How to manage child's wavy hair?

[Florida Mom]

My hair is about a 1c, on average...... but my 7 year-old's hair is much much wavier. Probably a 2c. But once her hair is dry, I brush it - and a large amount of her waves get brushed out. If her hair gets wet, sweaty, (or she sticks i in her mouth as she tends to do!) the waves are back, along with lots of curls at the nape of her neck and occasional full curls throughout.

My question is how to care for her hair - should I not brush it? What should I use in it? She loves her waves and occasional curls and wants them to stay.

We wash her hair about twice a week - with gentle children's shampoo followed by Suave coconut conditioner on her ends.... let air dry. Finger comb out before bed. In the morning, I brush and style before school. Before brushing, lovely waves.... after - straight with a bendy wave. Length is about APL - BSL.

Thanks in advance!

[OhioLisa]

I would ditch the brush, use a gentle conditioner to CO, and just use a wide toothed comb after washing.

[novemberfoxtrot]

I don't have kids so I don't know exactly what you're dealing with but I do have curls.

I suggest not brushing it when it's dry. At 2c I'd think she'd get pretty poofy or frizzy. But I can imagine it would get pretty snarly over night. A night braid should help keep it from getting terribly tangly.

[holothuroidea]

My oldest has 2c hair. Brushing when dry does get rid of the waves, but DD's hair is really fine and thick and combing is difficult.

I've found that if I have to brush her hair, a quick spritz with aloe vera gel in water brings back the texture.

Also, she doesn't like to sleep with a bun and prefers braids but the braids make her hair look like a giant bush in the morning and the AVG spray helps with that, too.

I would ditch the shampoo until she hits puberty, kid's don't make sebum until then and conditioner should be sufficient to clean their hair.

[julliams]

I have hair that meets your daughter's description. I personally could not live without my shampoo. I think kids get all kinds of things in their hair when they play that shampoo is necessary (just my opinion). I would keep doing what you are doing.

For me, I have lovely waves on the first day, then on the second day I find that I need to brush (I use a wooden quill brush) through my hair and they get much more straightened out. However with a tiny bit of Nightblooming Panacea (or you could use a tiny drop of oil) you will find that the waves will reform and not be so poofy. Day 2 hair is different but sometimes I actually prefer it. I like being able to get a brush or comb through my hair and lets face it, for most little girls styles, you need to be able to brush through it.

Perhaps just focus on teaching her how to care for it and experiment with ways to achieve the best wave pattern for those special occasions.

[turtlelover]

If you need to brush during the day to detangle, you may be able to re-activate the wave a bit and de-poof by spraying w/ a little water mixed w/ a bit of leave in conditioner (I like generic Paul Mitchell leave-in from Sally's). With kids, it is VERY hard to tell them never to touch their hair after it dries and go a whole day w/out brushing, so this is a good compromise so as to avoid a tangled mess at the end of the day! (I was a wavy haired kid once, and know ALL about tangles! HAHA!)

[julya]

My 7 year old has hair similar to your daughters, but a bit past waist length. I usually braid his hair most of the time. I also use a tangle teezer to detangle, and we mostly do CO on his hair, and shampoo a couple of times a month. To help revive the waves, I sometimes dip the braid into water before detangling and then let it air dry. A spray bottle would work better, but would drive my son crazy!

[Freija]

That is my hair exactly! You've probably already worked out that you need to be really careful if you try to detangle it, especially if your little one's hair is as fine as mine is/was! A detangling spray might be a good thing to get, and to use whenever you comb her hair. It was brilliant for mine, as without it, I just had stand still, trying not to cry, while my hair pulled and snapped.

If possible, don't detangle at all when the hair is dry: just try to avoid the worst knots forming in the first place, and carefully work the rest out when you wash and condition it. For that, I agree with the suggestion of plaiting it loosely at night - and during the day, too, sometimes. Ponytails are perhaps not the best everyday style for fine, curly hair at her age, because they let the hair knot up so much!

Don't brush her hair. It won't go frizzy, like really curly hair does, but it will fall flat, and tangle and pull more. Maybe get a wide-toothed comb, a smooth one, maybe a wooden one; they aren't too expensive and mine works really well for me. With the comb, the waves and curls in your little one's hair will still break up, but not as badly as with a brush, and they'll spring back during the day - especially if, once you've combed her hair out, you spray the lengths with water to dampen it. As she gets older, and runs about less, she'll need to comb less and less; I usually just use the comb on wet hair now, to help me part it - or to smooth it out if I want to wear it up. In the mornings I just neaten up the curls/waves a bit with my fingers.

Basically, the less you do to her hair, the more springy and defined her curls will be. Obviously, it's important not to let it get matted, but a few little tangles are pretty much inevitable; her hair is never going to be totally neat and sleek unless she starts using straighteners (horrors!). Don't worry if it gets a tiny bit tangly, mine still does, and it does more harm to try to get all the knots out (especially when her hair is dry) than to leave them until the next time you wash her hair. If it gets too tangled, do just wash it; usually even the worst knots will come out naturally while you're conditioning it.

Her hair will probably get dry easily, and will love really moisturising conditioners on the ends as she gets older. It shouldn't matter too much while she's still little, but her curls will probably form better if she uses a 'rich' conditioner every other wash or so, or if you put an oil treatment onto the lengths and ends every few weeks. Maybe you could try CWC for her? It should help to detangle her hair, and give it a little extra moisture. I still use CWC now, and mild sulfate shampoo (my scalp gets itchy without it). Shampoo isn't innately evil, and it's a godsend with small children, paint, glue, dirt, food and sticky fingers...!

Hope some of this helps! I'm so glad she likes her hair, and understands it for what it is. I spent years hating mine, and wondering why it was never dead-straight and neat, why it frizzed at the end of the day. I just thought it was a bit ridiculous: I didn't realise it actually had pretty curls! : )

[Florida Mom]

Thank you - I am going to print out all these great suggestions!

Her hair doesn't get frizzy/poofy - except around the nape where it curls up - and tangles.... but after brushing falls flat --- the tangles are awful - way worse than on my hair.

She does wear braids a lot - especially french braids. Because of the tangling.

Aloe vera gel in water - is that a particular type of gel - or does that mean mix the gel with water and spritz it?

Thank you thank you!:)

[Freija]

It just means to mix a little bit of normal, pure aloe vera gel with ordinary water. : )

I have to say, though, I've never liked aloe vera gel on my hair. It always made it feel a bit sticky and extra tangly - unless I used a really tiny amount, in which case it did exactly the same as plain water! Your daughter's hair may take to it differently, though.

[Kelikea]

I have 2c hair and I can brush mine. I just reactivate the curls by spraying with water and scrunching. Shampoo is ok, you just probably should use more conditioner, like on all of the length, not just the ends.

[heidi w.]

I'm unclear regarding the approximate age of your child. I inquire because this goes to fineness of hair. Under 7-10, a child has their baby hair a bit still. By around 10, they're into their Adult hair, and it can change in terms of behavior and texture as you go along, and certainly in other ways too.

I would not use a brush on wavy hair, as a brush tends to more separate the coiled hair from being curly. In fact, lots of wavy-curly folks can't brush as it creates "poof".

I would eventually learn what CO (Conditioner Only) hair washing is, and teach it to her at some point, leaning towards perhaps CO on the length only, not necessarily the scalp hair if it's not overly wavy from the head/root.

You might benefit from a kid's detangler spray. Most curlies have to detangle curly hair while still wet.

I would recommend you use a wide-tooth comb and see if it's a bit better to detangle the hair this way. Then once detangled, and air dried, you can consider the idea of brushing simply to "polish" the hair, as is the common use of a Boar Bristle Brush (BBB).

I recommend that as a parent you might get the book Curly Girl and read it regarding the care of curly hair. (One usually has to order this book as its not available on shelves, typically. Maybe at a used bookstore or at the library, though?) Curly hair should also be trimmed dry, not wet, because it can appear that a lot more hair is removed when the coil of curl is trimmed and has less weight on it to pull it down. It can coil up more and look a lot shorter once dry, if one trims wet. Curly Girl is authored by a very curly haired hairdresser who also has recommendations for no- and low-shampoo products (Devachon salon), and also gives instruction to other hairdressers regarding how to trim or cut curly hair, and how to handle curls. Kind of like trimming a rose bush, a bit. You cut one way, the rose grows in that way versus this way.

http://www.amazon.com/Curly-Girl-Lorraine-Massey/dp/0761123008
authored by Lorraine Massey
book link

http://www.devachansalon.com/about/staff
davachan salon website by Lorraine Massey who invented low- and no- shampoo products, and the Curly Girl method of conditioner only washing hair. For a child's hair, this may be somewhat heavy for "baby hair", so I recommend for now only doing this on the length only, and not on the scalp skin. Wash scalp skin with mild shampoo that has little to no sulfates. Rinse, and then conditioner only to the hair length.

heidi w.

[cobden 28]

When my daughter was small she found that having long curly/wavy hair was a drag to have to look after so we compromised and had her hair cut into a shopulder-length bob with a full fringe. Now she's away at Uni she's had her hair cut into a layered style and straightens the life out of her hair :(

My husband has hair that's naturally very curly, like a cross between a marcel wave and a bubble perm (curly hair runs in his family) whereas my hair is dead straight; daughter's hair is straight-ish but with just enough of a wave/curl in for it not to be described as 'straight' - she would love to have hair as straight as mine, whereas I'd love to have wavy hair like hers!

[leslissocool]

I have coarse wavy/curly hair (depends on the day and how its dried). In average it's wavy, with curl only at the bottom.

Don't use a brush (even a boar bristle one) on you kid's hair. It was a nightmare on mine, and it lost most of the wave. The thing with wavy hair IMO it tends to be quite poofy if brushed out, and static. My daughter has hair exactly like mine, but lighter. I use Kimblerly's defrizz spray recipe, look it up it's quite amazing.

I use a wide tooth comb. If you can bun her hair, try damp bunning a cinnamon bun in the middle of her hair. Her hair would stay that way even when you comb through after.

Also I do a high cinnamon bun for sleeping, and the next day when I let it down it looks exactly like my siggy picture ( not damp, damp looks a but more curly). I think your daughter is quite lucky, I personally love my hair texture :cheese:.

[Kelikea]

Find someone who has similar looking hair and ask that person what they do!