your current progress abit of a boost.
I feel your pain thoug, it can feel like you're doing everything you possibly can to improve and the results are minimal for the effort required!

[Madora]

Here is a link to the SMT mentioned by Fridgee:

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128

You might also want to consider buying a silk pillowcase cover to help protect your ends at night.

Above all, you need a boatload of patience! Generally speaking, hair grows 6 inches a year. It depends on your genes and your diet..and how you care for your tresses.

It sounds like you've adopted a gentle hair care routine. Perhaps learning new protective updos might help pass the time until you reach your goal.

Good luck!

[FamBam]

Thank you all for your positive comments, I shall give the SMT a go! Oh and I forgot to mention, I have no split ends and I don't use any form of heat on my hair whatsoever hence why I don't trim :)

[cfreya]

My hair was also bleached and I have been looking after it, the top few inches of new growth is ridiculously shiny, soft, strong and healthy, but the majority of my hair which has been previously bleached is still looking damaged, but an improvement on before!
So the way I see it keep looking after your hair and eventually the whole length will be that healthy strong new growth! Definitely do the SMT aswell I did so yesterday and the difference is incredible

[cfreya]

My hair was also bleached and I have been looking after it, the top few inches of new growth is ridiculously shiny, soft, strong and healthy, but the majority of my hair which has been previously bleached is still looking damaged, but an improvement on before!
So the way I see it keep looking after your hair and eventually the whole length will be that healthy strong new growth! Definitely do the SMT aswell I did so yesterday and the difference is incredible

[woolyleprechaun]

It realy sounds like youre going about it the right way :) but sadly bleach damage is bleach damage. Ive got some old highlights in the ends of my hair that havent seen bleach for years, but STILL feel hideous next to my otherwise pampered strands :( For me, its a 'gradualy trim out' job regardless of all the TLC. I hope you learn to love your hair soon, but if not it may be worth maintaining the length until the damage has gone, or taking off half the growth each month or two. Best of luck! *hugs*

[spidermom]

The bleached hair is always going to feel and behave differently than natural, unbleached hair, and I think the sooner you start doing small trims (example - 1/2 inch every 2-3 months), the sooner you will become happy with your hair. Damage can't be healed, although it can be made to feel and behave somewhat better.

[jeanniet]

You can't undo the damage that was done. What you can do is baby it along to keep it in the best shape possible while you gradually trim the damage off. It's hard, but patience is going to pay off in the long run, and it does sound like you're doing everything right now, so hang in there. :)

[Kelikea]

It will take time for your hair to grow out and for you to see the new, undamaged growth, It may take even 2 years. In the meantime, you are doing good things for your hair, treating it well, but how are you treating yourself? Eating healthy, well-balanced diet, exercising, drinking water, lowering stress levels, all contribute to your overall health and hair growth.

[jojo]

sounds like your doing everything you can to help your hair, alas bleach does damage hair even if it doesnt show in splits. Id also suggest trimming the teeniest bit off each month, im talking -- <--- this much, nothing major until your hair feels better.

[IndigoOptimist]

I had basically the same kind of damage from years of dying and in Feb 2010 I just got sick of it and cut myself a bob from almost BSL, thinking it would look nicer.... I CRIED! But I'm glad I did it now because my hair is 100% better than it was and I don't think it could have recovered from the amount of dye/bleach I'd put on it. At the end of the day once hair is damaged that's it, it's damaged. Hair is just dead material so it won't repair itself...
It sounds like you're doing it all right, maybe trim out the damage bit by bit if you don't want to do what I did and chop it all off, that was one painful experience!

[lippleyluv]

You sound like me when I first started here. Our hair types are quite similar & my hair is bleached. I used to do a full head weave every month (YIKES!) When I found this site for the first time I was at nape, & couldn't grow past collarbone. Gee I wonder why,LOL.

Now I only do root touch ups, lots of moisture, CO wash, no heat, micro trim (like this much (--) every three weeks & keep it up most of the time. I also use lots of oil - it just drinks it up! I have used coconut oil, olive oil, and mineral oil. Coconut oil didn't work for me but olive oil is wonderful. I am enjoying mineral oil quite a bit, too.

It took at least a year for my hair to start looking better a little bit. Even if you aren't using heat micro trimming would help nibble away at the damaged areas that are prone to general wear & tear. The damage will not just go away... you can't "heal" it. You can mask the damage until it's long enough to cut off but that's about it.

In the meantime if you can't face The Big Chop (I couldn't) then work on keeping the damaged areas pampered & eventually they will get trimmed off. Good luck! HTH